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crustaceans-and-fankids · 7 years

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Kekarian Romance, Sex, Orientation, Marriage, etc

I wanted to write this down because I feel it’s kind of important to my species even if it is never something that is referenced in something like a fanadventure format, and I know some people are interested in stuff like this. I do want to note that none of these views of my species is a personal view of mine, it is simply a lifestyle of a fictional group of people.

I will keep this up but if any information canonically has to be altered, I will alter this post as I have to try to with the original Species introduction page.

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Brief warning: while I discuss some of this stuff, depending on how easily you are affected, some things may upset you. The last section on adoption/abandonment and the section on sex may be the only major offenders, so please be wary before reading.

Kekara are not bound to the same orientations that we have by name. Someone of the Kekarian and Jhingan species will not see a couple and label them as straight or gay. Females of the species are capable of producing life, laying eggs, etc. Thus, a traditional male/female relationship is more common since the aspirations of reproduction are common. That is not to say it is the societal norm, or that any deviation of the norm is repulsive—it is biologically more favorable and so it is more of an occurrence.

That being said, old-world royals and some other old-world classes are accustomed to this family life and so they are more inclined to believe that a pairing that is biologically likely to produce offspring is more favorable. They are unrepulsed by deviation from that kind of relation, but they are likely to say “hey, wouldn’t you rather have a nice boy/girl to have children with?” and try to push their children and family members to a relationship that is likely to produce offspring.

It is unlikely that everyone is passive to this idea, and yes there may be situations where a pairing is highly forced. Arranged marriages are still a thing in this society, mostly amongst the Royals who have the power to genuinely enforce this with money and/or threats, and very often those are marriages we would perceive as heterosexual.

In the new-world timeline, things are changing, people have more chance to communicate with one another, and young Kekara are apt to have their own decisions to make and go against the old-world grain. Arranged marriages are not scarce, but they become less abundant over time and even the present monarch figurehead King Harit does not expect anything of his kin other than to make smart choices, so long as they are still their own. He is aware of people attempting to court their kids with his daughter, such as with Kanad’s mother introducing the pair solely with the hopes that they could be together. To this, his attitude of “make your own choice” is still solid. Offerings and kiss-ups do not change his mind. This attitude is not uncommon in the new-world timeline, but not everyone is inclined to agree. People may find Harit’s ideas repulsive or uncanny and may stick to what they are accustomed to. Some may want their kids to marry into a particular family, but that other family does not agree with the idea of forcing their grown kin into a marriage.

Marriage at a young age is not considered. Certainly there may be shady people in this society as with any society who might be disgustingly intrigued by such an idea, but it is not accepted socially to marry so young. Typically they wait until a sort of mental and physical maturity is reached before a marriage is permitted. Previous monarchs would have made it unlawful to wed children.

That all being said, a typical Kekarian sense of love is one based over time. A genuine connection must be made between two people before they can engage in any sort of romance, sex, or marriage. Sex before marriage is not socially condemned by all in this new-world timeline, but it may be by some, especially any people who might also be supporters of arranged marriages and any who are highly supportive of old-world views. It is a huge bit of hypocrisy, because someone may say they want their children to marry a certain person of a certain class or of a certain sex even if their children do not like this person and never will, yet they condemn anyone who physically bonds with someone before they are married. Sometimes people are just assholes.

Sexuality/Bonding

For many Kekara who do aspire to marry or who aspire to engage in a relationship with another person, it is still on a bonded basis—heart, spirit and mind must intertwine before such a thing is possible. Someone who they can openly talk to, consider their closest friend, someone who understands their needs and wants. It is not totally unlike our concept of love. A trust has to be developed over time for most Kekara—it is very unusual for someone to be able to throw themselves into a relationship all of a sudden, and people who do are usually perceived as people who are not genuinely in love.

