#i love golf! the maid outfits! yeah :')

[sollucets]

rowan's eclipse anniversary celebration

week nine: location

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 1 "Pilot" & Ep 2 "Hell Week"(Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

Something really bad happened.

Did you just get your period all over yourself?

This isn't my blood.

Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?

I'm sure I can walk if I can just get some Gatorade.

I don't care if you can walk.

How are we supposed to get you to the front door without everyone seeing you all gross and postpartum?

No one wants to see that at a party.

This is super embarrassing.

I didn't even know I was pregnant.

You guys, they're playing "Waterfalls."

Is that a baby? Amazing.

I am not missing "Waterfalls" for this. "Waterfalls" is my jam.

Give the baby some mojito to quiet it down.

How do you know she's dead?

These are my minions. I don't know their names. I don't want to know their names.

I have a colonic at 10

Life is a class system.

Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.

Yeah, you have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.

I'm sorry. Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?

I hate sororities, and I hate you.

First of all, I'm not a lesbian.

You see, out in the real world, people just don't talk that way to other people. It's not normal.

Well, that sure sounds suspicious.

No one forced that goat to get as drunk as it got.

Historically, short people are sneaky backstabbers, like Napoleon or Paul Shaffer.

I could actually handle that you're built like a Thai ladyboy, but what I can't stand is that you think you're my heir apparent.

Don't you want me to spray-tan you?

I would honestly rather not have you around.

The police still can't figure out who filled that tank with hydrochloric acid.

It's good enough for me, and the D.A., who, last I heard, considers the case closed.

What is that skirt?

Your organization might want to find a lawyer.

I'm a pretty smart cookie.

I would not get personal with me, sweetheart.

I don't fight fair.

I am sentimental.

Look, girls are vicious, okay?

I don't have any of my own memories.

Just like we planned. Three-second silent hug, and then you leave.

Ooh, somebody call CSI, because there was a murder scene in that bathroom.

Someone puked in the sink and I'm pretty sure I saw an actual ringworm climbing up the wall. I'm not afraid of anything, but that bathroom scared the crap out of me.

This is gonna be a year of infinite possibilities.

Hold this. It's too heavy.

You didn't knock!

Look at them. They're the dregs of society.

Each one of these gashes is worse than the next.

She smells like hot dog water, and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley.

Look, I'm not saying that all heterosexual sex is rape. I'm saying all heterosexual sex is gross, and that deep down, every woman knows this.

All that girl's after is a whole lot of bikini burger.

Hey, girl, can I just ask you, what's up with your outfit?

God knows what they're talking about, basic bitches.

What fresh hell is this?

I need you to stay popular, 'cause if you want to stay at the top of the list of the pieces of ass I'm getting, there's criteria. And the criteria is you got to be popular.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, because I'm getting really pissed off.

Stop fake crying.

Anyone you dated would be popular. I mean, they would be popular because they're dating you.

My ego, it's super strong, ok, but it's not strong enough that I can just go around dating garbage people.

Like, yes, I could find a random girl who wasn't popular, and, yes, if I started dating her she would then become popular.

But you said you loved me.

I do sort of love you.

I would love you a lot more if other people loved you, too.

Okay, I need you to leave because you're bumming me out

We're just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies.

Pretty girls, like you and me.

That's why I'm gonna burn your face off.

Ugh! You burned the milk!

Next time, I get you fired, or worse.

Actually, I just want a regular coffee. Those white girl pumpkin spice lattes annoy me.

I like to think of myself, uh, as an investigative reporter.

I had to get a restraining order.

I tend to get a bit passionate about things.

Look, you intentionally led me on.

You kept acting like you liked me just so you could humiliate me.

Enter, ye who dare.

I love a creepy collage.

It's about kicking the living crap out of someone when they disrespect you.

I was just in your room, where I noticed you have a sizeable shrine with evil burning candles, photos of me with my face scratched out and pairs of my stolen panties.

How about I just drown you in it?

Well, of course she's dead! You just burned her face off!

You don't die from getting your face burned off.

There's a dead woman in your kitchen.

I'm going to the authorities.

That's not how I saw it. And my witnesses agree.

You're an awful person.

Who wants cocktails?

How did my life turn into this?

Have you seen the way girls dress on this campus?

I'm sitting in the same office I used to throw bricks into.

You're awful in bed. Are you aware?

I'm gonna take a pair of your panties.

I'm gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here.

Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues.

You loaded a dead body into a freezer.

What are you proposing?

I want to help you with your exposé, secretly feed you info.

You need eyes on the inside.

I don't know what to do with the body.

Are you saying dead bodies don't turn you on?

You are so lame, you know that?

God, I love all that death stuff.

Show me the body.

Show me the dead body.

This blood oath will ensure solidarity among us. We are all related now.

I just Googled "blood oath" and this is what came up.

What does this oath even mean?

I just need you all to not say anything about what happened, and I figured a blood oath was cheaper than buying you all presents.

Wait, what about STDs?

Idiot, you don't get STDs from blood oaths.

You get STDs from dirty toilet seats and drinking the water in Mexico.

Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmitted disease," which means that it's transmitted sexually.

When were you in Mexico?

You know what, forget the blood oath.

I can't stay silent!

I'm calling my mom, and I'm going home.

Okay, Pissy Spacek, you and I have a few differences we need to iron out.

I want you to be one of my minions.

It's the gateway to the top of the heap.

You put on a good front, but you're miserable.

Don't you think any of that has anything to do with the fact that you've created an atmosphere based solely on negativity and raw ambition?

Can we talk for real for a second, please?

I mean, you're so confident without being mean. What antidepressants are you on?

Don't you see that all that's happened isn't a crisis? It's an opportunity.

