#i should be asleep i have convention tomorrow wish me luck

[kotofeden]

Happy unnecessary feelings day pals 💖💖💖

[wildefiction]

Focus

PAIRING: Rob x Reader x Chris

CHAPTER: 12/?

WORD COUNT: 2,176

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Cute fluff, Stressed Reader, Gossip, Frustration

A/N: Here's chapter 12 to the collaboration @natasha-cole and I are writing - enjoy!

With a reassuring pat on your shoulder, Kim smiled before pulling open the door to the ladies’ room. Bri, ever the optimist, wrapped an arm around your shoulders and walked out with you. Bidding you good-night and good luck, the two of them sauntered back over to the decidedly smaller group of people they’d been sitting with earlier.

Wandering back over to the couch with the conversation you’d just had with the girls still fresh in your mind, you began to gather your things, fully intent on heading back to your room.

Rob’s tired smile greeted you from where he still sat on the couch. Lifting himself from the cushions, he raised his arms, stretching while trying to stifle a yawn.

Realizing your own exhaustion, you glanced at the phone in your hand to see how late it was. The screen read three-forty-five. How you’d managed to stay awake this long, you weren’t sure. Though it may have had something to do with the company you’d kept and the conversations you’d had in the several hours that had passed since you’d followed Kim up from the green room.

“I don’t know how you guys do this every weekend.” Smiling at the man in front of you when he reached for your hand, the question in your eyes was undeniable as his warm fingers laced themselves through yours.

“You get used to it, or rather, some of us do. We see each other a lot, but Saturday nights – everyone is so hyped up after the concert that we couldn’t sleep right away if we tried.”

Nodding your understanding as the two of you made your way to the door, you let his answer sink in. He must have mistook your silence for discomfort however, and as his thumb smoothed over your knuckles, you were brought back to the present.

“You okay?” Concern mingled with the fatigue on his face, and you smiled. The idea that someone could read you well enough to tell the difference between your being tired and upset was a new idea for you. For a moment, you considered just talking to him right then. The halls were quiet as he walked you back towards your room, but the thought was brief. You knew you’d rather be completely present for the conversation you’d be having with both him and Chris. Squeezing his hand, you nodded.

“Just tired. I don’t think I’ve been up this late in ten years.” “I’m actually debating whether it’s even worth it to sleep at this point.”

Rubbing your free hand across your face, the small movement seemed to bring with it the full weight of your exhaustion.

“Trust me, you’re going to want to sleep as much as you can. Don’t wanna show up for work in the morning and not be at the top of your game. It’s J2 day after all.”

Nudging your shoulder as the two of you approached your door, Rob stopped short, pulling you around and into a sweet hug. The steady beating in his chest threatening to make you fall asleep standing right where you were. Pressing his lips to your forehead, he smiled sleepily.

“Get some sleep, [Y/F/N] – I’ll see you tomorrow. Or…rather, later today.”

Nodding to yourself, but finding it difficult to move away from his embrace, you finally sighed and unlocked your door. With a final glance, Rob said goodbye and turned to walk back down the hallway.

Having zero energy to change into different clothes, you fell face-first into the mediocre hotel bed, asleep before you could even think about anything that had transpired tonight.

****

A frenzied knocking at the door pulled you from a deep sleep. Squinting against the early morning sun streaming through the window, you hoped the noise had been part of your dream. Closing your eyes to try and recapture it proved futile as the insistent interruption sounded again.

If only you'd given whoever stood on the other side of that door a spare key, you wouldn't have to get out of bed.

Wishful thinking on your part.

The next round of knocking came with the muffled sound of your name. Not wanting to disturb the people who were likely trying to sleep in on the final day of their weekend, you begrudgingly extracted yourself from the nest of blankets and crossed the room to the door. Pulling it open amidst yet another flurry of knocking, you were surprised to see Kim and Briana standing on the other side.

Craning their heads to look over your shoulder, Briana brushed past you into the room while Kim started immediately with rapid fire questions.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" "How ya feeling?"

"We brought coffee, and not that gross hotel sludge they so generously offer for free, but the real stuff. The good stuff." 

"You like coffee right?"

Nodding with a barely disguised grumble of affirmation, you could only smile as the women both grimaced good-naturedly.

"Yikes, rough night?"

"...you're uh, you're not hiding anyone under the bed or in the closet are you?"

The last teasing remark was the first thing Briana had said to you, and honestly, the first thing that even remotely registered as a question needing answered.

Standing to one side so Kim could squeeze past, you turned, still wrapped in the duvet as the door clicked shut behind you.

"Definitely not."

