#i need to actually beat the post game to decide that though. since im considering bowling darkrai into this relationship

[birdcatt]

yaaay these are my lifelong pmd eos ocs!!!

from left to right, they are: Emerald (she/her), Bronze (he/him), and Leaf (she/her)

emerald and leaf are sisters, and leaf has an Ongoing Crisis trying to figure out how to both complete her mission while also keeping emerald safe

emerald is just having a grand old time though

[loser-writings]

Oh hey! Im new here so, can I ask for a mating season with Omega shigaraki? I just read how you described him and i love it, he doesn't help the Alpha reader in her/his ruts but he demands help in his heat,....okey so what about the Alpha reader gives him a taste of his own medicine? Leaving him alone so he has to deal with his heat just like he does to the reader.

UNINTENTIONAL BIRTHDAY POST. I LEGIT DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY, BUT HERE YA GO. CHOKED FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY YA NASTY

Warning: Neglect, Manipulation, Omega heats, Sub Shiggy, Dom reader, Gender Neutral but Alpha anatomy, Choking and just all around NSFW.

You sighed softly as you hauled two large trash bags out of Shigarakis room, throwing them in the dumpster since he was busy deep cleaning. His heat was coming up and suddenly became aware of how disgusting his nest had become. His sheets were stained with a variety of unknown liquids, trash had become embedded inside, and the smell of it alone was enough to have the Omega gagging. You weren’t that surprised though since the main giveaway was the random cravings he had been having for roughly a week now, so you were well prepared to deal with him ordering you to help him.

Since you had decided to court him, he had gone off of his suppressants as a way to keep control over you. Sure, you were well aware of that fact because Toga would occasionally question him about it, but you also didn’t mind it. The only problem was that now you wanted revenge. When your heat had suddenly hit, he only tossed you some clothes of his and told you to leave him alone since he was “Too busy” Trying to beat the damn game he had suddenly became interested in the second signs of your heat appeared.

Now wasn’t the time to start your plan for revenge though since Tomuras’ Omega was quickly decluttering his nest and demanding you clean the many piles of ruined cloth. Luckily, Kurogiri had gone out and grabbed tons of new, clean sheets, fluffy pillows, and even some blankets that All for One had sent the second he got the distressed Omegas’ message that morning. All you had to do was scent them and give them to the tense man.

The second you handed him everything, he got to work. It put your alpha at ease watching the thin male create his nest on top of his now clean bed since it was a taste of a more domestic lifestyle. You could hear him purring from your seat at his desk as he laid pillows down, adjusted the blankets, and tucked your clothes in as well. When he was finished, He sighed and flopped inside the nest, grinning a little at how comfortable it felt. “Alpha?” He called before looking over at you, opening his arms so you could join him. A rare moment of vulnerability for Tomura since he always seemed tense and irritable but the clean nest seemed to make his Omega purr from pride.

But you had other plans. You stood up and walked over to the nest only to lean in and kiss his forehead. “Not now, Omega. I’m going to cook some food for you. You have to eat.” A loud whine instantly came from the boy as his partially gloved hands grabbed you. “Tell Kurogiri to do it. I want to be held.” He said in an almost bratty tone. You smirked before moving to peck his nose, noticing how he stretched in an attempt to get you to kiss his chapped lips. “I want to do it myself, Omega. Let me spoil you.” Shigaraki suddenly growled before pushing you away, his scent starting to smell moldy and burned. “Fine, Go fucking cook for me like some sort of housewife instead of treating me like a real Alpha.” He barked as an attempt to insult you, but it only made you chuckle. “It’ll be worth it, Tomura. I’ll be back in a moment.” You said as you left his room with a cheeky grin.

You weren’t expecting to find your Omega curled up in his nest, clinging to the shirt you had worn yesterday as if it was his lifeline. Your alpha naturally wanted to comfort him since the distressed scent was stronger than before, but you took it slow knowing that Shigaraki would take advantage of your guilt. Instead of running to help him, you slowly walked over to him and sat on the edge of his nest. “Sit up, Omega. I won’t feed you since you got upset about it last time.” A loud whine came from him and you sighed, remembering something else about his heat. His body starts to ache, but that wouldn’t stop him from scolding you when you try to feed him.

You moved to carefully pick up the Omega before laying him back on the nest, the little surprised chirp showed that he wasn’t expecting you to do that and it was followed by a snarl. “Don’t fucking touch me,” He swatted at your arm, not actually trying to hurt you. “You wanted to make food so now I don’t want to be touched.” He growled until he watched you grab the large bowl of ramen you had made for him. His eyes widened and he just sighed, hands carefully taking the bowl and chopsticks you had rested on top. “Thanks…” He refused to look you in the eyes, but he quickly began slurping away at the noodles. “No problem. You don’t eat during your heat, so I decided to make you some food.” He just hummed, but he knew you were right. He always lost a little weight after a heat, and that was scary considering that he was already underweight. Going from 120 lbs at 5’9 to 115 lbs doesn’t seem like a lot, but it was enough to make his Alpha panic.

After he ate, he seemed to be in a more pleasant mood. His eyes glanced over at you again before he huffed. “Alpha.” He demanded your attention. “Hold me. I feel tired, and I want you.” He spoke bluntly, yet there was a hidden tone your alpha picked up on. His omega seemed to shine through, expressing fear of rejection that couldn’t be heard by the average person, but it caused you to move before thinking. You laid on your side and pulled Shigaraki in your chest, feeling him sigh before tangling his long, thin, legs with yours. Another set of purrs came from him that were so intense that you could feel his chest rumbling as he pressed his head right under your chin. One arm wrapped around your neck, pressing the scent gland on his wrist against yours on your neck as a way to scent you as well as get your scent on him. He was content and found himself falling asleep in a matter of minutes.

When he woke up, he quickly felt an uncomfortable yet familiar burning through his body. A loud chirp came from his omega who realized that his alpha wasn’t there before he did. He attempted to sit up, but his sore body caused him to cry out in pain. He expected to find you beside him but only found a note and a box on the edge of the nest. 

“Sorry Omega, Something came up and I had to leave. I promise to be back soon!”

Tears started to fall while a wave of rage ran through him. He took off his glove and instantly decayed the paper before moving to look at what was in the box you had left. Food, Water, and a hoodie you had scented heavily were inside as if you believed that he would take it. He only scoffed loudly and crawled back to the center of his nest, trying to fall back asleep so he could ignore the intense burning in his stomach.

Loud chirps of distress came from his Omega as his heat started picking up a bit. He groaned out in annoyance, quickly stripping off his shirt that had begun sticking to his body and shivering at how cool the air was before moving to try to kick off his shoes. He groaned loudly as he struggled to take them off but quickly said fuck it and just decaying them instead. You would have to buy him a new pair since you weren’t here. After that, he stripped himself of the rest of his clothes that were sticking to him, biting back a whimper as he collapsed back inside of the nest.

He touched his forehead and swore he was burning up, not surprised at all since he usually broke out in a fever during his heats. He suddenly felt a wave of nausea and rolled over, face down in the nest as a series of whimpers, chirps, and cries came from him as he attempted to ease his pain. 

It had been about 6 hours since you left Shigaraki at the first sign of his heat. You had originally planned to stay away for a whole day, but your Alpha was livid that you left your Omega to suffer at all. When you approached Shigarakis’ bedroom, you heard the soft chirps and smelled the strong scent coming from the other side of the door. With only 4 of his scent glands working, it was clear they were on overdrive.

The second you walked in, your Alpha growled loudly. Not at him, but at you because how fucking dare you leave him when he needed you. As you approached the pale body collapsed on the bed, you noticed how he wasn’t moving at all. “Tomura?” You called only for him not to reply, only getting a chirp that sent  your Alpha in a panic. “Omega?!” You pressed your hand on his forehead only to feel how hot he was. Your alpha knew this wasn’t okay and quickly took over. 

You quickly grabbed a towel from his bathroom to soak in cold water before starting a warm bath for him. As that filled up, you grabbed the towel and draped it over his head before carrying him to the tub. Once you laid him inside the water, you softly stroked his hair and mumbled soft apologies and praise to him.

After a few minutes, his temperature managed to lower significantly and he started to regain consciousness. Your alpha instantly purred knowing he was okay, but went straight into comfort mode the second he whimpered. “ It’s okay Omega. I’m here now…” You whispered while running your hand through his damp blue locks. He only whined as his gaze slowly locked onto your own.“You weren’t here…” He sounded almost heartbroken, as if you had let him down. You instantly felt guilt and moved to press a soft kiss to his cracked lips. “I’m so sorry. I’ll never do that again, no matter the reason.” He looked at you again and gave a small nod, “It hurts so much more without you here.” He croaked out before shivering as the water got colder. “I know. I’m here now.” He moved to carefully sit up when he felt your arms slip under him, whining at his aching joints. 

You laid him back into his nest before slipping the hoodie you had left over his head. Another soft whine came from him as he opened his arms, able to focus a bit more since he was in between waves. As you pulled him close, he yawned and shoved his face in your chest. “Alpha?” He spoke softly, only continuing when he heard you acknowledge him. “Will you bond me?” His voice was quiet as he asked, omega present once more. “I don’t want you to go…I want you to be my Alpha.”

He seemed to tremble in your arms,yet he tilted his head to kiss your neck softly as if to convince you. Your Alpha was instantly okay with it, and you agreed with your alpha. “Of course, Omega. I’ll mark you so you know I’m all yours.” Your words soothed Tomura, and he instantly moved to kiss you again.

His hands moved to cup your cheeks, little fingers away from your face since he wasn’t wearing his gloves. He felt his body starting to heat up again and became desperate to strip you of your clothes, whining when his hands pulled away from your face to begin tugging off your shirt. He started to struggle with your pants and grew impatient, deciding to just decay them off of you. You gasped and started to scold him, but he only moved to bite your neck to get you to stop.

                        ∘◦✂ ——NSFW STARTS HERE——–✂ ◦∘

“Shut up, Alpha. You left me alone, I need payback.” There was the bratty Omega you adored so much. He tried to take control, but you were quick to catch him off guard by flipping him under you while pinning his hands above his head. You were both very well aware that he could’ve won the fight in a heartbeat, but his Omega wanted him to submit and made him whine loudly as he watched you grab the gloves he had thrown off earlier.

He didn’t put up a fight when you moved to slip them back over his thin hands. Even though he may tease you or threaten you, he never actually wanted to harm you, so sitting obediently as you gave his hands attention wasn’t a problem. Once you had finished, you softly pressed a kiss to his palm which caused him to grin a little. “Asshole…Stop being so fucking soft.” He mumbled before bringing your face down to kiss him. 

He refused to have you pull away from him though. The second your lips left his, he pulled you back in for another sloppy kiss. His covered hands would cup your cheeks and then find themselves caressing down your shoulders, nails digging into your skin when you run your hands across his chest. He let out a low groan and moved to grab a fistful of your hair. “Sensitive, you knothead.” You only chuckled and ran your fingers across his chest once more, watching him bite back a moan while throwing back his head. “I know.”

Then your lips attacked his neck, instantly causing him to throw his head to the side to fully submit to you. Despite his quirk causing his skin to be rough, you never hesitated to dive in and mark the sensitive skin. As you gave his neck special attention, a series of praise and moans slipped past his lips before a loud giggle erupted from him.

“What’s so funny?” You asked as your lips searched for the scarred scent gland of the other. He simply hummed, shutting his eyes and moving his head so you could find it easier. “Thinking of you marking me…and other people getting jealous.” You simply smirked and nibbled the scent gland, receiving a hum of pleasure. “You getting off knowing that they couldn’t do shit about it?” He nodded with a big grin. “Yeah cause you’re mine-” He cut himself off with a loud moan when you started sucking on the scent gland. “H-Hey fucking give me a warning!” He spat, sending you a harsh glare. 

You pressed another kiss to his neck after leaving a dark mark over the place you would be returning to later. “Are you…Going to try bonding me there?” He asked only to receive a nod in return. “Fuck..” He mumbled, thinking about how visible it would be. “Would you stop worrying and let me handle things?” “If I did that, everything would turn to shit.” You grabbed his thigh causing the Omega to gasp and squirm under you. “Stop being an asshole.” He huffed before tugging on your hair once again, being bratty to challenge dominance.

His challenge didn’t last long though. The second your hand slammed against his neck, a surprised chirp erupted from his Omega, his eyes rolled back, and a blissful grin appeared on his face. “I forget how much you like that.” You chuckled, knowing that he loved having control taken from him this way. Your other hand reached down, grazing past his member which only forced another loud whine. “S-Such a bitch-” he groaned as more pressure suddenly appeared on his neck. “And you’re ungrateful.” 

A low hum from you made him know you were enjoying what you were seeing. “Jesus babe. You claim to not be a bitch, but you’re a fucking wreck.” He whined, feeling you cover your hand in his slick before lifting it to show him. “God-” he choked out a chuckle which only made you grin as well. Your hand released his neck as you quickly pecked him. “You’re a mess.” He smiled before shaking his head. “Will you just hurry up and breed my ass so I can take a nap. I’m tired of your mouth. Fucking make that shit useful.”

You rolled your eyes and wiped your hand off on Shigarakis’ thigh, making him whine and attempt to kick you. “Oh my god, stop being a little shit for five minutes will you?” You grabbed him by his thighs before pulling him close, wrapping his legs around your waist. A loud laugh came from him and he smiled at you. “Fucking make me.” You only hummed and slipped your hands under the hoodie he still wore, pinching his sensitive nipples once again. The omega only threw his head back and yelped, trying to kick you once again. 

You pulled away and pulled him close once again, grinding against him as he threw his head back. He could only whine and grip the bed as a loud moan filled your ears when you started to push into him. “Oh fuck!” He was not a quiet man, that was for sure. As you bottomed out, the Omega was whimpering and grinding against you. “H-Hurry up!” He growled, reaching up and grabbing your shoulders to pull you down for a sloppy kiss. His arms wrapped around you as your hips started to move, the pace starting slow to make sure he was comfortable but quickly picked up the more he begged. His hands moved down to your back, leaving deep scratches as he whimpered against your lips. The second your lips abandoned his to bite at his neck, his loud pants and content sighs filled the room.

When it was clear that he was getting close, you could feel your knot beginning to swell. He whimpered as tears of pain and pleasure leaked down the sides of his face. “A-Alpha! Alpha breed me please!” He choked out, crying out one more time as one of his hands moved to pump his neglected member. That was enough to send him over the edge, a loud string of swears erupting from him as he clenched around you. The second your knot fully locked the two of you together, you bit down against his scent gland. 

An overwhelming amount of emotions suddenly came over Tomura as he felt your teeth sink into his neck. He was quiet, only whimpering from the pain at first, but then he felt himself starting to get choked up. He trembled and moved to carefully pull you closer, his legs wrapping around your waist to keep you as close to him as possible. “Alpha..” He sniffled and shoved his nose in your neck, trying to calm down as his omega began chirping. “D-Don’t leave me…” His hand tangled in your hair as he felt your teeth leave his neck, instead being replaced with your lips softly pressing against the tender area again and again. 

“I never will, Omega. I promise you that. I’m all yours.” He sniffled and hiccuped before hugging you again, trying to process the emotions he was feeling. Sadness was there, but at the same time he felt honored? He felt special, and wanted. He felt as if somebody accepted who he was for once, and he didn’t feel alone. He wiped his eyes as you pulled away to kiss his tears. “Omega, Are you okay?” Your voice was soft and your protective Alpha was present in your voice. It caused a new wave of tears, but he slowly nodded while wiping them away. “Y-Yeah…I’m alright Alpha.” He sniffled and quickly pressed his lips to yours, pulling away because he was tired. 

