gizemlialper26

[wiidoodles]

we interrupt our feral posting for a good boy

[haruhey]

chronological thoughts of 11x22

- judith’s intros annoy me im sorry 💔

- is it bad i dont really care about this storyline 😭

- omg hes taking notes

- OMG THEYRE FIGHTING THEM

- guys shes pregnant jesus christ leave her alone

- DARYL AND CAROL 🫶🫶🫶

- OMG ITS LUKE

- back from his fantastic beasts contract 🤪🤪

- OMG I FORGOT THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT OVEANSIDE

- pamela milton looks so EXTREMELY evil

- ITS A LIE ITS A LIE SLAY YUMIKO

- answer the question governor 🔫

- THEY DONT HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO ALTER THE TAPE

- free eugene period

- OMG CONNIE DARYL TEAM UP DOWN SHIT TUNNEL LETS GOOOOOO

- that red haired dude is such a prick omg

- i wonder WHY they hate you negan 🙄🙄

- LEAVE ANNIE ALONE SHE DIDNT DO ANYTHING EXCEPT MARRYING NEGAN (unfortunately)

- i forgot how dark this show is omg straining my little eyes so hard rn

- CAROL AND MAGGIE TEAM UP HELL YEAH

- LET MY POOR BOY GOOOOO HE DIDNT DO NOTHING WRONG EUGENE PLEASE 😭

- NOOOOOOOOO IF EUGENE DIES I WILL ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE

- mercer JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK DOING SOMETHING ISNT GONNA CHANGE ANYTHING DOESNT MEAN IT WONT??? why not just TRY? you hold power and you have to do SOMETHING??? one person can be ENOUGH to change the status quo and YOU HAVE RHE POWER TO BE THAT PERSON !! why do you want to even continue to serve under pamela 😭😭😭

- oh my god maggie going through it tn

- CAROL AND MAGGIE PLS SEASON 1 GIRLIES FTW IKTR IKTR

- omg negan has no friends at al this is so awesome

- I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT BENJAMIN

- im telling u we should all kill negan so hard

- NOT NEGAN GOING “ok and what? move on 🙄” 😭😭😭

- is negan going rogue jesus christ

- daryl’s smoking is finally catching up to him

- i love eugene so much 💔💔💔

- MERCER PLEASE LISTEN TO EUGENE PLEASE MERCER

- istg if EUGENE FUCKING DIES

- FINALLYYYYYY KILL HIM KILL HIM

- ARE THEY GONNA KILL ANNIE?? UM??? GUYS???

- GUYS???

- no i will not be INFLUENCED TO LIKE NEGAN I WILL NOT

- omg unionize guys

- LEAVE KELLY ALONE NOT MY GIRL NO PLEASE

- omg daryl saved her daryl thank you oh my god u need ur dick sucked for that fr

- HERSHEL?? LEAVE HIM ALONE???

- YES CAROL SLAY CAROL

- i love this bitch !! (hershel)

- rosita is gonna kill everyone to get to coco iktr iktr

- i swear to FUCKING GOD IF EUGENE DIES IM DEACTIVATING MY ACCOUNT

- YESSS MERCER TIME TO FUCK SHIT UP !!!

- anywayssss fuck pamela and its time to fuck shit up

[sighfertryptich]

Im going to rant(ish), skip if you want.

So I was watching a video (its the “Generations React to Dan Howell and Eugene Lee Yang Coming Out On Youtube” video by FBE) and everyone started sharing their coming out stories, and everyone was sharing that they were either scared or felt a freak by it. I felt that I wanted to, considering this is the only platform I have on here that I can express myself to the fullest without judgement, share my own, even though I am not in an accepting household.

So, let me start out with this. Growing up, I thought I was straight. There were no signs of me feeling any different than other kids. I was one of the more innocent children, I didnt care about gender identity or sexuality. I just cared about who I was going to play with at recess. By the time I hit fifth grade, I was naïve to the fact that not everyone was attracted to everyone around them. I didn’t understand that some boys only liked girls, and some girls only liked boys. In my community, it was rare that the gays and lesbians understood what it was, so they werent around to put that knowledge in our vocabulary. To me, if you had a crush, it could be on either a female or a male, whether or not you were the same gender or the opposite.

Reaching middle school, about a year later, our views were widened. People around me were realizing or expressing their sexualities. I, on the other hand, still didn’t understand that there were labels to these things. (Keep in mind, there still weren’t lesbians or gays out in the open yet. Everyone was either bisexual or straight.)

When this new vocabulary came to light, I could finally attempt to put a name to myself, liking both men and women.