Sipping at the bold flavors of the latte Kim had given you, the surprised glance shared between the other two women went unnoticed.

"Well, uh, have you talked to them yet?" 

Glancing at Briana, her gaze was still on Kim even though she had spoken to you.

Turning your attention to the other woman, your eyes narrowed upon noticing the poorly concealed consternation Kim wore on her face.

"No….why?” Setting the coffee on the bedside table, attention now fully on the girls, you crossed your arms under your chest, alternating your attention between them, hoping one of them was about to start talking.

"Uh, well, funny you should ask...but uh...we..erm.."

Briana was stalling, shooting furtive glances to her friend, silently asking for help.

"We can't find Chris. We thought maybe…"

Waffling her hands in the air, her very pointed expression made it clear why they were at your room at nine am. 

Choking on a sip of the coffee you'd picked back up, you took a moment to wipe the back of a hand across your chin.

"And..what, you thought he'd be here?!"

Scrunching up her face, Kim shrugged before nodding vigorously.

"I'm not sure whether to be offended or flattered." A snort of laughter followed the statement, but you weren't really upset.

"I mean, I guess I can understand why you guys would think to come here but I haven't seen Chris since last night."

"Rob walked me back to my room and then I crashed. As you can see, I didn't even change."

Skirting the bed to pick up your phone from the dresser, you flicked open the screen. There were no messages or missed calls.

"I'll shoot him a text and--"

"We've all done that. Went to his room too." Briana said the words softly, as if she wasn't sure how you'd take the news.

"Yeah, but maybe Chris will answer [Y/F/N]. Couldn't hurt anyways." Kim pointed out.

"I mean...it is still really early. Hell, I've only slept five hours myself. Are you guys sure he's not just passed out in his room?"

Typing out a quick good morning text, asking Chris if he wanted to meet for lunch, you set the phone back down on the dresser.

"Chris is always the first one up. Dude is awake before the birds, regardless of how late he stayed out the night before." Kim went on to explain that nobody had heard from him since he'd left the party last night.

"I'm sure he's fine. Really...he's a big boy, he can take care of himself." 

"The convention doesn't start for another few hours, right? I bet he'll be back before the first set of photo ops. He's probably just getting breakfast or something."

****

Following the girls downstairs after you'd taken the time to shower and brush your teeth - which went a remarkably long way towards feeling like a functioning human again - the vendors room caught your eye.

"I'll catch up later guys, I'm gonna check this out."

Ducking into the adjacent hallway, several tables were spread across the space. Arranged amongst the typical t-shirt vendors, artists sold everything from paintings to jewelry to custom figurines. 

Selecting a tote bag and several CD's from the Louden Swain merchandise table, you were paying for your selections when a familiar voice caught your attention.

"Yeah, that's her."

"I don't know, but he's been really different this weekend. It's like he doesn't even see us now that she's around."

The conversation was all hushed tones and urgent whispers, and it was clear that whoever the woman was talking to was trying, unsuccessfully, to keep her voice down.

You weren't typically one to eavesdrop on others discussions but it was pretty clear you were part of it. Plus, they were talking about Chris. Maybe they knew where he was.

Before you had a chance to ask them, the two women walked away, leaving you to wonder what they were talking about.

"Don't pay them any mind, unfortunately, gossip spreads like wildfire around here and since you're the new girl, you're the hot topic of the weekend."

Sitting diagonally from where you stood, a girl smiled at you from behind her booth. Approaching her table, you took note of the stylized art of the guests, lined up next to a large, incredibly detailed portrait of Rob.

"Wow, this is really amazing."

Bending over to study the color palette she'd chosen to use, you'd intended to take her observation with a grain of salt. She, however didn't appear to be finished.

"You seem cool enough though. You're pretty talented with that camera of yours. Chris talks about you often."

There was no hint of jealousy or mockery in her words, and her neutral expression seemed friendly enough.

"You guys are friends?" "Have you seen him today?"

The woman shrugged nonchalantly.

"I suppose? He and I have been at the same conventions for several years, and we take great delight in annoying each other - but aside from that?"

Bending over her notebook, she went back to working on her drawing. 

Taking note of the fact that she hadn't really answered either of your questions, you were just about to look through her portfolio when your phone rang.

"Hey, did you guys find him?" "Oh...really? And what time does it start? Damnit. Ok, I'll be there in a sec."

Dropping the device back into your pocket, you said a hurried goodbye and made a beeline for the door.

It was nearing eleven o'clock, when a line of people would be waiting for their photo ops with Jensen. Hurrying to the room, when you arrived and the space was silent, concern really started to set in.

Chris had never missed a Creation event since he'd started. Well over a hundred events and he'd always shown up. You could only hope today wouldn't change that. 