“Rest Omega. You’re tired, and you shouldn’t have any heatwaves for awhile now. Especially with that mark.” He nodded and laid down, grinning when you snuggled into his neck and pressed a small kiss on his mark. “Alpha?” You simply hummed, feeling his fingers playing with your hair. “Do you love me?” A sleepy chuckle and a nod made him sigh softly. “I…think that might be what I’m feeling…B-But I don’t know. I bet it’s just the mark.” You shrugged and moved to peck his lips. “You don’t ever have to say it, Tomura. Just as long as you know that I’m here for you, and I’m all yours, then I’m happy.” He looked down at you and huffed softly, pressing chapped lips to your head. “You’re too good to me…” He yawned softly, feeling the adrenaline starting to go away. “Maybe one day…until then, thank you for taking care of me.” He mumbled, shutting his eyes as he felt sleep take over. “No problem Shiggy…Rest. I’ll be right here.” He hummed and allowed himself to sleep.

[rawrroarart]

Diakko!Odyssey AU

Most recent update: 8/28/2020 I added the comic of them meeting and also wrote a little snippet under the Diakko section

Welcome all. This post will officially be my master post of the Odyssey AU which will be updated as time moves forward so that I can link all of my related art to it. Yes I will not be posting multiple separate Updates in text posts how it’s traditionally done, but instead there will be information with each art and then a link back to this post. This is to avoid clutter since I hardly post on this blog anyway so it wouldn’t be fun having to scroll through all of my “OH ALSO THIS HAPPENS!” to get to art. Also I keep changing my mind on a lot of things in the AU so disregard information under the arts anyway as I will be posting here what is actually relevant.

Another key thing: I will be avoiding spoilers as much as possible until they are either shown in art or stated explicitly like I do in posts because I am the absolute worst at surprises. But anyway fear not for spoilers. Things said here are things that should be hinted at/known already. (and also I hardly know anything but maybe I will in due time)

Without further ado..

Introduction

What is the Odyssey AU?

The odyssey au is an alternative universe combining both Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey and Little Witch Academia into this (very random) adventuring story that takes place in ancient Greece. I guess I can’t say that it’s random since one of my favorite things about both ACO and LWA is the ties/references to mythology with the former obviously more rooted in the mythology and the latter just fun easter egg references. 

The general premise is that Diana is a misthios(mercenary) who travels with Akko, a shapeshifter, across Greece to find the answers pertaining to her origin.

The first art post: Diana and Akkoros

While living her life as a misthios, Diana searches for the answers pertaining to her origin and superhuman (described as “magical”) abilities along with Shapeshifter Atsuko, who commonly uses her powers for flight, but is not shy to switch to animals more suited for combat.

But I don’t know what Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey is?

That’s fair and understandable. Honestly my AU diverges a lot from the game so I don’t think knowledge of ACO is exactly necessary it’s just fun to understand the connections if you know them. Basically the key things you need to know from ACO as of now is: 

Kassandra (the protag) is known as the Eagle Bearer because she has an eagle that is known as the “eagle of Zeus” throughout the game. And they adventure together and Ikaros (the eagle) can hunt n kill things and See things and tbh he’s rly just a cool eagle but not a shapeshifter or anything lol

Kassandra is a Mercenary (misthios) which is basically a for Hire fighter/person who will p much do anything for money (if they want to do it) 

Kassandra is usually referred to a demi-god because of her powerful fighting abilities in which I mean yea she literally has powers and can blast people like a billion miles away (im jk but-)

Kassandra can tame animals (which ones depending on your skill level). You can tame uhh wolves, lynx, leopards, lions, bears. This is where my ‘shapeshifter’ idea began and it pretty much fit perfectly since Akko’s favorite spell is the shapeshifting one. 

Other than this, the most important things to know for this AU is just,, general mythology,, I guess? Or history? General history of mythology and how people worshipped/acted in accordance to the gods. And I’m not saying im going to be historically accurate obviously, nor even mythologically accurate (if that’s even a thing lol), I’m just here to have a good time and enjoy my gay mercenaries while talking about gods/goddesses as if I even know (thankfully I have my gf who is way more interested in mythology than me to help me)

I’ve only played like half of the Atlantis DLC after beating the game so whoopsie. I honestly really wanna replay everything now that I have this AU just so I can focus more on details and what I can yoink.

Characters

Diana

Art: 

Diana’s sketch-dump though she really needs a new one.

Diana in wheat field

Diana is the main protagonist of the story, but they pretty much both share the spotlight anyway. Her goal is to find out why she has certain powers (which I have officially decided, finally...) that aren’t exactly human. Since being a misthios was an easy way for her to travel and make drachmae, she chooses to do it while on their journey. Dammit I came up with her lore but as per the rules of this masterpost I can’t write about it until it’s out smh.. Ah I forgot that I already spilled that she is a goddess/demi-goddess (haven’t decided which yet) so yea that’s the Tea.

Described as very beautiful, there are rumors of her that state she is a pathway to Elysium (despite many people not deserving to go to Elysium). She is also known for her stoic face and a red bird that follows her around.

Diana is only found smiling with Akko and keeps buying Akko clothes despite her outer grievances each time Akko destroys something.

Diana was there with her mother at Chariot’s speech/performance.

Diana is skilled with any weapon.

Akko

Art:

Akko sketch-dump

Akko is a shapeshifter who travels with Diana across Greece in search for her idolized Chariot. Trusting both Diana’s skills and powers, Akko decides that Diana is the best choice to help achieve her goal as they adventure together.

Orphaned at a young age, Akko is, at first, very unfamiliar with how exactly to use her powers because there was no one around to teach her. She uses a bird most often because it is her first and most skilled transformation, but eventually learns to use stronger animals over time. Also eagle-vision is much more useful to Diana when they’re scoping the grounds anyway.

Like all shapeshifters, Akko has a symbol on her neck that signifies what she is. Due to the high prejudice against shapeshifters, Akko stays an animal to avoid being known, and also does not transform in front of others unless to kill them. If she has to be a human, Akko commonly wears a hood to hide her neck. 

Akko is one of the last shapeshifters to exist, and, despite Chariot being rumored to have finally been murdered, she still believes Chariot is alive. 

Akko was with her parents when they all attended Chariot’s final speech/show and here began her dream.

Akko can use a dagger if she needs to.

Side-characters

Akko’s Parents: Shapeshifters who were murdered when Akko was a young age.

Chariot: A shapeshifter who somehow had a voice and power that even normal people listened to. Akko idolizes Chariot because, despite the hate against shapeshifters, Chariot was well known and was an activist for shapeshifters despite the danger upon her head. Chariot mysteriously disappears one day for reasons unknown, and everyone but Akko assumes she was finally murdered.

Shapeshifters

Shapeshifters are defined as humans who possess the ability to transform to any animal at will. Unfortunately, because animals were seen as less than human, shapeshifters were defined as “punished by the gods” and so many decided shapeshifters needed to be removed from the world for sin. This causes a massacre of shapeshifters to the point that they are instead a rarity.

Shapeshifters do not transform with their clothes, and so either destroy them or lose them depending on their transformation.

All shapeshifters have a symbol on their neck which is what is used to find them. They can also be found by their human personalities/characteristics when they are an animal. 

If weakened, shapeshifters return to their human form and cannot transform until they are stronger.

Diakko

Art:

Meeting (Comes with a 500 word story!)

Misthios!Diana and Shapeshifter!Akko Sketch-dump

Diana and Bear!Akko

Fancy Diakko (the first continuity error lol)

Diana and Akko adventure together and do all of their quests together as a rag-tag chaotic duo. God I’m so excited for this section I wish I could make art FASTER but anyway:

They meet at about 17 years old but the main story takes place when they are 18+

The two get off to a wrong start when Diana saves Akko’s life. Because Akko is a shapeshifter, she’s high in value to kill probably by some cult idk but there is always a bounty on her head. When Diana saves her, Akko assumes Diana only did so to steal the drachmae from the original perpetrators, but Diana really just leaves her alone afterwards. Confused, Akko legit just starts tagging along LMAO she finds Diana interesting and so follows her and Diana’s just like what the fuck but eventually she gets over it. They become powerful assets to each other as Diana can now scope the skies with Akko and Akko is pretty much protected under Diana. Then when Akko gets much stronger Diana gets extra manpower and protection too. 

Akko enjoys staying in her human form to spend time with Diana.

Diana keeps buying Akko clothes just because it makes Akko happy (and also, despite Akko uncaring because her transformations are so frequent anyway, Diana doesn’t want her to be naked??)

Diana is easily persuaded by Akko and puts Akko’s interests first (feeds her first, considers what Akko would want, etc.)

[budugaapologist]

when you are reading this rant take full offense its 2am here and im mad as hell

fair warning this post is long as fuck and has several arguments pertaining to specific peeves i need to rant about before i go crazy. if you're not interested just keep scrolling it's not hard it's literally the core of social media navigation

you know what? ima say it.

black flag is the best ac game and deserves more recognition than just pirate drinking jokes because:

nearly every named character (sorry burgess and cockram) has development and personalities. cant say that for that many others in other games.

not too much fucking shit to do in it (unlike uhhhhhhhh every fucking other game in the franchise. stop it. i dont need 500 treasure chests in arno's game he already has an excellent revenue with the cafe. i dont need a ton of side quests. i dont need 30+ chests per london burough. i dont need a million question marks on my map. i dont need all of egypt or greece to be littered with shit to do. fuck this.).

unlocking shit is so much easier. edward knows where every treasure chest is and doesnt pay for treasure maps. and literally unlocking shit is so much easier.

base is slept on. its fucking cool. its fucking fun. its fucking useful as shit. its fucking pretty as all hell. fuck you.

good story, fun story, great dlc, relatable story (unless youre some bootlicking cowardly rich cunt) emotional story but not depressing (unity im looking at your ending. origins stop killing children.), satisfying end.

i can do the combat with one hand. you know what that means? i can eat and drink without pausing. i can reply to text messages without pausing. i can pet my dogs and cats while playing.

main character actually has changed by the end of the game a vast amount. motherfucker, edward changed more in his antó mission than ezio did in his trilogy.

if you dont complete all objectives you still have a passing score on the mission. do you know what its like to be raised to only get good grades on stuff and see yourself getting a 60% on a thing thats supposed to be a pass time just because you forgot something.

the naval combat isnt hard you just need practice. also i know the hunter ship sucks in the first mission you encounter but literally drop your sails but hold the wheel. once its in view let go. swim to it. take out the crew. swim back. bada bing bada boom go oneshot the crew. incredible, you're safe now.

legendary ship battles are really fucking cool and my mom doesnt yell at me for killing a giant beast for next to nothing.

the sea shanties and tavern songs slap.

farm animal petting simulator. not forced to kill dogs (ac3, odyssey).

obviously its good if the other games are just gonna copy paste it.

ed's tattoos are sick.

edward is literally the first canon bisexual. he literally says so in game. he literally fucking flirts with blackbeard. he literally was a pirate. why the fuck do you think birate is such an accurate pun.

diving outfit.

thicc.

the female characters dont have titties all over the place. even anne's boobs arent that big, which is good considering she is underage. the same cannot be said for many of the women in ezio's games.

guess who has a solid, interesting, and realistic personality. not kassandra or alexios thats for sure.

he is NOT moved by man pain (ezio, connor, bayek) to carry out his missions. he didn't want to be poor, he wanted to be able to provide for his family. he is just carrying out his dream to sail a ship. when he starts being "good", he is doing it out of guilt and shame on his past self (what, self reflection? someone, teach jacob this term), not because "wahh my girlfriend/mom/child/family died :'(", he wanted to make it up to his lost friends by making them proud and doing what they wished he had done. his regrets are in not being a better friend while mary was alive, not seeking out her killers (guards at fort). thatch's death crushed him, but he didn't thrust his anger on seeking revenge. and the characters that did die? they had personalities and development and were interesting and memorable. i cant tell you shit about cristina.

he is very respecting of women, especially for a white guy from the 1600s. he, as a teenager (under 17 i believe), attempted to save a woman he did not know and had no intentions of wooing (hey um ezio? you literally only were able to save cristina from being raped because you stalked her because you thought she was attractive. like thanks for saving her but uhh am i the only one that finds that creepy?) even though the odds of winning against three older men were stacked against him and he knew they could (and almost did) beat him to death. fuck if caroline wasnt there he would've been killed.

the modern day stuff is an excellent way to separate intense scenes and the little mini hacking games are fun puzzles. oh boohoo desmond isn't there? yes he was, half the things you hack literally give you desmond content.

rebecca's outfit fucking slaps.

from experience, its fun to play even if you dont know shit about the other ac games. pirates are cool and the story is easy to follow, just be prepared to find some of the other endings big letdowns or lots of the other games' missions boring.

is that fanservice that goes both ways but doesnt oversexualize any gender? why yes, it is!

stop reducing black flag to alcoholism jokes like yall constantly fucking do, it has so many other talking points and if you wanna make fun of something maybe choose something that isnt addiction. literally i make fun of edward constantly without pointing out his alcoholism it isnt that hard. if you're gonna make fun of edward for drinking rum when water in the 1700s often wasnt safe and making fun of him when he was depressed (he has multiple other intended self harming behaviors shown in game so no, he wasnt just drinking because its fun), why don't i see the same "wHy is aLL tHe WiNE gONe?" posts for arno? he was an alcoholic too. in fact arno and edward have a lot of the same forms of depression but oh, arno's a more serious character personality wise and isn't a pirate so his grieving isn't as funny.

and like, there are plenty of other things to make fun of with edward that might not make light of alcoholism because no, edward's drinking in the main story was not written to be a joke. here, a list of things i regularly make fun of him for:

this highwaisted man's got feminine hips

there is no reason for him to be that thicc

his bangs are a mess

his hair???? glows???? okay rapunzel.

his tatts that are just lines

actually you know what his tatts in general what do they mean ubisoft what even language are the words on his body in

how this whore opens the bottled messages on the beach. "ah yes, let me put this mysterious item in my mouth. i have no idea where its been. i could very well open it to read a note that says "i pissed on this""

"woman i just met... must respect her.. man i just met... im either going to give you a death threat, tease you, or flirt... sometimes multiple choices will be done......"

i mean he had the full right to be a bastard to walpole on the beach since he did try to be friendly but walpole was being to bitchy and needy. and like them being stranded wasnt edward's fault but walpole was still gonna make him build a ship and there is no reason for edward to trust walpole since after they get to havana he can easily just be like "thats a pirate, hang him." but like. the way he just immediately decides to steal his identity. legend.

why does he just blindly follow older men's orders like that

he trims his beard to a very odd location. i know it isn't a flattering pose but like. look at the underside of his jaw.

"how many references to dog behavior can we put in one character"

phobia of sleeping in a bed

"you saved my life i am eternally grateful."

edward are you seriously arguing with your eight year old daughter about the difference between a boat and a ship

where are your tanlines

how did he not die of skin cancer first

edward probably doesnt have any body hair because ubisoft didnt want his legs to glow in the dark too

look at his marooned outfit. bitch what the fuck is on your shirt. and where are your hair ties.

his dramatic beauty guru smokey eyes

he held that sword by the blade in the single madman quest. wh

anyway, the long run of this is, if you're gonna reblog an edward post from me specifically to make fun of an overused joke, go fuck yourself.

