#i never understood why people say luke was rory's real dad or things like that

[marrissacooper]

I was rewatching the chris and rory scene in the revival and I don't understand how people can watch it and go "this conversation foreshadows that rory will raise her baby alone" like they both look so sad... they made chris say it happened the way it was meant to be but it's obvious he regrets it (plus he contradicts himself every second like first he says he chose not to get between lorelai and rory, then he says no one could've made lorelai change her mind... but that's a conversation for another post) and rory doesn't look much better. again, it's obvious that a part of her will always wish things were different. that her dad had been a better man, that he'd been in her life more. and chris keeps saying he loves rory but she doesn't say it back, it's tragic. why would she want to put her own child through this? it makes no sense

[fizzingwizard]

blast from the past but i remember as a teenager that I never understood how Gilmore Girls season six ended. It’s funny how time clears things up, I feel like I get it now.

My dad always says Lorelai is flaky and that’s why. I don’t really agree. Bear with me. I think Lorelai is a control freak. Out of necessity, kinda. She lived in that household that constantly tried to control her, and getting out of it was her asserting her independence of their expectations. That meant she was a single mom starting with very little and working her way up to create a life of freedom for herself and her daughter.

The show itself is all about Lorelai struggling with giving bits of her control away. It begins with her giving some control of her relationship with her parents back to them when she needs to ask for money for Rory’s school. Then, of course, little by little, her control over Rory erodes as Rory gets older. (Not that Lorelai was a controlling parent - she valued freedom, not bossiness - but that’s just the parent-child dynamic: to some extent parents do control things because kids are still learning how to take care of and protect themselves. It certainly shouldn’t go farther than those basics and I don’t think it did for Lorelai - but she still felt it whenever Rory did something that was contrary to what Lorelai would have wanted. It’s also why “You sound like your mother” was a truly insulting barb to her lol)

In the meantime, she’s not only risen to being in charge of the inn, but she even goes and opens her own inn business with Sookie. Total independence. She dated Max, but balked when he wanted to know what his role would be in Rory’s life and realized she wasn’t ready to share control of their life with him. She dated Digger who to me always seemed the type way too set in his own ways for her, so I wasn’t sad to see him go. Finally she dated Luke, we all knew it would happen, but the question was always would these two very independent types be able to make it work any better than they had in the past? Because Luke’s also always gone his own way. The things both he and Lorelai had going for them was chemistry and similar values. And of course the show seemed to be rooting for them from season one :P

So while Lorelai and Luke are together, there are a number of control-related problems that crop up. We mainly see Luke give in to Lorelai. It’s never anything damaging - these are small things that are important to her, but still small, and he gives them to her out of love, not because she demands it. She does make concessions to him as well, but they’re mostly off screen (like the purple wallpaper thing). And the thing with the Twickum House... on the surface, it look like Lorelai crapped on Luke’s dream for the house because she selfishly wanted to keep her own, buuuuut he bought it without asking or telling her, and she has a right to not want to live there same as he has a right not to want to live in her place. Fortunately, he was cool with living in her place if it was expanded. So they did that. Look, a compromise!

So basically they get over every hurdle that could compromise their individual needs to feel in control of their lives... until April. April is Luke’s thing. It’s not his fault he didn’t know about her for twelve years and it’s to his credit that he wanted to be a part of her life after the fact. While I’m not super fond of season 7, I always felt it was weird that season 6 Luke never seemed angry that Anna didn’t tell him about April. It doesn’t seem like Anna had a reason to think he’d be violent or controlling of her or their child, she just thought he didn’t like kids much. That’s not a reason. People often don’t like other people’s kids but adore their own. Anyway.

