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lazy-queen · 5 years

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Andreil Ficlist

So, I’ve been away from Tumblr for a while but my love for the fandom is still strong. I’ve read some awesome fics from this pairing, and if you are looking for something too, you’re welcome to use this as guide.

Pairing: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard

Fandom: All For The Game (Nora Sakavic)

All of them are taken from AO3, and all of them are marked as completed. Enjoy!

Hold Each Other by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

He came along and showed me how to let go. - A series of stories about Andrew and Neil, with occasional Fox Family-centric feels. Current lineup: SMUT / Neil bringing up his torture / Neil protecting the Foxes / Neil using Nathaniel for good / AU: Riko, Canon divergence / Fixing Nicky's Kiss / Post-Canon AU / 5+1 bonding / Andrew & Nathaniel / Neil & Nicky bond / Magic!AU with tattoos / Post-Canon Piercing & Aaron bonding / Neil & minor PTSD / Neil & PTSD, Andreil / SMUT / Andrew and jealousy (kinda) / Baltimore AU & Kevin, Matt bonding / Neil trauma & Andreil / normal!AU Andreil in 3 parts / Raven!Neil AU in 8 parts / Andreil tea shop!AU / Andreil flower shop!AU / Andreil no Exy&college AU / Andreil no exy & college AU again lmao - UPDATE: This has turned into a series where each fic is a different AU!

Hic Sunt Draconis by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Andrew is just trying to keep Kevin alive when an elf jumps into the fray, flashing daggers and blue eyes. He hires the Foxes to help him catch a demon from his past, but it starts to feel less like he's the client and more like he's the protection. Andrew hates how entranced he is by the scarred rogue, with magic on his skin and a tongue as silvered as the city's statues.

It's a good thing Andrew needs something to hold his interest. Neil is doing his best to meet the expectation, whether anyone asked for it or not.

It's Way Beyond Ice Cream by nekojita for Blurredminds

(part 1 of the Ice Cream AU)

Fic for the AFTG Summer Exchange - Neil's doing his best as a new freshman at PSU, helped by Renee as he navigates life as a normal 'person'. That includes classes and studying, and dealing with a certain stubborn employee at the local ice cream shop who seems to delight in messing up his order each time he goes there for some unknown reason....

Of course Allison and Renee will eventually explain what's going on to him (and help poor Andrew out).

Life Never Tasted So Good by nekojita

(part 2 of the Ice Cream AU)

It's time for Andrew's date with the cute freshman he's been tormenting for the past couple of weeks by messing with his ice cream order. Still not convinced that Neil really wants to go out with him (in part because of how Neil is cagey about anything to do with his past), Andrew prepares for the night out.

In other words, continuation of 'It's Way Beyond Ice Cream'.

Feels Like Wasted Youth by conniptionns, exybee

Neil’s current living situation is … complicated.

Between his roommates’ badass rager parties and his neighbors’ constant barging into his apartment, Neil’s sure he can handle anything junior year throws at him

That is, until someone leaves a passive-aggressive noise complaint on his door. Unfortunately for the second floor, Neil has skipped the passive and gone full aggressive.

Or the Neighbors AU featuring post-finals parties, ill-timed fire alarms, and helpful campus squirrels.

Forever Home by moonix for lolainslackss

Neil works at a movie theatre. Andrew is his favourite (and only) customer.

The Kids Are Alright (Now) by Marmeladeskies for BakaDoll

When they're two years old, Aaron and Andrew are adopted together- and it changes the course of their fate drastically. A story about scars, healing, dogs, and the little boy with the auburn curls who just moved in next door.

Foxglove Fridays by moonix

(Part 1 of Foxglove Court)

Every Friday, Neil comes into Andrew's shop to buy flowers.

Wishbone Wednesdays by moonix

(Part 2 of Foxglove Court)

Attraction is a slow creature for Neil. It sneaks up on him over time and winds him tighter and tighter in its coils until he’s smothered in it.

In which Andrew is a florist with magic hands, Neil is a tattoo artist with a tragic past, and everyone else is busy wooing Renee at the coffee shop.

If You Must by Tourmaline147

Neil's whole world went up in flames the minute he burned his mother's dead body. Mary prepared him for almost every possible scenario, except this one. Now he's stuck in the middle of California trying to restart his life.