Many may assume it’s because you are a prostitute, or a leech out for money and belongings, but in some cases some Kekara may not feel romantic love or may not be capable of forming such a deep relationship with people. Their capacity to trust may have been damaged, or their sense of romantic love is simply nonexistent. They may enter many relationships because they are unsure whether this is true of themselves, or because they care enough about a person that they at least want to try for them even if they themselves are not interested in a relationship. Some may even be afraid of being looked down upon for not engaging in a relationship, so they do it for status. They are capable of maintaining decent friendships, or in some cases maybe they are not, but regardless these people may not be interested in deep romantic relationships, sex, or marriage, or may even be repulsed by these things. It may be what we see as remnants of asexuality or aromanticism, and it is very jarring for those who are accustomed to a traditional sense of love/sex/marriage to see people who simply do not care for it. Some may even be repulsed by it, and maybe some might be highly judgmental and assume that just because a Kekarian person has no interest in a physical or soulfully intimate relationship, that they are simply selfish or want something from that person but don’t want to “commit to what it takes to get it”. A stigma against these people exists because prostitution and selfish leeching is also a thing that exists, so those who are unused to seeing these people just lump them all together without considering that people like this are simply just around but mean no ill will. There is not always some tragic backstory or selfish desire that drives people who don’t care for relationships or intimacy as some Kekara unfamiliar with this may assume—they sometimes just realize they do not care for it. Again, not all Kekara are repulsed or confused by this. There are simply just some that do, and typically they are very fond of old-world practices.

As far as same-sex romance or even stuff we’d call pansexuality or bisexuality is concerned, this is a thing that exists. As mentioned previously, though a biologically productive relationship in which offspring is produced is more favored, it is not as though there are no such things as men and women marrying with or entering relationships with the same biological sex or adopted gender. In our new-world timeline, this is much more commonplace than in old-world timelines where people favored a m-f relationship. Female Kekara get together with each other, Male Kekara get together with each other, maybe they engage in relationships with all or multiple genders, etc. Marriage amongst these people is not forbidden, although it becomes difficult in the event that a couple desires a child because they do not have the same technology we do in our society to initiate a surrogate pregnancy. If a child is desired by a couple who cannot genuinely produce one, adoption is possible, but some Kekara may even go as far as to bring in another person to assist with their needs.

Polyamory is also possible, although this is when it becomes a bit unruly for some Kekara much in the same way as those who do not have a sexual or romantic interest in people are. Much of this stigma stems from it being perceived as “complicated” or “selfish”, but again, there are many Kekara who have also supported the relationships of those who genuinely love one another and find something like a relationship amongst multiple people to be okay. It is less common for polyamorous relationships to be seen in classes closer to or in the palace due to the control some adults try to have over their children’s relations, but it does exist.

Courting, Wedding

If a person wants to court someone, typically it will involve dance. It is very commonplace for a couple to share a dance together before they are either bonded in a relationship sense or in marriage. A wedded couple will typically share a dance together at their “wedding” ceremony. A couple may have their own dance that is unique to them, and likewise an individual may have their own dance that is unique to them that they share with whomever they intend to court. There is a difference between the dance of an individual and a dance between lovers. Some times each individual’s courtship dance may be blended into a routine at a ceremony to sort of symbolize an intertwining of spirits, but again this Is usually during marriage (that is not to say it cannot be done for fun, though. Nahua and Kanad did this once to make fun of the expectancy of their relationship by Kanad’s mother but the both knew they weren’t really having a genuine romantic dance).

However, because dancing is seen as more of a spiritual connection to their “religious” figureheads, and not everyone is religious, not everyone adheres to a dance to court or uses dancing in any relationship sense. This can of course cause a religious divide in people, but that is not the focus of this post.

Some people are accepting of a refusal to dance, others think it is necessary. All Royals are raised with dance and song in their education and as a part of their ceremonies and parties, so hardly any Royal will not adhere to this practice. Not all Kekara are inherently good at dancing, but some people find the goofiness of a bad dancer kind of charming and silly. Others might find it embarrassing that someone might not know how to dance, however. Spoiled Royals and Upper Commoners are more prone to a negative outlook on bad dancers, but again, this is not always the case and not all Royals are inherent jerks.

