#i really like how crunchy it looks with the new brushes im playing with

[corpsoir]

💃

[minorpenalties]

50 questions tag

i was tagged by: @jamiesoleksiak and @softgrantaire (thank u bbs ily)

1. what is the color of your hair brush? blue and grey

2. name a food you never eat? bananas 

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold esp my hands and feet

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? doing my makeup lmao

5. what’s your favorite candy bar? i rly like double-deckers atm or crunchies are a classic

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? i’ve seen a pro rugby game

7. what was the last thing you said out loud? idk i think i was singing along to a song

8. what is your favorite ice cream? mint choc chip (controversial ik)

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? wine lmao

10. do you like your wallet? it functions so yeah i guess

11. what was the last thing you ate? curly fries

12. did you buy any new clothing last week? uhhhh no i dont think so

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? does a round of among us count? or one of the last flyers games idk my memory isnt that good

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? butter

15. who was the last person you sent a text to? my irl bff soph

16. ever go camping? too much as a kid 

17. do you take your vitamins? oh shit thanks for the reminder

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? nah im not religious

19. do you have a tan? no i just freckle and/or burn

20. do you prefer chinese or pizza? chinese

21. do you drink soda through straws? depends if im wearing lipstick or not

22. what color socks do you usually wear? i wear all colours

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? 😬 no that illegal yes

24. what terrifies you? small spaces, walking past large groups of people, rejection

25. look to your left, what do you see? my drawers, desk and my wardrobe

26. what chore do you hate the most? taking the bins out

27. what do you think when you hear an australian accent? N I C E

28. what’s your favorite soda? 7up or coke cherry

29. do you ever go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? i don’t really eat fast food but go in i guess

30. what’s your favorite number? 29

31. who’s the last person you talked to? i spoke to my parents on the phone and i texted soph

32. favorite cut of beef? none i dont like beef

33. last song you listened to? elvis isnt dead by scouting for girls

34. last book you read? wild magic by cat weatherill

35. favorite day of the week? any of them except sunday

36. can you say the alphabet backwards? no im dumb

37. how do you like your coffee? mocha with oat or coconut milk

38. favorite pair of shoes? either my white fila or my black air force

39. time you normally get up? over summer it was like 9:30-10am but now im back at uni itll be 7:30am

40. do you prefer sunrise or sunset? sunset

41. describe your kitchen plates? purple, big, round, ikeas finest

42. how many blankets are on your bed? 1 duvet, 1 blanket

43. describe your kitchen at the moment? its kinda empty bc i moved into my uni flat like yesterday

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? pornstar martini or rose wine

45. do you play cards? i like to but i dont do it often

46. what color is your car? i dont own a car atm :( this bitch broke

47. can you change a tire? i know like the basic logistics of how to but ive never actually done it

48. favorite state? (let’s pretend that says country; only picking amongst the ones i’ve been to) andorra, luxembourg or belgium

49. favorite job you’ve had? none of them all of them sucked for one reason or another 

50. tagging: @numbah79 @farabeezer @travisgermy @hartsys +anyone else who wants to i guess !! (pls know if i tagged u, u dont have to if u dont want to!!!! pls i hope im not annoying u)

[sleepyverstappens]

Let’s do this one as well then, thank you @antisoucials for tagging me :D

1. what is the colour of your hair brush? grey

2. name of a food you never eat? too many, but let’s go with brussel sprouts

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching 100 humans

5. what’s your favourite candy bar? kinder bueno

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? nope 😢

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? bye bye - to my friend when we ended our discord voice call.

8. what is your favourite ice cream? one that hasn’t been made in a very very long time but I still miss, melon flavour with chocolate balls in it from Hertog Jan.

