#i never actually get downtime cus I’m fighting sucide thoughts
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Vent
#i know I’m sensitive…like I fucking know I have about 10 reasons I can site why too#i dunno why he had to do that#i thought I swept all of the stuff he does that annoys the shit out of me under the rug#but I’m just so fucking mad I wanna bite his emotionless head off#one time he was like ‘oh I wonder how you’d survive in our natural animalistic state that’s devoid of emotion’#he’s so fucking stupid I wanna punch his head until it actually works#hes not even like abusive so I just look like a brat if I try to defend my feelings#but my sister does the same things kinda too#i dunno I’m just tired of everyone laughing at me and thinking I’m just a lazy fuck up who’s enjoying diwn time#i never actually get downtime cus I’m fighting sucide thoughts#i don’t wanna be an adult and deal with other adults I’m so overwhelmed#lmao this is why I need a mommy dom so I can be a kid forever and leave society behind#I’m not even suicidal rn i don’t think I’m just so fucking sad and scared and tired#I’m so sad I just wanna be a lil kid forever my heart can’t take all of this anymore#like I only get 400 a month and I gotta make that last for groceries and stuff and my sister + money = stress#when I’m with my dad I don’t have to stress about money we just figure it out#that sounds spoiled but trust me if you read my other vents you’d know that I’m not my old house/my dads house is utter shit#toilet/shower doesn’t work there that’s why I ended up at my sisters#but I feel like my mental health has taken a huge decline#being autistic around neruotypical people is painful#i need a hug but I’m not gonna get one#that’s another thing: my sister doesn’t really do hugs#yeah it was annoying that I had to be the one to initiate hugs with my dad but at least he did#my sister is just so weird#whatever she’s vaild yadda yadda it fucking hurts not getting hugged so I don’t really fucking care about her feelings#she barely ever cares for mine#i LOVE my sister#i cannot live with her
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