#i literally have 50 pages of incorrect bapo quotes on google docs

[thefrostedfeather52]

incorrect bapo quotes (part 1)

there are definitely bapo incorrect quotes already out there somewhere however i have an incredible long incorrect quotes doc so here are some of the Good Ones (incorrect quotes my beloved <3)

Peter: Well, I suppose the only solution would be to tell everyone the truth. Jason: That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard in my entire life.

Peter: You can’t make everyone like you, you’re not Jason Matt: What? Not everyone likes Jason Peter: Who doesn’t? Matt: Well mayb- Peter: Names, Matt, I need names

Nadia: Oh, so now I’m supposed to be nice, make friends and treat her with mutual respect? Peter: Yeah Nadia: Wake up, Peter! That’s exactly what Ivy wants me to do Peter: That’s what everyone wants everyone to do!

Jason: It’s £2.50 per rose Matt: Who has that kind of money? Nadia: Ivy loves roses Matt: I’ll take them all

Lucas: Man, I really like Tanya. Lucas: I better show her how much she means to me. Lucas: *sends her a meme at 3am*

Ivy: *pushes a pull door* Nadia: You’re supposed to pull, not push. Ivy: Thanks, next I was gonna try lifting the door from the bottom.

Ivy: I'm thinking of doing charity work? Nadia: You should donate blood Ivy: Oh, th- Nadia: All of it.

Ivy: I searched everywhere. Nadia: What? Ivy: I looked through hundreds of files. Ivy: Searched through my messages. Ivy: I even searched my wardrobe. Ivy: But I still couldn’t find where I asked for your opinion. Nadia: …

(okay but this one is based on an actual conversation i had with my friends) Peter: Do you know how far away December is? Cause I don’t Jason (joking): 12 months Nadia: Does it look like fucking Christmas to you? Ivy (gesturing to the open door): Shhhh Nadia: Oh sorry, but seriously, does it look like Christmas to you? Peter (actually thinking): Wait, aren’t there 24 months in a year? Jason: You’re thinking of the 24 days of Christmas Nadia: It’s the 12 days of Christmas! Jason: Well my advent calendar has 24 days on it- Peter: Wait, how many days are in December? Nadia: 31! Ivy: What’s wrong with you?! Peter: It’s cause we’re gay, we can’t do math Jason: I can do math Nadia: Shhhh *gestures around* Jason: I can do math Peter (panicking): Sorry uhhh…we’re not gay, we’re uh incredibly straight ummm…we’re homophobic! Nadia: *facepalms* Jason: I can do math

Nadia: Everyone I know is on a date right now Nadia: Well, not all together, but you know what I mean Nadia: So now I’m alone Nadia: Which means... Nadia: *inhales* Nadia: ACCORDING TO ALL KNOWN LAWS OF AVIATION THERE IS NO WAY A BEE SHOULD BE ABLE TO FLY. ITS WINGS ARE TOO SMALL TO GET ITS FAT LITTLE BODY OFF THE GROUND!!! Ivy: See this is why you’re forever alone Nadia: Whatever helps you sleep at night

Lucas: If I were a millionaire, I would buy millions of melons and become a melonaire Matt: Matt: How do you have friends? Lucas: Because I’m a melonaire

Lucas: Dumbest scar stories, go! Peter: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Ivy: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Nadia: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Matt: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Jason: Jason: I have emotional scars.

Lucas: I mean it was all fun and games until I licked the power outlet Matt: Walk me through the process that led up to that and then I'll decide whether you need to see a therapist

Nadia: I'm a moderate, peaceful person Jason: You threw a chair at Ivy yesterday Nadia: That is moderate and peaceful compared to the table I was going to throw at her

Lucas, angrily: ARE YOU- Nadia: fucking. Lucas: -KIDDING ME?! YOU- Nadia: fucking. Lucas: IDIOT- Jason: …what was that? Nadia: Matt banned Lucas from swearing, so I volunteered to help him out Peter: I think you just like saying the f word. Nadia: That doesn’t make my job any less important.