Approximately fifty people were already milling about outside of the quiet space, volunteers trying to herd them back into the auditorium.

"Guys, please return to the theater - we'll be calling Jensen's photo ops in groups of fifty to a hundred at a time."

"Chris hasn't even set up for the day please go back to your seats."

You made a mental note to thank the volunteers at some point today, they really were the backbone of these conventions.

Slipping through the door, you were quick to flip the light switches. The silence and the dark were too much together when you'd only ever seen the room brightly lit and loud.

Figuring the least you could do was start setting up, you made the rounds, checking that lights were connected, the printers were turned on and the marks on the floor didn't need refreshing. Chris's equipment wasn't in the room, but then you hadn't really expected him to leave it overnight. 

Checking your phone once more, it was still devoid of any notifications. Navigating to your own playlists, you hit start and docked it in the cradle sitting on the table. It wasn't his music, but it made the wait infinitely less awkward.

When the door opened, you glanced up, heart beating wildly in your chest. Hoping…

"Hey, uh, we've got the first fifty people lined up out here. Should I let the handlers know to bring Jensen in?"

Chris's assistant searched your face for answers. Problem was, you had no idea how to do this alone. Right now, it looked as if your choice was being made for you however, as you couldn't realistically ask them to wait any longer than they already had.

'Uh..ye-yeah.. go ahead. Let's see what happens."

TAGS: @natasha-cole @wings-of-a-raven @jamielea81

[natasha-cole]

Ready Steady Part 7

Summary: Last day of the convention. The reader and Rob attempt to pin down what it is that they are. Is this just a fling, or could it be something more? Reader spends more time with Rob’s friends, getting to know them. Reader speaks more with Kim. When the convention ends, they talk about past relationships. But, can the reader be honest about her past?

Word Count: 5705

Warnings: fluff, mentions of sex, this part is pretty clean and mellow.

Note: For the sake of the remainder of the fic, I’m using some old Louden Swain songs and making them new ones. Also, as you can tell, my reader is a singer/songwriter and a country girl at heart… so for her, instead of trying to write my own lyrics, I’m using songs by Miranda Lambert and claiming them as the reader’s own. Hey, this way, you can listen to the actual songs after you read!

Reader uses Tin Man by Miranda Lambert again.

Catch up: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

When you woke up, you couldn’t help but feel a bit panicked. You had tried to roll over, only to realize that you couldn’t move. Rob was sprawled out on the bed, an arm and a leg draped over you so that you were practically pinned beneath him. It took you a moment to recall why he was there. Last night had felt like a dream. You had almost forgotten about you asking him to stay. Rob snored lightly next your ear, beard scratching against your shoulder. You smiled, remembering the amazing night you had shared with him. You considered waking him, knowing that he had to get down to the convention again today. But, glancing at the bedside alarm clock, you knew that there was still time. You moved in closer to him, closing your eyes in hopes of getting just a little more sleep.

After some time, and no luck with falling back asleep, you realized that you needed to get up. Your body ached from being unable to move beneath Rob’s body. You slowly began to move his arm away from you, trying hard not to wake the man. If you had been exhausted by this weekend, you couldn’t imagine what he must be feeling like. It seemed that the man never rested. Once you had succeeded in slipping out from beneath him, you stood up and found your pajamas, which you slipped into. You made your way to the couch, unsure of what to do now that you weren’t in bed. The sun was barely peeking through the curtains of the hotel room, it was still very early. There wasn’t much that you could do at this point, seeing as how you wanted to let Rob rest. So, you found your notebook on the table, grabbed a pen, and sat down.

You had been working on so many different lyrics over the past few days, many of them unfinished. You thumbed through the pages until you found something that you had started yesterday. You stared at the first lines, something that you had jotted down, just as a passing thought. You glanced back toward the direction of the bed; smiling fondly at Rob who hadn’t stirred. Putting the pen to paper, you started to quickly write down more lyrics that you had come up with.

You must have been writing for some time, lost in thought; because when you looked up from the notebook, you noticed that Rob was up. He was sitting in the bed now, leaned back against the headboard watching you.

“Sorry I woke you up,” you apologized, closing the notebook and returning it to the table.

“You didn’t wake me,” he said, “I just noticed that you weren’t in bed with me. I thought you may have run out on me for a minute there.”

You stood up and made your way back to the bed, crawling in next to Rob, “I wouldn’t run out, it’s my room.” You joked as you nestled into his side. He put his arm around your shoulder, tracing his fingertips down your arm.

He let out a small laugh, “okay, now I’m just waiting for you to tell me to leave.”