Yeah, no, I tried. See, I really tried. But all of this flowery, peace-on-Earth crap, it makes me want to puke.

You haven't even seen half of what I'm capable of!

Totally spit in your coffee, bitch.

I don't mean to be a contrarian, but I'm enjoying this.

Is that killer noises or am I hallucinating?

I'm gonna ask one more time, will you speak up?

What can you tell us about the murder?

There's an exodus right now.

The risks are real, but we need to close ranks.

I don't feel comfortable with a man protecting me. It's representative of the patriarchal, post-colonial culture that encourages violence against women.

We buy a pig and feed it the body. Pigs will eat anything.

Don't go skating on those poop lagoons, because if you fall in, you'll drown in the poop and come springtime, there'll be nothing left of your body.

Here's what you should do. Pulverize her teeth, burn off her fingerprints, and disfigure her face. Once her body is unrecognizable, we can create an incision on her inner thigh and drain out all of her bodily fluids. That'll give us more time to deconstruct the body.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot of work. You need a really good food processor, and you run the risk of fouling the plumbing, which is why you should only do it if you know how to clear out meat and bones from a drain pipe.

I'm willing to help in any way possible.

You're obviously a psychopath and those ideas are insane!

Why are you trying to terrify us?

Can I call you Mom?

I feel so loved and protected by all of you.

Actually, it's a new pop culture trend where young women desperately in need of role models call other girls they look up to Mom.

I thought you'd be cool with it.

I mean, I did just give you several ways to dispose of a body.

Okay, fine. Just stop talking.

You are so friggin' creepy!

Someone just mowed off a deaf girl's head in our backyard.

I mean, as you can see, I'm not licensed to carry a sidearm.

Wait, so you don't have a gun?

I have pepper spray. And I have a walkie talkie that I can use to call the police, who do have guns.

What good are you?

Get the hell out of there. Run away, real fast.

Now, I would give you my number, but my cell phone is off right now.

If you want the place clean, maybe you shouldn't have burned the maid's face off.

Don't you wonder what's in there?

People have been whispering about that house for years, that it's haunted, that something really bad happened. I mean, there's no way there isn't some real-life story behind it, right?

I'm gonna have to break in.

I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna get killed in the 30 minutes we make out, right?

Can you stop talking?

You're kind of ruining whatever was good about it.

Please try to understand the situation I'm in.

I don't give a rat's ass about your job.

You know, I find good parenting incredibly attractive.

You're a snoopy little bugger.

Whose bloody clothes are those?

Supposedly, it was a super fun party.

We're all gonna pay for this.

I think it's all crap. Just a myth.

What happened to the baby?

Sometimes I picture myself like Derek Jeter, you know?

I'm gonna choke you out.

There's a serial killer on the loose.

Please don't say you want to choke me.

I'd love having sex with your corpse.

I'm sorry. This isn't working for me.

Well, I sort of am your boyfriend, and I'm protecting you by having sex with you.

No! I don't need a man to protect me.

How could I have wasted this much time?

Is my self-esteem really that low?

I'm sorry. I think we need to take a break.

I need you to leave right now!

You know, it would really help me feel better if I could just crawl into bed with you for a few minutes.

Are you gonna touch my wiener, or you gonna leave my wiener alone?

I'll leave your wiener alone.

Where are your hands?

He has a huge boner!

Why don't you go in there and ogle his big old boner?

Okay, uh, first of all, I'm not gonna go ogle his big old boner, because I'm not gay.

Look, I'm sorry everybody wants to have sex with me. Okay? I can't help that.

I'm hot. Everybody wants to get with this. Women, men, animals in the zoo, plants, probably.

You're gonna have to go right now, 'cause I am breaking up with you.

Excuse me, I broke up with you!

I regretted what I said, and I just wanted to come here and tell you that I am so sorry.

Well, I accept your apology. And now I'm breaking up with you.

Do you know why I'm breaking up with you?

You can't deal with how hot I am.

Sorry, I just broke up with you.

Can you please put some clothes on?

Um, they said, uh, I shouldn't be alone, you know, in case I fall asleep and die.

Can I just get you a robe or something though?

So you're saying I'm the killer?

Okay, this isn't about me thinking you're boyfriend material.

God, I was so gonna go to third base with you tonight, too.

What if we stapled their earlobes?

Private like the parts on a man you like putting in your mouth?

I want to publicly come out as gay on my own.

I mean, you guys have to accept everybody, right?

I actually think that's illegal.

I will come after you, do you understand that? I will destroy you.

I trust you'll consider my offer.

Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot.

You're just, like, super attractive.

Um, well, I was trying to be inconspicuous.

It's better than losing your life.

I have a thing for playlists.

Someone's got a poo belly.

Sweet Yeezus, I don't even know where to begin with you.

Bitch, I'm about to smack you so hard, your tampon's gonna pop out.

I heard screaming.

So you think the serial killer is still up there?

Upstairs to get the killer before he gets away!

You just said that you think the killer is up there, and that's where you want to go?

This is freakin' terrifying!

The killer is in the house! You hear me?

I need my damn inhaler.

What, am I supposed to be scared?

Don't even come out. We plan on getting drunk, and I don't want your bad attitude ruining it.

We're headed down to White Stallion to pick up some sluts, baby!

Yes, okay, I burned her slightly, but stop saying that I killed her.

That was a tragic accident.

I am a kind and devoted and loving friend to all.

I'm not some crazed psychopath.

Maybe you're the killer.

I will not be put on trial.

The truth is we don't know who the killer is, and, yes, I suppose it could be someone in this room.

You want to go first?

I banged, like, 50 chicks.

What took you so long?

