#i spend some time behind the till at a charity shop and i only ever get compliments from people over my weird fashion

[spookymoonmagpie]

To anyone worried about what people will think about your weirder clothes: I can wander around my pretty tory-ish village in a witch hat and shawl and get zero flack at all. Most of the time you'll get some weird looks but you're equally as likely to get a compliment from someone about it.

Your mileage may vary; I'm in a decently secular area so maybe don't if there's more religious zealotry etc but generally, people don't give too much of a shit.

[diaryofabeautyfiend]

* ⚠️ Warnings: A lot of angst. Mentions of sex. A little fluff. People drinking alcohol. ⚠️ This one shot was never meant to be a series. All of your love and appreciation spurred me in to write more. Hope you like this chapter. I cried while I was writing it. Part 5 is the finale.

Plain Gold Ring IV:

You Don’t Know What Love Is

“How could you know how lips hurt

'Till you've kissed and had to pay the cost

Baby, 'till you've flipped your heart and you have lost

You don't know what love is” Nina Simone

———————————————————————

Being on the board of your firm’s charity gala was a huge deal. On top of your normal duties you were in charge of the silent auction. The final auction items had all arrived and you had been busy categorizing everything and preparing for the night that you barely have time to focus on the Andy and Lori situation.

Not that it wasn’t grating on your last nerve. You were so short with everyone at work that it was becoming a problem. Stan had to have a talk with you. You just had to focus and get through this event.

Andy helped as much as he could. He was supportive when you were frustrated and quickly learned when to back off. Sometimes you were up until the wee hours he would literally drag you to bed. He knew how to keep your mind off of work for a while.

You were so busy that you hadn’t even purchased a dress. You and Liz went shopping after work. She was the only person to know about you and Andy.

“What do you think of this one? Think Andy will like it?” You wore a black long sleeved gown with a v that went down to right above your belly button and a slit up to your mid thigh.

“I mean, I’d fuck you.” she deadpanned. This was the dress. You would be comfortable in it all night. You also looked like a powerful bitch who would slit your throat.

———————————————————————

You had to be at the site earlier than the guests so you did your hair and most of your makeup at home. Andy had not seen your dress on purpose. You wanted him to see you when he walked in with Lori. Your petty brain was on overdrive.

“Well you look great” Andy said pointing to your sweats.

“Shush. I’m not putting on my dress and heels until the last second. I pressed your shirt it’s hanging in your closet. I also picked up your tux from the cleaners.”

He slid his arms around you and looked at you in the mirror. “Why are you so good to me?” His hands roamed your body and made contact with your bare skin under your tshirt.

“I am gonna be late.” You swatted his hands away.

“You have four hours. Didn’t you hire party planners?”

“Yes. I still need to get my nails done and set up the auction. You can have your way with me later.”

“But I want to now” he whined. “Please. I’ll be really quick.”

You giggled , “Sounds really fun for me. You know I would never ever miss an opportunity to cum all over your cock…” your face was so close to his your lips were nearly touching. Your hands were on his chest. His were on your hips pulling you closer. “But I have to go. Bye, baby.”

“Tease! You’ll pay for that.” he called after you.

You winked at him as you headed out of the door, “I certainly hope so.”

All Andy could do was laugh. He wished he could spend this evening whisking you around the dance floor. He couldn’t wait to see how beautiful you would look tonight.

In two days you would be on your way to Chicago. The movers were already on the way with your furniture. Your suitcase was in the process of being packed. He hated it. He was taking a long weekend to help you get settled. By Wednesday morning you would have to say goodbye. His heart broke a little every time he thought about it. Every single day he wanted to say he loved you. He was reluctant to ruin what you had knowing there was no way around the inevitable.

———————————————————————

Everything was set. The only thing left was for you to get dressed. You re-sprayed your hair and put on your jewelry. You spritzed Chanel over your wrists neck and cleavage. Last thing was to coat your lips in a matte oxblood to match your nails. You looked sleek and downright terrifying. Just as you planned.

“They just walked in.” Liz whispered from the doorway.

“How does she look?”

“Pretty and appropriate.”

“How do I look?”

“Like a bad bitch. Let’s go.”

You walked out with your shoulders back and your head high. You made sure the gown swished enough to expose your legs and the impossibly high heels you wore. Andy saw you from across the room and stopped dead in his tracks. You looked like you were walking in slow motion. He almost dropped his drink.

You made a b line for Stan and his wife Elaine who were standing directly behind the other couple. He smelled your perfume wafting off of you when you walked by. He almost lost it right there.

“Y/N! What a knockout. Elaine, isn’t she gorgeous?” You kissed his cheek with the side of your mouth careful not to smear your lipstick.

“Christ, Stan. Keep it in your pants. You look beautiful, honey.”

“Thank you, Elaine. So good to see you. Lovely as always.”

“Thank you, dear. Now how is it possible you are here without a date? Stan, you work the poor thing so much she can’t even find a man. That’s why she’s leaving you.”

“And for many other reasons” you joked. You were very much aware that Andy was behind you. “Elaine have you met Andy and Lori Barber?”

You took Lori’s hand and ushered them over. “No, I haven’t. So nice to finally meet you.”

“You get to know each other. I’m going to grab a drink. Can I get anyone anything?” Such a good hostess.

“I’d love a scotch. Elaine wine?” She nodded.

“Andy?”

“You won’t be able to carry all of those drinks. Let me come with you.” Andy patted Lori on the arm. “I’ll be right back.” When you were far enough away he took a long look at you. “How long til I get to rip that dress off of you?”

Your cheeks heated, “You won’t be ripping anything. This dress cost a fortune. It’s far too pretty to ruin especially with panty lines.”

“Fuck. I’m gonna ruin that pussy.”

“Promises promises, Mr. Barber.” He groaned and adjusted his pants.

“Such a tease.”

You delivered the drinks and excused yourself. For the rest of the night Andy only caught glimpses of you. He tried not to make it obvious but Lori could see. Once upon a time he looked at her like that. Except the way he looked at you was a look of complete adoration.

You tried avoiding the Barbers all night. The whole time Andy schmoozed and did his Andy thing, his arm was around her waist. She kept her hand on his chest. They were always finding little ways to touch each other. When he kissed her temple you nearly broke the clipboard you were holding.

Stan stood next to you draining his fourth drink, “You ok there, champ? Sweet couple aren’t they?”

“Yeah. They’re adorable.” You slammed the rest of your Old Fashion.

“Reminds me of me and Katherine . Remember Katherine?”

“Was she your second or third wife? I don’t remember.” Your words were dripping with sarcasm.

“Second. Every time we had one of these things Katherine was on my arm. She was great at this shit. She’d chat it up with the partner’s wives earning me brownie points while I fucked Elaine’s brains out in the John. Know why I married Elaine? She was the best goddamn litigator I’d ever seen. Gets my dick hard every time I think about it. She lit a fire in me that couldn’t be stoked. Kind of like you do for Andy.”

You blanched, “What do you mean?”

“Oh save it. I know you’re fucking. The whole office does. I see how he looks at you. But you can’t see how you look at him. Don’t let the act fool you. He’s stupid for you. Let me keep him for a couple of months before you move him to Chicago ok? He can make us some serious money.” He patted you on the ass and went back to Elaine. She was waiting for him with a big smile that he drunkenly devoured.

———————————————————————

The band started playing. When a slow song came on Lori took Andy’s hand. “Dance with me?”

For possibly the last time he held her. She closed her eyes, rested her head on his shoulder and let him lead her around the dance floor. He wasn’t reciprocating with the same tenderness. His eyes were held on you.

You watched him place his hand on the small of her back. The way he held her hand was a practiced action that he had perfected over sixteen years. When he let himself get lost for just a moment he was overcome with grief for himself and Lori. He pressed a kiss to her lips. Her heart fluttered and she kissed him back. You rushed out of the room when you saw them.

Lori felt her husband’s body stiffen. His hold on her loosened. It felt like he was forcing his body to stay with her. She understood why his mood shifted when she saw you leaving. She looked up at him. His eyebrows were knitted together with worry.

“How long have you been sleeping with her?” she asked quietly.

“A month. Maybe longer.” He couldn’t look at her. Couldn’t lie.

“So basically since you left.”

“My second day there. Lori, I’m so sorry. It just happened. I wasn’t looking for anything.”

“No, but you were open to something happening. Does everyone here know? Of course they do. I’m so humiliated. I think I’d like to go home.”

“I’ll get the car.”

“No. I can get myself home. This night is too important for you to leave early.”

“Lori…”

“I don’t want to be around you right now, Andy. I can’t.” She let go of his hand and left. She carried herself with poise and dignity but inside she was dying.

You were nowhere to be found. He spotted Liz who was chatting with some friends. “Where is she?”

“Auctions over. She left.”

“Shit. Thanks.”

“Andy, be gentle with her. Idiots.”

He ran to the valet and jumped in his car to race home. When he got out he noticed a suit case in the back of your car. The elevator was taking forever. He took the stairs two at a time to reach you before you got away.

He heard your heels clacking on the hardwood. Clothes were everywhere. “Y/N?”

“Bedroom.” You were still in your pretty dress. Still all made up throwing things in another suitcase.

“Going somewhere?”

“Hotel.”

“Mind telling me why?” His voice was hoarse like he had been screaming.

“The way you held her…you kissed her.” He grabbed your hands to make you look at him but you yanked them away. “This was stupid. I should have never gotten involved with you in the first place. Married men never leave. Please get out of my way, Andy. I have to go.”

“You think this was a mistake?” Slow tears rolled down his face. He undid his bow tie and sat down. “I don’t. I’m glad we met.”

“Why? Because I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. So why are you glad?”

“Because you reminded me what it felt like to be cared for. To feel loved. You showed me what I had been missing for a long time now.”

“Happy to have helped.” You continued emptying drawers.

“Please stop packing. Please.” You wouldn’t look at him. He tried grabbing you several times but you moved beyond his reach. “Damn it! Why? Why do you always run when things get hard?”

“I’m not running.”

“No? So Chicago just came up? Or did you put out your resume the second you heard I got the job you wanted?”

Your cheeks heated. “You know how this business works. If I got passed over this time, they’ll keep doing it.”

“Right. And tonight? The second things get weird you run.”

“You kissed her!” You were trying not to cry.

“I know. I was sad. We’ve been Andy and Lori for the majority of our lives. Tonight felt so final. I know we’ll always have Jacob but, there is nothing else there. Please. I am so in love with you. Please.” He dropped to his knees and hugged you tight around your waist.

“Andy, you have to let me go.” He pressed his face into your stomach and broke down. “Andy? Sweetie? Come on. Let go.”

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll let you walk out of that door. I’ll never contact you again. But I know you do.”

“Stop….”

“Aren’t you tired of running?” You were tired. You ran away from your family, former lovers, dead end jobs. You wanted to finally be settled. Leave with a clean break. There was nothing clean about this. If you said you loved him there was no going back. This would be at least three years of a long distance relationship because he won’t leave Jacob. You didn’t want him to leave his son. This would be you exhibiting a level of trust you weren’t sure you had. He fell in love with you so fast. In your absence, what would stop him from falling for someone else? You were so weak when it came to Andy. Fucking perfect at everything Andy fucking Barber. Why couldn’t you shake him? Why couldn’t you just walk away like you have been trying to do since the first time you had sex?

BECAUSE WE LOVE HIM YOU DUMB TWAT. Your brain screamed. You couldn’t make your mouth work. You ran your fingers through his hair, “I love you, Andy.”

He pulled you down onto the floor and kissed you with abandon. “Say that again.” he whispered against your mouth.

“I love you. I love you. God help me, I love you.” A smile was plastered on his face for the rest of the night. Packing could wait.

[elatedmarvel]

No Use Crying Over Spilled Coffee

Word Count: Word Count: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You keep bumping into Steve Rogers, literally. 

Word Count: 2364

Warnings: None, not even a swear word (weird I know) she’s a fluffy one

A/N: Remember when I said I was going on a 2 week hiatus? Lol what a joke. Sorry life keeps happening, but I’m going to try and be better about posting. I have so many ideas! Thank you so much for reading! ~J

The day you met him was unremarkable. 

You got up, got dressed, and headed to work like any other day. But, something possessed you to stop at that coffee shop. You had gotten up early, it was a bright morning, and you were early for work. You figured one cup of coffee from that fancy coffee shop down the way could truly make this Monday morning a good morning. 

You hummed the song playing in the coffee shop softly under your breath and stared at the specials. The choices all had your mouth watering and it was hard to make a decision. There seemed to be some commotion outside as you stepped up to order, but you paid no mind, it was a daily occurrence in NY. 

The barista handed you your drink, and just smelling it made you smile. Just as you were about to take your first sip, the front window was shattered as someone was thrown through- taking you and your coffee down with him.

