#i think of brennan's “there is no god i worship more than i worship your heart” line a lot

[anotherawkwardfan]

spencer saw brennan and luis as evandrin and zerxes in exu calamity and decided not to sit them together bc would have been devastating and you know what? he was RIGHT

if I had seen marion burying his face into sean's chest and sean brushing his thumb along marion's cheek so tenderly i would have fucking DIED

[bloodyshadow1]

i wonder if the path Brennan is laying out for them is to redeem/uncorrupt a bunch of the gods, not just Ankarna. I'm just wondering because we see a quick glimpse of Sol, Helio, and Galicaea and they seem pretty shitty. But whenever the intrepid heroes bring up a conspiracy or something about Sol planning on taking out Ankarna to get her domain over the son all to himself, Brennan corrected them by mentioning something about it was the followers.

Honestly, while it would make sense for the followers to be their god's conduit on earth, in the lore of Spyre, mortals can affect how their gods are. That's why Tracker didn't leave her church, but is trying to do a revival to change how Galicaea is. It would be interesting if Kristen will do the same with Sol while doing the same thing to Ankarna and hopefully Cassandra this season.

I think it would also be a better twist because Bobby Dawn is going to be someone they fight by the end of the season, I'd put money on it. He's probably going to die, but instead of just a my god is better than yours because you're dead, I think it would be more fitting since Kristen's story seems to be about redemption that she redeems the whole family.

Because while killing Bobby Dawn will be satisfying, it wouldn't really change things. He's a preacher for Sol, he has a congregation of people who believe what he preaches. Hell most of Highcourt believes in the worship of Sol and Helio. Someone can change his place and it doesn't matter what Kristen does for Cassandra and Ankarna if in 500 or so years the followers of Sol and Helio try to repeat what was done a 1000 years ago and unmake Ankarna and Cassandra. By doing something similar to a revival and changing their gods it could destroy a lot of the power that the church currently has in 2 nations .

Just something I was thinking about and planting a flag for theory

[utilitycaster]

The narrative of D&D

Fantasy High Junior Year has made its exploration of the tropes, mechanics, and structures of D&D readily apparent, perhaps even more so than the earlier two seasons. This is unsurprising for a show in which the characters are, in-universe, extremely aware of their mechanics and indeed in a high school intended to develop them. And yet, while Brennan Lee Mulligan pokes at these structures, the story still rests squarely within them.

This is not accidental; in longer form narratives (and Fantasy High as an overall story certainly is one, though each individual season exists in a strange no-man's land of campaign length) there is a distinctive pattern to the D&D narrative, one that is outright stated in the player's handbook. D&D is a progressive advancement game; characters grow in power and in sociopolitical import as they level up. They begin, even at level 1, as exceptional people (no commoner stats for them) and are destined by the fact that they are in a D&D game for greatness. There are things D&D supports well; travel, social interaction, one-time skill use, and combat. There are things it does poorly, notably downtime and stories that are not built along the lines of heroic fantasy.

I think this is a value neutral statement, in that I think that trying to avoid playing D&D while playing D&D is a futile exercise; your character will become more powerful while playing it and the only way to avoid gaining this power is to play a different game. I also think that while D&D has the potential to comment on our world from a new perspective, as most speculative fiction does, and is certainly not without flaws, that conversation is one for a later date. The structure exists; like it or not, it exists. There are other games to play that support other stories.

Fantasy High is direct in its engagement: characters are aware of their classes. They learn about the conventions thereof in their high school coursework, and must justify their multiclassing, both with their current level of power in their base class as well as with what they have done (both narrative and mechanical justifications). The antagonists of Junior Year are the Rat Grinders, explicitly commenting on Experience vs. Milestone leveling; several characters provide an eye into such D&D player tropes as min-maxxing and focusing on RP vs only on the game and mechanical elements. The Seven, set in the same world, operates on a similar premise; the party risks being broken up because half are still in high school and they would not survive a split of that level. Adventurers at the Aguefort Academy must adventure, and both the humor and deconstruction come from the juxtaposition of the conventions of D&D with the typical life of a high school student. The characters do level up; they do become more recognizable; they do have to save the world, repeatedly.

A somewhat subtler deconstruction comes in the form of NADDPod's first campaign, or as it was introduced, The Campaign after the Campaign. As envisioned by Brian Murphy (a player in Fantasy High; it is perhaps relevant that the two shows both began production around the same time), the world in which it is set is grappling with the aftermath of the "campaign" of the three legendary heroes Alanis, Thiala, and Ulfgar, who had slain Asmodeus, among other feats. While this ended a war, it set off several crucial events. Most centrally to the story of NADDPod, Thiala, disillusioned with her role as the healer, broke her worship of Pelor and used the heart of Asmodeus to ascend to godhood; she would eventually become the final antagonist of the campaign. However, the death of Asmodeus also set off a power vacuum in Hell. NADDPod's third campaign is set two centuries after the first, and the new legendary heroes (the Band of Boobs of the first campaign) have been dealing with the aftermath of an extraplanar war of the gods; Mothership, the main antagonist, arose in Thiala's wake. This is all typical actions leading to consequences, but the idea that the butterfly that flapped its wings was the resentment of someone having to play the cleric is notable (and is directly contrasted by Emily Axford's Bahumia characters, who openly embrace healing and support casting, breaking Thiala's cycle while cleaning up her mess.) But NADDPod too is heroic fantasy, even with the science fantasy elements present in the second season, and even slots nicely into the PHB tiers.

Critical Role does not, per se, strive to deconstruct in the same way (though Matt Mercer does provide some direct retorts to Forgotten Realms lore, particularly that of drow). But like NADDPod, the consequences of past campaigns influence subsequent ones. Campaign 1 is very easily recognizable as a classic "gain influence and power" story, and while Campaign 2's heroes the Mighty Nein retain a refreshingly low profile throughout the story, it does still progress in a typical way, though in a rather more self-directed manner.

Campaign 3 is interesting, in that it initially deviates from some of the more classic tropes of early D&D, but ultimately succumbs (to its benefit, in my opinion) to the inertia of the heroic fantasy arc. Bells Hells do not work their way up from level 1 or 2 taking on odd jobs; they begin the campaign by joining up with a benevolent patron, and several party members have pre-existing powerful connections. They receive the use of a skyship by episode 22 and level 6 (something even Vox Machina considered having to steal at level 13) and inherit it not long after. And yet: despite this, and a pivotal set piece of the apogee solstice in which a comparatively low level party plays a part among many factions, following a brief split the campaign begins to run on more familiar tracks. For all the early privileges the team enjoyed and the theological debates they engaged in, they ultimately find themselves in a position identical to that of the archetypal Vox Machina: facing an evil wizard who, after a rushed solstice ritual mid-campaign, only partially unsealed a long-imprisoned ancient deity of manipulation and destruction and now wishes to finish the job. One must assume Delilah Briarwood is appreciating the parallels from within Laudna's psyche.

