#i think i love the concept of their dynamic being more biting and clashing than fluffy

[satiricaily]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Sandman (TV 2022), The Sandman (Comics) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling, Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling Characters: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Hob Gadling Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Unhealthy Relationships, slightly?, Museum Guide Hob, (But not really focused on), Funerals, Past Hob/Original characters, Background Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Character Study, First Kiss, (Although it was not very consensual at first), Look they're just not very good people (or anthropomorphic personifications in dream's case), But they do want something from each other and maybe it works out, Maybe it'll be disastrous, Anyways, Non-Explicit Sex, Their reunion don't go very swimmingly here, No beta I wrote this in the dead of night and slept at 5am, oh and, Abused use of italics Summary:

"You attended a funeral, I presume?" The stranger asks, his sharp blue eyes glancing down at Hob's black suit.

"One of many, yes," Hob nods. He feels strangely fragile all of a sudden. Like his friend can see the way he had cried at Amélie's gravestone if he said more, or how he had lasted long in the anger phase of grief when he realised his Stranger might never come back.

Or, Dream finds Hob at a cemetery for their reunion instead of the New Inn.

[fictoromanticism]

type preferences vs dynamics and why your f/o loves you!

i’ve been thinking this over a little, and it’s something i’ve seen people say now and again - “i’m not my f/o’s type, so they’d never spare me a glance.” i’m here to shatter that thought with a sledgehammer by introducing a much more nuanced way to look at relationships.

this post has been made before, in short, by someone else on this site - the basic concept that dynamics are more important than one’s “type” isn’t something i came up with entirely independently, nor is the phrasing of type versus dynamic. however, i don’t remember where to find the original post! if i come across it, i will be sure to link it here.

more information is, as always, under the cut!

to start, let’s give a definition of each term, and talk a little about what it means in terms of attraction and a potential relationship. you probably have a good idea of what they mean already, but it can’t hurt to clarify.

a “type” can be two things - the general sort of person one finds themselves drawn toward again and again, or the general sort of person one consciously decides to pursue. in either case, a type typically isn’t any deeper than a few preferences, whether those are related to personality, appearance, etc.

“dynamic” refers to the nature of one’s interactions with another person. for example, two people who are consistently at odds may be said to have a bad dynamic, while those who are close and tend to get on well would have a good dynamic. one can describe dynamics in myriad other ways, though - there are as many unique, multifaceted dynamics as there are people!

the common, self-defeating fallacy of believing your f/o would have no interest in you lies in the assumption that being the correct type would be preferable to having a good dynamic - and that’s just not true!

for example, character A is just B’s type. A is tall, with a sarcastic sense of humor and just the sort of fashion sense B loves. even so, B can’t stand A - A thinks B is dull, and is constantly directing her biting sarcasm toward B, who doesn’t appreciate it one bit. their dynamic is so bad, A being B’s “type” would never work in her favor. they just don’t get along. maybe B ends up with a crush on C instead. C isn’t someone B would expect to be interested in, because he’s quiet and shy, but C is understanding and respectful to B, and that makes their dynamic pretty strong. B comes to realize C is pretty sweet-natured - and that ends up even more of a draw than anything that A may have had going for her.

this isn’t an absurd scenario at all, is it? despite people’s preferences and desires, the human element in any interaction makes things a lot less cut-and-dry. some people who seem at a glance “just right” for each other are anything but. there are a million gears turning in everyone’s head - love and friendship is all about the way those gears turn together, and that’s a lot more complex than a checklist you might find on a dating profile or character sheet.

ultimately, if you find yourself asking why you’re the one your f/o loves, rather than someone who matches their “type,” try not to think of as a mold to fit - it’s the least important thing about a relationship. after all, you’ve probably felt a lot for at least one person who was decidedly unexpected, too!

if you want to explore your dynamic more, think about a few topics which are common in daily life, or your f/o’s universe, and expand from there. there are some broad subjects and good questions to ask, and i’ll give a few of those as a springboard, but it’s good to think of your own questions, too. imagine it like a dialogue, almost. what does your f/o think? what do you think? how do these ideas work together?