Luke doesn’t want Lorelai involved with April because he’s the type to take his time with things. He needs his space. So he needs time and space to adjust to the concept of April and get to know her and feel confident of his own role as a father. He’s also a bit jealous of Lorelai’s easy rapport with people, especially young girls, but I think that’s minor in comparison to the other reasons. And Lorelai understands those things and lets him control how things go with April. Allowing him that control, though, means he’s also in control of other things: when they get married, for one, and what his relationship with Lorelai is. i think she has reason to be upset about how he didn’t make an effort to involve her in things with April (like, I definitely get that April’s mom was concerned about who was in April’s life but everyone else in the town got to meet April, there’s no reason Lorelai couldn’t have met her now and then as a townie rather than Luke’s fiancee, as long as Luke was physically there as well)

So I can see why Lorelai blew up after the wedding was postponed indefinitely (even though, if we’re talking real life, it hadn’t been all that long). She felt she’d finally found someone she felt comfortable sharing her life with, but then he started to need more patience and submission from her than she was comfortable giving. Up till then in her life, waiting for things just meant she waited while other people got what they want. To get what she wanted, she had to go take it, consequences be damned. So she takes the same route with Luke as she has with everything else in her life: she makes her own decision and lets him figure out how or if he wants to fit in with it, rather than the other way around.

In terms of whether she really needed to go that far at that point... It’s hard, rewatching it, not to feel like a sudden ultimatum in the street when you’re highly emotional is not the way to decide to break up with someone. She should have been willing to talk later, when he came back. I mean, he came back twice. But relationships are rarely about should haves. People aren’t perfect. Lorelai’s the type who rips the bandaid off fast because it may hurt more, but slow hurts longer. When she’s out, she’s out. And I think I get it in the sense that the two of them had, in canon, built up how serious their relationship was VERY fast - like from their first official date - and that comes with all kinds of expectations. The higher they climb the harder they fall. So, yeah, I think things could have been fixed the next day when Luke came back, but I do think it’s Lorelai-ish to not be willing to fix them.

There was a great bit of foreshadowing just prior where Liz and TJ have a fight and it’s due to Liz’s trauma scaring her away, and Luke is the one who goes to TJ, tells him it’s not his fault, but that in a relationship sometimes people can’t say how they really feel and that’s when you have to try to understand them out of love etc (something like that lol). He saw it clearly with Liz and TJ but wasn’t ready for it with Lorelai. Lorelai’s fear of commitment, the way she values her independence, her history with relationships gone sour, it all came to a head and Luke’s preference to take time to sort things out and decide how he feels couldn’t cope with it. It’s not that Luke was wrong. He’s entitled to be the type who needs time. But it’s not that Lorelai was wrong either. They weren’t wrong individually, but they were wrong together. It could have been avoided, but people aren’t perfect.

I still hate that they broke up and we had to spend season 7 with Christopher, but at least they got back together in the end. Season 7, man... The above is how I feel about season 6, but I think if I knew season 7 wouldn’t have the same producers, I’d never be on board with ending season 6 with such an explosion. No way could the season 7 team pick up from there without being absolutely ridiculous about it.

A Year in the Life picks up with Lorelai and Luke still together, living in her house, but not married. These days lots of people partner up but don’t get married and that’s fine - real commitment isn’t something that a piece of paper decides. But it was also kinda sad because I think every Gilmore Girls fan looked forward to Lorelai and Luke’s wedding. So I really enjoyed that AYITL dealt with that - and also dealt with the way Luke usually lets Lorelai decide various things, and that she becomes self-conscious about it, wondering if her strength of will has meant he had to give up things he wanted. He takes his time - he’s Luke, after all - but eventually he figures out how to tell her. He’s his own man. He’s independent. He lets her make decisions about things he’s okay with her making decisions on. If he really didn’t like her choice, he’d say something. Basically, you don’t have to worry about Luke. He’s strong enough for himself, and he’s strong enough for her. And vice versa. That’s why they’re a good couple. It’s when they give in to doubt that things get shaky. And then we finally got our very pretty wedding. I loved that scene and I loved the song that played (which was also used in Liz and TJ’s wedding, I believe).

