#i think i left a lil thank you note in your inbox on your main earlier because you really filled my heart with your sweet messages!! <3

[satorisoup]

you are like one of my favorite blog for haikyuu ever 😭😭😭

from 🤍@nek0mabokk

NEKKO !! thank you sosomuch you’re the sweetest pls! (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥) im so happy that you are a fan of my work! one of your favorites you say?! IM HONORED!! i’ve seen all of your lil comments and reblogs and it makes me so feel so delighted seeing your thoughts <3 I APPRECIATE ALL OF THE LOVE DEEPLY !! :3

[ichorai]

i just wanna say thank you to every single one of you !! the mutuals i talk to, the ppl i see on my dashboard, the ppl who like my fics / posts, and the 3.7k that follow me omg :(( i love yall sm i rlly dont deserve you guys

2021 may not be the blessing that all of us want, but we can try to survive through it together !! pls pls pls stay safe and healthy and my messages + inbox are always open for anybody who wants to talk or just needs a friend ♡

tumblr crushes.  everybody listed below are all the blogs i’ve had massive crushes on (dkjdf im rlly exposing myself huh) bolded are the crushes that follow me back aka my moots !! whether we talk every day or not at all, i love all of u sm :3

# - e ; 

@127-mile​, @1oserjk​, @3riberri​, @4-sun, @429hj, @99yh, @9uk, @aasthrielle, @agustdiv1ne, @angeliicmin, @angelinanamoo, @annawritesnct, @army-author, @ashisparanoid, @asteriaguk, @atbzkingdom, @ateez-little-star, @ateez-svt, @ateezinmymind, @ateezsunrise, @ateezthings, @atiny-ahgase, @atiny-baby, @atinybitofau, @atinybrew, @atinyfeels, @atinykidult, @atzgiggle, @aurorhwa, @ayyysweetcreature, @baehyukng, @baekhvuns, @baekhyunl, @baekonbaek, @baekwell--tart, @bangtantaegi, @barsformars, @beyond-gethsemane, @binnies, @blueish-sun, @bluelotuss, @bluemiinn, @bluumin, @brathyuck, @burgerkang000, @btsbed, @bubyjong, @butterflyjoong, @by-moonflower, @byeoltoyuki, @c-sanshine, @call-me-bha, @canyounotkaia, @cappujinho, @cchaiart, @ceojongho, @ceruleanskies, @chanbinns, @changsun, @cherryatiny, @cherryhan1386, @cherryjk, @chimtaera, @chittsu, @choi-san, @choijongho, @choisans, @chryzu, @cinanamon, @cinnaminsvga, @closer-stars, @cometoceantrenches, @cosmoguk, @cozyjae, @cozyteez, @crustypeppermintcookie, @crvgio, @cuddlyunho, @curanonemu, @daybreakx, @dazzlingkai, @ddaenysus, @ddalgi-yong, @dear-hao, @dearncityy, @dearyongs, @dejvns, @diaryofateez, @dis-easy, @djxiao, @dreamiehrs, @dreamiesdotcom, @dreamingxuxi, @dreamtaehyung, @dylanxmin, @eggyukhei, @elcie-chxn, @emhpathy, @ephemeralkookie, @essenteez, @eternalbulletproof, @ethaeriyeol