Worlds Beyond Number is a player on the scene to watch out for, especially because Mulligan has shown himself to enjoy playing with these tropes and his players are all immensely knowledgeable and experienced players (and in Aabria Iyengar's case, DMs) themselves. Rather like Bells Hells, two of its three characters are coming in already in storied positions, despite being level 2, and it will be interesting to see if it bucks the trend. I don't think it needs to. I think there's plenty of variety to be had within this subgenre, and I think a quiet pushing at the boundaries is frequently more effective than full-scale subverstion. But should that be the plan, it will take a lot of work; even with immense awareness of the path D&D sets forth it seems DMs - and players - tend to stay on it.

[ledenews]

Bishop Mark Brennan: ‘We Need to Retreat into Ourselves from Time to Time’

The textbook definition for “Ordinary Time” in the Roman Catholic Church is “a time for growth and maturation, (and) a time in which the mystery of Christ is called to penetrate ever more deeply into history until all things are finally caught up in Christ.” In other words, when not celebrating the miracle birth of the Son of The Lord at Christmas, or His passing and resurrection to Heaven during the Easter weekend, the devout are to live the life of Jesus Christ. But these days, while living in today’s American society where hustle and bustle has become the norm, finding the focus can be a difficult task. “For me, this can be as simple as saying a decade of the rosary while sitting in traffic or taking time to pray with my daughter for God’s blessings on the day during the drive to school. Oftentimes, my golf foursome will catch me murmuring in prayer while walking down the fairway,” explained Tim Bishop, communications director of the Diocese of Wheeling-Charleston. “But our faith is more than prayer. Taking time to help a neighbor, deliver food to the less fortunate, or simply speak to someone in a kind way are all ways in which we live our faith.” “Paying it forward” is a popular social media campaign, and so is purchasing meals for first responders, but Bishop reminds Roman Catholics that setting time aside on Sundays for the celebration of Mass offers him a chance for spiritual balance. “Going to Mass on Sunday with my family not only keeps me centered and recharges me for the week ahead,” he said, “but it ensures that my faith is being passed on to my children, which is one of my biggest jobs as a parent. The Most Rev. Mark Brennan, Bishop of the Diocese of Wheeling-Charleston, agrees, and also he stresses the importance of prayer leading up to the season of Advent that begins on Sunday, November 27. How have you stressed the goals of Ordinary Time to members of your statewide congregation? While I haven’t offered specific goals, I have stressed the “ordinary time” is when we live most of our life. We have special seasons in our Church life – Advent, Christmas, Lent and Easter – but they are to help us live our faith in “ordinary time.” So, preaching, in the light of Christ’s victory over sin and death, on the need for faith, prayer, worship, service to those in need helps us live our Christian lives with integrity during the times that are not special. Please explain how you have combatted the excuse about it being a busy world, that everyone is too busy all the time. I encourage people to take some time every day to pray and to be faithful in participating in Sunday Mass with their brothers and sisters in the faith. That may seem a waste of time to people without faith but in fact it helps us center our lives on what is most important: God, love of neighbor, personal integrity. We need to retreat into ourselves from time to time to find God (prayer, meditation) and engage with others in a non-utilitarian way (worship) in order to advance and sort out what things we should be busy about and what things we should not be busy about. St. Joseph's Cathedral is located along Eoff Street in downtown Wheeling. Have you encouraged the Catholics of West Virginia to ‘slow down for the Lord?’ How was that message delivered? In my homilies at parishes, especially Confirmations, and Catholic school Masses, I have encouraged daily prayer and worship, also in some personal conversations. Overall, I think people accept the message. Some just find it hard to break old habits of neglect of their spiritual life. How do you plan to prepare parishioners for late November when the Advent season begins? All Saints Day, All Souls Day (November 1 and 2) and the Sundays immediately leading up to Advent focus on “the last things:” death, judgment, heaven and hell. Those liturgical celebrations prepare the minds of the faithful to share ancient Israel’s hope for a Messiah to set things aright and the joy of knowing that God heard that call. Bishop Mark Brennan was installed on Aug. 22, 2019. Do you feel because the pandemic has eased that this Christmas season will be a little more special than the last two or three? Why or why not? Since more people have been vaccinated, compared to last year and the year before, I hope people feel reasonably safe in returning to Christmas Masses and parish events. I would be disappointed if there was a resurgence of a new variant of the COVID virus but we can only wait and see. Read the full article

[wolfwars]

Kind of a thing to remember, is the dreams from episode 1 of FH live. Brennan can’t 100% determine what each PC will do but I think we can garner a lot from it anyway:

[spoilers for episode 17 of fantasy high live]

Adaine -- the sea, drowning.  -- I think was about her inevitable drag to the prison across the sea/her sister/plus the Leviathan journey to chase her down. Her dream was about the celestial ocean and then also doubles to mean the last oracle who died, signaling how Fallinel was going to literally force her back to replace the oracle but also she was going to cross the Celestial sea too. 

Fig -- crown, glory, power -- becoming an archdevil and ‘king’ of hell! but also of succumbing to the nightmare king that night to put Gortholax in a gem. 

Fabian -- him and his bike falling into a big black void.  -- all about his dad. Brennan wanted to reunite Fabian and Bill at some point in hell, and he most certainly did!

Kristen -- this one is especially tricky because we’re seeing it play out now but also, Ally rolled a Nat 20. So Brennan spelled it out the most for them, versus other PCS. So in Kristen Applebee’s dream she’s overwhelmed by pieces of paper and desperately trying to draw something before she forgets it, like in a manic/prison state. Ally rolls well, so Brennan adds that Kristen has been searching for a god ever since she lost Helio and ‘would like a comforting face to hold onto when dealing with the realm of nightmares’ and I think that’s important. Brennan’s basically saying ‘you are going to get a new god this season’ but that’s not really all there is to it either.

with the nat 20 they got: “as you examine your dream...you were trying to draw a face of a person you don’t know and suddenly you realize the person you don’t know--ever since you transitioned to ‘Yes?’ you’ve been left in this position of doubt which is comfortable to you, because the whole point of your new deity and faith is--that doubt is fundamentally normal. It is good to question things, but however, your inability to draw a face--you realize in that moment, the thing you were trying to draw was a thing of stability and comfort. With a Nat 20, you realize you were trying to draw the face of a god. Or a face of something that you could worship."

We now know there’s even more to it than that. Though... Brennan’s added memory of Kristen going to church with her mother and feeling ‘comfort’ and ‘security’ also links back to this initial dream/nat 20. The ‘mystery’ goddess has her face defaced (scratched out) [*side note: it also is a deeply upsetting portrait to Tracker who werewolves out when she sees her, and I think that’s because she’s a follower of the goddess’ sister Leda--but back to the other stuff--] and Kristen looks directly at it and dies. Which honestly... I don’t think Brennan knew just how hard this dream prophecy would hit! He could have guessed Ally would be curious, but never have just flat-out known Ally would be so madly reckless as to summon a super fucking angry goddess who hates being found lmao. so this is insane. 

Kristen’s dream leaves me with a lot of questions. It’s pretty creepy, but then that Nat 20 insight of ‘you’ll have a new god/dess at some point’ is pretty clutch. Kristen’s gotta swap out gods soon and either she ‘reforms’ the angry, bitter dark ‘mystery’ goddess of the temple (which would be quite a feat with how violent that god has been) or maybe Lida, the goddess sister will come in and protect her from ‘Mystery Goddess’ (who I think is probably the goddess of night.) 

