#i severely hope the picture isn't as big on your guys' screens as it is on mine

[olioli-oxenover]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! Draw Vance more! I love your art style! I'm really curious! Do you have anymore head canons for him? :D

(Its okay if not/feel free to ignore this lol but I just want to say I like your art! )

ofc i'll draw him more! and i have a flipton of headcanons,

i'll post abit more later, since i realized this ask when i needed to head out, and also i have SO many headcanons, i might just spill them in the tags later

[jeongjaebae]

Maybe we'll just keep fallin'

⇢ Juyeon x reader, 3.4k, exes to lovers ⇢ A reunion at an amusement park reminds you of what it feels like to fall.

You've never hated Eric more than at this moment.

He gives you a big smile right when he sees you walking towards where the group is gathered near the entrance of the amusement park, and then runs towards you with his arms stretched out to squeeze the breath out of you.

"Hey," you greet with an attempt at a smile, hoping he doesn't notice the way your mood suddenly falls. "Long time no see."

"Y/N, I've missed you so much!" Eric's hug is even tighter than the last time you've seen him—a clear indication that he's been working out in college because those arms are even stronger as they lift you in a spin that takes you by surprise.

This amusement park trip would've been a perfect excursion on this perfect sunny day; a reunion of friends after a few years and a number of kilometers apart. And you had indeed been looking forward to it up until this point, having excitedly packed your bag and planned your outfit the night before.

However, no one had told you that he would be here too.

You knew it wasn't Eric's fault for inviting the both of you though, for he probably doesn't know about what happened. And when you join the rest of the group, it becomes quite obvious that none of them knew about it. It's as if they were all frozen in time, in the same spot as they stood all those years ago, back when your memories of this very amusement park had been overflowing with feelings for him.

It's not Eric's fault because Juyeon's Instagram remains untouched. Still filled with old pictures of the two of you long after what happened.

"It's nice to see all of you again," you say as you reach the others, looking at each of them one at a time. You wanted nothing more than to avoid looking at Juyeon the entire day, but it's something you couldn't get out of if you wanted to keep pretending everything was fine.

Juyeon was the first one you'd spotted from afar, having immediately recognized his all too familiar figure. But up close, he seems to have changed quite a bit. Like Eric, he definitely bulked up and is no longer super skinny, and then there's the way his skin glows and how his hair falls into place perfectly even with the wind blowing against it. And who wears such nice clothes to an amusement park? He's so stupidly perfect and unaffected that it pisses you off. The only thing that gives you a bit of satisfaction is seeing how he immediately stiffens after seeing you.

Maybe it would be easy to remember that he's no longer the boy you once loved when he seems so different now.

"Alright, let's go!" Eric shouts.

You knew that it was going to be a very long day.

***

"What's wrong? You don't like rollercoasters anymore?" Jacob asks. He raises an eyebrow at the way you eyed the ride all too warily.

You'd joined the line with the rest of them but there's a sense of dread in your steps that hadn't been there before. And while it wouldn't be your first time on this ride, the huge drop no longer seemed as appealing as it once did. Maybe you've developed a bit of a fear.

"I just hate the feeling of falling now," you say, then shrug when Hyunjae shoots you a strange look. "People change, I guess."

When your eyes flicker over to Juyeon intentionally, he's already staring at you.

Sometime while in line, the others all pair up with their seatmates, leaving you and Juyeon at the back together. Maybe it would've reminded you of the time they intentionally left you together when trying to set you up, but things are different now. It annoys you now.

You sigh. "Let's just get this over with."

As you climb into your seat with Juyeon following right behind you, suddenly you get an idea.

"Here, let me get this for you." You shoot him a smile before grabbing the safety bar and pushing it down on him as far as it would go, locking him into the seat with a click. It's much tighter than it needs to be and probably digs into his stomach if his grimace is any indication. Perfect. "Enjoy the ride!"

Then you walk out the other way. Leaving him without a seatmate on the rollercoaster.

A look of utter disbelief spreads on his face and you simply laugh before heading to the exit, where you would wait for his ugly photos to come out. Not that he could ever be ugly, but one could still hope.

As the rollercoaster takes off and he's still glancing at you looking betrayed, there's no time for guilt. Because he was going to go on the ride anyways, you tell yourself. What difference did it make whether it was with or without you? And besides, strapping him in tighter could've been to ensure his safety; it's almost funny how the things we do for the people we love actually end up hurting them the most.

Several minutes later, Juyeon comes back with his hair dishevelled and a frown on his face. Bothered, but still silent. You count that as a win because unfortunately for you, his photos turn out looking just fine. In fact, they turn out all too similar to the set you once carried around in your phone case—the same ride and the same expression, only the seat beside him hadn't been empty in that one.

He doesn't say anything as you take out your phone to quickly snap a photo of the preview on the screen, calling him ugly the entire time anyways.