[nightinngales]

If it's not weird to ask, do you have any advice for staying motivated while writing? And just how to write better in general? With the first question, your fics inspired me to start writing again, and while ive got a chapter finished Im having a hard time staying motivated to write it despite still being really into my ideas i had for the fic

for me a lot of it comes with personal investment, and also i admit outside motivation is a big part of it for me as well. however, there’s a couple tricks i have that may help you out. forgive the long answer lol

personal investment: unfortunately no one can really help you with that. it’s going to be a lot easier to write something that you’re personally invested in seeing through to the end. on my end, i have multiple avenues when writing isn’t working. if i’m going through a block, i might decide to draw some seres fanart just for kicks, or i’ll play a bit of the game to get into eres’ head a bit more. i usually end up finding that after drawing or playing a while, i end up wanting to write anyways. 

consider making a basic outline. what are the concepts you’re most excited about writing? where in the story do they take place? when i first started writing vigilance, my outline was essentially just the working titles of the separate acts i had planned. it doesn’t have to be a complex outline - mine was initially just, for example: “act 4 - bruiant mansion”. 

you don’t have to write in order. one of the things i would get stuck on initially was feeling like i had to write every chapter in order, when i was in the concept phase. but when i started writing i knew there were things i wanted to write and hadn’t gotten to yet - so instead i created an “Excerpts” file. These were just excerpts from plot points or story beats i had inspiration to write immediately, but in different parts of the story - i had little excerpts from acts 1-6 and even parts of the ending all written up before i had started writing the full thing. it gave me a “hook” to get started with, and that i could expand upon. 

don’t bog yourself down with adhering 100% to a plan. sometimes plans don’t work out. if you’d seen some of the initial writing i did for vigilance - there are entire scenes or plot lines that never made it into the final fic that’s on ao3. not because those scenes were bad, but because as i reached the points i had already written, i found i wanted to change them, or that they didn’t quite line up anymore. 

complex concepts? make notes, connect the dots. act 5 is where vigilance became a lot more complex very quickly. there were a whole host of concepts i needed to introduce and connect in a cohesive manner, though i generally write from the seat of my pants, so to speak, i needed a way to make sure i was on track. i use scrivener  to do my outlining in - usually just with scenes and a general explanation of what i want to cover in them. i also write primarily in scrivener and then transfer to word/ao3 after. 

validation/support from friends. honestly this is a big part of it for me - getting comments on my fic, whether from friends who read it, or strangers on ao3, is a huge part of my motivation. seeing that other people are enjoying what i’m writing makes me want to write more. i would only say to be careful that not ALL of your motivation comes from outside - because you may not get a huge response at first depending on the fandom. also, be careful not to judge your success on what other authors get - there’s no end to how many factors contribute to the traction you’ll get on ao3. don’t be too hard on yourself if it takes a while for your fic to pick up steam, or if it doesn’t line up with the biggest fics in your fandom. 

as far as improving your writing goes - the only way you improve writing is by writing more. write a LOT. i’m not going to tell you you should be studying authors and trying to emulate their style - i think some people do that, and there’s nothing wrong with it, but i think there’s also something to be said for developing your own voice when writing. it also depends on what vibe you’re going for - is your writing aiming to be more high brow and flowery, or are you looking to write something more accessible where a more YA-style would fit better? etc. 

also, consider writing off the top of your head. don’t spend 30 minutes trying to craft one perfect sentence - you’ll only burn yourself out that way. write, and let it come to you naturally - you can always go back and edit what you’ve written later to make it flow better. the point is to get something down while you’ve got the juice for it. i typically write every chapter in 1-2 long writing sessions and then go back and edit wording or formatting later when i reread it. 

most importantly, take breaks. do you know how long i’ve been working on vigilance? it’s only been a few months since i started posting to ao3, but Vigilance has been in the works for well over a year prior to me posting the first act on ao3. i didn’t work on it constantly. i would have bursts of motivation where i would crank out chapter after chapter - for example, i believe i finished acts 4&5 within the span of a month. but other times i may take weeks worth of “time off” where i am actually pretty uninspired - it’s very easy to burn out if you don’t take breaks, especially if what you plan to write is going to take a long time to finish. work at your own pace and don’t beat yourself up if you’re not writing on the daily. 

some screenshots below the cut for scrivener/fanart i draw for motivation (note: has spoilers for act 5, if you haven’t read that yet): 

[journaloftomfooleryandjapery]

All the TOP 10 OF THE DECADE posts made me want to make one of my own, so here’s my 10 fave games this decade:

Yakuza 0  Shovel Knight  Nier Automata  Metal Gear Rising  Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX Final Fantasy XV   Scott pilgrim vs the world the game Undertale Persona 5  Doom

Danganronpa 2, New Vegas, Touhou Luna Nights, Katana Zero and Mario Odyssey all only barely missed out, and it was a tough decision not to include them. I loved the shit out of those games but thinking it through I decided they were just slightly less loved by me than the above.

Below the cut are some extended thoughts (of varying length) on the games included:

Just CTRL F if you wanna find a specific one

Yakuza 0

Every Yakuza game is delightful and this is definitely the best one, in my opinion. The Yakuza games appeal to me for a lot of reasons: the combat, the story, the variety of activities, the look of it all and the music. I feel like its a very unique game experience with its blend of weird in-depth side activities, serious crime drama, manly man masculine combat friendship melodrama, metal gear-esque convoluted conspiracies and a surprisingly compassionate view of the world it takes place in. 

The combat is what drew me in initially because it just feels good, the feedback of stomping on a dudes face in yakuza is delivered perfectly, and the attacks are brutal, hard and flashy. Its a very solid and satisfying combat system and in 0 its the best it has ever been. The ability to switch between 3 different and equally fun fighting styles on the fly really lets you mix things up and adapt your approach, every style feels fun and useful. If i had to pick a favorite it would be slugger, but its a tough choice, and they are all very viable and FUN.

Yakuza 0 also gets big points for having the best story in the series. The protagonists feel much more interesting in this era, the fights feel more earned in this game than others, the relationships are incredibly touching (I’m almost mad majima didnt stay with makoto) and the substories (and some parts of the main story) are the funniest they’ve ever been. Stuff like the quasi-stealth mission where you have to make sure women don’t see you buying a porn magazine for a child, and the extended scene of kiryu trying to guess the right business manners for a meeting had me laughing so much i was i was almost in physical pain.

The extensive business and host club substories get you tons of extra game content and are good enough to almost be there own game. The other games in the series have extended side activites of varying quality, but i think 0 had a rare case of all of these being, basically, perfect. The team obviously agrees since host club management came back repeatedly, but never as good as it was here.

Being set in the 80s elevates almost everything in the game because of the outfits, money flying out of every enemy you attack, the classic sega games you can play at the arcade (Outrun is so much fun and I’d have never have given it a proper go otherwise) and the disco minigame everyones made a meme out of (that music is so catchy).

As a final note this game has the best boss fights and music in the series, which is a very high standard to surpass when you look at the rest of the series. The dual final boss fights, the recurring boss for kiryu and almost every majima fight are highlights of the entire series for me. 

0 is going to end up being one of the few games I’ll never sell my copy of because i want it available for me to play forever, its a complete delight.

Shovel Knight

This game has been analysed to hell and back, so i wont have much original to say i suppose. Admittedly i did enjoy the first campaign but it didnt completely win me over, plague knights campaign and beyond was what really made this an all time greats for me. It’s one of very few games that gets the NES+SNES platforming appeal 100% right and essentially surpasses most games of the day, with almost perfect pacing, challenge and level design. IT helps that the whole world and story and look is charming as all hell. It’s an easy game to love and the more you play it the more that feels justified. Being PACKED with great content is also a plus. If you liked the first campaign you can just keep going through a set of campaigns about as good that only really rehash some level assets. I would say its one of the best 2D platformers ever for me, if not quite my true number 1.

ALSO JAKE KAUFMAN KNOCKS IT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK

Since i have little else to add to the shovel knight discussion, here’s my ranking/thoughts on each campaign

Plague of shadows. BEST storyline, great levels with a really cool gameplay gimmick, the characters are all cute and the ending really makes me feel for him. both sorry for him at first and then a very real AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW for LOVE

King of cards. king knight is just fun as hell to play as, he doesnt have that many tools but his movement is just crazy fun and i love the flair in all his animations. also has that rad final boss. joustus is ok i guess.

Shovel of hope. uuuuuuh what can i even say about this. its good, and the melancholy dream bits add a lot to the mood of the story. we’ve already analysed this campaign within an inch of its life i dont think i can say anything new. wish we could fight the battletoads on pc.

Specter of torment. still fun and i appreciate the tone change, but i didnt care as much for the characters and the mega man-esque level select doesnt suit shovel knight imo. specter knight has a lot of fun movement options though. mainly i just love GRINDING and the diagonal slash. i dont give a fuck about reize

Nier Automata

I feel a tiny bit ashamed i have so little to say about this considering it is one of the most emotional experiences i have ever had with a story. If i lsten to the final version of weight of the world i still cry just from remembering this game and how it made me feel. i think its one of the greatest narratives of the century but i can barely get across the appeal to anyone who hasnt already played it. its a story about hope, despair and the nature of the human race that never feels like its preachy or pretensious or taking on more than it can handle. it made me feel all kinds of emotions deeply and intensely, it genuinely made me burst into tears about 10 times, maybe more. even putting aside the ggrand narrative, theres so many cool character moments and bits of world building and visual eements and tragic little side stories that you would need a whole book to talk about them all while doing any real justice to them. i loved it so much that im paying £70 to see an orchestra do the soundtrack live. I want to hug and kiss 2b and 9s better. i just love it deeply and i find it hard to explain why it makes me feel that way, but its a dark beautiful and hopeful story where every moment feels earned. the despair of the story giving way to genuine hope with the rest of the world helping you fight for it is such an intensely emotional moment that you could never replicate outside of this kind of story and medium. how the fuck do i explain that to anyone that doesnt already get it. I’m glad this game exists

Metal Gear Rising 

Well, complete tone shift here. Platinum made a lot of great action games in the last decade that all dig into that same itch for DODGE SLOW MOTION BANG BANG BANG alongside great soundtracks, visuals and awesome set piece moments. Just intense, flashy, awesome combat. Picking a favorite of the decade was the hard part, because a platinum game had to be one of my faves of the decade. The closest was transformers, but mgr has a couple of things about it that put it above the rest of the platinum catalog for me.

The story actually works very well at still being metal gear while in the platinum formula, its about the cycle of violence and FINDING YOUR OWN PURPOSE and it works weirdly well. The strangest part is that it feels like a legitimate sequel to metal gear 4 tonally while still being the crazy action game it is

Raiden is just super fun to play as, while I’ll always miss the DODGE SLOWMO in a platinum game parry and zandatsu give a great flow to fights and there’s real exhilaration to parrying a hard chain of attacks and tearing out a bunch of enemies spines at once every time

raiden is also just  a fun protag, it truly allows me to embrace that kind of stereotypical edgy cool anime swordsman he embodies

BEST PLATINUM SOUNDTRACK DO NOT @ ME

Bosses just rule

one of the best final bosses ever, in my opinion? maybe that’s controversial, but armstrong gets an insane amount of characterization and pure PRESENCE out of such a small amount of screen time and the fact he feels like such a perfect rival to raiden so quickly is kind of nuts to me. within about half an hour you are ready for the ultimate final showdown with everything at stake, and then the gameplay 100% delivers on that with a fight that is challenging as hell and just feels climatic and intimidating. its a little thing, but having this dude just smack you around with his hands and almost no fighting skill after a game filled with crazy flippy cyborg ninjas makes him feel TOUGH and the way you finish him off? it just rocks, plain and simple. I don’t think i need to justify slices a massive dudes chest open and ripping out his giant still beating robot heart as the music climaxes and our cool edgy protag literally says WE’RE DONE HERE. truly, it has to be this way.

Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX 

For fast twitchy 2d platformers this barely beat out Katana Zero and Touhou Luna Nights, but i think its just a little better. The skill ceiling on this game is high as hell and once you really get to grips with it, its an experience you cant find anywhere else. its just satisfying as hell to be able to get through the point where you can ZOOM  through these levels by making use of copen’s dash and lock-on and weapons well enough. once you get good enough to get through a hole level without touching the ground, you just cant go back. I liked this enough to get an S rank on almost every level. this game just rules, man.

story, art and music are all great as well. but they pale in importance next to zippy jetpack zoom zoom fun time.

also great for having a cool twist that i genuinely did not see coming at all

Final Fantasy XV   

For context, my experience of FFXV was not the base game so i cannot personally address the concerns of the version at launch, which i hear from others was a total mess! The game has been updated and changed so much that it is probably almost unrecognizable aside from the absolute base aspects of it. The version i am talking about is, as far as we know, the “final” version released right before Episode Ardyn. There was of course an update after this, but it only added DLC compatibility and a few items, so it means very little in the grand scheme. I also played all of the dlc and watched all the periphery material to get the full, messy disjointed experience. it is also worth noting that the only other FF game i have played is the classic title Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball. I feel it important to tell you this before getting into things so that you can have a full idea of the perspective i come at the game from.

This was chosen over Mario Odyssey and someone will probably kill me for that. I just think its a great emotional story that does a fantastic job of making you care for all the characters, and the world feels massive and full of cool stuff to see. It’s my favorite open world game and i love The Boys.  its not the kind of thing i usually play but i think it genuinely had a great story and its a very fun game to just explore and spend time in. ffxv truly understands the emotional bond between The Lads and it is fun to kill big monsters with your party

(they kinda ruin the last cutscene in english, in japanese he says I LOVE YOU GUYS and it makes me cry but in english he goes U GUYS ARE THE BEST which just isnt the same. a small nitpick though. a lot of this game made me cry regardless, its just great at creating an emotional bond)

I admire the insane level of ambition in the visuals and scope, and i bought every dlc for it because it was just that good. the ifrit boss fight and all the giant monsters are just amazingly epic in scale. the “found a cool rock” post is what i truly admire about this game summed up. 

all the ancillary material for the game is great and worth getting into, with the exception of the Comrades multiplayer expansion. Everything else adds depth to the story and the world without being entirely necessary for you to get through the story. the anime and the dlc all really feel worth getting into without being something you have to see to get The Full Experience

the giant monsters are cool

Scott Pilgrim vs the World: The Game

Being from 2010 this game only just makes it in, but it was my favorite beat em up this decade and a source of great nostalgia for me. It had a pretty big impact on music and art tastes in regards to games, and in retrospect this games existence was very much a dream team scenario. Paul Robertson is a great sprite artist who does a lot of good work, Anamanaguchi have gone on to become one of my favorite bands (another winter is still one of their best tracks imo) and at the time this came out i was obsessed with scott pilgrim. That plus the beat em up gameplay makes this kind of a perfect blending of a lot of my specific tastes. Playing this brings me back to the time in my school life that i played it very distinctly, a more comfortable time in my life for sure, and i think the game still stands up excellently. I hope that someday it will get a rerelease so others can enjoy it. I give this another play through every year or so, but i wish id gotten the dlc while it was still available

Doom

ITS VIOLENT ITS FAST ITS FUN ITS METAL

i like this game because of the intense adrenaline rush and violent catharsis it gives me, essentially a constant dopamine rush

fun game good

Undertale

I’m glad i got to this before the massive wave of spoilers and popularity came about. It’s a great story with some fun gameplay, and i think SANS UNDERTALE was one of the best boss fights this decade. Its a shame that for so many new players this experience is going to be ruined by spoilers

Persona 5 

Danganronpa 2 and fallout new vegas were close contenders for this last spot. I actually made a post about my thoughts on this game before https://journaloftomfooleryandjapery.tumblr.com/post/184341270554/nue-is-great-love-his-goofy-design-when-life-will but essentially 

Essentially, its got a great cast of characters, a cool slick look, great monster designs, a fun gameplay loop of collecting monsters and grinding stats while waiting for the next big event, and a surprisingly good story

No idea if royal is any good, but its on a pretty small list of games that i might actually take the time to replay