Andrew's world had been dark long before Neil Josten came into town. He's been barely living the past few years but he was working on that.

Together these two strangers who only knew how to survive take on a new challenge: learning to live.

*** Featuring the other foxes, the bad guys, copious amounts of music, and, hopefully, happiness.

*** Basically a high school au with music. Enjoy.

TFC High School AU by Moonix

1. Take Shelter by moonix

After his mother's death Neil Josten just needs to keep his head down until graduation, then he's going to leave this town and identity behind like all the others and start over somewhere new. There's a small hitch in his plans though: his deal to protect Andrew from bullies in exchange for some quiet company.

2. Guns And Horses by moonix

A year after they run away together, Andrew and Neil finally find themselves in Columbia where they make a temporary home, get jobs, and meet Aaron.

3. Stop The World by moonix

Neil’s mother is dead. His father is in prison. If he’s lucky, things might just be working out. Except Neil isn’t usually lucky…

4. Up In Flames by moonix

Neil keeps his promise.

The Proposal by PalmettoFoxDen

Andrew said he was engaged to Neil to get Nicky to stop telling him he would die alone. Now, Nicky is expecting Andrew to bring Neil to Columbia to meet them all. Meanwhile, Neil just found out he's going to be deported. Even though they can't stand each other, Andrew makes Neil a deal. If Neil visits Andrew's family and convinces them that they're really engaged, Andrew will marry him and convince the investigator on Neil's case that they're in love. But if they're going to convince anyone, they'll need to learn a lot about each other.

A Thief and a Liar by ClockworkDragon, gluupor

After two years in prison for a crime he absolutely did commit, Andrew has his next heist all planned out. All he needs is a team of thieves as talented as he is.

An Ocean’s Eleven AU where the Foxes like to steal things, Riko owns several casinos, and Andrew has a score to settle.

Shake My Tomb by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Nathaniel Wesninski takes his father's life and his father's title at the age of twelve. He kills a man at thirteen.

At eighteen, Kevin Day comes to him for help.

The Butcher of Baltimore is a name that used to mean something. Under Nathaniel's direction, the Wesninski Family has become an entirely different beast. They are the shadow thrown by the fire of the Moriyamas. Nathaniel isn't one to interfere with something bigger and more dangerous than him, but Kevin's position means something to him. Kevin, and the strange family he brings with him.

Maybe even Andrew, the one that challenges Nathaniel the most—and the one that Nathaniel finds himself drawn to. There's a lot at stake, though, and Nathaniel has nothing left to lose. Nothing but himself.

Pressure Points by puddlejumper99

(Part 1 of Out of the Ashes)

Neil enrolls at Columbia High School and remarkably fails at remaining invisible

False Equivalence by sunrise_and_death

Some part of her had known it would come back to Neil. He was the one who had cracked the twins the first time. Of anyone, he was the most likely to have a solution for this as well.

Although the events of the previous year resolved a lot of issues, Katelyn quickly discovers that not every problem has been addressed. As she attempts to map a future in which Aaron has both her and his family, she finds herself once again working with Neil Josten—to unexpected results.

Only You by wematch

In their second year a deal is made. Andrew wants to explore his boundaries and there’s really just one person he trusts around himself.

Set in a universe where everything is the same except that Andrew never kissed Neil on the rooftop that night. Instead, they just got closer and more comfortable around each other.

stars may collide by broship_addict, llheji

Moonlighting as Abram, member of the city's crime-fighting Foxes, Neil is doing a very bad job at staying under the radar. He's busy enough between his friends, patrol, and bickering with Andrew at work, but with the Ravens gang finally within reach and the reappearance of the Monster, he might have bitten more than he can chew.

(Or, how both Neil and Andrew accidentally fall in love with the same person twice. Lame.)

finger on the trigger/pedal to the floor by badacts, lightning_struck

Neil and Kevin, operatives for the highly secretive US body known only as ‘the Agency’, are very good at their jobs. Maybe Neil isn’t the patriot that Kevin is, but he can recognise the need for people like him, and, if nothing else, he is loyal. However, in the wake of an assassination attempt on the president foiled with the help of talented-but-civilian sniper Andrew Minyard, of the chipped shoulder and the uncanny knack for seeing right through people, Neil begins to question who it is giving him orders.