“I’m so sorry” he panted out of breath, quickly scrambling off of you. You barely heard him, staring as you saw your precious coffee in a puddle on the floor. The sight alone could make you tear up, never mind the cuts and bruises you could feel start to form on your body. 

A hand came into view, and the world seemed to rush back to you. You looked up and there he was. Captain America.

“You spilled my coffee” was all you could respond.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I didn’t really have a choice on the landing.” he tried to joke, clearly uncomfortable at your wide eyed gaze. 

“But my coffee…” was all you could utter again. Looking around you realized you were still sitting on the floor. You took his hand and he hoisted you up, almost pulling you off the ground. 

“Are you sure you’re ok? No concussion?” he asks as his face roams your face and he looks at your eyes. The color of your eyes and the depth of your stare made chills run down his neck. Lost in your eyes, he turns red when you clear your throat, bringing him back to the moment.

“No dilation, that's a good sign.” he awkwardly coughs. “I’m sorry about taking you down.”

“It’s ok. Are you hurt?” genuine concern laced your voice. His uniform was torn, and you were pretty sure he was bleeding. 

“I’m fine” surprised that you would ask him. No one ever asked him how he was.

You were about double check when he put his hand to his ear and murmured a coming. 

“I have to go, but if you feel drowsy or the pain is too much, you should go to hospital.” he states, already pulling away and rushing back to the fight. “I’m sorry” he shouts back at you once more, and he’s gone. 

It takes a second for your to shake out of your daze, but when you do you realize the coffee shop as gone almost back to normal. The customers were still lined up and the baristas were giving out orders. The only thing that made you sure you hadn’t dreamed it was the glass crunching under your shoes, the pitiful puddle of coffee on the ground, and the dull throb on your butt. 

You had almost forgotten about the incident by Friday morning when you stepped into your office and there it was. The most inconspicuous cup of coffee sitting on your desk, just your order and the perfect temperature.

If anyone asked, the pep in your step that day was certainly the caffeine, and not the handwritten post it note now thumb-tacked to your board. 

Thanks for breaking my fall, hope this makes us even :-)

~~~

Months later, your company had been invited to a huge fundraiser gala hosted by Tony Stark. The event was big, thrown at the Plaza with many fortune 500 companies in attendance. 

The moment you walked in, you were a little star struck. Unsure how you had made the cut for the guest list, you felt out of place. Though your boss had given you a generous allowance to spend on your attire, you’re sure your $2,000 Zac Posen evening gown couldn’t compare to the custom made designer gowns and suits that were gleaming under the light.

Spotting a close work friend and some people from your office, you made your way to the open bar and ordered your favorite wine.

“I feel so out of place” you say as soon as you join your group. Drink poised in your right hand.

“I know me too. I feel like we’re the charity.” Rachel from marketing jokes, and you instantly feel better being here. 

“What did we do to get on this list?” Jake from accounting asks. And the conversation flows from there. Jokes and small talk were had, and the more time you spent laughing with your co-workers, the more at ease you felt. 

2 glasses in and you were feeling loose, your reflexes weren’t as sharp as they should have been. When someone knocks you from behind, your drink goes flying out your hand and finds residence on your dress. The collective gasp from your group lets you know the stain is bad before you even have to look down. 

“I’m so sorry!” and you feel a sense of deja vu. Pivoting on your heels to see your assaulter, you come face to red face with Captain America.

“My wine.” was all you could mutter. If possible, his eyes widen even more.

“I’m so sorry Y/n! Bucky pushed me I swear!” he rushed out as he throws an accusatory finger at the brunette standing a few feet away with a Cheshire grin on his face. 

You shoot Bucky a small wave before glancing up at Steve again, and boy was that a mistake. If possible, he had gotten more handsome than when you last saw him. His hair was grown out slightly, and his face was freshly shaven. The suit he had on looked like it was molded for his body, and you tried so hard not to outwardly drool over him. You’re heart fluttered when you realized he knew and remembered your name. 

“We have to stop meeting like this.” you smirk up at him. Eyes taking in how his blush was spreading from his cheeks to his entire face.

“I swear it was an accident! I was telling Bucky that I thought it was you, he told me to say hi and gave me a little nudge” he rambles, heart pounding under your playful gaze. “I’m sorry I ruined your dress, I’ll pay for the dry cleaning bill. Or I’ll just buy you another one.”

At the mention of your dress, you realize that the wine was starting to sink into your dress and stick to your skin. 

“It’s ok Captain Rogers, I didn’t pay for it, and I doubt I’ll have an occasion to wear it again.” You glance around and find that your friends had moved elsewhere, leaving you alone with Steve.

“I think I’m gonna go. Get this off before it sticks anymore.” you say, trying to memorize Steve’s face. Sure it’ll be the last time you see him.

“Let me at least help you get home and make sure the stain didn’t set.” flushing when he realizes what that must sound like to you. “I swear I just want to make sure the dress and you are ok, I won’t even go into your building!”

Your heart warms at his blabbering, and you can’t help but smile up at him.

“I would lo-” and you get interrupted as Pepper Potts herself gives you a smile and takes Steve’s elbow.

“Sorry to barge in but it’s time for your speech Cap” was all she said as she started to drag him away. His eyes searching for you and mouthed an I’m sorry before he was swept away and engulfed by the crowd. 

Sure enough, the band quieted as Tony Stark appeared on stage and started the thank yous of the evening. Seeing Steve on stage and watching all the women in the room undress him with your eyes was your breaking point. The wine stain had started to cool, and your heart was tearing a little at being so close, yet so far away from him. The night was over, and all you wanted was to curl up with a pint of ice cream and watch reruns of Friends.

One last look to Steve, who was chewing the inside of his cheek and watching Tony finish up his speech, and you slowly made your way through the crowd. You never noticed the pair of sorrowful blue eyes watching your departure.

The next morning on your way out the door to find some coffee, a hulking bouquet of yellow roses was waiting for you on the doorstep. Sniffing the roses as you went to put them on your table, the card bought a permanent smile to your face.  

These roses dull in comparison to you, but I hope you accept my apology.

Steven G. Rogers

~~~

It was finally Friday after the longest week. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. You’re alarm didn’t go off on Monday leaving you 30 mins late for a meeting with the board of the company, unpredicted rainfall ruined your makeup and shoes on Tuesday, the copier jammed on Wednesday so you couldn’t scan any of your contracts, and Thursday brought about a case of mild food poisoning.

You were truly done with the week, and just wanted to crawl into your bed and hibernate till Monday. But, your best friends had made plans and you figured seeing them and some alcohol could brighten an otherwise horrible, no good week. 

The music was loud, but no match for the volume at which your friends and you laughed. You could feel the tension slip away story by story and start to be replaced by a decent buzz. Volunteering to get the next round, you gently balance the three drinks in your hands. Gingerly, you swivel on your heel and right into a brick wall of a man, effectively drenching both you and him. His hands come up to your arms to help you keep your balance. 

“I’m sorry!” you both exclaim, and you could recognize that voice anywhere. 

“You know, if you wanted to see me, all you had to do was say hi” you laugh as you look up and find the shocked face of one Steve Rogers. 

“Ugh, you must hate me by now” and he covers one giant hand over his blushed face.

“At least this time you got a small taste of your own medicine.” and you gesture to his soaked white tee shirt. If he notices how your eyes linger at the transparent shirt clinging to all the hard muscle underneath, he doesn’t say. 

“I owe you a new drink. Or 3” he smiles down at you. 

“I would take you up on that offer, but my girlfriends are waiting for me.” pointing at the table of women obviously staring at the interaction. He aims a small wave and half smile at them, which they return with great enthusiasm. 

“Let me replace your drinks then.” and he turns signals to the bartender before you can say anything. 

“Thank you, I’m sure they would love to tell the story of how Captain America bought them drinks.” you tease. 

“I’m glad they won’t hate me for ruining your night out.” and you both continue the small talk. So engrossed with each other, you don’t even realize that your drinks are ready until the bartender has to slap the bar to grab your attention. 

“I’ll walk you to your table, make sure you don’t spill that on anyone else.” and you feel his hand guiding you back towards your friends. “Don’t worry, seems like these things only really happen around you.” you smirk up, and you swear his whole face starts to turn red. 

“I’m sorry again, for the coffee and the wine and your beer.” he says and sincerely looks guilty. You’re heart could just burst at his expression, and you laugh when he sticks his bottom lip out in a pout.

“All is forgiven. Under one circumstance.” and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. His lovely face morphs into one of confusion and your palms sweat a bit more. It’s now or never.

“You take me to dinner.” and the shocked look on his face has you questioning if you really were taking his kind gestures the wrong way. Maybe he was really just trying to be nice. 

His small laugh restarts your breathing, and you can feel a smile start to creep up on your face. “You beat me.” he states. “I was gonna spill one more drink on you and then as you out” he jokes. 

“I see, well I still have drinks in my hand if you want to stick to your plan.” you grin up at him.

“Nah, I think I’m good” he smiles and leans down slowly. His eyes flicker from yours to your lips. You meet him halfway and the moment your lips touch, the world melts away. His hand comes up to caress you face and you press yourself into him more. 

The sudden cold feeling of your beers spilling onto your pants had you pulling away. A little too wrapped up in the kiss, you had tilted the beers in your hand. 

“Shoot! I’m so sorry!” you say and you try not to laugh at the irony.

“It’s ok, partly my fault. I distracted you.” he says looking down at his now damp shoes. “But I guess this means I have to ask you out.” and his cheeky smile has you actually laughing. 

“It would be my pleasure. As long as I stay dry during the date.”

“Can’t promise anything darling.” and he pecks your lips once more before going back to the bar to replace your drinks.

Going into that coffee shop months ago was the best decision you had ever made. 

[bellakitse]

Cowboy for sale

Isobel is hosting a costumed date auction and she puts Michael in a sexy outfit, Alex comes in to save the day.

Thanks to @gra-sonas for the picture!!

Alex sits back on one of Michael’s lawn chairs, a beer loose in his hand while Michael, on his second beer, sits comfortably next to him. It’s quiet between them but not awkward. It’s taken months, it’s taken fights, screaming matches, and tears, but they’ve finally found a sense of peace between them. Something comfortable between the love they’ve always had for each other and the friendship they have been building. For the first time since they were 17, he can honestly say that he and Michael are friends, and there is a comfort in that knowledge that leaves him at peace. They can just sit here outside Michael’s airstream after having the burgers he brought over from the Crashdown, share a beer, and share some silence as the sun starts to set behind them.

“Did you hear about this charity thing Isobel is running for Halloween next weekend? A date auction?”

Alex’s lips tilt up at the question, but he doesn’t say that not only has he heard about the auction but that he had jokingly given her the idea the last time they were out shopping. It’s not like he was actually serious. He’d just commented on not dating for a while and joked about buying a date. Isobel’s sassing him about that being prostitution should have been the end of it. But there had been a glint in her eye, and two weeks later flyers around town started showing up, announcing an all-male date auction with a Halloween after-party, costumes required. Rumor had it that the housewives of Roswell were eating the idea up and that the event was already sold out.

“Yep,” he says with a smirk. “I’ve heard rumblings.”

Michael, who has been looking up at the sky until now, turns his head to shoot him a look. “And did you hear that she is blackmailing me into participating?”  

Alex quirks an eyebrow. “And just how is she accomplishing that?” His grin growing when Michael lets out a huff while taking a pull of his beer instead of answering. He laughs softly, smirking when Michael shoots him an annoyed look. “It’s that embarrassing, huh?” he comments, only imagining just how much dirt Isobel must have on Michael, on either of her siblings, really. “I wonder if I can get it out of her next time she and I go for drinks,” he teases, raising his hands in a sign of peace when Michael scowls at him.

“Okay, relax,” he continues appeasing, shaking his head. “You can keep whatever embarrassing thing Isobel has on you a secret, it’s fine. So, are you going to do it?”

Michael shrugs. “It’s Iz; there’s nothing she’s threatening me with, no matter how much it amuses you to think so. It’s just I don’t like to say no to her. To rile her up sure, but she’s my sister and if she wants to put me in some ridiculous and in her own words ‘demeaning’ Halloween costume, to raise money for the Immigrant rights fund, who am I to say no? One, I get to show off the goods, which I have no problem with-“

“That’s because you have no shame,” Alex cuts in, with a quirk of his lips.

“Thought you liked that about me,” Michael drawls out, his eyes hooded in Alex’s direction.

The look sends warmth directly to Alex’s belly, and he finds himself holding his beer bottle tighter to keep from reaching out to Michael, pulling him out of his chair and settling him on his lap. Michael has a sly grin on his face as he watches, letting him know that while he might be controlling his impulses, he might not be doing as well controlling his face from showing what he wants.