Either way, there’s gotta be somebody new and maybe a domain change as well since Helio’s harvest/life symbolism doesn’t apply here anymore. 

(and Gorgug’s dream was of Ragh bleeding from his eyes while standing over a cliff by the ocean. I think Brennan was just saying the hirelings are in danger too here.) 

[kristenbeeapples]

Okay, guesses for Kristen’s new subclass since Ally all but confirmed it’s happening on the Fireside Chat:

Grave Domain 

Gods of the grave watch over the line between life and death. To these deities, death and the afterlife are a foundational part of the multiverse’s workings. To resist death, or to desecrate the dead’s rest, is an abomination. Deities of the grave include Kelemvor, Wee Jas, the ancestral spirits of the Undying Court, Hades, Anubis, and Osiris. These deities teach their followers to respect the dead and pay them due homage. Followers of these deities seek to put restless spirits to rest, destroy the undead wherever they find them, and ease the suffering of dying creatures. Their magic also allows them to stave off a creature’s death, though they refuse to use such magic to extend a creature’s lifespan beyond its mortal limits. 

Either Death or Grave domain would make sense but I think Grave is more likely since it’s more neutral and about guiding people to the afterlife rather than necromancy/undeath which has negative connotations. Kristen’s died 3 times now (stop it brennan) and has come away from each death experience with a new outlook on religion and faith. Worshipping death, after spending her early years in the life domain, would make total sense, especially since so much of her questioning religion was about the afterlife. The bit about ‘resisting death’ being an abomination might be difficult since she’s done it a bunch, but I think Brennan could probably homebrew a reason to get around it if that’s what they go with.

Cool things that come with this domain: as a reaction you can cancel a critical hit on an ally within 30ft of you, which is super clutch, and can also cast Spare the Dying as a bonus action. Cool!*

(More below the read more!!)

Knowledge Domain

The gods of knowledge – including Oghma, Boccob, Gilean, Aureon, and Thoth – value learning and understanding above all. Some teach that knowledge is to be gathered and shared in libraries and universities, or promote the practical knowledge of craft and invention. Some deities hoard knowledge and keep its secrets to themselves. And some promise their followers that they will gain tremendous power if they unlock the secrets of the multiverse. Followers of these gods study esoteric lore, collect old tomes, delve into the secret places of the earth, and learn all they can. Some gods of knowledge promote the practical knowledge of craft and invention, including smith deities like Gond, Reorx, Onatar, Moradin, Hephaestus, and Goibhniu.

Given Kristen’s whole thing about asking questions, I think this could work! If it turns out the mystery goddess is good (which... I am doubtful lol) the bit about deities that hoard knowledge would tie in really nicely, and I imagine Kristen could persude her to start sharing knowledge more freely and be on a more equal footing with her deity which is what she wants. If Ally is allowed to re-roll one of their lower stats like the others did last ep, they could re-roll intelligence which would fit well with this domain. (Tragically, I don’t really see an outcome where it would make sense for them to re-roll dex.) This is the one I like the least though - I feel like this is maybe mid-freshman year Kristen rather than current Kristen, especially now that she’s gotten rid of her philopsophy students. But who knows!

Cool things that come with this domain: you can use channel divinity to read minds and cast Suggestion!! What the Fuck!! That’s rad, and also would lead to many shenanigans, I’m sure.

Protection Domain

The protection domain is the purview of deities who charge their followers to shield the weak from the strong. The gods’ faithful dwell in villages and towns on the borderlands, where they help bolster defenses and seek out evils to defeat. These gods believe that a strong shield and a suit of armor is the best defense against evil, second only to a stout mace on hand to respond to any attacks in kind. Deities who grant this domain include Helm, Ilmater, Torm, Tyr, Heironeous, St. Cuthbert, Paladine, Dol Dorn, the Silver Flame, Bahamut, Yondalla, Athena, and Odin.

Okay this domain is basically all the Bad Kids, but I think it would especially work for Kristen ‘why do good people suffer?’ ‘I cast Greater Restoration on Riz’ Applebees. Play-wise I think this subclass is a little limited so might not happen but story-wise? Would absolutely be perfect for Kristen. She’s always trying to look after others and having that mechanically validated would be so cool. It would be maintaining the spirit of what Kristen believed her faith to be (helping others) whilst rejecting the shitty parts of it! Good!

Cool things that come with this domain: you can use your channel divinity to bless your ally, so that if they’re attacked in the next minute the attacker takes 2d10 + your wisdom modifier damage. 

Twilight Domain

The Twilight Domain governs the transition and blending of light into darkness. It is a time of rest and comfort, but also the threshold between safety and the unknown. Deities of healing or respite (such as Boldrei, Hestia, Mishakal, or Pelor), bravery or protection (such as Dol Arrah, Hajama, Helm, or Ilmater), travel or transition (such as Fharlanghn, Hermes, the Raven Queen, or the Traveler), or the night and dreams (such as Celestian, Morpheus, Nut, or Selune) might grant their clerics the Twilight Domain. Clerics who server these deities tend to be brave, delving into the dark to hold its dangers at bay and to bring comfort to those lost far from the light. 

I hadn’t thought about this before but I spotted it as I was looking through the domains on the 5e wiki and remembered this was Tracker’s domain. Given that Kristen was talking about wanting to be twin goddesses with the Unnamed Goddess and Tracker, this could work out if it turns out the Unnamed Goddess is good (which again, big if). BUT IF it does happen this is the domain of dreams, which would be such a good counterbalance to the Nightmare King in the final battle and I imagine would make for a lot of really cool imagery/themes. I also just really like the vibes of this domain? Like, Tracker and Kristen as lesbian moon cleric gfs... ideal.

Cool things that come with this domain: Kristen could finally have darkvision lol (with no limit, which is rad!). You also get the Twilight Sanctuary that Tracker can make and an ability called Steps of the Brave which allows advantage on saves against being frightened and the ability to use flying instead of walking speed for one turn. 

Unity Domain

A sense of oneness shines at the heart of healthy communities, whether bound together by friendship, blood, faith, or some other uniting force. The gods of unity deepen such bonds and delight in their strength. Clerics of these gods preside over marriages and other familial bonding customs, but they also nurture the emotional bonds of friendship and camaraderie. Their divine blessings bolster and protect allies in battle through these deep bonds and turn aside malign influences.

Okay, listen, if you follow me you KNOW Power of Friendship Kristen is basically my whole thing, so I might be a little biased, but read that above description and tell me that does not sound like Kristen and her relationship with The Bad Kids to a T.  Kristen loves her friends, they motivate her, she spends all her time in and often out of battle trying to protect them. It would make complete sense for the narrative and would really emphasise the queer found family vibes of D20/The Bad Kids. Don’t ask me to elaborate further because it will be an incoherent mess and I’ve already babbled about this enough times, just Trust Me On This One, y’all. 