You frowned at him, “don’t leave. I want you to stay here.”

“I would love to stay here in bed with you all day,” he stated, “but I’ve got one more day of the convention to do.” He checked the time, “And I’ve got to go soon.”

“I just want to keep you all to myself,” you pouted. He laughed as he leaned down, catching your lips with his. You gladly returned the kiss, feeling your head swim as he nipped at your lips. You wished that the two of you could stay like this forever.

“You can, you know?” he whispered against your mouth, “keep me all to yourself, if you really want to.”

You looked at him, searching for a sign that he was serious. Of course, you had thought about the possibility of you and Rob being long-term. People don’t just meet someone that they completely connect with every day. You felt lucky to have found him, and you had been constantly thinking about whether or not you could make this work. Even more, you had been wondering a lot about if he was even on the same page as you. Part of you thought that this was going to end soon. He didn’t seem like the type of guy… but this could very well have been just a convention hook-up for him. You questioned if things would change when this weekend was over.

“You say that now, but what happens tomorrow?” you asked.

“What do you mean? Tomorrow, I go back to L.A. And you go back to L.A. And we just hang out in L.A. together.” He was looking slightly uncomfortable now. “Unless… unless that’s not what you want.” He removed his arm from behind you, sitting up now, he began to rub his hands against his face.

“I didn’t say that, I just figured that this was a fling or something.” You explained. “I know a lot of celebrities, I know how these things usually go.”

“That’s not me,” he corrected you, “I’m not that guy.”

You didn’t know how to reply to him. You felt bad that you had offended him.

“Is that what you want, Y/N?” he looked at you, a hint of pain in his eyes, “You want to keep this just a fling?”

“I didn’t say that either. I just assumed.” You couldn’t look him in the face anymore. “It’s just… we just met. And this all moved so fast…”

Rob looked thoughtful for a moment. “Let me ask you something,” he turned toward you, staring into your eyes, “if I asked you, right now, what this…” he motioned between you and himself with his hand, “is… what would you say?”

Your heartbeat quickened with the question. You didn’t think that you would get to this point with him any time soon. Yes, the two of you had kissed and yes you had slept together already. But, you had brushed most of it off as heat of the moment situations. You were attracted to each other, you enjoyed each other’s company… but to be sitting here, being asked what “this” was, it had become a little too much. For a brief moment, you thought about lying to him. The words were on the tip of your tongue. Why couldn’t you tell him that, for you, this was just a fling? You had become so good at lying over the years. You thought about your last relationship, how badly Chris had treated you, how long you had stuck around for someone who didn’t care about you, and how your heart had been so damaged that you were now considering giving up this man who actually seemed to care about you. You had felt broken for so long, afraid that now, your brokenness would only ruin things with Rob. Meeting Rob had affected you greatly. You found yourself smiling more, you found yourself with something to look forward to each day. Those words that sat on your tongue didn’t make their way out. Something in Rob made it difficult to lie to him about this.

“I’d say that… I know that we rushed into things and this all happened so quickly,” you hesitated, searching for the right words, “but I like you. Last night was not a mistake, it happened because I like you so much,” you paused for his reaction. He only waited, watching you. “so, I guess that… this…” you imitated his motion from earlier, “this is… something.” You couldn’t find the right words, but the look on Rob’s face indicated that he understood what you meant.

“I feel the same way,” he beamed, “I-I feel like this could be a really good thing.”

You wanted to put a name to it… this thing with Rob. You wanted to be his and you wanted him to be yours. At the same time, you knew that you needed to tread lightly. You reminded yourself that you had just come from a bad situation, a situation that Rob had no clue about. You realized that he wasn’t even aware that you had literally just got out of a long relationship. You also remembered that apparently, Rob had come out of a relationship that sounded like it ended badly not long ago. You didn’t know details about that either. There was still so much that you didn’t know about each other. There was a lot about you that you weren’t sure you wanted him to know.

“Yeah,” you agreed, “I think we should definitely see where this goes. But, maybe we should slow it down a bit.”

“If that’s what you want,” he said, running his hand across your thigh. He peered up at you, giving you a sly look.

“What are you doing?” you giggled.

“I’m taking it slow,” he replied. He moved toward you, pushing you back onto the bed before pinning you down. He laid on top of you, bringing his mouth to yours. He kissed you slowly, tongue tracing your lips, nipping and sucking.

“You call this moving slowly,” you attempted to joke, but your words came out in between heavy breaths as he started to kiss down your neck.

“Yes,” he replied, “I’m going to make it nice and slow.”

“Hmm…” you hummed, “you’re going to be late.”

“I don’t care,” he argued.

