#I’m so sad I just wanna be a lil kid forever my heart can’t take all of this anymore

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[cultgambles]

BNHA Soulmate AU

I know I did one for mysme (more than 2 years ago omg!) but BNHA deserves one too

Yes..i do realize how random this list is ? i dont care

Word count: 1200

Masterlist | Requests? open

Hawks: it’s impossible to lie to your soulmate/the truth comes out

You were just a pastry chef down near Hawks’ agency

“So, I heard you made pretty good treats here?” he asked one day, stepping up to the counter

Not a normal Tuesday anymore, huh?

“Yup! I think they’re pretty good. Anything you’re dying to try?”

“Yeah, you--” Hawks’ slapped a gloved hand over his mouth, mustering up the most apologetic look he could do

“Ha ha, I heard you were a charmer! I just didn’t expect you to be quite this forward. How about a chocolate croissant?” you blushed.

“Sure, that sounds great..”

“700 yen please!” Hawks drops the coins in your palm. You hand him the pastry and tell him to come again, to which he says he definitely will

He does, the next day, and the next, and even the one after that

Your shop is also getting more popular too, since his fans want to try and get a look see at him

“So, Hawks, how’s your hero work going?” You ask him one calm afternoon. He’s sitting at one of the booths, and you’re sweeping.

“S’aight. Spying for the league, no biggie.”

“HUH?”

“You weren’t...supposed to know that.” his eyes turn to slits and he stands, not much taller than you, but his wings make him look massive.

“Hey, hey! I’m not gonna tell anyone!” you throw your hands up. “Cross my heart and hope to die!”

“Well I don’t want you to die,” he sighs, “it’s strange, I can’t seem to keep any secrets to myself around you, I just wanna tell you everything.”

“I feel the same. That day we met, and you said that, I was ready to drop everything and leave with you just to please you.”

“Is that so?” he grins.

 Every time one of you tries to lie or hold back what you’re truly thinking, it’s like a burning in your chest 

One time y’all had a competition to see how long you could do it

Keigo won

He likes knowing you’re always transparent to him, much better than the commission

Aizawa: before meeting in real life, you meet in the dream world

Why is he always sleeping? Oh, cuz he’s tired from hero work, and he also gets to see you

Damn timezones, damn you for living in California…

“Sensei,” it’s three in the afternoon, don’t you think we should be in a lesson right now? Iida asks.

“It’s 10 at night in California,” he mumbles, turning over in his sleeping bag.

“What did he mean by that?” the others wonder aloud.

In the dream world, he sees you in a meadow filled with wildflowers

Your hair splayed out, the grass tickling your nose

“Shota! You’re here!” you laugh, “come lay in the flowers with me!”

“Hi, [Y/N],” he smiles, laying opposite to you

“What’s happening in Japan?”

“The villains have been acting up, but the kids are working just as hard at their own studies and quirks. How are you?” Aizawa laces his long fingers with yours

“That’s nice, I’m sure they appreciate such a good teacher. And there was a storm a couple days ago, so rainy.”

“Come visit me”

“Now?”

“Of course now” he says, serious as a heart attack 

It takes a lot of convincing, but he manages to do it

Only, you don’t tell him, so while you’re on your flight, he’s sleeping in class and you’re awake doing a crossword and he’s looking for u in the dreamscape like --where they at lmao

He comes home from work to see you sitting on his door mat

So mad you didn’t tell him lol

Edgeshot: your shadow is the same shape as your soulmate, and same for them

First of all, petition to have more edgeshot in fics LIKE...have you heard his sub voice? So fucking hot--

Anyways

You have a weird shape in general (cuz his hair) and then for it to just get real skinny sometimes? It’s just like whaaaaa

His (your shadow) is more normal person shape

Honestly finds you one day from just doing hero work

Happens to glance down as he’s changing his arm into a blade and sees it happen

You approach him after he’s on the ground with Mt. Lady for photos

And he made and off hand comment about how he thinks he saw your shadow changed but wasn’t too sure

So he invited you to dinner just to make sure what he saw was correct

Respectful guy 

Love him

Dabi: initials tattooed on your person 

T.T was written on the inside of your left wrist, and you always covered it with a yellow ribbon. 

Your mother had told you how detrimental soulmates were, especially since hers had left the two of you one summer evening

Sometimes it made you sad that she instilled that belief in you, but it quickly goes away since you basically live in the worst parts of town

There’s more important things to worry about than a silly soulmate, and obviously they aren’t that forever

Thus you found yourself in the League of Villains

It was the night Dabi and Toga stumbled in.

He said, “I go by Dabi now,” and you were curious.

You observed him like he did the whole group, his gaze never staying on you for long, but flitting over to you frequently

Dabi kept his distance from practically everyone, however he did like your no-nonsense personality and the fact that you didn’t bother him like everyone else

Unless for missions, that was really the only time he talked to you

He was curious about your ribbon though, but he kept that inside

He’s not stupid, it must be for some soulmate

Probably left you and that’s why you’re in the league, and you cover it up like you’re ashamed

He had a mark too, long ago, before it burnt off with the rest of his skin on his wrist

Some of it must still be there though, that area is slightly more raised than the rest

He tries not to think about it

Day of him telling the world who he is

Both your wrists feel hot

You untie your ribbon, and it looks the same, perhaps a little darker?

You stare at him, watching Dabi

He briefly looks down at his own wrist and then back at you

You barely notice his lips turn upwards, and then he turns around to do his lil dancey dance

Honestly don’t see him for a while after that, he’s having cool down time

Knocks on your door at the hideout one evening

“So it’s you?”

“It’s me”

He takes you up to the roof, and y’all just sit in silence

But a good silence...you think. Honestly hard to tell.

Soon enough, he grabs your arm and runs his fingers over his initials

“Touya Todoroki, it’s a great name,” you parrot back to him softly

“Your name ain’t that bad either, dollface”

[hawkinsindiana]

this changes things

ALMOST PARADISE: PART THREE - CHAPTER FOUR OF ELEVEN (!!)

pairing: steve harrington x henderson!reader

word count: 2.3k

a/n: we’re back to eleven chapters baby!!!! this one ended up being longer than i thought. i know i usually post on friday nights, but i couldn’t help but give you all a lil valentine’s day treat. pls enjoy!!!!

masterlist

Steve’s nervous. 

It’s down to the wire; there's only a few short weeks left of his final high school semester. Four out of five college applications have been rejected. Each one received has fed the anxiety more and more. 

Every day that passes without a lick of news from the remaining university has him reconsidering everything. His education. His career. His future.

The only thing Steve knows about his future is that he wants you in it, in whichever form that might be. You’re the constant. Without you, he’s afraid he’d eventually go back to being that person he was before. You make him want to be better. Trying to be worthy of you gives Steve purpose. 

He imagined that getting a college education would help keep him on that path. It seems farther away with each rejection letter he receives. 

Steve hasn’t told you that he hasn’t gotten into any so far. He’s afraid of disappointing you, especially after everything you’ve done for him. 

The spring of ‘85 has been particularly unforgiving. It’s been storming all week - the air still hangs with that familiar smell of rain soaked concrete. You read that the Hawkins Post reported a record amount of rainfall; the local stream overflowed and flooded a few basements. 

The mail is still damp when Steve retrieves it after practice. It sticks to his fingers as he shuffles through each envelope, drying his sneakers on the welcome mat. 

And then his eyes linger on one addressed to him; Steve nearly drops his backpack when he sees who sent it. 

Haphazardly, he tosses the rest of the mail onto the kitchen counter as he contemplates whether to even open the damn thing. Steve’s pretty sure he knows the answer. Is it an answer he wants?

Whatever the words inside this parcel read, it changes Steve’s life forever. His future is planned from the moment he breaks the seal - there would be no going back. Either he stays here in Hawkins, trapped by an education he neglected for far too long, or he gets to take a step to distance himself from this shitty town and prove his worth. 

Steve isn’t a fan of the former option.

He wishes you were here to read it for him. He’d rather you tell him the news; hearing it come from your lips would make it easier. 

By the time Steve decides to open it, a few minutes have passed. Why does this feel like the scariest thing he’s ever done?

Due to the water, some of the ink bled through the paper; pieces of the letter are illegible. But at the top, a familiar phrase answers his question: Unfortunately, we regret to inform you-

Steve curses, angrily throwing the envelope and its contents into the trash. He refuses to read anymore. 

He has no one to blame but himself. Maybe that’s why he’s so angry. There were multiple opportunities for him to change course and put effort into his schoolwork. By the time he finally tried, it was too late. 

Thunder booms in the distance once Steve parks his car beside your mother’s. He doesn’t remember deciding to come here; the only thing he can recall is grabbing the keys, without a destination in mind. His heart brought him to your warmth. 

As Steve gets out of the car, he wonders if this was maybe a bad idea. It isn’t very often that he feels afraid to face you - he’s scared of your reaction, and the outcome that could follow.

He knew that he could love you, that he could fall just as hard as you did for him. But admitting it to himself, and then you - he doesn’t know if he has the strength to do it again. That phrase has left a sour taste in his mouth, one that Steve hopes he can wash away. Because you deserve to hear it too. 

Maybe he’s closer to saying it than he thought, perhaps that’s why he’s so scared to tell you. Maybe-

“What the hell are you doin’ here?” Dustin’s voice startles Steve, who turns to see the boy walking his bike up the driveway. Steve fumbles his response, head spinning with thoughts about you, “I don’t, uh-”

Dustin interrupts him, not noticing the nerves Steve displays, “Hey, you should come in! It’s mac ‘n cheese night.” 

Steve hangs his head in defeat, knowing that he’s going to follow your brother inside. He can’t say no to this kid. 

Dustin hangs up his raincoat once the pair of them enter the house; the bell on Tews’ collar jingles as they run to greet the boys. The kitten weaves between Steve’s legs before he kneels down to give them a few pets. 

“That you, Dusty?” Your mother calls from within; clattering silverware echoes from the kitchen. Steve chuckles at the nickname. Dustin punches him in the bicep. 

He kicks off his shoes as he replies, “Hey Mom! Get out another bowl - look who I found loitering around.” 

Steve scoffs, shoving Dustin as they walk forward through the threshold into the living room. Your mom moves to welcome them; her warm smile widens when she sees Steve by her son’s side, “Well look who it is! Steve, sweetheart, how are you?”

He’s baffled by her every time he shares a meal with your family. Her kind soul is infectious, and drastically different from the parents he was raised by. Steve tries not to think about the fact her beloved pet is secretly buried out back - he’s reminded of it whenever he sees her. 

“I’m good, Mrs. Henderson. How are you?” Steve answers, returning her grin. She envelops him in a quick hug, “How many times am I going to have to tell you? Just call me Claudia, hon.”

Steve laughs along with her as he follows her to the kitchen, “I think you’ll need to remind me one more time.”

And then his eyes meet yours from across the room. They smile nearly as much as your lips at the sight of him; your heart flutters at this unexpected surprise. 

When you catch onto the sadness in his expression, the corners of your mouth drop. It’s obvious to you that something’s wrong. Steve doesn’t usually stop by without an invitation; something must’ve happened. 

Throughout dinner, you take mental notes on his deflated behavior. It’s subtle enough to fool your family, but you know him better. With each minute that passes, the more anxious you become to hear the cause. So when he volunteers to help you with the dishes, as he always does, you know it’s only a matter of time. 

“How was practice?” You ask before drying off a cup. Steve takes it from your hand as he replies, “Uh, it was good. Although it’s annoying that we’re still practicing even though the season’s over.”

You hum in agreement as he places the glass on the shelf. Steve glances back at you briefly, “What about you? What’d you get up to?”

A beat passes - you’re looking for the words to describe your afternoon. Maybe not the words, but the courage. It’s only when he turns around, brow creased, do you answer him. 

“I studied at Nancy’s,” You say. Steve’s eyes widen in surprise, “Oh yeah? How’d that go?”

You nod your head, focusing your gaze onto the floor, “It was nice, actually. It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be.”

“Now when you say studying…” He trails off for a moment as he thinks, “You two didn’t… exchange notes about me or anything, did you?”

Steve’s growing smirk makes you laugh; you hit him playfully with the towel, “No! And I haven’t told her, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

A part of him can’t help but be relieved. There’s no limit to what you two could chat about.

“We just ended up talking about college most of the time,” You add, “She wanted to know some tips since she’ll be applying soon.”

Steve grabs a plate to dry; in order to try and quell his anxiety, he has to do something productive. But your mind recognizes it as a distraction - you’re no stranger to coping mechanisms. 

“Have you figured out where you’re gonna go yet?” He questions, praying your answer isn’t far; lightning flashes outside the kitchen window, followed closely by the low rumble of thunder. 

You sigh as you lean back against the counter, “I’m not sure. Nancy was helping me talk through my options earlier, but it’s such a big decision to make. I wanna make sure it’s the right fit.”

Steve nods slightly, forehead creasing as he wipes his hands on the towel. And by the way he clenches his jaw at your reply, you know that this is the source of contention. 

You nudge his leg with your foot, “What about you? Get any responses back?”

The breath hitches in Steve’s throat; there’s no way this conversation doesn’t end with his reveal. The longer it takes for him to speak, the more concerned you grow. 

“I, uh-“ A sigh passes his lips as he grips the counter, keeping his focus away from you. He doesn’t want to witness your reaction. 

“I didn’t get in,” Steve mutters. He exhales, shaking his head in disbelief; until now, it almost didn’t seem real. It took admitting it to you for his brain to accept it. 

You shift on your feet, unsure of what to say. Over the past few weeks, you and Steve had been discussing how your relationship would persist once you both had made your college commitments. This wasn’t an outcome either of you prepared for. 

“Holy shit, Steve. I’m sorry…” You whisper. Steve pushes his face into his hands; his voice is muffled from behind his palms, “Yeah, yeah… holy shit.” 

You don’t hesitate any more to comfort him. Steve straightens as you place your hands on his arms; he melts into your touch, unable to prevent you from turning his body to face yours. 

“Hey, it’ll be fine,” You reassure him, “College isn’t the only option, you know. There are other things you could do.” 

The expression on Steve’s face breaks your heart. You’d do anything to wipe it away and brighten his mood. But Steve just sighs again, appreciating your efforts to help him, but nothing seems to be working. 

“How’d your parents react?” You ask. The only thing keeping Steve grounded to this moment is the firm grip you have on his shoulders; he thinks he’d float away without it. 

He scoffs a bit; the sound breaks the deafening silence that formed as he thought of a response. His eyes are still focused downwards as he finally answers you, “They don’t know yet. I just got the last letter today. I couldn’t think of going anywhere else.”

When your fingers brush against his cheek, Steve instinctively moves his hands to rest on your waist, “I’m sorry, I just-”

Steve finally lifts his head. Your eyes are wide, pupils filled to the brim with nothing but your fondness for him. All of a sudden, he’s confused why he was so scared to tell you. He realizes that he never should’ve doubted you. 

“I was scared this would change things. Or that you’d be disappointed in me or some shit.”

Your brow furrows as you laugh softly - baffled by his words, “What could ever make you think that I’d be disappointed in you?” 

A flash of previous memories answers your own question. You decide not to pull on that thread anymore. 

“This changes things,” You mutter. Your eyeline drops as you pause, choosing your words carefully before continuing, “But it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Finally, Steve feels a bit of relief. The sincerity in your voice calms the fear, and a deep exhale allows him to let it go. Your compassion and understanding permits him to begin thinking clearly again. He knew there was a reason he came here. 

You’re right though. This does change how you both navigate the future. But with you here to support him, Steve figures he’ll be just fine. 

“I mean…” The corner of your mouth curls up at the thought that pops into your head, “The only way my opinion of you changes is if you killed my brother or something like that.”

Steve chuckles slightly, “But Mike’s still fair game?”

“Oh yeah, go ahead,” You quip, “He’s had it comin’ for a while.” 

Even though your voices are hushed, the joke still makes you crack a pair of brilliant smiles; it almost makes Steve forget about his future for a moment. Standing here in your arms, Steve can’t help but realize how safe he feels. 

And then you sigh, reaching up to brush back a lock of his brunette hair - the sensation of your touch fills Steve with something new, something different. A direct contrast to the violent storm brewing outside, this is soft, warm, and golden. Like daylight.

Your eyes meet again. Honestly, he’s not sure he ever wants to look at anything else. 

Your hand lands on his chest, “This doesn’t make me love you any less.”

Steve throws caution to the wind - he kisses you. And already, you can tell that this is one you’ll remember. His lips are soft against yours, but without sacrificing an ounce of passion. You almost forget that someone could walk in and expose your relationship; when Steve finally pulls away, it doesn’t matter anyways.

As if you weren’t left breathless enough from his kiss, the words he mutters afterwards could’ve done it themselves. 

With one of his trademark smirks plastered across his face, Steve moves to hold your head between his palms, “Fuck, I love you.”

You kiss him again so quickly that you both didn’t have enough time to wipe the twinkling grins from your lips. Your noses are squished against each other, but neither of you cares enough. Your shared love dulls the pain. 

Steve smiles into the kiss even further. This is what it’s supposed to feel like.

—   taglist: @djjarin / @hannarudick / @crazycookiecrumbles / @hellisateenageheather / @alewifex / @l0ve-0f-my-life / @naomiiiiiiiiiii04 / @daddystevee / @thecaptainsgingersnap / @let-the-imaginationflow / @asianravenpuff / @im-a-stranger-thing / @mikariell95 / @pilunb / @harringtherin / @royalestrellas / @ultrunning / @buggs177 / @poutfull / @yoheyyosup / @duchessdaisybat / @janieavalos / @sassisaluxury / @beththebubbly / @i-bitch-you-bitch / @captainstilinskis / @juliebean247 / @im-nada / @whatabeautifulsurrender / @rexorangecouny / @pass-me-jeez-it / @ahoy-scoops-troop / @halefirewarrior / @jointhehunt67 / @peanutem / @ketchuplukehemmo / @m-a-r-i-n-t-p / @fangirl485 / @emmegirl827 / @lookalivesunshine-x / @elite4cekalyma / @marjoherbo / @just-my-fandom / @idumpyourgrass / @alafolieee / @mochminnie / @phantomalchemist / @dustyblueboo / @alonewolfsblog / @ggclarissa / @hufflepuffing-all-day-long / @bippityboppitybabe / @readinthegarden12 / @bakugouishusbando / @stxtch72 / @random-girl-army / @wisdaemon / @thatawkwardlittlefangirl

if you want be added to the taglist, just lemme know!

