#i swear to god i was just thinking about how kevins mom was irish

[wherebeeslive]

Have I, on my sixth reread of aftg, just realised exy is hurling with lacrosse gear and slightly modified rules on possession and contact?

[ladiekatie]

So... i remember for this year’s sterek week, one of the promtps was role reversal where stiles is the one with a large family and Derek has a small family, and it made me thiiink....

this got super fucking long soooo more under the cut. 

Like, not only does Stiles have 6 brothers and sisters (for a total of 7 Stilinski children), but he’s a twin. at that he’s not even the oldest, he’s the smack-dab-in-the-middle Middle Child™ He shares his room with 3 of his brothers and is forced on the top bunk of his bed where his twin, Stuart, kicks him in the middle of the night. David and Cole don’t do shit to try and stop him because of the twins, Stiles is the youngest and somehow deserves the nightly punishment. Across the hall, his two sisters Dina and Penny share what used to be an office, and the baby, Yani, sleeps in the crib in their parents room. 

He and all his brothers look more or less like carbon copies of each other, and people swear he and Stuart are the same person if they are not standing in the room together. His mom will often call him by the wrong name, and his dad doesn’t even call out names anymore, probably too confused by the mass of clones running in and out of his peripheries. 

They’re crammed into this tiny house that his parents bought ages ago, and it’s practically bursting at its seams with teenagers and a whoopsie baby. They all go to the same school, because Irish Twins seem to run in their Polish family lines. Stiles, and to a lesser extent Stuart, just get lost in the fold of things. He gets into a lot of trouble, but never enough to make his parents seem to notice him. Another call the principal’s office is old news they don’t even bother to ground him for. 

Derek on the other hand, lives with his mom. Just his mom. His dad died before he was born on a military mission in south america. He’s easily the apple of his mother’s eye. an eye which she rarely takes off of him for more than a few moments. If he’s not at school or at baseball practice, he is with his mother. She holds a tight leash on him, not because she’s a helicopter mom, but because she has no idea what she would do if she lost him. 

Derek’s mom has a good job, so their house is big, bigger than anything they will ever need. He kind of hates it. It’s usually quiet, and there is nothing to do besides homework and watch tv. he doesn’t even have a video game system because his mother is convinced it will make him violent. Derek doesn’t really have friends, none that he’s allowed to hang out with outside of school at least. It’s kind of suffocating.... 

Then they meet. 

Stiles is left to walk to school because fucking Cole, Penny, and Stuart left with the car they all share while Stiles was still in the shower, then dad dropped Dina and David off while Stiles was eating. Mom was going in the other direction to drop Yani off at Daycare and didn’t want to waste gas by driving him to school. Forgotten again. Jesus, he feels like a real life Kevin McCallister. 

It’s one of the rare days when Derek’s mom can’t take him to school, so Derek gets to ask Boyd to come pick him up. Erica is riding shotgun and they all have coffee from Starbucks. They’re talking about the test that is coming up at the end of the week, worried that Mr. Harris is going to post dumb questions about shit they haven’t even covered like he did on the last exam when Derek sees on of the Stilinski’s walking. Derek asks Boyd to slow down, and he opens the window and yells, “Stilinski!” because there are so many of them crawling over that school it’s almost impossible to tell them apart. The Stilinski turns around, “need a ride?” Derek offers, because it’s winter now and it’s fucking cold and no one should have to walk to school on a morning like this. 

At first Stiles turns it down, because a) Derek hale is a good kid and is probably just doing this out of pity b) This is probably the only alone time Stiles will get for a while c) Stiles is pretty pissed at the hand he’s been dealt, and this walk is really letting him let go of some pent up steam. 

But... Derek’s smile looks genuine, so he huffs out a sigh and makes his way into the little car. And it flourishes from there. Derek and Stiles make fast friends, like weirdly fast. Somehow being picked up becomes a thing for them, even if it’s Derek’s mom who picks him up and takes him to school. This leads to Derek’s mom allowing Stiles to come over after school sometimes, and even... letting Derek go out on Friday nights after his baseball games. 

