#i swear i was just watching some random video where this movie was mentioned briefly

[svetochey]

kimi no na wa au. it came to me suddenly and taken my mind completely. what year is it again

upd: Luz putting an insult on Amity's face felt very ooc, so i changed it to something nicer. i hope. as much as you can be nice while writing on someone's face against their will

[maliciouslycreative]

A totally fake-sounding story of how stupid I am at flirting, fake dating, and kpop

My life is for the most part a series of weird coincidences that once strung together sound entirely fake but I swear to god they are real.

Back in the early 2000s I found a lot of fame in the Beyblade fandom. I wrote a popular fic, it was pretty rad. One of my oldest and dearest friends from YGO once asked if she could introduce me to one of her friends who was apparently a HUGE fan of my writing. And I was like “absolutely” and that was the start of things with me and J. We got exceptionally close. Honestly I know I’m aro but the love I felt for her might be the closest I’ll ever feel to being in love.

Things were complicated though, we lived in different countries and were both in high school. We were super close friends and flirted a lot, everyone noticed. Our friend wrote poetry about us. Yes I still have some of that poetry saved somewhere. Everyone in the fandom shipped us and honestly we did talk about how if we weren’t in different countries and in high school that we would be together.

In my senior year of high school I had this biology teacher that enjoyed making us do a lot of group projects. There was another girl in my class that we weren’t really friends but neither of us had friends in the class and we didn’t mind each other so we always grouped up. Unfortunately we needed to do groups of 3 or more for this one project so this random guy in the class ENTHUSIASTICALLY volunteered to be in our group. Neither of us knew who he was but whatever we could survive some weird guy for one project. We exchanged emails so we could exchange notes easily. Except when I got home I noticed the guy had added me to MSN messenger. Ok sure, he probably just wanted to discuss something about the project. Except he didn’t. He wanted to talk to me about anime. Which… I guess? I mean there were not a lot of anime fans when I went to high school, it was distinctly not cool in 2005. 

I spent the next few weeks being mostly weirded out by this guy but he seemed harmless so I kind of talked to him intermittently. And then came the day before Valentines Day. He asked me what my plans were to which I responded that I was spending it with a good friend whose birthday was February 14th. He then proceeded to ask me what kind of flowers I liked and I was like “uhh I’m allergic to flowers so I guess fake ones?” And then I mentioned this to my one friend and she was like “OH MY GOD, STACEY. HE IS TRYING TO ASK YOU OUT.” And I was like “what? No, that’s………… fuck” so I had to in a panic tell the guy to not get me flowers and that I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. 

He seemed ok with this. But like any mediocre white man it didn’t stick. He proceeded to talk to me a lot about his favourite anime and how it’d make him cry. His favourite anime was Ayashi no Ceres. For those of you not familiar with it, it’s a series written by Yuu Watase that tells the tragic story of a selkie that was bound to a human man and they died tragically so they were cursed to forever reincarnate as fraternal twins in this one family’s bloodline. So yah, he’d cry to me over an anime about incest. Like yah it’s a great series but you’re not gonna woo someone by telling them how much it makes you cry.

I’m not sure who came up with the plan, my fandom “older sister” or J herself but eventually we decided the only way to get rid of him was if I had a girlfriend and J enthusiastically agreed to be her. So when he finally did outright ask me out I got to be like “sorry man, I have a girlfriend in the US.” He absolutely lost it. Was very upset and thought she was fake. I had to bring J into a chat and be like “yes, this is my loving girlfriend.” He told me how disappointed in me he was and how he didn’t think I was “that kind of girl” whatever that means. 

He didn’t speak to me for an entire year after that. I ran into him randomly at university and he asked me “did you really have a girlfriend or were you just saying that to let me down.” And I was like “excuse you? Yes, I had a girlfriend and we are still together now. What gives you the right to ask something like that?” And he got upset about it again and I’ve never seen him since. 

J and I were sort of together for a couple years. Nothing serious, just some casual flirting. I sent her a care package once full of chocolate. We both knew neither of us were ready to move across the continent for the other but we still loved each other deeply. When I started dating my abusive ex we were still friends. I got to meet up with her one of the times I visited the US. Like most of my fandom friends I lost contact with her in 2009 after my fandom big sister passed away. It hurt a lot to be in that space without her. My abusive ex also did a good job of isolating me from everything. I did briefly reconnect with her for a bit afterwards but it’s been a while since I’ve talked to her. 