I accepted the term bisexual for myself at the ripe age of 11.

I didn’t plan on telling my parents. I never wanted to. They didnt have to know who I was imagining kissing, they didnt have to know who I had crushes on. To this day, I never planned on telling them until the day came that I would have to. As in, if the time came, I would tell them when I got engaged to a woman.

Throughout middle school, I was labeled bisexual. It just felt normal to like who I wanted to like, and the people I surrounded myself with accepted me. I guess I got lucky with that. Reaching into high school, I got my first serious woman x woman crush. Every single day, she’d come into class and I would just gush over her. She was gorgeous. And being honest, a ripe 13 year old me was in her scene phase, and this girl oozed alternative. She had a grunge look, part of her hair was dyed sea-foam green, and she was sweet and funny and kind. As far as I knew, she liked me back.

I remember my first Sadie Hawkins dance. I got with my school’s GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) Club and put together this whole thing where me and a couple friends made shirts that said “Will you go to Sadie Hawkins with me?” She said yes! but then later the dance was canceled and we just made other plans. As time went on, she led me on to thinking she liked me. I found out she didn’t and that she was wasting her time on me when she got with one of my guy friends.

This is when my chronic depression stepped its pussy up. Thank you Dan Howell for giving me that quote.

When I was 15, I moved to my small town a state over where I reside to this day. I was still labeling myself as bisexual. I met my first lesbian that year. (And yes, this was my first time meeting a lesbian. Im serious.) She became my best friend for the next 3 and a half years. She opened me to the world of different labels and helped me through finding out what I realized I truly was.

I was, and am, Pansexual. And a proud one at that. #PansexualPride.

I got my first serious girlfriend when I was 18. Or at least, I thought it was serious. I was head over heels for her. She claimed she was bisexual. [I say claimed because she admitted after we broke up that she was straight.]

Long story short, she used me to go to RenFest, then broke up with me a week later blaming her depression, then got with some dude a day later.

A couple of months later, I met a girl through an app called Amino. She was pansexual, like me, and we had a lot of the same interests. Only problem was that while I lived in Louisiana, she lived on an island off the coast of Florida.

Although our relationship didn’t last long, I added her because this was the first time in my entire life that I actually could see myself marrying a woman.

Let me explain.

Up until this point, I had only ever seen myself marrying a man. Yes, I had an attraction to women. Ive dated women, although not many, but never could see myself marrying any of them. Nothing wrong with that.

During this time, I cut my hair very short. Like, pixie-cut with an undercut. My intentions to cut it were that it’d be easier to put up into wigs when I cosplayed, and it’d be less to take care of and look good. We’ll come back to this later.

Directly after our 3 month anniversary, yes I do month anniversaries, I met my current girlfriend, Cole.

I swear, it was one of those moments where you see someone and you know they’re going to be in your life for years to come. [Fun fact - she told me that after she had met me for the first time, she joked with her friend that her and I “would have an August wedding” even though we barely had passed a few sentences between each other.] There’s just that feeling when you look someone in the eyes and know that there’s something special about them. Something you want - no, need - in your life, whether it’s to make a life-long decision or just to help you grow as a person.

I started dressing more comfortably. I no longer wore skirts or dresses. I wore jeans and t-shirts and hats and less makeup. I wore chains attached to my belt loops. All in all, I started looking more masculine, even though it was just me dressing comfortably. My job allowed it, I was earning the money to allow me to buy clothes like this. It made me happy. I started feeling more comfortable with more masculine terms rather than strictly feminine terms, ie. “mans, they, them, boy” etc. I wasn’t uncomfortable when someone said I looked like a boy, nor was I uncomfortable with my female body. I just didnt care. It wasnt insulting as I was raised to think it was. In fact, I encouraged it. I allowed - and still allow - people to think I was whatever gender they assigned me with. In all, I became Genderfluid. Gender Neutral, if you will.

Now, we’re going to back up just a tiny bit. Tee tiny, nothing big.

About a month before I met Cole, someone outted me to my mother. Keep in mind, I was never planning on coming out to her. My older sister is like me, Pansexual. She strives on the fact that she doesnt tell people she’s in a woman x woman relationship unless people directly ask. She doesnt label her sexuality. And I look up to her severely for that.

My mother is homophobic. She says she isn’t, and maybe she’s not, due to the fact she accepts my sister and her girlfriend, and hopes they get married someday. But for me, I was supposed to be the ray of hope. I was supposed to be blonde, straight, thin, cheerleading captain female who went to college and became highly successful. I wasn’t supposed to be the 5-foot-8, blue haired, overweight, artsy gender fluid kid she had who dropped out of high school, got their GED, and “doesnt show signs of responsibility” (- per my mother, who doesnt want to put me through college) kid she ultimately got.