Cool things that come with this subclass: you can use channel divinity to share the burden of damage between your allies, so you can decrease the damage on people who are weaker/already hurt and give more to the tanks, which is extremely clutch. Emboldened Bond is basically Bless for two people which is made by creating a bond between them... the cutest!! I love this subclass.

BONUS: Kristen multi-classes into paladin

I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago and then I re-watched the talkback episode of Fantasy High that Ally and Zac were on and was reminded that Kristen was originially conceived as a paladin. (Which is wild to think about now, given how important Kristen’s cleric stuff is.) Anyway, this could work, because it would be a bit of a distance from very intense, direct religious worship that has been harmful to Kristen in the past whilst also allowing her to maintain faith if you get what I mean? She would also be able to more physically protect her friends and be able to do like good amounts of damage. My guess if this happened she would go Oath of Devotion, whilst also switching subclasses to one of the ones I listed above. No idea if that’s possible, no idea if this would be a strategic multiclass, also probably not very likely to happen, just think it would be cool! Paladins are the best class, fight me.

Thanks for reading this whole thing which got WAY out of hand. If any of these turn out to be the right answer, but especially Power of Friendship Kristen, I reserve the right to brag about it forever. Fingers crossed for next week/whenever the finale ends up being!

*All of these subclasses have cool things at higher levels too, I was just picking my fave abilities that Kristen would be able to use at the level they’re all currently at. 

[hookedonapirate]

Summary: What happens when the high school principal’s son falls in love with the pastor’s daughter?

Hiding a relationship is hard, especially since Killian’s girlfriend is seventeen and not allowed to date until she’s thirty, it’s even harder to hide her pregnant belly. Can Killian save his relationship with Emma when her parents find out? Some miracles are worth fighting for no matter what. Especially when there’s a little hope involved and a whole lot of love.

Teen Pregnancy AU

Notes: Check out the lovely banner @itsfabianadocarmo​ made for me here. Thank you so much!

I wasn't going to post this until next week, but I'm so overwhelmed by the feedback and support, I wanted to thank you all by posting this early. There are some things that will go unanswered in this chapter, but I will switch to Emma's POV in the next chapter and cover those things then. The next chapter will also jump ahead a bit so we can move forward with the story.

If you haven't noticed the rating or were wondering about it, this story does include teen smut, including masturbation, so please be prepared for that, or to skip it if you're not comfortable with it. You'll know when it's coming (no pun intended).

Thank you all so much for giving the story a chance and sticking with it so far. I appreciate you more than you know!!!!

Rated: Mature

Catch up: Ch 1 I Ch 2 I Ch 3 I Ch 4

Also available: AO3 l FF.N

Chapter 5

Killian checks his reflection in the mirror for the hundredth time that morning, making sure his hair looks perfect, making sure his tie isn’t crooked. He’s never been to church before so he was worried about being underdressed. The church is casual, but his father always wears a suit and tie, so Killian had done the same.

 “Killian, I’m leaving for church!” his father calls from downstairs. 

 Killian dashes out of his room so fast, he trips over his own feet and almost dives face-first onto the carpet, but catches himself at the door frame and runs downstairs once he recovers his balance. “Wait, I’m coming with you!” he announces as his father heads for the closet and pulls on his leather jacket. He eyes his son suspiciously as Killian reaches the bottom of the staircase, out of breath. 

 “You’re going to church with me?”

 “Aye.” Killian slips his phone into his pocket as he reaches the door, hauling it open. He’s so nervous, he’s sweating under his dress shirt and blazer, so he knows he won’t have to worry about a jacket. “Ruby got the morning off, so she’s meeting me there.”

 His father looks perplexed as he follows Killian into the garage and closes the door behind them, his keys jangling as he retrieves them from his pocket. They head toward his silver Bentley, which always makes Killian’s truck look pathetic in comparison. “And you and Ruby still aren’t a couple?”

 Killian wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “I don’t see her like that. Ruby’s like a sister to me.” It’s true, Ruby’s always been there for him as a friend, and they have this warped love-hate relationship, but he’s never had romantic feelings for her. Plus, she’s more into girls anyway.

 “So the reason you’re suddenly going to church has nothing to do with a certain blonde, who’s the pastor’s daughter, does it? And Ruby isn't tagging along for moral support, is she?”

 Killian’s face flushes as he hops into the passenger side. “Nope.” 

 His father climbs into the driver’s side and starts up the engine. “Uh-huh,” he mutters sarcastically. 

 The reason Killian’s going to church is that he’s not giving up on Emma, but he’s not about to tell his father that. He had argued with his friends until he was blue in the face, assuring them Emma was clear about her decision, but they made sure he would not give up on Emma. They had eventually convinced him into going to church when all he wanted to do was spend the morning in bed, sulking over her.

 ~*~

 The church is packed when they arrive. There are enough people to make Killian feel crowded and claustrophobic, sweat trickling down his back. Now he remembers one reason why he doesn’t go to church, other than adults wanting to chat with him and ask him questions about school and graduation and the future that he’s already answered fifty times that morning.

  The things he’d do for this woman.

 Ruby is sitting next to him on his left side, his father on his right, hunched over the woman on his other side, chatting her up with a charming grin. Killian fights off a smirk. Now he knows why his father attends this church without fail. It looks like he has the same idea Killian does. Like father like son.

 Killian is busy looking around for Emma in the front row of the large sanctuary when he feels a light nudge in his ribs. “Oi, what was that for?” he whispers, turning his head to scowl at Ruby. 

 She nods her head toward the stage and Killian follows her gaze to see Mr. Nolan, ceding to the choir as everyone stands from their pews. As a pianist plays in the corner and the choir begins the first hymn, Killian’s eyes are drawn to the gorgeous blonde standing in the front, wearing a wrap-around royal blue dress, her long golden hair cascading around her shoulders. 

 It’s Emma. 

 The musical arrangement is boring enough to put him to sleep, but a few minutes into the song, Emma sings solo and her voice fills the sanctuary through the microphone. It’s the most beautiful voice he’s ever heard in his life; she energizes the crowd with her words and her voice, and everyone’s raising their hands in worship and singing along.

 He’s completely captivated by her, and he swears for just a second her eyes lock with his and her breath catches in her throat.

 The pastor begins droning on again, but Killian is too busy watching Emma to listen to the sermon. She’s busy watching him too, their eyes connecting several times as she sits with the choir on stage.

 They sing a few more times before the service ends, and each time Emma rises, Killian is enchanted by her voice and finds himself worshipping God too—something he never thought he’d do. But love is a funny thing. It makes you do things you never dreamt of doing.

 Afterward, his father drags him over to the pastor and is forced into an awkward conversation with Mr. Nolan that he’s been dreading all morning as his father’s eyes wander over to the woman he sat next to and watches her leave. 

 “Killian, you made it. I’m glad you decided to join us,” David says, shaking Killian’s hand. 

 “Me too,” Mary Margaret chimes, wrapping Killian up in a hug.