Emily, of course, is just as much a control freak as her daughter even if she doesn’t realize it, but I loved how in AYITL, the way she asserts her herself is no longer in the context of the role she feels she needs to play and becomes about choosing what her path will be. She’s as “eccentric” as Lorelai, if eccentric means being yourself and doing what makes you happy. *eye roll* That’s why I don’t agree with my dad that Lorelai is flaky... I do see where it comes from but I always just thought she’s not bound by what other people think she should be. That’s hardly eccentric, it’s just strong.

And I wish we had some sort of follow up for the last four lines... I’d read a Gilmore Girls novel as a sequel if the show can’t come back again.

[missallycat]

Did you know? - Gilmore Girls FAQs, trivia and curiosites

I’ve watched this show so many times, I stopped counting years ago when I reached double digits. Is my favorite show of all times and I’ve been told almost nobody knows it as well as I do, so I decided to put together all the knowledge I’ve gained over the years of trivia tidbits, although in that I’m nowhere near an expert ;) my deal is knowing these characters and their personalities and the lines of the show lol but I figured I’d give it a try and collect all the trivia and tidbits of knowledge I’ve gained over the years in one post that I’ll continue to edit to add more stuff (there are a couple that I didn’t get a chance to add right not that will add later on)

1. Yes, that’s Kirk in guardians of the galaxy 2 http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0348231/. And yes Sam Smith (depending on the photo) does look like Kirk (Sean Gunn). Sean Gunn also played the movements of Rocket the racoon.

2. And yes that is Jess dad's girlfriend Sasha now as April's mom (yes she was/is in Twin Peaks http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000145/). Amy wanted to work with Sherilyn and rumor has it she was offered the role for Lorelai first but there’s no article yet to be found stating this directly from the Palladinos mouths.

3. And yes cousin Marilyn and Gran, Lorelai the first, Richard’s mother, are the same actress. (Happy Day’s Mrs Cunningham http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005385/?ref_=nv_sr_1).

3. Yes the girl in SH high unnamed who asks Lorelai a question and Logan’s LBD friend Juliette are the same actress. Different character. Riki Lindhome played the unnamed student of SH high and Juliette

5. Yes the first episode looks completely different (not just in the diner) because it was filmed in a different location (Ontario, Canada).

6. Yes, that’s Luke in Seinfeld. (”sponge worthy guy”) and in Will & Grace, jerk guy obsessed with huge boobs, Grace wanted to impress with the water bra. Lauren was also in Seinfield as one of Jerry’s brief girlfriends. That’s also a young Lauren in Caroline in the city.

7. That’s Chris in friends (hums when he pees guy). Yes that's both Luke and Chris on Will & Grace (Luke water bra artist narcissistic guy, Chris cabin in the woods hot guy).

8. Yes that is Logan (and with Usher for that matter lol) in that scene at 7th heaven . And yes Logan. Matt Czuchry was in the good wife, and he has his own show now “The Resident” on Fox. Currently filming a second season (as in October 1st, 2018)

9. Yes Crazy Carrie was also the Stars Hollow High teacher (by a different name) in the pilot. Same actress that plays crazy Carrie but different name of character

10. No, nobody knows if the show will ever come back (as far as it’s been told everything points to a NO). The Palladinos don’t double book, they are happy doing Mrs Maisel and they devote themselves to one show at the time. The last interview they gave on the subject was to Michael Ausiello in the podcast you can hear in the links. 1. A direct link to the article from November 2017 but is important to listen to the podcast http://tvline.com/2017/11/27/amy-sherman-palladino-podcast-interview-gilmore-girls-mrs-maisel/ 2. This is a link directly to the podcast that opens right up and they say "it would have to be the right time , we don't know but we're open. We said no before and ended up doing more that's why we're open now but it would have to be in a different format", Daniel doesn't repeat the would have to because he already said it right before in the same sentence. Basically is nothing we didn't know. However is a very interesting podcast http://hwcdn.libsyn.com/p/b/8/1/b810a8eea76b5eb5/Amy_and_Dan.mp3?c_id=17932724&expiration=1526427435&hwt=95629606ee9caf86bc57bb8d2d70cf6a. Amy and Dan Palladino show creators and writers and producers, these are the people who made this universe, these are the people who the show belongs to, this is THEIR baby and they made a damn good one.