However, asking questions is a dangerous game. If Neil isn’t careful, he’ll end up dead - or worse than.

falling. by Idnis

The sun was bearing down on the park, on Andrew, on Neil Josten’s sketch, his auburn hair and blue, blue, blue eyes.

After a dozen tries, Andrew clicked through his photos. All the way to the first one. The one where Neil was staring straight at the camera.

Andrew’s breath caught.

flour petals, sugar stitches by ephemeralsky

“Thanks for coming with me,” she says, keeping her eyes trained in front of her.

“It is not like I had a choice in the matter,” Andrew says, blowing out a stream of smoke through his mouth.

Renee’s lips curl into a smile. “Maybe you’ll win our next sparring match and I’ll finally have to buy you ten cartons of Haagen-Dazs.”

“It cannot be worse than tagging along to a bridal boutique.”

“Maybe,” Renee allows, humor in her voice. “But what kind of man of honor would you be if you didn’t come with me to choose a dress?”

(or: Andrew is a baker, Renee is a bride-to-be, and Neil is a dressmaker)

Neil Josten the Sex God by manya

“Okay, look. My friends were kinda getting on my back about me being single, and I said that it was by choice and if I wanted to I could get anyone I wanted. And obviously that’s an extremely presumptuous thing to say, so they told me to prove it. So, uh, here I am. And here you are. And if you’d like to maybe help me out with this, that would be awesome.”

Andrew stares at Neil for a moment that seems to stretch on forever. “You want me to play along with you and pretend that you’re some kind of sex god?”

Crystal Clear by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Your crystal is your heart and soul, manifested. You must keep it safe. Neil and Andrew don't have typical crystals. For one, they aren't whole. They're little pieces, broken by years of wrong. But Kevin's magic shop brings them together, and they figure maybe broken doesn't mean destroyed.

Paint Me The Color of You by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Sound is supposed to be the language of love. Neil has never heard his soulmate. Never. Except he sees blue all the time, and then he meets Andrew and the entire world turns to color.

The Glass Mountain by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

The apples from the glass mountain are all anyone cares about. Anyone but Andrew, that is. Andrew is just trying to keep Kevin alive, despite Kevin's attempts to reach those apples again. The apples, and the captive prince at the top of the mountain.

Minyards' Magical Mischief by moonix for alexjosten

“No,” Aaron said. “Andrew, no.”

They locked eyes, and for a moment it was like they were eleven again, catching sight of each other for the first time across a crowded train platform.

“I confess,” Andrew said tonelessly, “to the murder of Drake Spear.”

(Or: an Auror and a murderer walk into an ice-cream parlour.)

If I Tried by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Neil is getting used to high school. He ends up getting used to a group of mismatched students, and he gets a little too used to one of them in particular. Maybe enough to go to prom.

library hours by lolainslackss for exybee

Andrew always sits across from the same guy in the library. The set-up suits him: they're both night owls, they're both relatively neat, and they both like the quiet. There's absolutely no need for them to get to know each other. This delicate balance shifts, however, when the guy sprains his ankle and Andrew finds himself breaking all his own rules and driving him to the emergency room.

A wintry college AU featuring all-nighters, homemade sushi, copious amounts of coffee, and many mixed-up feelings.

winter, formal by moonix for lolainslackss

Neil tries to get away from a boring conversation and accidentally ends up asking the most popular guy in school to dance with him at the winter formal.

faking it by flybbfly

After being photographed together, Neil and Andrew decide to roll with the rumors that they're dating.

Hot Thoughts by conniptionns

99: “Calm down. I look a lot worse than I am.”

Neil is hit by a car on the way to Dunkin Donuts, but he's totally okay

The Manny by mishaschmidt

Problem #1: Neil accidentally becomes the nanny of two adorable kids.

Problem #2: Neil somehow manages to fall in love with their father.

Fuck.

The Life of a Star by gluupor

Stars did not get sick and they did not age. If Neil's smart mouth didn't get him murdered (something which had a non-zero probability of occurring, according to Andrew) then he would continue on, immortal and unchanging.

It hadn't occurred to him that the same wasn't true for Andrew.

An epilogue for my Stardust AU.

