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#i mean like im not a big fan of scream sneezes
zenniet · 5 years
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Look I get finding little, high-pitched sneezes cute, but my parents' sneezes bring nothing but heart attacks and ringing ears, they're so fucking loud and sudden 😭😭 I can't imagine anyone getting turned on by *that*
loud sneezes are a no,,,
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softboyscully · 4 years
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Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share
public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right
so ill just go by the grades i guess
Kindergarten, first year
i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit
we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair
i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime
SPEAKING of naptime
i never slept during it
once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe
i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose
sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”
i put it up my fucking nose
try to get it out, just push it farther in
im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts
go up to my teacher
“you’re supposed to be asleep!”
“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”
teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge
just. sends me back to my mat
that was it
the art room was tiny
like re-purposed broom closet tiny
there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced
there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread
someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something
we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class
Kindergarten, second year
i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination
but seriously they were horrible
we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark
me and sarah attained a new friend, john
honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away
i have two vivid memories
one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze
they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down
the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up
it was funny, so he did it again
and again
me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives
after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”
one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie
most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards
my mother was horrified
ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 
1st grade
this is when i moved
beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me
nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool
thing is i was a little shit
told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)
all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)
had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story
2nd grade
i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit
like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us
never actually taught us stuff???
middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.
“what do you mean?”
“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”
“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”
“sure, i could try that.”
“o....kay”
he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)
like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????
there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived
funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me
something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas
also we had fish
every day someone else was in charge of feeding them
one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top
i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”
everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”
we held a funeral
the cause of death is still undetermined
3rd grade
this year just draws a blank for me
all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock
also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here
4th grade
i had two teachers this year
one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch
made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized
i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average
instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 
she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl
this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once
she sucked, Ms. S
5th grade
this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do
but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++
he legitimately taught me math
we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes
the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles
at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming
also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)
she was kind of crazy
she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked
once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)
Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons
also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:
someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest
a guy named Makenzie won
remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation
we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine
like how the fuck did any of those things get there
and where’s the fourth sock
b o t t l e f l i p p i n g
but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria
my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes
one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video
four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive
like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone
and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit
no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee
me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences
“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”
“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”
“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”
“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”
“RIGHT”  
also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”
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Boyfriend!Hyunjin
A/N: SHE PROTECC
SHE ATTACC
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY
SHE BACC
HI GUYS!!! I’m so happy to be posting again i cry :,)  i hope you enjoy!!!! i;ll be updating as much as i can without rushing too much :D
MASTERLIST
Prepare your wigs peeps
This is gonna make me swerve
I mean
cmon it’s Hyunjin
Let’s do this!
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Prince Hyunjin
Is actually smooth af with his crush
He'll complement you whenever he gets the chance
Or gives you food
Basically your knight in shining armor
Ye, that’s not what actually happens
He's smiling like an idiot and about collapse when he’s with you because HE'S FREAKING OUT OK
So freaking nervous his heartbeat is always up when he’s with you
You sometimes think he’s about to have a heart attack and you’re not stupid you know why lmao
Same for when he confesses
At first he’s pretty calm about it
Just casually asked if you wanted to see a movie with him some time
“Like... a-as more than friends?”
You'd kinda expected it so you weren't too shocked when he asked you
So you said yes
Duh
And he does a double take
"Wait.... Are you serious? You want to?"
"Well yeah?"
"WHAT WHY"
Was good with flirting but didn't actually think you'd go out with him smh
Now every minute he just contemplates the fact that he has you
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And he still can't believe it
Like shit dude
He’s with the y/n
You never feel unloved when you're with him
He loves going for long walks, just to talk and relax
Why does it sound like he's a dog here lmao
Will always take as many pictures of you as his phone storage will allow, his camera roll is stuffed with pics of you
Will insist on going to the park for a picnic, he just loves you and the sunshine
He loves to quietly slide your hand into his
But he always ends up giggling because he’s so giddy about being with you
Has to take a moment to charge up his courage before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek
He then goes an unreal shade of scarlet as he covers his face, muttering that he ‘can’t believe that he actually did it’! 
It takes him a while to finally gather up the courage to properly kiss you
Like.... a very long time
You were starting to get worried that he didn’t actually like you
Maybe he was just too nervous to tell you that it wasn’t working for him
buT NOPE
On one certain date, Hyunjin had prepared a cute little dinner on the practice room floor
He was so apologetic about the poor setting, but finally had stopped saying sorry when you’d told him for the 2376129th time that you were having fun
At some point, he just went uber silent, watching you not in a creepy way
You eventually noticed, and just stared back
“What?”
He didn’t say anything, but his eyes did widen a wee bit
“What are you lookin at, you’re sorta scaring m-”
He cut you off and just kissed you
BOI YOU WERE SO SHOCKED
Afterwards you both just stared at each other
And then Hyunjin goes all red
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that I’m sorry that was stupid you can slap me if you want!!!!”