humor: what sort of jokes amuse your f/o? do they have a sense of humor? how do you joke with them? do you two have very different ways of joking? do your jokes influence theirs, and vice versa?

love: what’s your f/o’s opinion of romance? yours? have the two of you had any important romantic relationships in the past? how do you approach this new one? what do you and your f/o want out of love? do those things clash? how do you reconcile it?

friendship: introvert or extrovert? a lot of friends or few? how do you feel about each others’ friends? do you prefer to be alone together, or to hang out in a group? is it maybe an even mix?

fun: do either of you push the other into adventures or new situations? what do you like to do? do you do it together, or do you both have your own separate hobbies? anything you two would share or teach each other?

health: is your f/o sickly? are you? do either of you care for the other? if either of you have mental health issues, what are your approaches to those? what do you understand most and least about their mindset? what do they understand most and least about you?

politics: do you two talk at length about what you see on the news every night, or could you not care less about all that talk? do you have very different ideas, or are you aligned closely? do you ever debate about anything, or teach each other about your viewpoints? how do you feel about your f/o’s politics?

ultimately there are a LOT more questions you could ask, and i really encourage you to think of as many as you feel are helpful or relevant. it’s not something you have to write down (unless you want to!) or think of as a checklist - in fact, you really shouldn’t. just think honestly. when you’ve gotten some answers and ideas about where you’d agree or disagree (and it’s fine to disagree), it’s a lot easier to imagine the way you two might interact. think about how you might work out your problems or bolster your shared strengths, and what sort of circumstances could bring you together.

seeing the way you’d work together isn’t always easy, and sometimes it takes a lot of thought to know for sure how things would go. it’s always a work in progress - real relationships can be like that, too, after all, with plenty of unexpected twists and turns. however, once you get to that point, it’s much easier to understand why your f/o loves you: it’s because you two share an important bond, built on the way you work together.

[caracalliope]

Drone Season Letter

Dear Writer, 

... 

Hi! Thanks for writing for me! 

I love the ships I’m requesting, and anything about them will make me happy.

For general inspiration, here are some kinks/details/tropes I like in smut:

*Spanking, whipping, paddling, flogging, face slapping, caning… listen, if it’s someone getting hit, I’ll love it *Thighs *Overstimulation, especially of characters who are usually composed, powerful, cool, or in control *Characters humbling themselves deliberately *Power differences (god/worshiper, highblood/lowblood, Petstuck scenarios, historical AUs with class difference, boss/secretary) *Reversed power differences (different dynamics behind closed doors) *Joyous consensual D/s *Unhappy D/s being forced on characters in some way, like in a D/s AU - for example, someone being forced to punish someone else, etc. *Prisoners/slaves/servants being met with kindness *Kisses in unusual places (hands, shoes, neck, back of the knee) *Gangbangs (consensual or not) *Biting (vampiric or not) *Hair-pulling, horn-pulling, face-fucking *Moirails with pails, or best friends being forced to fuck *Kneeling *Public or semi-public sex (like in an arena, on an altar, on the stage, but also like bent over a desk in a library) *Gleeful masochism *Gleeful friendly sadism *Boot worship *Hurt/comfort - a character being tortured/raped/humiliated or simply just having a bad day, and the other character taking care of them 

My DNWs: 

*Character death (unless it ends with resurrection) *Discussion of different lifespans *Rape within the requested ships *Characters being drunk or high in the fic (sex pollen is fine) *Age differences added to the requested ships *A/B/O, pregnancy, animalistic urges/instincts to mate (sex pollen is still fine, just no heats please) 

Note: I like dubcon where characters' choices are influenced by a power difference or an external threat, but I still prefer them to have sex by their own choice, perhaps finding some autonomy within a bad situation.

Note2: Epilogues Roxy being a guy delighted me, and so did nonbinary Roxy. But I still love and 100% welcome cis girl Roxy (unless the fic is set specifically in the Meat epilogue). My personal headcanon is trans girl Roxy, and that portrayal would be amazing too. Really, anything you do with Roxy's gender is good with me.