None But You by gluupor

When Neil was eighteen he met and fell for Andrew Minyard. Their relationship seemed solid and unbreakable until Neil's mother found out about it and made him end it.

Six years later Neil still has a few regrets about breaking up with Andrew but he's completely over it. Really, he is. Although he does have to admit that it was easier to be over it before Andrew walked back into his life and started dating someone else.

A modern day adaptation of Jane Austen's Persuasion.

Tale as Old as Time by gluupor

In order to protect Aaron, Andrew ends up cursed into the form of a beast. The curse can only be broken if someone is able to see past his fearsome exterior and fall in love with the man he is inside.

Believing this to be impossible, he isolates himself in a run-down castle knowing he will be alone forever. After all, who could possibly be desperate enough to seek shelter with a beast?

Where You Lead by gluupor

When Neil promised Kayleigh that he'd look out for Kevin if anything ever happened to her he'd never expected to be a single teenage father hiding out in a small town. Luckily the town's residents seem keen to adopt them.

A Gilmore Girls AU where Kevin's a kid, Neil's his caffeine-addict father, and Andrew's a grumpy diner owner who loves them both.

Fake It 'Til You Make It by gluupor

Neil works three low paying, dead-end jobs and makes just enough money to afford a room to sleep in and to keep himself from starving. He has no prospects, no hope, no future. That all changes when a chance encounter results in a job offer that he can't ignore.

The job? Pretending to be professional exy player Andrew Minyard's boyfriend.

Andrew Versus the Truth by gluupor

Andrew has an unexceptional life working at an IT help desk in Southern California and living with his cousin. Then he gets an unexpected message on his birthday from his estranged twin brother and very strange things start happening. His computer catches fire, two attractive guys seem interested in him, and he keeps imagining that he knows classified CIA intelligence.

These things couldn't possibly be connected... could they?

Everything is Fine! by gluupor

"Hello," Dan said. "I'm sorry to tell you that you're all dead. This is the Afterlife; your placement here is dependent on your actions during your lifetime. Now, I have some exciting news for you-"

Nathaniel snorted loudly. "You don't expect any of us to actually believe that we made it into the Good Place, do you?"

"Why not?" asked Dan.

He jerked his thumb in Andrew's direction. "Well, before you came in, Exhibit A over here had just finished telling us that he died when he crashed a car on purpose in order to kill someone. What's the cutoff for how many murders committed before someone doesn't qualify for the Good Place anymore? Is it more than zero?"

"Speak for yourselves," cut in Kevin. "I think I deserve to be in the Good Place. I have a large number of devoted fans and am very talented."

Nathaniel was quiet for a beat, before pointing at Kevin. "Exhibit B."

Don't Break the Seal by gluupor

Living with the Spears and feeling desperate and alone, Andrew meets and befriends a seal who can turn into a boy.

In later years he comes to believe that the magical boy he met was just a hallucination. It is therefore very surprising when he meets him again after hitting him in the stomach with an exy racquet in a tiny town in Nowhere, Arizona.

Better Late than Never by gluupor

Andrew should have known not to ally himself with a lying runaway, he really should have known not to trust him, and he definitely should have known not to fall for him.

It's the Thought that Counts by gluupor

Andrew and Neil's relationship has many facets that are confusing to outsiders. The strangest may be their habit of giving each other the contents of their pockets and calling it a gift.

Too Gay to Function by gluupor

After school, Neil started to make the trek back to his uncle’s house when a shiny, black beast of a car screeched to a halt in front of him. The driver’s side window rolled down. “Get in, loser,” said Andrew. “We’re going shopping.”

Fast Boys and Hot Cars by gluupor

Minyard had gotten out of his car and was stalking towards Neil like a predator - a panther, maybe, or some other big cat. “Double or nothing,” he said, sounding unaffected and bored by the proceedings despite the fact that he’d just lost a race for the first time in years.

An Overdeveloped Sense of Vengeance by gluupor

“No one could be following us yet?” Kevin asked suddenly. “No one,” Riko said impatiently. “That would be absolutely inconceivable.” There was a pause. “Out of curiosity, why are you bothering me with such a stupid question?” “Oh, no reason,” answered Kevin. “It’s just that I looked back and someone is there.”

It's a Cruel World, Mr. J by gluupor

“And you? You think I’m a monster?” asked Andrew. “Maybe,” said Neil. “But I don’t think that monsters are born. They’re made.”