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉  skz with pregnant!reader 

bangchan x reader | first part of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & a tinge of angst

↬ warnings; pregnancy, birth, talk of vomiting, and lots of cursin

↬ notes; fuck i love bangchan sm and im excited dis the first part of daddy!skz o whateva

from the moment he knew, he honestly was scared at first and just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t going to be a father

he needed time to evaluate it all, he was honestly confused and scared, he was nervous and doubtful of his parenting skills and providing eighteen years + many years after for his child

u were nervousssss as helllllllllllllll to tell him what was up

“well, i’m- y’know- baby?” you tried to get out, ur words were hella scrambled and he was confused before he came to the realization of what you meant 

silence which is vv concerning 

u knew this was a shot in the dark sorta, u two weren’t even public on the relationship let alone public about a pregnancy?

u guys ended up taking a break for about a month, really not knowing what to say to each-other

u two were afraid, which was normal, u just rly didn’t expect it from chan of all people to walk away from u

anybody else u could expect,, but this?? this was unlike him & u were more scared by that

he wound up at your place, box in hands

(u were kinda at ur breaking point bc u thought he was returning ur things)

(newsflash it was his stuff)

“i’m sorry, i just— being a father? being a parent, i don’t.. i don’t know anything about it, but nobody does when they become one. so, i’m gonna figure it out with you.”

going through the first sonograms w him & crying a lot while u two talked about the future

ur hormones r going to be the death of chan

u are 0-100 holy mooolyy

hes very careful with his choice of words and how he delivers them, not wanting to upset you

chans first present for the baby is a kangaroo, with a matching little joey 🥺

he also is surprisingly a very big fan of kanga from winnie the pooh, which he buys winnie the pooh stuff for the baby JSJSJSJSJJS just bc kanga & roo remind him of u n the baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i rly need to stop)

u were a lil big, having a cute big bump to pair with ur pregnancy, the inevitable announcement was needed to happen if u were ever going to step outside again

chan rly didnt want to announce it bc he didnt know what peoples reactions would be :(

he knew he was only twenty-seven so some people might think it was a bit too early to have kids, but he thought it was perfect the way it was

u guys hid it until u couldn’t, sparking little rumors of ur pregnancy but u both decided not to confirm them

chan obsessing and literally worshipping you in your third trimester

u in his shirts? he was fuckin over

kisses and cuddling all the time, no matter how tired u were or he was, u two would either fall asleep while doing so or lay there for awhile before u were like

“ok i gotta pee, help me up!!”

no but frfr this baby was torturing u the last stretch of ur pregnancy

it seemed that anything u ate either made u throw up or gave u heartburn

ur stretchmarks were getting worse & it seemed like u were getting bigger everyday

u were very insecure the last months, just cause a lot of comments were talking about a bit of weight gain in ur face, which fuck,, u would never be hurt by some comments but with ur hormones and KNOWING u have put on weight, u rly didn’t feel the same

ofc chan knows whats up and hes there to tell u some r e a l s h i t

“okay, yes. you have put on weight, but you’re pregnant. that’s the good thing about it, you’re healthy okay? whether you had a small bump and no extra weight put on or a big bump and extra weight put on, you are carrying a baby. you can lose the weight when it’s over, right? you don’t need to feel this way, okay? i’m the only one who you should listen to about your appearance, i’m here to tell you the truth. you are beautiful. you are the morher of my child, that’s what you are. you’re not ugly, or fat, you’re not anything bullshit that people say to you.”

when u started crying, chan panicked

“nononononoono, don’t cry baby!”

his arms were wrapped around you so tightly, feeling your face pressed against his shoulder and your arms around his neck

“i love you.” u would be rly quiet and his heart would break at the sound but ur i love you, he just— it was so real and he’d never felt like this before

“love u too.” he’d say that shit so proudly and kiss the TOP OF UR HEAD SO SOFTLY 🥺🥺🥺

when u finally went into labor, u were like wow this hurts a F U CK TOO NNN

u woke up to the bedsheets soaked underneath u, pins n needles were all u could feel

u kinda sat there for ten minutes, scaring urself n making urself nervous when u started doubting yourself and feeling the pain become stronger

ur hands were s hh aa kkyy

u would tap chan so softly and feel a little frustrated he didnt wake up but like how tf was he supposed to feel that 😳

u kinda started crying now because u were STRESSED and him not waking up (no shit ur little tap wasnt gonna work but) it felt like he was gonna sleep forever

so ur hands pressed on chan’s shoulders, shaking them a little bit and letting out a,

“chris?” which ur voice was quiet as hell, shaky as hell, and wavering as you whispered to him

him opening his eyes to see your teary ones n hes just so sad that his heart drops 🥺

he never wakes up quicker though and hes sitting up fast as fuck

“what? what’s wrong?”

ur literally sobbing and hes freaked out by this because u have never cried like this

he kinda just wants to go back to bed since ur just crying but he knows smth is probably wrong because ur SOBBING so

“my water broke.”

now its his turn to be nervous cause fuck he is feeling so unprepared

he said fuck shoes on u, slipping u into his own clothes and helping u into the car so u two could go

did i forget to mention the hospital was an hour away 😳

he wants to pull over hearing u whine n grip his hand, noticing ur quietness and ur little mumbles everytime u rest ur head back after a contraction

he doesn’t give a fuck, he will carry u into the hospital and then put u in a wheelchair from the entrance so u don’t have to walk

u have a feeling maybe hes more nervous than u but atm ur fuckin close to losing it over the pain

u two are settled into a room, epidural done and just trying to make u comfortable now

u were seven centimeters which u still had to wait but u both knew u were close to meeting ur baby

when u are at ten centimeters though, chan is just a ball of tears and he’s just so proud of you

your hand was in his the whole time, chan’s lips near ur ear and he’s just whispering for u to concentrate on him and how much u wanna meet the baby

“i—i can’t do it!” 🥺🥺

you were honestly so drained and ur forehead was laced with sweat, ur hands sweaty and shaking in his own from being nervous and slowly becoming weaker as u put ur strength into pushing

“baby, you are probably what? three pushes, maybe you can cut it to one and a half. alright? you can do this baby, we’re so close to meeting our baby.”

that’s all u needed n chan knew it

surprise surprise,, chan was right about one and a half

“it’s a boy!!” which chan would press his lips to yours so quickly, u two crying and letting out watery laughs as your baby boy cried 🥺

he hasn’t felt this much pride and love since debut or releasing an album or tour, he couldn’t express how gifted he was to have deserved the gift of being a father

ofc they introduce you both to kangaroo care, chan so ready to take off his shirt and feel his baby boy’s skin against his own warm skin and he did so

then it was ur turn to hold him the same way, chan asking u if he could pull down ur gown so u could hold him like he did

that was the picture he needed, snapping it and getting you holding the baby against your naked (ofc ur gown was covering ur breasts) chest, your son sleeping soundly with his hands pressed against you

u two were parents now, u both had learned about pregnancy together and now u two were going to explore parenthood together

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[babyboy-cody]

uhhhh not to be cliche but what abt willard and his sweetheart’s first time sleeping together, it’s just a nice thought 🥺

The night was filled with soft laughter, tender touches, and gentle gazing in the eyes. The endless amount of compliments Willard gave your cooking and appearance had you blushing for minutes. It felt like you were teenagers again, so incredibly shy over ever little thing he did or said. But that’s what made him fall more and more in love with you. The way you became so flustered in just seconds makes him want to do it more, and just the sounds of your soft laughter makes his heart jump. As you peered at him across the table, you can make out the hearts in his eyes as he rests his jaw on his fist, his eyes never leaving yours for a second. His other arm was crossed over the table, his long thumb tapping against the knitted cloth lightly.

“Wanna know somethin’, peach?” He suddenly asks, his voice low and gentle as he doesn’t want to ruin this romantic moment between him and his sweet girl.

“What’s that, Will?” You shyly rest and rest your jaw on your hand, desperate to get closer to him but not wanting him to forget his words.

“Ain’t ever felt this before with anyone,” he mutters and chuckles to himself. “Ain’t ever had someone care for me as much as you, love me as much as you, and the list can go on and on, darlin’.”

“Will..” you were speechless.

“We’ve been together since we were kids and I don’t see myself bein’ with someone that ain’t you. I’m gonna marry you one day, peach. I promise you. It’s just gonna take some time for me to get the money to get a beautiful ring on that pretty lil finger of yours. But I’m promisin’ you. I will marry you,” he speaks so sincerely and genuine, the hearts in his eyes never leave as yours tear up graciously.

You don’t say anything for a moment, and it’s beginning to worry Willard. He’s not sure if you’re crying out of sadness or happiness. He’s not sure if he’s the one you want to marry in the future or start a family. But to him, you’re his soulmate, his person, his number one girl. He’s not sure what to say then and there as you choke back a sob.

“Peach,” he whispers and stands up to move to the seat closer to you. “Look at me.” He ducks his head to catch your tearing gaze, his large hands cupping your smooth jaw to wipe his thumbs under your eyes. “I mean what I said. You hear me?”

“Yeah,” you whisper and sniffle as you let out a shaky laugh, your smaller hands holding onto his wrists to keep his own pressed against your face, needing to feel him at that moment – that skin to skin contact was always enough to keep you grounded. “I feel the same, Will. I see myself being Misses Russell and havin’ our own children runnin’ around.” Willard lets out a hearty laugh and wipes away a lone tear that slides down your rosy cheek. “I picture them to be two little boys and a girl.”

“Yeah?” He mumbles and pulls your chair closer to him, causing you to gasp and blush fiercly as you forget how strong he was sometimes. “You want me to get you all pregnant with my children?”

You nod and look at his plump lips before looking up at his dark green eyes, his pupils wide and black. One of his hands moves from your cheek and slowly moves down to your chest, his fingers playing with the buttons of your dress. His thumb trails over your erect nipples, and you have to swallow down a gasp when he lightly pinches the sensitive nub.

“Don’t think I didn’t hear that, peach,” Willard tells you with a little grin on his smug face.

His hand lowers even further down as it disappears between your thighs and underneath your dress. The minute his fingers touched your desperate clothed core, your thighs immediately shut and you grabbed his wrist to holt him.

“Will!” You gasped, eyes wide and cheeks red.

“What?” He grinned wolfishly and scooted closer to your trembling body as he pushed his hand further against your clothed pussy until his fingers were pressed against your clit. “I think it’s time you begin to feel good, peach. You don’t know how hard it is seeing you scurry around in those little dresses of yours and not bein’ able to slide right between these thighs and fuck you until the sun comes up.” He torturously rubs circles on your clit, savoring your little noises and the way you try to keep your eyes from rolling back.

He suddenly slides his hands into your panties, causing you to press your back against the wooden chair you’re seated on. Willard rubs his fingers all around your pooling slick, the damp fabric of your panties snug against his knuckles. He curses lowly to himself at the feeling of your wetness. He can’t even imagine how tight you’re going to be when he dips his fingers inside.

“Tell me what you want, peach. Just use your words and I’ll give you whatever your heart desires,” he tells you, grinning and chuckling when you let out a small squeak when he he taps his fingers against your swelling clit.

“I-I need... I need... mmph..” You can barely keep your eyes open, let alone speak like Willard wants you to. He hasn’t even done anything except some heavy petting. You didn’t realize how sensitive you really were, but he has that effect on you. “Need more.”

When your eyes open, he pulls his hand away and grabs your face in his hands to pull you close to him. When his lips finally touch yours, you let out a soft moan of relief. You desperately push your lips harder against his as your hands hold onto the sides of his neck, your fingers curling into his soft hair. As his warm tongue enters your mouth, you’re eager to taste him. The faint taste of wine on his tongue was intoxicating and made your pussy ache for more. You nibbled on his bottom lip, reveling the deep groan that makes his broad chest vibrate.

“Please, Willard,” you desperately beg as you pull away from his lips. “Please give me what I need.”

“I’m gonna give it to you, peach,” he mumbles and suddenly stands up so fast that the chair legs scratch behind him on the wooden floor.

You stand as well, putting your hands on his shoulders as he lifts you by your thighs. You squeal and hold onto him tightly as he blindly walks around the corner to your shared bedroom. He kisses you so slow and deep as he bumps into furniture along the way. You giggle against his lips as he enters the bedroom and kicks the door closed with his foot. He lays you on the bed, forcing a gasp out of your chest. You lift up on your elbows and plant your feet on the bed, slowly spreading your thighs as your dress pools around your hips. Willard groans deep and begins to unbutton his plaid shirt, showcasing his white wife beater.

“Come on, big boy,” you call to him in a sultry voice, making a come hither motion with your finger as you bite down on your bottom lip as he removes his plaid shirt.

“Yeah?” His voice was husky and it made you exhale a shaky breath quietly as he slowly slides his massive hands down your thighs to hook his fingers into your white cotton panties before slowly pulling them down, all while maintaining strict eye contact with you.

You suddenly felt shy when he threw your panties to the corner. And then you were suddenly aware that you and Willard were going to make the next step as an unmarried couple. Your thighs shut and you sit up fully straight, pulling your dress down to cover yourself. Willard pulls away and takes a seat right next to you, noticing how nervous you suddenly seemed.

“What’s goin’ on, peach? Did I do somethin’?” He asks you so gently and softly, not sure if he should take your hand in his or press himself close enough so he can pull you into his arms.

“You did nothing wrong, Will,” you assured him, laying a hand on his arm lightly. “It’s just.. isn’t it wrong? We ain’t even married yet.”

“So?” He laughs lightly. “This is somethin’ we both want, right?” You nod and hum an affirmation. “And we both love each other.” You nod again. “So what’s stoppin’ us from finally connectin’ as a whole?”

You sat there quietly for a few long seconds, taking in his words and letting it go through your head. You were always learned that performing sexual acts before marriage was a sin, and the thought of you not getting into heaven terrified you because you were a good girl growing up. Willard changed that, however. He showed you more than you’ve been taught in your lifetime. And you wanted to explore lots of things with him, married or unmarried. He’s your forever man and you’ve never been more ready until now.

“Take me, Willard,” you whispered, gently placing a hand on his cheek to draw his head towards yours. “I need you to make love to me like it’s the end of the world and all we got is each other.”

He says nothing more. Instead, he leans in close and presses his warm lips to yours, pulling a sweet moan from you as your other hand goes to the other side of his neck. Willard’s hands curl around your hips and he pushes you back gently to lay you flat on the bed. When your thighs spread open to accommodate his large body, you become aware that just a few moments ago he removed your panties. You blush and let out a small whine of embarrassment, lightly biting your thumb between your teeth. Willard pressed hot, wet kisses up and down your neck, grinning wolfishly when he felt your hips jerk against him.

“So sensitive,” he comments in your ear, his hot breath against your skin causing your eyes to close and your thighs to jerk around his hips.

He unbuttons the four buttons that keep the chest area of your dress closed and snug. When you feel the cool air of your room hit your warm skin, that’s immediately replaced by Willard’s lips. He kisses the valley between your breasts, humming lowly as he pushes the fabric aside and sucks your nipple into his mouth. You throw your head back and gasp, moaning wantonly and grabbing onto his arms. Your hands are everywhere. In his hair, grabbing onto his wife beater, grabbing the sheets. He sucks your other nipple into his mouth, this time using his teeth and gently scraping the sensitive erect bud.

“Oh god,” you cried out, feeling the tingling sensation in your stomach increase as you thrashed your hips around, desperate to ease that pressure. “Please, please, oh please.”

“What do you need, peach?” Willard asks you lowly, pushing hair away from your face to take in your flushed cheeks, parted lips, and the blown out pupils of your eyes. “Tell me and maybe I’ll give it to you.”

“More, I need more,” you gasped, almost on the verge of crying because of how needy you are, the feeling in your core becoming almost too intense to handle. “Please, fix it.”

“Fuck.. how could I say no to those pretty little sounds of yours?” He pulls away briefly to remove your dress completely, leaving you bare and out of breath under him. “Look at my pretty little peach.” He reaches a hand down to brush his thumb across your warm, pink cheek. You nudged your head closer and closed your eyes with a smile, giggling softly as you open them to find Willard grinning as if he’s won the jackpot.

“Why are you lookin’ at me like that, Will?” You shyly asked, trying so hard not to cover yourself.

“Cause.. you’re gonna be my wife,” he lets out a chuckle and shakes his head to get himself out of the daydreams of your future ahead. “And we’re gonna grow old together with all our children. Just you and me, yeah?”

You nod and smile so wide that your cheeks hurt. Willard removes his tank top amd begins unbuckling his brown belt. “Let me,” you stop him and sit yourself up so you’re within eye level with his stomach. He looks down at you with parted lips as you shyly kiss up and down his slim stomach, his tan skin so warm and soft against your lips. You pull his belt from the hoops and lay it on the floor. As you unbutton and pull the zipper of his pants down, you became aware of his hardness staring right at you. Your mouth waters and you can’t stop yourself from eagerly pulling down his boxers and taking his tip into your mouth, moaning softly and shutting your eyes.

“P-Peach,” he huffs out a disbelieved laugh and throws his head back, groaning quietly as you suck more of his cock into your mouth, your tongue swirling around his leaking tip. He huffs out a small laugh as you eagerly lower your head to take more of him down your throat, easily swallowing him up. His eyes widen when you barely gag as he looks down at you in shock, your lips nearly touching his pelvis as you look up at him with those teary, beautiful, doe eyes that he fell in love with so long ago. “Christ, you really know what you’re doin’, huh?”

You pull off of him with a lewd wet pop, wiping your lips shyly with the back of your hand. You smile bashfully and twiddled your fingers. “Did I do good?”

He grabbed your cheeks and eagerly kissed your wet lips, groaning and breathing softly against them. When he pulled away, he looked into your eyes, acknowledging your blown out pupils and flushed cheeks. “Absolutely fuckin’ perfect,” he huskily tells you. “Now lie back. Go on now.”

You lie back and eagerly spread your thighs when he began to shrug off the rest of his clothes. You bit your lip and curled your toes in anticipation when he settled on his knees between your spread thighs. His large, warm hands settled in the crook of your knees before he pushed them towards your chest and spread them even wider, forcing your cunt lips to spread apart as well.

“Will!” You exclaimed, giggling into your hands as you covered your face. “What’re you doin’?!”

“Since you got to have a taste,” he lowly tells you as he lowers his head to press kisses on your lower stomach, slowly moving towards your inner thighs as he licks and nips the skin gently. “It’s only fair if I get a little taste too.”

As his kisses get closer and closer to your core, you wiggle your hips impatiently, desperate for him to devour you as if you were his last meal. He seems to get the hint as he looks up at you with those muddy green eyes. When his tongue touches your clit, you whimpered and refrained from shutting your thighs. He sucks your clit into his mouth, groaning low in his throat as his tongue eagerly licks up your wetness. This new sensation felt so weird and so good, you needed more of it. Willard licks and sucks all around, getting you even more wet from his saliva. When his tongue slowly enters your tight hole, your eyes roll back and you desperately grab onto his head.

“Oh, fuck!” That’s the first time you’ve ever cursed, but it sounds like music to his ears. “Please, please, oh please, Will.”

“Best meal I ever had,” he breathlessly says, his tongue flattening over your clit with such pressure that it makes your thighs quiver and toes curl. “So sweet just like a peach.”

He crawls up towards your body and brackets his arms on either side of your head. The skin to skin contact felt amazing. It made you feel safe and grounded and comfortable. His skin was warm and clammy and soft against yours. With his chest brushing against your hardened nipples and his cock laying against your dripping cunt, you couldn’t be more ready for the next step. You look up at him with such love in your eyes that it nearly made him emotional. He pushes your hair back from your sweaty brow and kisses you so gently.

“Make love to me, Willard,” you whisper against his lips, peering into his eyes and pushing his hair back from his forehead. “I need to feel you.”

“Fuck, darlin’. When you talk like that, it’s enough to make a man cum right then and there,” he whispers and kisses your swollen lips once more. “Ready? You can back out any time, okay? I want it to be special.”

“I’m more than ready,” you tell him as you wiggle your hips, moaning softly as his cock slides against your clit. “Please, Willard. Don’t make me beg more.”

He reaches between your slick bodies and grabs his cock, slowly grinding between your puffy cunt lips to gather that wetness. You mewled and buried your face in his shoulder as he very slowly pushes inside inch by inch. Your mouth falls open as you swallow down a gasp, your nails lightly digging into the skin of his arms as your toes curl on either side of his thighs. He huffs out a small laugh in your ear, causing goosebumps to rise at the nape of your neck. It stung so good, the girth of him filling you so perfectly. He slowly pushes every inch inside you until his pelvis is touching yours completely. You pant softly and pull him down for a passionate kiss with tongue and teeth involved.

He grinds against you, loving how sharp and high pitched your gasps are and how you try so hard not to let your eyes roll back. He watches your brow muscles twitch when he pulls back and fucks into you with a hard thrust. He tests the waters and does it again, and again, and again. Soon he finds a rhythm that has you moaning loudly in his neck. He groans and grunts, clenching his jaw as your tightness envelopes him repeatedly. The slick sounds of his balls slapping against your dripping wet lips makes him so animalistic. He grabs your jaw and pushes your head back into the pillows, needing to watch you as he fucks you nice and good.

“You like this, honey?” He breathes heavily, eyes threatening to shut when you clench around him involuntarily. “You’re taking me so good, you know that, right?” You nod and hold onto his biceps tight when he speeds his hips. “That’s my girl.”

The churning in the lower pit of your stomach is slowly increasing. You throw your head back to cry up at God, pleading for that strong release and begging for forgiveness at the intense amount of pleasure you’re receiving. It’s all so sinful, but so right. Willard’s cock filled you to the brim, making it almost impossible to concentrate on forming words. You mumble incoherently and scratch down his back.

“W-Will,” you squeaked, your eyes filling with tears as he fucks you. You can’t even think as every one of your senses are clouded with him. He kisses you again as your small body jolts with every thrust. “Mmmpphh..”

“You feel so good,” he whispers huskily, lowering his head to kiss up and down your neck, wrapping his arms under your back to hold you tighter to his body. “You make me so happy, peach.” The first few tears slide down your cheeks, and then you can’t stop them. Even when he’s fucking the daylights out of you, he’s still so sweet and romantic.

“Y-You make me s-so happy too,” you cry out, curling your toes so hard that you feel them crack. “I love you so much!”

“I love you too,” he grunts, passionately kissing you once more. “My pretty little soon-to-be wife.”

His hand trails down the side of your thigh before grabbing it and hiking it further up his hip. The angle made him reach deeper than he did before. Your eyes widened as you let out a small shout, your body trembling as you feel your slick sliding down your hole and onto the covers. Willard grins wolfishly and kisses your forehead as he slows his hips down to a deep grind. Your eyes cross and roll back as you groan, your hands desperately grabbing at any part of him.

“I f-feel..” you couldn’t get your words out when his smooth pelvis rubs your clit and his cock twitches inside of you. “Will...”

“You feel what, honey?” He chuckles and begins to fuck you again, holding the back of your neck and lowering his forehead onto yours. “Gonna cum?”

You frantically nod and hold onto the sides of his neck. His hot breaths spew onto your lips. You kiss him again, lightly nibbling his bottom lip as you softly cry out again. You feel that tingly sensation spread all over your lower half. Your entire body is buzzing with excited nerves. You feel a little dizzy. You can feel it; that throbbing in your core. Before you can warn him, you feel this little knot explode, causing your back to arch and your head to throw back into the pillows as you cry out in pure ecstasy. Willard moans gruffly and sits up on his knees, grabbing your hips, and fucking you hard enough to make the metal headboard and bed springs creak. You grab onto the pillows and close your thighs shut as you nearly finish your orgasm. He forcefully spreads your thighs and throws his own head back as he presses himself deep inside before cumming inside you. His abdominal muscles clench as he lets out a strained groan when you clench around him. Breathlessly, you giggle at him. He looks up at you with a lovesick grin.

