#i now also have a full dozen duck eggs in the fridge

[songsintheattic]

i suddenly heard a bunch of quacking and honking that seemed way too loud and i looked out the back window and the ducks were loose??? i think ursula knows how to open the trailer door but the only other time he did it was to let everyone out in the morning

[jenroses]

Cheap, low spoon cooking

My cooking tends to start with protein, and because of my food issues, that protein is generally meat, and if you argue with me about that, I’ll block you, because if you want to do a thread on low cost vegan cooking, go right ahead, you’ve got your own blog right there.  Holler if you want more specific instructions for any of these, and let me know whether you just need a basic recipe or “how to for a complete noob to the kitchen” or anything in between. 

1. Chicken

Chicken is at the top of the list for cheap and easy, because it can often be had for less than $1.50 per pound, and because many preparations of it can be done with less than 5 minutes of work (oven time not included.)

Basic: get whole chicken. Preheat oven to 450. Pull out giblets. Sprinkle salt on skin. Roast at 450 for 1 hour. Enjoy crispy skin, tender meat. Same method (shorter cooking time, about 45 minutes) works for bone-in skin-on thighs. With the whole chicken, you can usually make one bird into several meals, by using the meat for one meal, and making soup out of the bones and whatnot for the next meal.   If you get skinless boneless thighs, they’ll usually be a little cheaper than skinless boneless breasts. Don’t roast them, cut them up, drench them in a marinade, and pan fry the pieces. Serve with pasta or rice and stir fried veggies. 

2. Pork

Pork tends to range in price from $2.50 per pound up to $8 per pound. I’m usually getting pork shoulder for about $3 per pound. Shoulder and “country style ribs” are incredibly cheap and can be pressure cooked (instant pot) or slow cooked into pulled pork with seasonings, or you can get slightly fancier, make a marinade of coconut aminos and orange juice (or apple juice and apple cider vinegar, or rice wine vinegar, mirin, soy sauce, whatever, just make sure there’s some salt and some acid and some sweetness in the marinade to help tenderize the meat), and cut the shoulder roast into 3/4 inch thick steaks, cutting across the grain, then put in a bag or bowl with the marinade overnight. We add onions and garlic and shallots to the marinade because I can digestively tolerate them only if they’ve been soaking in acid of some sort for a while.  My favorite is to marinade in orange juice, coconut aminos, chilis, onion, garlic, etc. overnight, then pan fry the steaks, turning often, until golden brown. The resulting pork shoulder steaks get cut into strips and served a variety of ways--tacos, sandwiches, lettuce wraps, whatever. We usually use about 8 oz per person if there’s no fancy sandwich toppings, and 6 oz per person or less if making wraps or tacos. I have to have a little more energy for this method, and will often have someone else prep the aromatics. 

3. Eggs Even farm eggs, if you live anywhere near a rural area, can be had for less than 50 cents an egg, and regular conventional eggs have been $2 per dozen or less basically as long as I’ve been alive. Basic egg recipes can go from fridge to table in about 5 minutes. I usually get eggs from a friend whose neighbors have backyard chickens, for about $4 per dozen. A good nonstick egg pan + eggs is a fast way to get protein into you without spending all your energy doing it. Over easy, scrambled, omelet, or my kid’s favorite, egg in the hole... all cheap and incredibly fast.

4. Beef Most beef is not cheap, and has been getting steadily more expensive for years. That said, if you understand how to cook various less fancy cuts, and shop at a local butcher, chances are you can get your meat for far less than a typical grocery store. I rarely go for things like ribeye or filet. We’re all about the round roast, chuck roast and flat iron here. Also like the shank. I rarely spend more than $7 per pound on beef, usually closer to $6. But again, we’re shopping at a local butcher who sources meat locally and does all breakdown themselves.  Tricks: Look for a whole flat iron and ask the butcher to cut it. The method I ask for is “Please cut it off the silverskin and then into 6 oz portions.” This eliminates most of the gristle layer, leaving incredibly tender meat with a ton of flavor. The flat iron is from the chuck, but is a specific muscle that doesn’t get used a lot, so it’s very tender. Round roast, tip roast... these can be just salted and roasted very slowly (like, 200 F) if you have a meat thermometer with a probe that can stay in the meat, so that you roast it at very low temp until it comes up to about 110-120 degrees, then you take it out, turn the oven up to like 450, put a rub on the meat, and blast it at high heat until the probe is at 140. Then you let it rest for a while and come up a few more degrees, and what you get is a roast with a crust, as tender as the cut is likely to get while staying pink, which, cut thin, will be fantastic roast beef. If you don’t have a fancy thermometer, we usually start it high, then turn it down without opening the oven and let it go for an hour or so before checking with a cheap thermometer. But you can also cut into smaller pieces, marinade, and stir fry. You can ask the butcher to cut your roast into chunks for stir fry, if you aren’t up to the cutting.

Chuck, shank, and other tough cuts can be pressure cooked into super tender pot roast very quickly. Wine, mushrooms... We use cheap sulfite-free wine and whatever mushrooms are most affordable for this. 

 5. Lamb Lamb can be pricey, but we get a boneless leg roast (grass fed) at Costco for about $6 per pound, which is one of the best prices out there for grass fed meat. We use the roast in one of two ways: We either roast it low and slow like beef, serving it rare, or we cube it and pressure cook it with savory liquids and then serve it with coconut milk and curry paste over rice. So good.  6. Duck Our local Asian markets usually have whole duck for $3.50-ish per pound. It’s outrageously expensive literally anywhere else. Duck doesn’t cook like chicken, exactly... you must score the fat if you want it crispy, which means poking the fat without poking the meat. We roast at high temp, flipping as needed, to get a very crisp duck without drying out the breast. SAVE the drippings and use them in soup, or to cook eggs or potatoes in. Duck fat is like gold. So much flavor. 1 duck feeds 3 of us an indulgent amount of duck.  Cooking gadgets for reducing the amount of physical energy you need to cook things: I never, ever use slow cookers because even used properly they seem to create less flavor than the pressure cooker methods. Pressure cookers are like slow cookers for procrastinators. Things that normally would take all day take an hour. Things that would take a couple of hours will take 30 minutes. The amount of money you can save in cooking beans alone vs. canned will pay for it. Pressure cooker is often the difference between me making homemade stock and throwing the carcass away. They’re also about as efficient at transferring heat into meat as any form of cooking you can get, so the energy savings are not irrelevant. Instant Pot is $70-ish at Costco right now, I’m just saying.  An oven is helpful, but if you don’t have a full sized oven or can’t bend that way, a toaster oven can do a LOT. If you can get one that is large enough to cook a chicken in, you don’t need a larger oven if you aren’t doing large scale cooking. If you have a child who wants to learn to cook, a cheap toaster oven costs about the same as an EZ bake, but is an actual real kitchen device which can do real cooking. Spend a little more and get one with air circulation and a little more interior space if you can afford the counter space and the money.  I know people like air fryers, I’ve not seen the point. Very few things an air fryer can do that a convection toaster oven can’t, and the form factor is better for the toaster oven for cooking a reasonable amount of tater tots. (priorities!)

Food processor: If you find chopping things a barrier, food processors can slice and grate very quickly, and rinse off nicely without a lot of elbow grease. I don’t usually bother, but I have minions who will do chop prep for me. If you don’t, even a small food processor will be less taxing on sore joints than most chopping. If you want to make pastry, a food processor is a must if you have energy issues. 

Knives and a means to sharpen them: dull knives make cooking incredibly exhausting and tedious. Sharp knives make it all work so much better. The base price of the knife is less important than the condition you keep it in, as youtube will be happy to show you in a variety of mesmerizing videos. 

Meat thermometer: Sort by reviews, ignore any where the reviews are suspicious. My strong preference is for digital quick-read ($10ish) OR probe-style leave-in. ($20-ish) You want this for food safety AND so that you can avoid overcooking roasts. 

Cutting board: ideal is something with a groove (prevents juices from flooding the counter and contaminating everything) that runs around the edge. Cheap plastic boards can be convenient, I guess, but are harder to get reliably clean than wood, which tends to kill off germs. My favorites are bamboo. Not terribly spendy, super pretty, work very well. 

The pans I use: 9x13 pyrex baking dish for most of our chicken stuff dark enamel roaster (not huge unless you’re going to do turkeys) for beef roasts (very cheap) large baking trays lined with silpats (both bought at costco, idek, they’re ideal for tater tots and such and don’t get problems with sticking and are easy to clean)  Nonstick PFOA-free egg pan, sautee pan and 11 inch griddle. I think I spent $22 at Target on three egg-type pans of different sizes? Not particularly spendy, but you do need to replace them every 5 years or so. variety of saucepans and pots in stainless (I have cuisnart and Kirkland and they’re fine and last kind of forever barring disasters and sometimes even then. Can be bought second hand.) We use a lot of pyrex stuff because it’s convenient for leftovers and mise en place. If you have someone helping with chop prep, little dishes full of prepped things make the cooking go so much easier. But you can do that in regular dishes too, we’re just fancy that way (and I stg the pyrex breeds in the cupboard.)

I’ll talk starches if people want. 

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Magic and Miracles Chapter 3

Hello fake dating trope. AO3 or read below. Part 1 Part 2 

Magic and Miracles

Chapter 3

“Well good morning sweetheart,” Sylva greeted back warmly before she noticed the young man behind her daughter, Sylvia's warmness suddenly replaced with an air of cautiousness. “And who is this?” Sylva asked looking past her daughter to Nyx curiously.

“Mom, this is my boyfriend, Nyx, Nyx Ulric,” Luna introduced with a measure of forced calmness, despite the sudden anxiety gripping her chest at her mom’s change in demeanor even though it was outwardly very subtle. “Nyx, this is my mother, Sylva Nox Fleuret,” Luna gestured toward her mother as she watched her mother’s expression ever so carefully for her reaction.

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Nox Fleuret.” Nyx greeted respectfully as he walked around Luna to shake her mother’s hand.

“Pleasure,” Sylva smiled, pleasantly surprised by Nyx’s respectfulness and shook his hand.

“Luna, when did you decide to date again? I thought you were taking a break from that sort of thing?” Sylva posed to Luna as she studied the pair curiously.

“Oh, um, well...” Luna began to stammer as she rocked back and fourth on her feet a little, looking to the ceiling as if held the answer to that.

“You know, Mrs. Nox Fleuret, sometimes, people just meet and instantly click and instead of trying to over analyze it, you just feel compelled to go with it.” Nyx supplied, hoping that was a suitable answer.

“Yes, exactly.” Luna beamed proudly, taking Nyx’s hand in her own and giving it an appreciative squeeze, letting the contact ground her. “So, how was your date last night?” Luna asked, changing the subject.

“Oh, it was lovely dear, he and the boys will be coming to your performance on Saturday,” Sylva informed Luna.

“Really? Well isn’t that a coincidence, because Nyx and his sister, Selena, one of my new dearest friends had wanted to go too, it will be quite the event then.” Luna smiled before her gaze fell slightly to see a dark spot on her mother’s neck that her mother obviously had tried to cover with makeup. But Luna knew a hickey when she saw one. Luna made sure to not change her facial expression even though inwardly she was squealing with joy.

“Then I’ll have to get a box,” Sylva smiled. “Would your sister and yourself like to join us for dinner after the performance as well?” Sylva invited to Nyx.

“Sounds great,” Nyx nodded.

“Excellent, also, your brother said he would like to invite a special guest for dinner so we’ll be quite the party.” Sylva smiled.

“Really? Did he say who?” Luna inquired curiously.

“He is choosing to keep that piece of information to himself, and you know how he is.” Sylva shook her head with a playful smile and a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, the harder you pry, the harder he clams up.” Luna nodded in understanding with a bit of a chuckle herself.

“Well you two should get some breakfast before it’s all gone. It was lovely to meet you Nyx, you’re welcome any time.” Sylva invited as she turned and walked back out of the hallway. “Oh and I’m taking the dogs for a walk.” Sylva added as she walked away.

“Have fun,” Luna bid her mother.

Once Sylva had disappeared from the hallway, Luna tilted her head back and blew out a breath of relief. Squeezing Nyx’s hand again as she did so.

“Your mom is nice.” Nyx offered.

“Yeah, and then when you leave she’ll grill me about everything I know about you so we may need to have a lengthy talk before you go.” Luna revealed in a whisper, like her mother might hear her.

“Grill you?” Nyx repeated with a quizzical brow and a lop sided grin.

“Yeah, like what your favorite color is and your favorite food and how well I think I know you before I just, had you spend the night with me, she is not happy,” Luna grimaced.

“She seemed fine,” Nyx countered.

“Yeah, to you, just now, because this is the first time she’s met you and she doesn’t want to be rude but when you leave, that may change.” Luna specified. “I’m her precious princess who must be protected from all dangers,” Luna explained sarcastically.

“But what about Andrew? You said he was dangerous.” Nyx countered in all seriousness.

“He is, but it’s...um...very... complicated,” Luna sighed sadly.

“How?” Nyx asked, confused.

“Let’s just eat breakfast, I’ll tell you later,” Luna suggested as she headed toward the kitchen, gently leading Nyx and giving him a partial tour of her home as she did so.

“Good morning Lunafreya,” Marie smiled from her spot in front of the stove, making heaps of breakfast food as it was laid out on the counters. Most of the pastries had been bought from Ravus’ favorite bakery that morning since Ravus had been planning this sleepover for a while and had put in an order for all their favorites. 

“Good morning Nana,” Luna greeted happily, dropping Nyx’s hand to hug Marie from the side.

“And who is this handsome young man?” Marie asked as she noticed Nyx.

“Oh, Nana, this my boyfriend Nyx, Nyx Ulric.” Luna introduced proudly. “Nyx, this is Marie but we call her Nana, she’s been taking care of Ravus and I for practically all our lives.” Luna explained.

“Nice to meet you,” Nyx nodded as he reached out and shook her hand.

“Pleasure, well Nyx, grab a plate and get it while it’s hot.” Marie invited. “Oh and Luna, hand me those berries so I can make your favorite crepe.” Marie instructed.

Luna smiled and handed Nyx a plate as well as pulled out the drawer where their silverware was kept so he could serve himself before handing the bowl of mixed berries to Marie, stealing a large, heaping handful and stuffing them into her mouth.

“Child, I swear,” Marie teased.

Luna smiled around her full cheeks at Marie before washing her hands to help get the stains off her hand.

“Nyx, do you drink coffee?” Marie asked.

“Yes I do,” Nyx confirmed.

“Lunafreya, show Nyx where the mugs are.” Marie instructed. “I just refilled the carafe, your brother and his friends have downed five huge pots worth already, creamers and sugar should be on the table as well.”

Luna went into the fridge and got herself a huge glass of orange juice herself. “You want some OJ Nyx?” Luna asked.

“Nah, coffee should be fine.” Nyx shook his head.

Luna nodded and picked up a plate of her own and got a few strips of bacon and a spoonful of scrambled eggs and fried potatoes and other breakfast items as she made sure to leave plenty of room for the crepe before handing it over to Marie who plated Luna’s crepe.

“Thank you Nana,” Luna thanked her before she took the bowl of berries and dumped some more on top of it before sprinkling it with powdered sugar.

“You’re welcome Sweet Pea,” Marie cooed back.

“Berries?” Luna offered.

“Sure,” Nyx nodded as he made a little space for them.

“Come on, lets go eat,” Luna suggested as she nodded toward the dining room before making her way there herself with Nyx following closely behind.

Luna was relieved to see two open spots next to Luche. “These taken?” Luna asked Luche.

“By all means,” Luche replied, quickly standing and pulling out her chair for her.

“Aw, thank you,” Luna smiled at him for his chivalrous act, ducking her head a little as blush dusted her cheeks. Luche’s smile only growing wider at her reaction. She was becoming more receptive towards him.

Nyx couldn’t help but roll his eyes slightly at it as he simply put down his plate and mug before sitting down himself.

“Hand me the carafe would you man?” Nyx asked Luche.

“Sure,” Luche said as he handed it to Nyx.

“Cream or sugar?” Luna asked.

“No, I like it black.” Nyx shook his head.

Luna nodded in understanding as she committed that detail to memory.

“Good morning Luna,” Craig smiled as he sat down across from Luna.

“Good morning Craig, have you met my boyfriend Nyx?” Luna smiled as nodded toward Nyx.

“Nice to meet you man,” Craig smiled as he reached out to give Nyx a firm handshake and a friendly smile before tilting his head slightly to the side giving Luna a curious look because Luna had not mentioned that when Luna had talked about Nyx last night.

“So...how long has this been going on?” Craig asked as he looked from Nyx to Luna with a curious but slightly disbelieving look and grin.

“Just..recently,” Luna answered as she lowered her gaze to her plate and quickly stuffed her mouth with berries and crepe.

“Uh huh,” Craig nodded before he delved into his own breakfast. Dipping his toast into his runny egg yokes.

“How’s Lily?” Luna asked about Craig’s little sister who had just recently turned 8, after she swallowed her bite.

“She’s good, had her own slumber party last night, didn’t feel like being a jungle gym for a dozen sugar crazed and over caffinated girls,” Craig nodded with a chuckle.

“Like last time,” Luna snickered herself. “Well, good, tell her I said hi. How many pounds of candy did your mom buy them this time?” Luna asked with a shit eating grin.

“Fifteen and a case of Mountain Dew and there was no way in hell I was staying home, with all of them running and bouncing off the walls and outright losing their minds.” Craig answered with an exaggerated shudder for comedic effect that got Luna to giggle as Craig smiled brightly, loving it whenever he could make her laugh.

“Jesus,” Luna laughed. “Wow,” Luna shook her head as she began to eat her bacon.

“Good morning,” Andrew greeted as he came and sat down across from Nyx. Craig gave Andrew a resentful side glance that Andrew completely ignored as all the smiles from Nyx, Luna, Luche and Craig instantly vanished.

“Lune de ma vie, s’il de plait, donne-moi la crème et le sucre,” Andrew requested of Luna as he gestured to the cream and sugar with a smug grin.

Luna gave him an unimpressed look before Luche grabbed the cream and sugar and passed them to Andrew.

“I didn’t ask you,” Andrew frowned.

“Do you want them or not?” Luche leveled as he kept the creamer in his hand, out of Andrew’s reach.

“Fine,” Andrew drolled, taking the creamer from Luche.

They all slowly began to eat again before Andrew opened his mouth and said something else. Luche and Craig both choked on their food, nearly spitting out their mouthful’s of food as Luna glared at Andrew before she flipped the knife in her hand into a stabbing grip before Luche grabbed her wrist and pinned it to the table to keep her from actually stabbing Andrew at the dining room table. It happened so fast that even Nyx couldn’t react fast enough. Andrew sardonically laughed at her instantly and it took every ounce of self control that Craig, Luche, Nyx and Luna had not to beat the living daylights out of him.

“Let’s eat at the breakfast bar,” Craig quickly suggested as he got his and Luche’s plate and got up and walked to the breakfast bar which in the kitchen, gratefully only accommodated four. Craig put his plate in the first spot with Luche next to him leaving the last two spots on for Luna and Nyx.

Nyx grabbed Luna’s plate along with his own as Luche escorted Luna away from the dining room table and over to the breakfast bar. Luche kept a firm hold on her upper arms as he moved her. Ravus watched on from the other end of the very long table, confused and curious as to what just transpired but he was in the middle of a conversation with his other friends and couldn’t walk away.

“Don’t, don’t answer him,” Luche coached Luna. “Stay here, I’ll get our drinks,” Luche said as he got Luna to sit in the third spot on the breakfast bar before he left Luna with Nyx as he and Craig returned to the table to get their drinks, both of them glaring at Andrew as they did so before Andrew moved closer to the rest of Ravus’ other friends who also subtly glared at him. Only putting up with Andrew’s bull shit because of who Andrew was and could do for them when he was feeling generous but they also feared what he could do to them if he felt like lashing out at any of them if they dared retaliate against him for his behavior.

“What did he say?” Nyx asked Luna who was doing her best to remain composed. Her cheeks, neck and chest were flushed with embarrassment and anger. She looked over the kitchen to see Marie no where in sight. But figured it was probably for the best that Marie was not there to hear it. Knowing Marie would have gone to war.

“He...” Luna breathed out shakily as she looked down to see Nyx holding both of her hands within his own. “You know what? It doesn’t matter.” Luna shook her head.

“Luna, please tell me what the piece of shit said,” Nyx invited as he craned his head down to try to look at her in the eye.

Luna took another deep shaky breath as she kept her gaze on their hands. “He said that ‘he assumed that you never got me to orgasm considering how quiet things were from my end of the house, and offered to give me a refresher course but only if I got down on my knees and begged like a bitch in heat and if I would stop eating like god damned pig.’” Luna paraphrased as she grimaced.

“He said what?” Nyx asked, shocked then appalled by Andrew’s audacity as his hands dropped form hers and suddenly fisted.

“No, no, don’t,” Luna urged as she placed her hands over Nyx’s fists before she framed his face with her hands. “Nyx, don’t,” Luna repeated, forcing him to look at her. “He’s not worth it.” Luna insisted.

“He needs his ass beat.” Nyx argued.

“And he will get his ass beat, when he’s not at my house and there’s not so many witnesses.” Luna replied calmly.

“You were ready to stab him a minute ago.” Nyx countered.

“I was, thankfully Luche stopped me,” Luna admitted, rubbing the apples of his cheeks with her thumbs before Luche and Craig returned and Luna dropped her hands.

“Thank you guys,” Luna thanked Luche and Craig.

“He’s an asshole.” Luche said as he handed her- her orange juice before reaching out and rubbing a soothing circle into her back.

“Grade A,” Luna agreed.

“That was uncalled for, you should have spoken up and made a scene,” Craig insisted as he sat down at the breakfast bar and prayed the stool was strong enough to hold him.

“And embarrassed his royal highness in the middle of a hangover and in front of the rest of his friends?” Luna questioned.

“Yeah because you had Luche and me right there to repeat exactly what he said if he tried to play it off. You shouldn’t put up with him just for Ravus’ sake.” Craig explained firmly as he and Luna both leaned forward to see each other.

“Why would your brother be friends with a dick like Andrew?” Nyx asked Luna as he reached out and picked Luche’s hand off of Luna’s back and gave Luche an unimpressed look behind Luna’s back before putting his own hand on her back and tried not to grin smugly when he felt her relax under his touch.

‘Mine.’ Nyx mouthed to Luche before focusing back on Luna for her answer to his question.

“Ravus wants to get into politics when he’s not running a hospital.” Luna answered as she turned and tried to continue to eat even though she had just lost her appetite but then out of spite for Andrew she found it again and began to eat again.

“Ok…?” Nyx asked, not following.

“You know our state senator? Ardyn Izunia? That’s his dad, Andrew is Ardyn’s son. So that’s Andrew Izunia.” Luche explained.

“You mean the guy who’s constantly in the news because of one or multiple scandals?” Nyx deadpanned to which he received nods from Luna, Luche and Craig.

Nyx clenched his jaw and shook his head as he stared down at his plate, trying to stomach another bite. “Your peace of mind and safety are worth more than anything else.” Nyx stated resolutely to Luna.

“I second that.” Luche added.

“I third that.” Craig insisted.

“Aw, thanks guys.” Luna smiled. “Well I guess I can’t complain too much as long as I have you three around to guard me from the evil one.” Luna joked. “Speaking of which, how late are you guys planning on staying?” Luna asked as an afterthought.

“I have to work here in a few hours.” Craig answered honestly, wishing he could stay all day with her.

“I can stay as late as I need to.” Luche informed her proudly.

“Same,” Nyx mirrored and Luna lit up the brightest at that. Oh thank God, she would be protected, she’d be safe.

“Awesome, do either of you know how late Andrew is staying?” Luna asked Luche and Craig but they both shook their heads no. “Damn it,” Luna muttered as she hung her head in defeat.

“Wait, don’t you have the kids on Wednesday?” Craig recalled hopefully.

“Yeah but Ravus won’t want to rehearse until tomorrow or Tuesday,” Luna answered.

“But you learned that new song for them right? Just say you need extra practice.” Craig suggested.

“Kids?” Luche asked as he looked between Luna and Craig curiously.