Now - specific requests! I just pasted these from the requests I submitted.

Marsti/Marvus I came out of Friendsim shipping Marsti♦Marvus somehow. But any other quadrants would be welcome too, as long as they are very fond of each other. Some very optional prompts in case you're looking for ideas: - Marvus gets gangbanged by his fans (or by adults) and Marsti helps him clean up - Marvus is hiding a lowblood heritage, and Marsti is his secret ally, but he ends up needing to hurt her in front of some highbloods - One of them needs to de-stress after a hard day's work, and the other can provide a kinky distraction - Drone season is upon them and everyone wants to know who Marvus will pail with... but he only cares about one person. - Hemospectrumswap? Show me the cleanfreak clown and her lowblood rapper boyfriend.

Cirava/Eridan Cirava and Eridan works for me because they're both very stylish and I think that Eridan would test Cirava's resolve to no longer be sassy around highbloods. I'd prefer if they were about the same age, and if Eridan does NOT write fic about Cirava. Some extremely optional prompts: - Eridan sucks off his personal assistant - Cirava gets thrown into sexual servitude but it goes better than expected - Corsets! - It's awkward having a seadweller groupie but Cirava is getting used to it - Penpals who discover disquieting things about each other. Or maybe they just sext and there is a lot of tension and unspoken feelings? - Hemospectrumswap. A dashing one-eyed sea captain keeps their angsty goldblood lover on a leash (metaphorically?!??)

Rosebot/Kanaya or Rosebot/Rose or Rose/Rosebot/Kanaya Okay, so, I loved the Epilogues, and specifically I loved the Rose/Kanaya parts. I thought it was very romantic when Kanaya got furious and decided to get her wife back. But if you like, you can disregard how Rosebot came to be. I'll be perfectly happy with contextless robofucking if that's what you prefer! Just please give me Rosebot with Kanaya, with Rose, or with both. (Rose can be Meat Rose getting her body back, but it can also be any other Rose, including Alpha Rose or Jasprose.) Optional prompts are optional: - Rose♠Rosebot with extremely rough sex - Kanaya finds her wife, she and Rosebot fuck Rose's body awake (somnophilia! <3) - Kanaya finds a robot-version of her wife and discovers that robo-stamina can be fun - Kanaya gets spanked as a collaborative Rose-Rosebot effort (teamwork!! <3) - AU where Kanaya mail-orders a sexbot and it doesn't go as planned - steampunk AU where Kanaya serves a frightening clockwork god

Dave/Karkat/John/Terezi My OT4! Can you please have them have kinky sex? It doesn't have to be all the characters at once - it's cool to just focus on any pair, as long as it's happening within the greater context of them all dating each other. Or maybe they're not dating but thrown together by circumstance and then they make the best of it. In case you're looking for ideas, here are some ways it could happen: - The two friendleaders each choose a sub, and then prove that their sub is the best sub. - Messy makeouts on a big bed turn into more, and maybe some hair-pulling happens as well! - Petstuck AU where John and Dave go shopping - It's the troll revolution! Maybe John is a depressed/disaffected Crocker heir who gets tangled up with some subversive elements? Maybe Karkat is a messiah figure and he's got three unlikely apostles? - Arranged marriage AU with secret spouse swaps

Dirk/Dave/Karkat Okay so I love Dirk. I equally love: ** sweet, caring, dorky Homestuck Dirk, who tries too hard ** megalomaniacal, mindfucked, pushy Epilogues Dirk, who tries waaaaay too fucking hard and whichever Dirk you choose, I would love to see him getting wrecked, please. I just love the way he has this idea of himself as being super in control, and then it turns out he is very wrong about that and enjoys being proved wrong by Dave and Karkat, who love and understand each other. And maybe they're more confident than Dirk expects? Some expectations vs. reality clash would be nice. Possible scenarios, in case you like working with a prompt: - Homestuck Dirk goes out dancing for the first time, ends up getting spitroasted in the bathroom by his brother and brother-in-law - Karkat wants to practice being an assertive friendleader, and Dave volunteers Dirk for the job of subbing to Karkat - Epilogues Dirk wants to force Dave and Karkat to have sex, or cuddle, for important narrative reasons. He gets dommed into shutting the hell up - Mediaeval AU, two knights and a prince who doesn't know what the hell he wants - Epilogues Dirk asks for punishment - Homestuck Dirk just really wants to clean some shoes with his mouth