 Thankfully, David legitimately seems happy to see him and doesn’t mention the conversation they had the other night. In fact, he’s being extremely nice to Killian, which makes him suspicious. But maybe it’s because his wife is there or because Emma hasn’t attempted to go near Killian, and instead has disappeared from the sanctuary. Or maybe it's because they're at church and he wants to remain professional and levelheaded in front of all the churchgoers who look to him for advice and spiritual wisdom.

 Brennan and the Nolans are engaged in boring conversation as Killian surreptitiously leaves and joins Ruby outside the sanctuary where people visit with each other while exchanging baked goods and gossip. 

 “She went upstairs,” Ruby mutters through a mouth full of blueberry muffin. She waves her head toward the staircase. “Go. I’ll be on the lookout for her father.”

 Killian whispers a thank you in her ear as he passes.

 She grins, licking muffin crumbs from her lips. “You’re welcome.”

 Killian casually heads upstairs, drawing no attention as he searches around for Emma. The second floor is empty, so he makes his way toward the ladies’ room, and quietly knocks, hoping she’s in there and that she’s the only one. 

 When the door opens and Emma pokes her head out, a wave of relief washes over him. Her eyes widen in surprise when she sees him. “Killian, what are you doing?” she whispers. “My father will catch us together.”

 “Can I come in, then? I just wanna talk, Emma.” His voice cracks and he swallows thickly, breathing out a shallow, “Please.” 

 Emma pokes her head out further and looks around to make sure there’s no one else around to see them. “Did anyone see you come up here?”

 Killian shakes his head. “No.”

 She steps back, opening the door to let him in. He sighs softly as Emma closes and locks it before turning around, crossing her arms. “What do you want, Killian?” she demands, her voice almost low enough to be a whisper.

 “I told you, Emma, I want you,” he answers quickly, his eyes locked with hers. “Ever since you walked into my life, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.” He can hear his words giving out under the weight of emotions he feels, but he doesn’t care. He needs to say this. “You're always in my head. My thoughts, my dreams,” he confesses, tearing down those walls of fear that surround him. “When I close my eyes, you’re all I see. When I open them, you’re all I see, even when you’re not really there. When I heard you singing on stage, you sounded so amazing and I know all I’m gonna hear now is your beautiful voice in my head.” I’m in love with you, Emma, he wants to say, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to scare her off, but his heart has clawed its way out of his chest much sooner than he’d preferred. “So, tell me, Emma, how am I supposed to just forget about you and walk away after one conversation with your father?” he asks, taking a step toward her, inhaling a shaky breath, inhaling her sweet, intoxicating perfume. “If you think an idle threat is all it takes to keep me away from you, then you’re wrong. So, I'm asking you again, will you go out with me?”

 An insufferable silence fills the restroom, and she’s wide-eyed and speechless, unable to respond. But he needs her to respond. He needs to know what she's thinking. More than he needs oxygen to breathe.

 She surges forward and grabs hold of his tie, their lips colliding so forceful, he almost stumbles backward. Instead, he growls and grabs her hips, lunging forward until her back hits the sink. He’s hit with relief and happiness and hope as she kisses the hell out of him without any sign of remorse. He loves how her lips feel against his, so soft and pliant, and wonders what her mouth tastes like. He slides his tongue across the seam of her lips, asking for entrance, and she parts her lips in silent invitation, their tongues frantically finding each other. He groans in her mouth and she eagerly swallows the sound, her hands moving to his face and cupping his cheeks. He slides a hand through her golden locks, itching to feel how soft her hair is, as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Her hair is so soft and silky and he loves how it feels on his fingertips. 

 He never wants to stop kissing her; she tastes so sweet and heavenly, like hot cocoa and cinnamon and everything he never knew he wanted or needed until now. He savors her flavor every time their tongues connect, their bodies fusing into one as they move in sync, enchanted by one another. He feels everything you’re supposed to feel when you kiss the right person. He feels sparks and sees fireworks, he feels dizzy, his mind is cloudy, and it feels like he’s enveloped in the finest piece of velvet, floating above the clouds. It feels like the ground has opened up, like the entire world has vanished and all that’s left is them. He’s caressing her cheek gently, affectionately as their tongues twist around one another, tasting and probing. The kiss is fierce, yet so good and pure it awakens a possessiveness he didn’t even know he had in him. 

 He scoops her up in his arms and lifts her up on the edge of the sink, never breaking the kiss as she spreads her legs for him and he gets comfortable in the cradle of her thighs. Heat surges through him and she helps him shove off his blazer, lest he burst into flames. Once the jacket is off and hits the floor, his arms instantly wrap around her and his chest is pressed to her breasts as she curls her arms around the back of his neck. Everything feels so right and perfect, yet so wrong at the same time. 

 They finally pull apart, uneven breaths dancing with each other, keeping them connected as she leans her forehead against his, adoration plastered all over her angelic features. “Killian, did you really used to go to church?” she asks in a shattered whisper.

 His lips twist into a smirk as he nuzzles her nose with his. “Never stepped foot into a church until today,” he answers, his words completely wrecked as his thumb strokes her cheek. “How did you guess?”

 Emma manages a strangled laugh. “You’re not a very good liar. And neither am I.” Her features grow serious as she licks her lips. “This will not end well for us, you know that right? My mother always says lying is useless, the truth always comes out. But that might be because she's incapable of keeping a secret,” she adds playfully.

 He shrugs rather weakly, his entire body feeling the aftermath of their kiss. Once her tongue had connected with his, once he had a taste of her, all bets were off. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. If you’ll take it with me?”

 Emma nods, a smile creeping over her lips. “Yes. And yes, I'll go out with you… if my answer wasn’t obvious when I kissed you.”

 Killian chuckles. “I figured as much.” He captures her lips again and kisses her deeply, his tongue plunging into her mouth, hands roaming her back, pressing her closer to him. A moan slips past her lips when his groin rubs against her panties, and he almost loses himself. Her moan is the most exquisite thing he’s ever heard, her body is the most lovely thing he’s ever held in his arms and her mouth is the most heavenly thing he’s ever tasted. He has to slow down and take deep breaths as they kiss. He has to control himself around her; he doesn’t want to fuck this up. So he just kisses her slowly. He kisses her until their lips are numb and swollen, until there’s no air left in their lungs, or rather until there’s a knock on the door, pulling them back down to reality. 

 “Crap,” she whispers as they reluctantly break apart. 

 He helps her down from the sink and they frantically work to straighten their hair and clothing, but when he glances at Emma, her face is all flushed and her lips are rosy red and swollen. Whoever’s on the other side of the door will know they’ve been making out.

 “Guys, I know you’re in there. It’s just me.” The sound of Ruby’s voice through the door makes them sigh in relief. 

 Emma straightens her hair some more as she sluggishly walks to the door and cautiously pulls it open. Killian hides behind her, looking over her shoulder.

 Ruby smirks when she sees the two of them, both completely wrecked and disheveled, before her eyes fall back to Emma. “I just wanted to let you know that your Dad’s looking for you. I told him you went to the restroom, but that was ten minutes ago.” She looks at Killian. “And I told your father you got bored, so you went for a walk.”

 “Thanks, Rubes,” he says with an appreciative smile.

 “No problem.” She grins from ear to ear, glancing between them. “So I take it you two made up?”