“Bruh why would I want to slap you?!”
“You don’t hate me?”
facepalms for days
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You meet the other boys only a few minutes later
Go figure
You’re talking casually, the embarrassment from the kiss wearing off
They all come stampeding into the practice room making an ungodly racket
And all go quiet when they realize what they’ve done
Changbin, bless him, tries to reduce the awful level of awkwardness: “*cough* uh hey, Hyunjin.... This must be y/n right?” He waves at you. “We’ve heard a lot about you, Hyunjin never stops talking about you”
He misses the death glare Hyunjin shoots him
Then Jisung
Freakin Jisung, man
Waltzes up: “Hyunjin’s cheeks are really pink”. He gives a cheeky smile. “You didn’t kiss did you?”
The room goes as quiet as a tomb
“OH SHIT YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY KISS DID YOU????”
Of course Hyunjin completely loses his shit at the sight of you turning a deep red. “GODDAMMIT JISUNG STFU”
Ye your first meeting with SKZ wasn’t the best
But you all bonded rather quickly after
And Jisung buys you little snacks sometimes as an apology for your first awkward meeting
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OH GOD THE BOYS ADORE YOU
If you’re ever sick, they always get snacks for Hyunjin to give you
And if you’re really under the weather, they’ll cover for Hyunjin so that he can stay with you and take care of you.
He wraps you in blankets
YOU ARE NOW A BURRITO
And tries to make soup for you
We know what cooking!Hyunjin leads to
You’re chilling on the couch and you suddenly hear a high-pitched scream
You’re up and sprinting to the kitchen at the speed of light still wrapped in a burrito
To find him fanning at a smoking pot
“WHAT THE FUCK HYUNJIN YOU JUST NEED TO HEAT IT UP HOW DID YOU START A MINI FIRE?”
You’re home doesn’t burn down thank goodness
And you end up heating some soup for yourself while Hyunjin watches
And it’s! hilarious! when he’s sick!
He becomes a little ten-year-old istg
But in a really cute way
He doesn’t ask for anything: food, to watch TV etc
Nah he just wants cuddles
The whole damn day
So while you’re struggling to keep a mask on and not getting sneezed on, this idiot is smiling like a puppy if puppies could smile, clinging onto you like a love-filled leach did that sound weird? i think that sounded really weird
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i want this tattooed on my face thx
Now idk what this dude is afraid of
Something tells me one big fear would be to lose Stray Kids and the people he loves
And so I think he’d get kinda nervous when you both see less of each other and when he gets busier
You can’t talk as much because of his crazy schedule and with lack of sleep, he starts getting more irritated easier during the little intervals of time you get to see each other
At some point he might snap at you, maybe for no reason at all, and you’ll snap back indignantly
Yeah you love him but you’re not taking any attitude
If things get really bad, he just shakes his head, saying he needs some air
You’ll both give yourselves some space, but eventually Hyunjin becomes terrified that you’re too angry with him to talk again
So he goes to find you and talk
You both hug it out and decide to spent the rest of the day together for more quality time
And it’s totally worth Hyunjin getting an earful from Chan the next day
OK back to fluff quickly quickly
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On the days Hyunjin goes somewhere, you sometimes join him in the car ride, tho you’re always super careful to never show your face when he gets out
Gotta stay hidden yknow?
You’ll both send cute little texts throughout the day and OOF just couple goals
You: hey check this out, this is me 2 u *sends heart meme*
Jiiniie<3: oh yeah? well this is me @ u! *sends heart meme with more hearts*
You: boi dont start smth u cant win!
And thus begins the heart meme wars
r they even called heart memes idk
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i want this tattooed on my face pt2
We’ve already established that Hyunjin can’t cook for love or money
So if he even steps foot in the dorms’ kitchen
You bet that at least two other of his hyungs will follow for pure supervision
And he is not, under any circumstances, allowed to cook something by himself
And you’re grateful that your safety and world peace had been assured by this rule
Although, you’re allowed to cook together as long as you watch what he’s doing
If anything at all goes wrong, the blame is pinned on you
So it’s natural for you to treat these cooking projects as once-in-a-while occasions
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Now when you ask about meeting his parents
Holy Hell
Stutters, clammy hands, flitting eyes, you name it
Hyunjin is so frickin nervous about you meeting his parents oof
You don’t understand why, like hey, how bad could it be right?
But pretty soon you get why Jinnie was nervous
His parents aren’t that trusting within the first hour of knowing you
You guess it might be because of poor past experiences?
Maybe Hyunjin had been judged or dated once too many times just for his looks?