Roxy/John/Sollux OKAY so know how John thinks hackers are cool? I'd love to see him get some worship on with his hacker buddies. Messy filthy sex would be excellent in this ship, and any quadrants are welcome. (Please note that I also adore Sollux/Feferi, so please don't break them up or give them a darkfic angle. It's fine to just not mention them though.) Optional prompts are optional:<br /> - Someone invents a spanking machine; someone else is the test subject<br /> - (modified Candy option:) John's spouse just rescued a runaway troll and is hiding him from the cake drones<br /> - Trollstuck AU: drone season: the fuckening (I'd really love to see what troll John and Roxy would be like, and Sollux back in Alternian civilization is such a fascinating concept)<br /> - One of them is worried and needs a distraction and maybe a gag<br /> - High seas AU with a rogue and an heir getting kidnapped and interrogated by the Heiress's First Mate - John is the demon (or patron god) of hackers, and Roxy and Sollux summon him for help and/or forgiveness after their coding heresies - Cyberpunk anything, ideally with cool futuristic boots

[princeescaluswords]

If Scott is so boring, and Stiles/Sterek fans hate him so much, why do you think that they constantly steal Scott's personality traits and give them to Stiles?

This is going to get me so much backlash.    So Much Backlash!

Your question, while short, has many parts, and each one of those parts is a mine field.   To summarize, I’ll ask you to bear in mind two key factors: the concept of redemptive love and heteronormativity.    It is highly romantic to believe that being loved by someone and/or loving someone else makes you a better person.   It is also a tendency for people to force non-heterosexual relationships into a particular mode because its comfortable and/or attractive.  

PART 1:  Why do they think Scott is boring?

I feel we have to start with by examining Scott and Stiles at their base.   While they share some things in common, they have very different personalities.   Stiles serves as a foil to Scott in the narrative – his actions exist to highlight Scott’s qualities as the protagonist.   It is why I believe that others might see a schism lurking below the surface or why I believe that others might see Stiles as an alternative protagonist.    In my mind, crucial to the idea of ‘Scott is boring’ is the difference in their insecurities.  

Both boys are insecure, but they are insecure in different ways.   Scott has a very positive attitude about his identity.   He believes himself deserving of love, he believes he has a right to life and self-determination; he believes he is, at base, a good person.   What makes him a hero is that he believes this not just of himself, but of everyone, and is willing to risk his life for others to have these rights as well.

Scott’s weakness is his insecurity of competence.   Scott believes he may not be smart enough or capable enough to preserve his and other’s rights to life and self-determination.   “I can’t do this!” he cries.   “I can’t be this and be with Allison.”  Or, “Actually, I never know what I am doing.”  Or, “Wouldn’t it be better if I was no one again.”  Or, “Are you kidding?   You said you’d give me a few trade secrets, but right now, I need a full-on training manual.”  Or, “I should have done better, I should have figured something out.”    Scott knows what to do, he just doesn’t believe in his ability to accomplish it.

Stiles, on the other hand, always believes that he can accomplish things.  He always believes that he has the right answer, and people are stupid and ignorant for not listening to him.   It’s why he doesn’t see anything wrong with his biting sarcasm, with his manipulating people to get what he wants, but it’s also why he will charge headlong to save people without a thought for the consequences.   Even though he is human, he acts as if that doesn’t matter.  If you are confident you know what to do, why hesitate?

His weakness, though, is his insecurity of nature.   Stiles, believes, at his base, that he is a dangerous, if not thoroughy wicked, human being.   This springs from Claudia, but it is now an ingrained habit.  There’s  a reason he refused the bite from Peter; why he told his dad “I’m not a hero;” why he idolizes Scott; why he was targetted by the Nogitsune; why he won’t trade his life for his friends to the Chemist, even if he doens’t know if they’re alive or dead; why he couldn’t tell anyone about Donovan.   He doesn’t believe that he has the same right to life or happiness as everyone else.  He sees himself as expendable because he sees himself as bad.  

