#i realized it fit more with this somg

[demidevildonnie]

my name is dark

[call-of-the-ocean]

hi beloved, may i request annabelle cane 69 for the spotify thing pls 💜

Hurt for me by SYML

ok so the lyrics don't fit super well but for some reason this does give me vibes of annabelle almost lovingly pulling the strings (to her own fate, perhaps)

"For love

I only want you next to me

Sweet love

How long before you hurt for me, hurt for me?

Do you hurt for me?"

[facesofone]

I have maybe an odd question, if that's alright. In January, some stuff happened, and I began to suspect/became aware that I likely have OSDD. For years I have felt like my birth name was more of a label for others to identify me by rather than /my/ name if that makes sense.

I have become aware of at least two different headmates and know their names. So I suppose my question is

Is there a way to know if a name that comes to mind when I'm journalling is the name of an alter or perhaps just a name I think I might like to use for myself?

I realize this is a complicated question and maybe one without an actual answer, and that's totally okay. I'm just confused as heck why I want to call myself a name I've never considered before.

My understanding with OSDD is that there can be no amnesia (for type b) so it's hard to know where I end and someone else begins at points. (Here meaning anytime I feel to the left of myself, but don't feel the two I'm most familiar with around.)

Hey! Lemme begin with I absolutely know where you're coming from. I didn't know that an alter who had formed when we were in military school, all I knew was I was different. The name Jak floated around and became a pen name for a little composition notebook entitled "Lament of Jak" filled with bad poetry, worse drawings, and somg lyrics. For a project in my photography class I submitted a picture of it stabbed by my knife. I thought it would make for a cool picture, but I was also very torn about how I felt about that book.

The name Ian started to feel less and less real as I grew to be Jak, of course I still went by and answered to Ian but it always left me feeling weird. I grew an odd distaste seeing or hearing it.

As far as differentiating names that alters have versus names you're thinking of, my best advice is to feel out what your alter feels most comfortable/identifies with. Atom combed through the names in my head and found one of my old book characters. Luna didn't care what her name was so we just chose that for her because we liked it's connection to the moon (she did too). Kyra actually changed her name a while back, and is much happier as it more accurately fits her.

Coconscious can be rough, in my experience if the name keeps coming back it's either an alter wanting to be called that, or trying to say something; but it's really hard to say, I can share my understanding but only you could know yourself and your system.

Wishing you clarity and understanding!

-Kyra Jak and Atom

PS; But if you're looking for a name for yourself, remember to have fun with it. It doesn't have to define you and you can change it if you feel like something fits you better. Don't be afraid to explore your own identity, you've earned a little understanding after a lifetime of uncertainty.