[pinksausageduo]

bae jinyoung|best friends to lovers part 2

gif @extraongdinary​

member: bae jinyoung genre: fluffy summary: will the wanna one guys plan work? after years of friendship will you and jinyoung be more than friends in the end? let’s hope so requested: yes! I'm so sorry it took so long part 1 | part 2 (final)

it was the night of the game

you were in a tight cheerleading crop top

and the classic cheerleading skirt

you had a practiced the routine with the cheerleaders

and you had your part down

it was really challenging to be a temporarily cheerleader and you had even more respect for them than before

you were actually kind of excited

contrary to your complaints of being a cheerleader

it was a weird feeling being with the cheerleaders than your soccer girls

but it was for one game 

plus you loved supporting jinyoung and the other guys

you were waiting with all the other cheerleaders for the signal to go out to the stadium

there was a blare

and you put on your best smile as you ran out with the other girls

unbeknownst to you jinyoung had his eyes trained you

he couldn’t help but break out into a huge grin

you looked absolutely stunning

but you looked beautiful all the time so it wasn’t too much of a difference

even when you were sweating buckets in your soccer uniform

“damnnnn y/n is looking fine” seongwoo said light heartedly

jinyoung couldn’t help but send a glare at him

seongwoo chuckled at him then said “jinyoung just ask her out”

“it’s not that easy” jinyoung whined

“yes it is, you say y/n will you be my girlfriend and then boom done” daniel said exasperatedly

“just leave him be, he needs to do it is own time” minhyun gently said 

jinyoung looked at him gratefully

but minhyun smirked when jinyoung was turning back thinking of the plan 

“guys shut up the cheerleaders are starting” sungwoon said while all the guys attention was on you

you performed the routine flawlessly

giving the right expressions, matching the beats and doing the more down scale tricks

“y/n was really good, damn!” guanlin said with a smile

“of course she was, it’s y/n” jihoon added proudly

jihoon was probably the second closest guy to you out of the group

you see the guys and you give them a quick wave and blow them a kiss

they wave at you back excitedly

you see the soccer guys leave knowing it was time for the game

both teams come on the field

after deciding the sides the match starts

jinyoung takes one look at you and clenches his jaw 

he wants to do well for you 

not because you expect him too but you were and always have been his motivation

jinyoung suddenly got possession of the ball

and runs down the field with it calling for the attackers

he sees woojin in the corner of his eye and smirks this was his and woojin’s classic move

jinyoung kicks the ball to woojin sharply then runs straight to the goal

with perfect timing woojin kicks the ball upwards and towards the goal

but jinyoung is there to header it straight into the upper corner of the goal

and their plan is executed perfectly

while jinyoung has a bright smile with the whistle 

woojin and him do a manly grapple hug

the move took ages to get down but they did after hours of practice

the score board marks 1-0

everyone from your school was cheering

not as loud as you though

you were jumping up and down

waving your pom poms in the air

sungwoon was taking photos to tease you later 

time passed and it was a super close match

the score was 4-3 to your school

there was only 5 minutes left

and there was a very thick tension in the air

the other school was in possession

and was passed the midfield

jinyoung was running right back to defence line to provide help

suddenly the strongest attacker of the opposing team kicked the soccer ball straight for the goal

in horror it was headed for a space where the goalie couldn’t reach

without even a second thought jinyoung blocked the space by jumping between the ball and the goal 

SMACK

you could hear the sound from really far away

and everyone cringed at the painful sound 

suddenly you heard a blare which meant the game ended

jinyoung was completely winded you didn’t even care about anything or anyone else

you sprinted there before even anyone could react

“jinyoung-ah are you okay? jinyoung-ah can you hear me?” you asked extremely worried 

jinyoung wasn’t even moving but you could see him breathing 

suddenly you could feel a crowd around you two

“EVERYONE GIVE JINYOUNG SOME SPACE OKAY?” jisung threatened loudly

you could hear a lot of people gulp as they stepped away

“jinyoung please tell me if you can hear me?” you say desperately

“can you just get to the kissing bit or “cpr”” teased daehwi

knowing perfectly well jinyoung was faking it since he was the one who usually woke up jinyoung

“yes please do” piped up guanlin since he was usually the backup to wake up jinyoung

you just glared at the two

now understanding jinyoung was faking it because the two were too sweet to say that in a serious situation

seongwoo, daniel and jaehwan a different story

then you poked jinyoung’s eye

“OW LADY THAT HURT!!!” jinyoung shouted while bolting right up

“WELL THAT’S FOR GIVING ME THE SCARE OF A CENTURY!” you shouted right back

everyone was just snickering and chuckling at you two

“WELL I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO KISS ME” jinyoung shouted right back

then he blushed REALLY RED knowing that everyone heard that and he really shouldn’t of blurted it out

you just gape at him trying to process what he said

minhyun smirked knowing the plan was to put to action now

“KISS KISS KISS” he chanted

seongwoo and daniel with smirks of their own joined instantly

then in a few seconds everyone was

you look at jinyoung and you realise both of your cheeks are bright red

at least you knew he had feelings for you which made you all soft and warm

so you muttered “oh what the hell” and everyone could still hear you though

and without any warning to jinyoung

you leaned right in and softly planted a kiss on his lips

both of you instantly melted into the kiss

it was soft and sweet

and jinyoung couldn’t help but smiling

you probably died right there and went to heaven there

the two of you eventually parted to really loud cheers and a lot of cries of

“FINALLY!!”

“i think this was really overdue but i like you y/n, i like you a lot, your my best friend and no one else could even compare to you. so will you be my girlfriend?” jinyoung said sweetly to you

“i’d love to jinyoung, i’d absolutely love to” you say happily

still no believing the moment you were waiting for years was happening

“OUR PLAN WORKED! OUR PLAN WORKED!” screamed the wanna one guys

you look at them with a dangerous glint your eye “you guys had a plan?”

the guys gulped at your expression and looked a little fearful

jisung squeaked out a maybe

“any bets you placed on us will be paid to us understood?” you said with pnash and sass, arms crossed and everything

'but but but but” seongwoo started

“no buts” you said sternly

“ugh fine whatever” he huffed 

you softened your expression and smiled at them

“but thank you, come on we need to go to have celebratory pizza” you say sweetly

they all smiled at you and gave you a group hug where everyone was just laughing and smiling

it was great 

afterwards 

jinyoung put his arm around your shoulder looked at you in awe and said to you

“i still can’t believe your my girlfriend”

“well you better believe it buddy because you’re stuck with me” you say playfully

‘sounds like heaven to me” jinyoung says kissing you on the forehead

LMAO IM SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE SO LONG TO POST WHOOPS I'll be honest was considering to delete this on multiple occasions so i didn’t have to post pt 2 BUT IVE DONE IT!! its pre short tho like i expected. oh well HOPE YALL LIKED IT!! il be trying to get jihoon heirs out soon then a badboy fic for my collab with iris. as always please leave me feedback and don't be afraid to pop in and just send me a message

[zoemurph]

to have a friend, chapter eight: $192

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

holy shit do NOT expect updates from me this fast after november ends!!!!! i'm frantically doing nano as fast as possible and i am MAJORLY fucking myself over. after this is posted i'm writing 4 essays and catching up on readings (whoops)

this chapter has sooo much going on but a huge thank you to both sarah and flor for making it possible with your very different but very good ideas <3

warnings: depression, anxiety, references to suicide/past suicide attempts/self harm, some poor eating habits, a few mentions of drugs

enjoy and please read the end note on ao3~

High school is bulshit. Connor has known this since he first stepped into the annoyingly bright hallways freshman year because some asshole decided skylights were a good idea. It’s six hours of bullshit, with a bullshit twenty three minute lunch thrown somewhere in the middle.

It’s a lot of bullshit.

Somehow, having a friend makes it…less bullshit. A fake friend. Evan makes everything suck a little less. There’s something to look forward to when he shows up at ass o’clock in the morning. There’s a reason to push through the day, even if it’s just seeing Evan’s smile as he puts books back into his locker. Tuesdays are arguably the best because Connor gets a solid twenty extra minutes with Evan at lunch.

Which in and of itself is its own can of bullshit. A can that Connor should not have opened, but here they fucking are.

There are a few times where Connor genuinely considers telling Evan about his feelings. Platonic and romantic. And then he laughs at himself because no fucking way. On what planet would Evan Hansen like him in any capacity?

Connor is lucky that he’s been able to hold on to Evan as a fake friend. He’s not going to push his luck.

Every time he smiles at Evan he pushes his luck a little more. Every time he asks Evan to hang out without having a legit reason for it he pushes his luck. Every time he thinks about Evan—

Connor focuses on friendship. He focuses on friendship because he will settle for friendship. He would give anything to be Evan’s real friend.

It’s ridiculous but it’s true.

Connor is in way too fucking deep.

“Where have you been?” Larry asks from the couch when Connor opens the front door.

Connor rolls his eyes. “I was with Evan.” And Jared. It was weird but not the worst. Jared kept claiming he could beat Evan at Mario Kart and kept losing and had to buy the pizza. Even if all Connor got out of those three hours was the priceless look on Jared’s face when Connor rolled his pizza up like a burrito with the toppings on the outside, it was worth it.

“Hm.”

Connor shuts the door and pulls off his boots. He drops them by Zoe’s converse. “I told Zoe where I was.”

“So you’re talking to your sister again?”

Connor pauses. He was going to go grab a drink, but apparently not. “Why do you care?”

Larry lowers his phone. “Because she’s your sister.”

“…and?”

“How long have you known Evan?” Larry asks.

Connor frowns. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Answer the question, Connor.”

Connor grimaces at the sharp tone. “I don’t fucking know—”

“Language.”

“—like seven months? Why does it matter?”  

Larry slides his phone into his pocket. “And how long have you known Zoe?”

Connor scoffs. “Seriously? Are you about to yell at me for spending time with my friend?”

Larry crosses his arms. “He’s always around.”

“Yeah, because he’s my friend and I like him? Zoe’s with her friends all the time, and you don’t say shit about that.” Connor walks into the dining room. If Larry wants to have this conversation, he either has to follow Connor or yell.

“Connor,” Larry says warningly.

“Maybe Zoe doesn’t want to spend time with me,” Connor snaps. Because Zoe doesn’t. And that’s fine. Connor has made her life hell so he doesn’t blame her for not wanting to have anything to do with him.

Larry stalks into the dining room and sometimes Connor forgets that Larry is where he gets his height. “That’s not the point.”

Connor throws his arm out. “Then what is the point!?”

“You have a better relationship with Evan than with your sister.”

Connor stares at him. “Why does this matter.” For some reason this hurts. It stings like he’s just submerged papercut covered hands in lemon juice. It hurts too much for fire to keep burning.

“You’ve known him for less than a year,” Larry says, voice low and dangerous.

“You think you’d be happy that I’ve found an actual friend,” Connor says numbly. The lie burns his mouth.

“You spend far more time with him than Zoe—”

“He actually wants to be around me!” Connor protests. Because he will listen to his father tear him down, but he won’t listen to him say anything about Evan. Not Evan. “Zoe—”

“Is your sister!” Larry yells. Connor feels his blood run cold. “When was the last time you were actually a brother to her!?”

Connor feels sick. The world cracks and crumbles around the edges and his insides freeze and shatter. He laughs. It hurts his chest. “When was the last time you were a father to me?” he whispers.

Larry’s expression doesn’t change. It stays hard. Cold and distant.

When was the last time— 

Connor holds eye contact as long as he can. But he’s broken and the world around him is numbing and dying.

So he leaves.

He pushes past Larry, dropping his eyes to the floor with his tongue heavy in his mouth. He shoves his boots on and throws the door open.

“Where are you going?” Larry yells. Because he can keep doing this. He can do this for hours.

Connor looks out at their driveway. The dying grass and dead plants in neat rows. Brown and wilted and dying and dead. “Why do you care?” he asks.

He slams the door behind him.

It feels good to have a door to slam.

—«·»—

His feet bring him to the playground. There aren’t many places to go in this town.

It’s getting dark. There’s a singular light by the school that still turns on with the other streetlights. It illuminates parts of the playground in a hazy glow.

It doesn’t look real.

Connor sits under the stairs that lead up to the slide. If he closes his eyes, he can bring himself back to elementary school. He digs his hand into the wood chips, cold and jagged and stabbing at his skin. He can pretend. He can hear screaming and laughter and kids running up the stairs trying not to slip. Kids hiding under here, whispering secrets to each other. Someone throws the woodchips at someone else and gets yelled at. They play clapping games and tic-tac-toe in the dirt. They pull up grass and throw it in the air and fall off the monkeybars and fight over the swings and stand under the trees and play in the mud—

Connor takes a shaky breath as hot tears run down his cheek. He scrubs them away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

He hates crying. He hates how it makes him feel. He hates how tears feel, he hates the runny nose, he hates the sobbing and the ragged breathing and how it makes him feel weak.

He sniffs and wipes away more tears. God, he needs to get high. But he refuses to go home and his stash is running out because he’s low on cash because he’s been spending it all on Evan.

Evan.

Connor flexes his hands — they’re cramped from the cold and from the fists he’s been squeezing them in — and pulls his phone out of his pocket. At least it hasn’t shut off from the cold yet, that’s happened to him before and it’s annoying to deal with.

From: Connor To: Evan      tell zoe im fine just needed to blow off steam      emphasize im not with you

He’s surprised he can type actual words let alone with no spelling mistakes. His hands are cold and shaking. He presses his phone against his forehead and takes a slow breath.

Fuck.

Every atom in his body wants to walk to Evan’s right now. He just wants to be near Evan. There’s something about Evan that’s undeniably calming, even though Evan could be described as nervous energy barely held together in a human form. Something about Evan that makes him feel less at war with himself.

But he already used up his time with Evan for the day. Even just texting Evan feels like too much.

His phone buzzes against his forehead.

From: Evan To: Connor      Ok  j ust did!!      Is everyhting ok??? Do you need ot talk ??

Connor stares at the message. He kind of want to cry again, which fucking sucks. And he told Evan that he would tell him if something was wrong but— no.

From: Connor To: Evan      no not now      maybe later

Connor stares at their conversations.

He asked Evan about cats at four in the morning once. Evan hadn’t responded until he woke up two hours later — good — but when he did he had a bunch of random cat facts. And pictures of Jared’s cat to share.

It felt like friendship. That’s what friendship feels like, right? Connor doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. But he thinks, somehow, he’s broken things. Whatever they are. Because he’s too attached. He’s too involved. Everything is too much.

He digs his fingers into the woodchips again.

Connor can’t decide if it’s better if Evan likes him or hates him.

—«·»—

Zoe texts him. He knows because his phone buzzes and he looks down and he sees her name right above Evan’s. Connor’s phone is at 4%. He turns on airplane mode and locks it without reading any of their texts.

Connor rests his chin on his knees and stares ahead into the darkness.

He doesn’t want to walk home. He knows he has to or he’ll probably freeze to death but that wouldn’t be too bad, would it?

No, that’s a bad idea.

Connor stretches his legs out in front of him. They feel weird, he’s spent so long with them pulled up against his chest. If he stands he might fall over.

He can’t feel his hands when he gets up off the ground. He climbs out from under the slide and holds onto the railing as his legs remember how they’re supposed to work.

He’s tired.

Connor squints into the darkness as he leaves the playground. The streets are so poorly lit in this area that he’s probably going to fall and break something. That’s what happens when people don’t use an area. They don’t care for it. And then some asshole teenager breaks his fucking leg walking home in the dark.

His phone would probably die before he could call for help too.

Connor stuffs his hands in his pockets and starts walking. He knows he should probably pay more attention, but he barely pays attention to the few cars on the roads as he makes his way down the sidewalk. As he gets into a more residential area, it gets a little brighter.

He looks up to cross a street and locks eyes with a doe standing in someone’s yard. It stares at him for a long moment before bounding away into the darkness.

Connor looks both ways and crosses the street, stepping around a puddle that’s starting to freeze over.

He stops when he gets to the bottom of his driveway.

If Larry tries to talk to him when he goes inside, he’ll leave. Connor’s already decided. He doesn’t know where he’ll go, but he’ll leave.