9. what is the last thing you had to drink? Taxi multifruit

10. do you like your wallet? hmm it’s alright

11. what was the last thing you ate? a bit of crunchy white chocolate (after some hamburgers) 

12. did you buy any new clothes last week? nope

13. last sporting event you watched? probably some ice skating event if we’re talking irl sports, otherwise the TRL race from friday

14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn? salty

15. who was the last person you sent a message to? my friend in the gc about the picture of the cake she sent

16. ever go camping? yes, it’s been quite a while tho but I do really like it

17. do you take vitamins? nope

18. do you go to church every sunday? not religious

19. do you have a tan? no, im as pale as they come

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza? chinese

21. do you drink soda with a straw? no, i drink straight from the can

22. what colour socks do you wear? atm denim blue

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? like maybe 1 or 2 kms, but I almost never drive

24. what terrifies you? hmm don’t know really

25. look to your left what do you see? playstation controller

26. what chore do you hate? ironing, which is why I never do it

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? Daniel Ricciardo or Steve Irwin

28. what’s your favourite soda? Vanilla Coke

29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru? I don’t have a car, so I have to go inside

30. who was the last person you talked to? my friends

31. favourite cut of beef? steak I guess

32. last song you listened to? Unsteady - X Ambassadors

33. last book you read? as in finished? The Toll by Neal Shustermann, Currently readin Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

34. can you say the alphabet backwards? yes but slowly

35. how do you like your coffee? I don’t drink coffee

36. favourite pair of shoes? converse

37. the time you normally go to bed? 23.00

38. the time you normally wake up? 8.00

39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

40. how many blankets are on your bed? the duvet and an extra blanket

41. describe your kitchen plates? I have dark blue ones, plain white ones and ones which are white with light blue ‘splashes’ over it. 

42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? I don’t drink alcohol

43. do you play cards? sometimes

44. what colour is your car? I don’t have a car

45. can you change a tire? probably not

46. your favourite province? uhh the one I live in, so North-Brabant

47. favourite job you’ve had? I guess my current one, I don’t love it, but it’s definitely better than the supermarket job i had before

48. how did you get your biggest scar? my biggest scar is still pretty tiny, but I cut a piece of the ‘knuckle’ of my thumb of with a cheese slicer. We used to have 2 and the good one was already dirty so i had to use the bad one and yup cut a piece of skin off xD

49. what did you do today that made someone happy? i talked to my friends on discord voice call and played cards against humanity with them, I hope that made them happy. 

I tag whoever wants to do this :D

[nihilismdan]

i was calling, for the last time (we’d been here before)

word count: 1,304 warnings: listen it’s AmazingSkies. It’s mainly just feelings from the past, current dnp are fine, angst if you squint, i promise there’s a happy ending. summary: Phil thinks about Charlie and gets a little sad, but it’s okay. ao3 link: [ x ] a/n: under the cut.

a/n: i just had this in my head and really wanted to write it bc im currently writing my phandom big bang fic and needed a break from it so you get this instead. 

i.

Phil had a pattern for falling for boys who only hurt in the end -- or maybe it’s the middle. He can’t really tell. He didn’t know if it’s because he loves too much or if it was intense infatuation because he knows that he can survive whatever storm the boys he’s ever loved have given him. Maybe he cared too much. These are all things that he’s been screamed at, internally, and externally for a while now. They are the feelings that never really went away, and seeing Charlie’s name pop up for the first time in a couple of years sets him back a little bit. He clicks out of the fan page that explained a brief history of who Charlie was and what he had meant to him. It’s too much.

He was thinking in the past and there’s a strange feeling when he thinks of Charlie and he won’t tell Dan that it’s often that he does think of him. Because he thinks of him over the first crunchy leaf of fall, a reminder to him of the things that he’s done in the wake of a broken heart. He thinks of him whenever he orders a chai tea latte because Charlie had claimed he was trying something new. He thinks of him during birthdays, holidays, and even his own anniversary. He supposes that it’s kind of a fucked up thing to think about but there had been something there -- and when he blinked, it was gone.

He doesn’t know if he loved him. The kind of love where it hurts so bad yet you’d stay because the person was worth it. The first time Charlie told Phil that he had kissed another boy he had exited out of the conversation and had made a video and gone on a walk. And when he had come back Charlie was still waiting on the other line and he had gotten over it, but he didn’t. And he had held it over Charlie’s head like an invisible knife.

“You’re jealous,” Charlie would say, and he’d laugh, dragging it on. He wasn’t. He couldn’t be. Charlie was his best friend and they had a lot of things in common and boys might have been one of them but they didn’t like each other.