To detour back to the fake dating, there’s another parallel story. So when I told one of my other friends about this, A, she was like “oh, well if you need another fake girlfriend I would be willing and I mean we only live like 5 and ½ hours apart.” And my stupid ass was like “oh of course! I’ll keep you in mind.” This girl who had the patience of a saint with my stupid ass. She started calling me “muffin” one night and I was like “why are you calling me muffin?” and she was like “because it’s cute” and I was like “ok but I feel like I need to give you a food nickname now…” but my brain short circuited. I couldn’t think of anything cute in turn and made a terrible comment about calling her porkchop. And this girl, bless her heart, told me I could call her porkchop. So for several years we went around calling each other Muffin and Porkchop. It took me almost a decade to figure out that she was FLIRTING with me. I have no contact with her any more so I can’t even apologise. 

So here comes to the kpop and how I stumbled into it. I had my sisters over for a movie night in 2018. While waiting for our food to cook somehow we wound up watching K/DA POP/STARS among some other stuff. But this planted the seed in my sister's mind and she descended into kpop hell. I’m sorry not sorry. She mostly got into girl groups and we let her gush to us about them. But then she found it, Lucifer by SHINee. This song is an absolute bop and the clothing was absolutely tragic. We were in love with it. Something always haunted me that I knew this song though but something was just not 100% right so I couldn’t figure it out. 

Lockdowns happened and we couldn’t do our regular family get togethers. However where we live if you were a family of 4 or less you can adopt into your bubble a single person that lives alone, just so that people that live alone aren’t so isolated. So once a week I’d go over to her place and we’d do supper together. Neither of us like do anything other than go to work and grocery shopping and the occasional shopping for other essentials. Anyway when I’d be at her place we’d often listen to her kpop playlist. It was a little more bubblegum than what was really my taste but I was starting to get a taste. 

Then my shit brain did what it always does and comes up with a cursed fic idea that involved everyone listening to kpop. I dove head first into kpop. I have learned so much in the last two weeks. It started with SHINee and branched out. One of those things that I discovered with SHINee though was that they recorded a lot of their songs also in Japanese. And then I found the Japanese music video to Lucifer and it was like someone plunged a knife deep into my heart and twisted. 

J was into SHINee. She tried to get me into them in 2011, right around the time we fell out of contact. We were both really big into jpop and jrock back then and she was right, I LOVE that song. So somehow I narrowly avoided becoming a shawol in 2011. I don’t know how I didn’t honestly. Probably has to do with my abusive ex. A lot of stuff from that time period is honestly a blur and I really don’t care to remember it.  

So that’s the story of how I, an aro, am a disaster when it comes to people flirting with me and how I almost became a kpop stan in 2011.

[artificialqueens]

Don't Stand So Close to Me Chapter 5 (Biadore)- Splatt

Hi people! Been a while, huh? I got distracted by other fics…. Well, here you go! I hope you like it. I’ll have another update tomorrow and the next day to make up for the three months without an update. Love you all! Let me know what you think.

Roy turned on the doc cam and switched the input on his computer. “Okay, I’m going to walk you through an example.” He brought his left hand up into the camera to adjust the paper.

The class started murmuring loudly to each other.

“What? What did I do?” Roy asked, raising a brow.

The talking died down slightly, and one girl in the third row spoke up. “Is that your soul mark?”

Roy glanced backwards at the big screen behind him and turned his wrist out. “Yes. We all have them. Can we get back on topic?”

“Is that lipstick on it?” One of the boys in the back of the room shouted.

Roy flushed and snatched his hand out of view, rubbing at the bright pink that he hoped no one would notice matched the color on Danny’s lips today. “What is this, twenty questions?”

Danny covered his mouth with his hand and muttered a curse.

“Have you met your soulmate? I thought you were gay?” The first girl asked again.

Roy sighed. “Gay people have soulmates too, and men can wear lipstick, you know. We’ve been through the whole drag queen thing. Let’s get back on track, people. You have a test in a few days, and it’s not my fault if you distract yourselves and fail.”

Everyone turned to Danny, who sat avoiding eye contact with everyone and covering his face.

“What’s his name?” another person asked.

“Look, we’re in the middle of a lecture, and if we don’t get to a section you’re still responsible for it on the exam.” Roy went back to writing out a reaction.

“Hey Danny, what’s that lipstick color you’re wearing?” Someone yelled across the room.

Danny froze and shot a panicked look at his professor, who kept his face schooled into a bored expression. Danny reluctantly moved his hands away from his mouth. “It’s called… uhm… candy yum yum.”

A few gasps and chuckles were heard around the room ad people caught on.

