#i love AtBI but man

[shig-a-shig-ah]

Hey! So a while back I remember you mentioning having to prepare yourself for the motivation of writing (and completing) a long fic before starting AtBI, and I was wondering if you could go more into what that process was like? I want to try my hand at a longer fic for the first time in a while, but I struggle a lot with motivation these days 😞

Oh, man. So for me it involved doing a couple of things. The first was literally just psyching myself up for it which I know is vague, but it's the truth. I don't think there's any shame in writers moving on from long fics and leaving them incomplete, but I didn't want to do that so I tried to steel my resolve or whatever by literally thinking a lot about the time commitment. Not so much in terms of what I'd have to invest in writing week to week, but in terms of how long it would take me to finish the story. I also thought a lot about the fact that it would be my main writing priority for potentially a really long time. (I still WAY underestimated that time frame, btw. Partly because I'm posting much slower than I used to, and partly because the fic is going to be twice as long as I originally thought.)

The second thing I did was more practical, and that was outlining and making sure I more or less knew what was going to happen for at least the first 90% of the story. My outline was way more specific about the first half of the fic than the last half--probably 80% of what's happened in the story so far was according to outline. I think one of the big reasons long fics get dropped is because people don't know where they're going and things just kind of peter out. I don't think having that kind of plan is is strictly necessary, but it does make my life a lot easier on days where I'm feeling uninspired or unmotivated, because the writer's block doesn't hit as hard. I at least have enough already done to work out a very shitty rough draft of a scene, and from there editing is always easier. I think I've mentioned before that I already had a pretty good writing habit--it was a big part of my morning routine so I'd literally sit down to work on thing around the same time every day--and that also really helped with the motivation.

So, idk. I think just really thinking through what you want to accomplish, how you'll make sure you're working on it consistently (if that's a goal), and what you'll do if it starts to feel like a slog are all really helpful for actually getting it done. It feels important to note that doing all that only helps so much, too--I really love writing AtBI but I have thought about abandoning it or going on hiatus more than once. It can be weirdly stressful writing a long fic, for a lot of reasons. You might get new ideas you wish you had more time to pursue, and then you have to think about priorities. Or you might get kind of bored of your own story, because if you're trying to keep tone/characterization/dynamics really consistent, eventually things are going to start feeling repetitive. Maybe not to readers (although I guess people could weigh in on that) but definitely as a writer. And that's without thinking about the potential added pressure if people get invested in your fic. It sounds kind of egotistical to pose that as a problem, but most people I know who've written long fics that got traction have agreed that after a while it gets easy to stress about disappointing your regular readers, so things start to feel more high stakes. I have definitely spiraled out more than once thinking I'm about to post garbage that people will hate, and while it's logically easy to know that I'm writing for myself and have every right to tell the story I want to tell, sometimes it's harder to actually feel that if you get what I mean.

Of course, some of this depends on how long 'long' is to you. AtBI is probably going to be 250k words by the time it's done and that's just stupid. I would never attempt to write another fic that goes through the whole canon timeline, or anything even close to that long. Something that's probably going to be 60k words is going to be a lot easier to get through and avoid some of these problems, I think.

Anyway, that's probably more than anyone wanted on the subject but I, uh, have a lot of thoughts on writing long fics, and the sum of it is that to do it I think you have to be either a really fast low-stress writer, or a little bit insane.

[shig-a-shig-ah]

ooo do tell what ur wip list looks like

-void anon

Nice to see you void anon! And sure! But keep in mind that the first couple have a good chance of getting finishing in the next couple months but the rest is very ??? in if it’ll ever get done because the eternal WiP that is Addicted to Bad Ideas eats up so much of my time and also a couple of these I have zero idea what to really do with.

Anyway, I have:

ゝYandere!Shigaraki forcing you to wear his family and fingerbanging you with Father. (50% done, definitely getting posted soon-ish.)

ゝThis half-horror/half-character study kinda thing where Shigaraki gets kidnapped and tortured by reader in mostly but not entirely non-smutty ways. (A bunch of fragmented scenes right now that I still gotta figure out how to out together because there’s a couple different things going on.)

ゝ This Yandere thing where you’re a new recruit and Shigaraki learns that you’re homeless and invites you to stay with him where he lives with AFO, and then shit turns creepy. I’m envisioning this is as like, a 3-5 chapter story if I ever finish it. (First third of this is entirely written but I don’t quite know where I want to take it after the setup. because the vibes aren’t as strong as I like.)

ゝThis contextless scene that may or may not go in the fic above where Shigaraki noncons you after a consensual relationship has already been established because the boy does not understand boundaries. (Have a tiny bit of this written because it’s actually a deleted scene from Offering that was a little too dark for that fic. But now idk where to home it.)

ゝDubcon smut where Dabi convinces shitty boyfriend Shigaraki to rope you into a threesome with the two of them. (Have had a rough draft of the opening scene for this done for more than a year, but it keeps getting subsumed to other stuff, wompwomp.)

ゝAnother short chaptered fic that’s basically a pure crack comedy of errors where Yandere!Shig and Yandere!Reader stalk each other in it. (I have like three sentences for this in the notes app on my phone.)

ゝThis unrequited love thing that’s set a year or more after a soft yandere Shigaraki kidnapped you, where you never developed romantic feelings for him but the two of you are just very used to each other and the whole vibe is ‘bitter and resentful married couple.’ (Ditto this for having almost nothing actually written.)

[shig-a-shig-ah]

Okay I don’t know if I might’ve missed it or maybe it isn’t important but I sure hope Tomura did bring his copy of the picture of him and MC back with him when he went back to his room to grab his things :o. I think that possibility of the heroes seeing that picture if they did know about his home would probably land MC into even more hot water and given the current situation with her and the rest of the LOV the possibility that her getting caught in the crossfire when she was only trying to be helpful to her somewhat boyfriend and the higher tension it could lead to with their relationship makes my toes curl lmao

That would definitely be bad for reader but also ngl, I’m giggling thinking about the police rooting around in all Shig’s and being like ‘wtf’ when they come upon that cutesy shit.