The loud noises and flashy lights in every direction try to grab your attention as heading to the next ride has you walking through all the carnival games in the park. Prizes are dangling at every stall, the smell of colourful snacks and the cheerful voices of children filling the air. For a while, you don't mind it when Juyeon falls into step beside you at the back of the group.

Until his hand accidentally brushes yours. And his touch sends you reeling.

"You okay?" his eyes flash with concern. He hangs back to wait for you while the rest of the group continues on without notice.

"Yup," you slap on the most dazzling fake smile you could muster. "Never been better."

It was a close call; for a second you thought your resentment towards him faltered like your feet did.

They've stopped at a beanbag toss game where Hyunjae points out how much Sunwoo looks like the raccoon plushie hanging in the section of prizes, and Changmin is taking bets that Sangyeon's bad luck would make him lose every game he plays. Juyeon bets against it. You bet for it.

The man running the game gestures dramatically, beckoning your group over. "See something you like? Step right up! Only three tickets to win the biggest prizes in the entire park."

Normally you would've walked away. Everyone knows that carnival games are rigged so there was no point in wasting your tickets, but once again, an idea occurs. Three tickets to get a chance to hit your ex? Hell yeah, you were definitely in.

The man gives you a wink as you go to hand in your three measly tickets, with Juyeon following closely behind. You had a feeling he would participate too, though you don't know why.

As you settle into your spot at the counter, you realize that the booth is quite empty. None of your friends are there anymore, somehow having disappeared so suddenly without a trace—leaving you alone with Juyeon once again.

"Why are they always putting us together," you mutter under your breath.

"Because they don't know about—"

"Yeah, no shit." You roll your eyes at him. Why was he answering a rhetorical question anyways? "Whatever. Let's get on with the game already."

When the game starts, Juyeon is oblivious beside you as he concentrates on the distance to the target. Competitive as usual, you assume, though this time it wouldn't be for the purpose of winning you a giant plushie like he did before. And the old you might've tried to get a good score to impress him, but the new you isn't like that anymore.

You almost feel bad when you take a step away from the booth and gaze at the back of his head. There's a sense of hesitation because does he really deserve this? Getting your revenge when he's not even looking is a little too harsh isn't it? But you quickly wipe those thoughts away. One beanbag to the head isn't going to make up for all the times he promised not to break your heart yet ended up doing it anyways.

Juyeon whips around and gives you a hard stare after your beanbag successfully strikes the back of his head and then lands at his feet. Bullseye!

"Oh, did I hit you?" Your voice drips with a sarcastic sweetness. "Oops, sorry."

The rest of your beanbags are tossed messily without really caring where they land now that you've accomplished your goal, and his shots seem too distracted after getting hit.

He remains impassive as the two of you find your way back to the rest of your friends who appear just as suddenly as they disappeared.

"That was a nice shot." Hyunjae gives you a high-five. The way Juyeon glances at him sharply almost makes you burst out laughing. "Too bad you didn't win a prize."

You don't tell him that it might be even better than winning a prize. "You saw that? But where did you guys go?"

"Oh um, Eric kind of had an emergency. In the bathroom." Hyunjae gives you a wry smile then takes off before you could ask more.

You stick with Sunwoo for the rest of the day, clinging onto him so closely that he has no opportunity to leave you with your ex again. He occasionally gives you questioning glances and you feel slightly embarrassed; it wasn't your intention to make things awkward, but surely your friends should've all sensed something strange by now? Surely they couldn't still see you and Juyeon as a couple?

The last jab you took at him was on the spinning teacup ride, a final ride at the end of the day just as the sun was setting. The rest of your group had split themselves equally into two teacups, leaving no room for the two of you though you could see through the way they intentionally sprawled themselves across the seats to fill up the space.

So once again, you were left with Juyeon. But this time, you don't complain because you had another plan up your sleeve.

As soon as the ride starts along with the horrible carnival music, you're grabbing the wheel at the center and turning it as fast as you could. It makes the teacup spin and spin, round and round until the rest of the world is a blur of lights and colours around you. Somehow it makes the teacup feel all too small. It's as if you and Juyeon were the only ones existing as everything else blends together.

"Y/N, stop," he shouts at some point, but you pay no attention as your hands continue to move the steering wheel mechanically. "You're going to get dizzy!"

And he's right. Because eventually the teacup slows to a full stop, but the world continues to spin and prevents you from getting to your feet and walking out.

"Are you okay?" Juyeon reaches for you then pulls back at the last moment. "Why did you spin it so much?"

Just seeing the way he looks perfectly fine standing there makes you feel the contents of your stomach churn. His perfect face and his perfect hair and his perfectly indifferent expression. Had your plan backfired? At this point, could anything you do even affect him the way his presence affected you so much?