“Can we please stop talking about makeup and get back to the lecture?” Roy groaned.

Everyone ignored him. “Danny, what’s your mark?”

He pulled the sleeve of his jacket down farther to make sure it was completely covered and avoided the question.

“So you two are soulmates?”

Roy sighed. “I am so going to get fired.” He sighed.

“Fuck!” Danny exclaimed. “Can’t you all just shut the fuck up and stop asking questions?” He glared at the people around him. “I think I liked it better when no one talked to me.”

“You’re not making things any better.” Roy rolled his eyes at his lover before addressing the class again. “Okay, none of you are going to let me get back to the lecture, and this will probably be my last class before they fire me, so go ahead. Our subject for the rest of the class is soul bonds.”

Everyone excitedly talked for a few seconds before someone in the back yelled out “How long have you two known you’re soulmates?”

Roy sent a sympathetic look at Danny before answering. “Not long. A month, maybe.”

“Can we see both of your marks?”

“You’ve already seen mine. His is exactly the same. That’s how soul marks work.” He said dryly.

In his seat, Danny shrugged off his jacket and took his bracelets off of his left wrist to show the people around him.

“What does it feel like?”

Roy chuckled. “I think it’s different for both of us. I don’t think the bond manifests the same way in each person. From what he’s told me, the basics of what we both feel is that when we’re in a room together, it feels like a physical pull. Like we just always need to be closer. Right? Is that pretty accurate?” He asked.

Danny nodded in agreement. “It gets kind of painful sometimes, like, we’re not even ten feet away from each other right now, and I can feel the pulling towards him, and it hurts to not be next to him. The only time it really goes away is when we’re touching, and then it feels like it explodes and everything is right.”

“Where it differs is that he says that anytime there’s some sort of skin-on-skin contact, there’s a tingling sensation wherever we’re touching. For me, it’s more of an inner feeling of being whole or peaceful, and I didn’t realize before we met that I felt somehow incomplete, but now I can feel it whenever he’s not there. He says it gets worse when I say his name.”

Danny grinned. “Aww, look at you getting all sappy! That’s so cute.”

Roy waved him off. “It’s for science, Daniel. You have to be thorough when reporting your findings.”

“So you can feel that right now? The pulling?”

Roy nodded. “Constantly.” He glanced over at Danny again to see that the younger man had a yearning look on his face as if just talking about the two of them touching was physically too much for him. “Don’t you give me that look! You look like a fucking kicked puppy. I can’t deal with that right now.” Roy chastised his lover.

The girls around Danny all “aww”ed when his face fell and his eyes got even more sad. Roy tried to look away, but couldn’t snap out of it until someone else asked a question.

“Is the first kiss really as powerful as everyone says?”

Roy smiled sincerely at the way Danny perked up at the mention of kissing.

“It’s so much more.” Roy nodded.

“And it’s not just the first. It always feels like that.” Danny put in. “It’s just so different the first time that it kind of feels like… right. It feels right.”

“Not so much fireworks as feeling whole, and like someone found a way to heat up your blood in your veins and start your nerves firing double time. It’s really fascinating.”

The class “aww”ed at the tender words.

Danny smirked. “Plus, the sex is great.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shut the fuck up, queen!” Roy rolled his eyes. “Do you just not have a filter at all?”

“No.” Danny shook his head. “No I do not.”

Roy sighed. “Okay, ignore him. Do you have anymore questions?”

“How did you figure it out? That you’re soulmates?”

Roy frowned. “That’s… Danny?” He looked to the boy for permission.

He hung his head embarrassedly and traced his mark with one finger.

“That’s personal.” He walked over to Danny and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Hey,” he whispered. “We’ve talked about this. It’s okay.”

“Tingly.” Danny leaned his head onto the man’s hand and smiled. “I just wanted you to come over here.”

Roy laughed. “You’re such a fucking bitch. I thought you were actually upset! I swear I’ll come into your dorm at night and cut up all your fucking wigs.”

Danny gasped and grasped at his blue wig. “This shit was expensive. I know where your drag is, too, you know.”

“Can we see a picture of you in drag, Professor Haylock?” The girl behind Danny asked.

“You know what, fuck it. Sure. If I don’t get fired for fraternising with students, I’ll even come to class in full drag.” He walked back over to the desk and pulled out his phone. He found a picture of Bianca and put it under the doc cam for the class to see.

