#i never talk abouy my problems because i knowif i get upset ill be a dick again
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#i hate myself sometimes#i really fucking hate myself sometimes#i fucked up a relationship for my host and ill never het to exolain myself#he says hes not mad but i know he misses them and he got so fucking depressed over it#i keeo messing up i keep being so fucking mean#im always so fucking angry and scared all the time#i feel so fucking ugly and gross and just Bad#i dont like my body i dont like my face#i never have the energy to talk to people and it makes me such a bich#im always such a bitch to everyone#and i dont know how to stop#and i dont know if i can actually get better#fuck#i miss my friends#i dont know if they even think of me as friends at this point#because im always fucking gone#i never talk abouy my problems because i knowif i get upset ill be a dick again#i dont know how to stop#im trying i swear im trying#bit i act like my grandma i always have#and i dont know how to stopm#i hate how similiar wr are i hatebit i hate it i hate it#im the one who was there when she. did tha. to us#im the one who had to have that memory#im fhe one who felt it#andbi know its my hodts trauma too#but ive always felt ot ive always been the one who had to carry it#and im just#i do not think i am a good person#i do not know how to be a good person
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