11. No, Lauren Graham did not have cancer and write a book about it. (different person, same name).

12. No, Lauren and Scott didn't hate each other's guts they just weren't BFFs. They have both said this endlessly, they have respect for each other. Scott had a crush on Lauren when he begun the show. But from what has been told and learned about Scott, it seems he doesn’t like to get along with the rest of the cast unless is for his personal gain.

13. NO Rory is not a surrogate. They never even discussed the surrogacy Lorelai with Rory neither did Paris with Rory and Gilmore Girls is a light dramedy not a soap opera it doesn’t have sudden hidden scenes that come to change the show completely, other shows, soap operas could do that, Gilmore Girls DOES NOT. She is NOT pregnant of the Wookie. She never slept with Paul (the actor even said it wasn’t Paul’s) Milo said Jess is not the father and doesn’t romantically love Rory anymore. Only Alexis and Matt were told who the father of the baby is. The Palladinos have said clearly that the father of Rory’s baby was never meant to be a mystery. The only person that fits is Logan. The only actors they have told are Alexis and Matt and told them they could do what they wanted with the information but they have chosen not to say anything because is Amy’s story.And the Palladinos have said IT IS THE OBVIOUS CHOICE. So, Logan is the father, is no cliffhanger is open ending. Yes it would be lovely to see more of them but the Palladinos don’t have the style of wrapping up things in a big pink bow.

14. Ace is Logan’s term of endearment for Rory, it shows respect and admiration, it comes from what they used to call top reporters in the 50’s movies, he first calls her that in a IM conversation at the Yale daily news in the episode season 5 episode 6 of Norman Mailer, I’m pregnant!. Not in the poker game, not in the LDB first gathering. Is a term of respect for her abilities investigating the Life and Death Brigade.

15. The love rocket. Rory understood the meaning because it was the same model, came from an episode of the Twilight zone that was Logan’s favorite. It didn’t need confirmation from Logan because Rory had already said she understood it and she explained it to Lorelai in the same episode: “When Logan and I were first going out, we were in the pool house one night really late, and we were falling asleep on the couch. And this episode of "the twilight zone" came on -- "the long morrow." There's this astronaut who was supposed to go into space for 40 years, but right before he left, he met this beautiful woman. But for those 40 years that he was going to be in space, he was going to be in suspended animation. So when he came back to earth, he was going to be really young, but she would be really old. So he goes into space, and when he does come back, the woman is still young and beautiful because she put herself in suspended animation to wait for him, but he's really, really old because he took himself out of suspended animation so he could be old with her. He spent 40 years alone in space just waiting to see her, and he was willing to come back as an 80-year-old man, giving up almost his entire life just to spend those last few years with her. The point is, that this is Logan's favorite episode of "the twilight zone." And when we watched it together, he said, "that's true love." That's true love! This is the most romantic gift I've ever been given.”.

16. Chris wasn’t at Rory’s high school graduation. He was however at her college graduation. The reason they give is he had to work. Probably the actor who was a guest star was doing another project and couldn’t be in the episode or they just didn’t want to write him in so they could develop more the arc between Lorelai and Luke.

17. June 3rd is the date of Rory’s court date AND the date chosen by Lorelai for hers and Luke’s wedding in the original show. Is the same date different year, coincidence as Lorelai herself says the date happened to happen. There’s a theory that is ASP’s best friend Helen Pai’s birthday. Since it was in an old interview we haven���t found the confirmation of it yet becaue there’s no data (at least on the searches we’ve done so far by various people) on Helen Pai’s date of birth.

18. Lane’s story is loosely based on Helen Pai’s, executive producer of the show and Amy Sherman Palladino’s best friend. HEP ALIEN is an anagram of her name (Pai’s name). Helen Pai’s husband is real life Dave Rygalski which was the character of Dave initially based on until the actor had to leave for a better offer.