Connor huffs. He really just wants his bed right now.

The door is unlocked when he tries the doorknob. He frowns and slowly pushes the door open. A lamp is on in the living room, though the rest of the rooms are dark.

He quietly takes his boots off and closes and locks the door as softly as possible.

“Connor?” Cynthia asks as soon as he takes another step into the house.

Connor sighs. “Yeah it’s me.”

She gets up from the couch and hurries over to where he’s standing by the front door. “I was so worried,” she whispers, reaching up to touch his cheek. “Oh, Con, you’re freezing.”

“It is November,” Connor tries to joke. The singular stings.

The crease in Cynthia’s forehead gets deeper.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“Zoe said Evan texted her— were you with him?”

Connor pulls away. “No,” he says sharply. “I wasn’t. I don’t spend every fucking moment with him, god.” He walks toward the kitchen. His hands are still ice and he needs something to warm them.

“I never said you did.” Cynthia follows him. “Your father—”

“Don’t.”

Cynthia sighs. “Connor, we can’t pretend that didn’t happen.”

“I’m going to try.” He debates making coffee, but all that will get from his mom is a disapproving look. He reaches for Zoe’s mint hot chocolate instead.

Cynthia makes a frustrated noise. “Where did you go, Connor?”

“Out.” He grabs the first mug he sees. He resists the urge to drop it when he realizes it’s one of Larry’s, old and orange and so well used that the logo has washed off the side of it.

“Were you out smoking again?”

“No.” He almost wants to laugh. He wishes. He takes the milk out of the fridge and pours it into the mug. He’s too tired to do anything more than microwave milk right now.

“Are you sure?”

Connor sighs and turns to Cynthia with the mug in his left hand. “Mom, you would know if I had been high tonight. Weed smells? Remember?” He brushes past her and puts the mug in the microwave.

Cynthia watches him with sad eyes. She always looks sad and it’s Connor’s fault which is… It’s kind of shitty. “I was terrified,” she says softly.

Connor grimaces.

“I kept thinking… I was so worried that maybe you…”

If she starts crying— Connor doesn’t actually know what he’ll do. “I was fine,” he promises. “I wasn’t going to do anything.”

“Would you tell me if you were going to?”

Connor can’t meet her eyes. He watches the numbers count down on the microwave. He pulls the door open before it can beep. Cynthia sighs as he puts too much hot chocolate powder in the milk. Connor stirs carefully, trying not to spill all over the counter.

“You can always talk to me, sweetheart,” Cynthia says, squeezing his shoulder. Connor shrugs and she presses a kiss to his cheek. “We can talk in the morning. Sleep well.”

Connor stares down into his hot chocolate as she leaves the kitchen.

He has the strong urge to just sit on the floor and waste away.

He takes his hot chocolate up to his room and sits in bed and watches the Great British Baking Show on his laptop. It feels weirdly fake.

At some point he falls asleep. It all feels the same.

“Connor. Connor. Connor!”

Connor groans and rolls over so he’s not facing his doorway.

“Connor, if you don’t get up now, you’re walking to school.”

He squeezes his eyes shut tighter. “‘m not going,” he mumbles.

Zoe grabs his shoulder and shakes him. “Get up!”

Connor shoves her hand away. “Go away!”

“I’m not dealing with your shit—”

“I’m not going!” Connor twists to glare at her. “Fuck off, I’m not going.”

Zoe stares at him. She’s all ready. Her hair is braided over one shoulder, her makeup is done. Connor can’t even remember when she started wearing makeup. He doesn’t know when Zoe grew up.

“Did you hear me?” he snaps. “I’m not going to school.”

She takes a step away. “Okay. Okay. Fine. You’re not going.” She keeps looking at him. Why is she looking at him like that? “Go back to sleep.” She slips out of the room and Connor keep looking at the space she occupied.

He hears the front door open and close. He pulls the covers over his head and goes back to sleep.

—«·»—

Connor wakes up a little bit before noon.

His head hurts and his mouth tastes like death. He stumbles out of bed just to brush his teeth. He probably wouldn’t move other than the fact that his mouth is gross.

While he’s looking at himself in the bathroom mirror as he mindlessly brushes his teeth, he realizes he never changed out of yesterday’s closes. He’s still wearing ripped jeans and an old sweatshirt.

His phone is still sitting on his desk with 2% left. Connor plugs it in and turns off airplane mode and puts on sweatpants that are a little too big and a hoodie that has old paint stains on it. Then he gets back in bed.

He watches videos on his laptop, not really paying attention to what’s on the screen. He looks away in surprise when his phone vibrates. He picks it up and skims through the messages. He never read the ones from last night.

From: Evan To: Connor      Ok IM gonna hol d you to that ok??

From: Z To: C      Why the fuck did Evan just text me????      Where are you?      What happened all I heard was Dad yelling and then you were gone      Connor      Don’t fucking ignore me

Missed call and voicemail from Z

Missed call from Z

From: Z To: C      Pick up asshole

Missed call from Z

From: Evan To: Connor      Umm Zoes freaking ou ton me?      Connr what happened wheer are y ou ?

Missed call from Z

From: Z To: C      Fuck you      Ok?      Seriously fuck you      You’re killing mom      I hope you’re fucking happy      If we find you dead in a ditch somewhere I swear

From: Evan To: Connor      Pl ease answ er some on e

From: Z To: C      I heard you and mom in the kitchen. Fuck you. You can’t do this      You’re terrifying Connor      You scare the shit out of me      I know you won’t respond tonight. I’ll tell Evan you’re ok      This shit isn’t funny

From: Evan To: Connor      Zo ejust text dme Im glad youre ok but I wsih you answered your phone      I know thing s get hard but please let people know yoru esafe because otherwise peoplestart to think the wrs t and then they bother you and dont let you leave their sight      We just want the bes t for you we want you to be ok      Ill see you tomorrwo

From: Z To: C      Just told Evan you won’t be here today. I’m guessing you still haven’t responded to him.      Maybe try to be a good friend.      Or even just a friend.

From: Evan To: Connor      Zoe said you werent coming in today?? A reyou ok?      Thats hte worst question to ask IM so sorry      Please talk ot me Connor      Its importan t      Im coming over after school      I knw thats invading on your personal space but I need to know if youre ok andif youre not going to answer texts I don tknow how else to reach you      I have to help alana with stuco stuff because no on eelse wants to hang posters but Ill be there afterward even if its only for like two minutes can we please talk??

“I’m home!” Zoe shouts.

Connor glances up to the top of his phone to see the time. Shit. It’s already two. He doesn’t know how he lost so much time to YouTube. Which means Evan will be here…soon.

From: Connor To: Evan      ok

“Connor?” Zoe calls out.

Connor stares at her texts and feels his stomach turn. “What?” he yells back.

“Come get your boots! Mom wants us to move ours shoes!”

He scowls and lays back down. “Fuck off!”

She yells at him to get them again, but he just puts headphones in and ignores her. He lays in bed and stares at the wall and listens to music that is way too loud. It would be nice to feel something right now. He distantly hears Zoe yell again and tries to turn the music up louder. The volume doesn’t increase and he makes a face and does a silent eulogy for his eardrums.

Zoe shouts his name again and Connor sighs and yanks out his earbuds. He tried. “What?!”

He can’t make out whatever she says next, but then she shouts, “You’re a dick!”

“Not fucking news,” he snaps. He’s about to put his headphones back in when Evan appears in his doorway. He’s still wearing his backpack and his arms are filled with food and there’s something tucked under his arm.

Connor stares at him. “What the fuck.”

Evan laughs awkwardly. “No dishes in the sink. We realized you probably didn’t eat today.” He looks down at the food he’s holding. There are chips and a container of strawberries and a loaf of bread and he’s carefully balancing a bowl on top of the strawberries.

“Why didn’t you—”

“Zoe had to run,” Evan says. “Something about an emergency piano job?”

Connor squints. “I forgot she plays piano.”

Evan nods. “Someone’s accompaniment is sick so I think she has to fill in. Can you, uh…”

“Oh, right.” Connor gets out of bed and takes the bowl from Evan. It’s filled with leftover mac n cheese. He puts it on the desk and then takes the chips.

“A-anyway, Zoe had to run and two trips are for suckers.” Evan puts the strawberries and bread down on the desk.

Connor rolls his eyes. “Okay.”

“These are also for you.” Evan pulls a stack of mail out from under his arm. “Looks like mostly college stuff.”

“Fucking college board,” Connor mutters. “Never should’ve taken the SATs.”

“Yeah, same. They won’t leave me alone. Oh! And Alana gave me notes for you for english. She started saying something about like…chiasmic?”

“Chiasmus,” Connor mutters, looking through the mail. Nothing he cares about. Great. He can set it on fire.

“Yeah that’s it!” Evan takes off his backpack and puts it on the floor to take out a notebook.

Connor stares at him. “Evan?”

Evan looks up at him. “Yeah?”

“Are… Why are you wearing my boots?”

“Oh.” Evan stands up straighter and lifts one of his feet. “Zoe kept yelling at you to bring your boots upstairs. Figured if I was bringing you all this I just…take them too?”

Connor stares at him. Evan looks kind of ridiculous. Connor’s all too familiar black combat boots are paired with Evan’s usual khakis and a gray sweatshirt with a striped polo peaking out from under it. The boots go up a little too high on Evan’s shins which adds to the look and Connor is now noticing that they give Evan a few inches that he definitely does not actually have.

“Is this what it’s like to be tall?” Evan asks with a smile.

Connor snorts. “No, Hansen. It’s not.”

Evan shrugs. “I’ll take it.”

“Aren’t those kind of big for you?” Connor’s mind is still trying to process this. Evan is wearing his shoes. That’s definitely not something he’s thought about before. Or ever considered. He thinks his brain might be resetting.

“Oh god yes.” Evan sits down on Connor’s bed and unlaces one of the boots. “It’s actually a miracle I didn’t like…fall down your stairs or something. That would’ve been embarrassing.”

“And painful.”

“That too.” Evan pulls off the boot. He’s still wearing his old sneakers.

Connor opens and closes his mouth a few times. “Hey, Ev?”

Evan starts untying the other boot. “Yup?”

“You’re wearing…your shoes in my boots?”

Evan looks Connor in the eye. “I already told you, two trips are for suckers.”  

Connor laughs. It’s weird to laugh right now, like it’s the wrong emotion to feel. But he laughs and smiles at Evan because there is something about Evan wearing sneakers in his boots that’s ridiculous but also makes Connor’s stomach fill with butterflies. “Okay, Ev. Whatever you say.” He falls onto his front on the bed next to Evan. The moment feels too light. And then all of Evan’s texts come back at him in a crushing wave.

Connor grimaces. “Um…sorry for last night.”  

Evan glances back at him over his shoulder. “I…” He rubs a hand over his face. “You scared us.” He says it softly, like a secret, and stares at his feet.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Connor admits. “I just… Fuck, I just needed to get out. And then my phone was almost dead and I didn’t want to talk to people… I fucked up.”

Evan nods. He wordlessly pulls his sneakers off and then crosses his knees on the bed.

“I had a fight with Larry it was…” Connor rolls onto his back and sits up. “I needed to be alone, I guess. I wasn’t really thinking about other people when I left. I didn’t even bring my house key.”

Evan scoots further onto the bed. “What did you fight about?”

Connor searches Evan’s face. His eyes trail over Evan’s freckles. They dot his face like stars. “Nothing serious,” he mumbles. “It just got out of hand.”

Evan leans back on his hands. “Is that why you didn’t come to school today?”

Connor runs a hand through his hair. “I guess. I just… Zoe woke me up and getting out of bed just seemed like the worst fucking option ever. I think I yelled at her, but I barely remember waking up.” He grabs the bowl of mac n cheese off the desk. Food. Right.

Evan nods. “I… There are days like that. Where getting up makes me want to cry.” He holds out a hand. “Can I have the chips?”

“That sucks.” Connor hands over the bag of chips and continues eating mac n cheese. The sooner he finishes this the sooner he can go back to not being a person.

“Yeah, kind of.”

Connor sighs. “Aren’t we a fucking pair.” He pushes pasta around the bowl.

Evan tilts his head. “Yeah,” he mumbles.

Connor frowns. “What is it?”

Evan shakes his head. “Nothing. I thought of something, but it’s not important.”

“Are you sure?”

Evan nods and reaches for Connor’s laptop. “Let’s just watch something and pretend our lives aren’t horrible.”

Connor watches Evan carefully as Evan opens YouTube and scrolls through the recommended videos until he finds one that isn’t too weird sounding. “Yeah that sounds like a good plan.” He puts his bowl back on the desk— he only had a few bites but his stomach is kind of done with food.

Connor takes the laptop from Evan and scoots over so they can both lean against the pillows. He rests the laptop on his knees. Evan’s arm presses against Connor’s and Connor tries not to think about it. He tries to focus on the random video that Evan chose. It’s probably funny or something.

But he can’t. Because Evan is here.

Evan is warm and curled toward Connor and his hair smells nice and he’s leaning his head against Connor’s shoulder to see the screen better. And Connor’s heart is doing this weird thing where it feels like it’s being squeezed which is honestly so fucking rude.

Evan sighs and moves a little closer.

Yup. This is hell.  

—«·»—

“Connor!”

Connor’s heart races as he wakes with a jerk. He’s about to move when he notices the weight on his torso. He looks down to see Evan’s head resting on his chest.

Connor stops breathing.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy—

“Connor?”

Connor groans and squints into the bright light of the hallway. When did he fall asleep? When did it get so fucking dark out? Why is Evan sleeping on him? Why is Zoe always so loud? “Wha?”

“You aren’t dead.” A smile plays at the corner of her mouth. Connor squints at her. “Get your ass downstairs, we’re about to—”

Evan sits up, rubbing his eyes.

Zoe stares at him. Her eyes go from Connor to Evan. Connor wants to go back to sleep. He wants Evan cuddled against him because fuck that was really nice.

“Zoe?” Evan asks, voice soft.

Connor is not mentally equipped for this.

“…thought Evan went home,” Zoe says slowly.

“No,” Connor says. “Nap.”

“Right. Right.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Cool. Okay.” She clears her throat. “We were going to…” She gestures over her shoulder. “You know…”  

Connor narrows his eyes as he tries to figure out what she means.

“Friday night? Shabbat?”

Connor props himself up on his elbows. “Oh. Right.” He looks to Evan. Evan’s hair is messy and sticking up in all directions and it’s making Connor’s heart do weird things.

Zoe follows his gaze. “Uh… Evan can…join us? If he…?” She gives Connor a desperate look. “Or stay here? Or sleep…? Um…” She raises her eyebrows at Connor. Connor shakes his head.

“Uh…I don’t really…” Evan clears his throat. “My mom and I— we don’t really do anything for Shabbat at home…because… My mom works a lot so we don’t— I don’t really…know what I’m supposed to do?”

Tension seems to leave Zoe as she smiles at Evan. “Don’t worry about it, we can show you. Connor doesn’t know what he’s doing either.”

Connor flips her off and throws off his covers. “I won’t be insulted in my own fucking home,” he mutters.

Evan crawls over Connor’s legs to get out of bed. “You sure I w-won’t ruin it?” he asks Zoe, tugging on his shirt.

“Swear,” she says, drawing an x over her heart. “We haven’t set the house on fire yet, so you’ll be fine.”

Evan steps past her into the hallway and Zoe immediately raises her eyebrows at Connor. Connor gives her a look.

“What is this,” she hisses into his ear.

“What do you mean?” he whispers back.

She gestures to Evan. “When did you two get together?”

Connor jerks away. “What?”

Zoe stares at him. “You’re—”

“No!” He lowers his voice. “Zoe what the fuck—”

“I don’t know! He gets you to eat and sleep what the fuck am I supposed to think?”