[drowninginblox]

Thrown into It

Part: 1,2,3,4,5, 6, 7, 8

Part 9: Titles at Momo’s

How the fuck did I get here? We were just going over math damn it. Why did we have to train my powers? It’s not like I’m gonna be a pro hero! I’m not main character material after all. Have you seen what I'm packing? All bone and fat. No muscle to this bitch. “Y/n! Cmon! Keep your head out of the clouds!” Ochako called from the front. I can only nod my head and try not to faint. Right now me and the main character gang are walking to Momo’s house. Apparently this is an impromptu sleepover. Momo told us that she’ll cover everything we needed so now we’re just walking. Don't worry the cast dragged me to the local train station before hand and Inko was cool with this somehow. What even is this? “Y/n? Are you alright?” I hear before Tenya- fuck I mean Iida nudge me. It’s so weird acting like a stranger to people you already know. “Oh, um.. Y-yeah just a little.. I don't know how to explain it? Anxious?” I try to look at him but his straight laced demeanor and overall physic is intimidating in itself. “There is nothing to worry about though! Surely Midoryia has told you that we are trustworthy!” He declares while chopping his hand around. I try to hold in my laugh but fail miserably. “Did I do something funny?!” He shouts defensively while chopping more. Fuck its just as funny in person-. I feel eyes fall on me as I just keep laughing. “I-oh holly crap- fuckin give me a minute holy shit-” I takes deep breaths while the group mumbles something about me being weird. “S-sorry- Just.. The fucking hand chops kill me- you remind me of C3PO..” I whip a tear from my eye but when I focus back on the group they all look clueless as to what I was saying. “Um.. Y’know? Star Wars?” I prompt but all look just as clueless. Does this universe not have star wars? “What's that?” Tsuyu asks with a small kero. I couldn't only stare. “Just the greatest movie franchise to grace the planet! Yknow- fuckin-” I cover my mouth and inhale deeply. “Luke, I am your father!” They all glance at each other. “Y/n is it something from your home?” I feel my eye twitch but give up. “Yeah it is, and it's amazing.” I sigh. “What might it be about?” Tokoyami asks. His eyes widened at my overwhelming joy. Midoryia chuckles and smiles along with me. “Now you did it-” Before tonight Izuku made the mistake of asking me who my favorite hero was.

The rest of the journey was me basically explaining all of star wars to them without giving the major spoilers. At some points they had to smack me since in my excitement I was babbling nonsense. Ochako, Tsuyu, and Momo seemed to be the most invested in it from what I could tell. “Does the princess ever go home?” Ochoko questions. Momo interrupts me with a pointer finger. “There it is!”  She announces at the sight of the gates. She runs up ahead of us and speaks into the microphone. Not even two minutes later and the gate opens up to us, two white golf carts not too far behind. “Dude how rich are you..?” I mumble into the open air. She only laughs. I turned to Ochoko, then to Izuku, both of whom shook to the core over how long the driveway was. “My goodness! You have golf carts too Yaoyorozo?” Tenya acquires when two while golf carts pull up to the gate. The fuck even is this bull shitery? “Only for when I’m lazy.” She defends before hopping on the back of one of the carts. We all follow suit and within a few minutes we are in front of a behemoth of a mansion. “Welcome home everyone!” She cheers. The carts come to stop at her front door and holy fuck I am too intimidated to move. 

Everyone gets out of the carts while me and Ochoko take in the sight that is Momo’s home. It was larger than my house, that's for sure. It was also weastern, made of what looked like marble with stone accents near the front door and side of the house. The windows were large and peaking from the roof were two brick chimneys. “Are you two going to stay there all night?” Tenya called with what looked like a cocky smile. “Oh shush Mr. My brother is a pro hero!” I called playfully. His cheeks flashes a bright red and turns to Midorya while I slowly get up, help a dazed Ochoko in the process, and make my way to the front door. Izuku was mumbling about every small detail while Tsu and Tokoyami were notably quiet through this whole ordeal. Momo turned to us and smiled. “My mother and Father are out of town, visiting friends and the likes, so we have the whole house to ourselves!” She rings the doorbell and not even a second later, it opens to a maid. I could feel my face heat up at the sight of any of the main characters in that outfit like that, even though it wasn't that revealing. “Y/n are you okay?” Tokoyami asks about my flushed face but I just cough it off. “Oh my! Are you catching something?” Momo asks before turning to the maid. “Please get them some hot chocolate and hot tea! Also prepare my room with extra blankets, clothes, and pillows.” The young woman bows before walking away from us. “You didn't have to-! I'm not sick!” I tried but I was silenced by Momo rushing to me and covering my forehead with her hand. I jumped at how close we were. “You're burning up! C'mon! You can have a guest room.” She makes some medical masks for the group but Tsu backs me up. “Momo I think you’re overreacting.. Kero.” But she doesn't stop to hear reason, only dragging me through her maze of a house and shoving me into a room. “There should be a maid coming. Once she’s here she’ll give you something to wear.” And before I could say anything she closed the door. What the fuck. Why the fuck. I thought this was the training arch not the filler episode. I swear to god if one of the boys walks in on me changing I will murder. 