“What?” He asks as he slowly pulls out of you, biting his bottom lip as he sees his cum dripping out of your inflamed pussy. “Fuck..”

“We just had sex,” you giggled again and bashfully covered your face. “My mama will be so upset.”

“Which is why this will be our little secret,” he tells you as he removes your hands from your face. “I love you so much, Y/N. I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone but you.”

“I love you more, Will,” you tell him quietly as he leans down to give your lips a gentle kiss, his thumb brushing across your warm cheeks as he pulls away and gazes down at you so lovingly. As you both are wrapped up in your little bubble in your small home, you couldn’t wait for what the future has in stored for you.

[jjk-biased]

park jimin x reader

genre: angst, lil' fluff if you squint hard enough lmfao

word count: 2k words of big sad bros

synopsis: befriending the ever-shy boy park jimin had its ups and downs but you were there for him through everything.

masterlist

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It was supposed to end on a somewhat lighter note. Laughter should’ve rang through the room by now from your remark, or at least a chuckle should’ve been heard from his lips as he denies your claim. He should’ve continued eating his pastries or at least change the topic to the song currently playing in Belle Vie.

There shouldn’t be silence. You shouldn’t hear the pitter patter of the rain outside from the cafe you’re in.

Anything but this.

You could still remember meeting his eyes. There he was, meekly hiding himself from the corner of the room to shield himself from the noise of your classmates. He was alone and it was as if he wanted it to stay that way.

You weren’t sure what was captivating about him. Was it the way his eyes told a different story? Was it how adorable he was as he avoided your stare when you approached him? Was it the small, unsure smile he returned when you looked at him?

You’d never know. But you were happy to be the first one to approach him.

“Hi! I’m Y/N.”

“O-oh… uhm… h-hello,” He trailed off, once again looking at anything but you.

You unintentionally chuckled, somehow frightening this shy boy more, and continued, “Can I ask for your name?”

“I-I’m sorry… I’m Park Jimin.”

“Say Park Jimin… interested in going to the small cafe down the street?”

That was the start of an unlikely friendship between the ever-friendly Y/N and the resident cutie Jimin.

From a few meetings to being stuck by the hip, you two sure became a great duo. But Jimin still had reservations about himself, a nobody, and you, the ever-cheerful person who’d befriend anyone. You would remember Jimin always asking you why you hung out with him. He would list reasons why you were better off without him trailing behind you like a puppy.

“Because I like being friends with you silly!”

And you could see the storm in his eyes fade away just from that remark.

“Wanna go to the Hope Dance Studio oday?”

“I’ll just watch you dance, Jimin, and you owe me tea from Belle Vie.”

You two spent most of your days together and would often bond on your love for music. You discovered a new Jimin through dancing—a Jimin who forgot his stage fright and shyness everytime a beat plays. You loved this side of Jimin. It’s who he is. A dancer, born to perform on stage, yet held back by the timid persona he always went by.

Admittedly, you were secretly glad he was confident enough to show it to you. Only you.

Aside from the dance studio, you two were more than often seen in the small cafe by the school named Belle Vie. It was a cozy cafe that hosted a few stressed students or passerbys who wanted to stop for pastries. It was where you two always hung out after every school day.

As your highschool years went by, you began to lie low from the “popular” people. The famous Y/N who befriended anyone was still friendly, but you decided it was time to stick to those who will be there for you.

That was Jimin. You stuck by him as you went through countless breakdowns, stresses, and heartbreaks.

“You should forget that dork, Y/N! He was a player from the start. If you want, we’ll go egg his house soon because he deserves that shit,” Jimin’s eye twitched as he gripped the macaron in his hand rather harshly.

The two of you were once again in Belle Vie, though this time you were down in the dumps because your asshole of a boyfriend cheated on you with one of your friends.

You snorted as you stole one of the sweet delights from his plate, “The slytherin in you jumped out.”

He preened, mockingly laughing the way rich people do, “I try my best.”

“Thank you, Jimin.”

“Anything for you."

None of your relationships seemed to work. Maybe it was because you never seemed to find any sort of connection with them. Maybe it was because they never had any sort of genuinity to commitment.

Maybe it was because they weren’t Jimin.

It dawned on you on one of those quiet days where you ponder quietly as you gaze at the ceiling. Looking back, it really was Jimin who stuck with you through it all. He made you laugh every time he did his pranks (he was never caught), he made you smile every time he danced like a dork, he made you feel at home.

Squealing lightly, you fell off the bed at your epiphany.

“Holy shit… I like my best friend.”

As soon as those words left your mouth, your eyes widened. There are a lot more negative disadvantages to liking your only best friend. What if he didn’t like you? What if he thinks you’re creepy? What if you don’t become friends anymore?

That last question haunted you more than you liked to admit.

Jimin was your anchor, the one you found solace in when times are rough. Not being with him anymore just because your feelings got in the way.

You’d rather keep it in.

So you did. You kept that little crush to yourself and told not a soul. It kind of hurts to act that way, but it was for the best.

Jimin on the other hand began to grow out of his shell. Because you encouraged him, even in his bad days, you were able to help him be more out in the open. Soon, Jimin became one of the popular kids and you were more than happy to see him in his true element.

You once introduced him to your acquaintance and captain of the dance team, Jung Hoseok. He happened to be the son of the owner of the dance studio you two often went to as well. Jimin was soon recruited.

It was as if everything felt right when he accepted Hoseok’s offer. He was more than ecstatic. You were very much just as happy as he is.

“Congrats, shorty! Treat me to Belle Vie today?”

“You can’t call me that if you’re shorter… And shouldn’t I be the one treated today?”

That was the start of his way up to the big leagues.

You were left at the bottom. Probably forgotten, left alone at square one.

You didn’t notice it immediately. Your daily trip to Belle vie turned into every other day, then it became twice a week, once a week, until there was none at all. You couldn’t blame your sweet Jimin though. He became much busier after he joined the dance team.

At the back of your mind, it was hard to admit that he became too busy for you.

It was hard, really, to ask Jimin to hang out for at least just a day and be turned down time and time again.

“Hey! Can we go to Belle Vie today?”

You already knew the answer when his face contorted into an uneasy grin, the way he averted his eyes and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“I… uhm… have practi—”

“Oh! ‘S alright, we can just go out on a later date,” you cut him off to save yourself an ounce of dignity and scurried away before he could make it more painful than it is.

The unlikely duo weren’t seen together anymore anywhere.

You still went on with your day though. You wanted to support your sweet best friend through every competition he had, every breakdown he cried for, every problem he harbored.

It was different this time, you two couldn’t deny it. From strangers to best friends, then back to strangers.

The feelings you long since had have grown into something you couldn’t ignore. Despite every embarrassing moment you experienced from being turned down, the way his smile grew bigger every time their team won had your heart swooning. This Jimin, admittedly now one of the most popular heartthrobs of your school, brought your tummy butterflies that won’t die down.

On your fifth friendship anniversary, you decided it was time you get Jimin for just a day. Heck, just an hour with him would suffice. It’s been long since you two were together and why not hang out on the day that started it all?

“Chim, let’s eat at Belle Vie today. I’m not taking no for an answer,” You huffed in faux confidence, momentarily ignoring that little voice in your head who taunted at you.

“Ah… what’s the occasion?”

Are you kidding me?!

“June 13th! It’s our friendship anniversary dummy,” You grinned hesitantly as your voice wavered.

You never thought you’d have to remind him of this date. It was the other way around! He would surprise you and treat you to Belle Vie because you two were friends!

“Alright… I’ll meet you there.”

There wasn’t as much enthusiasm in his voice as he had last year. It was now blatantly obvious he wanted nothing to do with you.

You figured it was time for your last resort, confessing to everything you’ve felt. Maybe this time… Maybe this time he’ll have a change of heart.

Rain poured down when afternoon came. The clouds were weeping at the loss of friendship. Or maybe it was long gone and you just realized it now and the clouds were sad for another reason…

The two of you were sitting in the same booth you first did, the one nearest to the window. You both ended up getting the same food you always bought. You found yourselves in the same predicament you first met— awkward, silent, and nervousness.

Everything was the same yet everything was different.

The Jimin in front of you now, for example, was strikingly different from the Jimin you met. But you were still the same ol’ Y/N he first met.

You were finally fed up with everything he had thrown your way. Every rejection he made you face, every embarrassing moment you had to endure, every ounce of pain you had to feel.

“What happened to us?” You whispered, looking at anything but this stranger in front of you.

He raised an eyebrow, “Us? What do you mean? Don’t get carried away, Y/N.”

“You were never like this to me, Jimin… You always went to me for everything… Now we don’t even t-talk,” You cried out weakly, too hurt to prevent anything from not being said.

“I’m not gonna be there at your every beck and call, Y/N! I’m not gonna be with you forever! You’re not even my girlfriend! God, how clingy can you get!?” Jimin harshly let out.

Your eyes widened as his remarks flowed into your head and repeatedly taunted you. Tears welled up in your eyes, unable to believe that this is the person you called your best friend.

“I… I can’t believe I like you,” Your face visibly cringed when you said that word. That specific word that wasn’t even enough to describe the immense love you had for this boy who had chosen to hurt you with his words.

It was out. The secret you had for so long is finally out.

Instead of anything welcoming, however, Jimin only mumbled a “what?” out of disbelief. Maybe he wasn’t hearing himself correctly.

This expression of his told you more than you needed to know. Despite the tears now flowing freely, you asked him softly.

“H-hey… Do you know what Belle Vie means?”

You were met with silence. He stared at you as you tried to salvage this piss-poor conversation.

“It means Beautiful Life… and I’m glad to have experienced that with you, Jimin…”

He didn’t say anything back, just a weak, “Goodbye.”

And there was nothing.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It was supposed to end on a somewhat lighter note. Laughter should’ve rang through the room by now from your remark, or at least a chuckle should’ve been heard from his lips as he denies your claim. He should’ve continued eating his pastries or at least change the topic to the song currently playing in Belle Vie.

There shouldn’t be silence. You shouldn’t hear the pitter patter of the rain outside from the cafe you’re in.

But it did.

Your longtime crush and now ex-friend walked out of the door, and with him left the five-year friendship you two built.

What a beautiful life, indeed.

permanent taglist: @luvinseokjinnie @97faerie @amoreguk

[coweggomelet]

volume 6 lads

from what i remember this one is similar to 4 in that it gives us a bit of an emotional break

don’t get me wrong i know there’s some stuff but i think overall it’s a little less intense

- ahhhh they’re all fighting together againnn it feels so right

- hey. hey yang and blake. i’m gonna need you to stop. cause my little heart can’t take it

- this dude really was challenged once and had a full blown murder tantrum. that’s fragility my guy

- ruby is SO CUTE look at her little happy face

- oh yeah. take a train. you guys have a great track record with trains

- i also keep getting like three versions of the same ad about getting vaccinated and it’s got all these workers from tv & movie sets and it’s so awkward this one guy looks so annoyed during his whole part

- it’s not just the turrets y’all oz is withholding shit once again

- don’t fuckin shove my boy!!

- i love that qrow immediately steps back when ruby comes forward. like he 100% respects not only her authority as a team leader but also her ability to solve situations and talk to people. he knows man. he knows his niece is something else

- MARIAAAAA MY GIRLL YES

- uh oh the train crashed. who could’ve seen that coming

- cinder really is just too angry and spite filled to die isn’t she

- hehe maria you’re funny

- it’s so funny that oz is still refusing to tell them everything knowing that everything is revealed in the next episode

- oh oz. i know he was your friend. but all these kids saw was the insane amount of harm and death he caused. trying to defend him to them is not gonna go well

- oscaarrr i love you!! you’re so good!!

- oooo chills

- uuugghh i love jinn she’s so cool

- oz. my dude. the ship has sailed. you can’t stop this anymore

- this, my friends, is what we call a lore episode

- this whole sequence gives me chills it’s so gooood

- eurgh i hate how the god of darkness moves like i get it it’s part of the aesthetic but you really don’t need to do that it’s creepy

- salem was so smart to use a super powerful sibling rivalry to get what she wanted

- she really didn’t deserve to watch the love of her live just get revived and killed over and over again

- jeez the gods are assholes. they’re all oooohh maintain balance and then they torture a woman who just wanted her husband back by making her live forever. for what??? for daring to be smart?? ugh

- c’mon gods you gotta respect the hustle

- you think that making someone immortal will make them realize the importance of life and death?? idiots

- god her face

- she’s so smart what the FUCK

- “the hearts of men are easily swayed” really reminds me of galadriel’s “the hearts of men are easily corrupted” in lotr

- a couple hundred humans attack them and the god of darkness decides “you know what? i’m gonna eliminate all of humanity. that feels like the right choice. yeah. i feel good about this.”

- the fact that salem wasn’t even like… a real villain until she tried to kill herself in order to escape her torture and suffering and the grimm juice made her Big Mad

- like it wasn’t even her, it was the grimm juice. i really do believe that without that she wouldn’t have become salem the Villain

- i’m sorry i don’t know a ‘deathly hallows’ i only know the relics

- ohhh fuck i forgot about this!!! oh rwby’s totally gonna end with the gods judging humanity when the relics are brought together. maybe not end end but it’s definitely gonna be close to the end and it’ll be a Big Thing where they strategize about how to convince the gods that humanity is good

- obviously the first maidens weren’t their kids but boy is there a theme going on here. and maybe even something plot relevant cause their kids could do magic

- all the main characters being able to witness this and us seeing their reactions is such a good touch like god, the impact of this reality is so much heavier because we get to see the characters actually affected by it react to watching it unfold before them

- ohhh my boy. you didn’t deserve this burden before but now that you know fully what it means you really don’t deserve it. i mean look at him!!!

- oh qrow!!! you are doing good! i mean i get it, your whole world’s been shattered and the man you gave your life to lied to you about a lot of important shit but you are doing good i promise!!

- fuck yeah maria use your sassy wise old lady authority

- oh god emerald you poor thing you’re just a babey— oh god i felt salem’s hand on emerald’s shoulder fuck dude this show is so effective

- truly, this is a master class in manipulation

- uh oh salem your ex is back

- UH OH ITS THE FARM RUN YALL

- i like that weiss is wearing what looks like very thin tights, a strapless dress, a lil jacket thing, and the animators said “here she’s got a scarf she’s warm now”

- ruby didn’t kill torchwood y’all, he got chomped. like a lil bitch

- oh god this episode

- yaaaayyy

- before this episode my friend went “you ready for some horror?” and was grinning

- oh yeeeaaah the corpses. lovely

- god as soon as they opened the door to where the cellar entrance is it immediately started affecting weiss

- oh the DOOR nope no thank you get the fuck OUT

- watching this show with my friend was also the origin of me being sad cause this shit is sad and her going “oh i’m having a great time” and this episode in particular she was enjoying herself WAY TOO MUCH if you ask me

- little jump scares kept getting me and she LAUGHED and said “that got you?!?” YES it DID i’m a WUSS

- oh the journals!!! the way they incorporated that was so interesting and added SUCH good creepiness and suspense without giving it all away or ramping it up too fast

- ruby’s so good i love her!!

- uuugghh it’s getting them already how haven’t they noticed???

- the eyes got me good the first time

- their weird fuckin attitudes were the creepiest part of this episode

- ruby said not my friends you bitches

- mariaaaa i love you you’re so smart

- god when they’re reading from the journal at the very end…

- neo’s so tiny!!

- talk about some girlbosses 

- MARIAAAAA YOURE SUCH A BADASS i love her backstory

- love her outfit too

- OOOO THE FUCKIN CROCODILE CLOCK LADY ooooo this is so cooooool

- the ticking!!!!

- oh maria you poor thing. but also you’re so smart like that was such a good move

- aww haha qrow’s a fan. awww he based his weapon off hers!! we love a fanboy

- “i wanted to be as good as the grimm reaper.” “well, im nothing but a disappointment, so you’re well on your way” DAMN MARIA SAVAGE

- oh nice they made to argus! NOW SHOW ME THE BABY

- “CUTE BOY OZ” me too nora

- THE BAAAABBYYYY

- and jaune’s sister and her wife!! I LOVE THEIR GAY LIL FAMILY

- yang is good with kids. marry me

- YOURE GODDAMN RIGHT THATS A BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- HUN!! god i love saph and terra

- “shut up there’s food!” heh me too ruby

- aahhh cordo

- she and maria are totally exes who had a bad breakup and now they hate each other. a tenzin/lin situation if you will

- jaune… my boy… i know you’re angry but oscar is really trying his best

- “i don’t know anything” me neither ruby

- wait cinder didn’t have her grimm arm yet so how did ruby’s ability trigger?

- uh oh my boy’s missing

- remember when you were having fun being the bad guy emerald. remember that. it’s almost like… it was only fun for you cause cinder was there

- it makes me so sad that not only did emerald actually believe that cinder cared about her, but she actually considered cinder family and her emotional health was so connected to cinder being there

- “all you ever learned was pain and violence and now you’re too afraid to leave it” tyrian excuse me i’m the one with the commentary and analysis that’s rude stay in your lane

- oh god oh fuck. the pyrrha statue is comin up isn’t it

- AH FUCK THE LEAF

- oh there she is. my love

- i still wanna know who this lady is. like she’s even the same voice actor as pyrrha. and she’s got red hair. i don’t think pyrrha ever talked about family members, but my money’s on her mom

- this moment fuckin got me dude. i was doing the full tearing up, lil sniffles, choked up thing. uuuuggghh

- god they love each other so much

- i am NOT gonna cry again

- oh qrow. you poor thing

- THE BABYYYY HI ADRIAN DO YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

- young man!! you scared us half to death! do you know what time it is??

- his lil outfit i i looovveee hiiimm

- oscarrr!! you’re so sweet!!

- THE CASSEROLE

- FUCK YEAH RUBY TELL HIM

- qrow’s like… damn. ruby’s right

- here we goooo infiltration time

- oh FUCK yeah they kill adam soon

- adrian what a smart babyyyy i love youu

- hehehehehe maria is luggage

- honestly this is such a good plan it just goes to shit cause these kids can’t catch a fuckin break

- y’all need. to stop. looking. at each other. like that.

- qrow stop being emo

- mariaaaa i love youuuu you’re such a great old lady

- uh ohhhh problems with blake

- i would love it if they used qrow’s semblance strategically. like in some sort of heist/infiltration situation, sending him behind enemy lines to fuck up their luck

- ruby’s so good at speeches

- depressed? feeling bad about yourself? feeling emo and riddled with guilt? just get a Ruby Speech(TM) and you'll be cured!

- qrow’s face

- oh yeaaaahhh big metal guy

- cordo

- hey cordo

- are you uh

- maybe takin it a lil too far

- why are so many atlas military people so fuckin intense with maintaining order and big shows of power and controlling other people???

- ADAM YOU BITCH YOURE GONNA DIE

- yeah you’re a source of trauma for her but GUESS WHAT SHE HAS A SUPPORT SYSTEM

- at this point dude it’s real pathetic how obsessed with blake you are

- thank god for auras or falling damage would be a much bigger problem

- cordo can you maybe chill

- weiss earthbended!!

- jaune you’re so smart

- ren said things may be complicated but boy oh boy do i care about that strong lightning lady

- “rightfully in charge??” shut up cordo and go be gay with maria

- noooo her fun coat!!

- oooo Dramatic waterfalls

- YES BITCH IM SO PROUD OF YOU YOUVE LEARNED SO MUCH

- adam i’ll kill you

- YEEEAHHHH WHAT AN ENTRANCE YANG MARRY MEEEE

- aaaaggghh the music holy shit

- i love how the fight scenes progress through the volumes it’s so cool

- the parallels between yang and adam are also really interesting. like their semblances, their tendency to lead with strong emotions. interesting

- ooooo he doesn’t like when they look at each other hehehehehe SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW BITCH HAHA

- HOLDING HAANDSSS THEYRE SO GAY

- he’s so basic too. like he looks like a frat boy.

- y’all do your jobs. there’s a big water boy coming but you don’t know cause you’re too busy being goddamn bootlickers

- oscar is so smart and ruby is so brave i love themmm

- uh oh cordo it’s a ruby speech watch out

- ya she is nuts

- THEYRE GONNA WIN CAUSE THEYRE IN LOVE

- ya but you’re a bitch adam and yang is fuckin amazing

- I LOVE THIS FIGHTTTT

- yeet the blake

- FUCK YEAH YANG GET HIM

- i fucking love that they killl him with the pieces of blake’s weapon. like there’s something to that. they kill him with the pieces of a thing he destroyed

- if he wasn’t dead enough he got crunched too

- I LOVE THEM

- hahahahaaaaa cordo they got you

- yeah cordo!!! argus is danger cause you were more worried about fucking “proving the might of atlas” or whatever against some teenagers you fool

- ohhhh shiiiittt cinder’s atlas outfit!! they’re going to a super cold snowy place and cinder said you know what i should wear short shorts and a sleeveless top with super tall boots and a lil cape. that’ll work. and she’s right. it does. have i mentioned i love cinder?

