#i think in that case even its why she was more comfortable abt pursuing nate bc she was sure about it now

[pinayelf]

I'm finally gonna post abt amihan's bisexual ~Awakening (for a lack of a better word)

I wanna put a disclaimer that this is BASED OFF my own personal experience and writing it through amihan is a way to express and explore that experience

amihan always knew she was attracted to women. she had a crush on lily when she was in the Circle (which was a reason why she tattled on jowan, very bad jealousy, yeah she messed up there). she thought she was only attracted to women

when she got conscripted and left the circle, she got to the outside world and met a bigger variety of people (not just men) and was able to know herself outside the Circle.

alistair got her realizing that she was attracted to men. he's sweet and kind, and was nice and patient with her even when she was an absolute nightmare.

I don't want it to come off as the "Oh you just need to meet the right man" because it's not - like me, it's just that her attraction to women was obvious first. then it wasn't until later she also realized she was attracted to men.

she was also in a place where the men she trusted weren't authority/parental figures (Irving, but she definitely doesn't trust him anymore) or are like siblings (finn and anders) to her

I've been transparent about my own journey wrt to realizing I was bi (I didn't think I was attracted to men from when I was 18-24, then realized I was) and i want to make an oc that goes thru that same queer journey. I chose amihan because I've had her before my bi realization and back then she was also a lesbian, so I wanted her to come on this journey with me.