Thank god that wasn't the case. A maid got me some silk jammies and directed me to another room. It wasn't until I walked in did I realize it was Momo’s room. And holy crap was she a hero fan damn- I’m talking hero’s of all shapes and sizes. Ethnicities and races. Genders of all kinds. Some of the posters were black and white while others were neon and vibrant. All were framed and signed on the wall parallel to the door. “Holy-” I started but Momo caught me. “Y/n! It's good to see you out first!” She says just loud enough from her king size canopy bed. Her bedroom- in length- was the size of me and Midoryia’s rooms connected and then some. On the wall to my right were instruments, a desk, and cubicles for storage while the rest of the room was empty. Well scratch that, there was a rug. But it was small and a bright white, a needed contrast with the equally white was and dark floors. “Yeah.. um.. How do you know my size..?” I ask while motioning to my pjs. She laughs lightly. “Cmon! Come sit on my bed!” OKAY just leave me in the dark on that creepy fact then. Wordlessly I wander to the bed and take a sit right beside her. “So Y/n, tell me about yourself.” I glance up at her and play with my hair. “I'm not that interesting, trust me.” She waves a hand dismissively. “Oh please! There must be more to you than your quirk! I know I’m more than mine!” She assures. I kick my legs and think for a moment. “I'm a big nerd. I love fantastical worlds, and possibilities that probably won't happen. For better or worse.” I say with a nervous chuckle. “Really?” She asks. I nod and humor her. “YEah- I uh.. I write, draw, sing, creative stuff mostly. But I don’t think I’m that creative honestly.” She loosens her posture. “Well then, prove it!” I jumped at her request. “O-Oh um- I don't think-” 

“Madam, the other guests are ready!” A maid calls after a knock. Momo sighs “Let them in then!” With that the maid from before lets in the rest of the group, all in t-shirts and pajama pants/ shorts. Aside from Iida. He has a classic set of pajamas and a nightcap to go with the ensemble. “Thank you so much for the pj’s Momo!” Ochoko says with a smile, rushing up to us and hugging her in gratitude. “Oh it’s no problem at all.” “What were you guys talking about kero?” Tsuyu prompts. “Oh-” Momo starts but i cut her off. “Oh nothing interesting!” She glances at me and lightly slaps my arm. “Nonsense. Y/n was just telling me about their hobbies. Apparently they write and do art!” Tokoyami perks at this. “What do you write L/n?” I scratch the back of my neck “Ahahahaha- wouldn’t you like to know..” Tenya’s eyes narrow. “Certainly nothing unsavory? Right Y/n?” Fuck his glasses are reflecting light- f u c k. “Oh nooooo! Nothing like that. Mostly self indulgent romantic crap, some angst-“ Izuku gasped. “Y/n! You write angst!?” Of course Midorya’s the only one who knows that I’m talking about. “Strange. Why is your face a rose then?” Tokoyami teases. His tone says otherwise but that knowing glance is dangerous. “Ahahahaha- Tokoyami you jokester-” I get up close to him and say through my teeth. “You cant out me like this man-! Not here!” Over my shoulder I hear Ochoko laugh. “You remind me Jiro-chan, Y/n. She always gets flustered like this when she’s embarrassed.” I back up from Tokoyami and turn to the group. “Wait what?”

“Oh! You don't know Jiro, but she's so smart and talented.” Ochoko says. “Oh yeah, I know her.” I say casually but when I see Momo’s eyes widen I try to recover. “Me and my dad saw her on the TV. Y'know during UA’s annual sports festival. She had dangles on her ear lobes right?” I scratch the back of my neck for a moment to sell it. Thankfully Momo took the bait because she slowly nodded. “That’s her. She is very smart. Don’t underestimate her when you meet her.” Tyu nods. “What was her score on the midterms?”  Midorya hums for a moment. “I don't remember if she told us, but she was up there in ranking..” Before Izuku could go on a mumbling tangent, Iida inquired on the subject. “Seventh in class ranking I think.” The group hums in agreement before turning back to me. “What were you on about before Y/n?” I think a moment before remembering. “Oooh!” I snapped my fingers. I exhale a little at my idiocy. “I just forgot that you guys use titles normally. I was just a little confused.” Tenya’s glasses brightened in the light. Crap. “Shouldn’t you have researched on Japanese culture before you came to Japan Y/n?” He gets up close to me as he says that. “Uhh well.. yasee- I was kind of in a rush to get here and I don't have a phone anymore.. My dad thought it would be a great idea to take away my phone before I go to a whole ‘nother country soooo..” Great job Y/n. Nothing like feeding into the idiot father trope. Dad would be so proud of your creative genius. “And I've been so busy with school and my room..”

“Wow.” the group mumbles. “YEeeeah.. Not the brightest bulb.” I mumble dryly. “Well, surely we can teach you a few things.” Midorya counters. “No one is hopeless unless they don't bother to try! And you want to try don't you?” He says with that signature baby boy smile. I laugh a little at that bright fire in his eyes. That want to help is gonna make him a great hero one day. “Of course! If you guys can teach me that is.” I looked over at the group. Collectively they nod. Que the anime montage.

I was woken up by Midoya at twelve. Am not pm mind you. Momo was kicking us out. “I’m sorry! My parents just called and said they were on their way back home as we speak!” She defended sadly as me and Midorya were finishing up getting our shoes back on. Apparently because of my sleeping habits, Midorya had to watch all of his other friends leave until it was just him and Momo alone in her house together. “Dude, it's okay. Calm down.” I said with a slightly worried smile. Midorya was patiently waiting for me outside with a new duffle bag of his clothes for the night before and some new ones that Momo gave him this morning. “It was an honor staying here for the night Yaoyorozo-sama.” I say with a bow once both my shoes are on. She gasps, a light blush covering her cheeks from the title. But she smiles nonetheless. “It is an honor to meet you too, Y/n-san. And please, call me Momo.” She says with a smile, bowing after. We both rise and I smile back to her before walking out the door. “Y/n-chan, what took you so long?” Midorya asked. “Nothin. Just telling Momo thank you. And chan? Really?” He laughs. “What? Don't like being babied?”

“Oh screw you.”