“Among other things,” Alex answers, unable to keep from rising to the challenge. It’s a game he and Michael have started to play now that their friendship is established, and there is a quiet understanding that more is inevitable, underneath. He gives Michael a heated look, the kind that Michael has always responded to by pushing him against the nearest flat surface. The way Michael swallows now, his eyes on Alex's mouth as he licks his lips, tells Alex he's thinking about it. "What's two?"

"Huh?" Michael grunts, obviously lost in thought. Alex bites down on his bottom lip to keep from pushing for more.

They're taking their time with this.

"You said one," He continues, going for safer ground, instead of pushing the subject. "What's two?"

Michael's face brightens, taking on a wickedly amused expression. "Two, it will be hilarious to see the faces of the bigots as Isobel raises money for immigrants just because people are thirsty in this town."

Alex smiles, sharing Michael's amusement. "Almost makes me want to go."

Michael frowns. "You're not coming?"

Alex scoffs. "It's not like I'll be bidding on some straight guy, and I'm smart enough not to let your sister get dirt on me to blackmail me into participating as part of the auction. I'll just give Isobel a donation check."

"Don't you want to see what horrible costume Isobel puts me in?"

"And watch the real housewives of Roswell start a bidding war over you?" Alex frowns back at him. "I'm not actually a masochist."

Michael throws him a smirk, but Alex can see underneath the façade, a tiny bit of insecurity. “You think I’ll start a bidding war? Is that your way of telling me you think I’m pretty, Manes?”

Alex rolls his eyes, using every bit of his military hardass persona to keep from blushing. “Don’t fish for compliments, you have a mirror in that tin can you call home.”

Michael shakes his head as he lets out a laugh, and Alex can’t help but grin back at the man as he gives him a soft look.

“Fine, don’t come,” Michael gives him a fake pout, he bends his head down and looks at Alex through his lashes and the curls that have been getting longer. “Maybe we can meet up after Isobel is done objectifying me. Dinner at your place?”

“You might have to stay with your bid winner,” Alex reminds him, hoping his face doesn’t show how much he dislikes the idea.

“Alex,” Michael says his name gently, tilting his head to the side. “Meet me afterwards, okay?”

Alex licks his lips and finds himself nodding, helpless to say no. “Okay.”

 ***

 Isobel’s Halloween event rolls around, and Alex tries to pretend it hasn’t been putting him in a foul mood to think about it. He had lunch with Isobel a few days prior, and she had shown him pictures of some of the costumes she was going to put the volunteers in, they were brow-raising to be sure, but she had refused to show him what she was going to put Michael in. The downright devilish smirk on her face told him everything he needed to know.

“You could come and actually see for yourself, you know,” she had countered when he asked again to tell him. “Maybe bid on him and finally get your man.”

Alex shook his head at that, that’s not how he wanted Michael and him to reunite. They were building towards something real; he wasn’t going to let his impatience or his jealousy get the better of him. Michael deserved better than that. They both deserved better than a trashy town event with small-minded people.

Isobel just rolled her eyes at him as she dug into her salmon and warned him not to call one of her events trashy, though she didn’t argue the small-minded people part.

No, instead of going, he was going to stay in his cabin and wait for Michael. He has steaks marinating and a nice pasta side planned. He wasn’t sure how Michael was going to get out of having to stay with his bid winner, but Michael had asked him to wait for him, and that’s exactly what he planned to do.

He’s in the kitchen, making sure he has everything for dinner when his phone buzzes with an incoming text, followed by a couple more in rapid succession.

‘Change of plans.’

‘Isobel has lost her damn mind.’

‘I didn’t think I was capable of feeling embarrassment, but damn was I wrong.’

‘Alex, if you ever loved me, you’ll get here now and get me out of this.’

Alex raises an eyebrow at that last text, for all their talking and acknowledgment of their feelings; both a skittish of using the L-word.

Without a second thought, he grabs his keys and his wallet and heads for the car.

He gets to where Isobel is hosting the event in under 30 minutes, not even pausing when one of the door people ask him for his invitation. His stone-cold stare more than enough to shut the poor guy up, he’d feel bad, but he has something more important to worry about then his lack of manners. He looks around at the mostly female gathering, all in costumes, some more revealing than others, and in cheerful moods anticipating the night's entertainments.

He spots Isobel by the bar and makes a beeline for her. She sees him before he gets to her, and the smirk she sends his way makes even his harden Air Force ass nervous for a moment, and he wonders not for the first time if it was a wise move to become friends with her.

“I knew you’d cave,” she says smugly.

“I came because I got a series of alarming texts from Michael,” he starts, giving her an unimpressed look, because no one, not even Isobel Evans is going to out bitch him. “What monstrosity did you put him in, Isobel?”

Isobel’s grin widens if possible, and it’s obvious she’s trying hard not to laugh. “You want a sneak peek, Alex? That way, you’ll know just how much you are going to have to spend tonight to win him?”

Alex doesn’t answer, just shoots her another look and starts to follow her when she beckons him with a curl of her index finger, making her way toward the back behind the setup stage and down a narrow hall.

She knocks on a black door, letting out a huff when it’s met with silence.

She knocks again, harder.

“I’m not coming out like this, Iz,” Michael yells from behind the door. “I don’t care what I promised, you suck.”

Isobel snorts, her eyes twinkling with glee.

“Damn, Isobel,” Alex comments softly. “Just how bad is it?”

Isobel just shakes, and Alex realizes that it’s with silent laughter.

“Oh, Alex,” she breathes. “Wait till you see him.”

Alex stares at Isobel for another moment, before he knocks on the door himself. “Guerin, open up, I’m here.”

“Alex?” Michael asks tentatively.

“Yeah.”

“You came,” comes back through the door, his voice surprised and hopeful as he turns the knob.

“You said you needed me,” he starts as the door opens. He trails off as Michael comes into view. He opens his mouth, but no words come out, not when Michael is standing there, in that. He looks back at Isobel, who is practically vibrating with satisfaction.

"Isobel,”  he hisses as he takes in Michael's appearance, the leather straps, the tiny blue fabric, all that skin.  He doesn't know if he should throw a blanket over Michael or throw him down on the floor. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

“No,” Michael answers for her, a sour expression on his face. “She’s just a horrible sister.”

Isobel scoffs, lacking any remorse. “If anything, I’m paying you a compliment! That I actually think you can pull this look off.”

Alex watches as Michael stares down his sister for a couple of more seconds before he rolls his eyes, his lips twitching as he gives her an exasperated look. “You’re such a brat, Isobel,” he mutters, his voice fond, the smile Isobel gives him no longer smug but equally warm.

“You two are so weird,” he comments, realizing that this is a part of sibling relationships he’ll never get because he doesn’t have it with his brothers. The closest he’s had to this sibling need to rib each other is his relationships with Liz and Maria. He rolls his eyes when they both grin at him.

“He’s not going out like this,” he continues, holding up his hand when Isobel goes to argue and pulls out his wallet and the blank check he had put away for his donation, handing it over to Isobel. “Fill it with the amount you feel is best.”

He turns to Michael. “Pants, Guerin,” he orders. “I have steaks marinating back home, and I need a drink. I’ll be in the car.” He doesn’t wait for either of them to say anything and instead walks away, muttering to himself about crazy dramatic aliens.

 ***

 They get back to the cabin a little over an hour since he first left his home, Alex heads straight for the kitchen, confident that Michael will follow him. He pulls out two beers, placing one in front of Michael as he lifts himself to sit on the kitchen counter. Alex leans against the sink across from him and takes a good gulp, drinking half the bottle before pausing.  Michael, who thank god is back in his usual cowboy clothes, watches him, his beer hanging off his hand that rests between his knees. Alex takes a moment to study him, he looks comfortable in Alex’s kitchen, but that’s about as comfortable as he looks right now. The car ride had been pretty quiet, and now the silence has gone on too long, and awkwardness is starting to settle in between them. Alex hates it.

“What I don’t get is why you agreed to put on the outfit in the first place if it made you uncomfortable,” Alex questions. “Isobel was teasing, but she wouldn’t force you to go out like that if you didn’t want to.”

Michael shrugs, peeling at the label of his beer. “I wasn’t uncomfortable at first. I thought the costume was hilarious when she first showed it to me.”

“And very on brand, you even have your own hat,” Alex comments, making Michael chuckle.

“A cowboy, through and through,” Michael jokes, there is a boyish playful look on his face that always riles Alex up.

Alex clears his throat, trying to clear his thoughts too. “It works for you.”

Michael raises an eyebrow at him, a slow smile making it’s way to his face. “Guess that answers my question from the reunion. It didn’t get old for you,” he states, challenging.

Alex pushes off the counter and walks towards him, his pulse racing as Michael spreads his legs some more to let him in. He places his beer next to Michael, his hands gripping Michael’s thighs, smiling when he lets out a shaky breath. “I think we’ve established that it’s always worked for me.”

Michael gives him a grin, his eyes bright and Alex decides that they’ve wasted enough time, he lifts a hand to Michael’s hair and starts to tug him closer. For once, they seem to be on the same page because Michael is more than ready for him, leaning down and pressing his lips against Alex’s with a relieved sigh passing between them.

Alex savors the taste he’s gone too long without, his hands slightly shaking as he cradles Michael’s face and pours all the love and longing he’s been carrying around into their kiss. He can’t stop the wet laugh that escapes when they part as Michael continues to touch him, a happy grin on the face Alex loves ever so much.

“I didn’t want anyone else to see me like that,” Michael whispers as he touches his forehead against Alex.

He frowns confused, and Michael must feel it because he lets out a small laugh before continuing. “The costume was ridiculous,” he starts to explain. “I wasn’t embarrassed by it, but when I put it on, I knew I didn’t want anyone else to see me in it but you. I didn’t want to go on a date with anyone but you, I wanted to just come straight here and have dinner as we planned.”

Michael pulls back to look at him, those whiskey-colored eyes of his, shiny and wet.

“I don’t want to be with anyone but you, Alex,” Michael says, holding on to his hands. “So, can we just be together now?”

Alex nods, swallowing over the lump in his throat, his heart thumping hard against his chest at Michael’s words.

Michael lets out a relieved exhale, and Alex just has to kiss him again.

They get lost in it, no rush as Michael sits on his counter, and he leans against him.

“The costume wasn’t so bad,” he says between kisses.

Michael pulls away, laughing.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you in it again,” he teases, feeling his cheeks go hot at the memory of the outfit and the smirk that Michael gives him now.

“You’d have to ask Isobel for it,” Michael warns, the grin on his face so smug.

Alex makes a face because no, he doesn’t want to do that.

Michael chuckles again at the face he makes. “Well, we don’t have the cowboy outfit, but I do have a hat…” he trails off, his hands going to the top button of his shirt, popping it open.

Alex pulls him off the counter as Michael opens another button, still laughing as Alex leads him to the bedroom. “The steaks can wait.”

[robronsecretsanta]

(we will be together) if the fates allow. pt. 1

for @raelee514 aaron/robert a coffee shop AU in three parts

ao3 link

“Careful with that one,” Ellis muttered as he squeezed through the door next to him and struggled to untie the knot in the back of his apron in a hurry to finally get home for the holidays. “Proper Christmas Grinch,” he clarified, giving a subtle-not-so-subtle nod towards a bloke sitting on the corner table at the window with his back towards them, head buried deep in his laptop and an extra large cup of coffee on hand.

“Probably, cause you‘re so charming, eh?” Aaron smirked at him before pulling his dark woolen bobble hat off. It was dripping now that the warmth of the coffee shop had started to work against the dozens of snowflakes that Aaron had brought in with him and he couldn‘t help himself but try and shake some of the drops of water out right against the younger man‘s face.

Ellis‘ corresponding eye-roll earned him a well-meant slap to the back.

Grumpy facade aside, Aaron was the kind of boss who‘d fight a war for his employees, if need be. Especially when faced with some snotty baby boomer, who enjoyed getting offended by just the thought of having to wait in a line for a full three minutes when coming into the shop right at the “last chance to get caffeine before university starts” rush hour of eight forty-five, or some hipster-y part-time-vegan philosophy student who got a kick out of sending back half-eaten cookies five times over for tasting too sweet or too artificial in the hopes of bagging himself a free meal. But that aside, they both knew that - a lot like Aaron himself - Ellis tended to have quite the mouth on him when someone rubbed him the wrong way.

Even more so when he was working the much hated Christmas Eve shift.

Once Ellis had disappeared to his locker to pack it in for the day, Aaron grabbed his own apron and pulled it over his head, giving the machines and the bakery display a quick once-over before taking his place at the counter to face the last few hours of the Christmas shift.

He never much minded it to be honest.