19. The real life Dave Rygalski shows up in the troubadour’s “attack” episode, he was with Daniel Palladino who was singing a beaver ate my thumb Dan is singing and Dave is playing the bass. Daniel Palladino is also the town loner, the one who protests at the church and appears briefly in the pilot episode leaving Luke’s. In total Dan Palladino shows up three times in the show

20. Keiko Agena and Emily Kuroda are Japanese American that’s why when they speak korean in very few moments in the show is very difficult to understand for people who do understand korean. Also Mrs Kim’s real name, at least Korean’s name is Jong Ya. Lane’s is Hyun Kyung, without last names, which come first in Korean Culture so Lane would be Kim Hyun Kyung, Mrs Kim however would not be Kim as last name, that’s a westerner tradition, in Korea women don’t change their last name when they marry and they are referred as Madam, Auntie, or as mother of such (name of youngest child) depending on level of familiarity. There’s never a mention of Mrs Kim’s “westerner” first name.

21. There’s also no idea of what Lane’s father does or where he is during the original show. Amy Sherman Palladino show creator said she never saw the need to create or cast a Mr Kim because it was more to focus in the mother and daughter dinamics. No is not the unnamed Asian waiter at Luke’s. Mr Kim appears in the revival for a brief moment, never before. There’s a fan theory going around that he was never there because he had to constantly be traveling to supply antiques for the store. Lane mentions “my parents”, “my mother and father” in a handful of ocassions through the show. He WAS NOT the unnamed Asian waiter that is always at the background at Luke’s. The Palladinos had never made anyone pass for Mr Kim not even as the back of a head until the revival as a way of fan service and as a joke like saying “oh look, so maybe he had been there the entire time”.

22. The translation of the korean wedding ceremony is here: https://missallycat.tumblr.com/post/173812878159/i-got-a-sidekick-out-of-you (is a tumblr post) complete with before and after.

23. What does Lane’s grandmother say when she arrives at the house before the wedding? Grandma takes her coat and she sees Lane, she calls out her name Hyun Kyung-a (the a is an added sound they use for familiarity when they call someone's name) and tells her to come down. After Lane comes down she pats her in the cheek and says Lane is "oh so pretty!". Lane replies, "welcome, grandmother, I am very happy you came." The grandmother then says, "it's good to have come / I'm glad I came." She then talks to Mrs Kim (Yong Ja-ya Jong Ya is the name the ya the added familiarity informal sound), asking why is that Budha statue here in the room?. Mrs Kim says I was going to move it, mother (formal). Grandma walks through the house she's saying, "ugh, it's so dirty and stuffy in here - open a door." Then Mrs Kim says something that sounds sort of like, "rest first, please." When the camera cuts to Lane and Rory giving each other 'the look,' Grammy Kim is saying, "hey, why didn't you come out to the airport?" Mrs Kim maybe replies, "you said yesterday... that I shouldn't..." (and the sentence doesn't finish). Grammy Kim then says, "the atmosphere/karma is bad [in here]. It needs to be changed. Let's bow 108 times."

24. The episode of Jess in California “Here comes the son” WAS the backdoor pilot episode of what was going to be made into a spin off. But it wasn’t deemed interesting enough by the network to justify the expenses of shooting in the actual locations so it didn’t happen.

25. Miss Celine and Drella the harpist are the same actress. Alex Borstein. She was going to be Sookie, she was in the unaired pilot but due to conflicts with her other show she couldn’t be so she came later as other characters. She was also the voice in Dwight’s answering machine (especially my trivial pursuit!) and the woman’s voice in the museum. Jackson was married to her but they are divorced know.

26. Paris (Liza Weill) initially auditioned for the role of Rory, she didn’t get it but they liked her so much they created Paris for her.

27. Luke was initially going to be a woman but they figured the show needed more testosterone so they casted Scott. This has been the first and only major role Scott Patterson has had in his entire “career” as an actor, the one that led him to get a few more minor roles, rumor has it, he’s very difficult to work with and not talented enought to be worth the pain. He milks Gilmore Girls every chance he gets.