In the picture, Bianca, Adore, and Courtney all stood together on stage laughing. It was after Adore’s first show, and her lipstick was all over her face from making out with random guys in the crowd. Bianca looked as pristine as always, towering over the barefoot queen with one arm around her waist and the other around Courtney’s shoulders.

Danny laughed. “That was a great night. I had really missed performing on stage. Do you have the video? You should show them that.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “No one is going to want to see that.”

“See what?” someone asked.

Roy motioned for Danny to explain.

“Us performing. Well, she emcee’d, so she introduced me and I performed.” Danny grinned.

There were a few murmurs before people started asking to see the video and what a drag show is like.

“See? They want to see it.” Danny winked. “Plug it into the computer and pull it up on the big screen like that. That way the sound comes over the speakers, too.”

“Daniel, I have no clue how to do that.” Roy groaned.

Danny got up and straightened his skirt before strutting up to the podium and set up the video on the computer. He pressed play and turned to watch.

Bianca walked out on stage and pretended to kick Courtney away. “Alright! That was Courtney Act! She’ll be in the alley out back if you wanna give her a different kind of tip. She’s almost as much of a whore as this next bitch. We’ve got a new girl here tonight. I’ve never seen her perform in drag, but she gives a good show in the bedroom. Everyone give it up for my soulmate, Adore Delano from Azusa, California!”

Adore came bouncing out and pulled Bianca in close to her. “Hey baby.”

Bianca wrapped her arms around the girl and kissed her briefly before handing her the mic and going offstage.

Adore grinned at the audience. And the music started.

“Wednesday’s panties on a Friday night. Drive in movie and I’m getting mine.” She sang, dancing around the stage and feeling herself up.

“Down down down duh-duh, I’m DTF Down down duh-duh, I’m down.”

She pulled a twink from the audience onstage and started grinding on him before spinning around and kissing him hard. The rest of the song, she danced with the boy, letting him feel her up and making out with him until the music stopped.

“Thank you so much!” She smiled, her lipstick all over her face. “Now get your ass off my stage.”

The video ended with Bianca coming back out onstage.

No one knew what to say for a few seconds, before Roy fake coughed into his hand, saying “Slut”.

Danny laughed. “I’m a slut and you’re a hateful clown.”

“Danny can sing?” Someone called out.

“Bitch, what, do you think I just lipsync at the clubs like the other girls? I write my own music.” Danny scoffed. “I’m a fucking vocals major!”

Roy looked up and had to crane his neck to look his lover in the face. “I have a question. Why is it that you’re willing to walk around campus all day in 8 inch platform heels, but you perform barefoot?”

“You just don’t like that I’m more than a foot taller than you right now.” Danny patted the professor’s head and leaned down.

“Sit down. We got really off topic. Who has soulmate questions?” Roy motioned for him to go back to his desk, but he plopped down in the teacher’s chair instead.

“Is sex different when it’s your soulmate?” One of the guys in the back asked hesitantly.

Danny leered at his lover, looking him up and down hungrily. He pulled Roy in by the waist and rested his head back on the older man’s stomach.

“What are you doing?” Roy asked.

“Feeling tingly. Answer the question.” Danny closed his eyes and smiled serenely.

Roy lovingly rolled his eyes and put his hands on Danny’s shoulders. “The short answer is yes. It’s different.”

“Did you feel a connection straight away when you met, or did it get stronger or something? Did it feel different once you actually realized you’re soulmates?”

Roy thought for a second. “I really don’t know. When we first met, my eye was drawn to him straight away, but I don’t know if that’s just because I’ve never had another drag queen in one of my classes, let alone one who dresses in full geish every day. Once we… He called a random number in his phone one night when he was having a really hard time with not having friends and dealing with everyone’s reactions to him crossdressing, and it happened to be me. I think that he was subconsciously drawn to my number because he knew somehow what we share the bond. That’s probably why I talked him down and drove out to pick him up instead of calling the police to go get him, and that’s how we figured it out.” He held tighter to Danny’s shoulders when the boy winced at his words.

“Once we actually saw each other’s mark, it was like, ‘oh my god, that’s what this feeling is.” Danny agreed. “Even if he wasn’t my soulmate, he saved my life, and that’s not worth nothing.”

“I guess once we figured it out and could put a name to the feeling, it seemed like it got stronger just because we could recognize it.” Roy shrugged.

Danny reached up to take one of Roy’s hands in his own.

“Is that why Danny came into your office when I was there?” Jason asked.

Roy laughed loudly. “Yes, that’s why Danny came into my office. That was actually only two days after we figured it out. That’s one of the reasons I was so fucking pissed at you and those other two assholes. Nobody can insult Danny except me.”