A Truth Universally Acknowledged by gluupor

“Palmetto Court has been let at last!” said Mr. Hemmick in raptures. “Mrs. Wymack reports that a single man of good fortune has taken Palmetto for a twelvemonth at least! What marvellous news for my dear cousins!”

It's Called a Hustle, Sweetheart by gluupor

“We need to find out who owns this license plate, but I don't have access to the police database yet," said Kevin. "Relax," said Neil. "I know a guy at the DMV."

bloom (just for you) by godotco

For lack of any better explanation for what was happening, Neil was in uncontrollable full bloom.

- A little slice of witch au turned flower shop au

#all for the game #AFTG #Andreil #Andrew Minyard #Neil Josten #Foxhole Court #fanfic #fic list #andreil fanfic

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fae-fucker · 5 years

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Zenith: Chapter 33-36

Chapter 33

So we’re back in Andi’s POV, finally. She’s woken up by Dex who is all worried and Andi vomits in his lap and then thinks about how sexy he is. Mind you, they are in a ship filled with corpses and there’s an unconscious and busted Valen near them who’s probably dying slowly, plus the vomit.

But I guess that just turns Andi on more? Discuss.

They find Valen barely alive among the corpses and Dex is surprised he’s not dead.

Hey bud. Didn’t you throw the guy down a flight of stairs a few chapters ago? I don’t think you’re in any position to make glib remarks, my guy.

Andi takes out the pilot with a shoelace, which, alright, and Dex says something about how she’s still afraid to fly a ship because she asks him to do it. Wow, an actual symptom of PTSD? In my Zenith? What a time to be alive.

The chapter ends with Andi angsting about how she’s had to murder another person. Except she didn’t have to do that. She could’ve just knocked the pilot out and locked them in the storage with the other corpses to get rescued later. The pilot didn’t know there were live people on board so they wouldn’t know who attacked them anyway. I mean yeah they’d probably sustain brain damage but they wouldn’t be dead.

Methinks Andi really likes murder and justifies it to herself by saying it’s a necessity.

Chapter 34

We’re in Dex’s POV and he’s complaining about how everything smells like trash on the Marauder now that Alfie took the door off the trash shoot.

Hey. Hey why don’t you just ... blast it out? Like. Just shoot the trash out. Why do you store it on the ship that gets lighter and faster when you spend ammo? You’re in space. Just blast that shit. Or convert it into biofuel. Apparently it smells of “unmentionable” things so that makes me wonder if they store their actual shit in there as well? What the fuck is in their trash department that it smells so bad? If they can’t blast out the trash (which makes no sense), why didn’t they get rid of it when they were getting repairs before the mission? Why didn’t they get rid of it during the numerous times they’ve landed? Why the fuck does this ship have a dedicated trash department anyway?

The little fire-haired gunner had wanted to know if the blood on Andi belonged to her or some “now-ball-less bastard,” to which the giantess had responded, Of course it’s not hers, Gil. And don’t say bastard. Say prick.

Comedy.

Dex is being patched up by Alfie (who is described as “fawning” over his wounds, which doesn’t sound right), and thinks about how he’s gonna drink himself into oblivion later. Alcoholism? Love it. I bet Shinsay will know exactly how to handle this, with how many references their super cool and mature characters make to getting absolutely shitfaced.

Dex sulks himself out of the “med bay” (Why don’t these idiots have medical staff? For the same reason they don’t have mechanics I suppose.) to go and update General Cortas on their progress.

The general is all grumpy and shit and reminds Dex that he’s in charge and can fuck him up good if anything happens to Valen, and tells him to keep Andi away from him. Because he thinks Andi will ... kill Valen too? I guess he thinks Andi is addicted to murdering his kids or smth.

Anyway, Dex gets all mopey because the big scary man said some mean things but then he hears classical music and enters Andi’s room. It’s time for some bullshit, lads.

Chapter 35

So finally we get the scene where Andi “dances” with the dead, which turns out to actually just happen in her head while she spaces out and cries. She imagines herself on a stage with an audience of ghosts of all the people she’s killed, and they come up and dance with her one by one and she “memorizes” their features. I’m not sure how she does that because the narration during action scenes keeps emphasizing how quick and cool she is so I have no idea how she can “memorize” the features of someone she’s probably only looked at for a couple of seconds at most. Also, I dunno why she’s memorizing something she clearly already remembers. I know it’s a nitpick but it’s just bad, y’all.