 They both smile and blush, answering her question before they even say anything. Killian wraps his hand around Emma’s hip and kisses her cheek. “Is it that obvious?”

 “As obvious as that ridiculous grin on your face,” she teases. She’s not helping with the blush in his cheeks. “Come on, Em, you should go downstairs before your dad comes up here searching for you.”

 “Okay, we’ll be out in a minute,” Emma says.

 “Okay, I’ll keep watch.”

 “Thanks.”

 “No problem,” Ruby says with a wink.

 As Emma closes and locks the door, Killian looks down at himself and realizes he can’t leave just yet. “Emma, you should go first. I need a few minutes to… regroup.”

 “After that kiss, I need some time to regroup too,” she laughs. 

 He clears his throat and scratches behind his ear. “Aye, but for me, it’s a little more obvious.”

 She turns around and lifts a brow, eyeing him in confusion. “What do you mean? You look fine,” she reassures him, lifting her hands to straighten his tie. The way her warm breath fans his skin as she adjusts his tie and runs her hand down his chest does not help his situation in the least. She doesn’t understand what he means though, and he doesn’t know how to explain himself without being blunt.

 “I have a hard-on, love,” he blurts out and watches as her eyes widen, her mouth parting slightly. 

 She peers down between them and sees the prominent bulge poking against his slacks, trying to break free. “Oh,” she replies, her voice unusually high-pitched as she lifts her eyes. She shakes her head and removes her hands from his chest. She blushes in embarrassment from not being able to figure out what he’d meant. “Of course. Sorry… I’ll just… I’ll leave.”

 “I’m the one who should be sorry.” He flashes a bashful smile. “I got a little too excited while we were kissing.”

 The smirk she offers him is so adorable, he wants to kiss her again, but he knows she has to go so they don’t get caught together. “I noticed, I guess I didn’t realize how excited you were,” she laughs.

 “It’s okay,” he chuckles, lifting a hand to stroke her cheek. “Can I see you tomorrow before school?”

 Emma nods and kisses him chastely on the lips. “Yeah, I’ll think of an excuse to leave early,” she says before pulling away. 

 He doesn’t want to let her go, and he feels the loss once she’s no longer in his reach. “Okay, I’ll text you when I get there and wait for you in the parking lot.”

 “Okay. Bye, Killian.” She smiles back at him as she opens the door.

 “Bye, love.”

 She closes the door behind her and Killian turns around leaning against it, taking shallow breaths. His heart is pounding and he’s still unbearably hard. He tries to think of other things, like baseball and airplanes and how Emma’s father might murder him if he finds out Killian was making out with his daughter in the church restroom. But he can’t get Emma out of his head. The way she tastes, the way she felt in his arms, the softness of her lips. The softness of her touch. He’s completely enraptured by her and his lips still tingle from their kiss. 

 He looks down and curses himself. He’s still hard. 

 He turns around and locks the door before undoing his pants, knowing he won’t be able to settle down without taking matters into his own hands. He reaches into his pants and drags out his erection, taking himself in his hand, desire pounding through his veins. He feels instant relief as he pulls at the skin and strokes himself up and down, a groan tumbling from his lips as he tips his head back against the door and closes his eyes. This isn’t the first time he’s touched himself thinking of Emma. The first day he met her he had to relieve the tension he felt from that day. At least then he'd waited until he was in bed that night. He’s jerked himself off before, he’s a horny seventeen-year-old virgin, but he’s never jerked himself off while having an object of his desire to help push him over the edge. Tightening his grip, he swipes his thumb over the stickiness gathering at his tip.

 He imagines being with Emma, flesh against flesh, bodies writhing and thrusting as they make love, her legs wrapped around him, their hands linked, fingers entwined. When he pictures Emma in his mind as they both give themselves to each other, he imagines her long golden hair spread around her, vivid green eyes twinkling in the darkness as her mouth falls open in pleasure. But not all of his thoughts about her are dirty. He sees beauty and light and intelligence when he thinks of her, he sees perfection in her smile and the kind of person she is. He sees a woman he wants to get to know and spend the rest of his life with; he sees someone he wants to give the world to. 

 “Emma,” he murmurs softly as the pleasure builds. He’s biting his bottom lip and increasing the speed of his hand, wondering what she’d feel like around him, wondering how tight and warm she’d feel. His heart is pounding and heat is swirling through him so fast it makes him dizzy. 

 After that mindblowing kiss, it doesn’t take long for him to reach his peak, and when he feels the familiar sensations and heat pulsating through him, he makes a dash for the sink and points the velvety tip away from him. He strokes himself fiercely, until pure bliss consumes him, until his muscles convulse, guttural groans crawling from his throat, until thick, warm cum is spurting out onto his hand and into the sink. He pumps out a few more streams of the white stickiness into the drain, his breaths labored as he tries to gather his wits. By the time he empties every ounce of release, his entire body is spent, his legs like rubber as he slumps and grips onto the sink for balance. He lets his eyes fall shut for a few minutes, lets his mind clear of fog.

 When he’s able to find some sort of semblance and move his muscles again, he opens his eyes, retrieves some paper towels from the small wicker basket on the counter and cleans himself up.

 “Fuck,” he whispers, his voice hoarse, his body still trembling from his orgasm. 

 He tosses the paper towel in the trashcan and tucks himself back into his pants before washing his hands. He splashes his face with some cool water, dries his hands and grabs his blazer from the floor, trying to process what he’s done before he leaves the restroom and has to explain to Ruby why he’s been in here by himself for so long.

 He just jerked off in a church restroom thinking about the pastor’s daughter. The pastor’s daughter . Who he’s supposed to stay away from, and yet she’s the only reason why he showed up to church in the first place. 

  He’s so going to hell for this.

Tagging some people who have either shown interest or asked to be tagged.

@teamhook @onceuponaprincessworld @itsfabianadocarmo​ @followbatb @natzombeez@resident-of-storybrooke @kmomof4 @artistic-writer @ilovemesomekillianjones @jamif @darkcolinodonorgasm @nikkiemms @carpedzem @ashley-knightingale @tiganasummertree @ultraluckycatnd @its-about-bloody-time-cs @maquita @mariakov81 @bugheadswanjones @searchingwardrobes @andiirivera @melly326 @squidvisious @snow-into-ash @snowbellewells @kingofmyheart14 @biefaless @superchocovian @willow154​  

I’m probably missing some people, so let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.

[woodworkingpastor]

Not a fan -- Galatians 3:1-9, 23-29 -- May 16, 2021 -- Seventh Sunday of Easter

One of my favorite episodes of The Twilight Zone is the season four episode “Jess-Belle.” The main reason I enjoy it is because it stars James Best—many of you will remember him for his more famous role as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane on The Dukes of Hazzard. But the episode has some other endearing qualities as well.

The plot focuses on the upcoming marriage of Best’s character, Billy-Ben Turner, to a young woman named Ellwyn Glover. The conflict comes as Billy-Ben’s ex-girlfriend Jess-Belle plots to sabotage the wedding and win Billy-Ben back. Jess-Belle visits a local witch named Granny Hart, who casts a spell that bewitches Billy-Ben, causing him to forget Ellwyn and fall madly in love with Jess-Belle.