“On Wednesdays, Ravus and I visit the children’s ward of the hospital, I bring my keyboard, Ravus brings his violin and we put on a little show for them, it’s super cute.” Luna explained as Luche and Nyx both inwardly swooned at that. Luna’s sweetness just didn’t know any bounds did it?

“Oh, have Noctis and his friends join you, they aspire to be a rock band right?” Craig offered.

Nyx and Luche snorted a laugh at that.

“What, they can’t play?” Craig asked them as Luna looked at both Luche and Nyx with a frown, knowing Noctis and his friends could actually play really well.

“Uh, well, Noctis plays guitar so kind of and Prompto plays drums and I think a keyboard, maybe guitar. Ignis plays the cello tho, I have no idea what Gladio would do other than sing, well, maybe drums too.” Luche explained.

“Off key,” Nyx laughed.

“You know, that’s not a bad idea. Actually Nyx, you could do your magic tricks, I’m sure the kids would love that.” Luna suggested to which Luche snickered again.

“Shut up,” Nyx told Luche. “Yeah, sounds fun,” Nyx smiled to Luna.

“Awesome, well just keep in mind that most of these kids are burn victim patients or cancer patients so you just have to be really careful with what you say and don’t stare. Oh and you’ll have to clean and sanitize whatever you bring in because these kids need a sterile environment.” Luna stressed.

“Oh, actually with that many people you guys could play Who’s Line,” Craig suggested.

“Ooh! That would be so fun!” Luna cheered. “I should probably tell Ravus, though, I’ll wait until he’s ‘recovered’.”

“I’m game,” Nyx grinned.

“Who’s game for volleyball?!” Another of Ravus’ friends, Daniel crooned loudly as he came through the kitchen to put his dishes in the sink. “You guys brought your trunks right?” He asked Craig, Luche and Nyx. Luche and Craig nodded yes but Nyx simply looked to Luna to provide the answer.

“Water volleyball,” Luna clarified. “If you want to play, I have spare trunks you can borrow.” Luna offered.

“Will you play?” Nyx asked curiously.

“No, they play too rough, I have a performance on Saturday, the last thing I need is a black eye or a broken nose. But I’ll hang out, referee if need be.” Luna encouraged.

“Ok,” Nyx nodded.

“Yes!” Daniel bellowed. “Got three more players! And a referee!” He called out to the rest of Ravus’ friends.

“I’ll go and find those spare trunks for you,” Luna said to Nyx as she finished eating and placed her dish in the sink and walked away toward her room where she kept spare swim trunks for Noctis and his friends.

“Guys,” Craig whispered to Luche and Nyx. Nyx moved to Luna’s seat so he could hear Craig better.

“Look I promised Luna I wouldn’t say anything but you guys have to believe and trust me that Andrew is the worst kind of motherfucker and Luna gets really bad panic attacks because of the shit he’s done to her and it won’t take much for her to tailspin ok?” Craig whispered.

“Like what? What did he do to her?” Nyx asked.

“I promised her I wouldn’t tell, so she’ll have to tell you herself if and when she ever does.” Craig repeated.

“Could you give us a hint?” Luche asked.

“Ok, you guys know Fifty Shades of Grey? Andrew is very much like Christian Grey and that book is his Bible. If you ask me, Luna needs a restraining order.” Craig revealed. “Also, note which car Andrew drives and notice if it seems familiar at all.” Craig added quickly before Ravus and the rest of his friends came into the kitchen.

“Where’s my sister?” Ravus asked as he came into the kitchen.

Craig, Luche and Nyx immediately looked up to see Andrew in the kitchen as well, quelling their fear that he had snuck off to corner Luna again.

“Getting her boyfriend swim trunks.” Craig answered.

“Boyfriend?” Ravus repeated with a confused frown before looking at Luche hopefully as a small smile started to grow at the pleasing thought. But Luche pointed to Nyx. Ravus’ face immediately fell and looked at Nyx disapprovingly before he turned on his heel and quickly walked towards Luna’s room as the rest of his friends stared at Nyx in disbelief.

“Lunafreya,” Ravus called out.

“Yes?” Luna answered as she came out of her room at the sound of her brother calling out her name.

“You and I need to talk,” Ravus insisted seriously.

“Yes we do, but perhaps it should wait until we no longer have company.” Luna agreed as she looked past him to see if they were alone or not.

“Are you really dating Nyx Ulric?” Ravus whispered questioningly as he crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a disbelieving and disapproving look. Luna opened then closed her mouth before she noticed Nyx at the end of the hall, standing awkwardly, trying to give her space and privacy to talk with her brother.

“We can talk about this later, when everyone goes home.” Luna rephrased in a whisper. “Now, go be a good host to your company and I’ll take care of mine.” Luna urged, shooing him away.

Ravus narrowed his eyes for a moment before turning and walking toward the kitchen again. Ravus and Nyx shared a look as Ravus passed him before Nyx walked back to Luna.

“Everything still ok?” Nyx asked worriedly.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it, you’re doing great,” Luna smiled as she invited him back into her room as she went through her dresser to find those spare trunks she kept for Noctis and his friends. “Aha! Found you!” Luna cheered as she pulled them from the bottom drawer of her other dresser and draped them over her arm.

“Ok, these are Gladio’s.” Luna specified as she held them up.

“Those will fall right off,” Nyx chuckled.

‘I wouldn’t complain,’ Luna thought to herself as she tried to suppress her grin by biting her lips before she draped them over her other arm. “Right, and these are Prompto’s.” Luna held them up.

“Very colorful,” Nyx nodded but winced. God he really didn’t want to wear them.

“Like his personality,” Luna shrugged before draping them over the other arm and held up the remaining two. “The black ones are Noctis’ and the gray ones are Ignis’.” Luna specified. “They both should fit you.” Luna concluded, looking from the waist band of both and looking to Nyx’s waist for reference before her gaze fell to Nyx’s crotch before she snapped her gaze back to the trunks before she walked toward him.

“Take your pick.” Luna handed them both to Nyx before he went to her bathroom to try them on. Once the bathroom door closed, Luna’s eyes went wide as she rubbed her hands over her face. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you? Come on Luna, quit trying to figure out how big his dick is you pervert.’ Luna mouthed to herself as she put Gladio’s and Prompto’s swim trunks away before she found her collection of bathing suits and tried to decide which she should wear.

“How do I look?” Nyx asked once he emerged.

Luna’s jaw dropped slightly at the sight of him before she closed her mouth and swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. “You look great,” Luna nodded in approval.

Nyx couldn’t help but grin, she was checking him out and was even getting flustered as she did so. Also he may have been flexing a bit. Ok a lot. Luna tore her gaze from him and tried to focus on the task at hand. She simply grabbed all of her bathing suits and walked past Nyx to change into the bathroom saying a small ‘excuse me’ as she passed him.

Nyx picked up the art book and sat down on her bed as he waited for her choose before his phone went off, it was a text from Selena, asking how things were going.

‘Going ok so far, trying not to kill Luna’s ex.’ Nyx huffed through his nose.

‘what did he do?’ Selena asked.

“No,” Luna said to herself from the bathroom as she tried on her first choice. Nyx glanced up from his phone up to the bathroom door. Waiting to see if she would emerge, but she didn’t.

‘Last night he cornered her but he keeps talking to her in french, I have no idea what he’s saying but he’s making her uncomfortable and its pissing me off. And Ravus is fucking useless.’ Nyx ranted.

‘Does he not see what’s going on? Or is he ignoring what’s going on?’ Selena clarified.

‘He has to be blind to NOT see it’ Nyx replied. ‘Again, if ANYONE ever makes you uncomfortable, let me know and I’ll bury their ass in a hill.’ Nyx offered.

‘I know. So how is the charade going?’ Selena asked.

“How do I look?” Luna asked as the bathroom door opened up to reveal Luna in a lovely white bathing suit that had the smallest black polka dots. It was adorable. “Too old fashioned? Too old fashioned.” Luna concluded before Nyx could even answer and had quickly closed the bathroom door shut.

‘Going ok I guess. Luche knows and helped out a lot last night, stayed with her and protected her before I came. Her brother and his friend Craig aren’t buying it. Andrew does tho, that’s all that matters.’ Nyx estimated.

‘That’s because Luche’s awesome, when he’s not competing with you for the same girl. Lol. But thank you for doing this tho. I know Luna must really appreciate it. Of course you could always make the charade real ;);)’ Selena texted back.

“Ok, so how do I look?” Luna asked as she opened the door again wearing a bathing suit that was a cross between a bikini and a one piece. However, with all the cut outs and the huge plunge in the center going all the way past her belly button, it was so fucking sexy. And it was black which matched his swim trunks.

“Sexy,” Nyx blurted.

“Really? Yes, that’s what I was going for.” Luna beamed before she turned to get her bathrobe out. Nyx got an eyeful of her sweet ass and felt the blood rush to his cock and quickly adjusted himself so that it wasn’t obvious. Luna put on a white mesh cover up and then her bathrobe in the bathroom before getting Nyx a towel.

“Shall we?” Luna invited as she slipped her cell phone into her bathrobe pocket.

‘TTYL sis.’ Nyx typed quickly to his sister after he took the towel that was offered him and held it in front of him as they walked to the pool that was in the basement.

“So who were you texting?” Luna asked. “If that’s not too nosy of me.” Luna corrected.

“Selena, she wanted to make sure you were ok.” Nyx answered.

“Aww, she’s so sweet, I love her. Do you know if she likes getting her nails done? Like mani pedi?” Luna posed.

“Uh, sure?” Nyx shrugged.

Luna hummed happily as she got her phone out and texted Selena herself.

‘Hey Beautiful,’ Luna texted Selena.

‘Hey Gorgeous, is Nyx behaving for you?’ Selena texted back.

‘PERFECT GENTLEMAN, your parents deserve a medal.’ Luna answered with a happy smile. ‘Hey, do you have plans Friday afternoon?’ Luna asked.

‘Just the game on Friday night.’ Selena answered.

‘Could I treat you to a mani pedi?’ Luna inquired.

‘YES!’ Selena agreed.

‘Sweet, just ride with me Friday after school,’ Luna suggested. ‘I gotta go, volleyball games don’t referee themselves. TTYL LOVE YOU.’

‘LOVE YOU TOO.’ Selena squealed happily before she and her parents walked into their church for morning worship.

Once down in the basement, they walked past a sauna to the pool room. It was right out of a magazine with a black ceiling studded with lights and mural-led to look like a galaxy that glowed in the dark. The mosaic tiles of the pool itself glimmered like jewels. It was spectacular. Ravus was setting up the volleyball net as his friends hung out and swam around.

Luna took off her robe on one of the lounge chairs and Nyx put his towel with it before Luna stepped into the pool and swam over to Ravus.

“Need some help?” Luna asked. Trying to at least be helpful and that if she was busy doing something, it would help take her mind of how all of Ravus’ friends kept looking longingly at her. Andrew being the worst, but his wasn’t so much longing as it was determined. Which truth be told was the worst because Luna knew that once Andrew fixated on something, fixated on her. He was liable to do anything to get what he wanted.

“Sure,” Ravus nodded, grateful to get some help.

Nyx walked into the warm water, expecting it to be colder than it was.

“This is nice,” Nyx commented to Luche who was hanging out in the shallows and had waded over to Nyx.

“This place is a palace.” Luche murmured quietly.

“You should feel right at home.” Nyx quipped sarcastically as he grinned as they sat against the side of the pool.

“I do.” Luche nodded in agreement with a huff of a laugh. Nyx snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes.

“So, were my eyes lying to me or are there no love marks on her?” Luche prodded. Nyx gave him a long sideways glance. “Hey, I’m just saying, given the circumstances, you should of marked your territory.” Luche muttered quietly. “Kind of goes to show that she isn’t yours after all.” Luche said under his breath but Nyx had caught it.

“She hasn’t asked me to do any of that.” Nyx clarified.

“I would have thought that would have been implied.” Luche furthered. “If she had asked me, there would have been no doubt she was mine.” Luche insisted and Nyx felt jealous bile rise into his throat.

“And yet she didn’t ask you did she?” Nyx retorted with a victorious grin.

“And yet you are wasting a perfectly good opportunity.” Luche quipped before he noticed the scratch marks still on Nyx’s back.

“Now hold on a minute,” Luche said as he grabbed Nyx’s shoulder to get a better view of his back. Nyx had almost forgotten about it.

“When did you get these?” Luche asked.

“She may have given me a massage and scratched my back in bed before breakfast.” Nyx bragged with a victorious grin.

“You lucky mother fucker.” Luche bit out under his breath. “You’re going to have to tell me all about it later.” Luche commanded.

“No way,” Nyx shook his head, unable to wipe the cocky grin off his face before he looked up to see Luna standing defiantly in front of Andrew even though it was clear he was trying to cage her in with his frame again. Luna was saying something so quietly, no one could quite hear her but the determined glare in her eyes and the way she had her hands on her hips showed through her body language that she wasn’t intimidated.

“Shit,” Nyx cursed under his breath as he and Luche noticed the interaction and moved quickly to intervene. But before they got close enough to hear, Andrew moved away from Luna and dove under the water to get on the other side of the net. Luna watched him go before she turned to face the wall and tried to hop up to the side but didn’t jump hard enough.

“Need some help?” Nyx asked.

“Yes,” Luna admitted as she turned around. Nyx put his hands on her upper waist and lifted her out of the water and gently set her down on the side. Nyx’s hands ghosted down her legs as he pulled away and it took ever ounce of self control for Luna not to spread them in invitation because the feeling of his hands on her was just that damn amazing!

“Thank you,” Luna breathed, as her cheeks started to stain rose before she moved to center herself with the net.

“25?” Luna guessed to which she received nods as she tossed the volleyball from hand to hand with practiced ease. “Because I doubt anyone has a coin, I’m going to guess a number between 1 and 10.” Luna offered.

“Seven,” Ravus guessed from one team.

“Three,” Craig guessed from the other.

Luna laughed. “The number was five, ok, lets try that again.” Luna said as she thought of a new number.

“Nine.” Ravus guessed from next to Andrew.

“Two.” Craig guessed who was beside Nyx and Luche.

“Eight,” Luna answered and tossed the ball to Ravus.

Luna kept her feet dangling in the water as she kept score for them. Until Andrew cycled right next to her. Luna instinctively pulled her legs out of the water and sat cross legged, making sure her cover up pooled between her legs. She did her best to ignore the leer he gave her as she did her best to remain fair when it came to refereeing the game. Thankfully Nyx had positioned himself to play opposite Andrew so Luna wouldn’t feel too vulnerable.

When Ravus’ team finally hit 25 points, Luna was grateful someone had won so she could stop and finally get in the water herself.

“What time is it?” Craig asked as Luna stood and stretched, her cover up rising up as she did so as Ravus’ friends stared, trying to figure out what she was wearing underneath it as Ravus obliviously took down the net.

“Almost noon.” Luna answered as she went over to her bathrobe and fished out her phone to look at the time.

“Ok,” Craig nodded as he swam over to the steps to get out of the pool.

“Gotta work?” Luna guessed sadly.

“Yeah.” Craig nodded.

“Me too.” Andrew admitted as he came over and got out of the pool too. Luna did her best not to jump for joy that he was leaving. Once Craig and Andrew left Luna pulled her cover up off. All of Ravus’ friends along with Luche and Nyx tried and failed to not gawk at her as she tossed her cover up at the foot of the lounge chair and ran towards the deep end, doing a canon ball. Then everyone got back out of the pool to jump in, competing to see who could make the biggest splash, the most flips and somersaults or the cleanest dive off the diving board. Luna of course getting very biased scores, mostly because she was 1. The only girl. 2. Very hot. 3. Every guy but Ravus and Nyx just wanted to see her body in action 4. EVERYONE but Ravus having a crush on her.

Nyx could feel his jealousy continue to lick up his spine but the looks of jealousy he got from all of Ravus’ friends, including Luche kind of made it worth it especially when Luna would practically hang all over him and be generally affectionate with him, sweet talking and cooing to him like any other girlfriend would with her boyfriend and coming off as completely genuine because her feelings for him were genuine in turn and for her, this wasn’t really acting, this was her. While Nyx mirrored her and her actions. For him this wasn’t really acting either. He treated her the way he would treat her if they were actually going out, with respect and reverence and gentle sweetness.

All of Ravus’ friends inwardly kicked themselves that they had missed their window of opportunity to bag her themselves because they had all been too afraid of what Andrew might do to them if they had tried to date her, knowing full well that Andrew still harbored feelings for Luna while they waited for Andrew to move onto a new flavor of the month so that he wouldn’t get too angry if Luna had moved on too. Especially with one of them.

They swam around for a while before Luna retreated to the hot tub, Nyx followed closely behind. Not letting her get any farther than an arms reach away from him when they were both in and out of the water.

Luna sighed happily as she settled into the hot bubbling waters, letting a smile grace her lips and a happy hum escape her throat. “Mmm, much better.” Luna murmured as she set her head on the head rest and let the jets massage her back.

“Oh yeah,” Nyx groaned in pleasure as he settled in himself.

“Thank you again for coming over and doing all of this, protecting me all day,” Luna said quietly and softly so that no one but Nyx could hear her.

“No problem.” Nyx shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips as he stretched his arms out and laid them on the back of the head rests behind Luna’s head as he sat next to her in the hot tub, grateful that the frothy water could hide his erection because he just couldn’t stop reacting to her. He swore she was swaying her hips when she walked, and the cut of that bathing suit, made her sweet ass and gorgeous body look even more amazing. Luna shifted to let the jets pummel one particular spot as she grimaced slightly.

“Got a knot?” Nyx guessed.

“Yes, it’s between my shoulder blades, on the right...” Luna answered before Nyx grabbed her shoulders and started rubbing.

“Oh dear sweet baby Jesus,” Luna moaned and moved to sit between his legs and enjoy his hands massaging her, even if it was a bit rough and haphazard. Nyx chuckled softly as he continued to try repay her kindness.

“Maybe not so hard?” Luna squeaked when he squeezed just a little too hard.

“Sorry,” Nyx apologized before he lightened up on his touch.

“You’re doing great though.” Luna encouraged. “Just need more practice, wink wink.” Luna flirted.

“Did you just say wink wink?” Nyx laughed.

“Yes, I know it’s corny.” Luna rolled her eyes and shook her head before Nyx started to rub her neck before returning his attention to her shoulders before squeezing down her arms.

“Practice does make perfect though.” Nyx rumbled lowly, leaning forward to talk in her ear. Luna shivered at the sound of his deep, slightly gravely voice. God to hear him talk like that into the shell of her ear only fueled her fantasies of him taking her from behind and talking dirty to her. Luna bit her lip as she tried to think of something sexy to reply with.

“It does.” Luna agreed. “Although, I’d be incredibly interested in seeing what you would be capable of with perhaps some private lessons? Imagine the improvement inevitable with one on one attention.” Luna said coyly over her shoulder with a wink, giving him the most sultry look she could muster. If that didn’t get him to ask her out for real, she wasn’t sure what else would. She was being open, she was being flirtatious, she was being affectionate, she knew he was confident, so why was he holding back?

‘Ask her out!’ Nyx’s heart screamed at him he opened his mouth because this was the best opportunity yet and he was going to ask her out for real right now. But movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Luche was walking toward them.

“Room for one more in there?” Luche asked with a charming smile, breaking the bubble the two had put themselves in.

“Of course,” Luna answered as she faced forward once more, smiling back politely at him in response.

“I get your feet.” Luche said as he got in the water and hooked her leg with his own to bring it into his lap. The motion caused her to slip off the seat and float on her back in the middle of the hot tub. Luna was a little shocked at the gesture but she wasn’t about to say no to the offer. Maybe Nyx just needed a little serious competition? She closed her eyes and floated because this was an outright fantasy, She did not care in the slightest that she was getting ogled by Luche because Nyx had a much better view, she just hoped Nyx was enjoying it.

“I don’t know what stars have aligned or what gods I have pleased in a past life or what I’ve done to deserve any of this, but thank you guys so so so much, this feels amazing.” Luna praised.

“Well you’ve had a taxing day dealing with Andrew, you deserve some pampering Princess.” Luche soothed.

Luna’s eyebrows knit together as a small frown formed on her face at the term but only for a fraction of a second before her face returned to one of serenity. “Easy tho Luche, my feet are ticklish.” Luna warned.

“Oh you mean like this?” Luche laughed as he held fast to her ankle and tickled the sole of her foot.

“Stop,” Luna squealed before trying to free her foot from his hold. “You jerk.” Luna laughed, kicking him softly in the chest and lifting her head to mock glare at him. “No tickling, only rubbing, if you can’t do that I’m taking my feet back.” Luna tisked as she wagged her finger at him like she was scolding him.

“Ok, ok, I just wanted to help you feel better.” Luche conceded.

“Aw, aren’t you sweet,” Luna cooed as she laid back down in the water and closed her eyes. “A girl could get used to this.” Luna sighed happily as she let herself continue to float in the water.

‘What the fuck?!’ Nyx mouthed to Luche angrily as the two continued to glare at each other when Luna had her eyes closed.

‘I gave you time, you had your chance!’ Luche mouthed back. Nyx clenched his jaw and opened his mouth to retort but Luche cut him off.

“You know,” Luche began smoothly as he began to talk to Luna again.

“Hmm?” Luna hummed, her eyes still remaining closed.

“I thought with Nyx pretending to be your boyfriend. I thought you would have come to breakfast with a few love bites to help sell the cover. Or at least I would have offered to do that for you so that bastard wouldn’t have had anything to say this morning.” Luche pointed out.

Nyx’s jaw dropped as he glared even harder at Luche. ‘Shut up!’ Nyx mouthed to Luche since Luna’s eyes were still closed.

“Hmm,” Luna hummed, her brows knitting together as she thought it over before a wicked scheming grin flashed on her lips and she pulled her feet away from Luche so she could squat in the middle of the pool before she leaned back into Nyx while she reached back in the water, and grabbed Nyx’s knees, spreading his legs wide to make room for her and pulled herself back until her back was flush against him, pinning his erection between her back and his abdomen, she grinned evilly when she felt it, concluding that she had to be reason for it’s existence. Nyx’s hands fell away from her shoulders, instinctively grabbing her waist and held her close before she raked her hands up this thighs, her nails digging into his thighs deliciously. She gripped his upper thighs and slid up his chest until her head rested on his shoulder, wiggling her butt slightly so as to grind it against his erection. She leaned her head back and gave Nyx a love bite on his neck before giving Nyx a sweet kiss on his cheek.

Luche stared in disbelieving awe as Nyx’s eyes nearly popped out of his head before they closed tight at the feeling of her body against his like that. It took no time at all for Nyx to reciprocate and plant a love bite himself at the crux of her neck and shoulder as his arms wrapped around her. Luna couldn’t suppress the giggle that fell from her smiling mouth as she felt his stubble rub against her skin. But her beaming smile shamed the sun. Nyx kissed her on the cheek in turn before he smiled smugly at Luche. Luna made her choice, she chose him.

“Good idea Luche.” Luna smiled victoriously at Luche as she moved to sit next to Nyx again, stealing into his side once more as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Luche looked from Luna to Nyx, his own cheeks staining at the display before he cleared his throat. “Ok then,” Luche mumbled.

“I think we should date for real now.” Luna suggest to Nyx as she angled herself towards Nyx, placing a hand on his chest and letting it trail down his chiseled chest and abs before trailing her pointer finger back up to his jaw, guiding his face to hers sealing the deal with a soft but earnest kiss all the same.

“Definitely.” Nyx whispered huskily, as he leaned down and kissed her again. Neither being able to fight their smiles as they shared another kiss.

“Guys!” Ravus called out to the trio as he got out of the pool and walked over to them.

“Yeah?” They answered as Luna turned toward her brother.

“What do you guys want for lunch?” Ravus asked.

“Don’t care, we could order pizza or take out or if we ask Nana really nicely, she could fry some chicken or even do chicken fried steak with that gravy that clogs one’s arteries ever so well.” Luna listed off as she licked her lips hungrily.

“Ooh, yeah, you go ask her, she won’t say no to you.” Ravus returned.

“These are your friends, you ask.” Luna pointed out.

“Come on. Please, pretty please Lunafreya.” Ravus begged as he held up his interlocked hands.