A Kekarian wedding is only ever lavish for the upper-commoner Kekara and Royals who can afford them—fancy garbs, expensive jewelry or makeup, gifts, novelty displays, grand halls. They will usually host weddings in the temple if spiritually driven, or in a Royal palace hall designated for weddings and wedding parties. Any elite Royal ceremonies will always be held by the throne, such as marriages amongst monarchs or friends of monarchs. White, gold, and silver will be prominent at all weddings as they are royal-associated colors. The bride actually wears a shade of or very close to Royal or Navy blue given it is the color of their blood and it is symbolic to them of bond and blood-ties and whatnot. Dresses are either long and flowy or short and show leg depending on the time period. Newer wedding dresses and other garments have acquired a sleeker more modern design in comparison to any traditional garb that involved hoods, veils, puffed and broad sleeves. Black has been incorporated into wedding garb in newer time periods as a result of Royals adopting the color as their own. There is no real limit to these outfits otherwise and every wedding is inherently different [Non royals/Upper-Commoners often cannot afford weddings or clothing for weddings and have to settle for very simple garbs or small gatherings of close friends and family]. Marriage is not regulated by mandate or by any bureaucratic system, so a wedding does not even have to occur. A couple can literally just decide “we are married” and present each other with gifts, vows, or dances.

Vows are exchanged at ceremonies, although there are no wedding rings. Jewelry may be presented to the spouse[if it is between nonroyals it is usually cheaper jewelry unless someone managed to get their hands on gold or silver], but this is optional. A song may also be sung to the spouse instead of them being given a physical gift. If it a spiritual/religious ceremony the couple will perform a routine together in addition to their vows.

Sex, Prostitution

[Skip if you don’t care for or are repulsed by sex stuff, please]

Okay, I guess it’s time for me to get into the nitty gritty of sex and sexual relationships in Kekarian society! Usually Kekara don’t have sex for pleasure when they are very genuinely romantically bonded with someone, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. After all, people hire prostitutes, and even in the old-world they had slaves. So, yes, Kekara can get horny. Maybe people fool around in the relationships they do engage in, and no, relationships don’t always last forever. It is more accepted to have sex with people you genuinely romantically love, whether or not you are actually going to marry. As said previously, sex before marriage is less looked down upon now but still can be unusual and unappealing for some. It’s sex outside of a bond of any kind that is pretty off-putting for many, and it can get you lumped in with the naughty prostitutes even if you’re just pretty sexually active but romantically inactive and crave the stuff. This can also get pretty fucked up when a person is made to feel worthless and they turn to a sexually active lifestyle not because they are incapable of romantic love or don’t like romantic love, but because they want to feel wanted or have some sort of gratification. Why is this?

Kekarian sex is not like human sex. It isn’t them pumping wildly into each other for kicks if it’s a genuine sexual relationship based on love and trust. In a bonded relationship, sex is often the pair being intimate with one another. They enter each other and will stay held together for quite a while. Words and embraces are typically exchanged, and if they are biologically compatible, fertilization can happen and pregnancy will begin a while after the act has been done. If a pair is biologically incompatible, they may still embrace and touch each other to one another.

In relationships that are not romantic, or are purely sexual or for sexual gratification, it is typically then that sexual acts start to mirror human sex. There is less intimacy and more movement. Pace is quickened, the act takes far less time, and alternating positions are more common. It is less a bond of sexual love and more of pleasure. Some people who do have a genuine romantic relationship and depth of love may try this—there are always exceptions. But it is more common for them to embrace than it is for them to move their bodies around. It is very unusual to discuss sexual bonding in a manner that discusses positions and sexual acts rather than intimate embracing, unless you are a very specific type of person or are perceived as having “no shame”. Prostitutes and debauchery-engaging socialites often brag about this sort of thing and like to consider their approaches to sex individual and new. It is as taboo as certain fetishes and acts are to us.

As far as prostitution, it is abundant in the city but is not something that is above Royality. Royals are often known to sneak into the city to have a fling with someone, or may even illegally keep a slave in their home to have relations with—usually someone who willingly goes with them because living lavishly but under someone’s thumb is much better than living on streets and making scrap. Prostitution and slavery in the palace with Royals was more commonplace in old-world times, but in the current timeline it is not acceptable. Again, people still may like to be sneaky and do things against their Queen/King’s wishes.