f - j ; @faerieth, @fakeleaves, @fandomsonrequests, @feverishdreamdistrict, @fleurateez, @flirtyhyuck, @flowerboyyoonbin, @flowerkth, @flowerseok, @floweryjh, @flvtteringpetals, @foreveryouaremystar, @fortunexkookie, @fqiryaurora, @gaylligator, @gowonhatesyou, @grxceblqckthxrn, @gukssunshine, @guktro, @gukwluv, @gukyi, @gyukult, @haine13, @halahala, @halahalaatme, @hanatiny, @hanavbara, @haotheheckk, @heartyyjeno, @heavenlyhongjoong, @heeseungluvs, @heterotragedies, @hobidreams, @honeybeedaydreams, @honeytae, @hongcultz, @hongism, @hopejanaee, @hoseoksyn, @hoshees, @hquackity, @httpknjoon, @hunjins, @hwaberrykiwi, @hwaddict, @hwanami, @hwaseongsbabie, @hwastreasure, @hyuckles-chuckles, @hyucktapes, @illicit-roses, @imlikechaitea, @imoonstarstuff, @inclebtsmix, @inkigayeo, @interstellix, @jaehyuked, @jaehywn, @jaemericano, @jaeminslatte, @jaeminsorbit, @jamaisjoons, @jamaiswoo, @jamaisvujjk, @jayehope, @jcngkooks, @jcngyeol, @jenojam, @jensungf, @jeogiyall, @jeong-uwu, @jeongyunhoed, @jeonqqin, @jeonsdear, @jeonsweetpea, @jimindelune, @jimineos, @jimlvb, @jinmindeulle, @jinned, @jisungshotfirst, @jjeongukie, @jjoon, @joenns, @johnni, @jonghours, @joonghwas, @jooniescupcakes, @joonsgalore, @joonsinnerchild, @juliaseongjoong, @junghelioseok, @jungkookiebus, @jungkxook, @jungshookz, @junstruly, @justrose-things, @jwyfldr

k - o ; @k-n-e-o, @kayabred, @kim-taehyung, @kimchitae, @kimnjss, @kimtaehyunq, @kingjoong, @kireiwoo, @kitsutaes, @kittae, @knjspjm, @kodabodaa, @kookiesjoonies, @kookiestarlight, @kookmint, @kpophoneybunny, @kqtiny, @kyung-seokie, @kyuscafe, @lafaussejoie, @lavenderkoo, @leebutnot, @leeknowism, @lettersfromaphrodite, @lettersfrompersephonae, @lightgreybg, @lilacwoo, @lostcherryjk, @loveablejeekies, @lovedsweet, @lovely-ateez, @lovelygalaxy333-writes, @lovsoul, @lunarmingi, @luvsjoon, @lvrbun, @lybomb, @m24sail, @mapofbts, @markftmingi, @may-tree, @meiiyue, @melodiamore, @mhirais, @midnightseonghwa, @milkbts, @milkyoonoh, @minflix, @minghaon, @mingi-theestallion, @mingkiii, @mingtopiaa, @minihongjoong, @minsugams, @mintyguk, @minyoongail, @mismatchmark, @mistymark, @mjlkau, @mmmhs, @mmoondance, @monotape, @moonblssm, @moongaera, @moonguk, @moonlightzone, @moonlitmyg, @mountainhearts, @mountainsluna, @ms-starlight, @nakamoto, @namgination, @namkooks, @naryfial, @neo-shitty, @neocitybynight, @neptune-xuxi, @nevio, @nose-bandaid, @nvmguk, @oceanofaurora, @ofcyunho, @oksws, @omot7, @onceatinymoo, @orphicepiphany, @osakkun, @ot7always, @park-seonghwa

p - t ; @peachjaem00, @peaches-writes, @personasintro, @petitemingi, @phattestuwu, @philosopher-of-fandoms, @pinktea99, @pinkyyunho, @pjimns, @pjmsdior, @prdshobi, @punkill, @queereightiesheartthrob, @riajae, @rookiegukie, @rosy-wooyoung, @royaltypark, @saksukei, @san-hwa, @sanhwaflower, @sannieboy, @sanstar, @santastic, @seacottons, @seiiblue, @seokstrivia, @seonghwanotes, @seongwhy, @seongsangies, @seonqwha, @serendipityseulgi, @serendipityunho, @serenityswords-main, @seungyoune, @shangri-woo, @she, @shuhuas, @sichengsbimbo, @sillyseoks, @simphwa, @simpsiren, @sketchguk, @skymoonandstardust, @sleepingrenjun, @sleepyateez, @sleepyjhs, @sleepyyangyang, @smallfrye, @smileysuh, @smoochkooks, @snackhobi, @softjeon, @softyoongina, @solarmingi, @soleilees, @songteez, @spacejaems, @sparklingchan, @starlightjoong, @starryseung, @starsuh, @straypatchkids, @strayssara, @stressed-asian, @stutterfly, @sugarboyuto, @sugarjaee, @sugaxjpg, @sungchans, @sunkissedjk, @superhajimark, @taehyungsjuicybooty, @taeilmeyourw1sh, @taelepathysroom, @taemines, @taerseok, @taeyongleee, @talkbykhalid, @tbhchoi, @tearvantae, @teeniemoarmy, @tenaciousinferno, @tenseoyong, @teote, @thanxxskz​, @the-marionettes-locket​, @the-star-named-dowoon​, @the-wonandonly​, @thespadesinyourhearts​, @thorsdreams​, @timetoresurface​, @tiniesan​, @tinylaelia​, @toffee-hwa​, @treasure-hwa​, @treasurehobi​, @tsukuyomes​, @tvfff​, @twdeadfanfic​