You attempt at getting to your feet again and it just barely works this time. "Ugh, why aren't—you dizzy—"

"You spun it that hard just to get me dizzy?" Juyeon's voice gives no hints to what he's thinking.

"Shut up."

His touch stings when he ends up wrapping an arm around you, holding you up as you walk out of the ride together. Usually you would've thrown him off and pushed him away, but in your state of trying not to die, you give in and let him guide you to a pavilion with some picnic benches.

"Sit here."

It's quieter here when you're out of the crowd. A little easier to breathe. You focus on the way the air tastes, cooler now that the sun has gone down but still lingering with the sweetness of cotton candy from a nearby vendor. The world slows down and finally stills under your feet, and the waves of nausea quickly recede.

"Why are you doing all this?" Juyeon blurts, and you can finally see something underneath those unreadable eyes of his. The whole day he's put up with your antics without ever saying anything, but now you could see the blaze the lies just beneath the surface.

It feels like a taste of victory.

"Doing what?"

"You know what."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you say carefully.

He gives an exasperated sigh, pacing around in front of the bench you sat at. "Do you hate me that much?"

"I—"

Yes, you wanted to say. Because hating him has never left your mind for the past few years. Because you did want to resent him. To hurt him the way that he hurt you when he decided to cut off all ties with you so your long-distance relationship wouldn't hold you back during college. Maybe he'd thought it was the right thing to do but it was such a stupid reason and he was so stupid and—it all hurt. So yes, maybe you'd imagined getting your revenge someday when you met him again.

But doing all those things today didn't make you feel any better and seeing him like this is different from what you'd imagined.

Juyeon's steps finally stop, and he sits down on the bench beside you. "If you do, it's okay. I get it. I would hate me too."

A silence settles in between you and the crickets in the background are almost too loud. The last of the sun's fading glow surrender to a blanket of darkness that contrasts with the warm glow of the fairy lights in the small pavilion. Being here in any other context might be romantic. It reminds you all too much of what happened the first time.

"Why?" you ultimately ask despite already knowing the answer. "Why would you hate yourself?"

"For hurting you. For even thinking that we'd be better off apart because the past four years have only made me miserable with regret," he admits. "So yes, hurt me. Let out your pain." He pounds on his chest a couple of times and then stretches his arms out, waiting. "I can take it. Just don't hurt yourself."

"Juyeon..."

The amount of times you'd wished to hear those words over the years. He did call that one time, though your roommates had taken your phone and blocked him before you could get a chance to find out what he might've said. It was something that you'd wondered about during the times you'd drank a little too much, when you'd cried over nothing, when the feeling of falling had become falling into the depths of darkness instead of falling in love like it once was.

Maybe now, you're finally getting your answer.

Your fists are weak where they collide with his chest repeatedly, one after another, as if doing so would make his heart hurt as much as yours did. And he just takes it.

But then he's wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close until you give in. Until you completely melt against him. Until there's the warmth of his body against you and the tears that slip down your cheeks land on his shirt.

"Y/N, you have no idea how much I missed you," he whispers, breath coming out against your hair where he runs his hand through like he did before. "I'm sorry. For everything."

His scent enveloping you as he holds you, the dim glow of lights above you—it all reminds you of what happened all those years ago at this very place. It had been the same park and the same friends as today, but the exhilaration was from the way he grabbed your hand to pull your closer, not from being up high in that swing ride. The dizziness you'd felt was after he kissed you for the first time, and not from some spinning teacup ride. And when had the heart fluttering feeling of falling been from falling in love, and not simply from a rollercoaster ride?

But soon you do find yourself falling again.

It's not like the first time he kissed you here, when sparks fly and the world spins and your heart pounds so hard you thought it would burst. This time when his lips are on yours and he fits against you so perfectly, it's like coming home after being too far for too long. Everything feels so familiar yet new, like rereading your favourite book and rediscovering all of your favourite passages as you relearn each line and curve of his body. He may be different from what you remembered from all those years ago, but the way his gentle hands cup your cheeks, the brushing of his knees against yours, the way you can taste the salt of tears and faint sweetness of cotton candy on his lips. Everything is still so distinctly him, something that even the space and time between you couldn't ever change.

"Lee Juyeon," comes out in a whisper against his lips as you pull back to catch your breath, "you're so stupid."

"Only when it comes to you." He breaks into a smile, the first genuine smile that you've seen all day and it seems to light up the world. "I'll make it up to you, I promise. Even if it takes me the rest of my life."

"You're making this sound like a proposal."

Juyeon gives a choked laugh. "Um, not that I would be against it, but let's take this one step at a time first, yeah?"

And when you look at him, truly look at him, this time you can see the same boy you loved for all these years. You let those eyes draw you in and finally let yourself sink into the memories that you kept pushing away and burying. There's a tinge of pink on his cheeks and they're hot under your fingertips as you reach to pull him in again and—

"It's about time," a booming voice suddenly interrupts, making the two of you spring apart. Eric claps as he walks into the pavilion joined by the rest of the group, a mischievous smile on his face.