[purplesurveys]

823

do you know anyone who has two children with the same name? Yeah, it’s common-ish here. Some parents would give their kids a certain common name. An example would be my friend Blanch, who told me she and her cousins all have ‘Marie’ as second names.

have you ever read twilight? Yeah, but I loved the movies more. I liked the books as an 11 year old, but the more I grew up the more I found Stephenie Meyer’s writing to be meh – dialogue was super cheesy, she painted Bella to be such a horny 17 year old, and she used the same adjectives and adverbs throughout the four books. They did kick it up a notch for the movies which is why I love them a lot more; and they didn’t fuck around with the soundtracks either.

when was the last time you went miniature golfing? I’ve never done that. I don’t think we have places for that here either? lol Filipinos aren’t too big on golf.

how many followers do you have? A little over 180.

what do you get complimented the most on? Mostly on my skills – I get compliments on my writing, copyediting, and public speaking. I also get ones on my outfits and overall figure.

what’s a song you like from a genre you hate? Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

if you had twin girls what would you name them? I’ve never planned on this cause twins don’t run in my family, but the first pair of names I thought of that sounded nice was Alessandra and Cassandra.

what kind of sunglasses do you have? I don’t have a pair that I use often, honestly. I don’t like how my vision turns blackish or brownish whenever I wear them.

what kind of underwear do you wear? Right now I have on a yellow cotton one.

what do you think of dreadlocks? Wear them only if you’re allowed to.

what kind of condoms do you use? I don’t.

do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Years old.

what is your favorite scent for candles? I don’t use candles. I’d probs invest on them if I had extra money to spend but for now I don’t, so. I imagine liking sweeter scents though, nothing nature-ish.

do you have any personality disorders? I’ve always had an inkling that I have BPD, but I’ve never gotten myself checked.

do you have any special talents? It’s more of a skill than a talent but I’m quite good at memorizing stuff. Whole paragraphs, a constitution, items on a list, speeches, etc. It’s why I find memorization-based subjects to be more fun, like history and biology haha.

do you shave your arms? I shave under them, but not the whole arm. < Yeah, same.

what did you last take a picture of? It’s a photo of me and Cooper. I wanna do that thing where you take photos of you and your dog once a month in their first year to see how much they’ll grow, so I had taken the photo for the month of June.

what do you dip your fries in?   Mayonnaise.

did you ever have the new chocolate skittles? Omg so like M&Ms? Hahaha. I haven’t though, and never even knew they made those.

has one of your good friends ever moved away? For sure. A lot of Filipinos migrate for greener pastures. Andi moved to somewhere in New Zealand, Angel to Toronto, Aubrey to California, and now Arlan’s gonna have to move to New York since he got accepted to Columbia...

have you ever played bloons on gamefudge.com? I have no idea what this question just said.

what kind of water do you drink? I dunno...plain? We get our water from a water refilling station in the nearby village.

what color car are you when you play the game of life? I’ve never played that before.

would you rather have a zune or ipod? I had an iPod. I’m not sure I know what a Zune is.

which hair color do you find the ugliest? Ugly is a harsh word, but I personally wouldn’t dye my hair bright yellow.

what pisses you off more than anything? Boomers who throw a fit every time someone disagrees with them or if a younger person stands up to them.

would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? It wouldn’t bother me.

what celebrity do you think is really, really ugly? Honest to whatever-god-exists-out-there, I’ve never looked at a celebrity and had my brain say they’re ugly. Noah Centineo pisses me off though, but it’s solely because of the fact that he’s famous.

did you ever play mash when you were little? No.

if you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? Angela.

[deadendtracks]

ok, tommy and golf! 

this is gonna be really stream of consciousness. but there’s a lot going on in that like, thirty second dialog-free golf scene and i of course have thought too much about it.

anyway i joked that i love how angry golf makes tommy, but of course that’s very much simplifying what’s going on, mostly because being angry at golf in general amuses me for a bunch of reasons. so here’s the attempt at more serious thoughts:

1. Class Issues

Golf! Totally not a working class sport, right? I’m... possibly wrong about that in a non-U.S. context but at least in the U.S. it requires a minimum of owning a bunch of expensive golf equipment and also a membership/fee to access the golf course, plus a lot of free time to spend doing the actual golfing. Golf courses themselves, if not public property, tend to be country club type places where the riff-raff is not allowed, and many of those places tend to historically also be quite racist and anti-semitic to boot. And that’s not getting into the land use issues!

But anyway, Tommy’s goal of moving up class-wise definitely emphasized a lot of the material trappings of wealth starting in s3, with his giant house and his paintings and his cars and maids, etc. Golf is probably part of that, it’s what the upper classes do for leisure, so if he’s going on holiday, he’s trying to do what someone of his standing should be doing, which is Golf, apparently. He’s even got the outfit. Tommy’s got a lot of internalized class issues, possibly more than anyone else in his family, which is another whole meta, but...

Anyway I’m again oversimplifying, in the US golf is definitely a middle class kind of thing for a lot of people. But! In the context of s4, it could also be a tool for Tommy -- he’s become an Industrialist, he’s bought up factories, he’s probably had to do more networking with Birmingham’s respectable men, and I’m assuming much as is true today, alot of that kind of thing might have happened on a golf course. It’s ambiguous whether or not Tommy’s actually been golfing before the scene at the end of s4, but possibly, given Tommy, he was golfing not just because It’s What You Do On Holiday, but because he felt he needed to get good at it for business reasons, and therefore was able to justify it to himself. All of this is total extrapolation/headcanon, of course.

And given one of the big themes of s3-4 was summarized via that line from Jessie Eden about how Tommy had discovered the steels sheets that separate class from class, some of the residue of that experience might be lingering in his anger at golf itself, even as he’s obviously trying it in earnest and still desires to be part of the upper classes (internalized class issues, as mentioned!). It’s not like he’s giving up his giant house, you know? But even so, he knows he’ll never be actually accepted on the same level, no matter how many factories he buys. 