Your breath caught as he sucked at your collarbone. You didn’t object. You let him touch you, let him continue to praise your body with his mouth. You didn’t care if he was late either. You urged him on, wanting more of him. Maybe taking it slow was no longer in the books with the two of you. But, you agreed with his sentiment, this could be a really good thing.

Rob was rushing around room when he realized that round two really had made him late. He scrambled around, searching for his clothing as you laid in bed, watching him with an amused smirk on your face.

“I told you you’d be late,” you reminded him.

“I’m not late yet,” he replied, “but by the time I get back to my room and get showered, I will be.” He finally found all of his items of clothing. Dressing quickly in last night’s clothes, he leaned over you, giving you one more kiss before he headed for the door.

“I’ll see you down there later,” he called as he opened the door, carrying his shoes in his hand.

“Enjoy your walk of shame,” you called after him with a grin.

“Haha,” he gave you a fake laugh as he hurried out.

You took your time getting ready for the day, feeling a tiny bit bad that Rob had to rush to make it to the convention in time.  As you worked on your hair, you remembered that you still hadn’t listened to Louden Swain, aside from the songs played at the concert last night. Thinking it was as good of a time as any, you thumbed through your phone, opening your music app. You searched for the band and was shocked to see that they had a lot of albums. You added all of them to your library and put the songs on shuffle before going turning back to the mirror. Eventually, you found yourself humming along to the songs, dancing in your bathroom. They were really good, of course you knew that already after seeing them play live. You smiled to yourself, thinking about how lucky you were to have a man like Rob. Not only was he cute, but he was talented and sweet. It felt good to realize that you had found someone who loves music as much as you did.

When you were ready, you headed downstairs. It had become almost a habit, a ritual. You took the same route as you did the past couple of mornings. Only this time, you didn’t feel as anxious and out of place as you had that first day. You felt like you belonged here although you still hadn’t watched the show. You made your way to the greenroom and your heart skipped, knowing that you would get to see him again very soon. The other volunteers had become familiar with you by now, and a few of them nodded as you entered the room, not trying to stop you to ask who you were.

The same group of people greeted you as you entered. Billy, Mike, Stephen, and Jason sat around their usual table; fiddling with instruments and phones. Osric, Ruth, Briana, and Kim occupied a couch; laughing among each other with their coffees. You paid them no mind as you scanned the room until you found Rob, who was talking to Rich in the corner.

“Hey,” you said as you approached him.

“There you are!” he grinned, pulling you in for a kiss, “I was beginning to think you weren’t gonna show.”

“Lost track of time,” you explained, “I was listening to your band in my room and just got sidetracked.”

He cocked his head at you, “Well, you’ve heard us live.”

“I know, but I wanted to hear some of your other songs… you’ve got a lot!”

“Yeah,” he laughed, “Maybe I’ll get to hear you sing something soon. It’s only fair…”

“What can I say,” you shrugged, “there hasn’t been a lot of time to sing for you.”

“You could do it now,” Rich interjected, “I mean, were on down time while Jared and Jensen do their panel.”

“Hmm…” you thought about it, “I think Rob meant that he wanted to hear me, like a private performance.”

Rich raised a brow, “I think he’s had plenty of private performances from you this weekend.”

You felt your face turn red, “W-what?” you stuttered, embarrassed at the implication.

Rob let out an annoyed sigh and shot Rich a scolding glare.

“What?!” Rich defended himself, “it’s not my fault I just happened to run into him this morning as he was just barely on his way back to his room!”

“He caught me doing my walk of shame,” Rob explained, giving you a sweet smile.

You felt a little less embarrassed as Rob reassured you. It was bound to happen eventually, people finding out about the two of you. Rich seemed so amused by the fact that Rob had spent the night with you that he really didn’t tease too much. Instead, he ushered you to the couch where Matt, Osric, and the girls were sitting. He grabbed Rob’s guitar, the one you had played the other day, and practically forced it into your hands.

“Come on, Y/N,” he pushed, “I know you’re a songwriter, but let us hear something… anything.”

“I-I don’t really know…” you argued, “I guess I could play one of the more popular songs I’ve written.”

“Play the one you were playing the other day,” Briana chimed in, “it was really good.”

“Oh, well, that one is new. I haven’t even finished the lyrics for it.” You looked around at disappointed faces.

“I’d like to hear something new. Have you finished anything from this weekend?” Rob asked, now looking excited at the possibility of hearing you sing.