"It only took them all day," Sunwoo rolls his eyes. "I was dying over here when Y/N started following me around. Totally deserve an Oscar for my acting today."

"Hey, that's not true! I definitely noticed you giving me weird looks."

It's not surprising that your friends had known about the breakup after all, though you just hadn't expected them to have known even before this trip. The deja vu takes you back to the last time you were here, how your first kiss as a new couple was nearly interrupted by Eric's cheers and Sunwoo's expressions of disgust.

"Before you start freaking out—no, nobody told us," Eric says. "Nobody needed to because it was so obvious. We only pretended to not know in the hopes that you'd finally put each other out of your misery."

"And while it's good that you guys did, the highlight of this trip has got to be watching Y/N bully Juyeon all day," Hyunjae bellows and nods towards Juyeon. "I don't know what you did to deserve that, but you probably deserved it."

Soon there are sounds of laughter filling the pavilion and it makes your heart feel full in a way that you hadn't felt in a long time. As if there had been a weight you didn't even know you had on you, and now it's been lifted off your shoulders and you finally feel light enough to join in with their laughter.

As fireworks fill the night sky and Juyeon intertwines his fingers with yours on the walk back, it quickly becomes clear that the falling back together was as easy as it had been the first time.

[mrs-all-amukeian]

All this wedding talk is making me upset and I just sense that Michael isn't completely happy but I hope whatever he is doing, he'll find true happiness through it all

Ah yes, the time has finally come to rant about my favorite couple on this planet!!

Mystal has to be the shadiest couple I have had the pleasure of witnessing. There is so many things wrong with this couple (including the ridiculous age difference that would’ve caused a massive outrage if it were the other way around) but let’s start with the one and only, Crystal Leigh. Crystal is a b-i-t-c-h and when I say bitch, I mean bitch, This grown ass woman (what is she now, 35? 36?) has the audacity to fight with young fans (myself included) just because they called her out for her horrible past. Now, we all have made mistakes before when we were teenagers and have grown since then, but this woman has made all these mistakes in her late twenties and refuses to take responsibility for any of them. Fat shaming, using several slurs, and making fun of mental disorders is not something a grown woman should do and I would advise that she take notes from Michael who actually took responsibility for one sexist joke he made when he was fifteen! Another thing to add is that Crystal is a PR manager and has managed several celebrities (no A or B list celebs though) so she has her way around things and is no rookie here. 

 Now that we discussed that Crystal was no angel before meeting Michael, let’s bring up the numerous holes they have in their relationship timeline. In Michael’s engagement post on Instagram, he claims that it “all started for them” in Bali 3 years ago, where at the time, Crystal was still with Spencer (his posts at the time can confirm that) and some have already speculated that she was having an affair with Michael at the time because he kept posting about her and you can actually see them getting cozy in the background of some videos posted by friends. After the first Bali trip, Crystal was STILL with Spencer but yet, she had a picture of her and Michael kissing in Bali as his iMessage contact picture on her Macbook screen. As much as I hoped that Michael wasn’t the “homewrecker” type, he clearly knew she was in a relationship no matter what his intentions first were (rather it is PR or not). The Bali trip took place right after the band finished a big headlining tour, where the original plan was according to the boys, move to LA (where Calum and Ashton share a place & Michael and Luke share a place) but that did not happen. From what we eventually figured out, Luke had moved in with Arz, Cashton moving in together, and then Michael mysteriously living somewhere else. There was a picture Michael  posted in January of 2016 of a coffee mug and along with some of his stories, you can see that he was staying at a familiar apartment which ended up being Crystal’s place. So now that we can indicate that this relationship was a mess from the start, let’s continue to their current situation.

Michael is somebody who we used to mock at for always sitting his ass at home playing video games instead of clubbing with his bandmates because he hated that lifestyle but hey! throw Crystal in the picture and *poof*,just like magic, Michael is DJing at multiple clubs with “friends” and “friends of friends”. Michael has mentioned before that he gets social anxiety and sometimes prefers being alone rather than being somewhere crowded but yet, Crystal is dragging him along like one of her dogs to a ridiculous party with her plastic LA friends and people he hardly knows. I really do hope Michael is genuinely happy with this brand new lifestyle and isn’t just doing this for the sake of Ms.Sponsorship. Anybody with eyes can see that since the start of the relationship, e v e r y t h i n g posted by Crystal has to be either promo or a sponsorship. While this probably won’t be a surprise coming from Crystal (since my sis wants to secure her bag) but it’s a shock coming from Michael who’s doing it too now and if you look back at his old posts before Crystal, he has never tagged or mentioned a sponsor in his life. It’s one thing to tag a brand or location, but to tag every single detail on posts and stories is insane. All I’m saying is that nothing in this so called relationship adds up and it honestly looks like one big marketing scheme since literally everything they do is just looks like business (why is every single picture they take together staged and looks so awkward and unnatural? Imagine having a photographer following you around just to “capture the love” its fucking ridiculous LMAO)