2. PTSD

Yeah. I mean I think about 90% of the golf scene is definitely about Tommy’s PTSD. I also jokingly tag any gifset showing that scene in s4 where Arthur announces Tommy should take a holiday THE FACE OF A MAN OVERJOYED AT THE IDEA OF A HOLIDAY but seriously, his face there. I’m not sure whether he knew exactly what was going to happen (“I know what this is”) or just had some kind of unconscious inkling, but. Tommy came back from the war and basically never... stopped. He apparently almost immediately threw himself into conquering Billy Kimber and tells Polly at the end of s1 that she won’t have to pray for them all again after this, but by s2 she’s already clear that “after the danger passes” is not a state that is ever going to actually come to pass. Anyway a much longer meta could tackle all of that through the seasons, but the bottom line is Tommy’s never really come back from the war, and a big part of that is the need to keep himself very busy, and the need to have something to fight against, pretty much literally, which is why i think he picks a fight with Jessie Eden and the unions before he even knows about the mafia.  

So anyway, after like... 6 years of being back and 5 years at war before that (so, if you’re keeping count, basically 11 years nonstop adrenaline-as-coping-mechanism) he, for whatever reason, decides to go along with Arthur’s suggestion and take a holiday. But only after shooting Alfie, and that’s a whole other tangent. And then there’s that mysterious 3 month gap. Was he on holiday that whole time? It seems like it, given what Arthur says when he comes back, but it’s unclear from the episode. Regardless, the first real “on holiday” thing we’re shown is Tommy looking a lot dissociative while he waits to take his turn at the golfing, before he angrily tosses his golf club and stalks off. 

SO what set him off? 

Again, all speculation and interpretation but there’s probably a lot of different factors. For one, there’s no danger in golfing. Something that’s sort of hard to explain is how you can actually get *more* anxious when in supposedly “relaxing” situations, in the absence of (real or perceived) danger. And one manifestation of anxiety is anger/fight. 

It’s a wide open space, for two. It’s probably quiet, for three. In the next scene, he clearly has a full blown flashback while fishing, probably triggered by the sound of nearby gunfire from a hunt, but he hears the whistle of artillery and dives into the water to take cover. It’s possible he’s already hearing things at the golf course, *because* it’s quiet. Even if he’s not, the quiet allows his mind to focus on everything he’s been trying to avoid by being so busy, including Grace’s and John’s murders, etc. Stuff he hasn’t dealt with. 

Another element might have been the older men who were laughing and having a good time golfing before him, and... well, he’s got a lot of rage at the people who sent him to war, and might have seen these guys as part of that, or at least as having been too old (and rich) to have served.

And the Post in PTSD is also part of this. Tommy definitely shows a lot of symptoms even when he’s keeping himself very occupied with his various coping mechanisms-as-business-plans, but even his normal life is fairly violent/traumatic, so a holiday is even more Post. If that makes sense. It’s why everything he’s managed to mostly sort of control gets exacerbated. 

I joked that sky-diving would probably be a better holiday activity for him than golfing and fishing, but it’s only half joking, because it’s the very “relaxation” of these two activities that require a sort of calm, quiet focus that are exactly the conditions/state that is going to lead him to a breakdown.

I feel like I haven’t quite articulated everything I wanted to about this tiny scene, but I’ve also rambled on a lot, so I’ll stop here.

[atomic-r0x]

Florencia attends Maite’s birthday party

The headboard was hitting the wall like a metronome, keeping count of the things happening between its silk sheets, while the rest of the mansion was in complete, unperturbed silence, an innocent witness to the dirty things behind the bedroom’s closed doors. Good thing Oscar was out for his weekly golf round with his business partners, and the maids were all coming in little before noon, because there really was no way you could muffle the sounds Florencia and Julio were making, regardless of the closed doors and shut windows.

She was gripping at the edge of the bed for dear life, her back arched like a feline, body shivering with sensation. Did Florencia ever feel bad about using Julio as his boy toy? Never. Besides, poor soul was so innocent he could have sworn they were having a cliché, Romeo and Juliet sort of affair, because she couldn’t elope without staining her reputation. Her fame was his fame, that’s what he kept repeating, as a sign of reassurance their romance would never surface, though they were almost never seen together in the same place.

She was convinced any other with a husband like Oscar would have done the same, find herself a man ready to adore and fuck the sense out of her, to compensate for the sickening dullness of a marriage she never desired. He might have been a good man to her, treating her like the queen she was, making her lavish in expensive gifts and plane tickets, but this was far from love, and every once in a while, she even wondered why they were still playing pretend. Despite Oscar’s deep, honest feelings, she could have divorced him anytime, filing up some scandalous papers that would affect little but his image as the trophy husband.

They came loudly, like they always did. Fumbling between the sheets with Julio often felt like war, but then again, it was part of the agreement, Florencia’s conditions for the affair – she had enough tender, supposedly romantic intercourse with her husband, she didn’t need any of that outside her marriage too. Like he always did, Julio finished by placing hot kisses on her chest and stomach, before rolling over to the side, his chest rapidly raising up and down. Flo didn’t wait a second longer before rolling out of bed to pull on the thin silk garment she wore in bed and head straight to the shower.

“What are you doing?” she startled at the sight of Julio stepping inside the spacious bathroom with that doltish look on his face she thought so characteristic of him.

“I just… Thought I’d keep you company” he replied, almost unsure whether he should dare to in the first place. “While you’re showering, I mean.”

