#i rage ate and drank and ofc this had to come after a good experience bc it always does
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#lovely when there's new situations to add to your this-triggers-me-list#which has me feeling like a feral dog inside#who is feeling unsafe and is just blindly snapping and snarping at everything and everyone viciously#and it feels so wrong wrong wrong#and uncomfortable#and forbidden#and exposed#and weak#and good why is life like this#i rage ate and drank and ofc this had to come after a good experience bc it always does#everything good is followed by a painful shadow#and now i'n crying in bed#which will trigger a histamine/allergy reaction and a migraine at some point in the next 24h#and probably sensory overloar and dissociation#why is this my life#why#why must i live abd suffer#why can i not choose to leave pain behind#the kicker is: its in my house#every day#and i cant get away#i cant#ignore me
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