People may even go to Jhingan territory to engage in sexual acts with the Jhinga, and sadly there is less regulation there because that territory is mostly seen as a place for food to be farmed and nothing more. Although Jhingan people are no longer slaves, they are still not wholly treated well. That is all I will say on this.

Romantic Labels/Systems

As far as a system of romance or a label for their orientations or relationships, there is not really any. Nothing like “straight, gay, bisexual” and their vast spectrums, or even anything like Trollian quadrants. They do not call a type of attraction to someone anything by name, but do refer to the bond between people. The only type of relationship they single out is a M-f relationship that they refer to as a “commonplace bond” since they are accustomed to seeing it, regardless of whether they themselves think it’s a norm.

A genuine romantic relationship with someone, they call a “Spiritual bond” or something along those lines. Depending on the context of the conversation this may mean a genuine loving relationship, or a sexual relationship. They are not stupid enough to confuse the two and won’t get flustered if someone mentions a “spiritual bond” when they know it is referring to one or the other. [The concept of sex to someone young may fluster them a bit, but that is entirely separate from being childishly flustered at a miscommunication that isn’t even there. An example of this would be someone making a joke about trolls being embarrassed at the sight of a bucket when that seems kind of unnecessary and probably wouldn’t happen, or at least hardly. Likewise, a Kekara would know you mean a relationship when you say “Soul/spiritual bond” and even if you mean it in a sexual connotation, they aren’t going to be childish about it unless their personality is genuinely childish.]

If someone is a prostitute or has absolutely zero sense of romantic love, it is considered a “spiritless” bond. This unfortunately also has multiple meanings that again, they are mostly smart enough to differentiate. A hurtful person may bitterly call it a “spiritless” bond and basically mean “this person is disgusting and has no soul and is immoral”, but a person who uses this term can also simply be saying “this person is not interested in romantic intimacy and this pair’s spirits/souls are not romantically intertwined”. A more light term would be a “platonic bond”, though “spiritless” is more common.

They will refer often to dance, spirit, or intertwining when they discuss stuff like this. They will say the term “love” as well, but that can mean many many things and they don’t associate the term love purely with a romantic or intimate relationship—it can also be applied to close friendships. An “asexual” Kekara may say they love someone but it does not mean what we would assume it does. It simply means they genuinely care about a person and maybe even trust them, not that they want to engage in a romantic relationship.

There is not a name for things like close friendships or heated, hateful rivalries. It is simply a face-value title. Friendship is friendship, hatred or rivalry is hatred or rivalry. Only the bond between two people in a sexual or romantic sense is what has a title.

Adoption, Abandoned Children

Adoption is tricky because orphanages are not in abundancy here, in fact they are scarce and not mandated by any institution and usually run by people who want to better secure a future for homeless Kekarian young. People have abandoned their children before and some give them to other families (such as with Cecil leaving his daughter, Delilah’s mother, to another family) but others may outright dump a child somewhere and leave them. A Kekarian child is not so simple as to sit there and cry all the time (though some do) and some children may wander until they find someone who wants them or a place that is willing to house them until someone decides to take them [akin to an orphanage, but not outright called an orphanage], or they may try to build a life of their own. An abandoned child may enter an abandoned house or hidden space and claim it, or they may go out of their way to try to build their own. This is much more commonplace within the city—royals who do not want their children will often dump them at the temple, as the temple will never turn them away. Many city classes will do this as well, but there are genuinely going to be people who do not care and will leave their child in the city. There are also plenty of Kekara who go to give birth without wanting their child or children, and never return to claim them from the mercury sea when they’ve grown into toddlers. A child may die in the sea, or wander around until something happens to them, such as another malicious person hurting them or harm from any animals in the area. They are not stupid, but they are fragile.

Children may also be picked up by people wishing to raise them to make them money, so sometimes people even roam the coast or the city in search of any abandoned children they can “foster”.

Children who grow in the temple are not bound to the temple—many find they are not cut out for such a lifestyle as they grow older and opt to leave, which is something Sages and other temple residents do not look down upon. They also welcome those who leave back with open arms in the case they decide to come back. Though there are absolutely some bad people who manage to get into the temple, some selfish, some crude and stubborn in certain ideas, a majority of those who live there are very kind and understanding, forgiving and loving.