Being his own boss had been Aaron‘s dream ever since he had had to earn his first few pennies as a mechanic under Cain‘s hard-nosed look. All his dodgy ways aside, his uncle had always taken his business incredibly seriously and while Aaron had respected that and had found it something to look up to, 16-year-old him would have respected getting to decide on his own lunch hours and ending up with more than a tenner in his pocket after spending a full eight hours under a bonnet in the burning August heat even more.

And this shop had been his chance at all of that and more. So when the opportunity had come up a little over a year ago, with one of their old customers declaring over a broken shock mount that he was about to move to Germany to make a go of it with his bird and leave his old shop behind without a new owner in sight, Aaron‘s ears had perked up.

Yes, he had only been 25 and yes he hadn‘t know a thing about running a business, but he had loved tea ever since he could remember - a good cuppa sometimes being the only bright spot in his day back when those had consisted of nothing but screaming matches and trouble - and he barely went a day without coffee since an ex-boyfriend of his had dragged him to France for a couple of months, his relationship with the caffeinated liquid the only one that had made it back up north without ending up in tatters.

So he had scoured every savings account and sock for every last penny of his savings. And when that hadn‘t been enough, he had swallowed most of his pride and gotten himself a half-decent loan with the help of his family. Because say what you like about the Dingles, but for what often seemed like a mismatched bunch of thugs and simpletons from the outside, they had always been exceptionally good at coming together to support their own. And they could be incredibly resourceful when need be as well. (Though to this day Aaron would rather not know where Cain and Charity had dug up their respective shares.)

Which was how he had ended up here now.

With a shop of his own, working on Christmas Eve of all days and enjoying every minute of it in a way he never thought he would, the constant grinding of the coffee machines behind him and the bitter smell of caffeine in the air calming his usually so busy mind in a way he‘d never expected it to, but treasured all the more for it. Keeping his shop open for most of the Christmas holiday, even if not as long as usual, had been the one of Aaron‘s best ideas to date. Those days always earning him a few new customers, searching souls who had been let down by all the usual chains and ended up stumbling into the little corner shop in desperate need of a cuppa or maybe just a bit of peace and quiet.

Aaron could relate.

Especially to the latter one, when he himself still had a classic Christmas Dingle do ahead of him later in the evening.

It was why he always liked to send the boys home earlier than usual on Christmas Eve and end the shift all by himself. His place behind the counter had somehow become Aaron‘s own little oasis of calm, carved out for himself amidst the holiday rush.

“Seriously, mate,“ Matty chimed in in a whisper from his place at the till after having overheard the exchange between Aaron and Ellis, dragging his boss from his daydream with it. “He‘s been sitting there since half nine this morning, complaining about everything like a right muppet and with a face like someone‘s just run over his favourite cat and his grandma in one go.” It came out as an annoyed sigh.

There was a quick pause before he added, “could give yours a run for its money, I reckon.”

Aaron furrowed his brows at him and turned to take a closer look at the bloke.

He didn‘t seem like your typical troublemaker, but the light brown elbow patches adorning his dark blue blazer and the thick, black coat hanging over the back of his chair that looked like it might have cost more than Aaron made in a month gave him just enough of an air of poshness to make him the type to complain about his cappuccino only being topped by one instead of the recommended 1.5 inches of foam. And yet there was also something familiar and warm about the man and the way he kept running his hand through his wild blond hair in frustration, strands sticking up in every direction at the back of his head.

Not enough though to make Aaron dismiss Matty‘s judgement out of hand.

Unlike for Ellis, this wasn‘t Matty‘s first stint as a barista. He had survived two years at the local Starbucks before Aaron had taken him on, which meant that he had spent two entire years of his life selling completely overpriced muck to every customer imaginable and somehow keeping a straight face when asked for such atrocities as Unicorn Frappuccinos with almond milk, 6 shots and no whip.

So there usually was absolutely nothing a customer could do to truly put Matty off.

(It was also the reason Aaron had earned himself a massive, unwanted hug from him when he‘d explained that his plan was to just sell coffee and tea, the menu no carrying a single beverage with more than five syllables in its name, nor anything pumpkin spice or snickerdoodle flavoured, thank you very much.)

Which meant that if Matty called someone difficult, they had to be an absolute nightmare.

—

Robert‘s phone started to vibrate yet again with the fifth video call request from Victoria in as many hours. Before that it has just been a slew of text messages, but his little sister had always been incredibly determined when need be so the chances of her giving up any time soon were minimal to say the least.

Robert had tried.

He really had.

Because it was Christmas and he loved his sister. But also because, as much as he didn‘t ever want to admit it out loud, the loneliness of the bachelor life he had suddenly found himself  forced into was starting to eat away at him.

So he had ordered a ridiculous amount of presents for Vic and Diane online and let them eat away at his savings in an attempt to make up for lost time. Had folded his nicest shirts neatly and ironed all his pants before putting them into his travel bag. He had showered and shaved and - for what was probably the first time in the month since he had had to ditch the slightly upscale room in a B&B he had called home for almost half a year in favour of a tiny one-bedroom apartment for lack of funds -  put some effort into his hair instead of just letting it greasily stick to his forehead, because he couldn‘t even be bothered about the pizza delivery guy realising what a mess of a human he really was. Not that the four orders a week hadn‘t already been a dead giveaway anyway.

And then he had stuffed everything into his car to drive. The fact alone that he had gotten into the front seat with a direction in mind, instead of yet again only having an aimless drive with the only purpose of making the night go by a little faster ahead of him had been enough to put a smile on his face, so he had turned up some Top100 station on the radio and sung along to Cher and Chris Rae in full force. And then he‘d driven out of Leeds and onto the highway and as the sky got darker around him and snowflakes started to dribble onto his windshield until he could barely see the street ahead of him Chris Rae started to sing about all the memories he was driving home for Christmas with just that one time too many for Robert not to remember that in actuality he would far prefer it to drive as far away from all those memories as his Porsche would take him, then to let them hit him again with full force.

So he had left the highway and stopped at the first Motel he could find.

In Hotten.

Not Emmerdale.

Because deep down underneath all the charm and his own illusion of grandeur, Robert had always been a coward at heart and Hotten‘s town sign had been as far as he could manage to drive before it had felt as if his stomach was about to turn with the images that were burning in his mind. Old ones of his dad screaming at him with a red face and wide eyes, of belts with silver metal buckles and burning barns.

But also new ones.

Scenarios that hadn‘t played out in front of him yet, but that his mind enjoyed to torture him with anyway as if they were absolutely certainties. Unavoidable horrors yet to come. Like the disappointment Robert was bound to find in Diane‘s eyes the moment he would take a step through her door or the footless guilt that Victoria would try to hide behind bitten lips and red cheeks for not having been a shoulder to lean on, as if Robert would have let her anyway.

His phone beeped again and he turned it on its screen just so he wouldn‘t have to look at Vic‘s smiling face looking up at him from it anymore.

God, he needed another coffee.

—

It took almost an hour before Aaron got to really meet the guy that Matty and Ellis had been so happy to throw their “asshole of the month” award at after only spending a mere six hours in his presence.

Aaron had made himself comfortable at table closest to the sales counter with the books spread out in front of him, gnawing on the cap of his ballpoint pen. It was almost four now and the shop was even quieter now than it had been an hour ago, the only customers a young couple completely oblivious to the world around them with their ankles wrapped around each other under the table and their noses almost buried in their respective hot chocolates and the apparent Christmas Grinch who hadn‘t moved from his place in the corner. It had been the perfect opportunity for Aaron to try and get a handle on his budget for the new year, or so he thought.

He had only been lost in thought for a minute or two - the year of running his own place not enough to have stopped numbers and calculations from giving him a right headache just like they had back in school - when the blond was bellowing, his voice carrying through the room and almost making Aaron jump.

“Can anyone around here be bothered to actually work and serve a half decent cup of coffee, for fuck‘s sake?” Out of the corner of his eye, Aaron see him standing at the opposite side of the counter now, one hand grabbing its top tightly as he leaned over and tried to peer into the backroom in hopes of finding someone to yell at the other waving his empty coffee cup. Seemingly, he hadn‘t noticed Aaron hunched over at his table yet, though that wasn‘t all that surprising with all the colourful Christmas decorations that Matty and Ellis had outvoted him on and the till obscuring the view.

“Just a minute, mate.”

Aaron had been doing this for long enough now to know when to pull his best fake-happy customer service voice out of his bag of tricks and this was just it. Calmly, he pushed his chair back and got up, dropping the pen onto the table without a care as he took a deep breath and plastered an overly kind smile onto his face before he turned to face the his new least favourite customer.

The corners of his mouth dropped as quickly as he‘d pulled them upwards as his eyes were met with green-blue ones, high cheekbones and a nose scattered with freckles that he couldn‘t make out with the distance that the counter was putting between the two of them, but could have drawn a map of in his sleep anyway for having spent so many restless nights in hotel rooms softly tracing them with his ring finger in a desperate attempt to commit every inch of the man to memory.

“Robert.”

It wasn‘t a question, just a whisper thrown into the space between them, low and unbelieving.

“Aaron.”

[saras-almanac]

new years night [robert/aaron, roblivion + noah and jack]

summary: A quiet night in at the Mill to celebrate the new year. 

I have no excuses about this. I just wanted to write it. Noah’s appearance wasn’t that surprising, but Jack’s was a bit. But these two lads wouldn’t let any kid have no where to go. So enjoy. 

Robert shuffled down the stairs, tying his dressing gown tighter around himself. Aaron was already there, frying up some breakfast for them.

“What’s all this?” Robert asked, walking behind Aaron and wrapping his arms around his husband’s waist.

“What’s it look like?” Aaron said. “Breakfast.”

“So New Year’s isn’t canceled like Christmas?” Robert asked.

Aaron elbowed him. “Who says it’s for you anyway?”

“I thought it was dead romantic that you went full on grinch when we thought I was being charged,” Robert said.

“You would’ve done the same,” Aaron defended, his face pinking slightly.

Robert just kissed his cheek and nuzzled closer to him. “I’m not denying that.”

“Actually, you’d have probably marched into the village and personally went to every house and took down all their decorations,” Aaron said.

“Well, if we can’t celebrate, no one else should either,” Robert agreed.

“You’re ridiculous.” Aaron laughed.

“So are you. But you love me,” Robert said.

“I suppose I must,” Aaron said, turning a bit to face him. “I married ya, didn’t I?”

Robert just grinned and kissed him because he could and he was happy.

“Are you two ever not snogging?” Liv rolled her eyes as she walked over to the counter to pour herself a cup of coffee.

“Morning, Liv,” Robert said as Aaron pushed him toward the table. “Excited for the new year?”

Liv shrugged. “Hoping it’s better than last year.”

“It will be,” Aaron said as he brought a plate over for Liv.

“You don’t know that,” Liv said.

“Aaron’s right,” Robert said. “You’re doing so well, Liv. You’re focused on school and your future. That’s a good thing.”

“And what if I fail again?” Liv asked.

Aaron glanced down at Robert. “Then we deal with it together, yeah?”

“I promise ya, it’s not the end of the world if you fail your re-sits,” Robert said, ignoring the look Aaron shot him. “There’s still other things we can do. It’s not over.”

Liv nodded and looked down.

Robert reached his leg out to kick at her foot lightly. “But there’s no point worrying about that right now, is there?”

“It’s just waiting around sucks.”

“We could go do something today, if ya like?” Aaron suggested.

“Don’t you two have couple plans?” Liv asked.

“There’s that birthday do at the pub for Ryan,” Aaron said. “But otherwise I think we were just having a night in.”

Robert nodded. “We could go into town for the day or hang out here. Of I can take ya somewhere with your friends.”

“Staying in sounds good,” Liv said. “I don’t have the energy for Charity today. Or Gabby really.”

“We could just watch a film or something,” Aaron suggested.

“Or,” Robert said. “There’s that Lost in Space thing on Netflix you’ve wanted to watch.”

“We’re not watching that,” Aaron argued.

“But Liv might want to,” Robert argued back. “I think we should let Liv decide.”

“You say that because you think she’ll agree with you.”

“I can’t help that Liv and I have better taste in films than you.”

“There’s that new Black Mirror thing where you pick your endings or whatever,” Liv suggested. “Maybe that?”

“Yeah. But only if you’re sure you don’t want to do anything else,” Aaron said. But Robert didn’t miss the soft smile on Aaron’s face.

“Yeah. I’m sure,” Liv said.

“All right. I’ll head to the shop later to get some pizzas and stuff,” Aaron said, finally sitting down next to Robert and passing him a full plate.

Liv looked up at Robert and he knew that she wanted him to go to make sure they had chocolate. Liv never thought Aaron got the right kind. Privately, Robert agreed—all chocolate wasn’t the same—but he’d never tell his husband that.

“I’ll go in with ya,” Robert said.

Aaron smiled softly at him and nodded.