“Fine,” Luna agreed as she pulled away from Nyx and got out of the hot tub, Ravus lending her his hand so she didn’t slip before she walked back over to where her bathrobe was and pulled it on before she left to make her request to Marie as Ravus jumped back in the pool with the rest of his friends.

Once she was gone Luche splashed Nyx spitefully. “You god damn lucky mother fucker,” Luche bit out in an angry growl.

Nyx laughed at his friend’s outburst. “What can I say? She chose me, I just made myself available. Jesus fucking Christ is she hot.” Nyx admitted as he rubbed his face.

“You’ve probably been nursing a boner most of the day. Your poor brain.” Luche sarcastically teased.

“Like you haven’t? Like any guy, but Ravus hasn’t? I thought they were all going to shank me in the pool when Luna’s back was turned.” Nyx quipped.

“Dude, I thought I was gonna bust a nut when she took that one thing off.” Luche admitted.

“Dude, I almost busted a nut before we ever came down here, she spent who knows how long in her bathroom, damn near tried on every bathing suit she owned.” Nyx retorted.

“Oh poor Nyx, your super hot Swedish model girlfriend tried on bathing suits, that must have been such a torturous chore.” Luche mocked as he rolled his eyes.

“Is she Swedish?” Nyx asked.

“Yeah, Swedish and French, mom’s Swedish, Dad’s French.” Luche informed him.

“Huh, lucky me.” Nyx grinned.

“You make me sick.” Luche sneered sarcastically.

“Maybe she has really hot cousins and friends she could hook you up with.” Nyx offered.

“True,” Luche consented.

“Ravus,” Luna called out once she reappeared.

“Yeah?” Ravus answered.

“She said yes, give her an hour or so.” Luna informed him before she turned toward Nyx and Luche who were still soaking in the hot tub. “Guys wanna check out the sauna?” Luna offered happily. “Or do you two need a minute?” Luna asked, narrowing her eyes slightly, a mischievous grin on her lips.

“I’m game,” Nyx nodded.

“Sure,” Luche nodded.

“I’ll go get your towels and your phones.” Luna offered as she left and got them their things.

Nyx and Luche emerged from the hot tub and put the towels around their waist and followed Luna to the sauna.

Luna stopped and put her phone in one of the protective sleeves that was on a shelf along with some towels before offering them to Luche and Nyx. “The steam can fry phones. Better safe than sorry.” Luna explained before she opened the sauna door and stepped inside before punching into the panel the temperature she wanted the sauna to be set at.

Nyx and Luche followed her lead and put their phone in the protective sleeves before they went inside.

“There’s a spout for drinking water here if you’d like.” Luna offered as she took one of the paper cups and filled it with ice cold filtered water and drank it before refilling the cup. “Do you guys mind if I add an essential oil mix to the sauna water?” She asked.

“Go for it,” Nyx invited and Luche nodded in agreement as they got cups of water and sat down on the lower bench and stretched out.

Luna smiled and stepped back out and got a small dark glass jar and pulled out an eyedropper and dropped two drops into the ladle of water before she doused the hot rocks with it.

“Smells good,” Luche complimented as he and Nyx took deep breaths in.

“Good, it’s an immune system boost blend, because I have that performance on Saturday, I cant afford to get sick this week.” Luna explained before she took a seat between them, shrugging her robe off as she leaned back and stretched out herself.

“Oh and that reminds me,” Luna reminded herself. “I won’t be able to come to the game on Friday, I have dress rehearsals Friday night.” Luna informed them sadly.

“Don’t worry about it.” Nyx shook his head.

“Ravus said you got the lead,” Luche recalled.

“Yeah and he got a solo,” Luna reminded Luche.

“Wait, Ravus does ballet?” Nyx asked.

“No,” Luna laughed. “Oh god no, no, he plays violin for the orchestra, he has the violin solo.” Luna explained.

“Your mom must be proud.” Nyx ventured.

“Oh she is, she’ll brag and boast about it until she’s blue in the face if you let her.” Luna nodded in agreement with a chuckle.

“I’m sure it’s well deserved.” Luche assured her, well just because she didn’t choose him in that moment didn’t mean he should stop being nice to her, who knows what could happen between them in the future? Nyx could still mess up really bad and he could be still be there for her. Or at the very least, he could be her friend too.

“It’s favoritism is what it is. Brianna or even Richelle, some of the other dancers should have gotten the lead. And Aranea Highwind, who could play Ravus under a table should have gotten his solo but the directors I think took one look at our last name and boom, solos.” Luna huffed.

“Did you try to turn it down?” Nyx asked.

“Yes, on more than one occasion, but my director wouldn’t hear of it. So I’ve been busting my ass to at least be worthy of the spot light. Ravus I think is in the same boat, he’s been practicing until his fingers are almost to the point of bleeding.” Luna revealed. “That’s probably why he had everyone over this weekend, last chance for fun, the closer we get to Saturday, the more tightly wound he’ll get.” Luna grimaced.

“What about you? Won’t you get nervous?” Luche asked.

“Oh yeah, but I deal with mine differently, where Ravus just gets irritable and grumpy. I have my breathing exercises, meditation, art and stuff.” Luna explained with a mischievous grin. Lots of orgasms via vibrator’s were usually her main outlet.

“Oh you’re an artist?” Luche asked.

“I try, I work in watercolors mostly.” Luna nodded.

“She’s really good.” Nyx complimented. Luna smiled bashfully in response before her phone buzzed. Her eyes widened and she bit her lips but couldn’t suppress her giddy smile or her giggle.

“Who are texting?” Luche asked.

“Noctis.” Luna answered as she typed a quick response.

“See I heard a rumor that you two were dating.” Luche recalled.

“Oh god no, no, he’s like another brother to me, we’ve been friends for forever tho. That and it’s kind of hard for him to be my boyfriend when he’s already Ignis’.” Luna answered as she typed a message back to Noctis before looking up to see Nyx and Luche both blinking in surprise at that as their eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Wait, did neither of you know he’s gay? Is he not ‘out’ at school?” Luna asked as she worried that she just outed her best friend. “Fuck,” Luna breathed in horror. Fuck Noctis hadn’t come out at school. And she just outed him. She was mortified. 

“Um, please, please don’t say anything to anyone, I don’t want to ‘out’ him if he’s not already ‘out’.” Luna pleaded. “Our parents are dating though.” Luna revealed and Nyx’s and Luche’s jaws dropped even further. Before it really clicked with Nyx. That would really explain Regis and Luna’s relationship, it really was Father/Daughter.

“What?” Luche asked, completely astounded by this knowledge.

“Wait, you guys didn’t know that either?” Luna asked. “Yeah my mom has been dating your Principal, Regis, for a few months now and they’ve known each other for years. That’s part of the reason why Ravus and I go to your school now. I would have thought Ravus would have done nothing but complain about it to everyone who would listen.” Luna revealed.

“He hasn’t said a word.” Luche informed her.

“Oh, well he doesn’t approve, that’s probably why, he’s in denial.” Luna assumed with a shrug. “So to answer your question, no, Noctis and I would never date, one we aren’t attracted to each other and two, because we just might be step siblings here soon.” Luna clarified before she turned to Nyx. “Also, that may also play into Ravus not liking you. He’s been the “man of the house” for the last five years and when mom started dating Regis, he had a bad reaction to him but Regis is growing on him very little by very little. Just, give Ravus time to get used to you. So if he gives you dirty looks or makes rude comments just ignore them ok?” Luna explained.

“I understand.” Nyx nodded.

“But I should clarify, if Noctis has not said anything about his father’s relationship with my mother, and if Ravus obviously hasn’t, I don’t want to start any rumors myself, so you two need to promise you won’t say anything.” Luna stressed before Ravus came into the sauna himself.

“So here is where you’ve been hiding.” Ravus teased, grateful to find Luche with them so that his sister and her “boyfriend” weren’t actually having sex in the sauna.

“Hey Ravus?” Luna asked sweetly to which she received an expectant look from Ravus. “What would you think about having a few people join us for our thing at the hospital on Wednesday?” Luna carefully worded.

“Who and why?” Ravus asked with a furrowed brow.

“Oh, just Noctis, Ignis, Prompto, Gladio and Nyx.” Luna specified.

Ravus looked suspiciously from Luna to Nyx back to Luna. “Why?” Ravus asked hesitantly.

“Well you and I aren’t the only ones who are musically inclined and we could do some comedy, like a Whose Line kind of thing, I think the kids would get a kick out of it.” Luna explained.

“Could everyone keep it clean?” Ravus inquired giving Luna a pointed look.

“I would take it upon myself to stress in importance of not using any vulgar language and steer clear of any questionable themes.” Luna assured Ravus.

“Sure.” Ravus agreed reluctantly.

“Yes,” Luna hissed happily as her thumbs flew across her phone’s screen. “Oh what about bringing cookies for the kids too?” Luna suggested. “Ignis and I would bake, Prompto would probably decorate.”

“If I can get you guys to make macaroons.” Ravus nodded.

“Of course.” Luna smiled brightly as she continued to type. “Tuesday sound good? We could have like a little rehearsal dinner.” Luna hinted.

“Just clear it with Mother,” Ravus agreed.

“Ok, actually, I should probably do that now, she had just gotten back from her walk when I asked Nana to make lunch, and I’ll get an update on that too while I’m out.” Luna said as she put her robe back on before she bent over to kiss Ravus’ cheek. “Play nice.” Luna whispered to Ravus giving him a meaningful look before she stepped out.

“So,” Ravus leveled as he leaned forward and set his elbows on his knees as he interlaced his fingers giving Nyx a pointed look.

“How long have you been dating my sister?” Ravus asked Nyx pointedly.

“A day.” Nyx answered honestly.

“A day?” Ravus repeated skeptically. “How did that happen?” Ravus asked.

“She just said ‘I think we should go out’ and I agreed.” Nyx paraphrased.

“Sadly, that’s true, I was there,” Luche grumbled as the two shared a meaningful look.

“That doesn’t sound like her.” Ravus shook his head. “I mean you can’t possibly know her that well to actually date her unless you’re just out to bone her.” Ravus accused.

“I can promise you that that is not the case.” Nyx argued.

“Oh really? What’s her favorite color?” Ravus demanded.

“Blues, turquoise and green.” Nyx answered, recalling that most of her artwork in her room was in those colors.

“What’s her favorite book?” Ravus questioned.

“Well, she loves poetry and art, she showed me her favorite art book, it’s about fantasy world building and use of color to get a sense of the place.” Nyx recalled, impressing himself at his recollection.

Luche’s and Ravus’ eye brows rose in surprise at that.

“But I’m still getting to know her.” Nyx added carefully.

“Uh huh,” Ravus answered disbelievingly before the rest of his friends joined them in the sauna as well.

Luna returned not long after.

“Well hi everyone.” She greeted once she opened the door to find it full of Ravus and his friends.

“Um, give Nana another 20 minutes or so lunch and Ravus, mom said yes to Tuesday.” Luna informed them before she turned to leave again.

“Hold up,” Nyx said as he got up and left with her, not knowing how much more scrutiny he could endure from Ravus, his friends and Luche.

“Everything ok?” Luna asked as the two of them walked back upstairs.

“Yeah, just got the first degree from your brother.” Nyx answered.

“Ah, yeah figured he would. What did he ask?” Luna inquired over her shoulder.

“What your favorite color was and what your favorite book was.” Nyx returned.

“What did you say?” Luna asked.

“Blues and turquoise and greens for the color thing because that’s what a lot of your art in your room had and I told him about the art book you let me look at.” Nyx answered.

“Very resourceful, you’re right about the color thing, I don’t really have one particular favorite color, just blue and green and all the shades of both and in between the two. I don’t have a favorite book, a have a collection of favorite books and that one was part of it so good job.” Luna praised.

“He also asked how long we’ve been dating.” Nyx murmured to which Luna gave a questioning look. “I told him a day.” Nyx informed her.

“Well, that isn’t a lie and you’re not wrong, so good job on that too.” Luna allowed as she snaked her arm around his waist as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders once more, the two of them falling into synchronized steps as they walked back toward her room.

“Did he say anything about that mark I gave you?” Luna asked carefully.

“I don’t think he noticed.” Nyx concluded.

“Oh I think he did, I just think he didn’t say anything yet. Sorry if I crossed any boundaries by doing that when I did by the way.” Luna apologized.

“Oh don’t apologize, that was...amazing.” Nyx blushed and smiled bashfully.

“Good.” Luna blew out a breath of relief. “If I’m being honest, I had actually thought about that last night but I didn’t say anything because I was already asking so much of you and I didn’t want to push you to do something you weren’t comfortable or ready to do yet.” Luna explained quietly as they went inside her room.

“Well it was pretty awesome the way it played out.” Nyx grinned mischievously.

“Yeah, Luche’s been quite...” Luna trailed off as she struggled to find the right word. “Libidinous.” Luna finally settled.

Nyx knitted his eyebrows, unfamiliar with the word and quickly looked it up on his phone as Luna went through her dressers to find what she wanted to change into.

“Has he now?” Nyx laughed.

“He was wasn’t he?” Luna questioned.

“No that wasn’t me disagreeing with you. That was me being sarcastic. Yeah he was getting a little intense there.” Nyx assured her.

“I know right? I thought he was cream himself in the hot tub just watching us.” Luna joked as she sat down on the floor in front of her dresser and had pulled out the bottom two drawers, looking for a particular pair of leggings.

Nyx almost doubled over from laughter at that. “Yes he was.” Nyx admitted. “I mean he wasn’t the only one.” Nyx admitted.

“Oh I know,” Luna flirted with a wink and a sultry look over her shoulder as she finally found the leggings she had been digging for.

“Besides, I am not attracted to him, in the slightest.” Luna admitted as she inspected the leggings to make sure they weren’t stained or anything.

“Really?” Nyx asked as he went over and sat next to her.

“Like, he’s cute, he’s actually very handsome and well put together and polished. But I just keep getting the impression that he’s a suck up.” Luna murmured and Nyx laughed again.

“Oh he is, one of the biggest, I’m happy you can see that though.” Nyx assured her.

“Thank you, that makes me feel better. Oh and I should warn you about a few things, just to keep in mind, Andrew was...” Luna began and took a deep breath and turned to face him but couldn’t bring herself to look up at him while Nyx turned to her in turn, looking at her curiously as he did his best to listen carefully. “Very territorial, very possessive and very jealous and our relationship was in no way healthy. He loves power and control and couldn’t enjoy either unless I had neither so I don’t know if you’re naturally any of those things and I probably should have talked to you about this first but it’s still technically really early in the relationship so..at least I’m telling you now, right?” Luna tried to explain. “So what I need you to know and try to understand is that... I’m basically very broken and there may be things that you do or say that will cause me to have knee jerk reactions that may be very extreme and to you will look uncalled for and if that sounds like too much to handle, I understand and we can try to go back to the way things were and call this off if you want.” Luna offered, her voice going softer and softer and more fearful as she prepared herself for Nyx to withdraw as she looked down at her hands that had been wringing themselves the entire time she had been talking.

But to her pleasant surprise, she saw Nyx’s hands reach for hers before he simply held them in his own.

“Hey, look at me,” Nyx requested softly and Luna obliged. “It’s ok. I’ll be here for you. We will cross all of those bridges when we get there. Lets just take this one day at a time.” Nyx proposed and smiled when he saw Luna’s whole being begin to brighten with that statement.

“Ok now I just want to kiss you,” Luna admitted.

“Feel free...” Nyx invited and was rewarded with Luna crashing her lips to his, squeezing her eyes tightly closed as happiness seemed to exude from her. She flung her arms around his neck and opened her mouth to him and kissed him as passionately as she dared. His hands went to her waist then traveled up her sides, leaving burning hot desire in their wake. His hands settled on her face, his palms cupped her face as his fingertips gently dug into her neck and the back of her head as he kissed her back with as much fervor as she was giving. God she was delicious and those little moans and mewls that flowed from her were intoxicating.

“Lunafreya!” Marie called from down the hall.

“Yes Nana?” Luna answered, breaking away from Nyx.

“Five more minutes, last batch in the oil now!” Marie informed her.

“Thanks Nana!” Luna called back before she begrudgingly pulled away from Nyx. “I think we should get dressed.” Luna admitted. “So, pause for now.” Luna giggled. “Damn you’re a great kisser.” Luna praised as she pulled herself to her feet and went to her closet to find the blouse she had wanted to wear.

“Thanks, so are you,” Nyx grinned as he got his clothes out of the bathroom so she could get dressed and have some privacy.

“After you.” Nyx gestured to her.

“And such a gentleman,” Luna cooed crinkling her eyes and nose at him as she went into the bathroom to change.

Nyx looked down to see his erection had returned but instead of being embarrassed be just shrugged as he pulled the borrowed swim trunks off and dropped them into the hamper before getting dressed again. He got his phone out and texted Selena the news.

‘Guess who has a new girlfriend for real.’ Nyx texted Selena.

‘For the love of all that is holy, please tell me it’s you.’ Selena texted back.

‘It is me.’ Nyx admitted with a silent giggle.

‘YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ Selena texted back. ‘FINALLY!!!! Oh shit, she’s texted me too!!!’

Nyx waited until he heard a giggle from Luna who was still in the bathroom before he heard a knock.

“I’m dressed and decent.” Nyx answered.

“So I broke the news that we’re dating to your sister and to say she’s happy for us is an understatement.” Luna giggled before she showed Nyx her phone screen. Nyx chuckled and showed her his screen which was almost an exact duplicate of her own.

“Lunch is ready!” Marie called.

“Coming!” Luna answered before they left her room to join the others for lunch.

[subcutaneous7]

Five Minutes- [Grace/Frankie]- Chapter 3

Thanks for all the love so far! Hope you enjoy this next part (: Full chapter here on A03.

***

Frankie felt like her head was no longer attached to her body. Some days were like that, mostly after a few too many bong rips. But this…this was not that.

Ever since she kissed Grace, or Grace kissed her, or whatever combination of fear and desire conspired to bring their bodies together, she could think of nothing else. This is so not wise, kept telling herself like a hopeless mantra, trying to talk herself out of it, which was ridiculous because she had been fully, deeply in it long before the kiss. She didn’t know exactly when, but it had been a while, and it was too late now to turn back. She’d tried the whole denial thing, and that, like always, blew up in the most spectacularly painful of ways, wounding another person in the process. A very kind person, one whose yams were delicious and whose company made her feel safe and cared for, if not totally excited or inspired.

These were crazy times, and Frankie stuck to her mission of establishing new boundaries with Grace as best she could, given that she now knew what kissing Grace felt like. Frankie wasn’t sure she’d ever been kissed like that, not even by Sol. Not that there was anything wrong with the way he kissed, or their lovemaking. What they had was beautiful, even if her memories of it had been tainted by lies. But their last time together wasn’t the only time it felt forced, polite more than passionate, like something they both felt they should do because that’s what people who loved each other did. They were so young when they met, and it had been fun then, full of laughter and experimentation. But over time it grew into more of a meditation on their commitment, a spiritual exercise rather than true worship of each other’s physical and emotional forms, and truly, Frankie longed for both.

With Grace, ironically, she felt worshipped. Even in the briefest of moments they’d shared so far, Frankie felt more ecstatic, more alive than she had with anyone in years. Grace oozed sexuality. She was full of fire, sometimes too much, playful and eager, at least until her head got too involved. She was soft and firm in all the best places, incredibly sweet and a huge pain in the ass, a gorgeous mess of contradictions. She was also shockingly strong for a woman made of toothpicks, but that was a good thing, because Frankie never felt as unsteady on her feet as she did these days.

It wasn’t just Grace. The stroke had knocked her back more than she was willing to admit. She was recovering slowly but surely, but it was still a process. It certainly made her not want to waste any more time, but that’s exactly what she’d asked Grace for: time. That was the only way she could think to protect herself, even if she knew her heart was already too far gone to put a fence around. Grace and her stupid soft skin and comically chiseled cheekbones had done Frankie in, not to mention the exquisite way she smelled, her persistent nagging, her intense desire to look out for her, or the indescribable bliss and relief she felt just being in Grace’s presence. That was why it hurt so much to not spend every waking moment together lately, but that’s what Frankie needed, and she figured it was about time she took charge of her own needs for once.

“Good morning,” Grace greeted cheerfully as she came downstairs, fully dressed for the day. “What is that?”

“A peanut butter and banana smoothie,” Frankie shared, flinging another scoop into the blender.

“That’s not a smoothie,” Grace debated, smirking as she shook her head. “That’s a liquefied sandwich.”

“Well you don’t have to eat it,” Frankie retorted. “I made eggs too if you want some of those.”

“Thanks, but I’m meeting Robert for breakfast,” she told her, grabbing a bottled water from the fridge.

“Oh. Okay.” Frankie deflated. “That’s sweet, actually, you two spending time together.”

“Never thought you’d see the day, did you?”

“Definitely not,” Frankie smiled. “Not even in one of my vision quests.”

“I’ll be home later though,” Grace stood at a safe distance, perched at the other end of the island. “What about you?”

“Not sure yet,” Frankie sighed. “Coyote asked if I could help him scout some locations for his tiny house. I don’t know how long that will take.”

“Ah, got it,” Grace smiled sweetly, backing away. “I guess I’ll just…see you when I see you then.”

“You will,” Frankie nodded. “I’m never that far.”

Grace looked like she wanted to say more, so much more. Her forehead was all crinkled, eyes so sad and blue, it took everything Frankie had not to scoop her up and make her see how badly she wanted things to be okay, wanted to skip ahead to the good parts. But this was healthy, for now. This was the way it needed to be.

“Alright then,” Grace headed for the front of the house. “See you later.”

“Alligator,” Frankie couldn’t resist, shutting her eyes when she heard the door close.

She flipped on the blender, drowning out her self-pitying thoughts with the sound, letting it run a little longer than she normally would have, until the substance was good and mixed. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she began pouring it into the tallest glass she could find, but soon enough she heard knocking.

“Did your forget your keys again?!” she shouted as she grinned, slowly making her way to the front door. “I knew you wanted a smoothie too. Good thing I made extra…”

She halted immediately when she turned the corner, spying Jacob on the other side of the glass, heart catapulting into her throat.

Her first impulse was to hide, duck behind the sofa and pretend she wasn’t home, but he’d already seen her. He was waving in fact, smiling just enough to show he wasn’t there to make her life miserable, as far as she could tell. That wasn’t Jacob’s style anyway, but she still hadn’t expected to see him just yet. That wasn’t in the plan for today.

“Hey,” she swallowed as she opened the door.

“Hi there,” he breathed. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” she stepped aside, letting him pass through the hall, following him into the kitchen as she fidgeted. “Grace isn’t here. Not that…that matters, I mean…just, in case you were…”

“I know,” he nodded. “I saw her car pull out of the driveway as I was coming down the street.”

“Oh. Well…good.”

“I figured you’d be in here making one of your famous smoothies,” he smiled sadly. “I just wanted to bring some of your stuff back.”

He handed her the box he’d been carrying. She hadn’t even noticed it at first.

“My geodes,” she set the contents on the counter. “I guess I do leave a trail of them everywhere I go, don’t I?”

“You do.”

“You know, chrysocolla is really good for balancing the Earth energies in the home. That’s why I put it in the northeast corner. Are you sure you don’t want…”

“No,” he shook his head. “Thank you though.”

“What about my throat singing tape?” she lifted it out of the box. “I thought you said they made the yams bigger and more…yammy.”

“Frankie,” he exhaled, leaning against the counter with one hand. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” she questioned. “Let the yams get any bigger? Are they taking over the other crops? Are they sprouting legs and threatening to take you over? Because legend has it…”

“No,” he put a hand on her shoulder, grimacing before pulling away. “I can’t…do this.”

“Oh,” she whispered, her best efforts to dodge this awkwardness averted. “I get it.”

He stared at her for a few moments, as if he were questioning all her decisions, giving her one of those looks that made her feel like she’d kicked a giant puppy, or maybe several dozen puppies. It was almost more than she could take.

“Jacob…” she swallowed. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did over the phone. But I had to do it.”

“It wasn’t much of a surprise, honestly,” he admitted. “When I saw you the last time, you made it pretty clear where you stood.”

“I know,” she nodded. “But still, I…”

“I guess…” he continued wearily. “I just thought we really had something. I thought…well, I was pretty sure you loved me.”