This is exactly what happens at a square dance thrown in honor of Billy-Ben and Ellwyn: Jess-Belle shows up and locks eyes with Billy-Ben who immediately forgets everything and dances off into the night with Jess-Belle, leaving Ellwyn and everyone else in utter disbelief about his behavior. But Billy-Ben can’t help himself; he has been bewitched, pulled away into a one relationship that makes the other relationship impossible. It’s a situation where compromise is not possible.

The situation of Galatians 3

Paul’s purpose in writing to the churches of Galatia is to correct false teaching that has brought confusion into the churches. The reason the conflict is so significant is because it is a salvation issue: a false belief that calls into question how people are reconciled to God has been introduced into the churches. As I think back on disagreements I’ve encountered in ministry, very few (if any) have been of this type. That’s not to say they’ve been unimportant or that they shouldn’t be handled with great care. But sometimes we draw lines in the sand over issues that are really more about personal preferences on matters where there are several legitimate choices; or we get into arguments that are driven as much by the personality of the people involved as they are the issue; or we have trouble reconciling matters because we’re impatient, or we’re not willing to yield to one another.

But this is not the issue in Galatia, and the significance of the matter explains the very strong words Paul choses in verses 1 and 3:

You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?...Are you so foolish?

Eugene Peterson translates the passage this way:

You crazy Galatians! Did someone put a hex on you? Have you taken leave of your senses? Something crazy has happened, for it’s obvious that you no longer have the crucified Jesus in clear focus in your lives. His sacrifice on the cross was certainly set before you clearly enough.

Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God’s Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what has begun by God (Galatians 3:1-3, The Message).

Honestly, Paul’s words here read more like the kind of response you find on a Facebook post than in a sermon or Bible study—except here it is in the Bible. Paul’s urgency and intensity has to do with his commitment to the Gospel and his great love for these congregations.

As we have moved from Acts 15 into Galatians over these last several Sundays, we keep bumping into the struggle that the churches had over the role the Jewish tradition would play in their understanding of faith. It is simply the issue that the church of this generation had to work out. What is distant from our thinking is that there were two components to the Jewish religious tradition: a ceremonial aspect and a moral aspect.

The moral laws represented how the character of God would be displayed in their lives. One way that we honor God in our daily lives is through our behavior coming to reflect God’s character; we begin doing the kinds of things Jesus would do if he were in our place. This explains the reason why, for instance, Christians value life and have always been moved to alleviate suffering. I believe it’s why we should be concerned about the environment, because the earth is the Lord’s. It’s why we do things like offer forgiveness when others mistreat us.

These things are easy to talk about in general; they can be quite costly in practice. I heard a podcast recently where a now middle-aged man shared a painful story from his youth. One day when he was a young teenager, he and some of his friends were acting irresponsibly, and this man’s actions led directly to the death of his best friend. In working with the justice system, the friend’s parents declined to press charges. Their belief was that their son’s death was a tragic accident caused by young boys being stupid, and that one ruined life was enough. They did not believe that any good would come by inflicting that on another; mercy was more important than punishment. It was a remarkable story of forgiveness.

It is through this kind of living—where our behavior reflects God’s character—that people who do not know Jesus might begin to follow. Or, as Brennan Manning describes it from the opposite direction:

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

Manning laments a loss of discipleship in churches that allows for a disconnect to exist between belief and behavior.

But this wasn’t exactly the issue the Galatian Christians faced. They were largely struggling with the ceremonial laws found in the Jewish faith; the kinds of things that Jesus transgressed all the time, like when he healed people on the Sabbath or when the disciples walked through grainfields and ate some of the grain, or when Jesus stopped by a well and asked a woman for a drink of water. What people in Galatia were in danger of getting wrong was thinking that adding these ceremonial laws to our lives is necessary for us to be good Christians. Practices that were supposed to be reminders of what we believe and ceremonies designed to shape our faith had become rigid rules to follow.

I have found that as someone grows in their love for Jesus then their desire to participate in the worship services and ceremonies of the church grows right along with it.

How natural it is for people who significantly understand our faith as being shaped by the Scripture to give Bibles to our young people, as we did today.

For people who understand how much our relationship with God is shaped by our having been forgiven and are serious about growing closer to Jesus by practicing forgiveness, then it makes so much sense to be drawn to Love Feast and to communion. Many of us value that worship service because of the tradition, but I want to encourage you to expand your thinking on that. If anyone understands how badly broken our relationships with God have really become, it ought to be Brethren. We don’t just practice the bread and cup, we practice spiritual examination to make sure we are right with God and one another, then we practice humility by washing feet.

When we are thinking correctly, we understand that the ceremonies do not save us, but they do shape us. John Chrysostom was a fourth century church leader who described the connection between ceremonies and faith in this way:

When [a ceremonial ordinance] is understood it produces spiritual joy and is celebrated gladly and in due season. It is read and treated only with a spiritual sweetness. Now every sacrament, once understood in this way, is applied either to the contemplation of truth or to good morals. The contemplation of truth is founded in the love of God alone, good morals in the love of God and the neighbor, and on these two precepts depend the whole Law and the Prophets.

This is what the Galatians were risking getting wrong, and it is why Paul is so angry. In a way, they were like Billy-Ben Turner in The Twilight Zone who had a magnificent relationship with his fiancée and the admiration and joy of his community for the love he shared with Ellwyn, but who instead became bewitched by an old, dead-end relationship that was lesser in so many ways. Some in Galatia wanted to take all of the Old Testament laws from Leviticus and hand them to new Christians after they had become baptized and say, “Here. You must do these things, too.”

The reason it is important to understand a proper relationship with Jesus is because it is the only path to what the church is to become, as described in Galatians 3:27-28:

As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.

When a church lives out a correct understanding of salvation, the inevitable result is becoming the church where distinctions that society places on us disappear. It’s not that we become blind; the Galatians would still know who was a Jew and was Greek; who was a slave and who was free; who was male and who was female. But they could begin valuing people and their gifts based on what Jesus had done in their lives, not on what their culture told them to think. They would be a visible demonstration of the Kingdom of God.

Can you imagine how different our world would be today if we had figured out “neither slave nor free” 400 years ago? Consider that in 1667 the Virginia General Assembly decided

It is enacted and declared by this Grand Assembly, and the authority thereof, that the conferring of baptism does not alter the condition of the person as to his bondage or freedom (Tisby, 25).

This was an important law because in England the tradition was that baptism did confer freedom.

Or what if we had affirmed the equality of women? I’m thankful that the Williamson Road Church of the Brethren asked the question that enabled the Annual Conference in 1958 to enable women’s ordination. This meant that women could take their place alongside women preachers in the New Testament like Junia and Priscilla and Tryphaena and Tryphosa and Phoebe and other women who were prominent leaders in the New Testament church.

Applying this to our own time

These verses in Galatians 3 are yet one more reminder of how God is always moving toward the reconciliation of all things, and how the ceremonial laws and worship traditions of our faith are means to the ends, not the ends themselves.

