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#i mean im still feeling unusually heightened anxiety 24/7 but its not causing physical symptoms
skyjynxart
·
4 months
Text
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#hmmmm
#vent cw
#dont read this
#no seriously i warned you im being a whiney piece of shit
#I should probably be worried about the 3-day long panic attack ive had going on
#the physical symptoms really are rhe works- the swimming vision the dizziness the tight chest feeling that is uniquely 'anxiety'
#and then you add the inability to think for more than like 5 minutes about any given topic
#the stress to the point of wanting to cry when things go slightly wrong
#but ironically i cant seem to summon any actual anxiety about the anxiety
#juat a blank numbness there
#really do need it to stop tho as i think its destroying what little appeal as a human i had left at this point
#and its seriously hampering my ability to get work done
#which i absolutely need to be doing bc if i dont finish my work i cant take on more work
#and if i dont take on more work i will officially no longer be paying my bills next month
#'sky this seems like talk for a therapist not hidden tags on the tumblr dash' yeah I dont think sitting on this for a month will work
#'talk to a friend about it then' hahaha no at least here anyone who reads this fuckin chose to
#putting up with me normally is a big ask putting up with me when im needy & anxious & breaking down bc its Too Fucking Much?
#lmfao hell no i like my friendship INTACT thanks
#a bitch is not about to be a drain on emotional resources when said bitch cannot contribute fuckall of value thats how you make it all worse
#and then a month later the therapist cancels so i just keep adding tags to this post bc no one will read them
#but i feel like im “talking to someone”
#the panic attacks stopped but i have no idea why
#i mean im still feeling unusually heightened anxiety 24/7 but its not causing physical symptoms
#not like it was anyway
#and at least now being anxious makes sense
#its a bunch of small to medium shit id probably feel better about if i talked more
#but the less i talk and just observe people from a distance unseen the happier people i care about seem so
#im literally a fifth wheel so the least i can do is not squeak and alert others to my presence
#i really need to get better at art and get faster at working so i can have SOMETHING to offer
#oh wow theres a tag limit apparently guess i have to find a new method bc making a new post is begging for attention & I don't wanna do that
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