“I did,” she sighed painfully. “I do.”

“But?” he tried to help her out.

“But…” she swallowed harder, not wanting to say it, but knowing she needed to. “…not in the way you deserve to be loved.”

“Because you love someone else?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

She froze, a wave of fear and nerves crashing through her, the voices in her head silenced by the accusation. She was in no way ready to acknowledge her feelings to the outside world, not to anyone other than the “someone else” in question, but she figured if Jacob was asking, if he already knew, the least she could do was be honest. She would have wanted the same.

Slowly, she lifted her eyes back up to him, taking a deep breath, before nodding yes.

“Well,” he sighed. “That’s how this all started too, isn’t it? Except with Sol? Your heart was never completely in it. At least I know it now.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“I know,” he breathed. “I just hope you’re not repeating patterns.”

“Me too,” Frankie held her hand to her sternum, clutching the amethyst hanging around her neck. “But I think this is different.”

“I hope so,” he nodded. “For your sake.”

“Can we be friends?” she asked. “Please?”

“I don’t think we can,” he told her flatly, but kindly. “At least…not now. Maybe one day.”

“I’d like that,” she swallowed back tears. “I never meant to hurt you, Jacob.”

“I know,” he smiled softly, reaching for her shoulder again. “Take care, Frankie.”

“You too,” she whispered, squeezing his hand, before letting go.

She watched him walk out the door, closing it behind him, leaving her alone with her smoothie and a new sense of closure, but no less hurt.

She took a long, decadent gulp of her creation, making her way to the living room, opening the doors, letting the warm breeze, the smell of salt wash over her. There was at least an hour until she had to pick up Coyote. She took a seat on one of her fluffiest floor cushions, breathing in the ocean, breathing out the pain, hoping the voices in her head would stay silent until they were ready to tell her it was okay to move forward.

Read the rest on A03.

[lindafrancois]

How to Gain Weight Quickly: 12 Tips On What to Eat & How to Train

So you want to gain weight fast (and safely)? 

You’ve come to the right place, because this is what we do!

This guide covers the exact weight gain strategies I’ve used to go from my “before” (on the left above) to reach my “after” (on the right above). Believe it or not, that “before” photo is me after a DECADE of strength training and trying to get bigger.

It’s the stuff in this guide that finally allowed me to actually get results (the after).

It’s also exactly how we help our online coaching clients: nutritional guidance and workout plans that line up with their goals.

We’ll help clients gain weight quickly and safely. Learn more:

Oh, and if you sign up in any of the yellow email boxes throughout, you can download our “gain weight and build muscle” shopping list and cheat sheet to hang on your fridge!

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

  Enter your email below to download now

  The Nerd Fitness "Get Bigger" Shopping List

Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Let’s start putting on weight right NOW.

These are the 12 lessons I wish I knew when I started trying to get bigger (click to jump right to that lesson):

NUTRITION

How to eat to gain weight.

What foods should I eat to gain weight?

How much protein do I need to gain weight?

How many carbs and fats should I eat to gain weight?

How fast can I gain weight and get bigger?

STRENGTH TRAINING

What exercises are best for weight gain?

How to get stronger and build muscle.

How many days should I exercise to gain weight?

RECOVERY

How much sleep should I get to gain weight?

Should I do cardio while trying to gain weight?

Can you build muscle without gaining fat?

Gain weight, get bigger and supercharge your results.

Rule #1) How to eat to gain weight.

As we cover in our “Ultimate Skinny Guy’s Guide to Bulking Up Fast,” there’s one rule you need to know above EVERYTHING else.

“If you’re not gaining weight, you’re not eating enough food.”

It’s science and thermodynamics.

Allow me to explain: Depending on your current size and level of activity, your body burns 1200-2500+ calories every day just doing all of its daily processes:

Breathing.

Keeping your heart beating.

Powering your liver, kidneys, and brain.

Powering your movement.

Rebuilding muscle.

And dozens of other things.

Because your body efficiently uses up all of the calories you consume every day, there are no calories left over to build muscle or get stored as fat.

Want to know how many calories you burn every day? Check out our Total Daily Energy Expenditure TDEE calculator:

Total Daily Energy Expenditure Calculator

Your sex * Male Female

Male/Female

Age *

Use age in years.

Weight *

Use pounds (lbs). If using metric system, multiple kg times 2.2 for lbs.

Height *

Use inches. If using metric system, divide cm by 2.54 for total inches.

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)

Your BMR is an estimate of the total calories burned a day, while in a state of rest.

Activity Level * Sedentary (You frequent tell Netflix you are still watching) Lightly Active (You casually stroll through your neighborhood a few times a week) Moderately Active (If we called the gym on a weeknight looking for you, they'd find you) Very Active (You are constantly moving throughout your day job and you're on the company softball team)

For "Activity Level," veer toward the side of less active. Studies consistently show that people are not as active as they self-assess.

Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE)

Your TDEE is an estimate of the total calories burned during a single day, when exercise is factored in.

Use the metric system? I wish we did too here in the States! Click right here for our Metric calculator.

Note: we have used The Mifflin-St Jeor Equation to create this calculator! [1]

Hooray! You now know estimates of your Basal Metabolic Rate (calories you burn existing) and TDEE (calories you burn while moving throughout the day)![2]

So, in order to get bigger, you need to eat ABOVE this TDEE number consistently.

That’s it.

This is the NUMBER ONE mistake skinny people make trying to get bigger: 

We think we have an an overly fast metabolism.

Although there is SOME variation with regards to metabolism variability, it’s insignificant when compared to the effect of the more important part of the equation:

We overestimate how many calories we’re eating each day, we don’t account for the calories we burn through movement or exercise, and there aren’t enough calories left over to create a “caloric surplus.”

And without that surplus, we’ll never gain weight or get bigger. 

MY STORY: I had been training in a gym for 6 years and not getting bigger.

I then worked with a great trainer, who had me DOUBLE the amount of food I was eating.

I thought he was out of his mind.

Until I did it and it worked.

I put on 18 pounds in 30 days [3], and I realized I had been severely undereating for my goals:

In order to gain weight, target an additional 300-500 calories above your Total Daily Energy Expenditure[4]:

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2100-2300 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2300-2500 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

Want to gain weight even faster? As long as you know you’ll also be gaining lots of fat, you can target 800-1000 calories above your TDEE.

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2600-2800 calories per day to gain 2 lbs a week (1 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2800-3000 calories per day to gain 2 lbs. a week (1 kg per week).

What about meal timing? Does it matter WHEN I eat my meals?

WHEN you eat doesn’t matter nearly as much as HOW MUCH you eat.

Your body will process all calories efficiently[5], so focus on total calories consumed.

Depending on your schedule you can:

Eat 3 big meals for breakfast lunch and dinner.

Eat 6 regular sized meals throughout the day.

Skip breakfast and eat two MONSTER meals (this is what I do).

It comes down to your personal preference. You might struggle to eat 3000 calories in 3 meals, so having 6 500-calorie meals throughout the day might make you feel less bloated and full.

Your value may vary! 

See the next section for tips and tricks on WHAT foods you should eat to gain weight.

If you want somebody to help keep you accountable and help you actually bulk up safely and quickly, we have a pretty great online coaching program that has helped people reach their weight gain goals safely and quickly.

Bulk up quickly and safely with our Coaching Program! Learn more:

Rule #2) What foods should I eat to gain weight?

If you want to build muscle, target whole foods that come from high quality, high-calorie sources whenever possible.

Sure, you could obtain 3500 calories eating Taco Bell, Twinkies, candy and Mountain Dew, but this isn’t a good long term solution to gaining weight and building a good physique (goodbye health).

Trust me, I know. I put on 18 pounds in 30 days by eating meatball subs from Subway, drinking whole milk, eating McDonald’s, and drinking weight gainer shakes.

I certainly wasn’t healthy, and today I’m much more intelligent and knowledgeable about how to bulk up safely.

The most important macro we’re going to focus on is protein[6], as studies have shown you’re more likely to put on the right kind of weight with a high protein diet compared to a low protein diet, and that’s where we’ll start:

HERE’S HOW TO EAT TO GAIN WEIGHT:

Calculate your (Total daily energy expenditure) and add 300-500 cal over your number for sustainable weight gain.

Consume at least 1-1.5g per pound (2.2-3.3g per kg) of bodyweight in protein daily.

Consume .25-.4g per pound (.5-.8g per kg) of bodyweight in fat daily.

Consume the rest of your calorie goals from healthy carbs.

Eat vegetables so that your body can process all the extra food.

If you are not gaining weight, add more carbs and/or fats to your meal.

We’re going to start building a healthy plate. Your goal should be to eat as much as you need to create your caloric surplus.

FOOD PRIORITY #1: PROTEIN

Protein can come from any number of sources, including:

Meat (steak, bison, pork).

Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck).

Eggs![7]

Cheese and dairy.

Fish and shellfish (salmon, tuna, shrimp).

Legumes (black beans, chickpeas).

Other vegetarian protein sources here.

If you’re curious, from our healthy eating article, this is what a portion of protein looks like:

Also, here’s how much protein is in a serving of food:

4 oz (113 g) of chicken has around 30 g of protein.

4 oz (113 g) of salmon has 23 g of protein

4 oz (113 g) of steak has 28 g of protein.

As we’ll cover below and in our “How much protein should I eat?” guide, target 1-1.5g per lb (2.2-3.3g per kg) of bodyweight.

PRIORITY #2: CARBS

In order for you to gain weight, you need to consume enough calories, so the remainder of those calories will come from carbs and/or fats.

Here are whole foods full of carbohydrates:

Rice

Quinoa

Oats

Legumes and lentils

Sweet potatoes

Yams

Regular potatoes

Whole grain pasta

Whole grain bread

To help you get better at eyeballing serving sizes:

1 serving of a starchy carbohydrate is 1 cupped hand (uncooked), or your two hands forming a cup (cooked).

Here are some images to help you learn proper portion sizes (thanks to SafeFood):

In addition to consuming carbohydrates from these sources, it’s okay to consume plenty of fruit while trying to bulk up!

You can read our full “Is fruit healthy” guide to learn more.

PRIORITY #3: FAT! 

Fat is a macronutrient that you can eat to help reach your goals, as fat can be higher in calories, plus you can eat lots of it without feeling full.

Healthy fat can be found in foods like:

Avocado

Almonds

Walnuts

Macadamia nuts

Olive oil

Almond butter

Peanut butter

Saturated fats[8] can come from things like:

Whole milk

Full fat dairy

Coconut oil

Grass-fed butter

Fatty cuts of meat

Lard

To help you gauge: a serving size of fat is roughly the size of your thumb!

For reference, this is a single serving of almonds (162 calories):

THIS is a serving of olive oil (60 calories):

As you can see, you can eat an extra 500 calories of “healthy fats” by eating lots of “heart-healthy” fats like nuts or adding more olive oil to your meals.

PRIORITY #4: VEGETABLES!

Last but not least, you need vegetables in your diet.

If you start to eat a lot more food, your “indoor plumbing” is going to really benefit from eating some high-fiber veggies with each meal:

A serving of veggies is about the size of your fist:

Here’s a quick, non-complete list of veggies that you can choose:

Broccoli

Broccolini

Cauliflower

Spinach

Kale

Spaghetti squash

Brussels sprouts

Zucchini

Cucumber

Carrots

Onion

Asparagus

“BUT STEVE, I REALLY STRUGGLE TO EAT ENOUGH CALORIES FROM WHOLE FOODS EVERY DAY!“

I do too. It’s why I consume a good portion of liquid calories every day too.

It’s a surefire way to make sure you hit your calorie goals.

As I lay out in our massive Protein Shake Guide, creating high calorie protein shakes to eat between meals can be the game changer (make sure you check the recipe in that article for my “Powerbomb Shake!”).

Also, download our Skinny Guy Guide which has both lessons and a shopping list you can use to prioritize eating the right high calorie, high quality foods!

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Rule #3) How MUch Protein to Eat to Gain Weight?

As we cover above, you can get your protein from any number of sources:

Meat (steak, bison, pork).

Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck).

Eggs![9]

Cheese and dairy.

Fish and shellfish (salmon, tuna, shrimp).

Legumes (black beans, chickpeas).

Protein supplements like whey, casein, pea, etc.

Other vegetarian protein sources here.

So next let’s answer the question: “How much protein do you need every day?”

The current international Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for protein is 0.4g per pound of bodyweight (0.8 g per kg of body weight):[10].

In our opinion, and as pointed out by this study[11] the RDA # for protein is too low and should be higher regardless of your body composition.

But you don’t care about that. You just want me to tell you how much protein to eat, right?

I figured.

Here is our recommendation[12]:

If you’re of healthy weight, active, and wish to build muscle, aim for 1 g/lb (2.2 g/kg).

If you’re going to be strength training while getting bigger, intakes up to 1.50 g/lb (3.3 g/kg) may help you minimize fat gain.[13]

Let me simplify it for you: target at least 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight (2.2 grams per kg). 

Provided you’re a healthy individual with a healthy liver, you don’t need to worry about eating too much protein[14] – you should be more concerned with eating too little protein.

Long story short: studies suggest you will not put on the right kind of weight without consuming enough protein!

Okay, so let’s talk portions. Here’s how much protein is in a palm-sized serving of food:

4 oz (113 g) of chicken has around 30 g of protein.

4 oz (113 g) of salmon has 23 g of protein

4 oz (113 g) of steak has 28 g of protein.

EXAMPLE TIME!

Let’s say you weigh 150 pounds (68 kg).

That would mean a day of eating could be:

1 serving of protein with breakfast (30g protein shake).

2 servings of protein with lunch: 2 chicken breasts (60g).

2 servings of protein with dinner: 2 portions of steak (56g).

As we cover in our Ultimate Guide to Protein Shakes, a protein supplement can help you reach your protein goals for the day. 

Creating a high-calorie protein shake with foods like frozen fruit, oats, milk, and a scoop of protein can be huge.

It’s how I hit my goals every day! 

MY STORY: I am currently bulking up, and according to my online coach, I need to eat 3200 calories with 240g of protein on workout days (I weigh 172 pounds).

After fasting until noon, here’s how I get 240 g of protein daily:

LUNCH: Double chicken bowl at Chipotle for lunch (rice, chicken, guac, lettuce, cheese): 77g of protein.

SNACK: 2 servings Optimum Nutrition Whey in my powerbomb shake: 70g of protein.

DINNER: 8 oz of grilled chicken, 2 servings of rice, lots of broccoli: 62 g of protein.

SNACK: 1 serving Optimum Nutrition Whey in my 1/2 powerbomb shake. 35g of protein.

Total protein intake for me: 244 grams. Adjust to fit YOUR goals!

RECAP ON PROTEIN INTAKE: Target 1-1.5g per lb of bodyweight (2.2-3.3g per kg) while trying to gain weight. When in doubt, eat more.

Need help figuring out your calories and macros? Let our coaches help you build a bulk up plan.

Rule #4) How Much Carbs and Fats Should I Eat to Gain Weight?

If you are trying to put on a lot of weight, carbs and fats are your friends.

They have a high-calorie count and you can eat lots of them without getting as full as some other things (like protein).

Here are foods full of carbohydrates you can prioritize for bulking up:

Rice

Quinoa

Oats

Legumes and lentils

Sweet potatoes

Yams

Regular potatoes

Whole grain pasta

Whole grain bread

Healthy fat can be found in foods like:

Avocado

Almonds

Walnuts

Macadamia nuts

Olive oil

Almond butter

Peanut butter

Whole milk

Full fat dairy

Coconut oil

Grass-fed butter

Fatty cuts of meat

Lard

Once you know your Total Daily Energy Expenditure + 500 cal (for weight gain), and you know how many grams of protein you need to eat every day, then the remainder of your daily calories can come from carbs and fats.

Want even simpler info? Target 2 portions of carbs, and 2 portions of fat in your meals. If you’re not gaining weight, increase those numbers even more.

This is all about math! Not getting bigger = need MOAR food.

What about other foods like pizza, pasta, candy soda? Sure, you can get away with consuming less healthy things ON OCCASION (pizza, subs, etc.) but avoid fueling yourself with ONLY junk food.

If you’re not sure specifically what you should be eating for protein, carbs, and fats, download our “Get Bigger” Shopping List by putting your email in the box below:

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Rule #5) How Fast Can I gain Weight?

Depending on your training, genetics, how skinny you are, and how much muscle you need to obtain, you can decide how much weight you want to gain each week.

Everybody’s results will vary, and thoughts are mixed on how quickly we can build muscle:

Under optimal conditions, some say you can expect to gain 1 pound (.5 kg) of muscle per week,

My results have shown that 2 lbs (1kg) per month is more realistic.

A 2016 study[15]revealed that strength training produced a 2.2 lb increase (1kg) increase in lean mass in 8 weeks.

Now, depending on how thin you are currently, you might WANT to gain weight even faster and put on a bit of fat.

If you target 500 calories above your Calorie Expenditure every day, you’ll gain a pound a week.

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2100-2300 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2300-2500 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you target 1000 calories above your TDEE, you’ll gain 2 pounds per week:

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2600-2800 calories per day to gain 2 lbs a week (1 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2800-3000 calories per day to gain 2 lbs. a week (1 kg per week).

Yes, it is possible to put on even more weight than that in a short amount of time, like when I gained 18 pounds (8.1kg) in 30 days. 

This was due to consuming 1500 cal above my TDEE, heavy barbell training, targeting lots of protein, and carrying extra water weight (from supplementing with creatine):

My advice: Rather than chasing massive weight gain over a month, you’d be much better off gaining .5-1.5 lbs. (.25-.75 kg) a week, every week, for six months…and keeping the weight on!

So, how do you know if your efforts are working? Simple.

Taking measurements, take photos, and weigh yourself daily:

Take front and side photos every Monday.

Track your meals every day.

Weigh yourself every other day.

If the scale is moving UP, keep doing what you’re doing.

If the scale is NOT moving: EAT MORE.

If you’re ever unsure if you’ve eaten enough that day, eat more.

Once you start to get a good feel for how many calories you eat each day, try to eat the same meals to keep it easy.

Still convinced you can’t gain weight even after tracking things? Let us help. I too was convinced that it was my “fast metabolism,” until I learned from my personal trainer that I simply wasn’t eating enough.

Let us help you build a food plan that will help you gain weight! Learn more:

Rule #6) What Are the 10 Best Exercises For Weight Gain?

Up until this point, we’ve only talked about the weight gain portion.

Do Steps 1-5 above, and you’ll put on plenty of weight.

HOWEVER, if you’re not also training correctly, you’ll just be getting fat, and not building muscle!

That’s where strength training comes in!

If you want to bulk up correctly, you need to be strength training with heavy weight and bodyweight movements.

As we lay out in our “Beginner Strength Workouts” guide, these are the BEST exercises you can do to gain weight:  

SQUATS:

DEADLIFTS:

BENCH PRESS:

INCLINE BENCH PRESS:

OVERHEAD PRESS:

PUSH-UPS:

PULL-UPS:

CHIN-UPS:

DIPS:

BODYWEIGHT ROWS:

Get as strong as possible with these exercises while eating enough calories and protein, and you will gain the right kind of weight! It’s how I bulked up correctly:)

Here’s a sample workout to gain weight, though you can follow our 6 level gym workout routine too.

WEIGHT GAIN MONDAY WORKOUT:

Squats (4 sets of 8 reps)

Benchpress (3 sets of 8 reps)

Pull-Ups (3 sets of 10 reps)

WEIGHT GAIN WEDNESDAY WORKOUT:

Deadlift (3 sets of 5 reps)

Overhead Press (3 sets of 8 reps)

Inverted Rows (3 sets of 8 reps)

WEIGHT GAIN FRIDAY WORKOUT:

Front Squats (3 sets of 5 reps)

Dips (3 sets of 10 reps)

Chin-Ups (3 sets of 10 reps)

Not sure what those numbers mean? Read our article on sets and reps.

How much should you lift? Read our guide on “How much weight should I lift?“

Don’t worry about isolation exercises like triceps extensions, shoulder shrugs, bicep curls or crunches.

You can certainly do them, but only AFTER you’ve done your heavy lifts for the day!

All of the compound exercises listed here use every muscle in your body, and when you overload your body with calories and protein, those muscles will grow.

Want more workouts to follow? Read through our Strength Training 101 series that will answer all your questions!

Terrified to even step foot into a gym? We understand! Check out our Beginner’s Guide to the Gym article for some basic strategies and workouts.

Want somebody to tell you EXACTLY how to exercise and how to eat? Check out our 1-on-1 Coaching Program.

Let us teach you how to bulk like the Hulk, quickly and safely! Learn more:

Rule #7) How to Strength Train to Gain Weight

If you are going to get bigger, you need to consistently increase the difficulty with every workout.

Every time you train, your muscles break down and have to rebuild themselves.

You are teaching them to say “I must get bigger and stronger in case I have to do that again!”[16]

This is called “progressive overload,” and it’s the foundation of strength training.

So how do you progressively overload your muscles?

Lift more weight than last time.

Do more sets or reps than last time.

Wait less time between sets than last time.

Do a more difficult movement or variation.

If you did 3 sets of 5 reps of squats at 95 pounds last week, go for 3 sets of 5 reps at 100 pounds this week!

Did knee push-ups last month?

Great, try to do regular push-ups this month.

Always increase the challenge, and the best way to do that is by tracking your workouts! 

Write down how you train, so that way you know exactly how to get stronger next time. I use Evernote on my phone, but you can use an old school notebook or whatever floats your boat.

Write down exactly how much you lifted, how many sets, how many reps, and how you felt.

And then next time?

Pick up more.

In addition to the protein shakes mentioned back in Rule #3, consider a creatine supplement – it allows your muscles to store more water – which will both help you potentially lift heavier and improve your performance in the gym!

If you don’t want to build your own workout routine, or you’re not sure how and when to scale up your workouts for the best results, let us build a routine for you!

Our coaches will build a workout program for your goals, and every day you can check your coaching app and know exactly what to do:

No guesswork, no confusion. Just a coach that tells you EXACTLY what to do every single day. Learn more about our coaching app:

Rule #8) How Many Days Per Week should I Exercise to Gain Weight And Get Bigger?

Muscles are made in the kitchen and while sleeping, NOT in the gym.

When you train, you are essentially ripping apart and breaking down your muscles.

Then, during the next 48 hours, as you are eating a caloric surplus and recovering, your muscles get rebuilt bigger and stronger.

For this reason, never exercise the same muscle before it’s ready.

In other words, try not to exercise the same muscle on two consecutive days.

Here are the best common practices for weight gain: Do a gym workout 3-4 days a week with a day off in between each (while consuming plenty of calories). This is plenty of training to promote muscle growth and weight gain.

Long story short: pick up a heavy weight in the gym 3-4 days a week for an hour.

Go HARD, go HEAVY.

And then come home, eat, and rest. If you are interested in doing some active recovery on your off days, that’s fine too.

Skinny people usually don’t need to train more, they need to eat and rest more!

Rule #9) How Much SLeep SHould I get To Get Bigger?

You should get at least 6 hours of sleep to function as a human, but getting 7-8 hours of sleep will help aid in building more muscle.[17]

This study[18] also found:

“Inadequate sleep impairs maximal muscle strength in compound movements when performed without specific interventions designed to increase motivation.”

Think of it this way:

Building muscle is hard work, your body can use all the help (and calories) it can get. Your body is doing nothing but lying there and building muscle while you’re sleeping. [19]

If you are only getting 6 hours or less, you’re not going to get all the benefits of your exercising and diet, and not giving yourself the best chance to gain weight and grow bigger.

So don’t make these sleep mistakes!

We often spend quite a bit of time with our coaching clients working with them on their sleep and environmental habits! From turning off the TV an hour earlier to even becoming a morning person, we build fun missions and challenges for our clients around stuff like this to get them results.

Work with our coaches to fix your sleep patterns and build the right habits for building muscle and size!

Rule #10: Should You Do Cardio While Trying to Gain Weight?

Depending on how you currently feel about running, this next sentence will either make you happy or miserable:

“Running might work against your efforts to gain weight and build muscle.”

When you run, your body uses up some of your excess consumed calories to fuel your runs. That makes sense.

This leaves fewer calories left over to build muscle.

