#i love that they have a nuclear reactor in the batcave

[protect-namine]

so I've been watching episodes of batman 1966 every now and then and it's so charming and funny to me that by the end of each cliffhanger episode I usually would say "same bat-time, same bat-channel" along with the narrator

today it was a catwoman episode and of course she captured batman and kidnapped robin and there was gonna be the cliffhanger. I was getting ready to say the usual end-of-episode spiel but then I lost my mind when they changed the ending to "same cat-time, same cat-channel" like omggg they changed it!!!

[martyrbat]

i still think batman 66 is so funny for making the first storyline have bruce getting drugged and shake a mean cape with some woman, falling briefly in love with one of the people that kidnapped his kid, her fucking dying because the batcave has a nuclear reactor, and then give a slight speech about them being two ships who passed in the night and how her death will haunt him before ending the episode with him helping dick with his algebra. like nothing is going to top that introduction to a character

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter.

This week is inspired by one of the greatest new wave, punk, and dance-rock bands of the late 20th century…. ZZ TOP! –more specifically their car, the 1933 Ford Coupe, the ZZ Mobile! 

Aries 

You get to be matched up with the inglorious vehicle that was called, “A Mailbox On Wheels”. In Europe it was the “Zastava Koral”, otherwise known in North America as… The Yugo. Yes it was built in Yugoslavia, but it started its life being designed in Italy for Fiat. And just like the Yugo of old, and there are very FEW Old Yugos, just because you aren’t doing well now, doesn’t mean you don’t have a history to be proud of. This week, learn to speak in sign language. Not Italian Sign Language! 

Taurus 

You’re older than people think, but still got plenty of pep in you if you’re given a little extra work. In 1984’s “Ghostbusters”, Ecto-1 was 25 years old - and you looked better at that age. All you’ll need to get spruced up are knee replacements, hangnail removal, a pedicure, hot-oil massage, new glasses, gastric bypass, tush implants... maybe a new diet, also vocal lessons, a little psychological counseling.... And you’ll be right as rain!

Gemini 

When we say “Smokey and the Bandit”, you probably think of the 1976 Pontiac Trans Am and its gold firebird painted on the front. But you know who was more important? The Snowman and Fred in their Kenworth W900A short-frame semi barreling down the road, smashing that last 4 miles of an 18-hundred mile trip like an absolute legend! And just like Bandit-2, this week you’ll be finishing every project at the last minute in class!

Cancer Moon-Child 

Speaking of tractor-trailers, what’s THE MOST iconic tractor-trailer you can think of? That’s right; Optimus Freekin’ Prime! In the 80’s he was a  Freightliner FL86, but in the 2007 live-action movie he was changed to a Peterbilt 379. Now, a year earlier, in the movie “Cars”, Lightning calls out for “Mac”, but he mistakes Jerry for his ride. Jerry is a Peterbilt 352. So is Jerry the ancestor of Optimus Prime? OH! Right! Your ‘Scope. Uhm… Watch more older movies.

Leo 

The only way the 1948 Ford Deluxe Convertible from Grease could fly was either in a dream sequence or off a cliff. And considering it was refurbished by a bunch of high school gearheads in their school’s automotive shop class, I think we know which one is more likely. This week let loose all your inhibitions when you dream and fly that car into the skies. It’ll be your one true escape from the rest of the crap going on around you. 

Virgo 

Launched in 1976, the Lotus Esprit S1 wasn’t much of a splash… until it was driven underwater by James Bond in The Spy Who Loved Me. And just like the Esprit you won’t show off how good you are until you’re shoved, unwillingly, underwater. In other words, take a shower this weekend!.

Libra 

Semi-Sentient, capable of driving itself, with a love of playing practical jokes, skipping across water, and armed with super-speed, shooting oil, your car, with California License Plate “OFP 857” wasn’t a racer, but it beat every car it was pitted against. This week, check your biases - because we’re referring to “Herbie the Love Bug”, and not the Knight Industries Two-Thousand.

Scorpio 

You’re being paired with, arguably, THE singularly Most Iconic of iconic vehicles: the 1955 Ford Lincoln Futura; otherwise known to Millions upon Millions as THE Batmobile. Sadly you’re not nearly as easy to remember, but let’s be fair… compared to that car, who is? This week your memory is going to be sketchy, so start putting labels on anything and everything you think might be important. Things like the Atomic Reactor Pile in the Batcave… YEAH! The Batcave had a nuclear reactor in it! Meaning if The Penguin had grabbed a Geiger Counter, it would have been Game Over! Kinda like how Lex Luthor followed Superman in 1980’s “Superman II”.

Sagittarius 

Just to piss off Scorpio, YOU’RE getting paired with the OTHER Batmobile, The Tumbler. Just like that… “car”? –you’re not as flashy, or as visible, or as tricked out with signage, but you are dark, got an unmistakable growl just before you pounce, and my… GOD! You can bite through someone that’s in your way! This week embrace your moods and enjoy the nightlife on your own terms. And, yes - capes after 8pm is a Fashion Do. 

Capricorn 

Back in the day the DeLorean DMC-12 from “Back To The Future” already had a checkered image. John DeLorean was charged with cocaine trafficking to earn some money for his failing company, but was found not guilty. Hence the joke; Why should you never drive behind a DeLorean? Because it keeps inhaling the whte lines in the middle of the road. This week you’re going to be dealing with someone making bad comments about you. Start thinking up disarming jokes now..  

Aquarius 

Your mood is gunna suck this week. For that reason alone you’re head-to-bumper with the 1958 Plymouth Fury known as “Christine”. Or was it the  Belvedere? Or the Savoy? Truth is, it was ALL of them, and just like that your mood is going to be all over the road. The best you can do to mitigate it is get sleep, eat good meals, and for Chrissakes… Stop being a stalker! It’s over!

Pisces 

You aren’t the most famous one on this list, but you are personally memorable for those that ever interacted with you. Just like the 1966 Ford Mustang Coupe with its front and rear triangle windows, T-Stick transmission shifter, and desire to just gallop on the highway, you will have people wanting to try to keep pace with you, just to watch you work. Cool people don’t look back at explosions, and cooler people ignore the fans. Your disinterest will make you MORE attractive. 

And THOSE are your Hobble-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Discord.