Florencia turned her back at him and carried on washing herself the white foam covering her body like a shield. “Well I really don’t have that much time left, and the maids are coming soon, so you’d better be going” she spoke without hesitation, like he’d asked to be filled in on her schedule that day. She turned to look over her shoulder in his direction only when he straightened his back and headed back to the door, lingering in front of it a bit. “I’ll call you tonight, Oscar’s leaving tomorrow for a few days…” Her words had an unbelievable effect on Julio, his face brightening up like a child’s. She was fueling him with hope and Florencia knew that all too well – this was, after all, her first weapon of choice.

“Alright, I’ll be waiting” he replied cheerfully, before placing his hand on the door knob. “Have fun tonight, you’re going to be the most beautiful of all women there” he added before leaving, and Florencia couldn’t help but smile at herself in satisfaction. ‘I know’ she thought, her petty heart fluttering at the mere thought of Maite seeing her dress.

. . .

Even Florencia’s driver couldn’t believe that he was actually taking them to Maite’s birthday party, but her husband had asked him not to comment on the matter, so they drove in complete silence, with the radio turned off, the sound of traffic being the only thing filling the air. Between checking emails, Oscar kept stealing glances at Florencia, whose jaw was clenched as she looked out the window, mouth shut and hands in her lap, a position so tense he wondered if they were going to survive the night in El Sol.

“Flo…” he began, but just as the last vowel escaped his lips, she pierced him with her ice-cold eyes, as if threatening him not to say anything, if he didn’t want to be a dead man walking. “Just, go easy on her, okay? It’s not her fault.”

Florencia let out a loud groan and further clenched her jaw, so tight her teeth might have broken. She took a deep breath and was about to give a comeback when the driver stopped the car. “We’re here” he spoke shyly, afraid he might have been caught in the middle of one of their fights again. Poor him, the things he’d heard in that car between Florencia and Oscar could badly stain their power-couple reputation, but he knew better than to spill the beans.

Oscar nodded and thanked him, then got out of the car to open Florencia’s door, helping her step out of the car. After checking herself out in the reflection of the immaculate black car, Florencia turned to face her husband, sighing only barely before she placed her hand in the hook of his arm, proceeding to head towards the club’s entrance.

There weren’t many people there yet, but then again, they were only thirty minutes left, so she couldn’t really rejoice at the idea of people boycotting Maite’s birthday. She did a quick scan of the people who had arrived, and was unimpressed by the majority of them, apart from a very special couple she’d had her eyes on for quite a bit: Marco and Lisa.

“Florencia, Oscar!” Maite’s fake I’m-playing-the-good-girl-now voice rang over the music, and Flo was brought back to reality. She hugged her step-sister only because the photographer had suddenly popped up, quick to shoot a candid with the two Alvarez daughters, a half-hearted hug that could have won a record for the world’s quickest embrace, but it seemed to have been good enough for the guy with the camera, since he left immediately after the blitz lit the entry hall for a second. Too bad he left exactly when Florencia wanted him so badly to be there, to capture the look on her step-sister’s face when she saw her outfit, how obviously underdressed she was compared to Flo. “I’m so glad you’ve made it” Maite finally added, her hand in Oscar’s as he bowed a little to kiss it, his chivalry something that had won Francisco Alvarez’s heart from day one.

“Of course, we couldn’t miss this” Oscar spoke and took the other handle of the giftbag in his hand, so that both Florencia and himself would have the huge ‘honor’ of handing her the present. A collective ‘happy birthday followed’, and then they separated, as if relieved they’d done their part and could now carry on with whatever it was the preferred doing. “Don’t you think, maybe this one time, you’ve sort of overdone it with the outfit?” Oscar asked hesitantly, almost afraid of what this reaction might cause in his wife, but Florencia didn’t bother replying, settling for another death stare before heading off to the bar, on her own.

“Well, well, well, are you ever anything else than a prom queen?” she hear a familiar voice coming from behind her, and Flo could have sworn her heart stopped once she turned around to see who it was.

“Marco, you’ve known me for quite a bit, you shouldn’t be expecting anything else” she replied with the most satisfied of smiles, placing her hand on the crook of her waist as if posing, before letting out a small smile.

“Let me order your drink, what do you say?” he spoke, his characteristic left corner of his mouth smile steady on his perfectly neat five o’clock shadow. Leaning over the bar counter on his right elbow, her ordered in the easiest, calmest way possible a classic Martini for her, and a glass of whiskey on the rocks for himself, before turning his eyes back to her. They stood like that for a while, and if time stopped right then and there, Florencia would have never regretted being frozen in this position, endlessly staring into the beautiful orbs of a man she had loved so dearly as a teenager.

“It’s good to see you back” she finally spoke, a soft smile settled on her lips as she continued looking at him, though he was now preoccupied by taking the two glasses from the counter and handing her the Martini.

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty good to be back. America tends to get boring at times, but San Cristobal? Never” he joked, of course letting out that majestic laugh of his, that glorious string of sounds that complimented his hoarse voice more than anything else. “You have met Lisa, haven’t you?” Marco asked after they clicked their drinks and took a sip, nodding his head in his wife’s direction.

It took real strength for Florencia to keep a casual, bright face at the sound of that… woman. Lisa was one of the worst news she’d ever received in her life, after finding out that she was pregnant and hearing about Marco being forced by his parents to leave for America. She gulped really hard, all the while displaying a characteristic smiled, the type Lupe could have called bullshit from miles away. “Yeah, I actually did meet Lisa at my birthday party!” she spoke matter-of-factly, nursing the tall stem in her hand.