Dressing how I felt was comfortable and loving who I wanted to love brought me hate from the one person who should love me unconditionally - my own mother. Most people were given hate by their peers, being called gay and butch. My hate was given from the person who gave me life. My mother has said that she regrets getting pregnant with me, and that she would’ve stopped after her first two kids. In fact, she had her tubes tied BEFORE she got pregnant with me. I was being born, with or without her consent. She has told me countless times that she feels like she failed as a parent due to the way I came out as an adult.

To this day, she tells me that I constantly look “too lesbian” or “too butch” and that I need to “go back to how I used to look”. She doesnt accept that I like women. She calls me a lesbian - and everyone knows that when you like both men and women, you’re very obviously not a lesbian. Ive told her countless times that I’m not a lesbian. But she never listens. She uses the term lesbian as anyone in middle school would use the word gay - as an insult.

It makes me confused. How could you raise your kid - which by the way, Im the first kid she raised on her own, her other two were raised with either my grandmother or the baby’s father - and tell them you’re disgusted by their happiness? How could you be okay with one pansexual daughter and hate the other?

(This next part might be TMI but it makes another avid point.)

How can you be okay with your daughter sending explicit pictures to a boy, but be disgusted by your daughter holding hands with a girl?

I still have to hide my relationship with Cole. It makes me sick to my stomach to not be able to say “Mom, this is my girlfriend.” with the girl I care ever so deeply for. I want to take her to family events and show her to the world, screaming at the top of my lungs that Cole is mine and mine alone.

Cole tells me that I’m an idiot when I get gushy. In fact, she’ll probably text me saying I made her cry (dont worry, its tears of love) if she gets to the end of this.

Cole is gorgeous. Even when I spend the night, and she’s got sleep in her eyes the next morning, teeth not yet brushed, hair a mess, making gross yawning faces, I still think she’s quite possibly the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. She’s always got me nonstop laughing, doubling over and straight up snorting sometimes. She’s caring and headstrong, not afraid to stand up for what she believes in.

I want to be able to show her off.

But I cant with a mother like mine.

So, long story short, I grew up in an accepting community. Fell hard for some men and some women. Grew up and realized who I was as a person. Found someone who accepts me through each and every questioning moment I have with myself. Yet, I cant show her off like the people around me all because of the one person who gave me life.

I guess you could say this is the end, but everyone knows its a To Be Continued. You just gotta roll with what life gives you, whether or not the people in your life are there to love you or hurt you.

If you got this far, I applaud and also thank you. I’m not able to rant to anyone like this, so if you took the time to read this, I appreciate it. No one wants to hear my story. If you do…

My name is Marley, and I am a Pansexual, Gender Neutral, KPop loving cosplayer who is not afraid to love who they want to love.

Thank you ♡

(Btw, sorry if I got off track towards the end. My mind wanders when telling stories. I wrote this on my phone so I’ll go back and add a “Keep Reading” thing if you’d rather just skip it.)

[daisy--sorbet]

no one cares but uhhh time 4 some kh3 opinions

god i love olympus. it was a rly nice world to be reintroduced to and i actually rly loved whats essentially a tutorial level.

and while im sorta implying game mechanics - i actually rly love the way kh3 plays. the fighting feels pretty fluid imo and i really love formchanges a lot more than i did in kh2

and by formchanges i mean

just. i guess just the formchanges from shooting star and hunny spout - more shooting star tho bc its just. rly fun to nyoom around 

uhhhhh what else

im sad abt twilight town bc it was one of my fave worlds in kh2 tbh and now its just. its so tiny. its gorgeous but its just so small and i would have loved to be able to see the usual spot at the very least???

HAYNER. PENCE. OLETTE. i love them. especially hayner tryin 2 fuckin kick ansem sod like u stupid boy i love u

also i never expected to love ienzo as much as i do but i love him w my entire god damn heart. a cute dude. 10/10 i can and will die for him

and speaking of characters i love a lot: demyx, axel, and larxene are all still <3333 for me. axel and demyx have been since 2, and larxene started w 3 and intensified when i met her in kh re:com because ugh she could literally slam me against a wall and i’d be heart eyes emoji at her

listen i loved playing as riku in 3D and i wish i could play as him more.