“We’ll just have a little family night in then,” Robert said, grinning down at his breakfast, missing the soft looks between Aaron and Liv. It was just really nice to have a family that loved him and actually wanted to spend time with him.

Of course, their quiet, family night in didn’t end up that way.

While they were at the shop, the ran into Noah who asked if he could stay over. Apparently Charity’s latest good-mothering kick only extended to Debbie and Ryan and he just didn’t want to be around for that. It wasn’t like they could say no to that, even if they had wanted to.

After they’d gathered Noah and his stuff, they’d passed Diane and Jack out for a quick walk. Jack asked if he could stay at Uncle Robert’s too since Noah was. Again, they wouldn’t have said no either way, but it was hard to even consider it when they each had asked so sincerely.

Robert had texted Liv just to let her know the change of plans, but she seemed fine with it. Robert figured it was because she just didn’t want to go out with people who might drink and just wanted to spend some time with him and Aaron.

So now here they all were, stuffed full of pizza and snacks, watching the ending to some show that Noah and Liv had heard about. They’d video-called Sarah in the hospital since Jack wanted to wish his sister a happy new year and Robert had promised that they’ll come for a visit tomorrow.

Jack had fallen asleep on Robert about an hour ago. Aaron’s arm was around his shoulders, his hand idly playing with Robert’s hair. Liv and Noah had set up camp on the floor in front of the sofa and had nearly bitten Aaron’s head off when he suggested they watch a countdown or something more related to celebrating the new year.

Aaron’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out. “It’s one minute till the new year.”

“Did you set an alarm?” Robert asked.

“I thought they might want to count down,” Aaron said, nodding down toward Liv and Noah.

“You just wanted to count down to have a reason to snog Robert again,” Liv said as she sat up a bit. “Not like you actually need an excuse. He is your husband.”

Robert laughed and Aaron shot him a look of betrayal. “Sorry. It’s just really cute.”

“It’s the new year. Nothing cute about that,” Aaron grumbled.

Robert was the one who ended up starting the count-down since he knew Aaron wouldn’t anymore and Liv wasn’t about to act like she wanted them to kiss at midnight. Those two were as bad as each other.

Noah joined in and Jack woke up just enough to look around blearily and confused before getting excited that it was midnight.

Robert did sneak a quick kiss from Aaron at midnight because it was what one was supposed to do with their spouse at midnight.

“All right. Off to bed with you,” Robert said and picked Jack up. He was almost asleep again by the time Robert stood up. “Are you lot staying up longer?”

“I want to finish this episode first,” Liv said. “Not sure how much longer after that.”

“Well, you know where everything is,” Aaron said as he stood as well. “Just don’t stay up until dawn, yeah?”

“Man you two are lame,” Liv said. “It’s not even been a minute yet and you’re already going to bed.”

“We stayed up till midnight,” Robert told her. “That’s all that’s required of this day.”

“Yeah, whatever. Go to bed,” Liv said and waved a hand at them.

“Night,” Aaron said and started up the stairs.

“Night you two,” Robert said. “See you in the morning.”

Noah nodded at him and waved a bit before turning back to the show.

Robert carefully put Jack to sleep in the little cot they’d set up in Seb’s room for him. Noah wanted a room for himself and obviously they didn’t want him to sleep in Liv’s room. It worked out fine and Jack was already completely sound asleep. He tucked him in and walked out of the room, quietly pulling the door shut a bit so the light and sound wouldn’t wake him.

Aaron nearly pounced on him the second he’d set foot in their bedroom. Aaron’s arms wound around Robert’s neck as he kissed Robert intensely. Robert could only hold on and go with it.

“What was that for?” Robert asked.

“I just wanted to kiss my husband at midnight,” Aaron said. “Not a problem, is it?”

“Course not.”

Robert let Aaron push him over to the bed and they celebrated they way that they celebrate everything really: mind-blowing sex and a cuddle. In Robert’s mind, that was the best way to start the new year off.

[rotzaprachim]

good God, let me give you my life

(Mattelektra, Teen, language, fluffy college flashbacks + also pain because these two just won’t leave me alone)

--- 

"We should get married."

It slips out of his mind without thinking, lulled by the quiet peace of the morning. It's a Saturday and neither of them have anywhere particularly important to be, so they're lying in on Elektra's bed, feeling the lazy heat of the sun through her massive windows. The only time he's gotten up all morning is to try to make a coffee on her fancy machine, only to be befuddled by the inaccessible smooth, unmarked switches and electronic screen. (He's helped by strong arms that snake around him from behind, her face burying distracting in his neck.)

Now they're back between her sheets, Matt wrapped around her as she pages through the weekend headlines on her i-pad, reading out the most outrageous headlines with her usual biting, accented commentary. He says that, though, and he immediately regrets it from the way she stills beneath him, heart skipping a beat.

Shit. Fuck. Bloody fucking hell. No no no, everything with Elektra is casual and dangerous and it's all going to end when the semester's over and she goes back to her rich girl life in Athens and he's left to-

Her voice, harder and icier than he's ever heard it, cuts through his downward trajectory.

"If you were ever going to pull this Catholic guilt bullshit on me, I would have thought it would be after the first time you fucked me in the back of a stolen Maserati."

He chuckles, a veiled affirmation that yes, he would have gotten down on one knee right then and there (or, down on his knees in a different manner of speaking) if she'd only asked. Because he'd been gone from their first conversation in the tight-ass faculty party, that she was the sea that had pulled him under and that he'd be happy to drown in forever.

It isn't just about the sex. (Although there's plenty of that as well.) It's about the sync they find themselves in, the daily give-and-take that he'd be happy to live in forever. It's about the long hours they spend in the public library poring over their work (and maybe making out in periodicals.) It's about the shared mission they go on to scare off the Starbucks employee who won't leave one of the freshmen girls alone. (Matt's the good cop, Elektra scares him till he shits himself in an alley, the man never resurfaces.)

It's about the time she drags him all the way out to the Bronx on the subway to go to some Cambodian restaurant that pricks tears in the corners of her eyes. It smells like lime juice, chili paste, coconut milk and fish sauce, and, for Elektra, home. (She had a life before being the richer-than-God greek heiress, she offhandedly mentions over a table laden with fish amok, nom banh chok, Angkor beer. And for the first time, Matt has a feeling he might know a little about what it was. She keeps a tighter eye on money than any other trust-fund kid he's ever met but is looser with her wallet when it comes to tipping and buskers.)

It's about the times when they get drunk off their asses and collapse on his couch, screaming about the injustices of the world, young and dumb and fool-headed enough to think that they'll be able to do something about them.

It's about the fact that this is the longest romantic relationship Matt's ever been involved in, the closest he's felt to another human being in years, and he better not fuck it up with his grand plans for the future.

"Not now. My parent's got married young, and that- it didn't work out."

She relaxes a bit under his touch, her hand reaching out to run through his hair.

"But one day, you know. When I'm the fearless defender of New York-"

"Mmmhmmm," she intones, egging him on.

"Lawyer by day, protector of truth and justice who fights bravely on behalf of the innocent and the wronged." There's a hit of sarcasm in his tone that shakes him to the core because really, jokes aside, isn't that exactly who he's trying to become?

"And what are you by night?" Her voice is almost a purr and it sends a shiver through him.

"Well, in the evenings, I'm arm candy to the honorable Elektra Paraskevi Natchios, brilliant reformer of modern Greece. Does a lot of work with women's groups, immigrants, students- her people fucking adore her."

"Fuck no. That sounds positively monarchist. My father would approve."

"Fine. You're the ambassador then. Can't argue with that, can you, miss International diplomacy?"

She laughs. Fucking music. "I suppose not." And kisses him.

"So tell me, Matthew, what about later at night, after the boring meetings are done? Who are you then?"

He positions himself over her, leaning down and feeling her laugh into his kiss.

"I think, Miss Natchios," he runs his hands up her sides, lifting the loose sleep shirt, "that's up to you to decide." And there isn't a lot more talking for a while after that.

-o0o-

"Alright," she says afterward. "I'll do it."

"What?"

"Marry you. One day. Three conditions, though."

"Hit me."

"No children. Which might be hard to wrap around that Irish Catholic brain of yours, but-"

"Sure." He surprises her with the intensity of his answer. "Any other demands?"

"It's in secret. No Greek tabloids, no way my father can use it to rub shoulders with politicians and the godfathers of the night."

"Can Foggy come? I mean, I think we need a witness."

"Don't think you can stop him."

"What's the last thing, sweetie?"

He can feel her smirk. "Not one of those tacky Irish rings with the hands and the heart and the crown and all that crap."

He pretends to feel offended. "A claddagh ring? You've broken my heart, Miss Natchios."

"I don't think your heart was ever mine to break."

"It always has been. And it always will be."

----- o0o-----

They get on with their day, second cups of coffee and class assignments and gyros for lunch and then continually beating each other in the ring at the gym. And then falling asleep on her couch to the sound of one of the romantic comedies she secretly has a thing for. And then he wakes up early the next morning while she's still passed out asleep and dressed for Mass and heads back to his shitty apartment.

They don't talk about their conversation. They don't talk about the future, beyond wild drunk hypothesi about why most of the federal administration has irrevocably screwed up both America and the world.

It doesn't even come up again until he's laying on a freezing marble countertop and watching her slice expensive cheese on his abs, and she talks about what happens "when we get married" and follows it off with a long list of things that push it into the realm of fairytales, and he laughs and plays along because it's a joke, but he can't help but wonder if it's always been a joke to her.

And then Roscoe Sweeney happens.

And not for the first time in his life, Matt's world rends itself apart.

After, when he's walked the miles home, the endless blocks in air that nips at his skin because he's a dumb ass who forgot to bring a jacket- After, when he's finally calmed himself down about the possibility of police of worse, Roscoe Sweeney's thugs coming to call- After, when he's finally got the door dead-bolted behind him, he reaches under his mattress and digs out a tiny box, velvet under his fingertips. He can even smell the hint of pure metal in the air.

(It cost so damn much. It cost more than any single physical thing he's ever bought, more than the IKEA futon or the junkyard fridge Foggy helped him fix up or the three piece suit he was leant as a charity case. He didn't need to spend that much- Elektra has never asked him to spend anything on her, and he hadn't really been able too, even though it interfered with every rule of chivalry his dad had ground into him and Elektra had dismissed as archaic. But he'd wanted to, wanted to show her a glimpse of the future he had planned for them, and so with the aggravated shop attendant's help [and Foggy's, because even in whatever haze he was in he knew better than to trust the attendant's advice] he's chosen a double-shank gold ring with a ruby. Modern. Red. Gold. Her.)

First thing the next morning, he throws the box into the Hudson.

Ten years later, he wants it back.

[v-for-vandetta]

All of the numbers >:)

Yeah, figures.

1:Name

Van Galaxy

2:Age

Only 19

3:3 Fears

Failure to meet expectations, the reality that I never earned anything I worked for, discovering that I am exactly who I think I am

4:3 things I love

My friends, music, memes

5:4 turn ons

Genuineness, loving things with no shame, a sly wit, and apparently when they let their hair down

6:4 turn offs

Pursuing things solely for money, elitism, pandering, insincerity

7:My best friend

I don’t think I’m theirs anymore

8:Sexual orientation

Ace

9:My best first date

We watched Little Shop of Horrors

10:How tall am I?

5′7″

11:What/Who do I miss?

My friends in California

12:What time was I born?

Don’t know the time specifically, but it was on a Monday

13:Favourite color

Slytherin Green

14:Do I have a crush?

For once, yeah

15:Favourite quote

“Keep moving forward” - Walt Disney

16:Favourite place

My room

17:Favourite food

Can’t go wrong with pizza

18:Do I use sarcasm?

Gee, I dunno. What do you think?

19:What am I listening to right now?

Cuphead soundtrack

20:First thing I notice in a new person

Their face?

21:Shoe size

9

22:Eye color

Brown

23:Hair color

Black

24:Favourite style of clothing

“Asshole chic”, according to a friend

25:Ever done a prank call?

Not really

27:Meaning behind my URL

My name is Van and I like V for Vendetta

28:Favourite movie

Meet the Robinsons

29:Favourite song

Dust and Ashes, Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

30:Favourite band

Really feelin’ Simon and Garfunkel right now

31:How I feel right now

A little shitty

32:Someone I love

Ol’ buddy ol’ pal @sourdohjoe​

33:My current relationship status

Single and cripplingly afraid to mingle

34:My relationship with my parents

We’re chill

35:Favourite holiday

Christmastime

36:Tattoos and piercings i have

None

37:Tattoos and piercings i want

None

38:The reason I joined Tumblr

Friends convinced me too

39:Do I and my last ex hate each other?

We’re both mutually concerned about each other’s happiness

40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Not as much anymore

41:Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

My mom? Yeah

42:When did I last hold hands?

I can’t remember anymore

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

Usually half an hour

44:Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?