And then, Florencia thought she might just die. They were about to head in Lisa’s direction when a much younger voice called from behind. “Oh my God, that is the most beautiful dress in the entire world!” It was Alejandra. Out of all people on the whole invitations list, she out of any other citizen in San Cristobal had to compliment Florencia’s dress exactly when she was talking to Marco, the man of her dreams and the father of her daughter. Alejandra had just walked in on one of the few moments of privacy Marco and Florencia, her unbeknownst parents, had managed to squeeze in ever since his return in Spain. Karma, what a bitch.

“Oh, you’re so sweet. I’m glad you like it” Florencia finally turned around to reply, doing a little twirl to show the dress’s movement, to her delight Marco clapping his hands at the small show she was putting up. “You’re not looking bad yourself either” she spoke, although really, it was hard to imagine Alejandra had not inherited even the tiniest bit of wardrobe extravaganza from her mother, being dressed up in a nice but tame outfit, something that she probably thought wouldn’t outshine the birthday girl. Such a polite kid, ugh.

“I… I don’t think we’ve met before?” Marco spoke, his smiling confused face making Florencia’s knees melt, but at the same time wonder when, in her thirty-one years, had she ever signed up for this masquerade. For fuck sake, he was Alejandra’s father. Of course, they hadn’t met before, but this was just too ridiculous to bear. “I am Marco Delgado” he then added, extending his hand to shake hers. “So, how did you two meet?” He asked after Alejandra introduced herself, and Florencia wanted to puke or to burst into hysteric laughter.

“I’m actually an intern at Mrs. Alvarez’s design studio” Alejandra spoke with pride, flashing a big smile at Marco, but especially at Florencia.

“Oh, I’ve told you to call me Flo” she spoke with an amused smile on her face, although she really hadn’t told that, she was Florencia, or Mrs. Florencia to the newer staff members, but never in her life had she allowed Alejandra to call her Flo, which only made her cringe now internally, thinking of all the wrong situations where her daughter might be calling her that.

Maybe someone out there really did love and care for her, because just as Marco showed interest in the internship, asking further questions about the job and such, Florencia caught sight of Lupe. This was her salvation, and god only knows she was in urgent need of it. She excused herself and left with a small pat on Marco’s shoulder, involuntarily making him watch her go for a few more moments before turning back to the conversation, and made her way straight to her best friend. The grateful grin on her face slowly faded once she got up close to Lupe, seeing her actual outfit. “I thought we agreed on outshining Maite, why the hell are you wearing… this?” she asked, analyzing her best friend for head to toe before crossing her arms, sighing a little in disagreement.

“Babe, you are literally wearing a dress that could as well as be a wedding gown. I think you’re doing a good enough job for the both of us.” Lupe replied, and Florencia just couldn’t help but smile at her words – this woman knew her all too well, had a vocabulary specifically designed for Flo. It was a matter of seconds before her attention moved from the disappointing yet undeniably pretty dress to the bag Lupe was holding, shamelessly shoving her fingers inside it to see what was inside.

“What’s that?” she asked, a curiosity mixed with extreme pettiness flooding her all of a sudden.

“It’s my gift for Maite” the woman before her replied, but to the insistencies of her best friend’s unsatisfied frown, she carried on. “I didn’t have time to buy her one so I just took some of the products from our up-coming collection.”

“The ones that haven't been tested yet!?” Florencia’s eyes began to shine pettily before adding enthusiastically, “Will it leave a big rash on her face and destroy it completely so she will be forced to live a life in seclusion away from the public eye and not bother me or my family ever again!?”

“Sadly… no.” Lupe replied, causing the large smile on Florencia’s face to suddenly disappear and be replaced by a childlike pout. “But, it might leave her an allergic reaction.”

“Well, I guess that’s fine too” Flo simply shrugged, and was about to take her best friend towards the bar when Ana Vega approached them, though she seemed to be literally ignoring Lupe, and focus on Florencia instead.

“What is your problem? Like… What’s your problem?” she tried to speak fluently but boy, was she tipsy from her drink, the way her mouth and hands moved spoiling her alcohol resistance. Too perplexed to speak, she just frowned at Ana in disgust and shock until she walked away, as if filled up with her shit, and Florence would have died to pull her by the hair and make her understand – once and for all, that she was the head bitch in charge, and that she was going to be the one laughing when Maite fucks everyone up with her demented vengeful game.

“Oh. My. God” was the only thing Lupe could say, both still stunned by the disrespectful approach. “Well, that was something” she shrugged, chuckling lightly as if announcing that she was going to change the subject, or do something to life Florencia’s mood, but to be honest, it was far too late for that.

“I need to make a phone call” she spoke and stormed outside, not without passing by the cloakroom to get her coat, leaving the party without even bothering to give Oscar a head’s up, simply texting him ‘I am out of here’ as soon as she got inside the car and told the driver where she was going.

“Hello?” Antonia finally picked up the phone, and Florencia could hear the reality show she was watching at one of the full HD televisions in the house.

“Mom, you’re not going to believe what just happened. I’m on my way, get a bottle of whiskey and some ice, the most impossible thing happened to me just now and I might kill someone” Florencia spoke, her voice angry and seriously raging, her pride itching her skin in the need for revenge.

“Is it that little bitch Maite and her clan?” Antonia replied, muting the television, her attention suddenly caught by her daughter’s words.

“Yes, and it’s insane, mom. I don’t know how these people can even stand themselves, it’s ridiculous” Flo replied, her other hand forming a tight fist that she gently hit the car seat beside her with.

“Poor thing. Okay, I got you, let me go get the ice” Antonia spoke and hung up, leaving Florencia to spend the rest of her car ride biting at her lips furiously, keeping herself really hard from not crying in anger and frustration. Oh, Ana, what a fool you were to ally with Maite. Just wait and see.