- uh oh big boy swims watch out

- cordo shut up this your own fuckin hubris

- god cordo’s desperation is so heartbreaking

- when are people gonna learn to trust ruby and her friends man

- their willingness to keep fighting and risk their lives and also a Ruby Speech(TM) made cordo believe in them which i love

- i love jinn she likes lil ruby and her friends

- hi summerrrr

- cordoooo i’m so proud of you. she gave up part of this insane symbol of atlas’s power to help ruby and her friends. like she put aside her own ego and i’m so proud of her

- fuck yeah!!!

- awww such a good uncle

- damnnn atlas is gorgeous

- even mercury is terrified by salem’s weird grimm shit

- the fuckin wicked witch with her flying gorillas

[jungwnn]

Hiiiii😚 i wanna request for a ship with txt, enhypen and bts, thank you soo much for taking the time to do this!☺ I hope you have a good day, stay healthy and take care for yourself🤗

INFP-T | enneagram type 4 | sun: Sagittarius, moon: Cancer | Hate studying anything except English | Competitive when it comes to things I love and am passionate about | Like creative writing and interior designing(basically architecture) | Novels over movies | Even if i watch movies its either action or angst-drama, and always like the evil characters more than the good ones because I'm able to sort of understand why they do what they do, I believe everything has a reason, and every action is a result of something | I also believe in soulmates, love at first sight and all sorts of tropes like these | Obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology and ancient Egypt and just in general medieval eras | Love taking polaroid pictures and traveling | Aesthetic all the way, love being in the nature | I love fairylights and abstract paintings and night walks and stargazing | Love sad things | I'm sensitive to smell and don't like artificial scents | I like going to libraries and museums and cathedrals and old medieval buildings, beaches also and other nature aesthetic places | Always observing little details about everything that other people fail to notice | Easily scared or startled | Have huge trust issues and very sensitive | Have very few friends and am loyal before anything | I'm moved by little things and don't really like much of fancy dates, I like it simple and my favorite would be walk along the beach at night | Am very open-minded and wise but no one's really aware of that | Like disturbing people and then giving puppy eyes | Shy at first but when you get close with me I'm very loud, talkative, playful and annoyingly funny and weird | Just realized it yesterday that i tend to 'huh' a Lot | Clingy with people I am very close to(might even jump and koala hug them tbh) | Everyone's comfort pillar | Very expressive with words and actions | CLUMSY(I hit or bump into something at least once a day) | Love eating (taking advantage of my never getting fat genes lol) but am sort of quite picky | 5'2 - 157cm and I like tall people but I have no problem connecting with people on the shorter side of the height spectrum | Baby voice and baby face | side bangs and dark brown short almost straight hair which reaches just 4cms above the shoulders | Big chocolate brown eyes | Have slightly honey tanned skin | I'm a crybaby too, like if someone I love or care a lot about is getting scolded for whatever reason or they are sad or something then I tend to cry immediately. And while watching or reading sad things too | I do random sounds or actions too and I noticed recently I go 'huh' and 'uh' all the time | sometimes I don't even understand myself like a few days back I was wearing a black sock on my left foot and a white one on my right and then i forgot that i wore mismatched socks so when I noticed it after a while I got fascinated for literally no reason then within seconds i forgot about it again and then when it came to my notice again i got fascinated again and this went on the whole day lmao | My fashion style leans towards boho chic/bohemian and casual | And prefer bare face over makeup and converse over other footwear and dusk(sunset) over dawn(sunrise) but in the album I like dawn ver more🤭 | I love spicy and sour food and have a high tolerance of spice | And my love languages are acts of service>physical touch>quality time>words of affirmation.

YOU SOUND SO INTERESTING AND COOL LETS BE FRIENDS 🙄✋

in txt i ship you with!! Beomgyu !!

pls I can already already see yall fighting over movie chararters😭 I just get the vibe y’all met in a really weird way like he was reaching over to grab a random ass toy and you were too and bam!!! Talking, numbers exchanged. He instantly fell in love with you dude. Like gyu isn’t one to simp but your the exception here. Like dude had a big smile when you responded to his text message. Will he ever tell you that he would bounce up like a puppy whenever he got even a notification hoping it was you?? No. Never. That never happened I swear. There was a time where kai texted and was like “hey soobin said practice in an hour” and gyu straight out texted back “idiot shush I’m waiting” and Kai was just like ??? “...ur weird” basically gyu is literally in love with you from the beginning like it’s insane. That doesn’t stop him from teasing you though. Dude you better stay on high alert this dude is constantly pranking you. They are all harmless but if he ever did hurt you or do something wrong. He will instantly hug you and literally apologize all day and shower you in love. Just finding comfort in each other!! Like he is always there to listen to you talk about anything and just comfort you, He also trust you enough to share his issues! He loves to call you idiot all the time but he says it in the sweetest way or just to tease. He also loves to carry you, it makes him feel super tall ( esp when moas be calling him tiny 😭) also sleepy gyu!! Clingy!!! Let’s say y’all went on a date just a quick ice cream and a walk around the park right, He would look at you and be like “your so pretty~” then you look up and be like “huh? What did you say?” And he would just pull you closer to his side and be like “nothing idiot~” in the same cheeky sweet tone. Then later on that day y’all would just to hang out on the couch cuddled up. He was obviously tired since he was yawning every five seconds. He pulled you against his chest and just started mumbling about how happy he was to have you!! But that’s for your ears only!!

Your overall relationship would consist of:

☼lots and lots screaming like dude is loud but he is expressing his love so it’s okay!

☼movie marathons!!

☼pls don’t use puppy eyes on him he’ll cry at how cute you are

☼let him kiss your forehead and your head he wants to be tall

☼he makes u meals but sometimes they burnt 😣

☼brags abt you all the time like I’m pretty sure taehyun knows your favorite food and your birthday by how much gyu talks

☼he loves listening to you talk abt your interest and fascinations !!

so for Enhypen I ship you with !! Mr.Jake sim!

I just know this boy loves you for your witts bro, like.. how can you be so smart, interesting and pretty at the same time?? Like you completely captured this boys heart!! He loves hearing you talk about Roman and Greek mythology and ancient Egypt!! He thinks it’s honestly so amazing to listen to you speak about your interest🥺 He has this thing, where like whenever you do something cute or he just looks at your face he just walks over and squishes your cheeks. He loves loves loves showing physical affection! He WANTS you to know that you are the light of his life and you make him so so happy!! He talks abt Layla to you all the time and even called you her mom like WOAH. Speaking of mom, Jake gives me the vibe he talks to his parents about you!! Like mans is so serious abt you he just adores you!! Dude is so worried about you when you bump into things, like let’s say you accidentally hit a wall. He will be by your side in a second telling you to be more careful them kissing your forehead. He calls you princess 🧍(HAVE U SEEN THAT ONE FAN CALL BYE) he also treats you like a princess as he should. I have a feeling when he can’t see you in person he calls you and y’all will fall asleep on call. like he would be all sleepy and be like “i miss you :(“ and just talk about your guys day and it would be so sweet!! I’m sure you get the idea !! He’s in L word with you hardcore!!

Your overall relationship would consist of!!

☼he always buys snacks for you because he wants his baby to eat well

☼he is a romantic he loves taking walks on the beach with u!! (And Layla)

☼always compliments your eyes !!

☼always gets you flowers or lil things that remind him of you !

☼he has you as his wallpaper!

☼if y’all go see scary movies together he will most definitely try to act tough and protect you but he fails and hides his face in your neck

☼CHEEK KISSES!!!

for bts I ship you with !! Kim taehyung himself !!

okay okay!! I feel like taehyung loves your mind, he loves hearing your side of things and just loves everything about the way you think! He truly thinks your a piece of art !! like homeboy just loves spending time with you and just talking. He is a hopeless romantic like he loves taking you out to dates that mean a lot to both of you! He takes you to art museums and beaches and takes so many pictures of you!! he has a whole folder dedicated to you!! He also loves hanging out with you and your guys friends!! He just wants everyone to know he’s with you forever and ever!! He is the kinda dude to rest his elbow on your head like deadass just to tease you. He takes you to his hometown often because like I said he wants a future with you!! Expect a lot of snacks from his mom because she adores how happy you make him and he is just!! ugh you lucky lucky girl!! He likes to travel with you, like he can be so unpredictable!! dude will sit there and go “for dinner can we get pizza? Also I got us a trip to Paris for my week off” LIKE OKAY WE GET IT YOUR RICH!! But good for you I guess🙄 also matching outfits. He’s buying you a matching beret and your gna wear for that boxy smile idc. He looked at your matching socks and instantly wanted to try and now he claims it’s the coolest shit ever like Yoongi is always like “why tf?? You bought these in pairs?” Like mind your business Yoongi. His baby does it so he wants to do it too !!🙄✋

overall relationship!!

☼kisses on the lips all the time

☼plane ride cuddles

☼ur boyfriend is your professional photographer

☼pls tell him he’s a good boyfriend he just wants to make you happy

☼always talks to you abt the future <3

☼no joke he has y’all’s kids names planned

☼fun fact.. he bought you a promise ring 😣

a/n aaa!! I hope you like it!! I’m so sorry for the wait!!

[openforjean]

her dad’s birthday

Bucky Barnes x Mexican!fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of death, a lil sad

A/n: this story is mostly for me but I hope u can enjoy it too

for the love of god pls reblog with ur thoughts

Bucky’s pov 

Y/n. 

I’ve been seeing her for a four months now. We’ve been on ten dates to dinner and eight movie dates. And I don’t plan on letting her go. 

Today is her father’s birthday, and I know this because Y/n has mentioned it a hundred times now. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I forgot her dad’s birthday? 

“What do you think I should wear?” I ask. she whips her head to me and she sizes me. “He won’t care, I promise, so don’t worry,” she says. I look down at my shirt and flatten it. Yes, I’m nervous. I’ve never met her father nor her mother, she doesn’t have much a connection with her mom but it’s different with her dad. She loves her dad, she talks about him a lot, she visits him often too. She buys him candy and balloons. It’s sweet really, she’s a great girl. 

I really scored with Y/n. I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone better than her. She’s it for me.

“You look good, okay? Don’t be nervous, he won’t test you. Just be yourself,” she says, pulling my waist to her. She kisses my cheek and smiles. “I’ll try, I just don’t wanna mess up with him. I just- I really like you and I’d hate to ruin it,” I admit. Her face falls but her hand goes to my cheek, “there is no way you’d mess anything up. You’re a gift Bucky, you are a gift to my life. The past month has been the best month of my life in...a long time, you won’t. He’ll have to like you cause I lo- I like you. I like you a lot, now let’s get going. I need to buy him some stuff,” she says. She rubs my cheek, I take that hand and I kiss her knuckles. I love her too. And it might be too early to say but that’s what I feel for her. 

We walk down the street hand in hand, it feels right. Her skin is soft and warm, she glances at me sometimes to see if I’m still staring. Which, I am mostly likely am. She’s too beautiful and captivating to look away from, and if people got to know her personally, there’d be a fight for her hand. 

We walk into the local grocery store and she immediately went straight to the flower section. I follow her and she begins to browse. “Maybe roses?” I suggest, she simply responds “nah”. 

“I got him roses last time, I’m thinking sunflowers and daises. What do you think?” She asks, picking up both bouquets. “I think you should get both?” I suggest. She gives an approving hum and takes them in her hands. 

“You can pick out a balloon as I go get a cart, okay?” She says. “Yeah. that’s okay. I’ll be at the balloon section,” I answer. Y/n walks off and I head to the balloons. 

I scan the balloons, deciding which one to get. But my eyes catch something even better, a SQUARE balloon. That’s awesome, this is my first time seeing one. Kinda freaky...anyways, I’ll get that one for him. 

“Excuse me, can I get the green squared happy birthday one filled up?” I ask, the man nods and takes the balloon from the drawer and begins to fill the balloon up. I hope her dad likes it. 

“That’s a cool balloon, Buck,” she says, pulling up next to me with the cart. “You think he’d like it?” I ask. “He’ll love it, it’s whimsical,” she responds. The employee hands me the balloon and I take it. I turn to Y/n to place it in the cart, since it has a weight at the bottom. But...I get distracted. A big smile and bright eyes take over her face, I could just feel her happiness and excitement. I place the balloon in the cart and the flowers are in there too. 

We check out and we head to the next stop. Guadalupe’s Produce, a small Mexican store that is farther down the street. I’ve been there before, they have great vegetables and wonderful fruit selection. Y/n also knows the owner.

I’m holding the balloon and the flowers as Y/n watches the cars go by. She does that, she admires people. It’s interesting. 

We get closer down the street and she sees a taco truck parked right across from the store. “Bucky, we should get tacos. Real tacos, not that Taco Bell shit,” she suggests. Of course I’m going to agree, her taste is way better than mine. 

We arrive at the store and the owner greets us. Y/n starts a conversation with her and I wander around as they speak. I take a basket and place the flowers in there, holding the balloon in my right hand. I walk down the first aisle, it’s filled with books, magazines and comics. All in Spanish. I know Spanish, fluently too. I only whip it out in certain places though. The second aisle is full of chips and candies. Sabritones, Chicharrones, Gansitos, and Paleta Payaso’s. I take three of the clown and a bag of Chicharrones. I couldn’t help but grab a box of Duvalin’s and de la Rosa’s too now. How could I not? 

I walk back near Y/n, it seems she’s almost done talking to the owner. I could hear the owner say, “come to the register” in Spanish. Y/n looks my way, her eyes fall to the basket in my hand. Y/n walks up to me with parted lips. She peeks inside the basket and spots the snacks, she looks back up at me. She takes my face in her hands and brings my lips down to hers. The kiss is like fire, passion and her lips taste like cherry cola. I could live in this moment forever.

She pulls away from my lips and she reaches for my metal hand. She holds it to her heart, “you got his favorite, Bucky”. Her eyes water but she pushes them back. She leads me to the register with her hand in mine. I place the basket on the counter and the owner, Angela, rang them up. But before she could finish, Y/n took a little bottle from next to her and places it on the counter too. I don’t recognize the candy. I hand Angela my card before Y/n could pull hers out her phonecase. Angela takes it and prints the receipt, Y/n pinches my butt.

“Do that again, Y/n,” I joke. Angela bags our snacks and flowers.

She quickly does it again as I take the bag. Y/n smirks as she dropped a ten in the tip jar.

We exit the store biting our tongues, waking across the street to the taco truck.

Once we cross, the entire mood shifts. The music got louder and voices too. People stood around conversing, children playing and families eating on benches. We get closer to the truck and the food hit my nose, it smells so good. The spices and the tacos. The sun barely hits the truck, it’s shady and windy. It’s a perfect spot.

We walk up to the truck and Y/n leans on the counter, squinting to read the menu.

“What kind of tacos do you want, Bucky?” She asks, turning back at me. “Surprise me,” I answer. Y/n smirk and turns back around. That smirk could diet her lead to a good surprise or a prank. I sit in a bench next to a family.

“¡Hola Marco! ¿Come estas? - ¡que bien! - yo qiuero dos platos de tacos con dos Jarritos, por favor,” Y/n says. I can understand what she’s saying, and she knows. So she’s not going to sabotage my tastebuds. Wait- what about her father? Is she getting him food too? Or are we eating here?

She pays the man and walks back to me, I smile. She sits next to me and I wrap my arm around her with the balloon in my hand still. I kiss her temple. “Thank you, Bucky. Thank you for coming with me to visit my dad, I appreciate it. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had,” she says, looking down at her hands. I could hear her heart race as she spoke.

She looks at me and I peck her lips. I rest my forehead on hers and look into her eyes. “Y/n, you don’t need to thank me. I rather be with you than anything else, so really... thank you. I can’t wait to meet your father, I can’t wait to meet the man who raised such a great woman,” Bucky says.

Before Y/n could respond, her name is called. Y/n jumps up and takes the food in her hand. She tilts her head to come to her and I do. I take the bag and the balloon follows. She takes my free hand and she begins to lead me up the street.

“Where does your dad live, Y/n?” I ask.

“Not far, just a few minutes away from my apartment. It’s an easy walk but a long train ride, surprisingly,” she answers.

“You took the subway to your dads house?”

“ONCE! My legs were hurting so bad and I didn’t think it’d take half an hour to get there!” She exclaims, I laugh and she pulls her hand away from mine. “Y/n, I’m kidding. You’re so precious,” I say, pulling her shoulder to mine. “We’re almost there, sorry it’s taking a bit,” she says.

“It’s okay, I’m used to walking,” I answer.

I look ahead and on the left is a cemetery, on the right is a street full of houses. Her father’s place must be on the right. I pull her hand towards the right so we can cross. She stands still as I drift. She looks deep into my eyes and I look at the cemetery. Shame and fear take over her face, her head drops to the ground. I come back closer, realizing what’s going on. I pull her close and I hug her.

Her dad is in the cemetery.

Her father is dead.

We’re visiting his grave.

She’s been visiting him at the cemetery all along.

I hug her tight and I whisper “it’s okay” in her ear. I know she feels guilty, and she shouldn’t feel guilty on this day. She should feel happy, like she was before. She pulls away, wiping her tears and I push her hands down and I wipe them. “Let’s see him, Y/n,” I say.

Y/n nods and leads me to the cemetery. We pass the gate and we walk up the stairs, she leads me to the stone. She places the food down, gently. She immediately drops down to her knees and hugs the stone. Rubbing its back, I remain standing.

“Hey papa, happy birthday. I love you and I miss you. This is Bucky, he’s my boyfriend and we have something for you,” she says. She looks back at me and I hand her the snack bag. She removes the dead roses and pulls out the sunflowers and daises, and places them in the vase next to his stone. She arranges them neatly. “We also got some snacks to eat, we got your favorite...well, Bucky got your favorite,” she says. She looks up at me, her eyes are begging for me to sit on the ground with her.

I sit.

She take the balloon from my hand and ties it around vase. “He seems to know your favourites before he even met you. Crazy, he even got you this balloon. Isn’t it cool?”

Oh man. My heart. She’s talking to the grave as if he’s alive. I think I might cry.

“You can talk to him too, Bucky. He’s friendly,” Y/n says. I nod and I scoot closer to her. “Hi Mr. Y/l/n, happy birthday. I’m honored to meet you, you have an amazing daughter...she’s been a blessing to my life. I hope you like the balloon, it’s green and a square! It’s cool, but yeah, anyways...I’m glad to be here celebrating your birthday,” I say. Y/n’s hand lays on top of mine and she leaves it there.

“We’ve been dating for five months, he makes me very happy. He’s only been good to me and so much more, he’s the guy I’ve been telling you about for so long,” Y/n says. I didn’t know she talked to her father about me.

“We also have tacos! I got him some regular tacos though, nothing too spicy. I don’t want his tongue palette to die,” she says as she takes the drinks out. Now, I’ve had these before. Jarritos. A classic Mexican drink. My favorite flavor is the same as Y/n’s; mandarin.

She passes me my plate and sets my drink next to my foot. She does the same for herself. But before she opens her box, she does this thing and it’s a great thing. She recycles. She takes all the plastics and places it in one bag, so she can recycle it all. It’s admirable.

She hands me her drink because she knows I have a bottle opener on hand. I take it and I open it for her, and mines too. She opens her box and begins to eat.

I take a bite out of my taco. Holy cow, it’s so good. The smell is one thing but the taste, wow. Bucky is in love.

“Oh dad, I forgot to tell you. I paid off my credit card, I’m proud of that. I thought I’d die in debt, but no- I paid it!”

Y/n spoke to her father as I ate, I spoke too. I told him about how Y/n caught her first fish and her first tien going on the Cyclone. Now, she’s finishing her food.

“We need to eat the candy, Bucky,” Y/n says with her mouth full of food. “I’ve been waiting to hear those words all my life Y/n,” I ramble out. I dig into the snack bag and I take out la paleta. I hand one too Y/n, and we unwrap it. They definitely do not look like the packaging and neither of us have hope they ever will.

Y/n holds hers up and says “to you papa, happy birthday”. I hold mines up too and we bite into them.

She finishes her paleta and she takes a small green bottle out from the snack bag. She takes the plastic off and she pushes it into the plastic bag. She twists the bottle and little crystals fall out into her hand, she purposely lets it fall. She licks it off?

“Y/n, what’s that?” I ask, eating my paleta.

“Lucas,” she answers, pouring more onto her bare palm.

“Ummm, sure,” I place my hand out and she licks hers off first. She pours some in my hand and it looks like sugar, I quickly lick it off.

As soon as it hit my tongue, it was too late. The saltiness and sourness hit like a train, I was not expecting that. I wipe the remaining “candy” on my jeans. I take the soda and chug it down to get rid of the taste as Y/n laughs her ass off.