Nah

45:Where am I right now?

In my room

46:If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Statistically, my fencing captain

47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

Reasonably loud

48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

During summers, yeah

49:Am I excited for anything?

Just trying to live day to day, man

50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

I try not to do that

51:How often do I wear a fake smile?

Heh

52:When was the last time I hugged someone?

Yesterday

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

Mom and Dad kiss all the time

As an aside you’re gonna have to specify what kind of kissing you mean; just to be clear I do NOT make out with my mom

54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

Yeah

55:What is something I disliked about today?

I drank

56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I don’t really care about that kind of stuff?

57:What do I think about most?

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory...

58:What’s my strangest talent?

I have gotten stopped at security checkpoints for having odd musical instruments in my bag

59:Do I have any strange phobias?

Not really

60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind it

61:What was the last lie I told?

“I’m fine”

62:Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Texting

63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I’m open to the idea of ghosts, and to think Earth is the only planet that has life is irritatingly narcissistic

64:Do I believe in magic?

Yeah

65:Do I believe in luck?

Yeah

66:What’s the weather like right now?

Humid. I don’t like it

67:What was the last book I’ve read?

My textbook

68:Do I like the smell of gasoline?

I don’t mind it

69:Do I have any nicknames?

When your name is Van Galaxy you’re bound to have a lot of car and space related nicknames.

70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

I really can’t say, I don’t know

71:Do I spend money or save it?

I save it ‘till I choose to spend it

72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

Nah

73:Is there anything pink within 10 ft from me?

A physics formula sheet

74:Favourite animal?

Rabbits

75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Playing Cuphead

76:What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Uh.. I haven’t really given it much thought. I guess just to spit out a name... LaRue?

77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Under Pressure, Queen/David Bowie

78:How can you win my heart?

Rip it from my cold, dead body

79:What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

I’d prefer to be cremated instead of lying in a coffin; then people could say that I was thinking out of the box

80:What is my favorite word?

Snark

81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr

Uh, my friends’ blogs, duh

82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

“Go back to your lives, this is stressing me out”

83:Do I have any relatives in jail?

Nah

84:What superpower would I have?

Telepathy

85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

If I said then you’d want to know the answer

86:What is my current desktop picture?

It’s a chicken looking at an egg, contemplating which came first

87:Had sex?

Yeah

88:Bought condoms?

Yeah

89:Gotten pregnant?

Nah

90:Failed a class?

Nah

91:Kissed a boy?

Nah

92:Kissed a girl?

Yeah

93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

I don’t think so?

94:Had job?

“Had job”, that’s hilarious; and yeah

95:Left the house without my wallet?

Yeah

96:Bullied someone on the internet?

Geez probably inadvertently

97:Had sex in public?

God, no. People actually do that?

98:Played on a sports team?

Yeah

99:Smoked weed?

Nah

100:Did drugs?

Nah

101:Smoked cigarettes?

Nah

102:Drank alcohol?

Yeah

103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Nah

104:Been overweight?

Nah

105:Been underweight?

Probably

106:Been to a wedding?

Nah

107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

Yeah

108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

Probably

109:Been outside my home country?

Yeah

110:Gotten my heart broken?

Yeah

111:Been to a professional sports game?

Yeah

112:Broken a bone?

Nah

113:Cut myself?

Accidentally

114:Been to prom?

Yeah

115:Been in airplane?

Yeah

116:Fly by helicopter?

Nah

117:What concerts have I been to?

A lot of operas, some symphonic ones, one rock concert

118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

Yeah

119:Learned another language?

Then I forgot it

120:Wore make up?

Yeah

121:Lost my virginity before I was 18?

Yeah

122:Had oral sex?

Yeah

123:Dyed my hair?

My hair’s growing white, I don’t have to dye shit

124:Voted in a presidential election?

Yeah

125:Rode in an ambulance?

Nah

126:Had a surgery?

Yeah

127:Met someone famous?

Yeah

128:Stalked someone on a social network?

Probably?

129:Peed outside?

Yeah

130:Been fishing?

Nah

131:Helped with charity?

Yeah

132:Been rejected by a crush?

Yeah

133:Broken a mirror?

Nah

134:What do I want for birthday?

I don’t like the attention

135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

Andromeda seems like a cool name

136:Was I named after anyone?

Technically my dad

137:Do I like my handwriting?

It’s alright

138:What was my favourite toy as a child?

Legos; also what do you mean “was”

139:Favourite Tv Show?

Right now, probably the new Ducktales

140:Where do I want to live when older?

I don’t know man, I don’t think that far ahead

141:Play any musical instrument?

Yeah

142:One of my scars, how did I get it?

Got stabbed by an epee

143:Favourite pizza toping?

Pepperoni

144:Am I afraid of the dark?

Nah

145:Am I afraid of heights?

A little

146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Yeah

147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yeah

148:What I’m really bad at

Taking care of myself

149:What my greatest achievements are

Managed to learn an entire musical’s worth of music in 3 days, I’m pretty proud of that

150:What I’d do if I won the lottery

Pay off student loans and use the rest of the money to get a leg up in my career

Alright yeah, that was fun. Thanks.

[globalvoices]

In A Greek Refugee Camp: A Volunteer's Notebook

By Mai El-Mahdy

Licensed as Creative Commons Attribution 3.0.

Syrian refugees in Greece. By now there are thousands of blog posts, newspaper articles and eyewitness accounts that tell the stories of entire families drowning in the ocean, in desperate hope for a life free of warfare and poverty. I’m sure there are even more on those who eventually survived the ferocious waves, only to move into inhumane, “temporary” camps where they end up spending years. But for better or for worse, I’m not going to talk about the refugees, the lives they left behind in Syria or how they ended up in Greece. I want to talk about the current conditions and the role—or lack thereof—of those of us who try to help them, in bringing an end to this humanitarian crisis.

Recently I spent a couple of weeks at Greece’s Ritsona camp, a hub for five different humanitarian NGOs, alongside the UN operations. Ritsona is an old military base located outside Chalkida, the chief town on the island of Euboea, about an hour’s drive north of the centre of Athens. Its population is roughly two-thirds Syrian, with the remaining third made up of Kurds, Iraqis, and Afghans.

Sunken dignity

One of the harsh realities about life in the camps that is hard to fathom, let alone survive, is the absence of self-respect—dignity that has dropped so low it’s as if it was eaten up by the fierce waves before sinking to the bottom. It’s the dented sense of dignity that makes a person happy to move out of a tent into some makeshift caravan container box that becomes your “temporary” shelter for months and months. It’s the type of dignity that is all but lost when your entire livelihood is at the mercy of NGO workers who, through their authority and the decisions they make on people’s behalf, teach the refugees to accept the little they get, and be happy. Why do this, when these people are already broken? Do we volunteers always know what’s best for them? Would we allow others to make similar decisions on our behalf?

It’s not about freedom of choice; it’s not about allowing people the space to make their own decisions and mistakes. It’s about self-determination. Refugees take every single imaginable risk, relying on factors way beyond anyone’s control, only to arrive—miraculously—at a camp and submit to someone else’s decision-making, regardless of how good or bad those decisions are.

“Let’s teach English!” Everyone needs and wants to learn English, right? “Let’s buy toys for children,” overlooking the desires of parents, and the children themselves. Queuing up for food or clothes is part of the harsh reality of accepting that, due to circumstances beyond your control, you have become less valuable of a human being.

Refugees don’t want to queue for ages for food or clothes: they want to be treated as human beings, just like a black man in Apartheid South Africa, a Palestinian in the face of the Israeli occupation, or a woman anywhere in the world today. Part of the pain is acknowledging, while you stand in line, that few outside of your war zone would ever have to endure this or even entertain the thought. It is the frustration of being offered the non-choice of either being grateful that you’re in a queue with food at the end of it, or of being featured in a photo shared on social media that makes people feel sorry for you.

Perhaps we should look at the treatment of refugees as a right they have earned for themselves, not as charity that we choose to give to them. Perhaps we should focus our efforts on allowing them to fight for themselves. Perhaps it is simply about paving the way for their self-emancipation, regardless of where it leads them, and especially regardless of where it leaves us. We need to focus on educating them about their rights based on the country they are relocated, caring for their health, providing education for them and their children, etc.

Perhaps we should look at them the way we want them to look at us: with dignity and self-respect.

Are we really helping?

It’s funny how, as volunteers, we’re expected to arrive on the scene and push, along with everyone else, to get the wheels in motion. As though we’re not part of the story, but instead temporary outsiders brought in to perform a specific mission. But whether we like it or not, we are part of the narrative and influence it, significantly.

As individuals, we struggle with our egos. It’s one thing to recognize that—and in fact, very few volunteers are strong enough to do even that. Suppressing our egos, however, is a totally different story. It’s probably inevitable that volunteers find it easier to feed their egos than feed the needy. And the reward is so tempting that many forget to stop for a minute and ask themselves: are we really helping?

It’s no wonder so many volunteers pay special attention to children, who become quickly attached. But how does that help?

Volunteers can’t help but feel superior. In the camps they stand out like a sore thumb, and that’s not always unintentional. Volunteers often see themselves as providers of a valuable service, as making a great sacrifice of time and expertise. And they expect others to be gracious and remind them what great human beings they are for doing what they do.

But it’s not a service—it’s the refugees’ right. And this shouldn’t be debatable.

Once, at one of the stores where we shopped for the people of Ritsona camp with donated funds, I tried to bargain with the cashier to get more for my donated buck. The cashier, a fellow Egyptian making a living across the Mediterranean, agreed to “hook me up.” But instead of reducing the cost, she offered to write me an invoice for a higher sum. According to her, many volunteers and NGO workers accepted the fake invoices and pocketed the difference, so it was clear to her that I was new to this. And no, she did not budge on the price.

That’s only the tip of the iceberg. Some volunteers finance their travel out of the donations they receive. In spite of pleas for greater transparency, few NGOs actually publish the details of their finances. And even fewer donors ask for the details. If it’s change we’re after, this is probably a good place to start.

In my opinion, the best way to help refugees is by bypassing the NGOs altogether. It’s not difficult for us to connect directly with refugees. They’re human, just like us, just with different circumstances that suck. Treating them as patients with some disease or disability doesn’t help.

A friend of mine has a different take on this. He relates the story of a German doctor, an older gentleman, extremely professional and meticulous about his work. It’s his job to treat patients to the best of his ability given the facilities provided. From morning till night this doctor receives patients, diagnoses them, treats them. He doesn’t speak the language of the country where he works, and is very distant, almost cold. But he treats every single person he comes across, and he sets up and develops the medical facility and trains the workers so that the project can sustain itself after his departure. Many might not know him, care about him, or even remember him, though he is the one who directly helped and advanced the community. No credit. No showiness. No emotion. Just pure problem-solving.

I don’t necessarily disagree. NGOs impose strict rules on volunteers, one of which prohibits staying at the camp past 5pm. I hated this rule, so after a couple of weeks, I moved out of NGO housing and into the camp. I stayed with a refugee friend and her two daughters in their container. I would never argue that I was living their life, but I will say that I was observing it through a sharper lens.

While I agree that being distant and professional may be highly efficient and effective, I think that closeness also helps. Yes, we eventually leave; and sure, we may invest more time and effort in forming emotional bonds with the refugees than in providing tangible deliverables. And I won’t deny that I’ve learned more from the refugees about the Syrian cultural and political context than I’ve shared my own knowledge.

But by establishing close bonds we remind others—and ourselves—that they are human. And we become more human in the process.

Hospitals Don't Always Speak Your Language

The day to-day medical needs of Ritsona camp residents, of which there was an abundance, were left pretty much unattended. In emergencies, however, the Greek National Emergency Medical Services (EKAB, Ethniko Kentro Amesis Voitheias) would transport residents of the camp to and from the nearest hospital.

No one likes to go to the hospital, but when you’re a Syrian in a foreign country, it’s even worse than you imagine. Refugees are immersed in a sea of loneliness and fear of the unknown. You can see it in their eyes. And the harsh conditions of the journey to the camp leaves the majority of children, especially, with severe respiratory problems.

Many of the Greek doctors, however, didn’t even speak English nor did they have translators, and most patients could express themselves only in either Arabic or Kurdish. Often, residents would spend hours awaiting emergency care at the hospital, only to lose hope of ever understanding what they needed to do to get treatment, and leave.

At the camp my Arabic came in handy, as my job was to accompany the patients. Last May one of the NGOs at Ritsona pioneered a unique initiative dubbed “Hospital Runs”; that was the team I worked with. It’s a program organized in collaboration with the Red Cross that operates under the license of the Greek Army. They provide medical transportation, English, Greek and Arabic interpretation, and intercultural and medical assistance. The team also helps with bureaucratic procedures.