“Uh, there’s one,” you said hesitantly, “but it’s kinda slow and kinda… depressing really.” You thought harder, kicking yourself for even bringing it up. It was the only song that you had finished since you arrived in Nashville, but it was the one song that had made you cry as your worked on it. At the time, you were still distraught over what had happened with Chris. This was before this thing with Rob began to pick up. You eyed him, looking for some encouragement.

Rob smiled back at you, “only if you want to,” he said. You felt a surge of confidence, knowing that you had written a great song; you decided that having this new group of friends hear it could only help you at this point. They could be your critics, they could let you know if it was any good.

“Okay,” you said, clearing your throat. You began to strum slowly, finding the tune before you began to sing:

Hey there, Mr. Tin Man You don't know how lucky you are You shouldn't spend your whole life wishin' For something bound to fall apart Everytime you're feeling empty Better thank your lucky stars If you ever felt one breakin' You'd never want a heart Ohh, ohh, oh Hey there, Mr. Tin Man You don't know how lucky you are I've been on the road that you're on It didn't get me very far You ain't missin' nothin' 'Cause love is so damn hard Take it from me darlin', you don't want a heart

You glanced up at Rob who was watching you with a look of awe. He was transfixed by you, listening intently. You smiled at him and continued, feeling even more sure now. Hey there, Mr. Tin Man Glad we talked this out You can take mine if you want it It's in pieces now By the way there, Mr. Tin Man If you don't mind the scars You give me your armor And you can have my heart

You carried out the last note, finishing the music. When you had finished the song, you glanced around the room at all the faces watching you. no one said anything, they just stared. You felt yourself becoming more anxious now. You seemed to sit awkwardly for some time before Rich broke the silence.

“Now that’s a country song!” he beamed, “that’s my girl!” he shouted as he put his hand on your shoulder. Everyone else laughed, now praising you for your songwriting and singing.

“You have an amazing voice, Y/N.” Matt assured you.

“Told you so,” added Kim. You glanced over to her, almost having forgotten about the conversation from yesterday. She only looked at you warmly, giving you a wink.

“Thanks guys,” you said, putting the guitar down, “it’s just something I had been working on, trying to perfect it so that I can see if anyone is interested in recording it.”

“Why would you want someone else to record it?” Osric asked curiously, “I mean, that was awesome. And it sounded… really personal.”

“That’s what I do,” you shrugged, “I just write the songs. Someone else sings them.”

“Did you ever think about just recording them yourself?” Rob asked. You looked at him, having almost forgotten he was standing there given how quiet he had been while everyone else applauded you on your song.

“No,” you stated simply, “I haven’t thought about that.”

“Well, you should. Consider it, I mean. It was a beautiful song, kinda sad… But your voice…” he trailed off, eyes searching you. He looked a bit sad.

“Like I said,” began Briana, “this girl has got a voice on her.”

“I think we’ve already established that I’m just a songwriter.”

You sighed heavily. They were only being nice, but you had been down this road before. When you first started writing songs, you had always performed them live at open mic nights. That was your thing, that’s what you did. Artists came out of the woodwork, interested in recording some of the songs. You found yourself slowly becoming just a songwriter. There was less focus on your singing, and more focus on your words. When you had met Chris, you thought about performing again. You had told him that you were tired of other artists taking your songs and making them their own. Especially when you constantly put so much of yourself in the lyrics. You had expected him to be encouraging, but you quickly learned that he wasn’t going to be. He often told you that you should just leave the performing to the professionals… the artists who actually had appeal.

“Some of us aren’t meant to be performers,” you stated.

“Maybe because you’ve never tried,” Rob said, almost cutting you off.

You didn’t mean to feel so attacked right now, he wasn’t attacking you. He was genuinely curious as to why you didn’t perform your own songs.

“Why are you pushing this?” you asked, annoyed.

“I-I’m not,” Rob stared at his feet, feeling bad for upsetting you, “I’m just wondering why someone with so much talent thinks that they couldn’t perform.”

“My talent is in songwriting. I’m not a singer. I don’t even have a very good voice,” you tried to defend yourself best you could, “besides, I’m not exactly the performer type.”

“I don’t know who told you that you didn’t have a good voice,” added Ruth, “but they’re idiots.”

“Look, I’ve worked with enough talent. I know what a great performer is, I know what it takes to be a star. I’m not it.” You motioned toward Rob, “Now that… that’s a great performer.”

Rob snickered at your comment as you continued, “Writing ability, a fantastic voice, not to mention that he’s a lefty that can play right-handed guitar. There’s also those good looks and great personality to go along with it.” You tried to lighten the mood a bit.

“Well, even if you don’t see yourself as a performer, you’ve got a great voice.” Rich said. “Maybe we can get you out there for SNS one of these days.”

You laughed, “Isn’t that reserved for the band and the cast?”