This situation is very different for Jhingan children—if they are abandoned they cannot simply go across the sea to the temple or in the city. They often are left to fend for themselves and have a sense of individuality. They are smaller and perceived as weaker, but they are highly perseverant and strong-willed people who are capable of living on their own from even very young ages. Some children lose their parents at young ages or are simply abandoned at sea, so they are more evolved than those in the city to be more independent and it is more likely they can build their own shelter and live off the land better than anyone else. Despite the social perception of Jhinga to be weak and simple given that they are shorter and frailer, they are anything but.

Children in Kekarian society are not expected to have to do everything on their own, but in the case that they are left to their own devices they have absolutely no choice, and given the danger of animal maulings (and Mutant maulings in the new-world timeline where mutants drop down from the exterior), acid rain leaking from the “sky”, and dangerous people in the city, they have to be pretty tough and handle things on their own. They have common sense and an ingrained sense of survival, but they are still curious creatures and sometimes things go wrong.

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There’s that then. If you have any questions or additional things to help me consider, please feel free to shoot me an ask!

#fanspecies #homestuck fanspecies #fanrace #homestuck fanrace #FILLLLER TAGGG #speculation #Blog navigation!#KEKARA

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ourimpavidheroine · 7 years

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Hello favorite author of mine! Here's a question that you don't have to answer if there are spoilers involved (and if so I'll ask again later, but I can't help but try now because I'm NOSY): I know you've said that Qi just appeared on the page while writing the 5 Times fic, so at what point did you realize what Qi's future in relation to Wu and Mako would be? Was it prior to writing ASoSaA?

So because you are you, I’ll give the long answer instead of the short one!

There may be some mildish spoilers ahead - so read or not as you please.

I’ve said before that I have set myself some challenges as a writer. Please Excuse My Penmanship was me tackling the dreaded letter fic (and there are still some people who will not touch it with a ten foot pole because of it) and I decided early on that Wu as a character would do really well with a first-person diary format (even though, again, there is a lot of hate out there for first-person fanfic and people won’t read it because of that).

LoLo was planned, absolutely. I wanted someone for Lin, and I wrote that character specifically as someone I thought would be a good match for her (or at least my version of her). All of the kids were planned as well - oh, there might have been some waffling about names (I went back and forth between Poppy and Lily for a long time but in the end I think Poppy suits her better) and even gender (Goba was supposed to be a girl but I just kept writing “he” over and over again and finally gave it up and let him be the boy he so clearly wants to be) but they were planned. (It’s why I know so much about Sayuri as well as Ikki’s kids). Naoki was written as my way of trying to take a character like Azula - a brilliant prodigy - and put her into a loving and supportive family, and see where that would take her. Would she be boring if she didn’t have that villain arc? Or didn’t have a redemption arc like Zuko? Could I make her the best bender of her age and still make her real? Likable? A character people resonate with? A character that people want to read more about? That was my own challenge when it came to the Butterfly, right down to making her a firebender who will eventually be jumping right into a Chosen One trope.

I had characters that were supposed to be relatively unimportant just take off. Nuo is a fine example of that. I was going to write about Wu searching for a secretary but realized it would bog the story down. (Wu’s recounting of it for Iris in AtWtPHM was my original idea that I had to scrap.) So I had to create this secretary for him out of nowhere. She was never meant to be as instantly engaging as she was; there was no plan at all to have Wing fall so hard for her. She quite literally just started happening in Dear Diary; I just got the fuck out of her way and let her run her part of the story. (It’s always best to let Nuo do that anyhow.)

Baatar Junior is my redemption arc, of course. His attraction to Ikki kind of hit me upside the head and I was like…no way! This could never work! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. (He was also a gift for my betareader - he’s her favorite character of all of mine, and so I knew I had to do right by him, as difficult as he is. And he is! He’s the most difficult of all of my characters, canon and OC alike, to write.)

So that leaves me with my Qi. That scruffy kid of non-determinate gender who showed up sitting in the chair next to a hungry Mako’s desk. As I’ve said before, I never planned for Qi. Qi just showed up on the page and I let them. I had no idea what was going to become of that kid; they took over the story like Nuo did, but in a totally different way. I realized very early on who Nuo was and what her future would be - she was going to stamp her way right into Wing and Zaofu’s heart.