28. Sookie was going to be gay but the network put a stop to that, they didn’t want any openly gay characters in the show. The Palladinos were new at this so they accepted the network’s conditions. Is probably why Michel was always put as bicurious or closeted gay man during the original show and was only fully out in the revival as an obvious thing that needed no explanation or backstory because everyone always assumed Michel was gay.

29. Kirk (Sean Gunn) was initially just an appearance, Mick in the pilot episode, then swan guy, then Kirk new manager at Doose’s new in town who didn’t know Miss Patty or anyone and then became the Kirk Gleason we know and love. Sean Gunn was initially an extra but they loved him so much they created Kirk Gleason as permanent character for him.

30. Gypsy and Berta, the maid in AYITL are both played by the extremely talented, Rose Abdoo. She was hilarious in a reading when they hadn’t casted anyone yet so she was given the part. Her language is “berta-ese” lol She speaks mostly Spanish, a couple of words could be Brazilian portuguese (maybe?), is mostly nonsensical Spanish words in the kind of Spanish that wouldn’t make a sentence with any meaning or sense and Rose Abdoo said she had changed a few vowels of the words to make it more confusing.G

31. The unkown town elder (towel guy) is played by William Morgan Sheppard. He was never in the show before or after.

32. None of the elders were the same actors or characters of Richard’s two friends in the golf outing with Rory. But one of those friends was the reverend that buries gran, and in the revival is Charlie of the gazette.

33. Rory’s resident advisor Tess the girl who hands her the keys on her first day of Yale (SE04 EP2 “The Lorelais first day at Yale”) is a different actress than Sandee from Sandee says in AYTIL (a year in the life, netflix GG revival) Tess name is Joy Darash http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1384632/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t17 Sandee is Julia Goldani Telles http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5065920/?ref_=tt_cl_t3 (if you ever saw ASP’s show bunheads that’s Sasha)

34. When they take the roadtrip to Harvard. The picture of the girl Lorelai stares at when she’s in the hallway is a stranger it has to do with the year not the girl herself. That's the year she would have graduated if she went to an Ivy league college as it was planned. It was sort of a “what if” moment.

35. Emily Gilmore didn’t go to Yale she went to Smith to study History. Women weren’t admitted in Yale at the time Richard and Emily went to college but it was usual that girls colleges and guys colleges would have parties together and visited each other when there were couples. First mention of Emily attending Smith was in season 5. How many kropogs to cape cod. Richard jokes how Emily got kicked out of the women’s softball team for elbowing another girl. In season 7 I’m a kayak hear me roar, Emily says she went to Smith and majored in History.

36. They talk about Richard’s mother in the first season in past tense but later on Trix appears. It was an error of the first season when things weren’t that defined.

37. Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia did date in real life, apparently it ended really badly. She also dated Jared Padalecki. She didn’t date Matt Czuchry at least not that is known but both are extremely private people, however they are good friends and trust each other a lot from every interview they have given and enjoy working together. She’s now happily married to her Mad Men costar Vincent Kartheiser and they have a beautiful boy together.

38. Luke’s diner has the sign of William’s hardware store and not Danes’ because as a fandom we assume William was his dad’s first name. You’ll see changes in the diner all through the show. However Luke’s parents names are never mentioned ever during the show. The pilot episode was filmed in Unionville Ontario in a building that was formerly Williams hardware. For continuity when they moved to the studio lot at Warner Brothers the name was kept. I don't remember them ever explaining the name on the series other than the hardware store belonged to Lukes father

39. Lorelai’s doll house is NOT the same dollhouse on friends but it is the dollhouse they show on sale at Kim’s antiques, in one episode where Lane is going to talk to her mom about the band and Mrs Kim cracks the joke “but is past their bedtime”.