Danny nodded. “And Shane.”

“Shane doesn’t realize when he’s being rude. He says it’s an Aussie thing, but I’m pretty sure it’s called ‘Being a Douche’.” Roy clarified. “For anyone who has not been to my office hours, Shane is my graduate assistant. He’s the blonde in the video.”

“Courtney Act.” Danny said with an australian accent.

“What does Danny look like out of drag?” One of the girls near the front asked.

Danny cocked a brow and pulled his wig off, shaking out his hair. He found a picture on Roy’s phone of him out of drag and put it up on the screen. “I look like a boy, yay!” He cheered sarcastically.

“He’s cute as a boy.” One of the girls in the front whispered to her friend, and Danny winked at the pair.

Roy held up the wig. “Am I putting this back on you, or are you done with it for the day? Why did you even take it off if you were just going to show them a picture?”

Danny shrugged. “I’m good. I’m a beautiful mermaid from the ocean with or without it.”

“Party.” The older man mocked.

“So it’s probably completely useless to ask this, but how about we not tell everyone about this so that Professor Haylock can keep his job here?” Danny addressed the class. “I promise I’m not getting any extra help or hints or anything. He just laughs at me when I get all bitchy about getting Cs in this class and tells me I should study more.”

Roy chuckled. “That’s because you don’t study, Dan. You don’t study at all.”

Danny motioned to him. “See? I have no unfair advantage, and Shane does all the grading, anyways. I just get fucked by him and perform with him.”

Roy groaned. “Daniel Anthony Noriega, would you please just not mention any kind of sex in front of the class?”

“What? We’re soulmates. If they think we haven’t fucked, then they need to think again. It’s not like I’m getting on my knees in front of everyone.” Danny reasoned.

“Nope. Just stop talking. Class dismissed. We’re done. I probably won’t ever see you again.”

Everyone started to get up and leave when one heckler in the back yelled for the couple to kiss for them.

Roy glared in the general direction of the person’s voice.

“We won’t tell anyone you’re soulmates if you do!” The boy promised. Slowly, the other students started to nod their agreement.

“Why do you want to see us kiss so badly? What are you going to get out of that?” Danny asked. “I mean, I’m down, but why?”

A girl in the front row shrugged. “It’d be cute, and some of us have never met a pair of soulmates before.”

“Fuck it.” Roy threw his hands up and grabbed Danny by the waist, pulling him in and kissing him hard.

Danny moaned loudly and pressed himself flush against his lover. The two were breathless when they broke apart.

“Jesus Christ that was hot…” someone in the middle of the room commented.

Danny looked down at Roy, his pupils blown out and his mouth still hanging slightly open. “What is the closest deserted place to here with a lockable door?”

Roy rolled his eyes and gently pushed Danny back a half step. “You have a class across campus in 20 minutes.”

Danny whimpered at the loss and pouted. “No I don’t. It’s friday. This was my last class of the week.”

Roy eyed the rest of the class. “You got your kiss. The next class needs to get in here.” He reminded them, walking out with Danny close on his heels.

The two made it to his office, and Roy shoved Danny against the door, pinning his arms above his head.

Shane yelped in surprise and looked confusedly between the couple. “What the hell has gotten into you today?”

“The whole class saw our soul marks at the beginning of the period. Roy’s probably going to be fired, and I want to be bent over that desk.” Danny explained in between kisses.

Shane scrambled to gather his papers and left, shouting that they had half an hour before he would be back.

Roy pushed Danny roughly on top of his desk and pulled his skirt up to his waist.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Danny pushed off the desk and sat sideways on Roy’s lap, his breathing evening out slowly.

“I love you.” Danny sighed happily.

Roy grinned and kissed his soulmate tenderly. “I love you, too, Danny.”

The two of them sat silently enjoying each other’s company for a few more minutes until Shane walked back in.

He looked at the two of them and let out a long breath. “Thank god you’re both dressed. The president of the university is headed this way.”

“We didn’t get undressed. I’m wearing a skirt.” Danny cocked a brow.

“Danny, I think you should go to your dorm.” Roy frowned.

Danny shook his head. “I’m not leaving. I’m a part of this as much as you are.”

Roy groaned. “Please don’t be difficult. You don’t need to get in trouble, too. If you’re expelled, you have to go back to Azusa.”

“I’m staying. I’ll be quiet and out of the way, but I’m staying.” He insisted.

“Fine. Go sit over there and don’t say a word.” Roy pointed to a chair in the corner.