Now, nobody will refute the benefits of improved cardiovascular health, nor would I EVER tell you to not do an exercise that you find fun. 

In addition, a 2016 study[20] showed that doing endurance training AND strength training actually created larger muscle hypertrophy in untrained subjects than just resistance training alone.

What this means: you do you, boo.

If you’re somebody that runs and enjoys it, great!

If you’re trying to get bigger, here’s what I would recommend:

Find a way to increase your food intake, and still know that you might be building muscle slightly slower than if you ONLY did strength training.

Cut back on running until you reach your goal weight/size, and then introduce it back into your routine.

Is your SOLE focus on getting bigger? Do 3 things:

Eat (a lot).

Lift (heavier).

Sleep (a lot).

Interested in giving your heart a workout without steady cardio?:

Do higher volume strength workouts. Sets of 20 barbell squats is QUITE the cardio workout.

If you’re going to run, do quick sprints or run up a hill.

Go for walks. Yes, you can actually walk to Mordor.

Want to incorporate cardio the RIGHT way into your life, along with strength training, to start gaining weight?

Our coaching program builds custom programs to help people just like you reach your goals.

Want a workout program that you’ll actually follow? Learn more:

Rule #11: Realize you will put on some fat, and that’s okay.

With all of this eating, you will probably put on some fat along with your muscle.

That’s okay!

You might even be skinny enough that a bit of extra “cushion” on you is a good thing!

If you are trying to put on MOSTLY muscle and minimal fat gain:

Target at least 1.5g of protein per pound of bodyweight (3.3g per kg).

Eat a caloric surplus that is 250cal over your current TDEE.

And then fine tune it from there: essentially, you’re trying to thread the needle of “only build muscle, don’t add fat” which is fairly advanced and challenging.

As this 2017 study points out[21], “Protein overfeeding or the consumption of a high protein diet may not result in a gain in body weight or fat mass despite consuming calories that exceed one’s normal or habitual intake.”

This is incredibly challenging, and you do run the risk of not eating enough to build muscle. In addition, you might build less muscle than had you consumed a larger surplus of calories.

Now, what if you’re “skinny fat?”

What if you have a gut/belly, and thin arms? 

IF YOU ARE “SKINNY FAT”:

A slight caloric deficit: 200 calories under your TDEE.

LOTS of protein: 1.5g per pound of bodyweight (3.3g per kg).

Heavy strength training: focus on lifting REALLY heavy weights.

Build muscle AND burn fat at the same time.

Then, once you get to a low enough body fat percentage that you can see some abdominal muscle definition, you can get back to bulking up.

Rule 12: SuperCharge Your Weight Gain Results (Build the Habit)

These are the 11 rules I’ve followed multiple times in my life whenever I have decided to gain weight. 

There’s a 12th rule I want to share with you too:

Build the habit of eating and exercise:

Put your workouts in your calendar.

Recruit a workout buddy,

Learn how to batch cook meals.

Prepare large quantities of healthy food.

It’s important to build a system that sets you up for weight gain success.

It comes down to two things:

Don’t miss workouts.

Don’t miss meals. 

So do whatever you need to do to make those things happen!

Here’s my final piece of advice: If you want permanent success, stop thinking in terms of “How fast can I gain weight?” and instead think:

“What can I do today that feels sustainable enough that I can stick with it for a year?”

This is how I get results, and how you can use the tools and tips in this article to get results too. Build small habits that become permanent parts of your life, and the results you’ll get will be permanent too.

Now, if you’re somebody that wants even MORE guidance, and specific instructions to follow, I got you:

1) Our 1-on-1 online coaching program, work with a member of Team Nerd Fitness that gets to know you and your situation. We’ll provide expert guidance and accountability, a custom workout, and regular ongoing support:

Bulk like the Hulk! Let us create a program that will get you results!

2) Join the Nerd Fitness Academy: Our self-paced online course. 1 payment, lifetime access. 20+ workouts, a character creation system, boss battles, and one of the most supportive communities in the Galaxy:

Join the NF Academy and start leveling up your character today!

3) Join our free email list, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion! Join a few hundred thousand rebels just like you and I’ll send you a bunch of free guides too. I’m nice like that.

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  To recap our full article, here are the “12 Rules To Gain Weight Quickly”:

Eat more food to create a caloric surplus

Eat mostly high quality, high-calorie food.

Eat enough protein to promote muscle growth.

Eat enough carbs and fats to reach your goals.

Track your progress to make sure you are getting results

Strength training is the key to the RIGHT weight gain

Get stronger to gain weight.

Strength train 3 days per week with plenty of recovery.

Get at least 7-8+ hours of sleep for optimal growth.

Decide if cardio belongs in your workout routine.

Learn how to build muscle with minimal fat gain.

Build the habit of training and eating.

If you have more questions, please leave them in the comments below and I’ll gladly answer them when I get a chance!

You can do this.

Go eat something.

Learn how to do squats and deadlifts.

Do lots of push-ups and pull-ups.

And then eat some more.

-Steve

PS: If you want to read more about this stuff, make sure you check out the following in-depth resources too:

Ultimate skinny guide’s guide to bulking up.

How to build muscle: best exercises and tactics. 

How fast can I build muscle?

9 mistakes skinny people make getting bigger.

6 gym workouts to follow for beginners.

###

photo credit: steak, LEGO Grocery store, lego bread and carbs, pencil, Gregor: Dmitry Klokov 250kg Front Squat Wallpaper – All Things Gym,  W_Minshull Hardcore Stormies Hit The Gym, Speed

  Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Studies have shown the Mifflin-St Jeor Equation to be very accurate in determining BMR and TDEE

Remember the word “estimate.” We’ll touch on this again soon.

It was mostly water weight, some fat, and bit of muscle, but it opened my eyes BIG TIME.

Math time: 500 extra calories a day = 1 extra pound gained per week: pubmed

Pubmed: Increased meal frequency does not promote greater weight loss in subjects who were prescribed an 8-week equi-energetic energy-restricted diet.

The Effects of Overfeeding on Body Composition: The Role of Macronutrient Composition – A Narrative Review

Dietary cholesterol doesn’t influence blood cholesterol levels as much as conventional wisdom once thought. Go ahead and eat eggs!

Saturated fat: part of a healthy diet: pubmed

Dietary cholesterol doesn’t influence blood cholesterol levels as much as conventional wisdom once thought. Go ahead and eat eggs!

Pubmed: Protein for Life: Review of Optimal Protein Intake, Sustainable Dietary Sources and the Effect on Appetite in Aging Adults

Pubmed: Evidence that protein requirements have been significantly underestimated.

Examine.com points out in A comprehensive look at protein here

A high protein diet (3.4 g/kg/d) combined with a heavy resistance training program improves body composition in healthy trained men and women–a follow-up investigation.

“Examine: can eating too much protein be bad for you?”

Increasing Lean Mass and Strength: A Comparison of High Frequency Strength Training to Lower Frequency Strength Training

Okay your muscles can’t think or talk. But they DO respond to stimuli by building themselves stronger.

Relationship between sleep and muscle strength among Chinese university students: a cross-sectional study.

Inadequate sleep and muscle strength: Implications for resistance training: study

Okay, FINE. It’s also pumping your heart and fueling your brain and other vital organs and stuff. But you get what I mean.

Endurance Exercise Enhances the Effect of Strength Training on Muscle Fiber Size and Protein Expression of Akt and mTOR: study

The Effects of Overfeeding on Body Composition: The Role of Macronutrient Composition – A Narrative Review

How to Gain Weight Quickly: 12 Tips On What to Eat & How to Train published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[lindafrancois]

How to Gain Weight Quickly: 12 Tips On What to Eat & How to Train

So you want to gain weight fast (and safely)? 

You’ve come to the right place, because this is what we do!

This guide covers the exact weight gain strategies I’ve used to go from my “before” (on the left above) to reach my “after” (on the right above). Believe it or not, that “before” photo is me after a DECADE of strength training and trying to get bigger.

It’s the stuff in this guide that finally allowed me to actually get results (the after).

It’s also exactly how we help our online coaching clients: nutritional guidance and workout plans that line up with their goals.

We’ll help clients gain weight quickly and safely. Learn more:

Oh, and if you sign up in any of the yellow email boxes throughout, you can download our “gain weight and build muscle” shopping list and cheat sheet to hang on your fridge!

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

  Enter your email below to download now

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Let’s start putting on weight right NOW.

These are the 12 lessons I wish I knew when I started trying to get bigger (click to jump right to that lesson):

NUTRITION

How to eat to gain weight.

What foods should I eat to gain weight?

How much protein do I need to gain weight?

How many carbs and fats should I eat to gain weight?

How fast can I gain weight and get bigger?

STRENGTH TRAINING

What exercises are best for weight gain?

How to get stronger and build muscle.

How many days should I exercise to gain weight?

RECOVERY

How much sleep should I get to gain weight?

Should I do cardio while trying to gain weight?

Can you build muscle without gaining fat?

Gain weight, get bigger and supercharge your results.

Rule #1) How to eat to gain weight.

As we cover in our “Ultimate Skinny Guy’s Guide to Bulking Up Fast,” there’s one rule you need to know above EVERYTHING else.

“If you’re not gaining weight, you’re not eating enough food.”

It’s science and thermodynamics.

Allow me to explain: Depending on your current size and level of activity, your body burns 1200-2500+ calories every day just doing all of its daily processes:

Breathing.

Keeping your heart beating.

Powering your liver, kidneys, and brain.

Powering your movement.

Rebuilding muscle.

And dozens of other things.

Because your body efficiently uses up all of the calories you consume every day, there are no calories left over to build muscle or get stored as fat.

Want to know how many calories you burn every day? Check out our Total Daily Energy Expenditure TDEE calculator:

Total Daily Energy Expenditure Calculator

Your sex * Male Female

Male/Female

Age *

Use age in years.

Weight *

Use pounds (lbs). If using metric system, multiple kg times 2.2 for lbs.

Height *

Use inches. If using metric system, divide cm by 2.54 for total inches.

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)

Your BMR is an estimate of the total calories burned a day, while in a state of rest.

Activity Level * Sedentary (You frequent tell Netflix you are still watching) Lightly Active (You casually stroll through your neighborhood a few times a week) Moderately Active (If we called the gym on a weeknight looking for you, they'd find you) Very Active (You are constantly moving throughout your day job and you're on the company softball team)

For "Activity Level," veer toward the side of less active. Studies consistently show that people are not as active as they self-assess.

Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE)

Your TDEE is an estimate of the total calories burned during a single day, when exercise is factored in.

Use the metric system? I wish we did too here in the States! Click right here for our Metric calculator.

Note: we have used The Mifflin-St Jeor Equation to create this calculator! [1]

Hooray! You now know estimates of your Basal Metabolic Rate (calories you burn existing) and TDEE (calories you burn while moving throughout the day)![2]

So, in order to get bigger, you need to eat ABOVE this TDEE number consistently.

That’s it.

This is the NUMBER ONE mistake skinny people make trying to get bigger: 

We think we have an an overly fast metabolism.

Although there is SOME variation with regards to metabolism variability, it’s insignificant when compared to the effect of the more important part of the equation:

We overestimate how many calories we’re eating each day, we don’t account for the calories we burn through movement or exercise, and there aren’t enough calories left over to create a “caloric surplus.”

And without that surplus, we’ll never gain weight or get bigger. 

MY STORY: I had been training in a gym for 6 years and not getting bigger.

I then worked with a great trainer, who had me DOUBLE the amount of food I was eating.

I thought he was out of his mind.

Until I did it and it worked.

I put on 18 pounds in 30 days [3], and I realized I had been severely undereating for my goals:

In order to gain weight, target an additional 300-500 calories above your Total Daily Energy Expenditure[4]:

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2100-2300 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2300-2500 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

Want to gain weight even faster? As long as you know you’ll also be gaining lots of fat, you can target 800-1000 calories above your TDEE.

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2600-2800 calories per day to gain 2 lbs a week (1 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2800-3000 calories per day to gain 2 lbs. a week (1 kg per week).

What about meal timing? Does it matter WHEN I eat my meals?

WHEN you eat doesn’t matter nearly as much as HOW MUCH you eat.

Your body will process all calories efficiently[5], so focus on total calories consumed.

Depending on your schedule you can:

Eat 3 big meals for breakfast lunch and dinner.

Eat 6 regular sized meals throughout the day.

Skip breakfast and eat two MONSTER meals (this is what I do).

It comes down to your personal preference. You might struggle to eat 3000 calories in 3 meals, so having 6 500-calorie meals throughout the day might make you feel less bloated and full.

Your value may vary! 

See the next section for tips and tricks on WHAT foods you should eat to gain weight.

If you want somebody to help keep you accountable and help you actually bulk up safely and quickly, we have a pretty great online coaching program that has helped people reach their weight gain goals safely and quickly.

Bulk up quickly and safely with our Coaching Program! Learn more:

Rule #2) What foods should I eat to gain weight?

If you want to build muscle, target whole foods that come from high quality, high-calorie sources whenever possible.

Sure, you could obtain 3500 calories eating Taco Bell, Twinkies, candy and Mountain Dew, but this isn’t a good long term solution to gaining weight and building a good physique (goodbye health).

Trust me, I know. I put on 18 pounds in 30 days by eating meatball subs from Subway, drinking whole milk, eating McDonald’s, and drinking weight gainer shakes.

I certainly wasn’t healthy, and today I’m much more intelligent and knowledgeable about how to bulk up safely.

The most important macro we’re going to focus on is protein[6], as studies have shown you’re more likely to put on the right kind of weight with a high protein diet compared to a low protein diet, and that’s where we’ll start:

HERE’S HOW TO EAT TO GAIN WEIGHT:

Calculate your (Total daily energy expenditure) and add 300-500 cal over your number for sustainable weight gain.

Consume at least 1-1.5g per pound (2.2-3.3g per kg) of bodyweight in protein daily.

Consume .25-.4g per pound (.5-.8g per kg) of bodyweight in fat daily.

Consume the rest of your calorie goals from healthy carbs.

Eat vegetables so that your body can process all the extra food.

If you are not gaining weight, add more carbs and/or fats to your meal.

We’re going to start building a healthy plate. Your goal should be to eat as much as you need to create your caloric surplus.

FOOD PRIORITY #1: PROTEIN

Protein can come from any number of sources, including:

Meat (steak, bison, pork).

Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck).

Eggs![7]

Cheese and dairy.

Fish and shellfish (salmon, tuna, shrimp).

Legumes (black beans, chickpeas).

Other vegetarian protein sources here.

If you’re curious, from our healthy eating article, this is what a portion of protein looks like:

Also, here’s how much protein is in a serving of food:

4 oz (113 g) of chicken has around 30 g of protein.

4 oz (113 g) of salmon has 23 g of protein

4 oz (113 g) of steak has 28 g of protein.

As we’ll cover below and in our “How much protein should I eat?” guide, target 1-1.5g per lb (2.2-3.3g per kg) of bodyweight.

PRIORITY #2: CARBS

In order for you to gain weight, you need to consume enough calories, so the remainder of those calories will come from carbs and/or fats.

Here are whole foods full of carbohydrates:

Rice

Quinoa

Oats

Legumes and lentils

Sweet potatoes

Yams

Regular potatoes

Whole grain pasta

Whole grain bread

To help you get better at eyeballing serving sizes:

1 serving of a starchy carbohydrate is 1 cupped hand (uncooked), or your two hands forming a cup (cooked).

Here are some images to help you learn proper portion sizes (thanks to SafeFood):

In addition to consuming carbohydrates from these sources, it’s okay to consume plenty of fruit while trying to bulk up!

You can read our full “Is fruit healthy” guide to learn more.

PRIORITY #3: FAT! 

Fat is a macronutrient that you can eat to help reach your goals, as fat can be higher in calories, plus you can eat lots of it without feeling full.

Healthy fat can be found in foods like:

Avocado

Almonds

Walnuts

Macadamia nuts

Olive oil

Almond butter

Peanut butter

Saturated fats[8] can come from things like:

Whole milk

Full fat dairy

Coconut oil

Grass-fed butter

Fatty cuts of meat

Lard

To help you gauge: a serving size of fat is roughly the size of your thumb!

For reference, this is a single serving of almonds (162 calories):

THIS is a serving of olive oil (60 calories):

As you can see, you can eat an extra 500 calories of “healthy fats” by eating lots of “heart-healthy” fats like nuts or adding more olive oil to your meals.

PRIORITY #4: VEGETABLES!

Last but not least, you need vegetables in your diet.

If you start to eat a lot more food, your “indoor plumbing” is going to really benefit from eating some high-fiber veggies with each meal:

A serving of veggies is about the size of your fist:

Here’s a quick, non-complete list of veggies that you can choose:

Broccoli

Broccolini

Cauliflower

Spinach

Kale

Spaghetti squash

Brussels sprouts

Zucchini

Cucumber

Carrots

Onion

Asparagus

“BUT STEVE, I REALLY STRUGGLE TO EAT ENOUGH CALORIES FROM WHOLE FOODS EVERY DAY!“

I do too. It’s why I consume a good portion of liquid calories every day too.

It’s a surefire way to make sure you hit your calorie goals.

As I lay out in our massive Protein Shake Guide, creating high calorie protein shakes to eat between meals can be the game changer (make sure you check the recipe in that article for my “Powerbomb Shake!”).

Also, download our Skinny Guy Guide which has both lessons and a shopping list you can use to prioritize eating the right high calorie, high quality foods!

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Rule #3) How MUch Protein to Eat to Gain Weight?

As we cover above, you can get your protein from any number of sources:

Meat (steak, bison, pork).

Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck).

Eggs![9]

Cheese and dairy.

Fish and shellfish (salmon, tuna, shrimp).

Legumes (black beans, chickpeas).

Protein supplements like whey, casein, pea, etc.

Other vegetarian protein sources here.

So next let’s answer the question: “How much protein do you need every day?”

The current international Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for protein is 0.4g per pound of bodyweight (0.8 g per kg of body weight):[10].

In our opinion, and as pointed out by this study[11] the RDA # for protein is too low and should be higher regardless of your body composition.

But you don’t care about that. You just want me to tell you how much protein to eat, right?

I figured.

Here is our recommendation[12]:

If you’re of healthy weight, active, and wish to build muscle, aim for 1 g/lb (2.2 g/kg).

If you’re going to be strength training while getting bigger, intakes up to 1.50 g/lb (3.3 g/kg) may help you minimize fat gain.[13]

Let me simplify it for you: target at least 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight (2.2 grams per kg). 

Provided you’re a healthy individual with a healthy liver, you don’t need to worry about eating too much protein[14] – you should be more concerned with eating too little protein.

Long story short: studies suggest you will not put on the right kind of weight without consuming enough protein!

Okay, so let’s talk portions. Here’s how much protein is in a palm-sized serving of food:

4 oz (113 g) of chicken has around 30 g of protein.

4 oz (113 g) of salmon has 23 g of protein

4 oz (113 g) of steak has 28 g of protein.

EXAMPLE TIME!

Let’s say you weigh 150 pounds (68 kg).

That would mean a day of eating could be:

1 serving of protein with breakfast (30g protein shake).

2 servings of protein with lunch: 2 chicken breasts (60g).

2 servings of protein with dinner: 2 portions of steak (56g).

As we cover in our Ultimate Guide to Protein Shakes, a protein supplement can help you reach your protein goals for the day. 

Creating a high-calorie protein shake with foods like frozen fruit, oats, milk, and a scoop of protein can be huge.

It’s how I hit my goals every day! 

MY STORY: I am currently bulking up, and according to my online coach, I need to eat 3200 calories with 240g of protein on workout days (I weigh 172 pounds).

After fasting until noon, here’s how I get 240 g of protein daily:

LUNCH: Double chicken bowl at Chipotle for lunch (rice, chicken, guac, lettuce, cheese): 77g of protein.

SNACK: 2 servings Optimum Nutrition Whey in my powerbomb shake: 70g of protein.

DINNER: 8 oz of grilled chicken, 2 servings of rice, lots of broccoli: 62 g of protein.

SNACK: 1 serving Optimum Nutrition Whey in my 1/2 powerbomb shake. 35g of protein.

Total protein intake for me: 244 grams. Adjust to fit YOUR goals!

RECAP ON PROTEIN INTAKE: Target 1-1.5g per lb of bodyweight (2.2-3.3g per kg) while trying to gain weight. When in doubt, eat more.

Need help figuring out your calories and macros? Let our coaches help you build a bulk up plan.

Rule #4) How Much Carbs and Fats Should I Eat to Gain Weight?

If you are trying to put on a lot of weight, carbs and fats are your friends.

They have a high-calorie count and you can eat lots of them without getting as full as some other things (like protein).

Here are foods full of carbohydrates you can prioritize for bulking up:

Rice

Quinoa

Oats

Legumes and lentils

Sweet potatoes

Yams

Regular potatoes

Whole grain pasta

Whole grain bread

Healthy fat can be found in foods like:

Avocado

Almonds

Walnuts

Macadamia nuts

Olive oil

Almond butter

Peanut butter

Whole milk

Full fat dairy

Coconut oil

Grass-fed butter

Fatty cuts of meat

Lard

Once you know your Total Daily Energy Expenditure + 500 cal (for weight gain), and you know how many grams of protein you need to eat every day, then the remainder of your daily calories can come from carbs and fats.

Want even simpler info? Target 2 portions of carbs, and 2 portions of fat in your meals. If you’re not gaining weight, increase those numbers even more.

This is all about math! Not getting bigger = need MOAR food.

What about other foods like pizza, pasta, candy soda? Sure, you can get away with consuming less healthy things ON OCCASION (pizza, subs, etc.) but avoid fueling yourself with ONLY junk food.

If you’re not sure specifically what you should be eating for protein, carbs, and fats, download our “Get Bigger” Shopping List by putting your email in the box below:

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Rule #5) How Fast Can I gain Weight?

Depending on your training, genetics, how skinny you are, and how much muscle you need to obtain, you can decide how much weight you want to gain each week.

Everybody’s results will vary, and thoughts are mixed on how quickly we can build muscle:

Under optimal conditions, some say you can expect to gain 1 pound (.5 kg) of muscle per week,

My results have shown that 2 lbs (1kg) per month is more realistic.

A 2016 study[15]revealed that strength training produced a 2.2 lb increase (1kg) increase in lean mass in 8 weeks.

Now, depending on how thin you are currently, you might WANT to gain weight even faster and put on a bit of fat.

If you target 500 calories above your Calorie Expenditure every day, you’ll gain a pound a week.

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2100-2300 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2300-2500 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you target 1000 calories above your TDEE, you’ll gain 2 pounds per week:

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2600-2800 calories per day to gain 2 lbs a week (1 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2800-3000 calories per day to gain 2 lbs. a week (1 kg per week).

Yes, it is possible to put on even more weight than that in a short amount of time, like when I gained 18 pounds (8.1kg) in 30 days. 

This was due to consuming 1500 cal above my TDEE, heavy barbell training, targeting lots of protein, and carrying extra water weight (from supplementing with creatine):

My advice: Rather than chasing massive weight gain over a month, you’d be much better off gaining .5-1.5 lbs. (.25-.75 kg) a week, every week, for six months…and keeping the weight on!

So, how do you know if your efforts are working? Simple.

Taking measurements, take photos, and weigh yourself daily:

Take front and side photos every Monday.

Track your meals every day.

Weigh yourself every other day.

If the scale is moving UP, keep doing what you’re doing.

If the scale is NOT moving: EAT MORE.

If you’re ever unsure if you’ve eaten enough that day, eat more.

Once you start to get a good feel for how many calories you eat each day, try to eat the same meals to keep it easy.

Still convinced you can’t gain weight even after tracking things? Let us help. I too was convinced that it was my “fast metabolism,” until I learned from my personal trainer that I simply wasn’t eating enough.

Let us help you build a food plan that will help you gain weight! Learn more:

Rule #6) What Are the 10 Best Exercises For Weight Gain?

Up until this point, we’ve only talked about the weight gain portion.

Do Steps 1-5 above, and you’ll put on plenty of weight.

HOWEVER, if you’re not also training correctly, you’ll just be getting fat, and not building muscle!

That’s where strength training comes in!

If you want to bulk up correctly, you need to be strength training with heavy weight and bodyweight movements.