One last thing I would like to discuss is the engagement and so-called wedding that everyone keeps bringing up to me. If one of my closest friends that i’d consider a brother gets engaged, I would be over the moon with excitement but yet, not a single one of his bandmates has peeped a word or even congratulated either one of them. The proposal itself is so funny because it took place in Bali, where their supposed affair began, and it was not even paid for by Michael, but by fucking GUESS, the clothing company that only invited Crystal and her friends for a photoshoot LMAOO. Let’s not forget how the Daily Mail somehow got access to every detail about this engagement (from their first song to ring size) and “professional photos” before he even brought it up to the public himself. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but wouldn’t it be nice to actually have the most important people in your life (maybe um like your bandmates or parents?) to be there and witness when you propose to the love of your life and not just some nameless models you met a week ago? The band clearly doesn’t give a shit about Crystal but obviously try to be supportive for the sake of Michael even though they have not once shown an ounce of support in the past 3 or so years they’ve been together. The fact that Michael getting engaged at 23 is just sad and crazy. Don’t get me wrong, it is perfectly fine for anyone to get married anytime after 18 but it’s the matter of should you set yourself up to be tied down at such an early age? Michael has spent every year since the start of his career on his feet and working, not being able to discover himself or live on his own for once. I feel like an older woman who clearly lived our her years as a teen and her entire twenties is capable of settling down but not a 23 year old man who hasn’t truly found himself yet and I feel like he’s trying to convince himself that he is happy even though his face says otherwise. At the end of the day, if Ms. Promotion wasn’t a piece of shit and Michael at least looked like he had an ounce of happiness in him, I would support the shit out of this couple and maybe even throw rice myself at their wedding (that might not even happen since Michael never brings it up and doesn’t even fucking know the year he wants to tie the knot LMAOO)

Anyways, long read I know but this can probably answer all the asks I have about my opinion on Mystal and the non-existant wedding that will take place in the year 20whofuckingknows 

[rndyounghowze]

An Evening of Online Plays Right in our Living Room Directed by Missouri S&T Theatre

By: Ricky and Dana Young-Howze

St. Louis, Missouri

It was a cool and rainy evening when Dana and I followed the Zoom link and joined viewers across the country to see "An evening of Online Plays"

Produced by Missouri S&T Theatre. One of our dear friends Erin Lane had one of her pieces in the bill of four 10 minute plays to be presented that night and invited us to come watch. This night of online theater, produced by Taylor Gruenloh and presented by Missouri S&T theatre students was our first time reviewing a Zoom Production and definitely will not be our last.

This was directed by two students of Missouri S&T's directing program. When classes were cancelled for Victoria Hagni and Madeline Lechner their professor Taylor Gruenloh knew that unless they actually produced a finished project it wouldn't feel as if the two students weren't getting the most out of their independent study. So they quickly changed gears and commissioned ten minute plays from four playwrights from my graduate program Hollins University that would work perfectly in a Zoom format. This livestream is that final result.

It's worth mentioning what Dana and I are looking for when we review a production produced on an online platform streamed out of people's homes. We of course are looking at the level of acting and the production value of the plays but we are also looking at how this new medium of performance is taken advantage of and how the artists worked within those constraints. We are definitely as much beginners at reviewing this as the artists are performing in it. We also know that these students were ramping up and learning for something completely different than pioneering a new artform so we empathize. So now that we know we're both adjusting to a learning curve let's get down to the nitty gritty.

We've decided to talk about the plays grouped by the director not in the order that they were presented and since these were brand new plays written just for the production we're reviewing the plays too.

First we're looking at the plays directed by Madeline Lechner.

De-Equalized by Amy Lytle is a play about two students Katie (played by Natalie Arnold) and Jordan (played by Adam Bateman) who are working on a group project while they are separated on spring break.

I'll admit putting this play up as the first play we see was a very eerie experience. Not just because it was about two students talking about a group project over Zoom but also because this was Dana and my first primer into what a Zoom production is. Seeing the screen jump back and forth between the two actors like it was cutting back and forth like in a movie was bizarre but I was immediately intrigued by the possibilities.

I was very impressed with the actors trying their hardest to emote to somebody that is not physically in the room with them. I felt like Arnold did a better job at this than her acting partner. I can only imagine having to not only keep myself cheated open for the audience but also knowing that my acting partner is a small post card sized picture on a screen. Also knowing that your performance depends on the connectivity of your device and the tilt of your camera is probably as big of a rush as tightrope walking. But because of this feeling of risk some of their emotions seemed to go stagnant. I needed to feel like this energy could travel eight hundred miles.