“Not that?”

“A-are you two coming?” Evan asks from the top of the stairs.

Connor and Zoe exchange a look.

“Later,” Zoe says.

“No.” Connor walks over to Evan and tugs on his sleeve. “Let’s go.”

Zoe squeezes past them on the stairs, flicking the back of Connor’s head as she goes. “Mom! Evan’s joining us!”

Evan grabs Connor’s hand at the foot of the stairs. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do,” he whispers with wide eyes.

“It’s fine,” Connor promises. “Just stand next to me and do what I do. But you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Evan looks toward the kitchen. “I… It’ll be fine. Yeah. I-I want to do this.”

Connor gives him a small smile and pulls him into the dining room. Cynthia places down another glass as they walk in and smiles at Evan. Evan nods and fiddles with his hands and Connor resists the annoyingly strong urge to hold his hand.

Zoe passes around her purple kippot from a drawer near the sink, and Connor wonders how long it’ll take before his falls off this time. He watches Evan read the inscription inside of the date of her bat mitzvah, before nervously pressing it on his head.

They stand behind their chairs at the table, small glasses of grape juice — or in Larry’s case, red wine — next to their plates. Connor watches as Cynthia lights the candles and waves her hands over them before covering her eyes so she can’t see the flames as she sings a short prayer for the candles.

Connor tries to concentrate on the Hebrew instead of the glow reflected in Evan’s eyes. Those are bad thoughts. And it’s also not the time for them.

Cynthia moves to her seat and lifts her wine glass. Connor nudges Evan as the rest of the family does the same. Evan shoots him a thankful look and a tiny smile. They keep the glasses aloft as Cynthia makes Kiddush, only awkwardly joining in at the end of the blessing.

Connor remembers Zoe learning the other parts of it for her bat mitzvah, but she probably feels too uncomfortable to sing along with Evan here. Not that Evan is the most awkward and uncomfortable part of their dysfunctional family. 

Everyone takes a sip of their drinks — Evan a little belatedly — and Cynthia removes the ornate cover from her handmade loaves of challah on the cutting board. Connor remembers when she used to buy challah for them, ordered specially from a bakery, shiny and with white flour. Sometimes on holidays they had raisins.

Now she bakes them gluten free and several weeks in advance, but at least he remembers the blessing for once (the food was really the part of Hebrew school he looked forward to), so he joins in quietly with everyone, trying not to focus on Evan’s wavery stuttering. The bread is sliced and the cutting board is passed around, and they all take their seats.

Connor hears an audible sigh of relief from Zoe. Evan looks to Connor and gives him a half smile. He’s gripping the hem of his shirt in his hands under the table. Connor smiles back.

Zoe is still right, they haven’t burned the house down.

Dinner is awkward. Honestly, Connor wasn’t expecting anything else. It’s awkward and quiet and the little talking that is done is done by Zoe and Cynthia. Connor does his best to just not look in Larry’s direction. He will ignore this as long as he possibly can. Next to him, Evan is tense and keeps his eyes mostly on his plate. Sometimes him and Connor make eye contact and Evan will give him a tiny smile and Connor’s heart tries out a fun new pattern. Evan keeps touching his kippah, sometimes adjusting it, eyebrows furrowing whenever he does. He’s probably worried about it slipping or falling into the soup or something and honestly, Connor relates.

They survive. That’s the important part.

“Told you it’d be fine,” Connor says as they go back up to his bedroom. Evan probably has to go home at some point but Connor is very pointedly not thinking about that.

Evan laughs. “I thought my kippah was going to fall off. I’d probably find a way to make it catch fire.”

“I’d be impressed.”

Connor eyes the stack of snacks on his desk before grabbing the carton of strawberries and sitting on the edge of his bed.

Connor holds out a strawberry and Evan takes it while saying, “You know, we just ate.” Connor shrugs. “Fruit is healthy.”

“I mean you aren’t wrong.” Evan drops down on the bed next to Connor.

Connor stares at him for a few moments. He’s probably got some sort of embarrassingly soft look on his face but it’s fine. Then he remembers that Evan is here. “Oh shit, I have money here some—”

“No,” Evan interrupts.

Connor shakes his head. “We agreed—”

“Fuck Jared’s list,” Evan says. He glances to the doorway and lowers his voice. “I wanted to be here, Con. I wanted to see you. D-don’t… You don’t have to pay me.”

“Are you sure?” Connor asks softly. He feels…like he’s using Evan but worse. Because this is not the agreement.

Evan nods. “I’m sure.”

Connor runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “Okay,” he says, stomach turning. It’s okay. It’s fine. “Okay.” 

[fantrollassemblage]

shoves opal and renkie into ur face

Send me the name of one of your trolls, and one of my trolls, and I’ll tell you how they would act in all four quadrants!

this one was tricky! i love opal, but im not sure if i have a great grasp of her personality post-Mauvan, which is part of why this got so goddamn long. i hope i got close?

RED: Surprisingly soft. Renkie gets really sweet with her red! I think it’s because it’s the one time she will let herself be vulnerable? Either way, she’d be really sweet towards Opal, especially now that they’re in a bad place. She’d try her best not to be as bombastic, even though that’s hard for her. Meanwhile, I’d say Opal would welcome the soft treatment, at least when they’re in private. A nice moment to feel safe in big strong arms or some gay shit like that. Lots of cuddling obviously.

Other than that, though, it would be kinda similar to the way they are now? Renkie loves painting friends and quadrants alike, although any paint on Opal would have a pretty obvious theme (like a billion hearts). Renkie is still there for all Opal’s games to cheer them on. Less flirting w the rest of the team. Possibly less sex, but that’s a high bar for them to reach anyway fjgkfgh.

I can’t say for sure, but I’d hope it would be good for Opal. If they still canoniclly has/had a crush on Renkie, it would be nice for a non-messy recipocation, and having a red that’s soft and sweet might be what they need? Whether Renkie’s bombastic nature outside of private moments and trying to encourage Opal to be violent would be good is way more questionable tbh. Maybe it would help get Opal back to their more forceful self, whether that’s good or bad? Also I’m imagining Opal getting pretty clingy, but I might be wrong.

PALE: SEE LIKE. THIS IS A WEIRD ONE CUSS THEY BOTH GOT A SERIOUS TEMPER. Renkie is basically an anti-moirail because she encourages violence and aggression as a solution. Especially for Opal, who is playing a violent game professionally. Why stop being aggressive when that’s your profession, right?

So I guess Opal would be the one to calm down Renkie. Maybe her new perspective would put her in a position where she feels Renkie’s overly angry mindset should be calmed down? Maybe even out of concern that Renkie would become as toxic as Mauvan? I do get the impression Opal does care about Renkie and wants to see the best in her. Getting Renkie to listen would be the hard part, since she doesn’t really think her way of acting is bad? Not helped that a lot of her friends are enablers. I’m not sure if Opal could be forceful enough to get Renkie to sit down and listen. At the same time, Renkie considers them a friend and could potentially listen, but, again, it would require some forcefulness on their part.

Also, still body paint, but diamonds instead of hearts. If it works, I’d even say that’s a good time for their feelings jams, since that’s when Renkie is at her coolest! 

BLACK: Oh man uh. Like, they’re good buds? Perhaps if Renkie decided the best way to get Opal back to her old self would be a rivalry? o: It wouldn’t necessarily be 100% sincere on her part, but Renkie would not see much of a problem faking it for a friend. 

It’d probably be a walk on egg shells, though. Threats of punching are totally out, but Renkie is physical af. The basis of their rivalry would probably be more along the lines of Renkie trying to taunt violence, which I can see ending bad as hell, OR trying a sort of... “I know you can do better” taunt? Like, she says Opal can totally beat her in arm wrestling if she stopped moping and actually put those muscles to work. 

I’d say it’s like a 90% chance of going badly LMAO. 

ASHEN: In which Renkie finds out (usually via Jil I’d imagine) that Opal is getting with a bad black and fucking piledrives them. Renkie is extremely protective of her friends, so anyone who could pose a threat to Opal is getting destroyed. Especially if it’s to Opal, tbh. She doesn’t get the intricacies, but she knows Opal probably shouldn’t be with someone physically violent right now.

[svtskneecaps]

im actually curious now... ive never played the game myself but ive seen ads floating around... why Are you so heated abt hogwarts mystery if u dont mind me asking?? --💕

OH BUD, YOU'RE GONNA REGRET ASKING

i've ranted before on here and i'm too lazy to read it over and make sure i don't repeat points so if you want to hear me say the same stuff a different way then this post is the main rant i did before (although some bits are out of date, like the stats rant; they fixed that some), basically i have a few big problems

gameplay is frustrating

energy is required to do almost all things story related, except like. the occasional duel.

energy recharges one point at a time, every four minutes. there is an energy maximum that you can increase at certain points during the story. as far as i can tell, everything is divided between things that are "1 hr", "3 hr", and "8 hr". this goes for classes, story moments, etc. you use the energy to tap highlighted shapes and fill a star meter and if you collect all the stars you need, you pass

the 1 hr stuff requires a full energy meter, no matter how big your meter is, as far as i can tell. my meter is 33 max energy. it takes me 2 hrs to fill this meter. THE ONE HOUR STUFF TAKES ME TWO HOURS TO COMPLETE. SO NATURALLY, I THINK THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT.

either way, waiting for the energy to recharge is fucking boring, especially when the story is progressing at a snail's pace (it's a mobile game, they're trying to make you pay money to complete the game faster, which i GET. i play idle games. i have the patience of a god. BUT AT LEAST FUCKING BAKERY STORY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING)

duelling used to be worse (it uses a rock-paper-scissors mechanism and it used to be if you lost the rock paper scissors you just didn't get to go, so you could get stunlocked by the enemy and lose just because you suck at random chance rock paper scissors, which was fucking frustrating. now the rock paper scissors just decides who goes first, which i'll admit is better)

i guess they've been trying to fix it and make it less. shitty. so a while back they added "clubs" which is pretty much just another incentive to complete events. the highlights you tap on to fill up the meter to complete events are a different color sometimes and it gives bonus club exp that gets you rewards sometimes. clubs aren't terrible, like they're a bandaid fix but i mean they did at least add some measure of satisfaction to the experience. even if it's like. not enough.

they also added a "memory log" which i guess the idea was that it would be fun to revisit scenes from past years and quests and ~view your memories~ but. it doesn't work. like i try to play a memory and it loads for infinity. so. that's a useless feature

they also added "pages" which are just. pieces of paper you can bind into a notebook (used as a form of special currency in the game; you buy animals with it). apparently you can also use them to buy another chance at the timed quests but i hate timed quests very deeply so they're useless to me. not sure if that feature works but considering it's triggered using the memory log it's really anyone's guess. so that's pretty. awful.

(it's much harder to get genuinely heated when i'm taking the time to list the faults i take with the game one by one in an essay like format but this game sends me into rand mode 90% of the time i'm just apathetic to it right now, i'm being clinical)

it's ugly

this game is more glitch than graphic. i cannot count on my appendages how many glitches and weird moments and gross graphical choices there are. maybe this is just because it's a mobile game and it's a hardware limitation, i have no idea. that's probably the case. doesn't make me hate the game any less. doesn't make me hate how ugly it is any less.

now i don't record the quidditch matches so i don't have many examples of that but those cutscenes are glitchy as all fucking get out and that's one of the things you can use to grind stats, energy, etc. there's not a quidditch event going on so i can't get images of the tail end of my broom EXTENDING OFF INTO THE TREELINE FOR FIVE MILES OFFSCREEN in certain cutscenes so you'll have to take my word for that one, but it's a thing that happens in two separate cutscenes and it's fucking bananas that it's still a thing that exists and hasn't been FIXED or NOTICED do they not have quality assurance????????????

AND WHY DOES MY WRIST LOOK LIKE THAT. WHY. I WANT TO HOLD MY FROG. I LOVE MY FROG. BUT GOD, IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY HAS TWISTED MY WRIST LIKE A WET TOWEL. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT???

I'M PRETTY SURE THE QUAFFLE IS SUPPOSED TO BE UNDER MY ARM, WHY IS THIS WHAT'S HAPPENING. THIS CLIP PLAYS IN EVERY QUIDDITCH MATCH I EVER DO.

WAIT THERE'S NOT EVEN A FUCKING BROOM THERE I LITERALLY NEVER NOTICED THAT THERE'S NOT EVEN A BROOM. I WAS SO DISTRACTED BY THE QUAFFLE I DIDN'T NOTICE THERE'S NO FUCKING BROOM.

THEY'RE HANGING OFF THE BACK END OF THEIR BROOMS. THIS PLAYS EVERY MATCH. WHAT THE FUCK. (don't mind the image quality that's coming from me screenshotting a screen recording)

i don't feel like editing video clips right now just for a shitty rant post about a shitty app game so you'll have to take my word for it that there is more shit and it is egregious and barely a scene goes by where something ugly doesn't happen. half the time they're like "cast this spell!" and i cast it and there's supposed to be a sweet little animation of your character casting the spell but every time i do it, the game glitches and my character freezes, and then the spell has been cast. no animation. which is awful. half the time it loads in such a way that you think you blinked, but no. the screen just glitched everything into place. i don't know how to describe it honestly. it's awful.

it's boring

the story COULD be good, if it wasn't fed to you in tiny chunks over the course of several years. it's an okay plot, the usual harry potter chasing after some mystery (in this game it's the Cursed Vaults, usually there's a specific vault you're chasing in every year to hopefully find your brother and save hogwarts from the curse in the process). that's a pretty solid start

but there's so much FILLER. like there's a bit in year 3 where you go fucking around trying to make an extra sweet butterbeer for madame rosmerta while she's trying to track down your brother's journal in her back room (which is apparently as organized as my fuckin bedroom) and like. it takes so fucking long to actually progress with ANYTHING related to the story after that. like the entire plot STALLS while you try to make the butterbeer. LIKE IMAGINE IF A HARRY POTTER NOVEL STOPPED FOR A CHAPTER TO DESCRIBE HIM DOING SOMETHING SO FUCKING BORING. like at least in there you might get some character development or something, there's no shit like that in this fucking godawful shit of a game. hell there's barely character development, for you, for your friends, for the professors, fuckin NOTHING

they bloated their cast out. there's way too many characters and they waste their time on filler rather than actually developing the characters (for reference, i'm halfway through year 4). ben's personality is "cowardly gryffindor". rowan's personality is "books and socially awkward". tonks's personality is "prankster" (which, incidentally, i've heard is also the entire personality of another character you meet later). they aren't developed. i think they're blowing their character development budget on the "enemies to friends" arc they're trying to pull (i'm guessing that based on a christmas theme side quest and her uncharacteristically spilling her tragic backstory, that's a prediction)

year 1 was entirely wasted time. they could have done so much more with year 1, and they just. didn't. year 1 is disproportionately short and it only involves three friends (rowan, ben, and penny) plus your main enemy. it lays the base bones for your rivalry fairly well, all things considered, and starts the chase for the cursed vaults, and lays some bases for your friendships (wish they would have done more, since the characters are still a little one-note), and then they fucking drop the ball in later years. like i haven't seen ben since year 2, but there was SOMETHING going on between him and the vaults, what the fuck was that? why is no one acknowledging that?? there is a mystery that they're just fucking ignoring and i'm going to go fucking crazy

i went into greater detail on this in the other rant so i'm not going to do it again but it pisses me off. that and how useless the house is. and the fact that it presents you with choices like they'll do anything, but they don't really affect anything (at least not where i'm at in the game). like, i've been presented with the option to take different characters with me, but the friend i took with me didn't get any meaningful dialogue at all so what even would the difference be if i'd taken someone else?? what was the point?? it's stupid. it's dumb. i hate it. i hate it.

anyway there's 1600 words on it. the only reason i'm still playing it is because i plan on reworking the whole damn thing using the "each house gets a different storyline with a few constant story beats", but to do that i need to know the plot of the stupid fucking thing. so that's what i'm doing for the moment. it might take me a couple years to finish though. this game sends me spiraling into burnout at speeds only rivaled by public school, even when it's NOT forcing you to stop and wait eight straight hours.