As we lay out in our “Beginner Strength Workouts” guide, these are the BEST exercises you can do to gain weight:  

SQUATS:

DEADLIFTS:

BENCH PRESS:

INCLINE BENCH PRESS:

OVERHEAD PRESS:

PUSH-UPS:

PULL-UPS:

CHIN-UPS:

DIPS:

BODYWEIGHT ROWS:

Get as strong as possible with these exercises while eating enough calories and protein, and you will gain the right kind of weight! It’s how I bulked up correctly:)

Here’s a sample workout to gain weight, though you can follow our 6 level gym workout routine too.

WEIGHT GAIN MONDAY WORKOUT:

Squats (4 sets of 8 reps)

Benchpress (3 sets of 8 reps)

Pull-Ups (3 sets of 10 reps)

WEIGHT GAIN WEDNESDAY WORKOUT:

Deadlift (3 sets of 5 reps)

Overhead Press (3 sets of 8 reps)

Inverted Rows (3 sets of 8 reps)

WEIGHT GAIN FRIDAY WORKOUT:

Front Squats (3 sets of 5 reps)

Dips (3 sets of 10 reps)

Chin-Ups (3 sets of 10 reps)

Not sure what those numbers mean? Read our article on sets and reps.

How much should you lift? Read our guide on “How much weight should I lift?“

Don’t worry about isolation exercises like triceps extensions, shoulder shrugs, bicep curls or crunches.

You can certainly do them, but only AFTER you’ve done your heavy lifts for the day!

All of the compound exercises listed here use every muscle in your body, and when you overload your body with calories and protein, those muscles will grow.

Want more workouts to follow? Read through our Strength Training 101 series that will answer all your questions!

Terrified to even step foot into a gym? We understand! Check out our Beginner’s Guide to the Gym article for some basic strategies and workouts.

Want somebody to tell you EXACTLY how to exercise and how to eat? Check out our 1-on-1 Coaching Program.

Let us teach you how to bulk like the Hulk, quickly and safely! Learn more:

Rule #7) How to Strength Train to Gain Weight

If you are going to get bigger, you need to consistently increase the difficulty with every workout.

Every time you train, your muscles break down and have to rebuild themselves.

You are teaching them to say “I must get bigger and stronger in case I have to do that again!”[16]

This is called “progressive overload,” and it’s the foundation of strength training.

So how do you progressively overload your muscles?

Lift more weight than last time.

Do more sets or reps than last time.

Wait less time between sets than last time.

Do a more difficult movement or variation.

If you did 3 sets of 5 reps of squats at 95 pounds last week, go for 3 sets of 5 reps at 100 pounds this week!

Did knee push-ups last month?

Great, try to do regular push-ups this month.

Always increase the challenge, and the best way to do that is by tracking your workouts! 

Write down how you train, so that way you know exactly how to get stronger next time. I use Evernote on my phone, but you can use an old school notebook or whatever floats your boat.

Write down exactly how much you lifted, how many sets, how many reps, and how you felt.

And then next time?

Pick up more.

In addition to the protein shakes mentioned back in Rule #3, consider a creatine supplement – it allows your muscles to store more water – which will both help you potentially lift heavier and improve your performance in the gym!

If you don’t want to build your own workout routine, or you’re not sure how and when to scale up your workouts for the best results, let us build a routine for you!

Our coaches will build a workout program for your goals, and every day you can check your coaching app and know exactly what to do:

No guesswork, no confusion. Just a coach that tells you EXACTLY what to do every single day. Learn more about our coaching app:

Rule #8) How Many Days Per Week should I Exercise to Gain Weight And Get Bigger?

Muscles are made in the kitchen and while sleeping, NOT in the gym.

When you train, you are essentially ripping apart and breaking down your muscles.

Then, during the next 48 hours, as you are eating a caloric surplus and recovering, your muscles get rebuilt bigger and stronger.

For this reason, never exercise the same muscle before it’s ready.

In other words, try not to exercise the same muscle on two consecutive days.

Here are the best common practices for weight gain: Do a gym workout 3-4 days a week with a day off in between each (while consuming plenty of calories). This is plenty of training to promote muscle growth and weight gain.

Long story short: pick up a heavy weight in the gym 3-4 days a week for an hour.

Go HARD, go HEAVY.

And then come home, eat, and rest. If you are interested in doing some active recovery on your off days, that’s fine too.

Skinny people usually don’t need to train more, they need to eat and rest more!

Rule #9) How Much SLeep SHould I get To Get Bigger?

You should get at least 6 hours of sleep to function as a human, but getting 7-8 hours of sleep will help aid in building more muscle.[17]

This study[18] also found:

“Inadequate sleep impairs maximal muscle strength in compound movements when performed without specific interventions designed to increase motivation.”

Think of it this way:

Building muscle is hard work, your body can use all the help (and calories) it can get. Your body is doing nothing but lying there and building muscle while you’re sleeping. [19]

If you are only getting 6 hours or less, you’re not going to get all the benefits of your exercising and diet, and not giving yourself the best chance to gain weight and grow bigger.

So don’t make these sleep mistakes!

We often spend quite a bit of time with our coaching clients working with them on their sleep and environmental habits! From turning off the TV an hour earlier to even becoming a morning person, we build fun missions and challenges for our clients around stuff like this to get them results.

Work with our coaches to fix your sleep patterns and build the right habits for building muscle and size!

Rule #10: Should You Do Cardio While Trying to Gain Weight?

Depending on how you currently feel about running, this next sentence will either make you happy or miserable:

“Running might work against your efforts to gain weight and build muscle.”

When you run, your body uses up some of your excess consumed calories to fuel your runs. That makes sense.

This leaves fewer calories left over to build muscle.

Now, nobody will refute the benefits of improved cardiovascular health, nor would I EVER tell you to not do an exercise that you find fun. 

In addition, a 2016 study[20] showed that doing endurance training AND strength training actually created larger muscle hypertrophy in untrained subjects than just resistance training alone.

What this means: you do you, boo.

If you’re somebody that runs and enjoys it, great!

If you’re trying to get bigger, here’s what I would recommend:

Find a way to increase your food intake, and still know that you might be building muscle slightly slower than if you ONLY did strength training.

Cut back on running until you reach your goal weight/size, and then introduce it back into your routine.

Is your SOLE focus on getting bigger? Do 3 things:

Eat (a lot).

Lift (heavier).

Sleep (a lot).

Interested in giving your heart a workout without steady cardio?:

Do higher volume strength workouts. Sets of 20 barbell squats is QUITE the cardio workout.

If you’re going to run, do quick sprints or run up a hill.

Go for walks. Yes, you can actually walk to Mordor.

Want to incorporate cardio the RIGHT way into your life, along with strength training, to start gaining weight?

Our coaching program builds custom programs to help people just like you reach your goals.

Want a workout program that you’ll actually follow? Learn more:

Rule #11: Realize you will put on some fat, and that’s okay.

With all of this eating, you will probably put on some fat along with your muscle.

That’s okay!

You might even be skinny enough that a bit of extra “cushion” on you is a good thing!

If you are trying to put on MOSTLY muscle and minimal fat gain:

Target at least 1.5g of protein per pound of bodyweight (3.3g per kg).

Eat a caloric surplus that is 250cal over your current TDEE.

And then fine tune it from there: essentially, you’re trying to thread the needle of “only build muscle, don’t add fat” which is fairly advanced and challenging.

As this 2017 study points out[21], “Protein overfeeding or the consumption of a high protein diet may not result in a gain in body weight or fat mass despite consuming calories that exceed one’s normal or habitual intake.”

This is incredibly challenging, and you do run the risk of not eating enough to build muscle. In addition, you might build less muscle than had you consumed a larger surplus of calories.

Now, what if you’re “skinny fat?”

What if you have a gut/belly, and thin arms? 

IF YOU ARE “SKINNY FAT”:

A slight caloric deficit: 200 calories under your TDEE.

LOTS of protein: 1.5g per pound of bodyweight (3.3g per kg).

Heavy strength training: focus on lifting REALLY heavy weights.

Build muscle AND burn fat at the same time.

Then, once you get to a low enough body fat percentage that you can see some abdominal muscle definition, you can get back to bulking up.

Rule 12: SuperCharge Your Weight Gain Results (Build the Habit)

These are the 11 rules I’ve followed multiple times in my life whenever I have decided to gain weight. 

There’s a 12th rule I want to share with you too:

Build the habit of eating and exercise:

Put your workouts in your calendar.

Recruit a workout buddy,

Learn how to batch cook meals.

Prepare large quantities of healthy food.

It’s important to build a system that sets you up for weight gain success.

It comes down to two things:

Don’t miss workouts.

Don’t miss meals. 

So do whatever you need to do to make those things happen!

Here’s my final piece of advice: If you want permanent success, stop thinking in terms of “How fast can I gain weight?” and instead think:

“What can I do today that feels sustainable enough that I can stick with it for a year?”

This is how I get results, and how you can use the tools and tips in this article to get results too. Build small habits that become permanent parts of your life, and the results you’ll get will be permanent too.

Now, if you’re somebody that wants even MORE guidance, and specific instructions to follow, I got you:

1) Our 1-on-1 online coaching program, work with a member of Team Nerd Fitness that gets to know you and your situation. We’ll provide expert guidance and accountability, a custom workout, and regular ongoing support:

Bulk like the Hulk! Let us create a program that will get you results!

2) Join the Nerd Fitness Academy: Our self-paced online course. 1 payment, lifetime access. 20+ workouts, a character creation system, boss battles, and one of the most supportive communities in the Galaxy:

Join the NF Academy and start leveling up your character today!

3) Join our free email list, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion! Join a few hundred thousand rebels just like you and I’ll send you a bunch of free guides too. I’m nice like that.

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  To recap our full article, here are the “12 Rules To Gain Weight Quickly”:

Eat more food to create a caloric surplus

Eat mostly high quality, high-calorie food.

Eat enough protein to promote muscle growth.

Eat enough carbs and fats to reach your goals.

Track your progress to make sure you are getting results

Strength training is the key to the RIGHT weight gain

Get stronger to gain weight.

Strength train 3 days per week with plenty of recovery.

Get at least 7-8+ hours of sleep for optimal growth.

Decide if cardio belongs in your workout routine.

Learn how to build muscle with minimal fat gain.

Build the habit of training and eating.

If you have more questions, please leave them in the comments below and I’ll gladly answer them when I get a chance!

You can do this.

Go eat something.

Learn how to do squats and deadlifts.

Do lots of push-ups and pull-ups.

And then eat some more.

-Steve

PS: If you want to read more about this stuff, make sure you check out the following in-depth resources too:

Ultimate skinny guide’s guide to bulking up.

How to build muscle: best exercises and tactics. 

How fast can I build muscle?

9 mistakes skinny people make getting bigger.

6 gym workouts to follow for beginners.

###

photo credit: steak, LEGO Grocery store, lego bread and carbs, pencil, Gregor: Dmitry Klokov 250kg Front Squat Wallpaper – All Things Gym,  W_Minshull Hardcore Stormies Hit The Gym, Speed

  Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Studies have shown the Mifflin-St Jeor Equation to be very accurate in determining BMR and TDEE

Remember the word “estimate.” We’ll touch on this again soon.

It was mostly water weight, some fat, and bit of muscle, but it opened my eyes BIG TIME.

Math time: 500 extra calories a day = 1 extra pound gained per week: pubmed

Pubmed: Increased meal frequency does not promote greater weight loss in subjects who were prescribed an 8-week equi-energetic energy-restricted diet.

The Effects of Overfeeding on Body Composition: The Role of Macronutrient Composition – A Narrative Review

Dietary cholesterol doesn’t influence blood cholesterol levels as much as conventional wisdom once thought. Go ahead and eat eggs!

Saturated fat: part of a healthy diet: pubmed

Dietary cholesterol doesn’t influence blood cholesterol levels as much as conventional wisdom once thought. Go ahead and eat eggs!

Pubmed: Protein for Life: Review of Optimal Protein Intake, Sustainable Dietary Sources and the Effect on Appetite in Aging Adults

Pubmed: Evidence that protein requirements have been significantly underestimated.

Examine.com points out in A comprehensive look at protein here

A high protein diet (3.4 g/kg/d) combined with a heavy resistance training program improves body composition in healthy trained men and women–a follow-up investigation.

“Examine: can eating too much protein be bad for you?”

Increasing Lean Mass and Strength: A Comparison of High Frequency Strength Training to Lower Frequency Strength Training

Okay your muscles can’t think or talk. But they DO respond to stimuli by building themselves stronger.

Relationship between sleep and muscle strength among Chinese university students: a cross-sectional study.

Inadequate sleep and muscle strength: Implications for resistance training: study

Okay, FINE. It’s also pumping your heart and fueling your brain and other vital organs and stuff. But you get what I mean.

Endurance Exercise Enhances the Effect of Strength Training on Muscle Fiber Size and Protein Expression of Akt and mTOR: study

The Effects of Overfeeding on Body Composition: The Role of Macronutrient Composition – A Narrative Review

How to Gain Weight Quickly: 12 Tips On What to Eat & How to Train published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[lindafrancois]

How to Gain Weight Quickly: 12 Tips On What to Eat & How to Train

So you want to gain weight fast (and safely)? 

You’ve come to the right place, because this is what we do!

This guide covers the exact weight gain strategies I’ve used to go from my “before” (on the left above) to reach my “after” (on the right above).

It’s also exactly how we help our online coaching clients: nutritional guidance and workout plans that line up with their goals.

We’ll help clients gain weight quickly and safely. Learn more:

Oh, and if you sign up in any of the yellow email boxes throughout, you can download our “gain weight and build muscle” shopping list and cheat sheet to hang on your fridge!

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Let’s start putting on weight right NOW.

These are the 12 lessons I wish I knew when I started trying to get bigger (click to jump right to that lesson):

NUTRITION

How to eat to gain weight.

What foods should I eat to gain weight?

How much protein do I need to gain weight?

How many carbs and fats should I eat to gain weight?

How fast can I gain weight and get bigger?

STRENGTH TRAINING

What exercises are best for weight gain?

How to get stronger and build muscle.

How many days should I exercise to gain weight?

RECOVERY

How much sleep should I get to gain weight?

Should I do cardio while trying to gain weight?

Can you build muscle without gaining fat?

Gain weight, get bigger and supercharge your results.

Rule #1) How to eat to gain weight.

As we cover in our “Ultimate Skinny Guy’s Guide to Bulking Up Fast,” there’s one rule you need to know above EVERYTHING else.

“If you’re not gaining weight, you’re not eating enough food.”

It’s science and thermodynamics.

Allow me to explain: Depending on your current size and level of activity, your body burns 1200-2500+ calories every day just doing all of its daily processes:

Breathing.

Keeping your heart beating.

Powering your liver, kidneys, and brain.

Powering your movement.

Rebuilding muscle.

And dozens of other things.

Because your body efficiently uses up all of the calories you consume every day, there are no calories left over to build muscle or get stored as fat.

Want to know how many calories you burn every day? Check out our Total Daily Energy Expenditure TDEE calculator:

Total Daily Energy Expenditure Calculator

Your sex * Male Female

Male/Female

Age *

Use age in years.

Weight *

Use pounds (lbs). If using metric system, multiple kg times 2.2 for lbs.

Height *

Use inches. If using metric system, divide cm by 2.54 for total inches.

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)

Your BMR is an estimate of the total calories burned a day, while in a state of rest.

Activity Level * Sedentary (You frequent tell Netflix you are still watching) Lightly Active (You casually stroll through your neighborhood a few times a week) Moderately Active (If we called the gym on a weeknight looking for you, they'd find you) Very Active (You are constantly moving throughout your day job and you're on the company softball team)

For "Activity Level," veer toward the side of less active. Studies consistently show that people are not as active as they self-assess.

Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE)

Your TDEE is an estimate of the total calories burned during a single day, when exercise is factored in.

Use the metric system? I wish we did too here in the States! Click right here for our Metric calculator.

Note: we have used The Mifflin-St Jeor Equation to create this calculator! [1]

Hooray! You now know estimates of your Basal Metabolic Rate (calories you burn existing) and TDEE (calories you burn while moving throughout the day)![2]

So, in order to get bigger, you need to eat ABOVE this TDEE number consistently.

That’s it.

This is the NUMBER ONE mistake skinny people make trying to get bigger: 

We think we have an an overly fast metabolism.

Although there is SOME variation with regards to metabolism variability, it’s insignificant when compared to the effect of the more important part of the equation:

We overestimate how many calories we’re eating each day, we don’t account for the calories we burn through movement or exercise, and there aren’t enough calories left over to create a “caloric surplus.”

And without that surplus, we’ll never gain weight or get bigger. 

MY STORY: I had been training in a gym for 6 years and not getting bigger.

I then worked with a great trainer, who had me DOUBLE the amount of food I was eating.

I thought he was out of his mind.

Until I did it and it worked.

I put on 18 pounds in 30 days [3], and I realized I had been severely undereating for my goals:

In order to gain weight, target an additional 300-500 calories above your daily Daily Energy Expenditure. [4]:

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2100-2300 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2300-2500 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

Want to gain weight even faster? As long as you know you’ll also be gaining lots of fat, you can target 800-1000 calories above your TDEE.

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2600-2800 calories per day to gain 2 lbs a week (1 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2800-3000 calories per day to gain 2 lbs. a week (1 kg per week).

What about meal timing? Does it matter WHEN I eat my meals? WHEN you eat doesn’t matter nearly as much as HOW MUCH you eat. Y

our body will process all calories efficiently[5], so focus on total calories consumed.

Depending on your schedule you can:

Eat 3 big meals for breakfast lunch and dinner.

Eat 6 regular sized meals throughout the day.

Skip breakfast and eat two MONSTER meals (this is what I do).

It comes down to your personal preference. You might struggle to eat 3000 calories in 3 meals, so having 6 500-calorie meals throughout the day might make you feel less bloated and full.

Your value may vary! 

See the next section for tips and tricks on WHAT foods you should eat to gain weight.

If you want somebody to help keep you accountable and help you actually bulk up safely and quickly, we have a pretty great online coaching program that has helped people reach their weight gain goals safely and quickly.

Bulk up quickly and safely with our Coaching Program! Learn more:

Rule #2) What foods should I eat to gain weight?

If you want to build muscle, target whole foods that come from high quality, high calorie sources whenever possible.

Sure, you could get 3500 calories eating Taco Bell, Twinkies, candy and Mountain Dew, but this isn’t a good long term solution to gaining weight and building a good physique (goodbye health).

Trust me, I know. I put on 18 pounds in 30 days by eating meatball subs from Subway, drinking whole milk, eating McDonald’s, and drinking weight gainer shakes.

I certainly wasn’t healthy, and I’m much more intelligent and knowledgeable about how to bulk how to bulk up safely.

The most important macro we’re going to focus on is protein,[6], as studies have shown you’re more likely to put on the right kind of weight with a high protein diet compared to a low protein diet, and that’s where we’ll start:

HERE’S HOW TO EAT TO GAIN WEIGHT:

Calculate your (Total daily energy expenditure) and add 300-500 cal over your number for sustainable weight gain.

Consume at least 1-1.5g per pound (2.2-3.3g per kg) of bodyweight in protein daily.

Consume .25-.4g per pound (.5-.8g per kg) of bodyweight in fat daily.

Consume the rest of your calorie goals from healthy carbs.

Eat vegetables so that your body can process all the extra food.

If you are not gaining weight, add more carbs and/or fats to your meal.

We’re going to start building a healthy plate. Your goal should be to eat as much as you need to create your caloric surplus.

FOOD PRIORITY #1: PROTEIN

Protein can come from any number of sources, including:

Meat (steak, bison, pork).

Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck).

Eggs![7]

Cheese and dairy.

Fish and shellfish (salmon, tuna, shrimp).

Legumes (black beans, chickpeas).

Other vegetarian protein sources here.

If you’re curious, from our healthy eating article, this is what a portion of protein looks like:

Also, here’s how much protein is in a serving of food:

4 oz (113 g) of chicken has around 30 g of protein.

4 oz (113 g) of salmon has 23 g of protein

4 oz (113 g) of steak has 28 g of protein.

As we’ll cover below and in our “How much protein should I eat?” guide, target 1-1.5g per lb (2.2-3.3g per kg) of bodyweight.

PRIORITY #2: CARBS

In order for you to gain weight, you need to consume enough calories, the remainder of those calories will come from carbs and/or fats.

Here are whole foods full of carbohydrates:

Rice

Quinoa

Oats

Legumes and lentils

Sweet potatoes

Yams

Regular potatoes

Whole grain pasta

Whole grain bread

To help you get better at eyeballing serving sizes:

1 serving of a starchy carbohydrate is 1 cupped hand (uncooked), or your two hands forming a cup (cooked).

Here are some images to help you learn proper portion sizes (thanks to SafeFood):

In addition to consuming carbohydrates from these sources, it’s okay to consume plenty of fruit while trying to bulk up!

You can read our full “Is fruit healthy” guide to learn more.

PRIORITY #3: FAT! 

Fat is a macronutrient that you can eat that can help you reach your goals in the right quantity, as fat can be higher calorie and you can eat lots of it without feeling full.

Healthy fat can be found in foods like:

Avocado

Almonds

Walnuts

Macadamia nuts

Olive oil

Almond butter

Peanut butter

Saturated fats[8] can come from things like:

Whole milk

Full fat dairy

Coconut oil

Grass-fed butter

Fatty cuts of meat

Lard

To help you gauge: a serving size of fat is roughly the size of your thumb!

For reference, this is a single serving of almonds (162 calories):

THIS is a serving of olive oil (60 calories):

As you can see, you can eat an extra 500 calories of “healthy fats” by eating lots of “heart-healthy” fats like nuts or adding more olive oil to your meals.

PRIORITY #4: VEGETABLES!

Last but not least, you need vegetables in your diet.

If you start to eat a lot more food, your “indoor plumbing” is going to really benefit from eating some high-fiber veggies with each meal:

A serving of veggies is about the size of your fist:

Here’s a quick, non-complete list of veggies that you can choose:

Broccoli

Broccolini

Cauliflower

Spinach

Kale

Spaghetti squash

Brussels sprouts

Zucchini

Cucumber

Carrots

Onion

Asparagus

“BUT STEVE, I REALLY STRUGGLE TO EAT ENOUGH CALORIES FROM WHOLE FOODS EVERY DAY!“

I do too. It’s why I consume a good portion of liquid calories every day too.

It’s a surefire way to make sure you hit your calorie goals.

As I lay out in our massive Protein Shake Guide, creating high calorie protein shakes to eat between meals can be the game changer (make sure you check the recipe in that article for my “Powerbomb Shake!”).

Make sure you download our Skinny Guy Guide which has both lessons and a shopping list you can use to prioritize eating the right high calorie, high quality foods!

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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  Rule #3) How MUch Protein to Eat to Gain Weight?

As we cover above, you can get your protein from any number of sources:

Protein can come from any number of sources, including:

Meat (steak, bison, pork).

Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck).

Eggs![9]

Cheese and dairy.

Fish and shellfish (salmon, tuna, shrimp).

Legumes (black beans, chickpeas).

Protein supplements like whey, casein, pea, etc.

Other vegetarian protein sources here.

So next let’s answer the question: “How much protein do you need every day?”

The current international Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for protein is 0.4g per pound of bodyweight (0.8 g per kg of body weight):[10].

In our opinion, and as pointed out by this study[11] the RDA # for protein is too low and should be higher regardless of your body composition.

But you don’t care about that. You just want me to tell you how much protein to eat, right? I figured.

Here is our recommendation[12]:

If you’re of healthy weight, active, and wish to build muscle, aim for 1 g/lb (2.2 g/kg).

If you’re going to be strength training while getting bigger, intakes up to 1.50 g/lb (3.3 g/kg) may help you minimize fat gain.[13]

Let me simplify it for you: target at least 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight (2.2 grams per kg). 

Provided you’re a healthy individual with a healthy liver, you don’t need to worry about eating too much protein[14] – you should be more concerned with eating too little protein.

Long story short: studies suggest you will not put on the right kind of weight without consuming enough protein!

Okay, so let’s talk portions. Here’s how much protein is in a palm-sized serving of food:

4 oz (113 g) of chicken has around 30 g of protein.