u - z ; @uayv​, @userguk​, @utopianvoices​, @v-hope​, @vante-love​, @vanxbb​, @venusjinnie​, @viastro​, @wabisaba​, @waiyv​, @warmau​, @whimsical-ness​, @wincore​, @wintertae​, @wonglix​, @woojjongs​, @wooyunhwa​, @writearctic​, @wuuyoung​, @xherxx​, @xiaocity​, @xjoonchildx​, @xsandjenos​, @xuxi-rolls​, @yeochikin​, @yeoldontknow​, @yeoldotcom​, @yeosangscupid​, @yeostars​, @yeosvng​, @yessidzuiichi​, @yooaliceee​, @yoondoze​, @yoongicrumbs​, @yoongs-jeontae​, @yoonia​, @yoonohho​, @yunhoiseyecandy​, @yunhoway​, @yunhowhoitiss​, @yuniixoxo​

follower count + note ; 3.7k ???? why are yall following me omg kdjdkfjd thank you :(( the amount of love i hold for you guys is immeasurable !! a lot of yall tell me that you’re too scared to talk to me but pls do !! i dont bite i swear !! i love making friends here ! and im sorry for not replying to all of your asks :// sometimes i like to keep them private for my eyes but i swear i read every single one !! thank you again and have a great new year !

following count ; 1.3k lmaoo my dashboard is constantly flooded and sometimes it’s really hectic but fr thank you all for filling my tumblr with happiness and positivity with the occasional thirst trap for a kpop idol rip

2020 fics + upcoming in 2021 recapping all of the fics i wrote this year + lil comments / behind the scenes

- read to me ; kim namjoon ; may 23 - an accident ; johnny seo ; may 23 - chocolates ; jung jaehyun ; may 23 - flash drive ; lee donghyuck ; may 23 - rain ; jeon jungkook ; may 25 - flirts (but no kisses) ; park seonghwa ; may 29

i wrote all of the fics above as part of a short drabble game i made to get out of my writers block !! they weren’t my best works, but i got around 70 requests omg and i only wrote out the first six rip :(( i wanted to write more but i just needed a break for my mental health and couldn’t continue on so i’m sorry to those who requested and didn’t get a fic :(

- rivers over stones ; jeon jungkook ; sept. 12 this huge monster of a fic was what got me out of my writers’ block !! tbh i expected the fic to get like.... 20 notes but it ended up getting far past 3.5k omg thank you so much for all the praise for this fic, it took sooo long for this fic to get out too smh, i can’t believe it was still received so well !!! fyi i read every single review / reblog tags bcs i love reading what yall think :D 

- the day bled away ; park seonghwa ; oct. 16 i wrote this after catching up to the good doctor and i was just in the mood for angst and the idea of hwa being a doctor lol

- mr. sad piano man ; min yoongi ; oct. 29 more fluffy soft angst !! i love writing this genre, especially for yoongi and i’m happy this one was received well !!!