AQUA. MY GIRL. i loved fighting as her even tho i nearly died in the process once or twice but-

also!!!! waking ven up!!!!!! my boy!!!! i love ventus so much and hes probably one of my fave characters its just <333 to see my boy awake again

possibly also intensified by the fact i recently beat bbs and watched him sleeb

i already shared my thoughts on the paopu scene.

uh back 2 worlds

i think my fave worlds so far would be a huge tie between the kingdom of corona and san fransokyo??? which... im probably biased because i rly love tangled and bh6 but

i love eugene so much sdfkjhsdf hes just. one of my fave disney guys honestly.

and UHHH

TWO??? BAYMAXES???? i was so excited when i saw both of them bc baymax has been one of my favorite characters for a while now and bh6 is still one of my fave movies even tho i desperately need to rewatch it soon.

i tried to get a pic of hiro being hugged by both of them just so i could send it to a pal and say “god i wish this were me” but sdkfsdhf

uhhh least favorite world out of all of them is definitely the caribbean :/// FUCK luxord and that boat race. it was bullshit and i lost too many times bc i literally like. had the tutorial on how to steer boat and i went “oh no. ohhh no. oh no.” because i Knew what was coming because you dont just introduce new mechanics like that without putting in some kind of challenge with them tbh :/

but no, seriously, this world literally ruined any sort of replayability for me??? like. i’d replay the game, but i’d get to the caribbean and go “oh fuck, not this part” and die i guess

arendelle was.... ok. not my favorite world, but not my least favorite in the series at all. i wish they could have done more.

100 acre wood felt... rushed. im glad they included it bc theyve had it in every game im p sure??? or at least in most of them. i do love the minigames and its still a good happy place 

ALSO. SPEAKING OF 100 ACRE WOODS AND MINIGAMES

i got so excited to see remy in twilight town 

mr ratatouille im a huge fan

(idk how many ppl i dmed that with 0 context and they were like “ok then” but it was a lot)

monstropolis was fun! i grew up watching monsters inc a thousand times w my brother so it was just another <333 nostalgia thing for me 

TOY BOX WAS LIKE. VERY MIXED FOR ME??? i love the world and what it is, but i didnt enjoy certain parts of it

mainly also that opening bc that commercial confused me a lot before it was revealed to be a commercial

lets talk forms.

toy box sora: good design imo. very cute. 

monstropolis sora: also very cute. his lil tail...

the caribbean sora: honestly, as much as i hate this world, i absolutely adore this design??? hes so cute and he actually fits in with the world because kh2... the contrast there is rly funny sfkjjshf

uhhhhhh main complaint: can we talk about the writing in this game? mainly the female characters?

i was hoping for badass kairi. shes a keyblade wielder for christs sake! but instead shes stuck in another pretty pink dress and shoved into the background.

and while we’re on kairi: i wanna know more about her friendship with axel??? 

i actually really like concepts brought up with aqua. she stayed hopeful for so long, anti-aqua was an interesting concept! im also an awful person who likes to break characters sometimes for the development it brings but something tells me not much is going to come from this. she was left alone down there for so long, and when she had a shot at potentially escaping, she lost it. :(

thank u san fransokyo for giving us some good gals. i love go-go and honey lemon a lot since hell yea!!! smart gals kickin ass!!! love them.

i feel ROBBED of having elsa as a companion. i guess it makes sense but i was hoping to have her fuck shit up after accepting her ice powers bc her kingdom was in trouble Or Some Shit like cmon man :(

also why was the entirety of let it go in kh3. it looks so good but why.

were there any other female characters??? olette im relatively ok w since shes not supposed to be some super strong fighter or anything im p sure - and the other female characters in different worlds either didnt stand out enough for me to have any feelings towards

sora feels... off in this game. so does riku. idk what it is, but...

OH

THE DYNAMICS BETWEEN SORA, DONALD, AND GOOFY???

they’re so good.

i was smiling so hard at the “just like your face!” joke because it was so DUMB but it was so CUTE and i love the three of them being good pals and making dumb jokes together

i also love mickey and riku havin a good friendship there.

even if i did make the “mickeyriku is canon” joke when they reunited at the end of 2. it was purely to stop myself from crying.

but idk as much as i love sora, donald, and goofy gettin some good friendship stuff in - it feels like

thats where all the focus was for sora’s friendships? like.

idk he doesnt really talk to kairi or riku as far as i remember???? more kairi than riku but like. still. theyre supposed to be two of his closest friends tht he grew up with, and yet he doesnt??? really make any comments abt communicating w them from what i can remember???

like. the most he had was calling riku i think? and then going to the realm of darkness to get riku and the king back.

i wonder how much of the kh3 plot would change if we took kairi out

huh