4 oz (113 g) of salmon has 23 g of protein

4 oz (113 g) of steak has 28 g of protein.

EXAMPLE TIME!

Let’s say you weigh 150 pounds (68 kg).

That would mean a day of eating could be:

1 serving of protein with breakfast (30g protein shake).

2 servings of protein with lunch: 2 chicken breasts (60g).

2 servings of protein with dinner: 2 portions of steak (56g).

As we cover in our Ultimate Guide to Protein Shakes, a protein supplement can help you reach your protein goals for the day. 

Creating a high calorie protein shake with foods like frozen fruit, oats, milk, and a scoop of protein can be huge.

It’s how I hit my goals every day! 

MY STORY: I am currently bulking up, and according to my online coach, I need to eat 3200 calories with 240g of protein on workout days (I weigh 172 pounds).

After fasting until noon, here’s how I get 240 g of protein daily:

LUNCH: Double chicken bowl at Chipotle for lunch (rice, chicken, guac, lettuce, cheese): 77g of protein.

SNACK: 2 servings Optimum Nutrition Whey in my powerbomb shake: 70g of protein.

DINNER: 8 oz of grilled chicken, 2 servings of rice, lots of broccoli: 62 g of protein.

SNACK: 1 serving Optimum Nutrition Whey in my 1/2 powerbomb shake. 35g of protein.

Total protein intake for me: 244 grams. Adjust to fit YOUR goals!

RECAP ON PROTEIN INTAKE: Target 1-1.5g per lb of bodyweight (2.2-3.3g per kg) while trying to gain weight. When in doubt, eat more.

Need help figuring out your calories and macros? Let our coaches help you build a bulk up plan.

Rule #4) How Much Carbs and Fats Should I Eat to Gain Weight?

If you are trying to put on a lot of weight, carbs and fats are your friend.

They have a high calorie count and you can eat lots of them without getting as full as some other things (like protein).

Here are foods full of carbohydrates you can prioritize for bulking up:

Rice

Quinoa

Oats

Legumes and lentils

Sweet potatoes

Yams

Regular potatoes

Whole grain pasta

Whole grain bread

Healthy fat can be found in foods like:

Avocado

Almonds

Walnuts

Macadamia nuts

Olive oil

Almond butter

Peanut butter

Whole milk

Full fat dairy

Coconut oil

Grass-fed butter

Fatty cuts of meat

Lard

Once you know your Total Daily energy expenditure + 500 cal (for weight gain), and you know how many grams of protein you need to eat every day, then the remainder of your daily calories can come from carbs and fats.

Want even simple info? Target 2 portions of carbs, and 2 portions of fat in your meals. If you’re not gaining weight, increase those numbers even more.

This is all about math! Not getting bigger = need MOAR food.

What about other foods like pizza, pasta, candy soda? Sure, you can get away with consuming less healthy things ON OCCASION (pizza, subs, etc.) but avoid fueling yourself with ONLY junk food.

If you’re not sure specifically what you should be eating for protein, carbs, and fats, download our “Get Bigger” Shopping List by putting your email in the box below:

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Rule #5) How Fast Can I gain Weight?

Depending on your training, genetics, how skinny you are, and how much muscle you need to gain, you can decide how much weight you want to gain each week.

Everybody’s results will vary, and thoughts are mixed on how quickly we can build muscle:

Under optimal conditions, some say you can expect to gain 1 pound (.5 kg) of muscle per week,

My results have shown that 2 lbs (1kg) per month is more realistic.

A 2016 study[15]revealed that strength training produced a 2.2 lb increase (1kg) increase in lean mass in 8 weeks.

Now, depending on how thin you are currently, you might WANT to gain weight even faster and put on a bit of fat.

If you target 500 calories above your Calorie Expenditure every day, you’ll gain a pound a week.

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2100-2300 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2300-2500 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you target 1000 calories above your TDEE, you’ll gain 2 pounds per week:

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2600-2800 calories per day to gain 2 lbs a week (1 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2800-3000 calories per day to gain 2 lbs. a week (1 kg per week).

Yes, it is possible to put on even more weight than that in a short amount of time, like when I gained 18 pounds (8.1kg) in 30 days. 

This was due to consuming 1500 cal above my TDEE, heavy barbell training, targeting lots of protein, and carrying extra water weight (from supplementing with creatine):

My advice: Rather than chasing massive weight gain over a month, you’d be much better off gaining .5-1.5 lbs. (.25-.75 kg) a week, every week, for six months…and keeping the weight on!

So, how do you know if your efforts are working? Simple.

Taking measurements, take photos, and weigh yourself daily:

Take front and side photos every Monday.

Track your meals every day.

Weigh yourself every other day.

If the scale is moving UP, keep doing what you’re doing.

If the scale is NOT moving: EAT MORE.

If you’re ever unsure if you’ve eaten enough that day, eat more.

Once you start to get a good feel for how many calories you eat each day, try to eat the same meals to keep it easy.

Still convinced you can’t gain weight even after tracking things? Let us help. I too was convinced that it was my “fast metabolism,” until I learned from my personal trainer that I simply wasn’t eating enough.

Let us help you build a food plan that will help you gain weight! Learn more:

Rule #6) What Are the 10 Best Exercises For Weight Gain?

Up until this point, we’ve only talked about the weight gain portion.

Do Steps 1-5 above, and you’ll put on plenty weight.

HOWEVER, if you’re not also training correctly, you’ll just be getting fat, and not building muscle!

That’s where strength training comes in!

If you want to bulk up correctly, you need to be strength training with heavy weight and bodyweight movements.

As we lay out in our “Beginner Strength Workouts” guide, these are the BEST exercises you can do to gain weight:  

SQUATS:

DEADLIFTS:

BENCH PRESS:

INCLINE BENCH PRESS:

OVERHEAD PRESS:

PUSH-UPS:

PULL-UPS:

CHIN-UPS:

DIPS:

BODYWEIGHT ROWS:

Get as strong as possible with these exercise while eating enough calories and protein, and you will gain the right kind of weight! It’s how I bulked up correctly:]

Here’s a sample workout to gain weight, though you can follow our 6 level gym workout routine too.

WEIGHT GAIN MONDAY WORKOUT:

Squats (4 sets of 8 reps)

Benchpress (3 sets of 8 reps)

Pull-Ups (3 sets of 10 reps)

WEIGHT GAIN WEDNESDAY WORKOUT:

Deadlift (3 sets of 5 reps)

Overhead Press (3 sets of 8 reps)

Inverted Rows (3 sets of 8 reps)

WEIGHT GAIN FRIDAY WORKOUT:

Front Squats (3 sets of 5 reps)

Dips (3 sets of 10 reps)

Chin-Ups (3 sets of 10 reps)

Not sure what those numbers mean? Read our article on sets and reps.

How much should you lift? Read our guide on “How much weight should I lift?“

Don’t worry about isolation exercises like triceps extensions, shoulder shrugs, bicep curls or crunches.

You can certainly do them, but only AFTER you’ve done your heavy lifts for the day!

All of the compound exercises listed here use every muscle in your body, and when you overload your body with calories and protein, those muscles will grow.

Want more workouts to follow? Read through our Strength Training 101 series that will answer all your questions!

Terrified to even step foot into a gym? We understand! Check out our Beginner’s Guide to the Gym article for some basic strategies and workouts.

Want somebody to tell you EXACTLY how to exercise and how to eat? Check out our 1-on-1 Coaching Program.

Let us teach you how to bulk like the Hulk, quickly and safely! Learn more:

Rule #7) How to Strength Train to Gain Weight

If you are going to get bigger, you need to consistently increase the difficulty with every workout.

Every time you train, your muscles break down and have to rebuild themselves.

You are teaching them to say “I must get bigger and stronger in case I have to do that again!”[16]

This is called “progressive overload,” and it’s the foundation of strength training.

So how do you progressively overload your muscles?

Lift more weight than last time.

Do more sets or reps than last time.

Wait less time between sets than last time.

Do a more difficult movement or variation.

If you did 3 sets of 5 reps of squats at 95 pounds last week, go for 3 sets of 5 reps at 100 pounds this week!

Did knee push-ups last month? Great, try to do regular push-ups this month.

Always increase the challenge, and the best way to do that is by tracking your workouts! 

Write down how you train, so that way you know exactly how to get stronger next time. I use Evernote on my phone, but you can use an old school notebook or whatever floats your boat.

Write down exactly how much you lifted, how many sets, how many reps, and how you felt.

And then next time?

Pick up more.

In addition to the protein shakes mentioned back in Rule #3, consider a creatine supplement – it allows your muscles to store more water – which will both help you potentially lift heavier and improve your performance in the gym!

If you don’t want to build your own workout routine, or you’re not sure how and when to scale up your workouts for the best results, let us build a routine for you!

Our coaches will build a workout program for your goals, and every day you can check your coaching app and know exactly what to do:

No guesswork, no confusion. Just a coach that tells you EXACTLY what to do every single day. Learn more about our coaching app:

Rule #8) How Many Days Per Week should I Exercise to Gain Weight And Get Bigger?

Muscles are made in the kitchen and while sleeping, NOT in the gym.

When you train, you are essentially ripping apart and breaking down your muscles.

Then, during the next 48 hours, as you are eating a caloric surplus and recovering, your muscles get rebuilt bigger and stronger.

For this reason, never exercise the same muscle before it’s ready.

In other words, try not to exercise the same muscle on two consecutive days.

Here’s best common practices for weight gain: Do a gym workout 3-4 days a week with a day off in between each (while consuming plenty of calories). This is plenty of training to promote muscle growth and weight gain.

Long story short: pick up heavy weight in the gym 3-4 days a week for an hour.

Go HARD, go HEAVY.

And then come home, eat, and rest. If you are interested in doing some active recovery on your off days, that’s fine too.

Skinny people usually don’t need to train more, they need to eat and rest more!

Rule #9) How Much SLeep SHould I get To Get Bigger?

You should get at least 6 hours of sleep to function as a human, but getting 7-8 hours of sleep will help aid in building more muscle.[17]

This study[18]. also found:

“Inadequate sleep impairs maximal muscle strength in compound movements when performed without specific interventions designed to increase motivation.”

Think of it this way:

Building muscle is hard work, your body can use all the help (and calories) it can get. Your body is doing nothing but lying there and building muscle while you’re sleeping. [19]

If you are only getting 6 hours or less, you’re not going to get all the benefits of your exercising and diet, and not giving yourself the best change to gain weight and grow bigger.

So don’t make these sleep mistakes!

We often spend quite a bit of time with our coaching clients working with them on their sleep and environmental habits! From turning off the TV an hour earlier to even becoming a morning person, we build fun missions and challenges for our clients around stuff like this to get them results.

Work with our coaches to fix your sleep patterns and build the right habits for building muscle and size!

Rule #10: Should You Do Cardio While Trying to Gain Weight?

Depending on how you currently feel about running, this next sentence will either make you happy or miserable:

“Running might work against your efforts to gain weight and build muscle.”

When you run, your body uses up some of your excess consumed calories to fuel your runs. That makes sense.

This leaves fewer calories left over to build muscle.

Now, nobody will refute the benefits of improved cardiovascular health, nor would I EVER tell you to not do an exercise that you find fun. 

In addition, a 2016 study[20] showed that doing endurance training AND strength training actually created larger muscle hypertrophy in untrained subjects than just resistance training alone.

What this means: you do you, boo.

If you’re somebody that runs and enjoys it, great!

If you’re trying to get bigger, here’s what I would recommend:

Find a way to increase your food intake, and still know that you might be building muscle slightly slower than if you ONLY did strength training.

Cut back on running until you reach your goal weight/size, and then introduce it back into your routine.

Is your SOLE focus on getting bigger? Do 3 things:

Eat (a lot).

Lift (heavier).

Sleep (a lot).

Interested in giving your heart a workout without steady cardio?:

Do higher volume strength workouts. Sets of 20 barbell squats is QUITE the cardio workout.

If you’re going to run, do quick sprints or run up a hill.

Go for walks. Yes, you can actually walk to Mordor.

Want to incorporate cardio the RIGHT way into your life, along with strength training, to start gaining weight?

Our coaching program builds custom programs to help people just like you reach your goals.

Want a workout program that you’ll actually follow? Learn more:

Rule #11: Realize you will put on some fat, and that’s okay.

With all of this eating, you will probably put on some fat along with your muscle.

That’s okay!

You might even be skinny enough that a bit of extra “cushion” on you is a good thing!

If you are trying to put on MOSTLY muscle and minimal fat gain:

Target at least 1.5g of protein per pound of bodyweight (3.3g per kg).

Eat a caloric surplus that is 250cal over your current TDEE.

And then fine tune it from there: essentially, you’re trying to thread the needle of “only build muscle, don’t add fat” which is fairly advanced and challenging.

As this 2017 study points out[21], “Protein overfeeding or the consumption of a high protein diet may not result in a gain in body weight or fat mass despite consuming calories that exceed one’s normal or habitual intake.”

This is incredibly challenging, and you do run the risk of not eating enough to build muscle. In addition, you might build less muscle than had you consumed a larger surplus of calories.

Now, what if you’re “skinny fat?”

What if you have a gut/belly, and thin arms? 

IF YOU ARE “SKINNY FAT”:

A slight caloric deficit: 200 calories under your TDEE.

LOTS of protein: 1.5g per pound of bodyweight (3.3g per kg).

Heavy strength training: focus on lifting REALLY heavy weight.

Build muscle AND burn fat at the same time.

Then, once you get to a low enough body fat percentage that you can see some abdominal muscle definition, you can get back to bulking up.

Rule 12: SuperCharge Your Weight Gain Results: Build the Habit

These are the 11 rules I’ve followed multiple times in my life whenever I have decided to gain weight. 

There’s a 12th rule I want to share with you too:

Build the habit of eating and exercise:

Put your workouts in your calendar.

Recruit a workout buddy,

Learn how to batch cook meals.

Prepare large quantities of healthy food.

It’s important to build a system that sets you up for weight gain success.

It comes down to two things:

Don’t miss workouts.

Don’t miss meals. 

So do whatever you need to do to make those things happen!

Here’s my final piece of advice: If you want permanent success, stop thinking in terms of “How fast can I gain weight?” and instead think:

“What can I do today that feels sustainable enough that I can stick with it for a year?”

This is how I get results, and how you can use the tools and tips in this article to get results too. Build small habits that become permanent parts of your life, and the results you’ll get will be permanent too.

Now, if you’re somebody that wants even MORE guidance, and specific instructions to follow, I got you:

1) Our 1-on-1 online coaching program, work with a member of Team Nerd Fitness that gets to know you and your situation. We’ll provide expert guidance and accountability, a custom workout, and regular ongoing support:

Bulk like the Hulk! Let us create a program that will get you results!

2) Join the Nerd Fitness Academy: Our self-paced online course. 1 payment, lifetime access. 20+ workouts, a character creation system, boss battles, and one of the most supportive communities in the Galaxy:

Join the NF Academy and start leveling up your character today!

3) Join our free email list, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion! Join a few hundred thousand rebels just like you and I’ll send you a bunch of free guides too. I’m nice like that.

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  To recap our full article, here are the “12 Rules To Gain Weight Quickly”:

Eat more food to create a caloric surplus

Eat mostly high quality, high calorie food.

Eat enough protein to promote muscle growth.

Eat enough carbs and fats to reach your goals.

Track your progress to make sure you are getting results

Strength training is the key to the RIGHT weight gain

Get stronger to gain weight.

Strength train 3 days per week with plenty of recovery.

Get at least 7-8+ hours of sleep for optimal growth.

Decide if cardio belongs in your workout routine.

Learn how to build muscle with minimal fat gain.

Build the habit of training and eating.

If you have more questions, please leave them in the comments below and I’ll gladly answer them when I get a chance!

You can do this.

Go eat something.

Learn how to do squats and deadlifts.

Do lots of push-ups and pull-ups.

And then eat some more.

-Steve

PS: If you want to read more about this stuff, make sure you check out the following in-depth resources too:

Ultimate skinny guide’s guide to bulking up.

How to build muscle: best exercises and tactics. 

How fast can I build muscle?

9 mistakes skinny people make getting bigger.

6 gym workouts to follow for beginners.

###

photo credit: steak, LEGO Grocery store, lego bread and carbs, pencil, Gregor: Dmitry Klokov 250kg Front Squat Wallpaper – All Things Gym,  W_Minshull Hardcore Stormies Hit The Gym, Speed

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Studies have shown the Mifflin-St Jeor Equation to be very accurate in determining BMR and TDEE

Remember the word “estimate.” We’ll touch on this again soon.

it mostly water weight, some fat, and bit of muscle, but it opened my eyes BIG TIME

Math time: 500 extra calories a day = 1 extra pound gained per week: pubmed

Pubmed: Increased meal frequency does not promote greater weight loss in subjects who were prescribed an 8-week equi-energetic energy-restricted diet.

The Effects of Overfeeding on Body Composition: The Role of Macronutrient Composition – A Narrative Review

Dietary cholesterol doesn’t influence blood cholesterol levels as much as conventional wisdom once thought. Go ahead and eat eggs!

Saturated fat: part of a healthy diet: pubmed

Dietary cholesterol doesn’t influence blood cholesterol levels as much as conventional wisdom once thought. Go ahead and eat eggs!

Pubmed: Protein for Life: Review of Optimal Protein Intake, Sustainable Dietary Sources and the Effect on Appetite in Aging Adults

Pubmed: Evidence that protein requirements have been significantly underestimated.

Examine.com points out in A comprehensive look at protein here

A high protein diet (3.4 g/kg/d) combined with a heavy resistance training program improves body composition in healthy trained men and women–a follow-up investigation.

“Examine: can eating too much protein be bad for you?”

Increasing Lean Mass and Strength: A Comparison of High Frequency Strength Training to Lower Frequency Strength Training

Okay your muscles can’t think or talk. But they DO respond to stimuli by building themselves stronger.

Relationship between sleep and muscle strength among Chinese university students: a cross-sectional study.

Inadequate sleep and muscle strength: Implications for resistance training: study

Okay, FINE. It’s also pumping your heart and fueling your brain and other vital organs and stuff. But you get what I mean.

Endurance Exercise Enhances the Effect of Strength Training on Muscle Fiber Size and Protein Expression of Akt and mTOR: study

The Effects of Overfeeding on Body Composition: The Role of Macronutrient Composition – A Narrative Review

How to Gain Weight Quickly: 12 Tips On What to Eat & How to Train published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[lindafrancois]

How to Gain Weight Quickly: 12 Tips On What to Eat & How to Train

So you want to gain weight fast (and safely)? 

You’ve come to the right place, because this is what we do!

This guide covers the exact weight gain strategies I’ve used to go from my “before” (on the left above) to reach my “after” (on the right above).

It’s also exactly how we help our online coaching clients: nutritional guidance and workout plans that line up with their goals.

We’ll help clients gain weight quickly and safely. Learn more:

Oh, and if you sign up in any of the yellow email boxes throughout, you can download our “gain weight and build muscle” shopping list and cheat sheet to hang on your fridge!

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

  Enter your email below to download now

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Let’s start putting on weight right NOW.

These are the 12 lessons I wish I knew when I started trying to get bigger (click to jump right to that lesson):

NUTRITION

How to eat to gain weight.

What foods should I eat to gain weight?

How much protein do I need to gain weight?

How many carbs and fats should I eat to gain weight?

How fast can I gain weight and get bigger?

STRENGTH TRAINING

What exercises are best for weight gain?

How to get stronger and build muscle.

How many days should I exercise to gain weight?

RECOVERY

How much sleep should I get to gain weight?

Should I do cardio while trying to gain weight?

Can you build muscle without gaining fat?

Gain weight, get bigger and supercharge your results.

Rule #1) How to eat to gain weight.

As we cover in our “Ultimate Skinny Guy’s Guide to Bulking Up Fast,” there’s one rule you need to know above EVERYTHING else.

“If you’re not gaining weight, you’re not eating enough food.”

It’s science and thermodynamics.

Allow me to explain: Depending on your current size and level of activity, your body burns 1200-2500+ calories every day just doing all of its daily processes:

Breathing.

Keeping your heart beating.

Powering your liver, kidneys, and brain.

Powering your movement.

Rebuilding muscle.

And dozens of other things.

Because your body efficiently uses up all of the calories you consume every day, there are no calories left over to build muscle or get stored as fat.

Want to know how many calories you burn every day? Check out our Total Daily Energy Expenditure TDEE calculator:

Total Daily Energy Expenditure Calculator

Your sex * Male Female

Male/Female

Age *

Use age in years.

Weight *

Use pounds (lbs). If using metric system, multiple kg times 2.2 for lbs.

Height *

Use inches. If using metric system, divide cm by 2.54 for total inches.

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)

Your BMR is an estimate of the total calories burned a day, while in a state of rest.

Activity Level * Sedentary (You frequent tell Netflix you are still watching) Lightly Active (You casually stroll through your neighborhood a few times a week) Moderately Active (If we called the gym on a weeknight looking for you, they'd find you) Very Active (You are constantly moving throughout your day job and you're on the company softball team)

For "Activity Level," veer toward the side of less active. Studies consistently show that people are not as active as they self-assess.

Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE)

Your TDEE is an estimate of the total calories burned during a single day, when exercise is factored in.

Use the metric system? I wish we did too here in the States! Click right here for our Metric calculator.

Note: we have used The Mifflin-St Jeor Equation to create this calculator! [1]

Hooray! You now know estimates of your Basal Metabolic Rate (calories you burn existing) and TDEE (calories you burn while moving throughout the day)![2]

So, in order to get bigger, you need to eat ABOVE this TDEE number consistently.

That’s it.

This is the NUMBER ONE mistake skinny people make trying to get bigger: 

We think we have an an overly fast metabolism.

Although there is SOME variation with regards to metabolism variability, it’s insignificant when compared to the effect of the more important part of the equation:

We overestimate how many calories we’re eating each day, we don’t account for the calories we burn through movement or exercise, and there aren’t enough calories left over to create a “caloric surplus.”

And without that surplus, we’ll never gain weight or get bigger. 

MY STORY: I had been training in a gym for 6 years and not getting bigger.

I then worked with a great trainer, who had me DOUBLE the amount of food I was eating.

I thought he was out of his mind.

Until I did it and it worked.

I put on 18 pounds in 30 days [3], and I realized I had been severely undereating for my goals:

In order to gain weight, target an additional 300-500 calories above your daily Daily Energy Expenditure. [4]:

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2100-2300 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2300-2500 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

Want to gain weight even faster? As long as you know you’ll also be gaining lots of fat, you can target 800-1000 calories above your TDEE.

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2600-2800 calories per day to gain 2 lbs a week (1 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2800-3000 calories per day to gain 2 lbs. a week (1 kg per week).

What about meal timing? Does it matter WHEN I eat my meals? WHEN you eat doesn’t matter nearly as much as HOW MUCH you eat. Y

our body will process all calories efficiently[5], so focus on total calories consumed.

Depending on your schedule you can:

Eat 3 big meals for breakfast lunch and dinner.

Eat 6 regular sized meals throughout the day.

Skip breakfast and eat two MONSTER meals (this is what I do).

It comes down to your personal preference. You might struggle to eat 3000 calories in 3 meals, so having 6 500-calorie meals throughout the day might make you feel less bloated and full.

Your value may vary! 

See the next section for tips and tricks on WHAT foods you should eat to gain weight.

If you want somebody to help keep you accountable and help you actually bulk up safely and quickly, we have a pretty great online coaching program that has helped people reach their weight gain goals safely and quickly.

Bulk up quickly and safely with our Coaching Program! Learn more:

Rule #2) What foods should I eat to gain weight?

If you want to build muscle, target whole foods that come from high quality, high calorie sources whenever possible.

Sure, you could get 3500 calories eating Taco Bell, Twinkies, candy and Mountain Dew, but this isn’t a good long term solution to gaining weight and building a good physique (goodbye health).

Trust me, I know. I put on 18 pounds in 30 days by eating meatball subs from Subway, drinking whole milk, eating McDonald’s, and drinking weight gainer shakes.

I certainly wasn’t healthy, and I’m much more intelligent and knowledgeable about how to bulk how to bulk up safely.