40. Yes Gil from Hep Alien is Sebastian Bach from Skid Row.

41. Yes the “hug-a-world” that was in the garage in season 4 is on their couch in season 1! (Same as the scary clown pillow is in a number of seasons lying around lol)

42. Alexis Bledel is actually a Latina. She was born and raised in the US but grew in a Spanish speaking, latino, household, her father and paternal grandfather are Argentinian, her mother, like herself was born in the US, but Alexis’ mother grew up in Mexico. Alexis didn’t learn English until she started school. The episode where Rory speaks Spanish with Esperanza (Season 6 episode 2: “Fight face”) she anglicized her native Spanish BECAUSE Rory didn’t know much Spanish. There’s an old interview with Ellen Degeneres on set while filming season 6 or 7 that she’s asked to translate for Lauren, she doesn’t translate everything due to nervousness. (It also happens when you live your adult life in a country that doesn’t speak your first language, growing up bilingual, you tend to adopt the accent of the language you use most and tend to confuse some words when you don’t use your native language often).

43. People praised the chemistry and physical closeness between Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel, but there is actually a very logical reason for this: Alexis was a model and was just starting out acting and had a tougher time making her marks, so as veteran, Lauren often physically moved Alexis to make sure she was in the right place. Lauren told “The Today Show” in 2015: "The camerawork on that show is very specific and we really had to hit certain marks, which especially when you start out, is just a foreign concept...I remember a lot of times just kind of grabbing her, just kind of leading her arm. So, in the beginning, people are like, 'You have such great chemistry.' And I'm like, 'I'm mauling her. That's why.'"

(check this entry from time to time because I’ll keep writing fun facts)

[angstsplatter]

Gilmore Girls Character Analyses

First, let’s just get this out of the way: Emily and Richard Gilmore are incredibly emotionally abusive. Lorelai grew up in an abusive household and was once again subjected to this abusive treatment on a regular basis when Friday Night Dinners started up.

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Lorelai acts really immature and juvenile but is actually surprisingly responsible. Growing up in such a strict and emotionally toxic/abusive household, she hides behind childish humor and taking nothing seriously as a defense mechanism. Until she ran away, Lorelai didn’t have anyone she could really trust enough to talk to or confide in. Everything she said and did was subject to judgement and ridicule. To protect herself from breaking down and always moping and crying and just feeling completely beaten, Lorelai developed a quick sarcastic and biting wit, as well as the ability to distract and change from the subject. She talks a lot to put off having to hear the criticism about to come her way. Lorelai’s talkative sarcasm and childish humor isn’t just some eccentricism or character quirk. It’s a very core part of her character. It’s how Lorelai survived growing up in that hellhole of her home and childhood. And it means she’s not the most emotionally mature person and so can struggle in forming close relationships (hard to get close to people when you have a hard time trusting people and telling them real things about yourself).

So Lorelai is, perhaps surprisingly, responsible and actually pretty damn good at this adulting thing. She became a mother at 16/17 and ran away to live on her own, after never having been prepared to do so (with her parents staff, she was absolutely never taught how to cook, clean, pay bills, or otherwise take care of herself at all), somewhere around 17/18. With a young child, she still managed to both get a job and single-handedly support her baby daughter. She figured out how to work and do a good job. She figured out how to take care of a baby, then a toddler, then a child, then a teenager. She figured out how to pay bills and purchase a house. She figured out what to do when things go wrong (plumber, electrician, ...Luke, etc.).

Sure, Lorelai never learned to cook. She’s not someone who can fix up stuff for herself around her house. But having never been prepared, Lorelai was determined to do things on her own and figured out how to take care of herself and her child. She kept herself together, worked her way up the inn chain, and did a pretty damn good job doing it all. She’s never outgrown her defense mechanism or figured out how to actually create boundaries and protect herself from her parents (and generally struggles with criticism from anyone as a result), but when it comes down to tackling life’s problems, Lorelai always faces what’s going on and takes care of herself and her kid.