“I’m not,”

(Maybe they liked each other too much.)

When Phil thinks about the ways that he dealt with Charlie kissing other boys it brings him sadness that he can’t describe because it hurts, and it aches like an old wound and it shouldn’t. He knows that the reason was because once upon a time, Charlie had held a very special place in his heart, if not his whole heart, but that never meant he couldn’t have feelings for someone else. Charlie had come first in a lot of ways, he could call him on his way to Tesco, or when he heard a song that he’d think he’d like; they were late night conversations, flirty messages and assurance that yeah, they’d still be best friends. Phil thought that he didn’t understand half the promises he made before he made them, and he never meant to hurt anyone but he knew that he must have. Somewhere along the way.

Back then Phil was adventurous and daring when it came to his sexuality, he wanted to try people on and see what fit and how felt, and Charlie might have been an unlikely participant in that, and then, there was Dan.

“Do you like him?” Charlie asks over a skype call and Phil spoke low because he was afraid that someone would hear him even if there was no one. This was a new feeling. He wasn’t scared of what people would think, more of he was scared of what he felt. Scared that if he spoke louder then it wouldn’t be real.

“I think so.”

“That’s cool, Phil.”

ii.

It was a slow process, drifting apart. He had noticed it too much, and would try and fix it, but the responses would become less and less heartfelt and more like he had to reply. That was the worst kind of feeling, being an inconvenience to someone you used to know.

During a late night conversation over a little too much wine, Dan and Phil sat on the floor of their living room with Scrabble in the middle of them. They had been talking about people that they used to be friends with, and how Dan had tried to be friends with his ex but he had done things so abruptly there wasn’t really anytime for good closure but he thinks if they were to be friends now it wouldn’t be that weird. Dan had looked up at Phil who didn’t think too much of it, he had accepted a long time ago that he wasn’t the first person that Dan has ever loved and that was okay with him.

“Do you-” Dan says, putting his last word on the board, “Do you still?” It was a vague question but Phil had already known what he was asking.

“Yeah,” His voice was soft, and he had smiled at Dan a little, trying to be comforting and Dan had nodded his head.

“I don’t always think of… of him. Sometimes, though,” They could be honest about it. Phil had figured out a long time ago that Dan was the kind of person worth fighting for, and that Dan trusted him, and that he would stay, not that Phil would do anything to break that trust, but there were moments in the beginning where he wasn’t sure how all of this would go down- if Dan was temporary or a forever kind of thing. The thought of forever terrified him because even if he wanted to live forever, he didn’t know how he felt with loving someone, one person, forever.

“I, well,” Dan had tried to think of what to say, he had taken a sip of his wine instead. “That’s okay.” And Phil knew it was.

“I love you,” Phil’s foot had brushed against Dan’s, when he stretched his legs.

Dan looked down and smiled, his dimple make a quick appearance and shook his head. “I bet you say that to all the boys who win at Scrabble,” Phil had looked at their points and he was right.

“I take it back, you’re the worst,” Phil pushes the Scrabble to the side and moves closer to Dan, taking his hands. He felt vulnerable.

“I love you too,” Dan had squeezed his hands and then took a deep breath. “The wine made me super tired so I’m going to bed. Are you?”

He had grabbed his glass from the ground and Phil had shook his head. “Not yet. I’ll meet you in there in a bit.”

Phil had grabbed the Scrabble pieces and put it away, and then his glass of wine. He sat on the couch and looked back on that post again.

@charlieskies: @AmazingPhil I’ll always still be here for you if you ever need me. JSYK.

Phil sighed, closing the page again and deleting the history for it.

Phil gets a text message from Dan that’s only the warthog emoji and he smiles.

There’s a feeling of hoping that Charlie is doing okay, and that he’s out there living his best life, and loving someone who loves him back, and that they’re able to play Scrabble together over wine and pizza, and that he has someone who will send warthog emojis because they know it makes you smile. That’s all anyone can really ask for, Phil thinks. He got lucky with that one.

When Phil finally makes it to bed he presses his body against Dan’s, and he’s what he said he was a long time ago: warm. He felt warm.