- birthday waffles ; min yoongi ; nov. 14 i was just so soft for yoongi and i wanted to write more for him !! so i made this soft / angsty fic that i’m not particularly proud of, but i’m still glad it’s out there bcs it was sitting in my draft doc for sooo long

- cellmates ; one ; two ; three ; jung wooyoung ; oct. 19 - dec. 23 this is my baby :(( my first long original series !! i’m sooooo excited for this fic to progress and i’m so happy you guys like it as well :3 i love making yall suffer lmaoo 

coming soon in 2021... - future parts of cellmates - king!taehyung x mage!reader (21k written / estimated 40k) - fire!seonghwa x ice!reader (5k written / estimated 20k) - lots and lots more !!!

check out m.list + wips for more info.

final note.

thank you all :(( i really don’t have any words to say left so pls just stay safe and have a happy new year !!! my inbox and messages are always open !

[smoochcal]

numb without you (part seven)

a/n: this part was harder to write than the ones before and I really don’t know why. I would also like to say a big giant thank you to miss el for inspiring a lot of the little details of this series. if you are interested in reading the previous parts of this series, please check out my masterlist. thank you always for reading this series and supporting my writing and as always my inbox is always open so please tell me your honest opinion about this series and any comments or suggestions you may have. please try to get this to 20 notes as soon as possible so I can start working on the next part :) (part six here) happy reading!

pairing: readerxluke

word count: 1.5 k

playlist: numb without you by the maine, I see the light (from the tangled soundtrack) by mandy moore and zachary levi

summary: you accidentally ask luke to be the godfather of your unborn child, luke points out something you haven’t noticed before, calum is being shady

rating: PG-13

warnings: swearing, mentions of weight gain, body image issues, puking

---------------------------------------------------

Luke’s POV:

I can’t believe she asked me to be the baby’s godfather last night…I swear she was going to rip me a new one but instead she let it slip that her and Calum want me to be the one to take care of their kid if something ever happens to either of them? I’ve been quiet for a while, but I think Y/N understand why. This is a lot to take in. I mean I am honored to be considered for this. I would love to be the godfather of their kid. I just didn’t expect to be asked this soon.

---------------------------------------------------

Y/N’s POV:

You cannot believe you just dropped that on Luke. You know you were rambling, but really? You and Calum weren’t planning on asking Luke if he would be the godfather of your kid until you found out the gender. That was about a month away and now you went and ruined the surprise. You blew it. And you were so upset with yourself.

You quickly get up from where you were sitting on the couch next to him and head over to the kitchen. As soon as you get up from the couch, Luke grabs your hand in order to get your attention.

“What?” you ask, annoyed that he wouldn’t let you physically walk away from the awkward situation you just made.

“You’re showing…” Luke replies, looking at you like your baby bump is the best thing since sliced bread.

You think he’s kidding, but you were already so far along that he probably isn’t. You run to your bedroom where you have a full-length mirror and you lift up your shirt to see if you noticed anything different with your body. And sure enough, there was a small bump forming near your abdomen. You are in awe of this. Of course, you saw the small spot on the ultrasound monitor and were puking most nights, but this is the first moment you have really comprehended the fact that you are pregnant. Really, truly pregnant. You will be a mom in less than six months.

Just then you catch Luke staring at you, staring at yourself in the mirror. Suddenly you get a very strange and sudden flashback of a moment very similar to this one.

A couple of years ago Luke went with you to try on bridesmaids’ dresses for your cousin’s wedding. You had been having some health issues that made you gain and lose weight irregularly to the point where you never had a constant weight. Luke went to help the worker grab another size for you to try on and when he came back to give you the dress, he found you staring at your stomach in the mirror. You were going through one of the periods of gaining weight and you obviously were not happy with the way your stomach looked, but Luke made sure you didn’t focus on the negatives. He was always reminding you of how beautiful you were, especially to him.

You snap back to the present day and slowly pull down your shirt over top of your now obviously protruding bump. You are about to thank Luke for always knowing the right thing to say when another thought clouds your mind.

“I have to tell Calum...” you say to Luke although it barely comes out of your mouth louder than a whisper.

He nods and leaves the room to allow you to call him in private.