This could have been an acting problem but I definitely feel like some of this sits on Lechner's shoulders as a director. If the energy isn't shaking the rafters you definitely need to find ways to ramp your actors up. But we also feel like the playscript didn't give them higher stakes to begin with. Not everyone reveals family secrets doing homework. Also Dana never believed she was going to walk out on him which really did kill the stakes.

As for the play Dana noticed there was a lot of exposition about scholarship and financial aid that anyone watching a college show would know. We would hope that in a further draft the playwright would trust her audience more. I loved the idea of students finding out something about a friend that they didn't know before but also wish that the action had started way earlier. The play spent so much time on exposition I feel like the play didn't start until the eight minute mark and then they only had two minutes left. In a future draft I really hope this is addressed.

Also directed by Lechner was Breathe by Erin Lane a play about Dory (played by Raelyn Twohy) and Michael (played by Michael Ellis) two parents having to coparent while being separated and trying to calm each other down while also trying to appear strong for the other.

I love that this play made use of ANY kind of action and it was a great refresher from Lechner's previous piece. I still would have asked for much more. Also Dana got the sense that this play was supposed to have a lot of chaos in it but in her words it was "the calmest chaos she's ever seen". I agree. Especially if this is a play about getting the results of a test be it Covid-19, AIDS, pregnancy, or even strep I think you would feel a TAD more tense than that. This harkens back to what I said before about Lechner and getting energy out of her performers. As a director I will tell her you have to do whatever it takes to get that energy out of your cast because if we as an audience don't feel it we're gone. This was a great first outing and if I'm sounding tough it's because I feel she does have potential to do well in the future. Just get that energy in!

As for the acting it seemed that while Dana and I believed the Dad instantly we felt something was "held back" from us. We don't know if that was an acting problem or a writing problem. I am leaning heavily towards acting because of the several "I forgot my line" pauses and constant repeats of cue lines we normally see in high school productions. I personally think it must have been hard to show so much emotion just using your eyes and not having a full stage to work with but if these pauses normally just slow down a stage show on Zoom they felt like an eternity.

This play utilized my very favorite kind of exposition where everything we needed to know about the action was fed to us through something that we already knew. We all know that kind of back and forth between a Mom and Dad as they suss out parenting. But then you have this through the lens of long distance. Someone can't be home and now they have to trust someone else to get it done. This is the coolest kind of love story for me. However due to dropped lines and pauses I totally lost the part where Dory is a nurse and that she's taking a Covid-19 test. Dana had to tell me based on her scrubs. I hope that a future production of this play has the faster pace and the higher stakes it deserved.

Also a quick note: I know that no one is really pioneering Zoom set design just yet but I feel that I have to mention the black curtain behind Ellis's back. Dana and I have a running joke where we wonder if there is a "different play behind the curtain" that's more interesting than the one we're seeing. This presented a literal version of that for us where we spent more time wondering what was behind that curtain than listening to what he was saying. Out of love for these actors and with mad respect for what they're doing even if the curtain is hiding dead bodies we kinda hope it isn't there in the future. You guys rock and deserve better than that.

Next we'll be talking about the plays directed by Victoria Hagni.

In Scaramouch and Pinochle by Mike Moran we meet Lizzie (played by Megan Baris) and Bella (played by Haley Jenkins) two sisters who were separated when they were little and adopted by families across the country. Now they're reconnecting.

I loved that this play involved some action that fills up the camera frame and that Hagni gave the actresses some business to do such as painting nails and looking for things. If you think of the screen as your proscenium arch then you start to realize that you can utilize all of that space to tell your story.

Dana loves the use of props and the chemistry between the two actresses even though there were some moments that seemed like they were talking more at the screens than to each other. As you guys know I'm a sucker for puppets so even a sock puppet wormed it's way into my heart.

As for the script I feel like the realization about the Mom’s death and other family drama wasn’t "earned". There was no build up to it so I don't know whether it really happened or if our character was just lying. Where the chemistry between the actresses seemed natural the tense moments in the play didn’t seem natural. Overall it was a very cute play and with a couple more revisions it would be perfect.

In Folies a Deux/Pas de deux by Kevin D. Ferguson we meet Amanda Toye as Woman and Luke Goekner as Man. They are a couple with an interesting history and reconnecting after a long time.

I absolutely ADORED the use of the whole kitchen and room as a playing space. Having her start "upstage" at the counter and then moving the camera around as she moved dropped us into the world of the play. This was the first time that I forgot I was watching a Zoom play and just started watching the show. If I have to give one criticism to Hagni at all it is that I would have loved to see this kind of blocking in her previous piece.

I really commend the actors for really knowing their lines, really getting this blocking down, and committing to it. I mean somebody made cupcakes for this show! That's commitment.

