#i swear we're almost free of that though- alice will kick homophobes asses but until then

[noisydiary]

aftermath

☾ | once again adding on the whole prom thing, but adding the note here instead of at the end, since it's kind of important to read first! check it here!

Jess pulled her keys from the ignition, tossing them in her pocket as she hopped out of her car- letting off a sigh as she walked up to the front door of Video Video. At the very least, she could sink into her work- dig into the madness of Bonvini and his movies… and forget what happened here last week.

In all honesty, a lot happened since Prom night.

Jess was right in her thinking. Prom news was as Prom news is; a flutter of noise across the school that couldn't be silenced, no matter how much the teachers asked students to settle down. Some kid broke a foldable table after falling over into it, the stoners out back got yelled at by Mr. Fest and were told to cease and desist- but, of course, one of the hottest pieces of gossip was… well…

That the precious little student council president got her first kiss stolen by a dyke.

Everyone saw, after all. Yet, Gloria stuck to her promise-- she's surprisingly loyal, once you get to know her-- she kept her word for Jess, using her position as 'little miss popular cheer captain' to sweep away the truth of the incident.

…The truth…

Something that Jess had been avoiding all week. Yes, she was the one who acted first- yes, she and Faith talked about it… Sort of. And yet, walking up to the store, a little itch in the back of her mind warned her- if she walked in now, then she wouldn't be able to avoid the conversation anymore.

Wait.

Me avoiding the conversation? Isn't Faith the one who dodged away from it? What does it matter anyway? Maybe Faith isn't even here.

The little lies she told herself settled in as she pulled the door, reassuring her that nooo, it wasn't her, she's just- Worried for Faith and her reputation. That's all. That's it.

She took a moment before cracking open the door. A simple in and out should suffice- enough time to run to the back and grab her notes on their 'case'. Granted, more of her notes were back at home, but she kept a few here just in case…

The canned music played over the shop's PA, joined by the hum of all the TVs around the joint that really only played shitty B movies. Jess slinked inside as the bell rang with the door shutting behind her- and she started through the shelves before she heard someone speak, "Hello! Welcome in, feel free to ask if you need any assistance finding anything."

…And a chill ran down her spine as she recognised the softness in that voice- sweet and light, yet all the more warm as she got louder. She put her hands in her pockets as she peaked out from the shelves, seeing Faith behind the counter with a smile.

Fuck.

A beat after, Faith's smile fell for a moment, as her eyes blinked open and widened. Jess rubbed her neck and started muttering, "Heyy…"

Faith cut her off, her smile beaming, "Jessie!" as she hurried around the counter and moved up to Jess' space.

"Heyheyy! I'm just- Here for some of my stu-"

That same smile fell again as Faith's expression grew colder, her lips pressing together as she glanced off to the tapes, her voice softer and stern, "…Can we talk?"

Jess felt as her lips tightened, her teeth gritting as she looked to the back room, "…Is Leo here?"

Faith nodded, "He's sorting returns right now, so…"

"That's fine, I just- don't want him kicking me out… Kinda meant for this to be a short vis-"

"I-i know you did, but… well… I- we, I think… We really haven't been able to talk, and… I thought- I figured- I mean… I didn't think you'd want to talk at the meeting with everyone else, and-"

Jess raised her hand and gestured off, "Faith, you're rambling."

"…sorry…" Faith's gaze turned down to the ground as she bit her lip.

The chill that ran down Jess' spine earlier eased as Faith's attitude sank in- today, and the days before…

"…no. No, that's- it's fine, Faith," She rubbed her neck again, "I'm- sorry for pushing this on you."

"Pushing it on me?" An earnest note of confusion traced the words Faith said, looking up to Jess with furrowed brows.

"I mean, yeah? Of course…"

"…Jessie…" Faith pulled her hands back, rubbing her wrist as she figured out how to say the words in her head, "…I said last week- I- I've been thinking… a lot. Not even just now, or after that night… I mean… Of course, I- I've been wanting a prince all my life, someone perfect and, and… But- I don't know I just…"

"It's okay- it's- You're fine, Faith. It's okay to be confused and stuff. I fucked up, I'm sorry. I- pushed you into something you're not ready for, I get that-"

"I think I am, Jess."

