#i realize this post became more about miguels half of xinamiguel toward the end but

[ayotamacorner]

xina and miguels relationship is sooo good actually. in like a raw, deep, emotional sense. in what they do for each other. specifically what she would've done for him. xina is everything miguel needs in a partner–she holds him accountable, she challenges him to be better than he is. and that makes him uncomfortable. and that should be a GOOD thing, like it should be what he needs to grow and be a better person and not fall into that trap of being stuck under tyler stones thumb at alchemax, but breaking out and being that person for her is hard and it's scary and miguel just wants to live a life where he can stay the smartest guy in the room and live comfortably without having to face that reality. he doesn't wanna throw himself into the unknown of self-discovery, he'd rather just wallow in what he has and pretend he doesn't hate himself. AND ITS LIKE... the things being spiderman does to his character over time, that like, desire to finally grow up and become someone worthy of the good things in his life, whether it's gabriel or xina or whatever else, SHE WOULD'VE DONE FOR HIM had they stayed together. like. aughgh. she was so good for him, and that scared him because since when does miguel o'hara deserve something that perfect, so he had to bring about the self-fulfilling prophecy of his own inability to be worthy of being loved and cheating plotline ensues. ugh his psychology in this relationship makes me insane.