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #5: “sushi + running isn’t the best combo.” - Mo

Sad to Linus quit honestly. Hope he’s alright but yeah that sucks.

So Linus just quit. It’s unfortunate and slightly annoying that we had another’s person quit. Especially since we had players like Jose and Jaylen who actually wanted to play. But then again I’m just trying to get the crown so I can’t really complain when someone else falls. Final 14 so I’m expecting merge to happen in the next 4 tribals.

Alright so hey I'm a bit late but since we last left off we were heading to tribal, at that point I was actually thinking Jose likely had an idol since you know.. throwing two random names 30 minutes before tribal when you know you can't get the numbers is a very idol-ish thing to do. So me and Tobi decided to vote Mo just in case an idol was played and both of them voted together. But actually at the end of the day Jose voted Mo and Mo well he didn't show up LMAO, which was actually bad because then his self vote would make it a 4-4 tie and while I think voting jose out after that would've been achieavable I would rather not give him the chance to fight. Luckily Mo showed up and voted him so that was it and he prob didn't see it coming but hey the lad was took it well so kudos to him.

So right after that the hosts pulled a sneaky on us and the live challenge was actually a swap (bragging rights I predicted it yay...look at me predicting a swap at f15 I'm so smart....)

And for once luck was on my side since I'm still on mercia alongside Felix David and Mo. With Wes joining us from the other tribe. Now I did vote Mo but maybe he doesn't think it was me? I mean tbf after he didn't show up at tribal I scream_messaged him to vote for Jose so who knows. But either way we have the inmense unit of David with us and Wes who I barely know from another org I'm playing at the same time so there's that

And then ofc Felix the crazy german god bless his soul he saved us this week from going to tribal <3

And as I write this Linus has quit the game so I guess that's 2 out of 2 for wins that I really didn't get to enjoy but oh well. At least this gives Michael and Dani a chance over at that tribe now that it is 2-2. As for Tobi well he carried his own new tribe in that challenge so hopefully he can overcome that 4-1 disadvantage in case they go to tribal.

So puzzle challenge, okay let’s get on it. Wanna win it cause my og tribe are such an unknown. I want to work with tobi. But he will do what he needs to do to stay in. So my paranoid ass is conviced that my og tribe ain’t talking to me cause they want me out. Idk I’m being stupid but ahhh.

Here i am, losing the challenge, feeling a little sorry for myself because i'm like ok it's me i'm going. Then BOOM Linus quits and as much as i wanna be like oh buddy no you should stay it might get more fun i also wanna be like lol bye bye because now instead of getting voted out 3-2 me and Dani can now tie the vote should we go back to tribal which is obviously better than nothing. I'm bad at puzzles but im just gonna try my absolute hardest because i refuse to be Denise Stapley and go to every tribal council.

uhm so the immunity challenge is puzzles... great loll im legit so trash at puzzles and if we lose again ik it's gonna be bc of me ): i'm gonna try my best and not flop but i cant even enter the puzzles so idk whats gunna happen

Somehow I obtained 2 idol clues by sheer luck and honestly it's what I deserve in this game. I'm still debating if I even want an idol so I shared my clues with Jones because I wouldn't mind if she had an idol. But anyways there have been 2 quits which sucks but the only benefit is that now I at least will get 14th in this game.

lol we’re gunna lose again. but i aint going home america.. know that!

So I’m nervous my time might cost us the challenge but do you know what I’m not nervous about.... going home bc I have Dani loyal to me and me to her and also mr Scott and myself have established a f2 alliance named “crumpets and bagpipes” (name subject to change) so yeah hopefully I’m going nowhere hehe

SO IDK HOW I DO IT but people just kind of give me clues and answers to their idol puzzles. SURE I asked Scooty how he was doing for his results, but I never even asked Madison about her clues and she's just kind of,,,,giving them to me? and I love it <3 <3 <3 WELL ACTUALLY I TAKE IT BACK. I LOVED IT UNTIL I FOUND OUT THE FUCKING IDOL WAS TAKEN ALREADY. I was searching the playroom today and WHAT DO YOU KNOW "there was something there but it was taken" and I want to actually PERISH LIKE HOLY FUCK I WAS ACTUALLY!! SOOOOOOO CLOSE!!1!11 but yeah hopefully Linus didn't have it and quit with it I'll actually beat his entire ass

So like... after my amazing comeback last immunity challenge,, WHICH BY THE WAY FUCKIN WAS FOR NOTHING BECAUSE LINUS QUIT LIKE WHY DIDNT HE QUIT BEFORE THE DAMN CHALLENGE AND NOW I OUTED MYSELF AS A CHALLENGE THREAT... stupid..,, we flopped in this one like... madison and jones flopped hard kdjhflksdjfhs like did they even try.. now im in a peculiar situation.. the great thing is that rhys and ryan actually asked me to be a part of a three man alliance (im obv at the bottom) and like im definitely using this to my advantage and hopefully get out of this tribal!! im expecting at least one vote from madison which is natural but like im gonna fight tooth and nail to get out of this!! idc who i have to throw utb to get by but i'll do whatever it takes

HELL YEAH TO MERCIA FOR WINNING ANOTHER IMMUNITY. It feels so good to have come clutch again, especially after a scare from Mo, who didn't do the right puzzle. -.- ugh that pissed me off so much, especially with so little time left to do it. But Ahrre and I DESTROYED everyone else who did the hard puzzle so I can't complain.

Also, a new development. Ahrre and Felix seem to trust me SO much that they wanna share their idol guesses with me, which is fine with me considering I trust them the most on this new tribe. I feel it, omg I feel like I'm SO close to getting that idol and if I find it, it puts me in a huge power position. So I need to find it before these guys.

This was probably the most stressful round for me. So let’s go through the series of unfortunate events

1. I misread the post and I was doing the easy puzzle the entire time when I thought I was doing the hard puzzle. I took a picture on my phone with my score and my name in the search bar.

2. I hangout with my friend, we go get sushi and I buy some macaroons and then we chill in a Starbucks while we play Pokemon Go.

3. I submit my photo at 5:45 PM 15 minutes before the dead line only to get told that not only would the photo not of counted because I didn’t have the date and time in the photo. But I was also doing the wrong puzzle.

4. My scrawny out of shape ass sprints home and it was the kind of thing where like I was coughing because I ran too much.

5. Now I have to do the more difficult puzzle in 20 minutes. I didn’t get the chance to practice before hand, I feel like shit, I’m still coughing and I think I’m going to puke because sushi + running isn’t the best combo.

6. I don’t submit on time, and not only that I don’t abstain on time either. So I get a strike. The amount of fucking despair and sadness I felt as I was rushing through the puzzle only to realize I was too late even after getting granted an extension. It was so awful.

Well, sad linus left but the good news is we won immunity by three minutes! Michaels time was a MESS because we could’ve gotten first if he did better but that’s alright we got second so that’s good. I like my remaining tribe mates so I hope things stay good ❤️

Aye so we've won another challenge after the swap yay! it's almost as if my shitty luck was detrimental during luck based challenges. wh would've thought...

Now we won even though Mo didn't submit and his time was more than the rest of the tribe combined lol but it's ok cause we won anyways, albeit David got a bit pissy about it and Mo told me about it but eh hopefully it's nothing.

Talking about david I decided not to sit around all day even if we're not going to tribal. Since I'm lucky to stay in the same camp I was before the swap I might as well try and find that damn idol if it hasn't been found already. So I decided to coordinate idol guesses with him and Felix which payed out because when we won the reward today he shared it with me (or at least a part of it unless he's lying) and he made a chat with me and felix so I guess now we're in an alliance, so there's that.

As for the other tribes well I hope Tobi can pull something out of the bag and not die this week, maybe he can get madison who has been pretty lackluster at challenges but either way I'm not gonna be holding my breath.

so today Rhys n I made an alliance with Tobi so that's a thing... and then later in the day we ended up losing immunity -___- which is ass because someone literally striked and got 45mins for a puzzle we still lost jalfkdjf like wig ok! I hope this alliance sticks but idk i gotta see what the waters feel like tomorrow... thank rihanna i have an idol it makes me feel like i have some security in this game hehe

Do you hear that? The birds are singing, the sky is blue and the sun is bright because YA BOI FINALLY WON IMMUNITY. Ugh I love winning immunity I’d scream if I had to go back there it’s ugly

Okay. So here is the tea. We lost.

I have an alliance between me Ryan and tobi. So fingers crossed that’s all good, and Madisin should be an easy boot.

However, I feel uneasy as when I woke up I had no messages from anyone on my tribe about tribal. Which is scary as I thought people would’ve been trying to push for w certain person making sure it wasn’t them. Apparently not, or maybe it’s me?. I know I’m a paranoid mess but I’m like 40% worried.

Okay this is post swap and this is a kind of sort of bad, I was swapped into a tribe were I believe I am only member of my og tribe, but we seem compontent at challenges (at least the rest of them do). Plus one person (Ahrre) I kind of sorta know so hopefully I can make something work and get past this.

Lewis quitting sucked since I actually knew him from an alias game a long time ago.

Let me know if you need a longer confessional.

hmm Madison is definitely the obvious choice to vote out from Sweyn rn... she's exuded the bare minimum of activity and i dont think we've had a genuine conversation in pm's or at all thus far; plus she did the worst in the challenge. I know from Scott that Jones got close with Madison on og Sweyn so that is something on my mind, but I think she would be ok letting her go ultimately; not too sure but I'm talking to her now so we'll see. If our tribe loses again it's gonna be ugly because i would hate to vote Jones out, she's a queen

Hey guys, its me... Hannah Baker. We had a tribe swap last round and I was shook at it being 3-2 with me being in a minority technically if we’re talking number wise. But, Scott said something interesting to me, saying that he thinks its funny that I would go home over Michael which is kind of reassuring. We lost the challenge and Linus decided to quit and I was like ok mood??? We won the challenge after thank god and I won’t be going to yet another fucking tribal. I really like Michael and Scott and I think if we were to lose again, we could vote out Malik. I’m hoping I can make the merge here but I guess we’ll see. Xoxo

god.. pls vote out madison u fucking fucks LMAOAOAOAOOA. liek im good terms with everyone on that tribe so its rly ugly that theyre going to tribal.. but uhm. hopefully its madison that goes bc i dont want to talk to her or wes at merge loll

like i can be social. dont get me wrong.. but like i cant do it with awkward unsocial people.. communication is a two way street after all

Madison is voted out 4-1.

[survivorkvaloya]

Episode #5: “I Didn't Come Back To Be A Stupid @$$” - Andreas

Not quite sure what to make of this tribe of 5 but I find in this one theirs no where to hide because I can almost guarantee Jackson is going to be a middle man between Danielle and I, and everyone knows that in this tribe I would be the one they send home. But luckily for me, I have Gage and Christine's students on my tribe so If I send them home it weakens them come merge, but following the murder of 3 returnees early on I can NOT have a repeat of Easter Island, so I need to get over my phobia of returnees. 

MKAY COOL I COULDN"T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER SCENARIO IT'S LITERALLY 4 V 1 IS THIS HOW SANDRA AND VARNER FELT

~*~Tales From Reflection Island~*~ Hi. I'm pissed. I was so excited to finally win my first tribal immunity and FINALLY not have to worry about being voted out, but that was short lived. Brett, my flop ass mentor, was voted out on the other tribe almost unanimously. What the HECK. So my gay ass is shipped off to reflection island where I have to "reflect on what went wrong" or whatever. But it ain't my fault Brett is a flop! He was the mentor. He was supposed to know not to get voted out. AND THEN we have a tribe swap.... While I'm on reflection. You know what happened to the last person on reflection island during a tribe swap? They were voted out unanimously the same round they returned (rip Connor). So when I come back I'm gonna have some serious work to do. Going onto a tribe of 5 is scary in itself, not being there when the tribe is formed is even worse. the ONLY saving grace in this whole situation is the reflection ritual or whatever the heck its call. Bc I'm always doing #that and I PICKED AN URN WITH AN IDOL PIECE IN IT WOOOO. Now I have 2/3 pieces! This makes it so much easier to get that last piece and make an idol. And that could save my ass in this tricky situation. My plan once I come back is to victimize myself, talk to everyone, be so devastated by the loss of my mentor, act paranoid, and find that last piece. Wish me luck!

Im actually really frustrated right now, we could have easily won immunity but Lauren messed up very basic instructions and just completely fucked us over. Now we have to go to tribal. Lol 4th tribal out of 5 ugh. So anyways this tribal should be easy however we know how this game goes, the easy vote never happens. But none the less this allows me a valid reason to take Christine's student out which would have completely destroyed all her numbers which means shes 1 which isnt a huge threat. Im just worried about idols ,and tribal on my 200th day is ANNOYING. Anyways i need to go calm down phew. Old Andreas is coming out lmao 

So jackson and I had a plan to throw the torch pass challenge and use lauren to get out andreas. funniest part: we didn't even have to throw because lauren posted at the wrong time and fucked it all up! I'm trying to make everyone hate her now so she feels like she has to vote with us. jackson was hesitant at first about voting andreas but he's warmed up to it. I hope he stays with the decision. I really think him and I can fight our way through this game. 

i got my 2nd idol piece from fucking hell of looking through numbers! van who??

So I think I already did a confessional but oh well. This tribe swap isn't looking good for me. I ended up not getting the idol piece because Chelsea already got it so that was super annoying. BUUUUT. I got reward this time and Ryan ended up getting his 2nd idol piece from it. I'm happy bc that means we have 2/3 in our posession and I think that he's 100% loyal to me. He's said over and over that this is our idol and I truly believe that. We've been friends for so long that I doubt that he would be using an idol that we both found against me in any way. I'm trying to talk to everyone every day but it's hard when it's one world. I hate it so much fuck fkjdsn. Andreas is kinda annoying and very pushy when it comes to this game. He created an alliance with Jackson and I, which I don't think I'll stick too, to try and talk about the vote. From what I can tell at this point, the vote is going to be Andreas anyway. Although Lauren fucked up in the challenge, people are wanting to keep her around for a throwaway vote if we lost next time (which we are going to if we're going to be keeping the weak players anyway). I'm starting to get annoyed with not being in power. Chelsea is running around only talking game yet telling me that other people will inform me with the plan... I- There is no way that I'm gonna be able to get her out and if god forbid we went to tribal again, it would be Lauren. I'm thinking of teaming up with Lauren to vote out Chelsea if it came down to it, I don't know if that would be the right move but right now, I feel like she's running the game and I want to be the one that takes her off of the high horse that she's sitting on. 