People think Scott is boring because an insecurity of nature is far more dramatic than an insecurity of competence.   When Scott makes a mistake, he picks himself up and says “I’ll do better next time.”   If he does suffer serious doubts, other’s belief in him can help him recover quickly.    Scott doesn’t dwell on it, because at his base he still believes that he can win.

Stiles, as Scott’s foil, doesn’t have that same internal resources.   When Stiles makes a mistake, this is just evidence to him that he’s a terrible person.   He deserves to be hurt; he rejects others’ belief in him.   Which is why he keeps things secret.   It’s very dramatic, and very sympathetic, but it’s also a weakness.   We saw in Season 5 exactly how much of a weakness it was.   If Stiles believed in himself enough to get help after Donovan, Season 5 might never have happened as it did.

Scott seems boring (and doesn’t seem to be ‘responsible’) because he, at his base, understands that he is trying his best.  He doesn’t need to flog himself when he makes a mistake – he fixes it.   He doesn’t isolate himself when he feels overwhelmed – he gets help.   If what interests you is unresolved angst, then that could be seen as ‘boring.’  It does make for a good hero, though.

PART 2: Stiles and Derek

Before I get into this part,  I want to restate that I am not saying ‘this is what all Ste rek shippers believe!’   That would not only be unrealistic but also irresponsible.   This is my speculation about it, and it is not meant to be the Final Word.  In fact, as many efforts there are that rob Scott to improve Stiles, there are just as many that don’t.

I think that ‘Enemies to Lovers’ trope is very, very popular becuase of the extraordinarily romantic nature of it.    It’s been that way form “The Philadelphia Story” to “Moonlighting” to this show.   The idea that attraction can eventually erode even the strongest animosity is so tempting because it offers hope.   It is the counter to 'no one could ever love me.’

The idea of their pairing also grows stronger when you bringing in the concept of redemptive love.   Both Stiles and Derek have, to their own minds, 'betrayed’ the bonds of love.   Stiles feels guilt over his mother’s death, even though he know it wasn’t his fault, and over Scott being bitten.    Derek feels guilt because of Paige’s death and the destruction of his family, even though he knows it wasn’t his fault.  

What a tempting picture to see these two damaged souls 'fix’ each other by falling in love!   There is undoubtedly a connection (which I personally do not see as romantic) between them.   Stiles’ emotional aggressiveness plays very well against Derek’s initial locked-own stoicness.   No scene, I think, underlines this better than the 'make a fist’ scene in “Chaos Rising.”   Their interactions are sharp and full of life.   I don’t see romance, but it doesn’t seem an unreasonable conclusion to me.

If you accept Stiles and Derek as romantic, there is a problem that frequently intrudes (and not just this relationship)  – heteronormativity.   We’re comfortable with established roles in a relationship because that is what we see every day.   There are exceptions, of course, and media is getting better at it, but this is still the norm.

With two clashing personalities like Stiles and Derek, the safest and most efficient way to ‘fix them’ with redemptive love is to force the characters into established gender roles.   This is where we get Pack Mom Stiles who likes to cook, remembers everyone’s schedules, and always has a kind word for everyone, even though he was a sarcastic thoughtless asshole in the show.     They need to Derek to be the  Man, strong and silent (and alpha!) and Stiles to be the Woman, caring and sensitive and efficient.   The problem is that Stiles, while fiercely devoted, is not particularly caring, and he is certainly not sensitive.   Scott, on the other hand, was the person who made the most emotional connections with others, including Derek, Isaac, Boyd, Lydia, and Liam.    

But if they make Stiles the caring and emotional person, it creates a disconnect because of his nature as Scott’s foil.   The dynamics of their relationship are off.   To maintain that balance, Scott has to lose those traits, and when he does, when he ceases to be concerned with everyone having the right to life and self-determination, then his moral certainty seems like arrogance and his insecurity of competence seems like selfishness.