But Qi?

Qi was a slippery little koi fish. I could never quite grab ahold of them - I tried to determine gender and it just wasn’t happening and I realized to myself that it was because this kid was actively rejecting gender and I knew I needed to let that happen. I did not set out to write a nonbinary character the way I did a trans character (and yes, I have an OC that is trans that not even my betareader knows about yet, because they will be coming out as part of the storyline). Qi made themselves nonbinary and as a writer I had to respect what the character wanted for themselves. And that’s how it has always been with Qi. I realized early on that this character wanted to write themselves and I made a conscious choice to let that happen instead of planning things out for them. How would this work for me as a writer? Would it be a red hot mess? Or would the character just keep unfolding, like a flower? Hopefully the latter.

My betareader can tell you that there have been several times that she has read something and said, Wait, I thought Qi was going to that other thing instead of this! And all I can do is shrug my shoulders and say, I know! But what can I do? Qi tells their own story. Qi doesn’t really care all that much for my careful planning, either.

It was during AsoSaA that Qi let me know that Qi was actually in love with Wu - that it had gone way past the mostly grateful crush that Qi had been sporting for Wu for years. Qi also made it clear that there were feelings for Mako as well. And it kept going from there. Qi’s changes as Qi gained confidence and an understanding of their place in the world - the learning to read and write, changing the accent, the true and unique fashion sense - were never planned. I just let Qi lead the way. There a few things I do know about Qi’s future; one or two things that are set in stone already. But Qi IS a slippery koi and just when I think I have grasped something about them they are out of my hands and swimming somewhere new and unexpected. I’m just following along as best I can. So what I’m saying to you is that I still don’t know what all Qi’s future holds for them. I really don’t. Qi will tell me when Qi is ready to as Qi always has.

I’ve had some questions from readers about the whole polyamory thing. Ikki is in a traditional Tibetan fraternal polyandry relationship; I wrote it deliberately that way. (So to be clear: There is no incest happening. Baatar and Huan are not sleeping together and they won’t be having any threesomes with Ikki, either. I’m not kinkshaming, it’s just not what I am writing.) It’s why the folks in Baidi Village are completely fine with the whole thing - it is the cultural norm for them. Because of this, their relationship is never going to cause much comment up north where the temple is. (That is obviously not the case elsewhere.) I am not writing my fic for kids and I have unlimited time and space for it so I can delve into some of those more traditional and geographical influences far more than Bryke ever could, of course. Most ATLA/TLOK fanfic relies heavily on Chinese and Japanese influences; I wanted something different. Asian influence, of course, but something outside the mainstream. Thus Baidi village was born.

My Wu, on the other hand, has been strongly influenced by Imperial China. Which the canon Wu was as well, of course. The Earth Monarch was clearly based on that. I’ve run with it. (I’ve researched and then talked so much about Imperial China that I finally sat down and re-watched The Last Emperor with my son. The movie does have its issues, of course, but it’s meant a whole lot of really interesting dialogue about racism and colonialism with him.) It makes me want to throw my hands up into the air and kick people when I get the comments I do about polygamy. “I’m not into it” or “The characters would never do that” or even “This whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.” Polygamy is a real thing in many non-western cultures. The ATLA/TLOK universe is not set on our Earth; it is not Asia, but rather Asian-influenced. But I will tell you one thing it isn’t, and that’s Christian. Western Judeo-Christian influences do not apply. Wu being a King in a dynasty that was clearly based on Imperial China would have had a consort and concubines. It’s just how it is. He’s not the king any longer, but he is a prince, and in his mind, having more than one partner is not only normal, it is to be expected. Qi obviously just swam their way right into that!

So this is my incredibly long-winded way of telling you that I really can’t nail down a specific time when Qi told me they were going to have a relationship with Wu and Mako! I still haven’t written the whole Qi and Mako thing out because Qi just hasn’t gotten around to telling me what it is yet. I am sure they will. When they do, I will write it down for the rest of you!

#my fanfic #ask the writer #mild spoilers #marezelle

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