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my third confessional, just in time for the third generation of tribes. Ever since the swap, I've kind of had a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Not because I was put on a tribe with people I can't work with - in fact, I've had good interactions with everyone on my new tribe in the past, and best of all, I'm reunited with my closest ally Chelsea. Instead, the feelings of dread come from the fact that a lot of power was given to the two of us to start making moves of our own, and it's scary to no longer be floating in the background, hiding behind our mentors. Still, Chelsea and I both feel like we can't shy away from the opportunity we've been given. So, we planned to throw the immunity challenge. I had two objectives in mind for this. The first was to allow Colin to join our tribe after his return from exile, as he's someone I really trust and I couldn't guarantee his safety if he went to another tribe. The second was to vote out Andreas, who I see as one of the smartest and most well connected players in the game. We were going to have Chelsea pretend her internet went out, which I'm honestly not 100% sure would've worked without attracting suspicion. But then Lauren decided to do what I think she does best: go inactive without explanation. Since she queued her post for the wrong time, our torch lighting was out of order from the get go, and we had no chance of winning unless Lauren came online at just the right time (which she didn't). So yeah, we lost, and I guess me and Chelsea got our way. Right off the bat Lauren was scrambling. She came to me and Chelsea for help, asking us to stay united as original Ersfjorden members, which normally I'd roll my eyes at because she's suspicious af to me but was happy to hear in this specific moment. With me, Chelsea, and Lauren, we have three, and can vote out Andreas like we planned (or, at least, like Chelsea pushed really hard to and I agreed only after talking to my mentor because I'm a weenie). Andreas was acting pretty jumpy too. I think he really doesn't want to get voted out on his 200th day of tumblr survivor, and yeah, I get that and I'm gonna feel real bad casting my vote. He really helped me get my footing on Ersfjorden 2, and we could've had a nice working relationship even though he probably would beat me at the end. Anyway, he came to me pushing hard to get Lauren voted out to keep the tribe strong, and I told him I was definitely on board. His worry was not that Danielle would flip on us (more on that later) but that Lauren would somehow make an idol with Chelsea, who I can tell he doesn't totally trust. Joke's on him - Colin has the idol piece that everyone thinks Lauren has, but I'm not gonna tell anyone. I tried to reassure him that Chelsea's on our side too, and I'm hoping his guard is down. Danielle is the wild card. Even though we could vote out Andreas without her (assuming Lauren isn't the fucking mastermind of the millennium), I wanted her to be in on this vote because I think she will stick with me postmerge. Ryan likes her, and I don't want to go against him (yet). So I told Danielle that Lauren was pushing for Andreas, and she seemed tentatively supportive of the idea to vote him out now with Lauren being the next to go if we lose again. She also sent me her reward, which was a clue to an idol piece hidden somewhere on the blog. Long story short, the URL involves a five digit code starting with a 7 and including no repeating digits. It's basically impossible to determine the URL from that (unless i've already gotten it right but someone got their first and the page was deleted?) without more info, and I don't think the hosts would give such a difficult riddle. So yeah I think she didn't send me the entire clue (she withheld some of the digit hints), which kind of annoys me because she's trying to gain my loyalty by supplying intel but she doesn't trust me enough to let me have a chance at finding it myself. Also I shared literally all the details about JD and Liam's shitty alliance on Ersfjorden2 that locked out her and her student, so I feel like I'm giving out more than I'm getting back. But anyway, though she says she's on board for the Andreas vote (making it 4-1 against him), I worry that she's concerned about my relationship with Chelsea. I also worry that she's closer to Andreas than she claimed (and than Ryan thought), and that she might have ratted me out to him. While it doesn't seem like there's a lot he could do if he did know we were targeting him, there's a slim chance he could try to pull Lauren over. In that case, it'd be either me or Chelsea going, and considering how many more limbs I've gone out on than usual this week, I'm not feeling super safe. So yeah, that's about it, so unless something changes in the hours before the vote tomorrow, this is it. I'll be voting for Andreas and hoping I didn't get duped.

Looks like everything is still good to go with the Andreas vote. Sorry bud! The ship has sailed ~ 

Whelp, operation save Brett was a flop and I'm sad. But on the bright side I'm in love with this swap! It's nice to be reunited with Ryan and I'm glad QuilLynn is still with me. JD also seems really nice and then I haven't really talked to Nicholas yet. I'm glad we were able to win immunity but I'm kinda worried for Lauren. I feel like Jackson and Chelsea will help her but we'll see.

Going into tribal its been really quiet and that's been scaring me. No one is really talking to me besides Jackson but I could just be acting like a crazy person but who freaking knows. Hopefully this tribe votes out Lauren but maybe tonight, as my 200th night in TS will be my final.  I hope not though, I don't wanna be a pre-merge flop. 

Omg so the whole point of last vote was to get rid of Brett bc he is a bigger threat then jack and he would be more likely to be able to convince Lauren and Christine to flip. And of course we don't tell jack about the vote bc he really wanted Chelsea, but then of course he fucking ends up on my swapped tribe. I'm really happy I'm with Gage again bc he's definitely someone I trust and he's really nice, I'm also kinda glad to see lily And I'm hoping we can continue to work together. Jack ahhh I didn't tell him about the last vote so I don't think he trusts me anymore but he's nice. So that leaves Liam as the only person I hadn't met yet, I exchanged like 2 words with him and then he tells Ryan that he's talked to me the most? Like how is 2 lines a lot of conversation?? I mean I feel bad for him being super busy with 2 jobs and everything but he doesn't talk to me a lot and when we actually do talk it's always at 3 in the morning. So anyway last night Liam goes up to me and says hey I have an idea for if we ever have to go to tribal council, and he was talking about how me him and jack should work together and I agreed to it of course bc you should never really say no to alliances bc that's sketchy. I also found out that it was Liam and JD who created the majority alliance, like this boy seems kinda power hungry tbh. Anyway Kalfjorden looses immunity which is fine but I just hope it's not Chelsea, Andreas or Danielle. And then apparently Lauren has been super inactive and messed up on the challenge so it would make sense to vote her out and everyone seemed on board or whatever. But then in the all girls alliance, that I like the idea of but don't really feel comfortable with half the people in it, lily talks about how we gotta save Lauren. And at first I'm like wtf Lauren is cute and all but she's not the most active and I don't care about her that much. And Lily says that all the newbies are on board to vote together to vote out FUCKING ANDREAS. Like wtf I love Andreas?? And he's trying at this game unlike Lauren. And also lily goes oh yeah it'll be nice to vote out Andreas so that we can keep up student numbers like??? I'm a mentor??? I'm of course willing to work with students but not when they say they would like to vote out all the mentors lmao. I would tell Andreas but I won't bc I need to keep up my trust with lily especially since we're on a 5 person tribe where there's no room to hide. Anyway I could see if I could possibly talk to Jackson who I don't know well if he'd be willing to vote Lauren, ahh idk what I'm gonna do I hate this. 

Im actually very concerned I may be going home tonight and part of me is thinking that perhaps i should throw my vote at Chelsea incase an idol is played. I don't see Christine letting Lauren go without a fight and I would be a great person in her eyes to take out pre-merge. Heading into this vote im super concerned, probably more then i've been in a while which is super scary. I didn't come back to be a stupid ass but its so freaking quiet, and I don't see Lauren going without a fight. 

[survivormyanmar-blog]

Ep. #12 - “Get Over Yourselves and Play The Damn Game” - Ashley

Immunity was posted and it was Back and Forth which involves cutting your fellow tribe mates in order to advance.  Sam and Ting Ting were both targeted early in the challenge and Ashley went on to win Immunity.  After Immunity, Ashley approached her alliance of Amanda and Tommy to vote off Sam with the help of Leah.  Little did she know that Tommy was not actually with them and was working both sides and went to Ting Ting and Sam to vote off Leah.  The three of them were able to convince Linus to work with them to get majority and took out Leah in a 4-3 vote as they thought Leah, Amanda, and Ashley were a tight threesome.  With that, Linus was the only fan remaining.

do these people know nothing about subtlety? at least I won't go on that immunity run like jay said.

So Jay is finally freaking gone. About time. I even got Linus in on the vote somehow. So that is pretty sweet. I am going to try and look into that relationship more because I definitely think something is there. I still have my idol. I was really contemplating using it but at the last second I decided to have some hope for once in my goddamn life. And look where we ended up! I am still alive!

Well I won immunity! This is a really nice feeling. I am guaranteed a spot in the f6. AND I STILL HAVE AN IDOL. I am screaming rn. Like on cloud nine. This shit is great. Hopefully next tribal isn't as freaking frustrating, which of course it shouldn't be; Jay is gone ;) Maybe targeting Sam? Maybe even Ting Ting. Cuz after looking at her moves with our last challenge, she definitely targeted Amanda and I, even before we were ahead of the rest of them, sooo I don't exactly know her business but I sure as hell am gunna get all up in it.  

YAY IT WORKED! JAY IS OUT! So now I just really have to rely on Ting Ting and Sam voting with me from here on out. I also have a pretty unique relationship with Linus and an alliance chat with Amanda/Ashley from the Christian vote. So this round I would ideally want out Leah because she's kind of a goat and if she doesn't go soon everyone will want to go to the end with her. Also out of everyone left in the game I feel she is the least likely to talk game with me.  Lastly, long term people will want to go to the end with Leah and nobody will be willing to take her out in a few tribals from now so they'll continuously not target her and that can be fatal to my game. Also Amanda is a much bigger target to keep in the game and keeping Amanda in will keep Linus more likely to vote with Ting Ting, Sam, and I which will work to our benefit.   My plan for this vote is to talk with Ting Ting and Sam and keep us all together but by doing that we have to keep the secret bond between Sam/I's bond to Ting Ting a secret from everyone else so none of us go and have a majority on the numbers come Final 5. So Ting Ting and I put in a plan that we can get Linus to vote with us by me approaching Linus and myself saying we need to break up the fearsome3some of Ashley/Amanda/Leah. I think this plan has a good chance of working out tbh. Leah going this tribal would be fantastic. If this plan works out Final 6 is Ashley/Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Linus/Myself. I would ideally want Ashley out next because she has won 3 individual immunities, has better ties with people than Amanda (especially Linus which is the most concerning), and her smart strategic plays, and social bonds. If we are able to pull of a blindside on her next it'd be great. We'd need myself, Ting Ting, Linus, or Sam to win immunity though. If that plan works out Final 5 is Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Linus/Myself would be left and ideally we want Linus to still be against Amanda. We'd need myself, Sam, or Ting Ting to win immunity. Then I think this would be the perfect time to get Amanda to vote for Linus and Linus to vote for Amanda, and cause a 3-2 vote with Linus getting the majority of the votes because he's less of a jury threat than Amanda and way better at comps and I think he can totally rock that Final Immunity if he can get there, if it's a Final 3. If that plan works out the ideal Final 4 is Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Myself. This way if we look at the jury Amanda has Steffen, Christian, Leah, Ashley, and possibly Jay which I think Ting Ting and Sam will be able to see by that point and consider Amanda a major jury threat and would win in any Final 3 scenario with us 3 remaining which would give us the reason to give her the boot. We'd just need for Sam, Ting Ting, or Myself to win immunity and cause a 3-1 vote with Amanda leaving which I think is possible. Final 3 I'd ideally want to be sitting next to Sam and Ting Ting whether that it's Final Tribal or the last tribal before a Final 2 because I feel I've made good connections with both of them and been so close to both through out the entire game. If it's a Final Tribal I feel I have an okay shot at winning next to them. Honestly, just getting to the end will make me relieved. For now I just need to continue on my bonds and plans and make sure people don't go after me, turn up the comp skill, and make my way to the end.  

Okay so I am immune and we have tribal in 4 hours AND NO ONE HAS SAID A THING. At the point I am just throwing out Sam's name cuz I think it is about time for him to go. I know I probably couldn't beat him in the end and therefore I kinda want him gone. I am taking a leadership role in this vote and I think I will hate myself in the future for it but shit needs to get done. It is like no one has the balls to say anything so they don't hurt anyone's feelings. Like come on. Suck my dick, get over yourselves and play the damn game. Also omg I think I am starting to like Leah because she is fucking insane like me and we are essentially the same human.

Trevor: *Sends confessionals link to tribe chat* Haven't gotten any!!! Me: Bish I literally just sent one.

*lowkey don't care about this tribal cause I know the 7th place chat is lit and I would be content going there lmfao*

Ashley and Tommy like to laugh at me for sleeping too much when they wanna strategize. ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY WAKE UP AT LIKE 7AM I'm basically nocturnal I cant help it. At this point they should call me Sleeping Beauty and call it a day

Okay y'all this Sam vote has been too easy, I am feeling a little sketched but I am immune soooooo. I just don't want someone close to me to leave. I don't quite trust Ting Ting 100% because she targeted Amanda and I in the last challenge, and then Amanda mostly. So I am a little confused as to why. Linus might be close to Sam so we might have just risked Sam finding out. From what people are saying, it seems like the vote would be a 6-1. But is Fucking Sam plays an idol whoever he chooses will be screwed. So I am thinking someone might have to throw out a vote on someone like Ting Ting or Leah just to be safe. But I just have to find someone willing.

okay so ting ting told me that ashley is pushing for my name which doesn't surprise me. she has immunity so she's probably trying to call some big shots. i'm working on linus to try to get him, myself, tommy, and ting ting to vote for leah. if all works and there's no idols, i'll be in the final 6 for the first time ever! but anything can happen, so i'm going to keep doing all the work i can.

"No one mourns the Wicked! No one cries they won't return. No one lays a lily on their grave." -Wicked (2003 musical) So Jay is gone :( . I'm kind of torn on how to feel about this. Sure she was shady as hell to most people in the game and a huge flipper, but like, she was always honest with me about where her head was at. Now on one hand my closest ally is out the door, but on the other I think multiple groups are seeing me as a possible extra number for them. In the Challenge Ashley teamed up with me  (She made deals with other people too, but at least I think that means Im not at the top of her hitlist) and she also somewhat tried to revive the "The only goddamn trustworthy people left chat". On the other side I have Tommy who I talked to for over an hour with yesterday in a skype call who wants me to side with him. Right now my play is Im trying to solidify a final 2 deal with Ting possibly. I know shes lied to some people, so Im hoping the trust isn't misplaced on my part, but I think I can play it up like with Jay gone I'm just going to become her extra vote. As it stands I think this round Im siding with Tommy and Sam, and hopefully Ting votes with us. Ashley's saying she hasnt heard anything about the vote at all, which is usually a red flag, but with her you never know since she's said that to me every round until like 2 hours before the vote :/ . I really do feel like there could be a f3 deal with her, Amanda and Leah so I want to get to strike while the iron is hot. The biggest problem with going against them though is that it seems like Tommy, Sam and Ting would most want to target Leah. Getting Leah out is kind of a mixed bag for my game. In one sense, Im pretty sure shes been going for me for a while, and if I make the end I can say that I was the fan who did what none of the others could. Thats also the problem with it though. If I become the last fan standing (Get it, like the famous saying last man standing but with an f instead of an m, Im so funny) then maybe others don't want to take me to the end so much since it possibly increases my shot at the end. On top of that, Leah is clearly been the least influential player so even with her wanting me out there hasn't been a vote cast against me since the Steffen boot.

Alright first, alliances and such: Ok it just makes me laugh so much that no one knows how close Tommy and I are in this game. Like omg. We literally swap info daily about the going ons. Like he's close with Ashley and Amanda and I got Linus it's great. Also Linus is nice and he's in a good strategic position for the remainder of the game. Like if he swaps, then boom there goes a vote. Sam is cool. He's really good at comps so he'll probably get immunity for like the rest of the game if he makes it through this vote. Leah is chill, I definitely think she's more focused on BB which is cool. Ashley and Amanda like don't trust me which i'm like fine whatever. Next, this vote: So basically Tommy, Sam, Linus (hopefully), and I are going for Leah this round because there's that Ashley, Amanda, Leah like final three alliance going on that needs to break up before final 6. Like strategically having three people in the game that are really close is bad because that's basically a majority right there going into f6. Ashley thinks that it's gonna be a 6-1 on Sam and he's leaving but... ;). Anyways, my only goal is to get to f5 to figure out what that legacy advantage is (shoutout to Steffen). Hopefully i can make it there. 2 more tribals. Also the cave can go to hell along with the hosts because they are evil people.

ashley actually thinks imma vote for amanda i cannot wait to SHAKE her geez if this all works it's gonna be amazeballs.

my heart my heart my heart that was so awesome. so awesome. i just i omg that was amazing amazing. ashley left that chat so fast!

yikes ashley like you were pushing for me to leave why am i supposed to tell you things