If this is supposed to be atonement ... God I hope it’s not. It’s honestly written like it makes Andi some sort of pure angel who just Does What She Has To, instead of just being a coping mechanism. Behold:

Tears streaked down Andi’s cheeks, pulling her from the vision she’d created so clearly in her mind. The music grew louder, silencing her tears. She closed her eyes and forced herself back into her mind. She owed this to the dead. This pain, this dance, this time where she gave herself fully to their memory.

Anyway, the last ghost is Kalee of course, and I’m not entirely sure how many people Andi’s killed if every single dance is as detailed and long as the ones with latest ghosts (the descriptions are quite lengthy so I assume it’s a couple of minutes or so), but it looks like Kalee’s ghost has to sit there and wait a while lmao. Even in death this brat can’t catch a break.

Sorry, I know I’m laughing at trauma here, but it’s not real trauma, it’s badly written melodramatic trauma. Like, I just don’t see someone who genuinely doesn’t like to murder people keep “crossing that line” (yes, apparently whenever Andi does a murder, she “crosses a line” she’s set for herself, wowza) and all they do for atonement is keeping a mental list and queue of all the fake made-up ghosts she needs to dance with. Like. I get that people cope differently but this is less of a coping mechanism and more Shinsay crossing shit off a list to make Andi more palatable.

I just don’t believe it. Not after I’ve seen how proud she is of being the Bloody Baroness and how Glorious it feels to Do A Murder.

Also, this chapter is rife with weird fucking grammar and writing in general. Some examples:

[Kalee] was dressed in a shimmering blue gown that swirled around her ankles like fragments of cloud.

“Fragments of cloud”????

The transport creaked. Groaned, as the fire licked closer and closer.

Why did you. Break, the sentence up like that.

The chapter ends with Dex giving Andi some time to pause her PTXD so they can have the talk she promised him. Which is nice of him, I guess. Despite being obnoxious and a dweeb, Dex manages to be better than every SJM love interest ever? Wow.

Oh but don’t you worry, it lasts uuuh until just now.

Chapter 36

Andi thinks about how sexie Dex is now that he’s washed the blood and vomit off and changed some clothes. Which ... there’s no mention of him doing since he returned from the corpse hauling ship ... The last chapter from his POV had him arriving at the Marauder and having his wounds checked, after which he instantly went to call General Cortas, and then he went directly to Andi.

I guess he’s got time travel powers? Or are we supposed to believe he showered before being brought into the med bay?

Whatever.

Dex says that Andi doesn’t know the “full story” behind the reason he turned her over to the Patrolmen, and Andi responds with:

“I loved you, and you threw me away like some common whore!”

But god forbid we actually say the word “sex” or stop being immature little shits every moment we make a dirty reference, amirite guys? Calling women whores and sluts is a-ok but if you even TRY to discuss sexuality in a mature and relaxed way you WILL get eaten by the mommy police.

Dex is like “pwease wissen to me :C” and she’s like “fucking dammit he’s just so hot not to listen to”:

She wanted him to hurt. To feel the soul-deep pain, just as she did. Physical wounds would heal, but the internal scars never would.

SOUL-DEEP PAIN.

Not sure Andi has a soul but go off.

“You were my whole world. You showed me that I could still be loved. When everyone else—an entire planet full of people—hated me so much they wished me dead, even my own parents...I found you. I started to live again. I started to trust. Then I lost you, too, just like all the others. You turned away, just like they did.”

Thanks for mapping out the exact reasons for your angst, Andi. It’s not like we’re clever enough to know you have trust- and/or abandonment issues.

More like Angstdi amirite?

Dex gets all defensive and instead of giving her the real reason for his betrayal, he starts mouthing off and justifying himself.

“I turned you in because you were running from the law! You lied to me about your past, Andi. I did nothing that wasn’t expected of me! My duty as a Guardian was to the welfare of the galaxy, not to some runaway Spectre who’d failed her entire planet! You made the choice to fly that transport ship. It was your hands that crashed it. Your failure that killed Kalee! You ran, Androma.”