The thought is enough to make you swear by all you know to always treat him like a treasure
You also make a mental note to ask him sometime
Eventually, his parents realize you have pure intentions and they become so much kinder and warmer
They let you know how welcome you are to visit whenever you want, they offer to send you off with some homemade cookies...
And Hyunjin gets so emotional at the beautiful site in front of him that he bursts into tears
Which causes you and his parents to tease and hug him
if you’re thick, let’s just be clear that im making a statement on how you should NOT judge Jinnie purely because he’s good looking, appreciate his talent!
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Now, Hyunjin is kinda tall compared to the rest of SKZ hah im joking of course so it’s pure instinct to want to steal his shirts
Don’t lie, if you had the chance, you would take something i see right thru u
And at some point in your life, you stop realizing ‘hey, this isn’t my jumper!’ and just walk around in clothes that aren’t yours
And when this happens, three things follow:
You see a wild Hyunjin crashing through the apartment towards you, yelling happily that ‘that’s my favorite hoodie!!’ he tries to act like he’s angry and fails in 0.0000003 sec
He doesn’t slow down and freakin slams into you at full velocity, knocking you over or off anything you might be sitting on
He proceeds to tickle you mercilessly, until you either can’t breath and turn purple or until you commit an extreme act of violence in the name of self defense
Once this chaotic episode ends, most of the time with both of you are completely knackered and just lying on the floor
You both cool off by just cuddling and watching something on TV
Or reading something together!!!
I can totally see Hyunjin shoving one of his fav books in your face and insisting that you both take turns in reading aloud to each other
And you both react at the same time to shockers in the book, like you start crying together when a character dies who hasn’t had that traumatic experience or you both squeal with joy and hug each other tighter when something great happens
Did I just turn into a puddle of happy goo?
Yes I fuckin did.
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I think Hyunjin wouldn’t take that long to tell you that he loves you
That doesn’t mean that he planned anything tho
HAH! Course he didn’t
Probs says it when he can barely think straight
Maybe you’re watching him dance late at night
You’d brought snacks to keep him going ‘cause he was working his ass off
And there you sit, marveling at his skill and fluidity while executing his choreo
You have a talent for hyping Hyunjin up while he dances, cheering when he leaps high into the air, gasping when he performs a complicated move, and aw-ing and his graceful poses ok im done now
When he finishes one of his more dramatic dances, you jump up with glee and tackle him in a hug despite him being sweaty, saying how proud you are
He hugs you back happily and says:
“I should be the proud one, having someone I love so much being so supportive of me”.
You both freeze, still hugging each other
And neither of you move or breathe for a moment
“What did you say?”
“UhhhHHHH NOTHING I SAID NOTHING”
“You said that you love me!”
“WAT NO I DIDN’T I-”
“HYUNJIN I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!”
“N- wait what?”
“I love you, dumbass” same tho
Oof that poor practice room has seen a lot of awkwardness
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I’m cracking up just by thinking of how hopeless Hyunjin could become when SKZ are away
“Hey do you guys have a signal and/or data? I wanna Skype y/n and show them the beautiful view”.
*all of SKZ facepalms*
Always taking pictures to show you
In the evenings, you get a frickin cascade of notifications of both photos and messages from the poor boy telling you he misses you like crazy
When Skyping, he asks to see Khami, who you have the pleasure of caring for during his absence
You do question (mentally and then verbally) whether he calls to talk to you or his dog
He never answers the question heh
There’s lowkey a competition between you and Khami for Hyunjin’s affection
When the boys make their flight home, Hyunjin keeps you informed about everything that’s happening
I mean everything:
Jiiniie<3: we’re @ the airport :D     -6h ago
Jiiniie<3: waiting to board!     -5h ago
Jiiniie<3: they’re getting ready to go, i can’t wait to see you!! xxx      -5h ago
Jiiniie<3: will text you when we arrive, love!     -5h ago
Jiiniie<3: JUST LANDED! CANT WAIT TO HUG U     -31mins ago
Jiiniie<3: about to get our luggage!     -Just now
You get the point -_-
When you finally see each other, he runs at top speed to pick you up and spins you around
frickin goals man i feel so sad writing this :,)
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He goes public in probably the most aesthetic way that’s physically possible
He posts a bunch of gorgeous photos-
Courtesy of Jisung
-of your silhouettes in front of sunsets
-Pics he took of you laughing during a cafe trip
-Bomb-ass selcas where you’re both lookin hella fine
Just
UGGHHH
SO! AESTHETIC!!!
Naturally, the internet freaks the fuck out
Both of you are kinda nervous about the explosive reaction
There are salty bitches who are telling you to piss off because they jelly
But the huge majority of Stay are crying with happiness and wishing you both well
this better happen in the future im watching all of u
And soon Hyunjin is talking about you on vLives, proud af because y/n freakin rules!
OhmyGod I love Hyunjin
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Damn my heart be like < HYUNJIN 3 phew
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