Then, on the other hand, we have Rory, who acts very mature and seems much older than her age, yet is actually incredibly immature and unprepared to tackle life on her own. I think this is pretty common with kids raised by teenagers, where their parents are (even by Lorelai’s own admission) more friends and peers than parents and authority figures.

Especially with Lorelai, Rory never really learned appropriate boundaries. And I don’t just mean that they talked about everything with each other and it turned into a fight if Lorelai ever tried to offer advice or guidance because Rory was used to her mom just supporting her no matter what and being treated like a friend instead of a child. It’s also things like Lorelai waking Rory up in the middle of the night, no matter that she was a growing girl that needed sleep or needed to be able to function at school the next day, when it’s her birthday or she has a weird dream. 

And Rory has never been particularly good at making friends and doesn’t have a huge, bursting social life. She has Lane, later found Paris quite by accident (and more of a desire for peace than anything else), and has the occasional boyfriend, but that’s about it. And Paris and the boyfriends came when she was an older teen. For most of her life, her mom has been her biggest influencer and where she learned relationships.

It’s this lack of boundaries and growing up with as much casual honesty as she did with her mom that I think makes Rory, who is described several times by other characters as kind and nice, so okay with consistently cheating (absolutely knowingly cheating with Dean and later Logan and thereby cheating on her own boyfriend at that time as well). And please don’t read that as Rory’s cheating being Lorelai’s fault because it’s not - Rory is her own person responsible for her own actions. I do think that she never really learned proper boundaries, though, and that is part of what goes into her decision to excuse away cheating. I think that’s also partially why she does things like constantly pushes Lorelai towards Emily and Richard, even after she sees firsthand how cruel they are towards their daughter. Her and her mother are so much a part of each other’s lives, she never really grew up and understood that Lorelai’s relationship with Emily and Richard are really... not her business. Same with telling her dad to stay away from her mom.

Rory’s pretty entitled - and incredibly spoiled by overprotective adults, which doesn’t help. Everyone treats her like a princess. She’s the golden ‘child’ of her grandparents. She’s the apple of her mom’s eye. Luke and Sookie and Miss Patty all adore her and take care of her. When she and Dean break up, the town rallies to protect her. Because that’s what the town does: protect Rory. Which is why I think she found Jess and especially Logan so intriguing and attractive. Jess encouraged her to indulge and be “bad” - to not study, to relax and do something fun. Logan in particular never treated her like she was made of glass. He pushed her outside of her comfort zone, got her to try new things, and never said she couldn’t do something.

As a side note, since we’re on the subject, I just want to say that all of Rory’s boyfriends have been really not great except the “forgettable” guy in the new seasons who is, of course, treated like shit. Dean was jealous, possessive, and also didn’t respect boundaries and so was often described as clingy since the amount of time he wanted to spend in the relationship with Rory was more than she was ready for. Jess didn’t communicate well, often kept secrets, and didn’t give Rory enough respect to say good-bye to her. Logan encouraged unhealthy and dangerous behavior in Rory. He also became distant and mean during the period where he was working for his father and really didn’t want to (yet wasn’t brave enough to leave the money behind and live for himself like Lorelai did).

Finally, the fact that Rory has really been spoiled for most of her life could go into why she is seemingly so unprepared to not only get a job in a field she claims to love but is surprisingly underprepared when a job opportunity crops up (I’ve had several jobs basically just offered to me and I’ve still had to at least pretend to interview for all of them, including a job where I worked several summers and they loved me and I was guaranteed a position - and still am if I ever asked). Whereas Lorelai did have to work hard to find her way, Rory grew up in a much more comfortable household in a small town where she was well known and beloved. She works hard at school, but she knows how to work hard for school because reading and studying are things she enjoys anyway. The job world is a tad different and more difficult and so strange for Rory to succeed in.

So that’s some of my thoughts on who Lorelai and Rory are and why they act in some of the ways they do.

tl;dr: Lorelai Gilmore acts immature but is responsible and more than capable of taking care of herself whereas Rory Gilmore gives the appearance of maturity while being emotionally immature and and largely irresponsible.