I was proud to be a member of that team. Each day we’d hop over to Chalkida or trek all the way to Athens, returning in the evening after having handled whatever problems, cases and complications had been thrown at us.

Sometimes the hospital staff made us feel unwelcome, scolding us about coming in with muddy shoes, indifferent to the fact that the camp is basically built on mud. I remember arriving at the hospital one day to find a young woman, clearly Arab and most probably from the camp, all alone, with nobody attending to her. She had clearly given up on trying to communicate or to save herself from whatever pain had piled on top of everything she had brought over to the continent. She gave me her details and the number of a loved one, so that I could communicate to them in the event she didn’t make it. Thankfully, and against the odds, she survived.

I guess I just can't fathom how borders and bodies of water can ultimately decide who's granted the opportunity to climb to the top, and who will be left to drown, and sink to the bottom.

Mai El-Mahdy is an Ireland-based Egyptian who works in tech. She was one of the millions who took part in the #Jan25 revolution, and she looks forward to being part of the next one.

[alicedoessurveys]

131 Questions

1. On Saturdays, I like to… Depends what mood I’m in or how I’m feeling. If I’m in a tired, ’cba with anything’ mood I can easily lounge in my jammies at home watching telly and playing sims. If I’m in a more energetic ‘need to get out the house’ mood ill persuade my mom to go shopping, or take the dogs out or something

2. Where would you like to be a missionary to? Idk what that means

3. What’s better — toilet paper rolled over top or underneath? Over

4. Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) Probably shaggy and scooby cause I’m scared of everything

5. If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? Idk, hurricane maybe? Id rather not be in any disaster tbh

6. What movie or TV show do you take guilty pleasure in watching? Not gonna lie, there are some shows on kids tv I actually enjoy watching

7. If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be? Ive had a mental block and I can’t think of any traffic signs

8. What traditional stereotype would you classify yourself as? I don’t think I really fit into one stereotype. im kind of a nerd but not 100% nerd

9. What “group” did you belong to in high school? My group was a mishmash of people. we were branded as the weird, geeky, unpopular group by most people

10. If you wrote a book about yourself…what would it be about? Probably about my experience with mental health and how it affected my school/college years

11. If your house were burning down, what would you take and why? obviously first thing id do would be check my family and pets were safe. Then id grab my laptop, the teddy I’ve had since I was born and try to get the two boxes from under my bed that I keep my memories in.

12. Describe your favorite pair of PJ’s. My favourites at the moment are my Christmas ones I bought myself this year. They’re red and white, with a kind of Christmas jumper pattern on them. Its hard to describe them but they’re super cosy

13. How many handbags do you own? Like two, I’m not big on handbags. I buy one and keep it until its dies then get a new one

14. If this were your last day alive, what would you say to your friends? Thank them for sticking with me and giving me some great memories

15. What is your very favorite part of your day? getting into bed at the end of the day

16. What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it. I don’t consider any of my scars ‘best’.. the one that has the most meaning is the one on my stomach. Its from when my appendix burst when I was two years old and my parents said It was 50/50 wether I survived or not

17. You win a million dollars, but you have to give half to a charity. Which charity do you pick, and what do you do with the rest of the money? probably Birmingham dogs home, or dogs trust

18. Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. IF I every do get married, I would like a winter/christmas wedding cause Christmas is my favourite time of year and winter weather is a bit more predictable. Id want to get married in a church, then go to a big castle hall for the reception. Honeymoon in lapland!

19. What kind of deodorant do you use? I think its either dove or sure..? I can’t remember. its a spray deodrant though, can’t deal with those horrid wet stick ones  

20. If you were a spy what would your alias be? is alias like, spy name? I don’t know, I can’t think of anything cool haha

21. Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Nope, don’t think so

22. You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to your guest list to keep the dinner talk interesting? Edie Redmayne because.. its eddie redmayne and he’s just adorable. kate mckinnon would be a freakin’ amazing dinner party guests I chose her and I can’t think who id chose for the third person.. maybe Walt Disney. NO WAIT, JOHNNY DEPP!! I choose Johnny Depp, I feel like he’d have a lot of great stories

23. What is your favorite sport, and which team of that sport do you cheer for? None

24. Which would you rather have a kiss or a hug? Why? Hug

25. If you could be a pair of jeans what style would you be?  Why? Skinny jeans, so I could be skinny :’)

26. You have multiple personalities, describe some of them. too many to go into

27. What is the best thing you have done in your life? Probably passing my driving test. OR, when I was 17 I got certified as a Zumba instructor. even though I ended up having to give up Zumba, thats probably the thing I’m the most proud of in my life so far. As someone who suffers anxiety/panic attacks it was a massive achievement to travel to blackpool, go dance at Winter Gardens ballroom ON MY OWN in a room full of strangers for 6 hours, and come out with a certificate.

28. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Everything. It would be awful. Id probably miss seeing my dogs faces the most

29. What household chore do you hate the most? Washing the dishes, or hanging my clothes up in the closet

30. What is your most disappointing moment in life? the whole college experience. dropping two of my a levels, failing the other two. Then dropping out of college course. And again, dropping out of another college course. Not a great 3 years for me.

31. When have you laughed the hardest? Cried? today. I realised my dog’s haircut made him look like Edna Mode from the incredibles.. easily amused. Last time I cried, Im not sure. The last time I remember crying was Christmas Eve

32. If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be? My cellophane from Chicago? Haha idk

33. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? General appearance. Probably what they’re wearing, their hair, their face. If I’m up close face to face with someone the first thing I notice are eyes and mouth

34. What time period from the past would you most have liked to live in and why? 80s, I like the music

35. What is the best reward anyone can give you? support

36. If you had a band what would you name it? Idk, I used to have a name I said I would use but I can’t remember now

37. Do you like fruit? Vegetables? Not really. The only fruit I like is apples and bananas. The only veg I like are peas

38. What can someone do to encourage you? tell me they believe in me and be genuine about it

39. If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why? What a bazaar question haha! Erm, the one from coco pops? The monkey

40. What was the best thing that happened to you this weekend? New Years day. i spent the day surrounded by family at my sisters house and we stayed they’re till almost 2am playing heads up and singing too loud

41. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Ffs, I don’t know what an adjective is :’) favourite animal: dogs. Loyal, cuddly, goofballs

42. What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Again with the adjectives, gah! Fave colour, purple. I don’t know why, I just like it leave me alone

43. It’s a very hot and muggy day. You desperately want something very cool and refreshing to quench your thirst and revitalize your body. What would you drink — either make your own or store-bought. Cold water obvs

44. You discover that the person you’re head-over-heels interested in loves a good homemade & handmade dessert. What will you concoct when you have this person over? Cookies, either salted caramel or Nutella filled

45. What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most? Idk, I don’t really have anything to leave :’)

46. What do you consider to the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? Child: probably something stupid like dolls. Teenager: idk, laptop? Now: again probably laptop since I bought a new one yesterday. I would say dog but I don’t own the dog

47. What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? Idk

48. If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? Actress, or dancer. Or animal trainer for movies/tv

49. What are your best/worst subjects in school and what subjects would you want to learn now? Best subjects: none. Worst subjects: all of them, but especially science.

50. What are you most talented at? Nothing :’)

51. What is your worst nightmare today? Still being the way I am now this time next year

52. How often do you clean between your toes? Idk, like almost every day I think

53. What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught? I don’t have a job so idk

54. If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Tina in Fantastic Beasts.. being part of that amazing film AND getting to spend all that time with Eddie Redmayne <3

55. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? I don’t want to be apart of a circus

56. If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? Having to go to the bathroom <- yup, that

57. You were just given a yacht. What would you name it? the mad hatter

58. If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? ‘Dont expect everything to get better in college. It only gets worse’

59. You’ve just been hired to a promotions position at Kellog Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? These questions are hard man

60. Just like “Everybody Wang Chung tonight!”, what action would your name be if it were a verb? wtf

61. Name your favorite song. At the moment, I’m loving Todrick Hall ‘no place like home’

62. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? I have a tattoo. I have 3 musical notes behind my ear. I want another tattoo, i want a lighthouse on the side of my foot under my ankle

63. If you could play any musical instrument, what would it be and why? If you already play an instrument(s), what do you play and why? ive just started playing the ukulele, my dad bought me one for Christmas

64. When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? I never went trick or treating

65. Why do you live in the Washington DC area? I dont :’)

66. What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? Just Christmas in general

67. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? I haven’t done anything outrageous.. the most ‘unlike me’ thing I did was stand up in front of my church and give a testimony. It was terrifying and I cried with relief when it was over haha

68. If a movie was being made of your life and you could choose the actor/actress to play you, who would you choose and why? Jennifer Lawrence

69. Paper or plastic? Paper I guess idk

70. What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? I don’t eat anything weird, I’m a very boring eater

71. What do you keep in the trunk of your car? I have a basket which I keep de-icer, ice scraper, washer liquid, a torch, gloves, hat, tennis balls and dog poop bags

72. When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? I wanted to be someone who looked after peoples cats when they went on holiday.. don’t ask why

73. If you owned a CB radio what would your “handle” be? I dont know what that means

74. If you were given 24 hrs to live, what would you do? I can’t even, questions like this stress me out

75. If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question) i dont know, probably bring the dog on stage and dance with him or something haha

76. What do you think the most ultimate gift of the world is? Uh.. idk. I feel like this survey is gonna be really boring cause most my answers are ‘idk’

77. What is your earliest childhood memory? Earliest memory is mom dropping me off at preschool and my crying my eyes out being carried off by the teacher

78. What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up? I had many. I had a lot of veggitales videos

79. If you had one extra hour of free time a day, how would you use it? Either sleep, or just more time sitting on the sofa wasting my life

79. What CD is in your CD player right now? Rend Collective, Campfire II

80. The great theologian Andy Warhol stated that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.  What happened during your 15 minutes? Still waiting for mine

81. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. I met the wanted, Andy Jordan and literally bumped into laurence llewelyn-bowen in hobby craft last year

82. Name your favorite children’s story. Anything by road Dahl, the whole chronicles of Narnia or the grufflo

83. If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? hmm.. I haven’t mentioned eddie redmayne enough in this survey so ill say him :’) or Kate McKinnon.. love her

84. What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? Esther was my favourite growing up, and now I’m older I identify with her a lot

85. What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? A hoodie because you can pull the hood over your head and hide away just like I’ve been doing for a long time <-this

86. If you were to write a book what would it be about? Im sure I answered this question earlier..?

87. How many rings before you answer the phone? I don’t really do that. I see who’s ringing and I either answer it or I don’t

88. What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning? Lie there contemplating wether to wake up or go back to sleep

89. If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? Pay off they money I owe. Pay off parents debts, and sisters debts. Give them money. Buy a house in Bournemouth. Set up a doggy day care business.

90. If you had to, what part of your body would you get pierced? No thanks

91. Who was your favorite teacher and why? My English/drama teacher in the first year of senior school. She found out I was having difficulties and became like a mentor to be. She helped me out a lot.  

92. What makes you feel the most secure? My family

93. Who do you admire the most? Mom

94. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it? I’ve had dreams about my teeth falling out a few times. Recently I keep having dreams about being in bed with spiders and snakes crawling on me and wake up hitting my duvet and generally freakin the f out

95. What was your nickname growing up? Bong

96. Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? My dad. I would try to play his guitars and would tag along with him when he went to his evening jobs

97. Peanut or plain? Peanut or plain what..?

98. What is your favorite cartoon character & why? I don’t actually know

99. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? all I remember is my dad took me to the park and held on to the bike while I cycled, then let me go and I rode into a tree

100. Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? The ability to jump to the worst conclusion in the quickest time

101. What’s the closest you’ve come to becoming a pop star/winning an Oscar? No where near

102. When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? I honestly can’t think of anything

103. What is your concept of a fruitful day? I dont know what that means..

104. What was your favorite thing to play with as a child? Why? I was quite an active child, I spent a lot of time climbing trees and running around outdoors. When I wasn’t doing that, my favourite toys were bratz dolls

105. If you could be any animal in the world for 24 hours, which animal would you be? Why? a bird, I would love to experience flying

106. Have you ever jumped out of a plane? Nope, im not adventurous enough for that

107. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Hate/war/terror

108. What is your best personal characteristic? Ughhhh I hate questions like this, I’m not good at saying nice stuff about myself

109. What is your favorite quote? “And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those you don’t believe in magic will never find it.” - Roald Dahl

110. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Sneak onto a film set and see what its like

111. What is your favorite weird food combination? Im not into any weird food combinations. Like I said earlier, I’m not adventurous enough

112. If you had to be a flower, which one would you like to be and why? Maybe a rose, cause they’re pretty but they have thorns so they fight back again people who try to pick them :’)

113. If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books and three people would you take with you? 3 books: Fantastic beasts and where to find them, Harry Potter and the cursed child (cause its the one I’m reading atm) and a bible. 3 people: my mom, my dad and my sis
 114. My biggest pet peeve is… People in general

115. What is your favorite commercial? What commercial annoys you the most? I don’t really have a favourite. they all tend to annoy me after a while. OH WAIT! One advert I will never get fed up of is the Coca Cola Christmas one, ‘Holidays are Coming’

116. What’s the most interesting “Ice Breaker” Question you have ever been asked? I avoid situations that require ice breaker questions.