The tense moment had passed. You breathed a sigh of relief. This was just like you; making a big deal out of something not meant to be. They were all so nice, only meaning to make you feel better about your music. No one was attacking you or putting you down. You knew that you only reacted the way you did because of what you had been told for so many years. You wished there was a way to erase the constant nagging of Chris’ voice in the back of your mind. The one that always told you that you weren’t good enough, the one that always put you down. The group started to depart back to what they had been doing before your impromptu show. You relaxed as Rob sat next to you.

“You know, I really didn’t mean to upset you,” he said.

“You didn’t upset me,” you lied, “it’s just that… I know what I am. And it freaks me out to have attention like that.”

“I get it…” he trailed off. He took your hand in his, “I have to ask though, do you write a lot from personal experience?”

“Always. That’s the best way to write. You do the same, right?” you asked him, curious about his own songwriting.

“Yeah, I do.”

You leaned against him, “Like your song from last night, “She Waits…” that was an extremely personal song, I could tell. I loved the emotion you put into it.”

“That’s a tough one to do, every time. But, yeah, it’s very personal.”

“There’s no point in writing lyrics if you’re not putting a bit of yourself in them.” You continued.

“Who was that song about? Or- what was it about? It was… really sad.” He looked concerned now as he ran his fingers over your knuckles.

“It, uh- it’s about someone who broke my heart.” You said softy. “Like any other great country song, I guess.” You faked a laugh as you recalled the moment you started writing it. You had been hurting when you arrive in Nashville. You wrote it because you really did feel like having a heart was a burden at that point.

“And you wrote it when you got here?” You could tell that he was trying to piece things together. You and he had shared a connection almost immediately on that first day in Nashville. But he also knew that you had written this song while here.

“Yeah,” you thought about what to say next. This was a real moment of truth. Do you say that it was just a song about a long-lost love, perhaps one that ended some time ago? Or do you risk telling him that you had literally just broken up with your boyfriend of five years the day that you met Rob? You couldn’t know how he would take that. You didn’t know what he would think of you. he could very easily be disgusted that you had slept with him just days after your breakup. You didn’t want to do anything to risk losing him, and you really had become so good at lying. But there it was again. That look in his eyes that made you feel like it was impossible to lie to him.

“Actually, maybe there’s something I should tell you. I feel like you deserve an explanation… about everything.” Your heart began to race at your own words. This was it. You were going to be honest with Rob.

“Hey, Rob?” You both glanced up from your conversation to see Billy standing in front of you awkwardly, “I don’t mean to interrupt, but we’ve got to get out there.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Rob shook his head, standing up, still holding your hand. He looked at you, “we’ll talk later. I think there’s a lot that I should be honest with you about as well.” He gave your hand a squeeze before letting go, hurriedly walking out of the room with the band.

While the band was gone, you wandered around the greenroom aimlessly. Checking out the setup, and stopping to talk to Rob’s friends more. Misha made an appearance, greeting you politely as he had before. You had also met Jared for the first time when he and Jensen entered the room after their panel. You had thought Jensen was officially the tall one after meeting him last night, but you were intimidated by Jared’s size.

“Jare, this is Y/N,” Jensen introduced you. You reached your hand out for a handshake, but the man pulled you into a very tight hug.

“This is the girl, huh?” Jared questioned, “the one Rob won’s shut up about?”

“I don’t think he talks about me that much…” you said.

“Yeah, right. It’s really kinda annoying. But I’ve met you now, and I can see why he won’t shut up.”

You blushed yet again. You had yet to meet one of Rob’s friends who might simply not be nice to you. They really did all seem like a big family. You realized that they all actually liked each other and they really looked out for each other.

As Jared and Jensen were rushed off for photo ops, it was Kim who found you again.

“Hey, Y/N,” she said hesitantly.

“Hey, Kim,” you replied, acting as chipper as you could.

“I just want you to know that I didn’t say anything to Rob.”

“I know,” you said, “thanks for that. Whatever you heard is something that he should hear from me. And he will, okay?”

“You’re going to tell him?” she asked.

“I’ll tell him what I feel he needs to know,” you hinted that you would at least tell him about the breakup.

“What about the other stuff?” she asked. You tilted your head, pretending that you didn’t know what she was talking about. “You know, the heavy stuff… the stuff that you pretended I didn’t hear?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” you lied. Yes, you still had the ability to pretend that something that happened didn’t actually happen. You weren’t so much lying to anyone else, you were just really good at lying to yourself. In the end, you figured that wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

Kim let out an exasperated sigh, “Y/N, it’s nothing to be afraid of talking about.”