The most important macro we’re going to focus on is protein,[6], as studies have shown you’re more likely to put on the right kind of weight with a high protein diet compared to a low protein diet, and that’s where we’ll start:

HERE’S HOW TO EAT TO GAIN WEIGHT:

Calculate your (Total daily energy expenditure) and add 300-500 cal over your number for sustainable weight gain.

Consume at least 1-1.5g per pound (2.2-3.3g per kg) of bodyweight in protein daily.

Consume .25-.4g per pound (.5-.8g per kg) of bodyweight in fat daily.

Consume the rest of your calorie goals from healthy carbs.

Eat vegetables so that your body can process all the extra food.

If you are not gaining weight, add more carbs and/or fats to your meal.

We’re going to start building a healthy plate. Your goal should be to eat as much as you need to create your caloric surplus.

FOOD PRIORITY #1: PROTEIN

Protein can come from any number of sources, including:

Meat (steak, bison, pork).

Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck).

Eggs![7]

Cheese and dairy.

Fish and shellfish (salmon, tuna, shrimp).

Legumes (black beans, chickpeas).

Other vegetarian protein sources here.

If you’re curious, from our healthy eating article, this is what a portion of protein looks like:

Also, here’s how much protein is in a serving of food:

4 oz (113 g) of chicken has around 30 g of protein.

4 oz (113 g) of salmon has 23 g of protein

4 oz (113 g) of steak has 28 g of protein.

As we’ll cover below and in our “How much protein should I eat?” guide, target 1-1.5g per lb (2.2-3.3g per kg) of bodyweight.

PRIORITY #2: CARBS

In order for you to gain weight, you need to consume enough calories, the remainder of those calories will come from carbs and/or fats.

Here are whole foods full of carbohydrates:

Rice

Quinoa

Oats

Legumes and lentils

Sweet potatoes

Yams

Regular potatoes

Whole grain pasta

Whole grain bread

To help you get better at eyeballing serving sizes:

1 serving of a starchy carbohydrate is 1 cupped hand (uncooked), or your two hands forming a cup (cooked).

Here are some images to help you learn proper portion sizes (thanks to SafeFood):

In addition to consuming carbohydrates from these sources, it’s okay to consume plenty of fruit while trying to bulk up!

You can read our full “Is fruit healthy” guide to learn more.

PRIORITY #3: FAT! 

Fat is a macronutrient that you can eat that can help you reach your goals in the right quantity, as fat can be higher calorie and you can eat lots of it without feeling full.

Healthy fat can be found in foods like:

Avocado

Almonds

Walnuts

Macadamia nuts

Olive oil

Almond butter

Peanut butter

Saturated fats[8] can come from things like:

Whole milk

Full fat dairy

Coconut oil

Grass-fed butter

Fatty cuts of meat

Lard

To help you gauge: a serving size of fat is roughly the size of your thumb!

For reference, this is a single serving of almonds (162 calories):

THIS is a serving of olive oil (60 calories):

As you can see, you can eat an extra 500 calories of “healthy fats” by eating lots of “heart-healthy” fats like nuts or adding more olive oil to your meals.

PRIORITY #4: VEGETABLES!

Last but not least, you need vegetables in your diet.

If you start to eat a lot more food, your “indoor plumbing” is going to really benefit from eating some high-fiber veggies with each meal:

A serving of veggies is about the size of your fist:

Here’s a quick, non-complete list of veggies that you can choose:

Broccoli

Broccolini

Cauliflower

Spinach

Kale

Spaghetti squash

Brussels sprouts

Zucchini

Cucumber

Carrots

Onion

Asparagus

“BUT STEVE, I REALLY STRUGGLE TO EAT ENOUGH CALORIES FROM WHOLE FOODS EVERY DAY!“

I do too. It’s why I consume a good portion of liquid calories every day too.

It’s a surefire way to make sure you hit your calorie goals.

As I lay out in our massive Protein Shake Guide, creating high calorie protein shakes to eat between meals can be the game changer (make sure you check the recipe in that article for my “Powerbomb Shake!”).

Make sure you download our Skinny Guy Guide which has both lessons and a shopping list you can use to prioritize eating the right high calorie, high quality foods!

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

  Enter your email below to download now

  The Nerd Fitness "Get Bigger" Shopping List

Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Rule #3) How MUch Protein to Eat to Gain Weight?

As we cover above, you can get your protein from any number of sources:

Protein can come from any number of sources, including:

Meat (steak, bison, pork).

Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck).

Eggs![9]

Cheese and dairy.

Fish and shellfish (salmon, tuna, shrimp).

Legumes (black beans, chickpeas).

Protein supplements like whey, casein, pea, etc.

Other vegetarian protein sources here.

So next let’s answer the question: “How much protein do you need every day?”

The current international Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for protein is 0.4g per pound of bodyweight (0.8 g per kg of body weight):[10].

In our opinion, and as pointed out by this study[11] the RDA # for protein is too low and should be higher regardless of your body composition.

But you don’t care about that. You just want me to tell you how much protein to eat, right? I figured.

Here is our recommendation[12]:

If you’re of healthy weight, active, and wish to build muscle, aim for 1 g/lb (2.2 g/kg).

If you’re going to be strength training while getting bigger, intakes up to 1.50 g/lb (3.3 g/kg) may help you minimize fat gain.[13]

Let me simplify it for you: target at least 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight (2.2 grams per kg). 

Provided you’re a healthy individual with a healthy liver, you don’t need to worry about eating too much protein[14] – you should be more concerned with eating too little protein.

Long story short: studies suggest you will not put on the right kind of weight without consuming enough protein!

Okay, so let’s talk portions. Here’s how much protein is in a palm-sized serving of food:

4 oz (113 g) of chicken has around 30 g of protein.

4 oz (113 g) of salmon has 23 g of protein

4 oz (113 g) of steak has 28 g of protein.

EXAMPLE TIME!

Let’s say you weigh 150 pounds (68 kg).

That would mean a day of eating could be:

1 serving of protein with breakfast (30g protein shake).

2 servings of protein with lunch: 2 chicken breasts (60g).

2 servings of protein with dinner: 2 portions of steak (56g).

As we cover in our Ultimate Guide to Protein Shakes, a protein supplement can help you reach your protein goals for the day. 

Creating a high calorie protein shake with foods like frozen fruit, oats, milk, and a scoop of protein can be huge.

It’s how I hit my goals every day! 

MY STORY: I am currently bulking up, and according to my online coach, I need to eat 3200 calories with 240g of protein on workout days (I weigh 172 pounds).

After fasting until noon, here’s how I get 240 g of protein daily:

LUNCH: Double chicken bowl at Chipotle for lunch (rice, chicken, guac, lettuce, cheese): 77g of protein.

SNACK: 2 servings Optimum Nutrition Whey in my powerbomb shake: 70g of protein.

DINNER: 8 oz of grilled chicken, 2 servings of rice, lots of broccoli: 62 g of protein.

SNACK: 1 serving Optimum Nutrition Whey in my 1/2 powerbomb shake. 35g of protein.

Total protein intake for me: 244 grams. Adjust to fit YOUR goals!

RECAP ON PROTEIN INTAKE: Target 1-1.5g per lb of bodyweight (2.2-3.3g per kg) while trying to gain weight. When in doubt, eat more.

Need help figuring out your calories and macros? Let our coaches help you build a bulk up plan.

Rule #4) How Much Carbs and Fats Should I Eat to Gain Weight?

If you are trying to put on a lot of weight, carbs and fats are your friend.

They have a high calorie count and you can eat lots of them without getting as full as some other things (like protein).

Here are foods full of carbohydrates you can prioritize for bulking up:

Rice

Quinoa

Oats

Legumes and lentils

Sweet potatoes

Yams

Regular potatoes

Whole grain pasta

Whole grain bread

Healthy fat can be found in foods like:

Avocado

Almonds

Walnuts

Macadamia nuts

Olive oil

Almond butter

Peanut butter

Whole milk

Full fat dairy

Coconut oil

Grass-fed butter

Fatty cuts of meat

Lard

Once you know your Total Daily energy expenditure + 500 cal (for weight gain), and you know how many grams of protein you need to eat every day, then the remainder of your daily calories can come from carbs and fats.

Want even simple info? Target 2 portions of carbs, and 2 portions of fat in your meals. If you’re not gaining weight, increase those numbers even more.

This is all about math! Not getting bigger = need MOAR food.

What about other foods like pizza, pasta, candy soda? Sure, you can get away with consuming less healthy things ON OCCASION (pizza, subs, etc.) but avoid fueling yourself with ONLY junk food.

If you’re not sure specifically what you should be eating for protein, carbs, and fats, download our “Get Bigger” Shopping List by putting your email in the box below:

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

  Enter your email below to download now

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  Rule #5) How Fast Can I gain Weight?

Depending on your training, genetics, how skinny you are, and how much muscle you need to gain, you can decide how much weight you want to gain each week.

Everybody’s results will vary, and thoughts are mixed on how quickly we can build muscle:

Under optimal conditions, some say you can expect to gain 1 pound (.5 kg) of muscle per week,

My results have shown that 2 lbs (1kg) per month is more realistic.

A 2016 study[15]revealed that strength training produced a 2.2 lb increase (1kg) increase in lean mass in 8 weeks.

Now, depending on how thin you are currently, you might WANT to gain weight even faster and put on a bit of fat.

If you target 500 calories above your Calorie Expenditure every day, you’ll gain a pound a week.

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2100-2300 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2300-2500 calories per day to gain a pound a week (0.5 kg per week).

If you target 1000 calories above your TDEE, you’ll gain 2 pounds per week:

If you have a TDEE of 1800 calories: target 2600-2800 calories per day to gain 2 lbs a week (1 kg per week).

If you have a TDEE of 2000 calories: target 2800-3000 calories per day to gain 2 lbs. a week (1 kg per week).

Yes, it is possible to put on even more weight than that in a short amount of time, like when I gained 18 pounds (8.1kg) in 30 days. 

This was due to consuming 1500 cal above my TDEE, heavy barbell training, targeting lots of protein, and carrying extra water weight (from supplementing with creatine):

My advice: Rather than chasing massive weight gain over a month, you’d be much better off gaining .5-1.5 lbs. (.25-.75 kg) a week, every week, for six months…and keeping the weight on!

So, how do you know if your efforts are working? Simple.

Taking measurements, take photos, and weigh yourself daily:

Take front and side photos every Monday.

Track your meals every day.

Weigh yourself every other day.

If the scale is moving UP, keep doing what you’re doing.

If the scale is NOT moving: EAT MORE.

If you’re ever unsure if you’ve eaten enough that day, eat more.

Once you start to get a good feel for how many calories you eat each day, try to eat the same meals to keep it easy.

Still convinced you can’t gain weight even after tracking things? Let us help. I too was convinced that it was my “fast metabolism,” until I learned from my personal trainer that I simply wasn’t eating enough.

Let us help you build a food plan that will help you gain weight! Learn more:

Rule #6) What Are the 10 Best Exercises For Weight Gain?

Up until this point, we’ve only talked about the weight gain portion.

Do Steps 1-5 above, and you’ll put on plenty weight.

HOWEVER, if you’re not also training correctly, you’ll just be getting fat, and not building muscle!

That’s where strength training comes in!

If you want to bulk up correctly, you need to be strength training with heavy weight and bodyweight movements.

As we lay out in our “Beginner Strength Workouts” guide, these are the BEST exercises you can do to gain weight:  

SQUATS:

DEADLIFTS:

BENCH PRESS:

INCLINE BENCH PRESS:

OVERHEAD PRESS:

PUSH-UPS:

PULL-UPS:

CHIN-UPS:

DIPS:

BODYWEIGHT ROWS:

Get as strong as possible with these exercise while eating enough calories and protein, and you will gain the right kind of weight! It’s how I bulked up correctly:]

Here’s a sample workout to gain weight, though you can follow our 6 level gym workout routine too.

WEIGHT GAIN MONDAY WORKOUT:

Squats (4 sets of 8 reps)

Benchpress (3 sets of 8 reps)

Pull-Ups (3 sets of 10 reps)

WEIGHT GAIN WEDNESDAY WORKOUT:

Deadlift (3 sets of 5 reps)

Overhead Press (3 sets of 8 reps)

Inverted Rows (3 sets of 8 reps)

WEIGHT GAIN FRIDAY WORKOUT:

Front Squats (3 sets of 5 reps)

Dips (3 sets of 10 reps)

Chin-Ups (3 sets of 10 reps)

Not sure what those numbers mean? Read our article on sets and reps.

How much should you lift? Read our guide on “How much weight should I lift?“

Don’t worry about isolation exercises like triceps extensions, shoulder shrugs, bicep curls or crunches.

You can certainly do them, but only AFTER you’ve done your heavy lifts for the day!

All of the compound exercises listed here use every muscle in your body, and when you overload your body with calories and protein, those muscles will grow.

Want more workouts to follow? Read through our Strength Training 101 series that will answer all your questions!

Terrified to even step foot into a gym? We understand! Check out our Beginner’s Guide to the Gym article for some basic strategies and workouts.

Want somebody to tell you EXACTLY how to exercise and how to eat? Check out our 1-on-1 Coaching Program.

Let us teach you how to bulk like the Hulk, quickly and safely! Learn more:

Rule #7) How to Strength Train to Gain Weight

If you are going to get bigger, you need to consistently increase the difficulty with every workout.

Every time you train, your muscles break down and have to rebuild themselves.

You are teaching them to say “I must get bigger and stronger in case I have to do that again!”[16]

This is called “progressive overload,” and it’s the foundation of strength training.

So how do you progressively overload your muscles?

Lift more weight than last time.

Do more sets or reps than last time.

Wait less time between sets than last time.

Do a more difficult movement or variation.

If you did 3 sets of 5 reps of squats at 95 pounds last week, go for 3 sets of 5 reps at 100 pounds this week!

Did knee push-ups last month? Great, try to do regular push-ups this month.

Always increase the challenge, and the best way to do that is by tracking your workouts! 

Write down how you train, so that way you know exactly how to get stronger next time. I use Evernote on my phone, but you can use an old school notebook or whatever floats your boat.

Write down exactly how much you lifted, how many sets, how many reps, and how you felt.

And then next time?

Pick up more.

In addition to the protein shakes mentioned back in Rule #3, consider a creatine supplement – it allows your muscles to store more water – which will both help you potentially lift heavier and improve your performance in the gym!

If you don’t want to build your own workout routine, or you’re not sure how and when to scale up your workouts for the best results, let us build a routine for you!

Our coaches will build a workout program for your goals, and every day you can check your coaching app and know exactly what to do:

No guesswork, no confusion. Just a coach that tells you EXACTLY what to do every single day. Learn more about our coaching app:

Rule #8) How Many Days Per Week should I Exercise to Gain Weight And Get Bigger?

Muscles are made in the kitchen and while sleeping, NOT in the gym.

When you train, you are essentially ripping apart and breaking down your muscles.

Then, during the next 48 hours, as you are eating a caloric surplus and recovering, your muscles get rebuilt bigger and stronger.

For this reason, never exercise the same muscle before it’s ready.

In other words, try not to exercise the same muscle on two consecutive days.

Here’s best common practices for weight gain: Do a gym workout 3-4 days a week with a day off in between each (while consuming plenty of calories). This is plenty of training to promote muscle growth and weight gain.

Long story short: pick up heavy weight in the gym 3-4 days a week for an hour.

Go HARD, go HEAVY.

And then come home, eat, and rest. If you are interested in doing some active recovery on your off days, that’s fine too.

Skinny people usually don’t need to train more, they need to eat and rest more!

Rule #9) How Much SLeep SHould I get To Get Bigger?

You should get at least 6 hours of sleep to function as a human, but getting 7-8 hours of sleep will help aid in building more muscle.[17]

This study[18]. also found:

“Inadequate sleep impairs maximal muscle strength in compound movements when performed without specific interventions designed to increase motivation.”

Think of it this way:

Building muscle is hard work, your body can use all the help (and calories) it can get. Your body is doing nothing but lying there and building muscle while you’re sleeping. [19]

If you are only getting 6 hours or less, you’re not going to get all the benefits of your exercising and diet, and not giving yourself the best change to gain weight and grow bigger.

So don’t make these sleep mistakes!

We often spend quite a bit of time with our coaching clients working with them on their sleep and environmental habits! From turning off the TV an hour earlier to even becoming a morning person, we build fun missions and challenges for our clients around stuff like this to get them results.

Work with our coaches to fix your sleep patterns and build the right habits for building muscle and size!

Rule #10: Should You Do Cardio While Trying to Gain Weight?

Depending on how you currently feel about running, this next sentence will either make you happy or miserable:

“Running might work against your efforts to gain weight and build muscle.”

When you run, your body uses up some of your excess consumed calories to fuel your runs. That makes sense.

This leaves fewer calories left over to build muscle.

Now, nobody will refute the benefits of improved cardiovascular health, nor would I EVER tell you to not do an exercise that you find fun. 

In addition, a 2016 study[20] showed that doing endurance training AND strength training actually created larger muscle hypertrophy in untrained subjects than just resistance training alone.

What this means: you do you, boo.

If you’re somebody that runs and enjoys it, great!

If you’re trying to get bigger, here’s what I would recommend:

Find a way to increase your food intake, and still know that you might be building muscle slightly slower than if you ONLY did strength training.

Cut back on running until you reach your goal weight/size, and then introduce it back into your routine.

Is your SOLE focus on getting bigger? Do 3 things:

Eat (a lot).

Lift (heavier).

Sleep (a lot).

Interested in giving your heart a workout without steady cardio?:

Do higher volume strength workouts. Sets of 20 barbell squats is QUITE the cardio workout.

If you’re going to run, do quick sprints or run up a hill.

Go for walks. Yes, you can actually walk to Mordor.

Want to incorporate cardio the RIGHT way into your life, along with strength training, to start gaining weight?

Our coaching program builds custom programs to help people just like you reach your goals.

Want a workout program that you’ll actually follow? Learn more:

Rule #11: Realize you will put on some fat, and that’s okay.

With all of this eating, you will probably put on some fat along with your muscle.

That’s okay!

You might even be skinny enough that a bit of extra “cushion” on you is a good thing!

If you are trying to put on MOSTLY muscle and minimal fat gain:

Target at least 1.5g of protein per pound of bodyweight (3.3g per kg).

Eat a caloric surplus that is 250cal over your current TDEE.

And then fine tune it from there: essentially, you’re trying to thread the needle of “only build muscle, don’t add fat” which is fairly advanced and challenging.

As this 2017 study points out[21], “Protein overfeeding or the consumption of a high protein diet may not result in a gain in body weight or fat mass despite consuming calories that exceed one’s normal or habitual intake.”

This is incredibly challenging, and you do run the risk of not eating enough to build muscle. In addition, you might build less muscle than had you consumed a larger surplus of calories.

Now, what if you’re “skinny fat?”

What if you have a gut/belly, and thin arms? 

IF YOU ARE “SKINNY FAT”:

A slight caloric deficit: 200 calories under your TDEE.

LOTS of protein: 1.5g per pound of bodyweight (3.3g per kg).

Heavy strength training: focus on lifting REALLY heavy weight.

Build muscle AND burn fat at the same time.

Then, once you get to a low enough body fat percentage that you can see some abdominal muscle definition, you can get back to bulking up.

Rule 12: SuperCharge Your Weight Gain Results: Build the Habit

These are the 11 rules I’ve followed multiple times in my life whenever I have decided to gain weight. 

There’s a 12th rule I want to share with you too:

Build the habit of eating and exercise:

Put your workouts in your calendar.

Recruit a workout buddy,

Learn how to batch cook meals.

Prepare large quantities of healthy food.

It’s important to build a system that sets you up for weight gain success.

It comes down to two things:

Don’t miss workouts.

Don’t miss meals. 

So do whatever you need to do to make those things happen!

Here’s my final piece of advice: If you want permanent success, stop thinking in terms of “How fast can I gain weight?” and instead think:

“What can I do today that feels sustainable enough that I can stick with it for a year?”

This is how I get results, and how you can use the tools and tips in this article to get results too. Build small habits that become permanent parts of your life, and the results you’ll get will be permanent too.

Now, if you’re somebody that wants even MORE guidance, and specific instructions to follow, I got you:

1) Our 1-on-1 online coaching program, work with a member of Team Nerd Fitness that gets to know you and your situation. We’ll provide expert guidance and accountability, a custom workout, and regular ongoing support:

Bulk like the Hulk! Let us create a program that will get you results!

2) Join the Nerd Fitness Academy: Our self-paced online course. 1 payment, lifetime access. 20+ workouts, a character creation system, boss battles, and one of the most supportive communities in the Galaxy:

Join the NF Academy and start leveling up your character today!

3) Join our free email list, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion! Join a few hundred thousand rebels just like you and I’ll send you a bunch of free guides too. I’m nice like that.

Download our free skinny guy’s guide to putting on muscle!

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Bulk like the Hulk with our rules for getting bigger

  To recap our full article, here are the “12 Rules To Gain Weight Quickly”:

Eat more food to create a caloric surplus

Eat mostly high quality, high calorie food.

Eat enough protein to promote muscle growth.

Eat enough carbs and fats to reach your goals.

Track your progress to make sure you are getting results

Strength training is the key to the RIGHT weight gain

Get stronger to gain weight.

Strength train 3 days per week with plenty of recovery.

Get at least 7-8+ hours of sleep for optimal growth.

Decide if cardio belongs in your workout routine.

Learn how to build muscle with minimal fat gain.

Build the habit of training and eating.

If you have more questions, please leave them in the comments below and I’ll gladly answer them when I get a chance!

You can do this.

Go eat something.

Learn how to do squats and deadlifts.

Do lots of push-ups and pull-ups.

And then eat some more.

-Steve

PS: If you want to read more about this stuff, make sure you check out the following in-depth resources too:

Ultimate skinny guide’s guide to bulking up.

How to build muscle: best exercises and tactics. 

How fast can I build muscle?

9 mistakes skinny people make getting bigger.

6 gym workouts to follow for beginners.

###

photo credit: steak, LEGO Grocery store, lego bread and carbs, pencil, Gregor: Dmitry Klokov 250kg Front Squat Wallpaper – All Things Gym,  W_Minshull Hardcore Stormies Hit The Gym, Speed

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Studies have shown the Mifflin-St Jeor Equation to be very accurate in determining BMR and TDEE

Remember the word “estimate.” We’ll touch on this again soon.

it mostly water weight, some fat, and bit of muscle, but it opened my eyes BIG TIME

Math time: 500 extra calories a day = 1 extra pound gained per week: pubmed

Pubmed: Increased meal frequency does not promote greater weight loss in subjects who were prescribed an 8-week equi-energetic energy-restricted diet.

The Effects of Overfeeding on Body Composition: The Role of Macronutrient Composition – A Narrative Review

Dietary cholesterol doesn’t influence blood cholesterol levels as much as conventional wisdom once thought. Go ahead and eat eggs!

Saturated fat: part of a healthy diet: pubmed

Dietary cholesterol doesn’t influence blood cholesterol levels as much as conventional wisdom once thought. Go ahead and eat eggs!

Pubmed: Protein for Life: Review of Optimal Protein Intake, Sustainable Dietary Sources and the Effect on Appetite in Aging Adults

Pubmed: Evidence that protein requirements have been significantly underestimated.

Examine.com points out in A comprehensive look at protein here

A high protein diet (3.4 g/kg/d) combined with a heavy resistance training program improves body composition in healthy trained men and women–a follow-up investigation.

“Examine: can eating too much protein be bad for you?”

Increasing Lean Mass and Strength: A Comparison of High Frequency Strength Training to Lower Frequency Strength Training

Okay your muscles can’t think or talk. But they DO respond to stimuli by building themselves stronger.

Relationship between sleep and muscle strength among Chinese university students: a cross-sectional study.

Inadequate sleep and muscle strength: Implications for resistance training: study

Okay, FINE. It’s also pumping your heart and fueling your brain and other vital organs and stuff. But you get what I mean.

Endurance Exercise Enhances the Effect of Strength Training on Muscle Fiber Size and Protein Expression of Akt and mTOR: study

The Effects of Overfeeding on Body Composition: The Role of Macronutrient Composition – A Narrative Review

How to Gain Weight Quickly: 12 Tips On What to Eat & How to Train published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/