Dana feels like this one was the most theatrical because it would definitely work on a stage AND online. This was the play that she absolutely believed with all her heart. I was totally pulled in. This is one of those plays that just make you want to sit in front of a computer and write a play.

The hardest part I'm going to notice about directing and writing for this medium is that you're simultaneously directing a theatre production and producing a movie. The actors aren't just actors they become directors of photography. The only difference between these plays and a movie is that a movie would be recorded for later and edited by someone else. I'm predicting that the most successful Zoom productions will be the ones that blur these lines. Is this naturalistic theatre or an indie found footage film. Who knows and who cares? Actors are not just emoting as if they're in the smallest of black box theaters but also thinking in terms of setups and dynamic camera angles. This is going to be a hard skill to master and in thirty or so years we'll be reading textbooks about the people who started this trend thinking about how we were all just figuring it out.

Also I'm looking forward to the day when we literally don't have the big pink elephant of COVID-19 in the room with us. Right now anytime you see a play livestreamed we all kind of know why it's not being presented onstage. So effectively even if the play doesn't explicitly say so it inherently is about this pandemic I know it's going to be at least a few years before this isn't the case but I will welcome it with open arms.

You have one more opportunity to see this production tonight May 9th at 7 PM Central Time. For those of you teaching theatre right now it might be an excellent tool or opportunity to talk about this evolving theatre climate. Follow this link right here and enjoy the show!

[ryujin-zanba]

this is a fic that my very dear friend @katherine-ciejek encouraged me to write (*´∀｀*) she had a huge hand in coming up w/ ideas for this so please check out her writing @imagine-some-fluffy-asks and credit her too ;3;

i’ll be posting this story in five installments. it’s reader/ebumi and is v plot heavy~ tw; for body image issues, angst, hurt/comfort & verbal abuse. the first chapter includes all of these things as well as his abuser before the reader appears but dw its a happy ending with lots of fluff  (•́ ω•̀)

“Heh, Masaru, you’re so cute.”

“Nah,” the blond grins slyly, leaning on the door frame with his eyes transfixed on his partner, “you’re the cute one!” “Come on babe, shirt off,” they playfully command. “I’ve been waiting to see my big, strong, rugby-playing boyfriend shirtless all week.” They say it with particular enunciation on those all-defining masculine features, and perhaps there’s a little too much pride in the term ‘rugby-playing boyfriend’ specifically. Ebumi is oblivious to any potential for ulterior motives, or the possibility that he is being used, however. It’s been a long time since the second-year delinquent has felt this much purpose and excitement in life. Being in a relationship has turned lonely nights with rented DVDs and cigarette breaks driven by fits of anxiety into a thing of the past. It is amazing how having one special person can flip everything around. They have become his idol; a thing of worship and Ebumi hasn’t ever considered himself a romantic before, but love has proven itself to be a many-splendored thing indeed. Perhaps this unabashed, unrestrained flood of devotion and dependence on one person is why it is so hard to put himself back together when he feels, for just an awful moment, that every fragment he used to build his world has been smashed, swept up, and put in the bin along with his heart. He quickly brushes aside the comment. He must have heard it wrong, or misinterpreted it. His love would never intentionally hurt him like that, of course they wouldn’t! It’s his fault, obviously. He’s an idiot after all; stupid Ebumi who’s only good for getting into fights and lending out money. Naturally he would take things the wrong way, that’s just his bad habits reappearing. “Oh… wow, I did not expect you to look like that,” they said with deliberate and apparent distaste.  “H— how do you mean?” Ebumi murmurs, his grip tightening on the hem of his shirt after at first being so eagerly removed. “Come here; let me take a closer look at you.”

He obliges. His partner is surely keen to disprove themselves and simply wants to reaffirm how much they adore him, just like they said. They had said that. ’Masaru, you’re so cute.’ He remembers it!

“Are those… oh my g— for real? Do you have stretch marks?! You do! Look!”

“Huh?” Ebumi flinches, looking down at his hips; dimpled where his partner’s fingertips press without care into the plush skin. “Oh gosh,” they chuckle then, “look at this belly as well, that’s not what it’s meant to be like.” “What do you mean? Why isn’t it?” Ebumi wonders, trying so hard not to react to it as if it’s an insult. 

Of course it isn’t, his love would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. It’s his fault: stupid Ebumi… who really feels like crying.

“Well, y'know… good looking rugby players are all fit and toned. No stretch marks or muffin tops,” they snicker. “Like Sekizan! He’s how I imagine a real rugby player to look!”

That cuts through him like a white hot blade angled straight at his heart, and he squirms uncomfortably as he tries to get out of their scrutinising grip.