“I’m fine,” you found your voice beginning to raise at her, “okay? It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

“Okay,” ‘she threw her hands up in defeat. You had mastered the art of making people feel like they were talking to a brick wall. It was your defense mechanism. Denial worked so well for you in the past, and it seemed to be working now. All you could do was wait for Kim to just stop trying to bring it up. then you could go back to pretending none of it ever happened.

Later that night; after the convention had ended, the last panels were done, the final autographs signed, and the remainder of the photo ops were finished; you and Rob walked together toward your room. You were worried, you knew that you had agreed to be honest with him, and he had mentioned that there were some things that he should be honest with you about. Your nerves started to act up just thinking about what he had to tell you. Whatever his story was, it couldn’t be worse than yours. Unless he turned out to be married or something.

You let him into your room where he immediately jumped on you. He kissed you intensely, hands touching every part of your body. But you couldn’t focus on the intimacy at this point. You kissed him back before pushing him away.

“You okay?” he asked looking slightly confused.

“I’m fine,” you assured him, “it’s just, this is your last night in Nashville. We said we’d talk some more. I think we both have some things to tell each other.”

“Yeah,” he agreed.

You found yourselves lying in bed, talking about yourselves more, getting to know each other better.

“The girls said that this weekend was the happiest that they had seen you in a while,” you brought up your conversation that had left you curious for some time.

“Oh, yeah. Well, that’s the thing that I wanted to talk to you about,” he leaned up on his elbow, looking at you. “about a year ago, I split with someone… it was a pretty serious relationship. We were engaged…” he paused, taking a deep breath, “I was pretty broken up over it. But there were… a lot of lies… like, I can’t be in a relationship where honesty is impossible. In the end, I just had to walk away. You can’t go through something if you don’t know if it’s real or not,” he studied your face, waiting for a reaction, “I’ve been single the past year. You’re the first person that I’ve actually been interested in since.”

You gave him a smile. Now you felt terrible. His truth was nowhere near as terrible as yours. His past didn’t make him a bad person. You only hoped that he would feel the same about yours.

“I wasn’t supposed to come to Nashville alone,” you blurted out. It was now or never. He tilted his head, waiting for you to continue, “I was at the airport back home, I was waiting for someone… my… ex.” You shifted your gaze away from him, you couldn’t bear to look at him. Hearing yourself say this out loud was bad enough. “He didn’t show up. Instead, he called me and said he wasn’t coming because he was leaving me for someone else. Five years, and he was suddenly done. It had been bad for a while, but we were going to come here to work on us. I should have known that there was nothing left to fix. So I came here alone, turned it into my own single-girl vacation,” you laughed uncomfortably. “I meant to take the week to just focus on myself, write music, and just enjoy Nashville.”

“You didn’t mean to meet me?” Rob’s question was more of a statement.

“No… but I did.” You shrugged. “And I really started to like you, and that scared me.”

“Which is why you kept running off?”

“Yeah, God,” you could feel the tears well up in your eyes again, “you must think I’m so pathetic. I mean, I just came out of a relationship and almost immediately fall into this with you.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” He brought your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “I think that you’re incredibly brave. Sounds like you just had your heartbroken, but you weren’t afraid to give me a chance anyway.”

“So, you don’t think that I’m a horrible person for rushing into this with you? I mean, I literally just became single the day I met you.”

“No way, I’m… happy, as terrible as that sounds,” he started getting flustered, “not happy about what you went through, just… happy that it happened in time for our paths to cross.”

“You’re sweet…” you whispered. You pulled his face down to yours, brushing your lips against his slightly, “I’m happy too. You make me very happy.”

He met your lips and kissed you deeply. Honesty had actually went really well. Rob didn’t think of you any less and he was still here. You felt better having gotten that off your chest, it had been eating at you for a few days.

“Can I stay the night again?” Rob asked, stroking your cheek.

“Of course,” you replied as you ran your hands through his hair again, “I need to spend all the time with you that I can before you leave tomorrow.”

Rob frowned as he remembered that he had a flight to catch back to L.A. in the morning, “Can’t you trade in your plane ticket and come back to L.A. with me?”

You had thought about this already, in fact, the idea had been prevalent in your mind since yesterday. But, in the end, you chose to stay in Nashville for the rest of your vacation.

“I could… but I really need to stay for the rest of the week,” you explained. “I haven’t gotten much work done, and maybe not having you around as a distraction for a few days will help.”

Rob pouted for a moment before he started in on your neck again, “fine,” he said in a muffled voice as he kissed down your neck to your chest. You gasped out loud at the feeling, not about to push him away again. “But that means I’m going to distract you tonight.”

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