The soda runs out and I put the bottle down and I wipe my mouth. “You’re lucky I love you, Jesus what was that?” I say.

Y/n’s laughing stops. I get concerned and it hit me what I just slipped out.

“James Buchanan Barnes, I’ve been waiting to hear those words all my life”.

Sorry this isn’t so good, been really down lately. Hopefully it’s decent💗 pls leave some feedback💗

[nanbaka-82]

No one asked and no one will probably read but here’s songs that remind me of some of my most beloved hypmic boyos (Yes I wrote this at five am and I was being biased) Alert this is very long and shitty don’t read if ya don’t wanna get a brain rot and I advise you not to break your mind before 2nd drb.

Bonus up top:

All Stars + Kotonohoto:

- This Is The Moment - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

CLASSIC LOVE IT KEEP GETTING DRB VIBES

- I’m Ready - AJR

THIS IS LIKE DIVISION ALL STARS VS KOTONOHOTO

Yotsutsuji:

- Three Thirty - AJR

IM NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE AT ALL but since he’s a character that we never really got to understand and analyze, or maybe the fact that he was put falsely into his comatose state pains me.

“You start thinking about the clock ticks, you get nervous, you start stressing, so how am I supposed to fit this, in three minutes, and thirty seconds?”

“Listen to my aching heart. Quick before you skip the song. We are human after all. And we. Don’t. Stay. For. Long”

Naughty Dialogue/MCD +:

- Bang - AJR 

JUST LOVE THE VIBE 

“I’m way too young to lie here forever (IchiKuko) I’m way too old to try so whatever (SamaSasa) so come hang! We’ll go out with a bang!”

- Partners in crime - ft. Ash Costello

The vibe too! Idk I really like it!

- A Bud Like You - AJR

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT FITS THEM EVEN MORE HELL YES

Naughty Busters: 

- Rope - Kulick

“I keep slipping on down but I can’t let go yet”

Pain 

- Kids In The Dark - All Time Low 

 “They left us alone, the kids in the dark, to burn out forever or light up a spark, we come together, state of the art, we’ll never surrender, so let the the world sing”

More pain but cute 

Mad Comic Dialogue:

- I’m Not Ok - Weathers 

HHHHH THIS SONG IS ONE OF MY FAVES

“IM JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE FUCKED UP LIKE EVERYONE ELSE”

- Weak - AJR 

“But I’m weak, and what’s wrong with that? Boy oh boy I love it when I fall for that” (fall for each other those Lil gay boiz)

- Broken -lovelytheband 

“I like that you’re broken broken like me, maybe that makes me a fool?” (sasa)

“I like that you’re lonely lonely like me, I could be lonely with you” (sama)

“There’s something tragic, but almost pure, think I could love you, but I’m not sure” (sama)

“It’s something wholesome, it’s something sweet, tucked in your eyes that I’d love to meet” (sasa)”

- Rose Colored Boy - Paramore 

Y e s 

- Sober Up- AJR

“Hello hello, I’m not where I’m supposed to be, I hope that you’re missing me, cuz it makes me feel young”

*Cries in SamaSasa*

“Won’t you help me sober up? Growing up had made me numb, and I wanna feel something again. Won’t you help me sober up? All the big kids say I’m drunk and I wanna feel something again. Won’t you help me feel something again... how’s it go again?”

“And I wanna feel something again. I just wanna feel something again. (My favorite color is you)”

“Can I finally feel something again?”

*Cries in SamaSasa again*

Otome (I’m so in it for her):

Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez 

Just. Her backstory. Shit. 

Fling Posse:

- TMD (Talk Me Down) - R & R 

This song just reminds me of the overall relationship between fling posse! I’d make an edit but I’m lazy and sad 

- It’s On Us - AJR

(Honestly AJR is my emotional anchor and it’s obvious)

“It’s not your fault you don’t feel safe it’s not your fault so don’t take blame (no it’s on us)”

“We can try together, make it right together, we can fight together, it’s on us, though your trust is stolen, though your heart is broken, you are never broken, it’s on us” 

“We know what we need to do we’ll be there it’s not on you”

Now da main course:

Samatoki Aohitsugi:

- Karma - AJR : 

THAT PART WHERE ITS LIKE “Where the hell is the karma?” HNGGG

- Can I Get a Witness - Sonreal :

OKAY hear me out:

“I fell in love with you cuz you made me feel, I fell in love with you cuz you kept it real, but you changed up on me, you changed your flow, and now I’ve been hating on you every where I go”

BASICALLY YEAH AND THE REST OF THE SONG TOO

- Honest - Nico Collins 

No comment... 

- Middle Finger - BOHNES 

Oh god I love this song 

“But I refuse to let you make me feel like I can’t fly, not only will I soar again, I’ll own the fucking sky” 

“Livin like a riot, setting off the sirens, fists are clenched I’m fighting, soul has been ignited, ain’t got time for dying, I’m too busy thriving, more than just surviving, heart is beating violent”

And just so much more, this song reminds of his spirit that no matter how many times it’s been broke down just won’t give up, and I love it

- Little Poor Me - Layto 

“I tried hard you know I care, I care, I care, just a little poor me, just a little poor me”

The way he protected what he loved with all his heart, Sasara and Nemu, yet, he still lost them at the end. 

Jyuto Iruma:

The Car - Nightly 

Idk why it fits him—the feel of it I guess 

Ramuda Amemura (maNy but I chose):

- Rabbit Hole - AViVA 

Gives me the feel where he drags people down with him but wants to escape 

- Hypnotized - AViVA

I DONT EVEN GOTTA FUCKIN SAY IT

“Can’t you see you’re hypnotized? Locked inside those eyes. Now don’t you go out at night, you’ll end up hypnotized”

“Look into my eyes find it so appealing look into my eyes send your body reeling, now you’re hypnotized, drag you down down down”

Gentaro Yumeno:

- The Way - Layto

Not so sure about this one—but 

“New Speak, show and tell, this will be my hardest sell, wise men, always say, sadness raps in golden plate” 

Reminds me of how he was bullied and unsocial in school, also how his care takers were elders and made him happy 

- 100 Bad Days - AJR

“A 100 days made a hundred good stories, a 100 good stories make me interesting in parties” 

NSJSBSJJSISS LISTEN IT F I T S

Dice Arisugawa:

- Disaster Party - MAGIC GIANT

FUCKIN-THIS SONG IS SO DICE STFU AND

“You’re a brave heart, but you’re broken, and an Angel, but you’re choking”

THIS REMINDS ME OF HOW DICE SILENTLY ACKNOWLEDGES GENTARO AND RAMUDA BUT DOESNT PUSH INTO THEIR BUSINESS! WHAT A GOOD BOY WE HAVE oh and

“Throw away all your money” hhhhh

- I’m Not Famous - AJR 

Reminds me oh how he could have been literal royalty but decided to say fuck it

Hifumi Izanami:

- Echo - Crusher-P

We don’t talk about why I link this to fumi 

- Oh oh and there’s this part in Parents - Yungblud, “Hi nice to meetcha! Got nothing to believe in! So tell me when my breathing, stops-“ idk it reminds me of his phobia and past 

- Make you Mine - Public The Band

HHHH HES SOFT BBY OKAY 

Doppo Kannonzaka:

- Isolate - SubUrban

“Segregated, situated, hanging on, sophisticated, liberated, nauseated, I just want my medication, individuality and blue lights give me headaches, I’m not changing for the better, I’m just changing clothes on weekends”

Need I say more?

- Come Hang Out - AJR

I personally love this one 

“Come hang out cuz you’re outta your mind, you’re working so damn hard, you forgot what you like, come hang out, don’t you leave us behind. But, I’ll be there next time”

“Come hang out cuz you’re missing your life”

“Should I go for more clicks this year? Or should I follow the click in my ear?”

I feel like this song is from everyone who cares about him which is also me—

Jyushi Aimono/Hitoya Amaguni:

- Crybaby - Melanie Martinez

ABSOLUTELY NOT SHIPPING but the part where it’s like 

“I look at you and I see myself”

Makes me cry because I remember how Hitoya lost his brother to bullying then you have Jyushi so he wants to help the little boy live his life and achieve his goals, unlike his brother, sadly

Sasara Nurude:

- My Play - AJR 

Fucking. Just watch the official vid. That’s all. It’s about parent divorce and slaps.

“When I show you my play, will you pretend you didn’t know, if I make a mistake? It’s gonna get really really really really bad, before it’s okay. But maybe you’ll forget it all, while you’re watching my play” 

- Rose Colored Boy - Paramore 

OHH BOY I WROTE A WHOLE FIC ABOUT THIS ON WATTPAD 

- Istanbul (Not Constantinople) 

FUNNY FUNNY SONG CLOWN LIKE FUNNY FUNNY 

Rei:

- Hushh - AViVA 

Fucker got one. 

“Hush Hush, keep your pretty mouth shut, hush hush, lose your inhibitions”

- This Ain’t A Scene It’s An Arms Race - Fallout boy

Like HeLL.

“Fitting you with Weapons in the form of words, and don’t really care which side wins, as long as the room keeps singing that’s just the business I’m in”

“I’m not a shoulder to cry on, I digress, I’m a leading man, and the lies I weave are so intricate, oh so intricate” 

If you read this then congratulations why the fuck did you waste your time

[trensu]

Episode 50: The One with the Greatest Family Reunion(s) of All Time

so we start the ep with nhs's truly oscar-worthy performance which results in jgy getting stabbed

And i cheer for both the performance AND the stabbing!!!

lxc has his eyes closed bc that's his coping mechanism when times get tough

lol lxc is like I TOLD YOU I WASN'T GONNA HOLD BACK IF YOU DID ONE MORE BAD THING

and jgy is like i know!! that's why i haven't done one more bad thing!!!!

everyone's faces are like sure jan

but then they look at nhs like, wait a minute...

jgy is like why are you looking at him? you're not gonna see anything! i didn't see anything all these years and i'm smarter and sneakier than all of you!!!

okay, he didn't say that last part but it was def implied

jgy: nhs, good for you. i didn't expect that you would be my downfall.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQ--uhhh, NIE HUAISANG!!

nhs hasn't broken character either! He needs to join a theater troupe or smth with those skills.

blah blah lxc and jgy are having Feelings blah blah blah lxc is conflicted blah

hm, those Feelings are becoming rather Dramatique

ugh jgy just let it go and die already

jgy: have I ever done you wrong?

UM?? how about KILLING his little brother's soulmate?

which resulted in him having to watch his little brother suffer extreme physical punishment and then grieve for years after??

PRETTY SURE THAT HURT LXC QUITE A LOT

Jgy: now you won't even give me a chance to live?

I THINK THE FUCK NOT!!!

oh we're getting some not so great special effects and jgy drags lxc to the coffin and then bleeds all over it, gross

ooooh, the Temple of Doom is starting to fall apart

lwj makes a move towards lxc but wwx grabs his arm and stops him!

bc it's dangerous to get too close and wwx is protective of his soulmate!!

jc starts the evacuation bc hello the building is crumbling and he gets everyone out except the lan bros, wwx and jgy

Jgy: stay and die with me

FUCK YOU JGY

but lxc was ready and willing to do that, so jgy shoves him back bc why the hell not

(we're gonna ignore how awkward that particular maneuver was, we already know special effects are not a priority in this show)

Jgy's like lets emotionally torment lxc some more, just for kicks, bc I'm an ASSHOLE

lwj catches his brother and he is Concerned.

Eventually our lan bros and wwx flee the temple and jgy has one last meltdown before getting crushed LIKE THE MAGGOT HE IS

Now we cut to a shot of all our crew standing outside

and we see my bratty son slowly fall to his knees with a look of UTTER SORROW AND PAIN ON HIS FACE

Bc he was BETRAYED by his nice uncle

MY POOR SON!!

we get reaction shots from wwx and the lan bros

(wwx continues to be beautiful even when sad)

oh, now lxc and nhs are having a moment sitting on the steps of the temple

lxc asks nhs if jgy really had made a move

nhs is like, you questioning me is making me doubt everything! idk idk!!

even amidst his grief he takes a moment to be completely exasperated by NHS's catchphrase lolol

now we cut to wwx sitting on a different set of stairs, carefully fiddling with his demon flute and he looks up to see jc watching him and HE SMILES

BC THAT'S HIS LITTLE BROTHER!! 

AND THEY'RE ALL STILL MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE AFTER THAT HOT MESS!!

oooh, he's unwrapping his sleeve and we get a flash of his bare forearm 

how scandalous! you're gonna give lwj vapors, wwx

We see the very last cut on his arm fade away bc finally mxy has been avenged

AND WWX SMILES AGAIN!!

cut to jc and jl watching wwx smile

bc i mean, who wouldn't be captivated by wwx's smile?

PEOPLE YOU CAN'T TRUST, THAT'S WHO

none of the sect leaders before were captivated by that smile AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!!!

oh that smile didn't stick around for long bc we hear barking!!

wwx gets this panicked wide-eyed expression that mAKES ME WANNA HIDE HIM AND PROTECT HIM FROM THE WORLD

But I also don't want to get murdered by LWJ's death glare so I'll just let him hide and protect wwx...

omg my bratty son looks SO HAPPY and shouts "fairy!!" before running towards his doggy friend

i'm not much of a dog person, tbh, but MY BRATTY SON IS SO HAPPY 

and fairy did bring a whole crew of cultivators...

too little too late, some smart spiritual dog he is, lololol

we've got lan disciples, and jiang disciples and all these people swarming around our crew, fussing over them. 

it's kind of sweet except i notice that no one's approached my bratty son 

he is, in fact, ALL ALONE with fairy and i am OFFENDED on his behalf

not that my bratty son seems to mind

he's too wrapped up in his doggy reunion to notice BUT I NOTICED SO I'LL BE OFFENDED ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US

wwx is smiling as he sees lwj and jc being fussed over by their respective disciples

so cute so CUTE, I love his smiles so much

lwj stands up and greets his uncle with a stately bow 

god he's elegant and regal af, how the hell does he do it

but his uncle's a douchebag and barely acknowledges him before turning to leave and lwj watches him go, kind of hurt, kind of surprised

ooooh, now we get a shot of jc watching wwx as he gets questioned by oyzz

Oyzz is like what happened? Are you hurt? Is everyone okay??

and we can see wwx is still smiling!! BC MY BOY IS MADE OF SUNSHINE OKAY

awwwww

jl looks up  with an ADORABLE smile on his face and tells fairy to wait outside 

HE TAKES FAIRY OUTSIDE BC HE KNOWS WWX IS AFRAID OF DOGS!!!

My bratty son is actually very sweet!!

jc starts to leave the scene (and it's only until now that he stops staring at wwx btw) and wwx watches him go 😔

cut to a shot of lwj blatantly staring at wwx as per usual

wwx looks up and meets his gaze 

they get lost in each other for a bit bc when DON'T they?

We’re at the steps of the temple again and we see nhs pick up jgy's crumpled up hat looking all contemplative

oops, nhs's fingers come away from the hat all tacky with blood, yuck

cut to my bratty son running back into the temple where all the cultivators are inspecting stuff and he asks ljy where wwx is

HE'S ASKING AFTER MY SUNSHINE BOY!

Y'know, his not-evil, not-angry uncle? 

ljy tells him that he and hanguang jun left after they brought them lil apple

lol, the idea of ljy and oyzz dragging lil apple along just to return him to wwx cracks me up

jl tells ljy to take care of fairy for him before he dashes off to find his new uncle

BUT JC STOPS HIM?? "don't chase after them"

look at jc being all Cool leaning against that tree

in his fashionable robes

with his awesome sword tucked in the crook of his elbow

jl throws one last glance at the direction wwx and lwj left, and then joins jc under the tree 

jc is like, they're long gone kid

jl: so that's it? you're letting them leave just like that??

jc: what else? invite them to stay for dinner? say thank you and then i am sorry??

lol, he's working himself up into a snit already

But also, like, MY BRATTY SON HAS A GOOD HEART, OKAY??

he just hides it under bluster bc he's sensitive and people are mean to him all the time!

HE WANTED TO CONNECT WITH WWX (AND MAYBE LWJ??) NOW THAT THIS WAS ALL OVER

AND HE WOULD'VE DONE IT IF NOT FOR JC BEING ALL HUNG UP ON HIS ISSUES STILL

not that i hold that against jc, that's a lot of emotional trauma he's gotta work through

LOL JL IS NOT GONNA LET HIMSELF BE COWED BY HIS UNCLE BC WHEN DOES HE EVER?

JL: it was exactly bc of the way you were acting that they took off! you're such a pain in the neck!!

AND THEN HE POUTS AND FALLS INTO A CROUCH WITH HIS ARMS CROSSED AND STARTS SULKING UP A STORM

I LOVE MY BRATTY SON SO MUCH

JC: IS THAT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SPEAK TO YOUR ELDERS? ARE YOU ASKING TO GET DISCIPLINED??

these two crack me up every time, i swear

but the whole corporal punishment is...problematic

jc raises his arm to smack jl and jl ducks and raises his own arm to block the blow and i'm sitting here like, yikes

but then we get a shot of jc's open palm, out of focus with a crisp backdrop of red leaves from the tree they're under

and his hand is just held there, stilled for just a moment before the fingers start to gently curl inward and the strike never happens (thank god)

jc: lets go home, jin ling. let everyone go back to the place where they belong

he walks off with jin ling springing to his feet and chasing after him a beat later

jl: was there something you wanted to say to wwx?

have i mentioned i love my bratty son? BECAUSE I DO. A LOT.

jc: no, there isn't.

jl: bullshit!

I LOVE HIM!! WHAT A MOUTHY BRAT 💜

JL: i saw it with my own eyes! you wanted to talk to wwx! but you didn't say a word just now or back in the temple!

jc: there is nothing to say

jl: bullshit! you had something to say!

while this entire exchange is happening we see jc marching ahead, not looking at jl at all, but jl is walking backwards eyes pinned to his face the entire time

bc my son might be a brat but he's also pretty observant and he KNOWS his uncle 

AND NOW WE GET A FLASHBACK

WE GET A BIG REVEAL

we're back at “the ones where we gross sob FOREVER”

and wwx is telling jc to stay put at the inn while he goes to get food and meds

his voice all weak and tremulous

but jc steps out of the inn for a moment after wwx leaves

AND SEES THAT THE WEN FLUNKIES CAUGHT SIGHT OF HIS BROTHER!!

they were like three feet away from grabbing his big brother

and he says internally, "take care. i'm leaving jyl in your hands"

AND I'M CRYING BC THEY'RE PLAYING THAT MUSIC

THAT SWEET TENDER MUSIC THEY PLAY WHENEVER JYL AND HER BROTHERS HAVE A MOMENT

Jc goes and causes a distraction and lets himself be caught by the wens

SO THAT HIS BIG BROTHER AND BIG SISTER COULD STAY SAFE

I'M CRYING I'M CRYING

MY YUNMENG SIBS, MY POOR YUNMENG SIBS!! 

WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SUFFER SO?? 

WHY WERE THEY SO DAMN SELF-SACRIFICING??? 

WHY THE HELL COULDN'T THEY LEARN TO COMMUNICATE BETTER???

cut back to the present, and jc's eyes are welled up with tears 

he has a hurt little smile on his face, he says, "take care"

softly, mostly to himself

after a moment, he turns to jin ling and says "lets go"

and we watch them leave

I just want them all to be a BIG HAPPY FAMILY DAMN IT

cut to the next scene, we hear ~THEIR SONG~ start playing in the background all slow and soft

i love the overhead shot we get of them surrounded by the gorgeous foliage, it's so peaceful

As wwx and lwj walk slowly and at ease with lil apple between them 

AND MY HEART FEELS SO TENDER AND FULL OMG

lwj: wei ying

he says it all seriously. wwx looks at him and he's got A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE 

bc he's looking at his soulmate!!!

who wouldn't smile when looking at their soulmate???

he's cheerfully twirling his flute bc finally all is right in the world! 

the mystery is solved, his loved ones are safe

and he's traveling with lwj and lil apple

nothing could be better!

wwx: whats up?

lwj is pointedly not looking at him

lwj: there is something that I…

and here he stops in his tracks, and wwx stops with him

lwj: i didn't tell you.

wwx gets all playful and leans on lil apple, and waggles his demon flute and lwj

wwx: what is it?

Look at that mischievous grin!!

he's all prepared to tease the heck out of lwj for whatever he's about to say LOL

but they're interrupted!!

wen ning and lan sizhui are running after them and wwx notices

LOLOL

His face scrunches up and he mutters under his breath like, damn it! every time!! these two are fast! 

wwx: sizhui, why are you following us? aren't you afraid of old master lan calling you out?