---------------------------------------------------

Calum’s POV:

At this point you might as well have a separate ringtone for her. Especially considering that with each passing day we are getting that much closer to when the baby will be here. The longer you think about it, the more time it takes away from you actually answering the phone. Before taking another minute to think, you subconsciously answer the phone.

“Hello?” you say, hoping that this call is nothing too serious considering you had other things to attend to at the moment.

“Hey Calum…uh sorry if this is a bad time or something but I kinda messed up…I maybe accidentally told Luke that we were going to ask him to be the kid’s godfather….I’m sorry it just slipped he came over and I was explaining something to him and then I started rambling and I didn’t understand what I was saying until I said it…I’m sorry…” Y/N says on the other line.

“That’s fine, Y/N. I mean we were going to telling him in a couple weeks anyway…no big deal…is there anything else you wanted to tell me? I was kind of in the middle of someth-” you got caught off before you could finish your sentence.

“Oh, yeah! Luke is still over right now, and he noticed that I was showing. That’s mainly the reason I called, just to let you know that. Pretty exciting stuff and I didn’t want you to feel left out or out of the loop about it,” Y/N concludes.

“That’s great! I can come over sometime tomorrow if you want…so I can see the lil guy, or girl I guess, and say hi…” you trail off, hoping she will agree to you visiting tomorrow and that this conversation will end at that.

“Yeah that’s fine…I get off work at 5, so I’ll see you at 6?” Y/N questions, sounding a bit down that this conversation is nearing its end.

“6 is great, see ya then. Take care of yourself, Y/N,” you say right before hanging up an ending the call.

---------------------------------------------------

Y/N’s POV:

Calum sounded weird on the phone, but you decided to not waste your time thinking about it too much and instead you went into the bathroom to look at the bump forming on your stomach again. There is really a baby in there, and although you’ve known you were pregnant for a few weeks now, the thought still is crazy to comprehend. A few minutes later you come out of the bathroom and join Luke back on your couch.

“So, what do you say?” you ask Luke.

“What do you mean?” Luke responds, obviously confused at your question.

“Will be you the godfather of the kid growing inside of me?” you ask, hoping his answer will be yes.

“Of course,” Luke responds, “…it will be a lot of responsibility, especially if something happens to you or Calum, but I’m honored that you both trust me,” Luke says with a smile.

And right as those words left his mouth, you latched onto him in one of your infamous koala hugs, only letting go when he dramatically stated that you were crushing his bones. For the first time in a long time you feel happier than you could ever remember being before. Sure, your life isn’t going the exact way you planned it. You weren’t 26 with a solid career and a big house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and a husband, but considering your current circumstances you were very, very happy.

You have your best friend by your side through this all and honestly, he is probably the one who is going to save you from losing your mind on a daily basis. You were so incredibly thankful to have Luke in your life, not just now but always. The two of you have been through a lot together over the years and you can’t believe he is about to be the godfather of your unborn child at the early age of 21. A couple of years ago neither of you would have put yourselves in the current situation you are in, but you truly wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sure, the plan in the back of your head involved you and Luke dating and eventually getting engaged, married, then kids. The whole usual timeline of things, but you were not as upset as you thought you would be having Calum’s child. Calum was a nice dude and he has been really helpful throughout the pregnancy so far and if you were being honest it was nice that the two of you could share something besides parties with one another. You are still upset with yourself for ending up in Calum’s bed that night instead of Luke’s, but now you have this wonderful life growing inside of you, which is magical beyond compare.

The rest of the night consists of you and Luke doing the thing that the two of you do the most. You let him choose the movie and he puts in Tangled, claiming that it was a manly movie and to not make too much fun of him for choosing a Disney movie to watch. You smile and tease him sparingly, draping his favorite blanket over the two of you as you both obnoxiously sing along to each musical number that occurs throughout the movie.

In this moment you were happy. Happy to be with your best friend, happy about the tiny baby slowly but surely growing inside of you, and happy that you weren’t puking for the first time in a while even though it was nearing 11:30pm. Tonight makes you think about what future you may have with Luke, which makes the usually knot in your stomach warm instead of sour.