H-hey bud? This is, as far as you know, your only chance to justify yourself. Maybe calm your tits and tell her what you’ve been keeping secret instead of confirming her beliefs about you? Since you were so desperate to talk to her?

No? Ok. For someone who displays some amount of emotional maturity (good god I can’t believe I just said that about fiking Dex Dogtective), you sure do get fired up easily, huh. Must be all that will-they-won’t-they tension.

They circled each other like predators, blood boiling, bodies shaking with rage as the stars looked on.

I can promise you the stars have better things to do than to give a shit about this petty squabble, Shinsay.

“Did you ever think about my side in all of this, Androma?” Dex’s voice cracked suddenly as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. “You may think you know the whole story, but you are so consumed by hate that you only see yourself.”

SO MAYBE STOP JUSTIFYING YOUR ACTIONS AND ACTUALLY TELL HER WHY YOU DID IT IF IT’S SO FUCKING IMPORTANT FOR HER TO KNOW?!

But no, we can’t have that yet. He follows it up with this:

“Your side of the story doesn’t matter. You sunk a knife into my chest. You stole my ship and left me to die.”

BECAUSE YOU TURNED HER OVER TO THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD MURDER HER.

CAN YOU MAYBE NOT?!

HOLY SHIT DEX DOGTECTIVE YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORON, AREN’T YOU?

No wonder she fuckin stabbed you. I would’ve stabbed you multiple times and made sure you were actually dead before leaving your sorry ass.

Anyway, they stare at each other and Dex is all “uwu ur the only woman I ever loved” and we all know that doesn’t mean bi!Dex because Shinsay can’t think of a their manly man getting dicked down by another man, nu-uh.

Then we finally get the reason Dex did it. You see ...

They had his dad. And threatened to kill him if he didn’t turn Andi in.

Yeah. That old chestnut. It does unfortunately open up all of the plot holes. Like for example, if they knew where Dex was, why didn’t they just ... find him and thus find Andi? They knew she was with him. He was a Guardian at that point, surely they know where their men are stationed? Apparently he’d known Andi for a year when he turned her in, and he hadn’t realized who she was until the general’s men approached him. So ... how did the Patrolmen realize he was with Andi if even he didn’t know it? Or did they just threaten a family member of every Guardian on the off-chance that one of them knew Andi and would give her up to save them?

Maybe there’s something I’m missing, but this smacks of contrivance for the sake of conflict.

Anyway, apparently Dex had tried to give Andi a head start the morning before he turned her in. By giving her a vaguely worded warning that she didn’t get.

What a peach.

They bribed Dex on top of threatening his father, which is like, beating him with the carrot stick, and I don’t understand it at all. But Dex feels very terrible about what he did to teh womaine he wuvs :c and apparently tried to plead with them that she was young and made a mistake.

“Andi,” Dex whispered. “Please. Look at me. Tell me we can move past this. We both made mistakes. We both made our choices, and we’ve had to live with them.”

Seems a little manipulative there, Dexyboy. I’m getting a lot of mixed messages, but the loudest one seems to be “you did a bad and I did a smaller bad that’s justified and I feel kinda bad but also you’re also at fault and can we bone again please” and I’m not into it, Dexyboy.

You wanted her to get away, to give her a head start. You agree that she’s innocent and she made a mistake when she was a child. Yet you blame her for stabbing you and fleeing from certain death? Ok.

I mean, I get it, getting stabbed probably ain’t so fun, especially when it’s the womaine you lurv :c, and sure maybe it hurts both physically and emotionally to have her turn on you so fast and without hesitation ... BUT YOU DID PROVOKE IT BY TURNING HER OVER TO PEOPLE WHO WOULD DEFO 100% MURDER HER ASS. If you love her so much, can’t you extend just a bit of sympathy for her actions? Since you are the reason she did those things in the first place? Fucking dumbass.

Also, why the fuck have you been acting like a huge cocky asshole this whole time since you reunited? For kicks?

I get Shinsay wanted a sexie snarky love interest just like SJMommy but they’ve done it at the cost of consistent characterization.

Andi says that there’s no getting back to how it was and tells Dex to leave so she can cry and carve more tallies into her swords.

It’s very deep, y’all.

#eff reads: zenith

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