MY SUNSHINE BOY IS SMILING SO MUCH THIS EPISODE, I'M SO HAPPY!!!

lsz: i have something important to ask you!

he's all out of breath!

wwx turns to look at lwj eyes wide and curious before going back to lsz

wwx: what is it?

lsz goes on to explain how he's been remembering things but he's unsure of stuff so he wanted to ask them about it

wwx looks confused and glances at lwj 

lwj just looks back at him briefly before his eyes flick down

wwx: what is it that you want to know?

lsz looks down and, like, gathers up the strength needed for this next line of questioning. 

with the sweetest smile, and the softest eyes he starts listing stuff

like how he knew a cocky chef who was actually a terrible cook

(wwx laughs confusedly at this)

and how that man planted him in a field and told him he'd grow faster with some watering and sunlight

AND WE GET A FLASHBACK OF LITTLE A-YUAN PLOPPED IN THE DIRT GETTING BURIED BY WWX

he goes on to say how that man would play with him 

and how he had invited hunguang jun for a meal and then didn't pick up the tab so hanguang jun had to pay

There we get a flashback to their meal at the yiling wine house!

we cut back to the present and WWX'S FACE IS STUNNED, EYES WELLING UP WITH TEARS, AND LSZ IS GETTING CHOKED UP AS HE TELLS HIM THINGS

AND WWX'S BREATHING GETS SHAKY 

BC LSZ TELLS HIM HIS SURNAME IS WEN

wwx blinks rapidly, not believing what he's hearing

wwx: wen was your surname? isn't lan your surname?

wwx: lan sizhui, lan yuan.. A-yuan?

AND OH GOD HIS FACE, HIS FACE

His eyebrows are furrowed

His eyes are full of tears!

he's looking at lsz like this has to be a dream bc it's too good to be true

Lsz nods jerkily

AND I'M TRYING TO HOLD BACK TEARS

HOW THE HELL IS LWJ WATCHING THIS ALL GO DOWN WITHOUT CRYING??

he's watching his son so intently

he's seeing his two most precious people reunite

and there are no tears??

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

HE'S VERY OBVIOUSLY MOVED BY THIS BUT NOT CRYING

MEANWHILE MY FACE IS A FREAKING RIVER OF EMOTION

lsz: i...i am a-yuan

and his voice all cracked with feeling

wwx huffs and is still shaky

wwx: didn't a-yuan pass away already?

he's thought his kid was dead this whole time

MY HEART, MY HEART

lwj had been staring at lsz this whole time but when he hears wwx say that, his gaze drops to the ground 

HE FEELS ASHAMED (AS HE SHOULD BE!!) BC HE DIDN'T TELL WWX SOONER

wwx turns to lwj, hope and tentative joy in his voice

wwx: lan zhan, was it you?

lwj meets his gaze and says yes, his voice steady and firm

lwj: this was the thing i haven't told you about

Yeah, i know, i’ve been YELLING AT YOU ABOUT IT THIS WHOLE TIME

and wwx looks back at lsz, breath choppy and lsz flings himself into wwx's arms!!!

I AM SOBBING

lsz: i really missed you, i really missed you

THEY'RE BOTH CRYING AND CLINGING TO EACH OTHER SO HARD

OH GOD I NEED TISSUES

wwx laughs and sniffles

wwx: silly boy, why are you crying?

AS IF YOUR FACE ISN'T STREAMING WITH TEARS, WWX

lsz pulls back and scrubs his face in his sleeve

lsx: i wasn't crying. i was just feeling really sad and yet thrilled at the same time

YOU TWO STOP DENYING YOUR TEARS

IF I HAVE TO SIT IN A PUDDLE OF MY TEARS THEN YOU HAVE TO OWN UP TO YOUR OWN TEARS, YOU HEAR ME??

lsz: i couldn't put it into words

lwj: then don't

pffft, ofc lwj would be the one advocating for LESS WORDS lololol

wwx laughs at that

wwx: that's right. no need to say anything

then he starts his theatrics, bc he wouldn't be wwx without his theatrics

he leans on lil apple and rubs his own shoulder

wwx: damn, you little ones are strong, you are indeed a student of hanguang jun

he looks at lwj and points his demon flute at him

HE'S SO HAPPY

lwj: he is a student of yours as well

omg lwj delivers this line so sincerely

like, there was barely a pause between what wwx and what lwj responded with

he's so freaking earnest

LOL wwx straightens up at that and reaches for lsz

wwx: no wonder he is such a handsome boy!

Wwx, you are SHAMELESS

He giggles as he pats lsz’s face, it’s freaking adorable

lsz: master wei didn't teach me anything!

wow lsz, you've had your other dad back for all of five minutes and you're already sassing him?

he truly is wwx's son lol

wwx: i did! it was bc you were so little and you forgot

You’re sounding a bit defensive there, wwx...

lsz: yes, i seem to recall. i remember now

wwx immediately starts preening

wwx: you see. i've mentored him!

lsz: for example, switching the portrait of a beauty into--

wwx slams his hand over lsz's mouth, HIS FACE IS A PICTURE OF PANIC

LOLOLOL

lwj's eyes have widened slightly and developed an edge of Judgement 

wn peeks at lwj out of the corner of his eyes like he's trying to gauge his reaction or smth lolol

wwx laughs awkwardly and takes his hand off lsz's mouth to shake a finger at him, wearing a tight smile on his face

lsz: and when a pretty lady passes by--

wwx: NONSENSE!!!

LOL I'M  D Y I N G

wwx shouts this at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS to drown out lsz

he whirls on him pointing an accusatory finger and marches towards him as lsz scrambles back

wwx: nonsense! how come you're remembering these kinds of things? how could i teach little kids these things?

LOL HE'S TALKING SO FAST

lsz: you did! wen ning can testify!

wow, way to throw your uncle under the bus, lsz

kids these days have no filial piety!

wwx: there's nothing for wen ning to testify!

OMG WN AND LWJ IN THE BACKGROUND 🤣🤣🤣

as soon as lsz draws attention to him, wn looks at lsz like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

and lwj side-eyes wen ning SO HARD, like what the hell did you let wwx teach my son?

wwx: stop talking nonsense! i am telling you, little boy. lan zhan, what did you teach him?

AND WE GET THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SHOT OF LWJ HERE

as soon as wwx turns to him with his wild accusations, lwj gets this delightfully crooked smile on his face 

and he looks down as if there's TOO MUCH JOY IN HIS HEART that he can't bear to watch for long

GOD THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE. 

and this marks, what, THE THIRD? the third time lwj smiles in public, all OUT IN THE OPEN?

I'M DYING, I'M DYING

wwx: when a-yuan was little and with me, he was a good boy!

lsz: it's the truth!

wwx: nonsense!

wwx: do you see that pit? no matter how big you've become, i will still plant you into that pit. understand?

lsz has a big grin on his face

wwx: what are you laughing at? you dumb boy!

AND THEN LSZ DROPS TO THE GROUND AND HUGS WWX'S LEG LIKE HE USED TO WHEN HE WAS A TODDLER

AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL IN THE WORLD

wwx laughs to himself and lwj still has a small smile playing across his lips as he watches his son

wwx: a-yuan, you are too old for this

AS IF HE'S NOT LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT

wwx: do you remember, you used to grab hanguang jun's leg when you were little, just like this?

so many wonderful flashbacks of little a-yuan clinging to his parents’ legs!!

oh god, oh god, my heart, my heart is going to explode from all the tender feelings!! Look at their faces

wwx's mouth slowly curls into a smile before it grows INTO A FLASH OF HIS SQUINTY-EYED SMILE

you know the one!

the one that stretches SO BIG WITH HAPPINESS IT LIGHTS UP THE WHOLE WORLD?? YEAH, THAT ONE

and then we cut to lwj's face

he has the softest expression on his face

he's got this gentle, tiny smile, the slightest of curves at the corners of his mouth

and in his eyes are SO FULL OF LOVE AND WARMTH as he watches his soulmate smile at him with their son clinging to his soulmate's leg

AND I MUST'VE DIED AND GONE TO THE GOOD PLACE BC THIS IS JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE REAL

now we cut to a different scene, lwj and lsz are in the background have some sort of father-son chat, while wwx and wn chill in the foreground

here we find out that wn and lsz plan to go back to qishan to build some sort of memorial to their loved ones

wwx: i'll come with you

wn: that won't be necessary

wwx: you don't want me to tag along?

aw, my sunshine boy looks kinda hurt 😔

but wn assures him that that's not the case. it's just that wwx has already done more than enough for them and it's time for wen ning to go out on his own

wwx gets all teary-eyed again and pats him on the shoulder, and agrees that that's for the best

lsz and wn split off, and wwx waves his demon flute cheerfully at them, lwj at his side

wwx turns to lwj with a smile

wwx: lan zhan, lets go! 

he says happily, with confidence, then he taps chenqing on his head a couple of times

wwx: where should we go?

he grins, pulling lil apple along with him, so cheerfully!

wwx: let's get going, lil apple!

but lwj isn't turning with him

he's still in that spot, his back towards wwx who already was forging onto his next adventure

AND MY HEART IS BREAKING

BC WHY HASN'T HE TURNED TO FOLLOW WWX???

wwx slows to a stop as he notices the absence of white robes at his side AND ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING AGAIN

he turns back slowly to look back at lwj, confused

there is too much distance between them!!

TOO MUCH!

multiple yards of distance where there should be NONE!

THERE SHOULD BE NONE DISTANCE!!!!!!

WHY ISN'T THERE NONE DISTANCE??!?!

lwj is still facing away from wwx, he's still rooted to the spot and his face has gone blank

wwx: lan zhan, you...aren't you coming with me?

HE SOUNDS SO CONFUSED, SO TIMID

HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING

and there's a too long pause during which wwx's eyes are desperately pinned to lwj's back

finally, FINALLY, lwj turns ever so slowly to face wwx

wwx is staring at him and lwj can only meet his eyes briefly before they slowly turn downwards

wwx gets this tiny hurt smile on his face and nods as his eyes well with tears again but this time THEY ARE NOT HAPPY TEARS

these are "i knew this was too good to be true" tears

these are "of course i can't keep good, pure lan zhan at my side" tears

these are "this is exactly what i deserve" tears

lwj looks up again, and wwx gives him a nod and a smile bc he doesn't want lwj to feel guilty for leaving him

LEAVING HIM

HE'S LEAVING HIM AGAIN 

WHY 

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

the camera pulls out, really emphasizing the distance and the sudden quiet that falls between them is severely lacking any words of explanation

AND I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY BC WTF WHY

we cut to a truly impressive shot of the cloud recesses, followed by a cut to a waterfall 

I’m pretty sure it's the same waterfall from when they were kids and had that sword fight

and we hear the opening notes of ~Their Song~ played on the flute 

wwx walks into view on the shore of the pond the waterfall goes into, with his flute at his lips

in the background we see that lwj is at the opposite shore closer to the waterfall, sitting cross-legged with his guqin in his lap

AND THEN THEY GIVE US VOCALS

bc watching them play ~THEIR SONG~ TOGETHER BUT AT A DISTANCE WASN'T PAINFUL ENOUGH

and jfc the shots of the waterfalls in this area are freaking gorgeous

now we see them standing together on the same boulder over a smaller waterfall 

bc our boys have an aesthetic 

that aesthetic is moonlight and waterfalls, and they're sticking to it

wwx: lan zhan, tbh, it surprised me that you would take over the role of his excellency

lwj: we made a vow here

and we get a flashback to the lantern scene and hear those vows they made as kids

Back in the present, wwx smiles, and knocks back the jar of wine that he has with him bc the mystery has been solved BUT HIS ALCOHOLISM HASN'T!

and i'm sitting here SCREAMING INTERNALLY, FUCK THOSE VOWS. 

YOU'VE GOT NEW, BETTER VOWS, WHICH ARE NEVER EVER LEAVE EACH OTHER'S SIDES EVER AGAIN, DAMN IT

wwx turns to face lwj

wwx: lan zhan, you truly deserve your title, hanguang jun

and lwj turns to look back at him

lwj: and you too, wei ying

we are BLESSED with wwx's wide, squinty-eyed smile

and lwj graces us with his soft, small, secret smile

they stare at each other for a moment before turning back to gaze off into the distance

the camera pulls back to gift us with the gorgeous scenery that surrounds them

now we cut to them walking down the steps towards that big rock full of ridiculous gusulan rules

nhs is there! with his fan!

nhs: this is unexpected. cloud recesses has added another thousand rules.

wwx: nhs, no matter how many rules are added, there is one that matters most. do you know what it is?

nhs looks so at ease here

this entire time since we got back to the present to watch wwx solve this mystery, nhs was nervous, twitchy and flaky in every scene

but here, he stands straight and serene with a confidence we have not yet seen on him til now

nhs: i have no clue

he says this and it doesn't sound anything like his usual anxious, dopey, "idk idk i really don't know"

nhs: please advise, wwx.

and wwx strides up until he's right next to nhs, shoulder to shoulder, tho they're facing opposite directions

wwx: that would be...

he leans down, and lowers his voice

wwx: "thou shall not befriend the devil"

there has been a distinct lack of background noise or music since this scene started

but the minute those words leave wwx's mouth, we get ominous music. 

nhs keeps his harmless act as he meets wwx's eyes and they share a laugh 

(a laugh of acknowledgement, of recognition of each other's skills)

nhs: wwx, you have the nerve 

wwx: no i wouldn't dare. i'm no match for you.

the words they're exchanging SOUND carefree and easy on the surface, but they definitely carry some underlying tension

nhs notices lwj watching them and bows respectfully

nhs: your excellency

he turns to leave, fan open against his chest

wwx: clan leader nie, i have one question that i would love to get your opinion on.

nhs: go on

wwx: you have put in so much effort and energy, don't you want to be the Excellency?

wwx is gauging nhs's threat level to lwj

bc with the skills nhs has developed and the cover he has, it really wouldn't be all that difficult for him to depose lwj if he wanted, you know?

but nhs has never been the ambitious sort

he was perfectly content with his art, and his fans, and his porn, and being second young master, nothing more (UNTIL FUCKING JGY RUINED IT ALL)

nhs: wwx, it was once said that we can never get tired of these scenes; earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea

nhs: as for me, i am a sensible man. if i have to, i always do it myself.

nhs: but for the things that aren't my business, i won't meddle in

and i'm not sure if there's something i'm missing, some layer of context or whatever, 

but what i get from this is that nhs is saying everything has its place and he has no desire to go outside of his own place in the world

if the situation calls for it, he will intervene but ONLY if there's no one else willing or able to step in

really, this is just his poetic way of saying, i have no interest in hurting hanguang jun or stealing his power

lwj walks up to join wwx as the two of them watch nhs leave

lwj: aren't you going to ask him?

wwx: ask him what?

wwx: who let mxy out? who released the blade spirit? who found sisi and bicao? and who wrote that anonymous letter?

and he gets this unconcerned expression on his face

with a little pout he just goes on to say that these questions don't matter anymore

and he walks off, twirling his flute

we cut to the next scene and our boys are standing face to face on a grassy hilltop. wwx points behind lwj

Brief aside to say, i love the robes lwj wears here, they’re very very pretty. White and pale blue, they look very airy and light

wwx: i will head that way

and lwj points with bichen behind wwx

lwj: i will head this way

AND THEN THEY JUST STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A BIT

BC THEY DON'T REALLY WANNA SAY GOODBYE, DO THEY?

lwj: have you decided where you are going to go?

wwx shakes his head and tilts his chin up

wwx: it's a big world that we live in. i will wander with my fine wine and a ride, and make it my home

*cries softly* but you have a home, LWJ is your home, why are you leaving

lwj lowers his gaze

probs bc he is thinking the same thing i was

let lwj be your home, wwx

wwx: lan zhan, i will get going

and lwj gives him one single, barely there nod of the head

bc he doesn't want wwx to go!!!

but he doesn't want to hold him back either...

wwx walks past him with a smile, dragging lil apple along with him and cheerfully he says:

"as long as the sea is bound to wash up on the sand and stars are above you, we will meet again."

and lwj just watches him leave before steeling himself to turn and walk off to his wwx-less future 

but as he walks, he hears wwx playing their song on his flute so he pauses to turn back slightly

and we hear wwx’s voice over, "lan zhan, next time we see each other, you better have a name for this song."

as lwj continues walking, we hear his voice over, "way ahead of you."

and he seems slightly less sad at their parting.

AND NOW WE'RE GETTING THE FUCKING VOCALS AGAIN BC THE SHOW JUST LOVES TEARING OUR HEARTS OUT OF OUR CHEST

we get a gorgeous shot of a green cliff side and of course the cliffside has a couple of pretty waterfalls

wwx standing alone, playing on his flute, and the camera is lovingly caressing all of wwx's best features

we get a beautiful close up of wwx's lips resting over the mouthpiece of his flute, aND I THANK EVERY DEITY IN EXISTENCE FOR IT

and it's not immediately apparent bc wwx always wears dark form fitting robes

but the robes he's wearing in this scene are DEFINITELY DIFFERENT from the ones he was wearing when he and lwj parted ways

MEANING SOME TIME HAS PASSED

we have no way of knowing how much time

COULD BE AN HOUR! COULD BE A DAY! COULD BE A COUPLE OF YEARS!!

WE JUST DON'T KNOW

but time has passed

wwx is playing ~Their Song~ alone on that hill, the vocals are like honey to the ears and they crescendo to give us an overwhelming swell of emotion

the music peeters off until it's just wwx's flute reaching the last notes of ~Their Song~

as he is finishing we hear lwj's voice

"Wei Ying."

wwx freezes, like he's wondering if he imagined that voice

the music is completely gone, everything is utterly silent and wwx's face is completely open as he lowers his flute

a smile starts to curl at his mouth, small and tentative and as he turns around, ~Their Song~ crescendos into existence again

and wwx's smile grows incredulous and relieved and SO FULL OF LOVE AND JOY

I DIE, I DIE!

MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE BOY

and we fade to black

bc that's where it ends

That's it

THAT'S ALL THERE IS, WE MADE IT TO THE END!

IT'S OVER, THERE'S NO MORE. MY LIFE NO LONGER HAS MEANING. OMG I JUST BURST INTO TEARS. WHY IS THIS AFFECTING ME SO MUCH

I KNEW THIS WAS COMING. I'VE SEEN THIS THREE OTHER TIMES ALREADY!! OH GOD OH GOD, I MISS WWX'S FACE ALREADY. GIVE ME BACK MY SUNSHINE BOY, LET ME KEEP HIM FOREVER *SOBS*

Hang on, hang on, just give me a minute. *deep breath* Okay, i’m good, i’m good now. 

This show is just...it’s so beautiful in every way except CGI lol and it evokes so many visceral feelings. It’s passionate, is what it is. And not in the sexual way “passionate” has been forced to become. This show is passionate the way passion is supposed to mean: piercing anguish, burning anger, utter devotion...just overwhelming feeling

But most importantly, the passion in this show is intense love:

Platonic love; see how much our main cast gave up to aid their friends and dependents

Familial love; look at the lengths those brothers and sisters went for each other

Romantic love; watch how these two soulmates returned to each other again and again regardless of all the obstacles between them

I honestly can’t think of another show that’s done this so well. I am just so grateful to have been able to watch this show, to have gotten to know these characters even tho it’s raised my standards for future shows to ridiculously high levels

So that’s it! We’ve reached the end of the guide! Now we can go back and re-visit our favorite scenes whenever we want!

Return to Masterpost

[gray-is-neutral]

Supernatural

a fan fiction pt.4

Cas’ POV

Feelings are odd. It’s funny how a few little chemicals can effect your whole way of thinking. There is still so much I don’t understand about humans, but I’m pretty sure they don’t understand it themselves. Humans can’t choose what they feel, and even though they know this, they get mad at the other fir feeling the way they do? Why can’t these things be rational?

But there is no rationality for how I feel for Dean Winchester. It’s self destructive, addictive, and insane. It caused me so much grief, but I don’t want not to feel this way for him.

We all have our additions. Alcohol, drugs, sex, demon blood, but my poison gives the best high. It’s soul crushing and I love it. Being in love with Dean Winchester is literal hell, but it’s paradise too. How does one explain that? Most days, I would gladly punch him right in the nose, but that thought makes me sad.

Looking at him now, the Empty didn’t matter. It was horrible. I was in pain, and I just wanted to stop existing. He looked at me, and like every time, my heart melted.

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked. He wants to talk about the confession. I was so happy I told him, but that was when I was just going to die right after! I didn’t need to deal with the possibility of rejection. Why does this feel so bad? What the...fuck? Yes fuck! What the fuck is this? Why? Why are emotions so hard?

Now I’m worried what Dean feels for me. I mean, he went to the Empty to save me, and then, “Then I’ll stay with you.” Did he mean it? Was he just trying to motivate me? Would he have stayed in the Empty with me? Forever?

He didn’t even tell Sam, however. I was the one to tell him, and I’m regretting that I did.

“You’re in love with Dean?” he asked surprised. “I admitted that I did. I thought he would have told you?” I said. “Dude. It’s Dean. He would rather get on a plane and sky dive into a volcano than talk about feelings. No chic flic moments, remember?” Sam had said and smiled. “Yeah, I remember,” I told him.