The photos are actually gonna come up again in the next chapter, too, whenever I manage to fucking finish it. But, for now I’ll leave you wonder whether they’re getting reader in trouble or softening her wary heart, or getting Shig teased mercilessly by the League.

[shig-a-shig-ah]

Thank you so much! I’m just wondering how Shig would react to his S/O telling him they loved him for the first time. I’d like to think it’d mean the world to him. The idea of it makes me so soft I’m 🥺🥺🥺

Oh man, I’ve written that scenario a couple of times, and it’ll happen again eventually in AtBI, and and my unwavering opinion is honestly that he’d be shook 😂

I’ve said before that I don’t think even a softer Shigaraki would be very reflexive regarding his positive emotions, so I don’t think he’d really think much about whether he loves you. He’d know that he wants you and you make him feel good, and he wouldn’t think on it or question it much beyond that. So, when you finally tell him that you love him, that’s probably the first time the idea of love in general has consciously crossed his mind, and he’s going to be like a deer in the headlights.

That’s not to say he won’t be happy about it—he will. But he’ll also have no idea how to respond at first. Shigaraki probably spent his whole life not thinking about love much, and not think of himself as someone who could be loved, so there’ll be some internal conflict when he hears those words. Does he really believe you could? Does he want that? Deserve it?

Even if he had somehow realized he’s in love with you before the confession, he’ll still need minutes to hours to process it. His eyes wide and overwhelmed as he thinks on what you said, and the warmth it sparked in his chest despite some inner conflict over it. Depending on how long he needs to process, you’re likely to be met with nothing but a long stare or an abrupt change of subject. If he already know he loves you back, he might tell you in some roundabout way—definitely not the actual words, but some awkward variety of ‘I guess we’re on the same page then.’ Either way though, you can expect that later he’ll be more willing to put it into words, but only barely. Maybe he’ll wait until he thinks you’re sleeping to say it out loud, or he’ll whisper it in your ear when he’s inside you, hoping those mumbled words get lost in the haze of lust and his other less tender murmurs.

No matter what, though, he’ll be glad to know that someone, that you, could love him.

[shig-a-shig-ah]

10,6, n 7 plss💖

Thanks for playing anon!

6. Describe what you do and your feelings after posting a chapter. (For example: When do you usually post a fic/chapter update? How do you celebrate a posting? Are you the type to refresh constantly?, etc.)

Usually by the time I post a chapter I’m kind of sick of it, so I mostly just feel relieved to have it done and to have a little break before I feel like I have to start on the next one.

I used to be team ‘refresh constantly’ too but after 25 chapters I’ve mellowed. I just check for comments when I’m checking other social media.

7. What do you love most about being a fic writer for your fandom?

Hands down the other Shig simps. I really cannot overstate how much fun it is seeing everyone’s art and general depraved thoughts and reactions to content, and having a whole cabal of fellow horny deviants desperate for that man. I’m obsessed with it and I love y’all so much for it.

10. Why do you continue writing fics?

Once I have an idea I basically have to write it to exorcise the horny demons from my head. Also ngl, sometimes a sense of obligation is clutch for keeping going with AtBI, although I usually come back around to being self-motivated eventually. Long fics are just their own kind of struggle.

happy fic writer asks

[shig-a-shig-ah]

ghul i cant stop thinking about some bits of the manga i been going over for the hundredth time from the war arc, around ch 280 onwards the dialogue shigs spouts just keeps sticking in my brain

like when he crushes ole man gran tostino (derogatory) izuku goes into a fit and says “shigaraki i’ll never forgive you!” & shigs reply in a perfectly round and clear word bubble is, “and i wont forgive anyone”

i just ?? cue windows shut down noises bc i have to take ten minutes to recover from that line its so powerful to me and speaks volumes on his current character ＿|￣|○

anyhoot thems some of my thots !! do you have any particular dialogue of his you like the most ? ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

I love that part too! Like good for him, honestly.

I could probably think of some stuff if I like, went and looked because I know there are parts that have really hit. Like the whole section of MVA where he’s narrating his backstory just gets me 🥺

Earlier today though I was doing a little research or whatever for AtBI and rereading his convo with Midoriya at the mall and some of those other early scenes, and thinking that for as much as he was supposed to not have conviction early on, he really wasn’t saying things that were that much different than what he talks about in the war arc. Like even at the USJ he says, “Heroes and villains both thrive on violence, but we're still categorized. "You're good. You're evil." That's how it is.”

I know I read a really good meta about that once--how Shigaraki had conviction all along and it was just people like All Might and Stain belittling him. But it really drove it home for me that even if it’s couched in all this language of ‘society is bullshit and I wanna destroy it because I hate it,” Shigaraki already had a definite sense of real injustices and fragilities in the system. His framing just gets a lot clearer later on in the story. 

[shig-a-shig-ah]

Hey, Ghuleh! I just wanna share some dumb Shiggy thoughts, as always. After reading that great sexy scene with premature ejaculation from AtBI, I can't stop imagining it in my head in different scenarios. Like, you made Shigaraki cum in his pants right before you both have to go to the battleground. And despite all his attempts to hide a spot near his fly, you know that he has sticky pants. You will make a lot of jokes about that moment in the future, and he will try to shut you the fuck up

Oh my god I fucking love it. Getting Shigaraki off with just grinding/heavy petting is already such a fanatasy, and the idea of mercilessly giving that man an endless hard time and him hating it but also loving it is just the dream.