Their fingers only press deeper into his hips when he retreats though, his partner squinting in a way that can only be described by him as hateful. Like they hate what they see, they hate how he is; they hate him, because he’s not Sekizan. “B— babe,” he tries weakly, his voice breaking as he pushes away their vicious hands. “Mm,” his partner responds thoughtfully as they relinquish their clawed hold and slump over the edge of the bed. “Well, you’re okay, I guess. Not quite there… but you’re alright.” “W— what can I do?” Ebumi pleads, almost immediately accepting this treatment when he comes to the conclusion that if he doesn’t try to appease his love then they will abandon him. “Mmmm,” they ponder in a listless tone. “Maybe just keep your shirt on to be honest. At least I can pretend you’re different under there then.” Ebumi’s heart is fragile, contrary to what others would expect of him, but this is more than enough to wound anyone immeasurably, and possibly even beyond repair. The aching weight in his chest sinks right into the pit of his stomach as a heavy, painful sadness branches out into his extremities. You said you loved me how I am, he wants to reason, but he’s become apathetic all of a sudden, his sense of conviction and self-esteem in complete tethers. “I… I should go home,” he manages to grind out through chattering teeth, tugging his shirt on and hiding his ugly, shameful body that has allegedly repulsed his partner so much. “Might be best, I’m not really in the mood now, y'know?” They say as if that’s perfectly reasonable and that he has utterly disappointed them. “I— I’ll call you,” Ebumi promises, hoping that if he walks away now and tries again tomorrow he’ll be graced with the realisation that this whole thing was nothing more than a nasty dream. “Oh you don’t have to babe, I’ll call you actually!” They lie smoothly, masking their malice with the sweet dressing of a pet-name. Ebumi tries his best to smile after he’s fully dressed himself again and is about to close the door behind him. “B— bye— goodnight,” he stutters, nodding before taking his leave. He’s glad it’s dark so that no one can see the bitter tears streaming down his burning cheeks as he leaves his partner’s house. He’s glad no one is ever home for him, either, when he curls up in bed, ignoring the note and the money from his mother. And he’s glad that no one cares that he’s crying himself to sleep without dinner.

That awful evening rudely persists in the fact that it was, tragically, reality. Ebumi has felt rotten for days; he hasn’t eaten, he hasn’t stopped crying, and he hasn’t been to school once.

He just lays in bed, not daring to walk past a mirror, and staring hopefully at the harsh bright screen of his phone, clinging to the possibility that he’ll get a text from his love that will alleviate his worries and his desperation. For three days though he receives nothing, except from his teammates reminding him of an upcoming match. He ignores them all, even Matsuo. There’s nothing and no one else that he needs as much as his partner. Even just a vacant, ‘hi there,’ would satiate him. But, funnily enough, not long after thinking this, he is blessed with something just like that… from you. He frowns at his phone, having thought he’d temporarily blocked any incoming messages from anyone besides his partner, but there you are on his lock-screen. It’s a picture message, and he deliberates over opening it; his thumb dancing above the home button before, for whatever reason he decides to, he actually clicks it.

'Made me think of you, isn’t it cute??’ Is the caption that accompanies a rather disgruntled looking tawny owl with ruffled feathers and one eye narrowed, squinting at the camera.

Regardless of the state he’s in and the misery he has allowed himself to succumb to, for the first time in three whole days, Ebumi smiles and begins to type back.

'Y bcoz he’s fuck ugly ?’

You get his message, and are quick to return it, knowing what a breakthrough this is given that no one else has heard from him.

'Nooo, he’s beautiful! (´；Д ；｀)’ you insist.

For a split second upon reading this, a flitter of genuine belief and gratefulness blossoms, and Ebumi almost begins to type out a desperate plea to know if you are serious and if you think that of him.

He shakes his head and scowls, berating himself quietly before he settles for, 'where did u c him ?’

'In the park~ they came for a day out with the bird sanctuary LOL’

He’s at a loss for how to reply to that. He has no energy to ask more questions that won’t really lead to much in the way of substantial conversation, but at the same time, he doesn’t want you to stop talking.

His heart jumps a little when he sees that you’re already writing another message though, and he gnaws his thumb in anticipation, a slight curl to the corner of his mouth.

'So hey! the guys said you’ve been off for a while, if you’re ill do you want any shopping bringing over or anything?’

You know full well that he isn't ill. That is just Ebumi’s default cover story for the times he takes off to brood or avoid people while he gets over something, but you humour the facade for his sake, knowing there’s probably a good reason for his distance.

'Nah thnx,’ he types with a smile, 'b back 2morrw ᕙ(•̀∀•́)ᕗ’

'Back to torment us so soon Ebucchi ψ(ಥ◇ಥ)Ψ’

The blond laughs out loud as he reads your final message, and he goes over the conversation several times, renewing his grin every instance he relives the interaction.

Tonight he finds the will to order himself food, and he goes to sleep surprisingly without a single thought of the message he’d been waiting on all this time, but of seeing you in class the next day instead.