117. If you could be an ice cream flavor, what would it be? Why? Salted caramel, cause its my fave idk

118. Name a turning point in your life that makes you smile/cry. Makes me cry: probably the year I dropped out of college for the third time, got dianosed with depression then got ill with thyroid shit Makes me smile: maybe, going back to church this year because its changed my life for the better and set our family on an exciting journey thats just beginning :)  

119. If there were a holiday in your honor what would it celebrate? everyone who isn’t perfect, who is awkward, and fails at stuff a lot

120. What clubs were you a member of in High School? Are you still interested in any of the same things? I joined a drama club for like a week before it got shut down because there wasn’t enough members

121. If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why? Probably big brother, I have no talents so I couldn’t go on anything else :’)

122. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why? Someone with talent. preferably someone who could sing, dance and act and was in musicals  

123. If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it? ‘Make the effort to make someone smile today’

124. If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? The ability to get animals to like me

125. If you were a Smurf, what would your name be? Awkward smurf, talentless smurf, failure smurf

126. What is your worst personality characteristic? Please refer to previous answer

127. If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? well I completed a night course in canine behaviour so I guess I could teach how to care for and train dogs

128. How would you like to be remembered? Someone who made people smile

129. What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? Whether I’m doing the right thing or not. what I should be doing with my life.

130. What do you like best about your hometown? I don’t know, I guess the fact that its got a nice reputation

131. Something interesting you might not know about me is… Im not very interesting..

[asrarblog]

Dear Colleagues!  This is Pharma Veterans Blog Post #321. Pharma Veterans welcomes sharing of knowledge and wisdom by Veterans for the benefit of Community at large. Pharma Veterans Blog is published by Asrar Qureshi on WordPress, the top blog site. Please email to asrar@asrarqureshi.com for publishing your contributions here.

Ramadan Kareem

The holy Ramadan of 1441AH has just started. I pray that Allah Protects all of us from the current threat of COVID19, and Allah Gives us ‘taufeeq’ to fast in its true spirit, clean our souls from the dust of sins and wrongdoings, and make amends to become better persons. Aameen.

I shall not talk about the religious aspects of Ramadan; I am not qualified to do so. I would rather talk about the social aspects and would like to take you down memory lane to the old times.

Ramadan has been a special part of our social landscape for hundreds of years, I guess. It has always been a special time. Being a whole month, it started on a high, anticipatory note of spiritualism which kept rising till the end and culminated in the festivity of Eid ul Fitr.

In my earliest memories, which would be very early 1960s, Ramadan was Ramzan, as everyone called it then. Qira’at and Qari’s were not everywhere. Even the Imams of mosques recited Qura’an in ‘majhool’ way of recitation. Anyway, Ramzan used to come in winter in those days. And the winter was spread over 5 months and was really cold throughout.

In the early hours of cold nights, an hour and half or so before Sehri, a guy would walk by in the street. He would carry an empty tin which he would bang with a stick to make noise. He would also shout “Bhola Aa Gaya, Bhola Aa Gaya, Sutyan Nu Jaga Gaya’. It was public service to wake up people because not everyone had an alarm clock. After 10-15 minutes, a group of 5-6 young people would do the round. They would be reciting verses loudly and made sure people woke up. These two public alarm clocks were a permanent fixture in Ramzan. They would come no matter how harsh the weather might be. This service was free of charge. On the Eid Day, Bhola and the young group took a round of each house and sought to get something as reward. They would neither insist nor argue and would keep whatever they got.

The elders got up to prepare Sehri; we, the children, listened but kept us curled in the warm bed. We lingered on till we were told it now or never. We got up, had Sehri and would run back to warm beds. Permanent fixture of Sehri was Paratha; other things would keep changing. Our mother, may she rest in peace, would make Parathas and we would sit beside her and eat.

First fast by a child was a special occasion. It was celebrated by the whole family. The child would be treated as royal throughout the day and treated with a feast at Iftari. There may be some cash reward or gifts also, as the conditions allowed.

Iftari was an everyday celebration. In most homes, elaborate arrangements were done for Iftari, the best that they could do. Other than fruit, everything was home made. E-coli filled Samosas from bazaars came much later. The Iftar started with Khajoor (date) and some water which was followed by pakoras, chaat and some other things. Supper was some time after Maghrib prayer. We were more interested in Iftari rather than supper, as you would understand.

Taraweeh was a fixture of Ramzan nights. Men and children went to mosque for Isha prayer and taraweeh, while women prayed at home. Taraweeh was considered no less than a ‘farz’. In fact, we were told that the ‘rozas’ remained suspended between earth and sky if these were not supplemented with taraweeh. The roads were more or less empty during taraweeh time; only people with some urgent work were out of mosque.

Eid shopping was the topping during the last 10 days or so of Ramzan. Women led the effort and men towed behind. Children enjoyed.

Time passed and we grew as adults, became parents and the cycle was repeated. As happened with everything, simplicity was abandoned for complexity in the name of greater spirituality or whatever. Homemade delicacies were abandoned for huge Iftaris outside or Outside specialties at home. Paratha at Sehri was changed with Pizza and so on. As a rule, I never lament upon what was and is no more; it is just stating the facts.

Three things stand out vis-à-vis social aspect when I look back over the last sixty years. And this is so in spite of all the changes that have been there.

Extra Expenses – everyone spent beyond usual. The expense was done on extra foods every day at Sehri and Iftari. Iftari was almost always shared with some neighbors. Charity was at its peak. People were generally not rich, but they happily did charity and sharing during Ramzan. Eid shopping was also a sizeable expense, but it was done. Gifts for brothers and sisters and parents were also thrown in. and finally, the Eidi money that we received as children and paid forward as adults. How could they afford such extravagance during Ramzan? Knowing that they had limited means, why did they still do it? My parents said Allah gave special Barkat during Ramzan. That it was a special time for sharing and praying and charity; we should keep faith and should do it in the name of Allah. It must have been so. The opulence and affluence of Ramzan were not seen at any other time during the year.

Enhanced Spirituality – we felt pious and we felt motivated to do good. We tried consciously to avoid bad things. While fasting, we felt hungry in winter and thirsty in summer, but we felt good. There was a comfort all around despite physical hardship. There was an overall feeling of peace, inside and outside. If for any reason, a fast could not be kept, it caused great discomfort and anguish. Taraweeh sometimes felt tiring after a long day but it still felt nice. Yesterday, a friend shared a clip edited to include Dr. Israr Ahmed, Engr. Anwar, Maulana Ishaq, and Javed Ghamidi. They were all proving that Taraweeh is no prayer at all. They are all great scholars and must be right. Taraweeh may not be mandatory by religion, but it is a great exercise for enhancing spirituality. Corona issue notwithstanding, the image of Ramzan without taraweeh is not very motivating. Yes, we may suspend it in this time due to serious health threat, but it has to remain part of Ramzan landscape.

Spirit to Give – Man is not giving by nature. He is possessive in nature and desires to accumulate. Allah says “Say [to them], “If you possessed the depositories of the mercy of my Lord, then you would withhold out of fear of spending.” And ever has man been stingy.”[17:100].

Ramzan is an unusual time when even the stingy and miser get the courage to spend. Zakat has somehow been associated with Ramzan, partly thanks to Ziaul Haq. Lot of people pay zakat in this time. Everyone tries to give during this month. It may be due to expectation of greater reward or just feeling more generous but giving is at its highest during Ramzan. It is a great thing and a special gift of Ramzan.

So, Ramadan is here again with all its beauty and generosity and spirit. Let us keep safe but get the most benefit out of it.

Going into greatest details of religion may actually become a disservice by causing discord and disorientation. Let the worships and prayers remain simple and focused.

Concluded.

Ramadan – the Social Aspect – Blog Post #321 by Asrar Qureshi Dear Colleagues!  This is Pharma Veterans Blog Post #321. Pharma Veterans welcomes sharing of knowledge and wisdom by Veterans for the benefit of Community at large…

[crimsonblackrose]

I love comic conventions. Growing up I had older friends and family members who went to conventions but tickets were expensive and so was the hotels and they weren’t easy to get to. So I couldn’t go till college when I lived in Chicago. And there, I went to all the conventions. I went to ACEN every year with friends, I volunteered for C2E2 to work a booth for a comic book company (and reviewed it for a now vanished into the ether board game company), went to the IGC show at navy pier on behalf of my aunt who wanted to know what cool stuff they were having but was too busy to actually go look at the garden show, I volunteered for the Chicago Toy and Game fair, and spent a year working AWP. (It’s a writers conference and most of the time I was working it was to direct drunken writers and professionals to the nearest bars.)

This is all to say I love conventions. And I haven’t been to one in over 4 years. I don’t know what kind of conventions are housed in Seoul or even Korea beyond Seoul Comic Con, which I never realize is coming until I just happen to be at Coex and exhausted and see a cosplayer walking by and wonder what’s going on? But this year I was determined to go, I even talked a friend into going with me.

  A lot of the conventions I’ve been to are huge. You can walk and look and look and look at vendors and that’s an entire day right there, even without visiting the panels or the signings. If you’re looking for anything specific that adds to the amount of time that disappears hunting for things through bins or looking at displays. Add to this exponentially if you’re at a nerdy con and a friend dresses up. (Aka every time I went to ACEN ever)

I’m not sure what I was expecting Seoul Con to be. I had recently sprained or inflamed a tendon in my foot so the goal was to be slow and chill. We got there before they opened, filled out some forms at one registration booth and then joined the line for tickets. Because we had gotten our tickets that day we just had wrist bands. We’d also arrived right around opening time so we headed upstairs to the entrance to find a large line and then headed to the back of it. I was concerned that this long line meant the convention was crowded, but what it actually meant was that the convention had finally opened and these were all the early birds who’d gotten there before us, because once the line started moving we were in there pretty quickly.

Usually when I go to a convention my favorite this is to look around at shops and see what they have for sale, or what sort of free things they’re handing out, and to spend a ton of time looking around artist’s alley. Usually I run into a couple of friends who I for some reason always miss out that they have a booth. At Seoul Comic Con I ended up first at a stationary shop and then found behind it was the artist alley, which was quite small. I didn’t see anything that I felt like I really needed so I just kept wandering. Artist alley later bumped into more official shops like the Star Wars shop and the Marvel booth, both which had statues and things to take pictures of/ with. Star Wars had a couple storm troopers you could take a picture with and they were taking donations for Make a Wish. Then we found a bookstore with English options and a ton of notebooks and I regret, for my wallet, that I purchased a Hufflepuff notebook and the Hannibal cookbook. (The latter is more of a regret for when I eventually move and have to lug that across the ocean with me). I’m actually very happy with both purchases and I get really excited whenever I find books in English. I’m impressed/proud of myself for not buying more. We also found where the signings/pictures were hosted and we looked at the pricing which was more/ if not the same price as to get in and decided maybe it wasn’t worth it.

Then we ended up in the food section which was a couple little kiosks including a Monster kiosk giving out free samples. (aka full size Monster energy drinks) I gave mine to my friend.

Then while she ran off I watched a little bit of the panel that was happening with Pom Klementieff, who plays Mantis in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I thought it was kind of nice that it was out in the open so that even if you didn’t grab a seat or were early enough you could still listen and watch from other spots in the room. But it also kind of showed me how small the convention was. Essentially panels were being hosted in the food court.

After that we did one more quick loop, watched some people playing dance dance revolution and then that was it, we’d seen the whole con and it wasn’t even lunch time yet. I’d expected it to take the whole day. But it hadn’t, but it was probably better for my wallet. So after making sure we had everything we wanted and there wasn’t anything we wanted to go back for we left and headed out to lunch.

I know not every convention is as big as C2E2 or ACEN. I’ve even hosted a small for charity convention before that people could finish (If they wanted to skip panels and showings) in about a half hour or less. I’ve even attended a convention that was only like 3 rooms. But this was Seoul Comic Con. Essentially a big city convention in a country that makes it’s on cartoons and animation and comics and that was it. I don’t know if it’s because I went on Sunday but I was a bit disappointed.  Though the cosplayers were great.

Seoul Comic Con tends to happen annually at Coex mall during the first weekend in August.

Seoul Comic Con I love comic conventions. Growing up I had older friends and family members who went to conventions but tickets were expensive and so was the hotels and they weren't easy to get to.