The words fell from Faith's mouth, and yet they didn't register for a good minute- before Jess bit her lip, "I- don't think you are, Faith. I don't-"

"I've-- I've been writing about this kind of thing for months, Jessie- About… about being happy with someone like this, not just- hoping for some prince to show up and save me."

"Writing about it, and doing it are two entirely different things. And- God, doing things like we did last week can't happen-"

"Why not?!" Faith's words shook as she spoke them, carrying a force behind them Jess hadn't heard from Faith in a long time. "What's wrong with wanting a kiss from someone I like?! Hoping all night I'd get one from her- and when I do, she's so scared of touching me, like I'm a porcelain doll!! I want to be happy, with a love of my choosing that I am comfortable with, that I like-"

"Faith-"

Faith continued anyway, frustration in her voice as she tightened her grip on her wrist, her empty hand balling into a fist, "I mean, really, what's wrong with that? What's wrong with wanting to like someone?"

"Because what we like is wrong, Faith!"

Those words didn't fly over well, as Faith snapped her attention to Jess, fully looking into her eyes, "…I don't think it's wrong to want to be with someone, and to not have to hide away in my house if I want to be with them."

"Faith… I- The world isn't like that. It's not like your movies, or your books, or your writings. It's not like a princess could fall for her maid and be with her, and the world is all happily ever after. We- it's not okay to just be like normal couples, and do the things they do, because we could get kicked out of school for it. We could get sent to therapy, or put on medication, or sent to a camp, or-"

The anger in Faith's voice ebbed away as she softened, looking away as beads formed in her eyes, "…I thought you didn't care what they thought…"

"I don't-" Yes, you do- "I'm more than happy liking you, liking girls, just in general- both sides are attractive to me, I don't care- but… Not everyone is okay with that. This isn't just- doing what will piss someone off, or being socially defiant. Being like this," Jess gestured to herself, then to Faith, "So much worse could happen than just a slap on the wrist. It could ruin you, Faith. Ruin your whole life-"

Faith's bottom lip quivered a little as her shoulders shrank up, "You don't think I know that…?"

"…I-"

Before Jess could finish, Faith shook her head softly, "…then maybe I was right-- That- that this… this is just- A test. All my… everything- my writings and- and everything else," biting her lip so as not to bleed more information than she should've, "…I- don't want this…"

"Faith, no- that's not…"

"I'm- No! No… Jessie… I don't- I just don't think I can be like you…? I- teasing, and everything else… that's okay… but… Hiding all of this? From you, from Leo- from my mom and dad- I- I don't think I can do this any longer… I thought after what happened, that- if we just- if we just talked, that things would be okay! That things would clear up, and I- I could be honest… But… I-… I don't want to have to hide my whole life just to be happy with one person…"

Jess let off a sigh as she moved to take Faith- her hand to hold, or to pull her for a hug… But the beads hanging on her eyes fell as she finished speaking, and she shook her head softly as Jess reached out. Her hand pulled back as she gently pressed, "…you think this is a choice?"

Faith turned her head away sharply at those words, staring to the shelves. The two stood quiet for a bit, as Jess let the question sit on the air- before a heavy thud on the counter snagged both of their attentions.

"Heyy lovebirds-" Leo called, though Jess glared towards him, getting him to stiffen up, "Woah, woahh, damn Jess-"

Jess turned her head back to Faith, who had brought her hands up to her cheeks to wipe them dry, "…I- should… I should get back to work…"

Faith turned on her heel and walked back to the counter, quietly taking the box from the counter and leaving to put away the tapes inside. Jess, on the other hand, watched as she walked away, all of the words she had to say were caught in her throat… Leo cleared his throat after a moment, and Jess took the hint. She backed up through the shelves and left, the bell ringing as the door shut behind her.

…She didn't show to the meeting that night.