“If you ever think about sacrificing your self for me or anyone else, I will drag your ass back from the dead to kill you myself,” Dean said. I looked at him. He looked relatively normal, but his eyes told a whole other story. Deans eyes always have what he calls “Chick flic” moments. He won’t say a word, but his eyes would scream what he’s feeling.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said, feeling myself relax. Sam was right. “Dean won’t be able to just come out and talk about his feelings. He just...can’t,” he had said. Dean’s experience in love has been Hell. The lack of live from his parents. Loosing Lisa and Ben, and being forced to be responsible for his younger brother like a parent would, Dean’s....love map? Yes, that is what it’s called. His love map isn’t right. He’s still learning, and how can someone love another person, if they don’t love themselves first?

“We’re back with pie!” Jack yelled as they entered the bunker. It was hard to believe that he was God now. I looked at the child I helped raise. Dean regrets everything he’s done and said about him. He loves Jack, and I know he wishes he could take it all back. Maybe we can all start to actually heal now? No more big evils. Just family, and time.

“Hell yeah!” Dean said. “Uno?” Sam said, walking in. “Really?” “Well you two were taking forever,” said Dean. “What were we supposed to do? Braid each other’s hair?” Dean said, digging in the grocery bags for the pie. “I also have liquor!” said Jack, a little too proud of himself. “I can drink even though I’m God, right?” he asked.

“I guess we couldn’t stop you?” Sam said. I smiled despite myself. I missed this most of all. I was never letting this go again. It was too perfect. “We got the movies! They’re scary movies!” Jack anounces as he finds himself a place on the couch. “Hurry or I’ll start it without you guys!” he called. “I’m making popcorn! Wait!” Sam called.

Dean was getting a piece of pie, as I was looking for ice. “Hey I know angels don’t normally eat, he said, taking a huge bite of the piece he cut for himself. “But do you want a piece? It’s pretty good,” he said. “No I’m good,” I said. “Good, I didn’t want to share,” he said. He had pie all over his face. I held a straight face, and then imagined us like a scene in a movie. He would ask if I wanted any and I would kiss him, and say something teasing. Like, “You had enough on your mouth.” But then I thought that would be disgusting.

He walked out of the kitchen to claim his seat of the couch as Jack got up to get something. Probably candy.

“Dude he is definitely in love with you,” said Sam, joking. “He just doesn’t offer pie,” he said. “Your not funny. Leave it alone Sam. “I thought you two were together now?” Jack asked.

I honestly would have rather been with the Empty. No amount of torture could compare to this. I am getting better with expressions, I think.

“Stop that,” I said. “Can’t we just enjoy a movie?” I said, as Sam grabbed a six pack of some kind of beer. “Yeah, sure,” said Sam. “Opposite sides of the couch!” Sam yelled as Jack laughed. He wasn’t sure why he was laughing, just that it was supposed to be funny.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the living room. “What are we watching?” I asked. “Some horror movie,” he said. “Y’know, you aren’t obligated to hang out with us. You did just come from the Empty. If this is too much for you-“ “No,” I said. “I was isolated. I don’t wanna be alone,” I said.

He cleared his throat as his brother sat on the other side of him. “I got this!” Jack said, making the movie play with his mind. The kid is literally God, but he is so amazed that he has powers, isn’t that...sweet? Jack may be God, but he’s still Jack.

The movie played and Jack soon realized he didn’t like horror movies. “It’s a ghost! Salt! Why won’t they get salt?” By the third movie, Sam had fallen asleep and Jack was deep into the movie. I didn’t really care for it, but I was happy just to have this. This is normality. Movies, junk food, our family. It was perfect.

I noticed a sudden solid warmth on my shoulder. Dean had fallen asleep. How many sleepless nights had he gone through? He’s never fallen asleep like this. Not this vulnerable.

I smiled. Never mind, now it is perfect. I relaxed into this normalcy. I don’t sleep, but I closed my eyes to let myself take in the peace.

Suddenly, the Tv went to static. “Is your party super boring?” a commercial voice said over the tv. The people that looked like children look-alikes of us agreed, upset. “No problem! Just invite your good friend! Gabriel!”

“Heya boys, miss me?” Gabriel asked.

...

“How are you-?” Dean started. “Me? I’m good,” he said. “Castiel!” he said. “This is an exciting day for us, isn’t it?” “Gabriel, how did you?” I started. “Get pass the warding? Oh I just hitched a ride on that lil’ CD, now let me help you boys out.”

Suddenly, we were in a club setting. The place was empty. “You guys don’t have many friends, no surprise, but uhh how’s about some entertainment?” he said. Exotic dancers, male and female, appeared. “Gabriel!” Sam yelled, having had enough.

“Oh!” he lightly tapped his head as though he had forgotten something. “Sorry Sammy, is this more your speed?” We heard a confused scream. Eileen appeared from no where. “Sam!” she called upon seeing him. “Oh wait! Sorry you two broke up right? How’s this?”

A woman in a doctor’s uniform appeared. “What the fuck?” she said turning around quickly. “Where the hell am I? What just happened?” she said. “Enough!” Jack said. We were suddenly back in the bunker, but so were Eileen and the woman.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jack God sir,” Gabriel said, innocently. “I just wanted to express my gratitude,” he said. “For?” Sam asked. “Why? You saved me!” Gabriel said, dramatically draping himself across Sam. “If you hadn’t woken me up, I would have never escaped the Empty!”

“What?” Dean said, shaking the glitter from his hair. “My new bestie, Sammy boy here, threw those fireworks right by my head. I woke up and high tailed it out of there,” he said. “Did anyone else escape?” Jack asked. “A few low-level demons. Some low level angels. Crowley, Michael, Luci-“ he said.

I could have cried. Never, we can’t just have one normal night can we? “Don’t worry,” said Jack, taking Gabriel by the shoulder. “You guys help them, I’ll handle things really quickly,” he said and just like that, he was gone.

“Jordan!” Dean exclaimed, going to her side. So this is Dr. Jordan Blake. “What in bloody Hell is going on around here?” she demanded. I looked at Sam who was trying to talk to Eileen, it was in sign language, so I didn’t understand.

“I was in New York, and I’m where now?” Dr. Blake asked, trying to make sense of it all. “Look,” Dean said, gently embracing her. “If you stay for just a minute, we can talk and I will explain everything,” Dean said. She nodded and he cupped her face.

Eileen just wanted to leave. Sam offered to drive her home, but she said no. It was hard to tell how they felt about the other. Sam seemed to want to be with her, but Eileen seemed to want to forget recent events. I didn’t blame her because I understand wanting to forget. She felt used and forced. Now sh egg doesn’t know how she feels or felt. She doesn’t know if it was real. But did forgetting what happened also mean forgetting Sam?

Jack soon returned and took Eileen home. “Call me?” Sam asked. “Maybe,” she said quitely. Then she was gone.

I looked at the doctor, but soon noticed his young shr was. A little younger than Sam. I felt a pang of jealousy. He was so soft with her, but then I thought about the way he looked. It wasn’t how he looked at Lisa. It was how he looked at Jo or Sam.

He saw her like a sister, and for a second I was jealous of her. This is pathetic.

Dean gave her the her the speech. “Angels?” she huffed. “Of course it’s angels,” she laughed. “If I hear another thing about angels tonight,” she said.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked her. She rose her shirt to show the same tattoo that Sam and Dean had. “You’re a hunter,” said Sam.

This was going to be a long night.

[yikes-xander]

000:00:00:00

PLAYLIST ANALYSIS

This is actually me just rambling about my thoughts on each song and why I chose them for this specific playlist rather than like.. an actually good and smart sounding in-depth analysis sorry :/

When I Met You - Ethan Nestor

There are many reasons I chose this one! Mostly the lyrics, but Ethan also sings it so it’s extra fitting for the playlist, especially as the opener.

“When I met you my life was blue, I was so lonely / You took me by surprise” The channel came into my life at the perfect time. I was feeling low, in my last year of high school, struggling with thoughts about the future. It especially helped me through quarantine. Every day I felt like quitting, giving up on putting effort into school/not graduating, but I had something to look forward to every day too, so I pushed through.

“Now you're gone from my life / I'm adrift on the sea” Once the stream ended and the channel was gone, I didn’t know how I felt. I felt sad, but also something I’ve never felt before. After watching Ethan’s video yesterday, hearing him explain he felt the same way, I felt so relieved. I think this lyric kind of describes how I feel now honestly, just kinda numb? Like I’m lost. I’m working on it.

Another Night - Story Untold

More of a light-hearted one now! To me, this song made me think about how good it felt to be a part of the audience.

“Here we go for another night / Another night goofing all around” Everyone (the audience, Mark, Ethan, etc.) having fun every single day? *chefs kiss*

“Laughing 'til our stomachs hurt / And I can't let this moment pass me by” Once again, made me think of all the good times that were a part of the channel, and all the good feelings they gave me.

“So here’s to a night we’ll remember / This is a time we never wanna forget” I think this is kind of self-explanatory? I don’t think any of us want to forget Unus Annus. Personally, it’s literally the best thing I’ve ever had the chance to see happen and be a part of.

100 Bad Days - AJR

This song just gives me good vibes, UA gave me good vibes, it had to be on the playlist. I don’t have much else to say about it.

History - One Direction

This song kind of reminds me of Ethan and Mark separately and UA as a whole. Because like,, they make a great team, they have a lot of history (friends for a long time, Ethan was a fan of Mark before that, etc.)

“You and me got a whole lot of history / So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever” A year is a long time but also feels like no time at all. Sometimes I wish we had more time for UA, but I’m glad I was here for what we got.

“This is not the end” Unus Annus is something I’ll never forget.

Dopamine - With Confidence

Maybe also kind of self-explanatory? Dopamine makes you feel good!! UA also makes me feel good. And the song talks about losing it too so.. yeah

This Is Home - Cavetown

I’m not exactly sure why I felt so drawn to this? But the vibes are immaculate.

“Are you dead? / Sometimes I think I'm dead / 'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head / But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet” after the stream vibes anyone? Or is it just me? I stayed up way too long after it was over. Too many thoughts head full

“Time is / Slowly / Tracing his face / But strangely he feels at home in this place” Unus and Annus,, the Boys of Time babey!!

Ghost Of You - 5 Seconds of Summer

Again.. The VIBES are IMMACULATE. It’s just a sad song for a sad time.

“Too young, too dumb / To know things like love” I’m just a stupid boy who got emotionally attached to a channel whose whole purpose was to DIE and I’m sensitive about it.

All I Wanted - Paramore

Lyrics make me do a Think

“Wake up early to black and white re-runs” colors of the channel,, thinking about all the vids,, the memories :(

“I could follow you to the beginning / And just to relive the start / And maybe then we'll remember to slow down / At all of our favorite parts” this entire verse?? Oh my god. Absolutely *chefs kiss* I think we all know what I mean and like,, why it gives me UA vibes

The Kids from Yesterday - My Chemical Romance

This song just gives me like sad nostalgic vibes so I thought it fit well.

“... you only hear the music when your heart begins to break” the timer reaches the end and the ticking stops? Heartbreaking, that’s all

I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

Another song thats just,, sad so it fits

“Love of mine, someday you will die” we knew from the start the the channel would literally die when the clock stopped,,

“It's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon / In the blackest of rooms” shut up I’m mourning someone hold my hand

“I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black” death goddess Amy vibes

I’ll Always Be Around - Waterparks

“If you died I'd hope you'd haunt me / Because you know I'd miss you bad” we all love UA so much!! And miss it a ton already

“I'd never I'd never I'd never get you off my mind” it’s always thinking about Unus Annus hours

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

There are multiple lyrics in this song that just make me remember we only have our memories of the channel left

“Our every moment, I start to replace / 'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say” the vids are replaced with only memories, replayed over and over

“Well, time can heal but this won't” I’ll be sad about this forever mind ur business

“But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face” the very last moment of the stream? Amy and Mark looking at the camera, Mark’s lil smile, Ethan looking back at the clock as the last few seconds tick by? AAAAH

Scarlet Cross - Black Veil Brides

Heard this and immediately reverted back to my middle school self but that’s beside the point.

“... you can't deny / The end is coming, the end is coming” we knew from the start that the channel would die

“Will we live? / Will we die? / Just keep on saving our goodbyes” There were points where people were theorizing that the channel wouldn’t actually end, there were clips near the end where the clock reversed by a few seconds, etc. need I say more?

“Hold onto me, and I can't let go” we’re all mourning, we didn’t want to say goodbye I know I’m not the only sad one

Body - Mother Mother

This song just SCREAMS Unus and Annus vibes I think we can all agree

“I've grown tired of this body / Fall apart without me, body” Unus and Annus are just entities using Ethan and Mark’s bodies,, they know their time is up so they have to leave,, the LORE it makes sense okay leave me alone

Here Comes the End - Gerard Way (ft Judith Hill)

At this point I’m just listing lyrics that I vibe with that remind me of UA and also make me sad but that’s because I’m dumb and I don’t know how to express myself or explain my thoughts oops

“The time is running out / The days are moving fast” literally every day after each video,, seeing the clock tick down? My HEART she hurt

“The clock is moving / Hands to midnight / Can we get through this?” For me, the stream ended right at midnight so THE VIBES I was sobbing

When Can I See You Again? - Owl City

“Switch on the sky and the stars glow for you / Go see the world 'cause it’s all so brand new” this lyric remind me of the vid where they were in the desert and they just looked at the stars and had a nice talk it was so wholesome I love them

“It's been fun but now I've got to go / Life is way too short to take it slow” Unus Annus is gone but we all have to remember to live, do what you want with no regrets.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult

This one is another pretty self explanatory one honestly

It’s also just a vibe like a lot of the other songs that’s all I have to say about it

Safe and Sound - Capital Cities

This song just radiates such good feelings man oof

Unus Annus felt like such a safe lil bubble for me?? Like,, Mark and Ethan did dumb shit because they WANTED TO I felt so validated like,, I also would do dumb shit if I could that probably makes no sense but I love them so it doesn’t matter

Happiest Year - Jaymes Young

This one absolutely BREAKS MY HEART

“I'm here to admit / That you were my medicine” yall,, UA was the only thing that kept me going and I'm not afraid to admit it

“Thank you for the happiest year of my life” literally the only thing that gave me serotonin oops :/

“So wake me up when they build that time machine / I want to go back” do I need to explain? Even though this year has been shitty irl, I would relive it in a heartbeat

The 3ND - Story Untold

I know this is a breakup song,, but hear me out

Some of the lyrics FIT and it’s my playlist I can do what I want shut up

“I never wanted what we had to end / But now it's over” once again,, no need to explain

“I know we had our dreams and we had plans… / That now it's time to let go” this just makes me think of the video where they talk about the video ideas they had but never filmed or just didn't post,, the CONTENT WE COULD'VE GOTTEN i'm sad

Still Remembering - AS IT IS

These boys.. My fave band of all time but also literally all their songs have immaculate vibes

“My heart's as heavy / As these nights are long” this gives me after the stream feels,, I stayed up way too long after it ended I couldn't sleep because I was sad :/

“Can you tell me what hurts more / Is it remembering or forgetting?” The whole chorus just hits me so hard man I'm so scared that I'm gonna forget unus annus because my brain is shitty even though I know I won't? I’m deadass getting a tattoo as soon as I can

Take Me Away - With Confidence

This song just makes me think about how UA was kind of an escape for me? And a lot of people yknow sometimes you just need to get your mind off of this happening around you and UA was really good for that in my opinion

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

Once again saying I would relive this year if I had the chance

Unus Annus was one of a kind, no one will ever be able to recreate it

Where’d All the Time Go? - Dr. Dog

A year sounds like such a long time but it goes by way too fast

Also I think Amy had this on her instagram story after the stream? I don't remember but THE VIBES

This December - Ricky Montgomery

Why do so many ricky montgomery songs have UA vibes? Idk

“Well, this December, I'll remember / Want you to see it when I do” UA ended in november,, we’ll remember in december and forever it FITS

“It’s just a little bit, It’s just a little bit / Lonely in this home / It’s always colder on your own'' honestly now that UA is gone there's like,, a void and I'm sad (I keep saying that but it's true so..)

When You Die - MGMT

Maybe this is the song Amy had in her story after the stream? Again,, I don’t remember

I think this one is also pretty self explanatory

Except I was feeling A LOT when the channel died but I’m glad the team was also kinda in their feels a bit yknow? It made me feel better about it

Good Times - All Time Low

“Underneath the stars we came alive / And singing to the sky just felt right / I won't forget the good times” once again,, that stargazing vid? IM CRYING all the vids gave me so much serotonin I loved them all and each day was such a good day

“I'll hate the goodbye” I don't need to explain..

“Middle fingers up, ego trip / Devil may care but we didn't mind” the chaotic vibes of the channel is what sucked me in I live for chaos that's what this lyric makes me think of

Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers

I don't think I really need to explain this one because,, just listen to the song and you'll get it but I'll just list some fave lyrics of mine

“There's nothing I can say / There's nothing we can do now” end of the stream vibes for sure

“And all that stands between the souls release / This temporary flesh and bone / We know that it's over now” Unus and Annus vibes

Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

This is one of the songs that I hear a lot in like edits I see on twitter and stuff associated with UA and I Get It the vibes are so good the song is so good I love it

“Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you / I need you here to stay” one of my fave lyrics and also just,, makes sense I miss UA

As the World Caves In - Matt Maltese

Another song that's in a lot of edits and stuff that's also,, amazing and MAKES SENSE the vibes!!

“And here it is, our final night alive” the STREAM

“You put your finest suit on / I paint my fingernails / Oh we're going out in style babe” Our boys,, Unus and Annus in the suits and eths painted nails? An absolute LOOK

I just love this song so much its so good and makes me so sad

The End. - My Chemical Romance

This song is just So Sad

And the heart monitor beeping in the beginning?? Reminds me of the clock ticking my heart is BROKEN

If you actually read all of this? I love you!! This was 6 pages so thank you for sticking through and listening to all of my dumb thoughts

[floopsboopdedoops]

17, 18, and 19 for the FE3H asks please!

*sighs heavily* Welp, time to get destroyed for these....Please be kind to me, I have Opinions and am gonna ramble a lot oop ldkjfdlsk

17. Rank the Black Eagles from your favorite to least favorite. 1. FERDINAND VON AEGIR! My sunshine boy, I love him so much, he’s just such a delight. He’s just so endlessly optimistic and kind and I??? My heart??? Anyway I love he :) 2. Petra, somewhat surprisingly. I love that she’s doing her best to adjust when she’s functionally a political prisoner (because yeah, she is ;-;), and I want the best for her. and also she’s cute and i love her hair but that’s besides the point 3. Hubert! I mean, I run a blog for this guy, so I have to have him near the top lololol - I love this awkward broody boy, even if sometimes I wanna shake him and go YOU HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF EDELGARD, JUST LET YOURSELF HAVE ONE 4. Dorothea! Absolute QUEEN both pre and post timeskip (even if my heart hurts for her post timeskip), I love her lots. I would happily watch her performances even if I have the attention span of a goldfish </3 5. Caspar! He’s very excitable and fun, and honestly I relate with the whole “I wanna fight EVERYTHING” mindset - even if I’m the biggest coward around LMAO 6. Bernie! I love her lots, and I wanna give her a hug, but Intsys...siiighs...The way she was handled could’ve been a lot better, yknow? 7. Linhardt’s...there. I used to like him a lot more, but now he sure is there. I do relate to the constant sleepiness though. 8. Edelgard...ohhhh Edelgard. I can’t really say I hate her, but she is Far from my favorite. It’s mostly her ideologies and actions that make me really dislike her, even if I can appreciate her as a character. Maybe I’ll go into it some other time, but I’ve rambled enough already.

18. Rank the Blue Lions from your favorite to least favorite. 1. DIMITRI MY BELOVED...I love my boy so much I want to give him the world and the happiness he deserves. My heart absolutely broke for him post timeskip, and I will never not be mad about his VW fate. NEVER. 2. Ashe!! Soft sunshine boy...I want to give him hugs n happiness and I love his supports so much ;w; 3. Dedue!! I jus...I jus want him to not have to constantly restrain himself and be able to express himself and share his culture....he’s such a good boyo... 4. Annette! Lil sunshine gal...I love her songs and how absolutely cheery she is! ...I would absolutely kill Gilbert for her 5. Felix! He’s one grumpy boyo, but I do love him - even if someone needs to get him to take anger management classes. Badly. Very Very Badly. 6. Mercedes! She’s so soft and nice...I love her lots. I kinda wish I had more to say, but I don’t unfortunately - I just love how soft n kind she is sdklfjkds. 7. Sylvain...I care him, but GOD does this boy need to drink his Respect Women juice. Badly. I do have a soft spot for him though, deep down. Even if I wanna strangle him sometimes KJDLFKJS 8. Ingrid....ohhhh Ingrid. I know you’re traumatized, and your dad’s a bitch, but like. You’re not that great. I’m sorry to Ingrid-lovers but I cannot tolerate her racism(or homophobia....or implied transphobia in the Japan version...) and that’s of the stuff I remember.