It doesn’t take long for his brother’s to start teasing him about his new friend, or even a few times his new BoooOOoooyyyYYYYFFfffrriiiiIiieeEEnnnnNNNDddDdd. all of which Stiles vehemently denies. The first time Derek comes over to Stiles’ house, it’s a nightmare. The doorway is jammed with shoes, and there is a naked toddler running around and yelling upstairs and a smoke alarm in the kitchen and the back door is open, when did they get a dog? why is there salsa spilled on the couch?! and Derek loves it. 

Of course John and Claudia are super nice and eager to meet Stiles’ friend ‘he’s never brought home a friend before’ and dinner is good, if not a little darker than it should be and Derek kind of can’t believe that people can live so messily and be so happy. Derek is jealous of Stiles’ fully and loving house. 

On the flip side, Stiles loooooves being at Derek’s house, because it’s quiet and dinner is made and ready and he doesn’t have to fight over the food on the table. There are no stray animals crawling through the door and no toddler yelling about not wanting to put pants on. 

One night, when Stiles and Derek are dancing on that line between “are we friends or something more?” Stiles admits that he kind of hates his family, this coming after his mother announces she’s having another baby. He says that he hates being one of a set, and how even between him and Stuart, Stuart always seems a little bit more important. He says that no matter what he does to distinguish himself from his brothers, he can’t seem to be different enough for anyone to notice, and then:

“I notice,” Derek says  they’re sitting on the hood of the car Stiles and his brother’s share. Stiles bargained cleaning the bathroom for a month to get it for the night. 

and then Stiles leans over and kisses Derek, and Derek lets him and that night Derek’s mom is not happy that they stayed out past curfew but she knew he was with Stiles so they were safe. Their sleepovers get a lot more explicit after that. Cole goes off to college the next year, but the number of kids doesn’t change at Michael is born. 

Sometimes Derek will stay over at Stiles’ house, though sharing the room with his twin brother, little brother, and a toddler doesn’t allow for much hanky panky. When they stay at Derek’s they get it on like the horny teenagers they are. (tbh it was a relief to all parents involved that there weren’t going to be any stilinski grandchildren coming from Stiles and Derek anytime soon so they allowed it(Cole was NOT happy about this development when he tried to bring his girlfriend home after senior prom)) 

Like... Stiles and Derek don’t want to be dramatic... but they’re going to get married someday. Derek is a year older than Stiles, so when he graduates, he stays to go to community college to wait for Stiles. It’s year and years down the road, and Derek and Stiles finally put rings on it and they’re sitting at their dinner table talking about life and stuff and Derek just kind of asks off the top of his head, “So like... do you want a big family? For us, I mean?” because they both have talked about having a family before and they knew it was something they were going to want, the size of that family was never discussed though. Especially considering that after Stiles left his parents house, his mom and dad kept the limit of 8 kids in the house for 5 more years. brings Stiles family up to 13 kids. (The sheriff finally got a vasectomy, which he announced on facebook shortly after the last stilinski was announced.)

The question gave stiles pause, because his parents house was a mad house for years and years but... they were happy and loved. Despite Stiles near crippling identity struggles all throughout his childhood, he enjoyed having a big family. He also knew that Derek craved family, he was an only child, and ad no cousins. Hell, their wedding was pretty much a Stilinski family reunion with Derek and his mom. Seriously, the Stilinski are like fucking rabbits, Stiles has 82 cousins. Eighty. Two. Cousins. Stiles just didn’t know how big of a family Derek wants. 

“Do you?” he asks in lieu of an answer. 

“I mean... a few kids would be nice but-” Derek stops pausing to feel out Stiles’ facial cues. 

 “A few like-?”

“Four?” Derek answers, very nervous.

“Oh thank god,” Stiles says relaxing into his chair, he hadn’t even realized he was doing that. “I thought you were going to say something like 8. I couldn’t do 8. My mother was a saint but I’m pretty sure she contemplated murder once or twice.” Derek stares at Stiles some more. This definitely wasn’t a deal breaker, they know adoption is a hard avenue to follow, but it’s just to get a general idea. Stiles cuts into Derek’s thoughts, “Stop over thinking it. Four sounds perfect.”

AND THEN THEY KISS AND ADOPT THREE KIDS BECAUSE TURNS OUT THREE IS ACTUALLY PERFECT AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER THE END.