19. Rank the Golden Deer from your favorite to least favorite. 1. CLAUDE, OF COURSE CLAUDE IS NUMBER ONE. His route was the first one I picked, so of Course I have a soft spot already. And then he’s just?? This amazing boyo I wanna love and support forever??? Like hello that is my BOY, wanting to End Racism!! 2. RAPHAELLLL MY BOY!! He’s a goof and a himbo and he’s a very loveable goof and a himbo. He’s just so nice?? Like he might not use his brain often but by GOD does he use his heart and I love it. There isn’t enough Raphael love around here and I am very sad about it. 3. Marianne!! Boy do I just want to give this poor girl a HUG, she really deserves it. I just wanna tell her that she deserves love and support before giving her said love and support yknow sobs 4. Ignatz!! Anxious artist son...Even if sometimes I wanna shake him and tell him not to blame himself and to believe in himself more, I’m always following that up with giving him love and support because he deserves it ALWAYS. 5. Hilda! I love her lots, yknow? Shes vibing and I love her for it....Eeeeeven if her racist moments make me cringe. A lot. Like girl, please, think before you speak 6. Lysithea! I feel so bad for her, honestly? Her backstory just makes me hurt, and the fact that most of her ending cards seem to end with her dying early on?? Just um...her attitude in the Academy phase really, really irks me. She really needs therapy (like most of the kids in Fodlan in seems...). 7. Leonie...I’m sorry, I know she’s probably not that bad. In fact, she’s probably really good! Just...god does her B support with Byleth really kill whatever good feelings I might’ve had for her. I’m still trying to give her a second chance, just...the timing and what she says don’t help her at all. 8. Lorenz...I will concede that he’s much better post timeskip than he is during the Academy phase. But for the most part, his attitude during the Academy phase just got on my nerves to the nth degree. Also doesn’t help he’s got the weirdest face + haircut I ever did see KLJSDLFKJSDKLFJS

[psychadelickate]

Rizzoli & Isles: Home

Title: Home Word Count:  Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles Pairing: RIzzoli & Isles Characters: Maura Isles, Lilly Isles, Jane Rizzoli Rating: Teen Gif: Not Mine Requested: Anonymous Prompt: 3 things - a child, photograph, confessions

Sunday Night Family Dinner ended a while ago and after seeing everyone out Jane decides to spend some time with Maura and Lilly. After searching the entire house for Maura's daughter, Jane finally finds her sitting on the porch, her favorite blanket draped around her, though not really keeping out the cold.

"Wanna tell me what you're doing out here in the cold, Lils"? Jane asks the six-year-old.

"Thinking," Lilly responds.

"Must be really important, if you came out here, it's freezing," Jane exclaims as she takes a seat next to Lilly, rubbing her hands together for a little warmth.

"I needed some quiet and I needed to get away from…" Lilly stops herself before the name falls from her mouth.

"Andrea?" Jane asks and Lilly nods in response.

"Lils," Jane sighs "Andrea is going to be a part of my life now, and I know it's new and scary for you, but you have to give her a chance, honey."

"I…" Lilly starts, "I can't Jane."

"Why?"

"Because," Lilly says, and Jane raises an eyebrow at the little girl.

"Because is not a reason, Lils," Jane tells her, gently.

It's getting colder now and, in her attempt, to rearrange her blanket something falls from the Lilly's grasp. Jane sees it on the ground and lifts the album, ready to return it to its owner. The title on it, however, grabs her attention and she pulls it toward her, setting it on her lap.

"Lilly's Milestones" is the bold neat print.

Jane opens it and she feels the breath catch in her throat when she sees the first picture.

It's a picture of Maura's first ultrasound, the Doctor on the exam table, ultrasound wand pressed against her still flat abdomen, a fuzzy image on the machine, printed sonogram picture in Jane's one hand and both Jane and Maura smiling like they'd just won the lottery.

Jane turns the page and its another of Maura's ultrasound, this time just a hint of a belly. She goes through the pages, until another picture gets her attention. She doesn't know when it was taken or even who took it, but she remembers the feeling and looking at it now, she's grateful someone did.

They're standing in Maura's office, Jane's hands under Maura's, holding her now seventh month pregnant tummy, feeling Lilly move, for the first time. Jane's gaze is focused on her hands, but Maura is looking at Jane, and Jane feels her heart speed up with Maura's expression.

Another one that stands out is the day Lilly is born. When she had gone into labor, both Hope and Constance had volunteered to be with Maura, but the doctor had shaken her head and asked for Jane and no one else. Jane had held Maura's hand and encouraged her when it seemed the doctor was about to give up and when Lilly emitted the first shrill cry, both women had tears in their eyes. Unprompted, Jane had bent down and kissed Maura, on the lips, gentle but chaste.

"She's beautiful," the nurse had whispered, and the moment had been broken, brushed off and never spoken about again.

There's a few other photos of firsts for Lilly, first solid food, first sitting up, first steps, first tooth… Some from more recent times, first day at daycare, first day at pre-K, first day at kindergarten, first ballet recital, first soccer game.

"All of them have you in them Jane," Lilly's voice is so soft Jane almost misses it.

It takes a moment and then Jane gets it. Lilly is scared of losing her.

"Lils," Jane pulls the six-year-old to her, "I'm not going anywhere. We'll still do things together."

"What about Mom?" Lilly asks and this question surprises Jane.

"What about Maura?" she asks.

"Are you still going to hang out with her? Even though you hurt her every time you bring Andrea for family dinner?"

"Hurt her? Lils, honey, what are you talking about?" this is new information for Jane. Maura has never hinted so much as hurt or discomfort at Andrea's presence.

"Every time you leave after Sunday Family Dinner, mommy goes up to her room and cries. She thinks I don't know, but I can hear her, and it hurts me too when my mommy is hurting. She comes down after a while and we watch a movie then she tucks me into bed, promising me she's not sad and the next week will be better. And then the next week you bring Andrea over again…"

Jane is flabbergasted. For a six-year-old, Lilly is extremely observant, then again, she's Maura's kid, Jane didn't expect any less.

And now, she has to fix this.

Jane hands the book back to Lilly then stands up from her seated position and turns to go back into the house. She needs to talk to Maura.

"Jay," Lilly calls her, and Jane feels her chest expand. Lilly hasn't called her that in months… not since… Andrea.

"If you're going to make Mommy cry more, please don't go inside."

Jane feels her heart breaks a little.

Still she needs to talk to Maura, so she makes her way to Maura's bedroom and just as Lilly told her, Maura is lying on her bed, face down. Jane sees her shoulders jerk and that's the only giveaway to show the doctor is actually crying.

As she has done so many times before, Jane walks over to the bed and lays down next to Maura, prompting the other woman to lift her head. The surprise in her eyes is evident.

"Jane, I thought you left!" she says.

"I was about to, but I found Lilly sitting on the porch she, very reluctantly, I might add, told me about your 'After-Sunday-Dinner-Rituals'.

Jane sees Maura color, though she doesn't say anything.

"Why didn't you say something?" she asks Maura.

"I… You…" she starts then stops and gathers her thoughts. "You're happy with her Jane and I don't want to break that. If you're happy then –"

Jane cuts her off mid-sentence. "that's bullcrap Maura and you know it. The fact that we're having this conversation just proves it. Also, it's not what you think."

"Jane, you should go."

"What?"

"You should go, because if you don't I'm going to want to you to stay, forever, and you can't do that, so go. Please." Maura pleads.

"Maur?" Jane calls, gently. Maura's eyes close automatically at the way Jane says her name. She hasn't said it that way in a long time.

"Maura, are you sure about this, us, me?"

"Jane, I've never been more certain of anything in my life. I love you and I know you don't –"

This time her sentence is cut off by the press of Jane's lips on hers. The kiss is unhurried and soft and gentle and full of promise.

Even though she's loath to stop it, Maura pushes Jane away, "what about Andrea?"

"Maur," Jane starts but is interrupted by her ringing phone. They both see Andrea's name flashing on the screen.

A short conversation follows and when Jane returns, she smiles at Maura. "Well Andrea was more understanding than I thought. She also asked me when I was going to get my head outta my ass and see that I had everything right in front of me."

"Now, where were we?" Jane asks but is interrupted when Lilly jumps onto the bed with them, settling between Jane and Maura.

"Hi Mommy," she greets Maura. "Mama," she turns to Jane and Jane sees hint of a smile on the Lilly's lips.

Jane's chest feels as though it's going to burst open with the amount of love that blooms in it and she finally understands the meaning of home isn't a place, but a feeling.

if you’d like to be tagged, let me know Tag list: @stanathanxoox​ @podallthetime​ @lunacuervo​ @gnater87​ @cameronmonaghantrashaf​ @kettnerjanea​  Masterlist here

[sssaaavvveeedddd]

—— · ❝「 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 . 」

who: nicole hampton & andre kendricks

where: las vegas, nv

when: 8/13/2020

TRIGGERS TAGGED BELOW

TAGGED: @andrekendricks

NICOLE

the relief she'd felt just moments ago had, tangled in the embrace of zeke, vanished as nicole wandered down the hall dodging any and all eye contact from the venue staff or handful of friends that actually came to support and stay for the wedding. her heart heavy as she stumbled across the groom's hall. with a clenched jaw she stared at it for a brief period, hands shaking, heart plummeting into her stomach. facing the reality of what she was really about to walk into that very room and do. as guilty as she felt, the idea not being in love with andre the way she was in love with dre didn't seem right. she couldn't promise someone forever knowing that he'd never be the only on in her heart, knowing that every time she turned around she was either wishing, missing, or entangled with the other man who'd just left her bridal hall. taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door once, opening it and letting herself in then closing it and locking it right behind her. the second she saw him tux in all her lip quivered, the tears she'd been fighting during her talk with zeke once again threatening to fall as she stood pressed against the door with no idea how she was going to say what she needed to say, "dre... i need to tell you something..."

ANDRE

sipping on vodka just to calm himself down, dre was trying to keep his cool as he got ready. some of his rap fam flew in and he had face timed his kids, letting them know what was up and what he was doing today. they didn't really understand, but the last thing he wanted in life was anyone to doubt him as a father. with a photo of nipsey around his chest and on a diamond piece, he kept him with him cause that was his best man. that was his brother by another mother who he wanted him by his side for this day. after fixing up his suit and tie combo, he started to make sure his hair was waved and lips were soft. there was this weird feeling in his stomach after his conversation with bird, how this was what she wanted; to marry him. to be his wife and to be his forever. he told her she would always be a big part of his life and heart, but she broke him too much all while nikki cared to pick up those pieces of him to put it back together. and to him, that's what love is. scratching over his scruff, he told his boys to head out as he was entering. "whatchu doing, nicole? i'm not-i'm not supposed to see you." bringing a hand up to cover his eyes, he read about weddings thanks to google and that was some curse or some shit. "if there's not enough of somethin, lemme tell P, he'll handle it." the man said, looking like a dumbass with his hands covering his face like a kid during hide and go seek and his stomach in knots all over again. her voice was concerning him and his vows were written right there on the table, so he wanted to go and hide them but didn't know how to move. "why...why you sad?" he asked, not even having to look at her to know something was off, just feeling her energy and feeling the shift of all the entire day go crazy. but whatever it was, they'd tackle it, right?

NICOLE

even if it pained her, watching dre quickly cover his eyes brought a slight smile to her fallen features as she approached him slowly. "dre, listen to me... please and looking at me wouldn't be a bad start either..." she begged, grabbing the hand he'd used to cover his eyes and holding it in her own. "i want you to know that i love you. i do. i think you're probably one of the greatest men i've ever known. so i can't stand here and lie to you." the blonde paused to take a long breath, praying he'd be able to ignore the fact she was standing there trembling because in all her life she'd never pictured herself in this situation or doing anything like this. "if i told you that i was completely and totally over zeke, that i could marry you with a clear mind and heart... i would be lying to you. you deserve so much better after everything you've been through, all the heartbreak, all the struggle, and i never wanted to add to that. but i can't meet you at the alter and swear myself to you, my future, my life, when i don't have all of myself to give to you... and it breaks my heart to know that, because when i fell for you i did fell with the purest of intentions but i'm in love with someone who never gave me my whole heart back... and i don't want to give you bits and pieces, dre... you deserve so much more than that."

ANDRE

andre felt her hand coming up to take his and he wasn't sure what to make of this. his eyes were squinted as he showed no expression besides confusion at first. "whatchu mean lie to me? bout what?" dre tilted his head and brought his arms back, loosening his tie because this shit just wasn't making sense. here she was, in a wedding dress, moments away from walking down the aisle to say 'i do' but her face showed that might not be happening way before her words did. he had to laugh, he did because it was easier than crying. men like him don't cry. ever. his hand took hold of his chain with nip's photo on it and he gave it a good squeeze, praying for him to give him the restraint needed from not destroying this fucking room and that king kids face. "you here to tell me you still love your ex, that's what you're here to do. that when he asked you to not marry me, you caved and said you wouldn't huh?" shaking his head and swallowing the lump in his throat, he took a seat and grabbed a bottle of dark liquor to chug down angrily. "how the fuck could you say you love me this entire time when your heart belonged to someone else? how the fuck could you say yes to marrying me when you knew you couldn't give yourself to me at the end of the day? i called my kids, i called my sisters. i told bird that you loved me for me, that you wouldn't pull this shit, that you wouldn't hurt me like she did here you are proving her right. bird said you weren't half the woman she was and i defended you. i told her you really wanted to be with me and only me and here you fucking are, in a wedding dress, on what was supposed to be our wedding day, saying you wanna be with some piece of shit who picked another woman to marry over you without even a second damn thought." shaking his head at her, he let his tongue rest against his top lip. "so you lied. this entire time. you wasn't ever in love with me, i was just someone you used to get under his skin while he's here on vacay with someone else."

NICOLE

the act of watching andre put together piece by piece what she was here to say without giving her an opportunity to explain herself was more excruciating then words could even express. turning her face away and closing her eyes as she listened to every ounce of legitimate and very valid anger that spit venom in her direction, flinching at the harshness of his tone. "i do love you, dre... i do, i swear i never meant to hurt you. when i fell for you, i did it selfishly because even with how bad i wanted to be over zeke, i wasn't. i thought he and i were through, and i thought over time i'd be able to move on but then we came out here, and everything with us moved so fast that i... if i married you right know, in 10 years from now you figured out that the day that we got married, the day i swore my loyalty to you that i wasn't a thousand percent sure and i was still in love with someone else you'd hate me. i gave you everything i could give you, but the idea of you giving me all of you when i could only give you all that i had left, give you everything zeke didn't take isn't fair to you! i wanted this... dre, i wanted you... but i didn't know how he felt and knowing how he feels and how i feel, i-i can't do that to you." she tried to gather herself, to keep herself together and break down but it was proving harder to do than she expected. “i may not be half the woman bird is, she might’ve been right, but i’m here to own up to it, i’m here to tell you how i felt, explain to you even as bad as i wanted to be absolutely and completely in love with you i can’t be when i gave my whole heart away a long time ago and never got it back… even if i do love you. you didn’t deserve this, and no amount of apologies are going to make you hate me less than what you do right now… and i can live with that, but i couldn’t live with myself if we got married and it started out on the basis of lies.”

ANDRE

brushing his hand over his scruff, all he could do was shake his head. his entire body fell with how he was sitting & he was hunched over. "you used me, to try n get over that loser." dre spoke out, the words hurting as he processed it all. his heart was so heavy & his lips were twisting in anger & pain. "you never told me we was moving too fast. we had our kids together. i had you meet jami & i had lil z on lock for life. i thought you really wanted to be with me. i thought i was enough & you was...this entire god damn time you was still thinking bout him." bringing his finger tips to tap against his temple, he couldn't fucking believe this shit. "he hates to see you happy. that's what it fuckin' is & you just falling right for it all over again." bitterness was evident in his voice as he felt his leg shaking, voice harsh as he just kept chugging the dark liquor and thought about everything in life that he's lost. "you don't love me. don't try to feed me that bull shit. if you don't even have your heart back, you sure as hell ain't loving me with it." taking in a deep breath with the tilt of the bottle, he was trying to numb the pain with all the liquor but knew he'd need something more soon. "you shoulda said no. you shoulda told me this shit when i proposed cuz i was ready. i explained to bird why marrying you was the right choice, how you would never do this fucked up shit to me after knowing bout everything i've been through. every single thing i lost. yet you is right here in front of me, tellin me you love me, but love him more? i ain't with that shit. i gave you my all, for the first time since bird, i allowed myself to fall for someone entirely. trusted you, believed you when you said certain shit & now you got me looking like boo-boo the fool cuz of a dude who ain't ever picked you or put you first." he was hurt and in so much pain, he stood up and slid off the jacket just to throw it then turned to look into her eyes "you used me n it worked for you two."

NICOLE

knowing too well she was in for a verbal lashing for a lifetime, nicole stood there before andre every beat of his tongue cutting a distinctive piece of her virtue. every word he’d tossed at her knocking the pedestal he’d built up for her. he wasn’t wrong though, zeke had been on her mind the entirety of their relationship, from the first time they’d hooked up in one of the dressing rooms after her show until today, hell even more so after realizing she was going to marry someone else, zeke’s face popping into her mind the second she accepted his proposal should’ve been when she walked away. it selfish, but she never thought her ex felt the same way, she thought it was something she needed to move on from, she truly believed that zeke was a scar she’d always have and that she needed to learn to live and love with the scraps he’d left to her to survive. that didn’t mean she didn’t love him, she didn’t charish the way he nourished her soul, pieced her back together, but she couldn’t marry him when her whole heart wasn’t his. once he’d finished, she slowly slipped the diamond ring from her fourth finger, cautiously stepping forward while her green eyes filled with tears, “andre… i never, ever wanted to hurt you. i never wanted to add to the pain you’ve been through. i do love you, and you might not see it now… hell, you might never believe me but i mean it and i can sit here and tell you how sorry i am until we’re both blue in the face because i am… i’m so sorry. i wanted you, i wanted this to work out… and i truly thought he and i were done, i didn’t expect him to show up, to tell me he loved me… it made everything i was trying to burry impossible. it made me realize, marrying you… would’ve been me lying to you. you should have this,” she said, grabbing his free hand and placing her engagement ring into it. “i’ll go out there and tell everybody that there isn’t gonna be a wedding, but i… i’m so sorry, dre. i hope one day you’ll be able to know and understand how fucking sorry i am, how hurting you kills me.”

ANDRE

andre gave his all to nicole. all of it just to be returned. to given back to him and shown it wasn't enough. he was never enough. for anything. he loved her with everything that he had to give. dre cared about every aspect of her broken heart and tried to piece it back together, but like she stated, he never really had it as it was. it was never even there in the first place, it still belonged to her ex. bird begged for him to not be with nicole, to give him the world, to fix things and he turned her down because he wasn't that guy. when he was invested, he stood his ground and gave it all. never did he ever think this was going to be the outcome. of course he had doubts and fears, none of which he'd ever admit to, but this was his worst nightmare. "don't ever, and i mean ever, try to tell me you love me again." andre said with pain radiating through his eyes and his blood boiling.  "if you love somebody the way you claimed to have loved me, you woulda realized zeke only pulled this shit because he can't bare to see you happy. it took until your wedding day for him to come say somethin' to you. this entire trip, bird has been showing and trying to prove to me that she still loves me. that she wants this, a marriage and love, with me. but do you see her here today? do you see her trying to force herself into the wedding and change everything?" as soon as she placed the ring in his finger, he bounced it up and down a bit, closed his fist before taking a long swig of the alcohol. once the bottle was finished, he put the ring inside of it and moved to throw both out. "i dun care what the hell you tell anybody out there. you don't do this to people you say you love. but im glad i found out now that you still obsessed with zeke now then in a few weeks. it all adds up now. from seeing you naked to you flexing me, it was all for clout. you took a man who didn't put you second to try to get someone else to put you first." andre said, reaching into his pocket for his weed & his pills. popping 2, he grabbed another bottle of champagne that was supposed to be for after the wedding and popped out the cork. grabbing his vows he wrote out,  he took them and used the bubbly to soak over all of them, making the ink run and the paper turn into a wet, shredded mess. "go on, then. go be with that lil boy who is here on vacation with his ex wife. the one he married when he coulda been with you instead. im sure he's hella excited for these next two weeks he'll be all about you til it's on to the next chick that catches his eye." bringing another bottle to his lips, he moved to get undressed and fixed himself into another pair of clothes, not giving a damn what she did. he didn't even mention a damn thing about how beautiful she looked in her dress cause at the end of the day, it wasn't even for him. it was all to make zeke jealous. this entire thing was and he fell right into their ploy. grabbing hold of some of the glass wear, he threw it at the wall, pissed as fuck at the universe and mostly her for using him like this. but maybe here and zeke deserved one another if this is the whole premises of their relationship, the cat and mouse game is how they fall for one another again and use people like they're nothing to find a spark again.