Something that will both challenge and bless us is that following Jesus in this way will cause us to move toward people and honor people that we otherwise might not; it will also require us to get out of the way and allow others to shine.

The good news is that the bewitching spell can be broken, sisters and brothers. Billy-Ben Turner wasn’t forever a prisoner to Jess-Belle’s spell. It was eventually broken and he and Ellwyn were married, as it should be. Our obedience to Jesus will make us “heirs according to the promise” of God.

[johnnie72]

Rumblings. 7.14.17

Rumblings. 7.14.17 1.Life is most often lived in ‘improv’ mode.I observe the ‘scripted’ moments of a person's life but pay much closer attention to how someone lives ‘in the moment’ when the script has to be thrown out. That's when a person's real character and intentions are revealed. In those moments I look for class not crass. Thoughtfulness not impetuousness. Humility not bombast. Compassion not disinterest. Confession not self-righteousness. Quick to listen not quick to anger. Restraint not impulsivity. 2.One of the most fundamental statements of Christian faith is this: your life is not about you. This is not your project. Rather, you are part of God's great design. To believe this in your bones and to act accordingly is to have faith. When we operate out of this transformed vision, amazing things can happen, for we have surrendered to "a power already at work in us that can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine. ~ Bishop Robert Barron 3.”Living out of the false self creates a compulsive desire to present a perfect image to the public so that everybody will admire us and nobody will know us." Brennan Manning Richard Rohr in ‘Falling Upward’ (great read, by the way) talks about meeting with Desmond Tutu who said, “We are only the lightbulbs and our job is to stay screwed in.” I’m not sure what that means to you but it's a wake up call for me. Rohr has also said that “If you want others to be more loving, choose to love first. If you want a reconciled outer world, reconcile your own inner world. If you are a merciful, forgiving person, then I know you’ve met the real God. If you are narrow, stingy, and fearful, then you are worshiping something that is not God, probably some form of yourself.” 4.I love the people who, in the seemingly rudderless times we live in, look to discover ‘where God is at work’ and join Him there. Their anxiety turns to action. And in the ‘acting’ they find meaning and the scattered pieces of themselves find each other and he/she becomes ‘whole’ again. 5.What a difference a year makes. We’ve gone from “When they go low, we go high” to “When they go low, we go lower.” 6. Have you ever tried to hold a beach ball under the water? It doesn't work very well does it? The beach ball looks for escape. It was built to be on top of the water. The same principle applies when we try to hold the yucky parts of ourselves underwater and unseen. It works for awhile. But eventually we tire and the yucky stuff escapes and pops to the surface. You can't hide the ‘ugly’ for long. It's best to deal with it. And then the best parts of ourselves can emerge again. 7. More than a few Christ followers I know have run as fast and far as they can from the label ‘evangelical’. I get it. I find the label to be more off putting than helpful these days. The word has been politicized and taken hostage by religious types who should know better and now there’s too much baggage attached to it. Too bad. It's a descriptor that's ripe with good meaning. 8.I was chatting with some folks who lean to the left the other day. They yearn for the return of the thoughtful and compassionate conservative. They want that check and balance to their thinking. And yes, I know. Some lean to the right types are searching for the thoughtful and compassionate progressive. So, maybe that's the prayer huh? Let's ask God to bring into our lives thoughtful and compassionate people who, despite their political leanings, will help us think and pray more effectively. Who knows what could happen as a result? They're out there. They might be hiding but they’re out there. And there's common ground to be found. 9.What ails us as a country can’t be fixed with a slogan on a hat, an insult, an evasive tactic, clever spins, or an early morning tweet. What’s required will be a long, slow obedience in the direction of shared sacrifice, mutual respect and noble purpose. And in all honesty I'm not convinced most of us want that. But I bet there's enough of us who do. It will have to bubble up from the bottom. The leadership necessary to lead the charge from the top (in so many arenas) doesn't appear exist at the present time. 10. When you learn to ask the right questions you begin to live. The search for the answers breathes life into your tired soul. Meaning is found in the journey. No questions? No life. 11.Bonus rumble. For the past 12 years I have been married to an incredible woman @AnitaLustrea. Words fail me in trying to describe the joy I have experienced walking the road with her. She is smart, quick to smile, observant, a great listener and has phenomenal patience (those who know me well can testify she needs this). I'm signing on for another 12. :) Anita, you are the best.

[woodworkingpastor]

On Eagle’s Wings Exodus 19:3-7; 20:1-17 October 7, 2018

Opening Prayer

            © 2018 Thom Shuman, www.lectionaryliturgies.com (adapted)

Saving God, you saw your children as slaves in Egypt, and brought them to freedom; you see creation held captive by our desire for more and more, and you weep; and so you pour out your foolish love on us from day to day.

All that we have learned and think we know has not brought meaning to our lives; the brokenness of our world needs your peace; our pain-shattered hearts need your healing: and so you speak to us through your Servant, Jesus.

All the broken of our world long for your wholeness; all who hunger for hope long for the sweetness of your grace and joy; and so you fill us with the Wisdom of your Spirit.

Be present with us in our worship this morning; enable us to respond to your grace with boldness, courage, and creativity. Amen.

Philip Yancey often talks about the faith he was taught as a young boy, a faith that was heavily focused on rules and religious pecking orders.  He describes this by saying “At the top [of the list of sins] was smoking and drinking. Movies ranked just below these vices, with many church members refusing even to attend The Sound of Music. Rock music, then in its infancy, was likewise regarded as an abomination, quite possibly demonic in origin.

Other proscriptions—wearing makeup and jewelry, reading the Sunday paper, playing or watching sports on Sunday, mixed swimming, skirt length for girls, hair length for boys—were heeded or not heeded depending on a person’s level of spirituality. I grew up with the strong impression that a person became spiritual by attending to these gray-area rules. For the life of me, I could not figure out much difference between law and grace” (What’s so amazing about grace, 30).

He goes on to quote Mark Twain, who sometimes described people who were “good in the worst sense of the word.”  Yancey talks about conversations with strangers where he asks them to describe Christians. In all his years of asking people about this, never once has he heard someone say “people who are filled with grace.”

Stop and think about that for a minute.  How could this be?  For all of the hospitals and orphanages and leprosariums and disaster response and (in Roanoke) teacher’s aides and backpack meals that basic Christian compassion have been responsible for, how is it that Christians are better known for judgment and rules than about grace?

Our Scripture texts today remind us of the balance between law and grace; these texts come out of God’s particular involvement with people. Moses is on the mountain with God so that the relationship between God and the Hebrew people can be made official, if you will.  Our Bible reading for last week brought us through the description of what came before.  And among the stories of Moses’ call and all of the plagues and the ultimate escape from Egypt, maybe you noticed the constant refrain that the people were brought into the wilderness to worship God. We might think the point of this was to sacrifice a lot of animals, or spend time singing, or sharing litanies, or praying. Fundamentally, worship is more than this.  Worship is a public declaration of what we believe has ultimate importance. Worship is not only about the songs we sing and the words we say; these are a means to an end. Worship is about relationship and commitment, call and response, sacrifice and blessing.

Which makes it fascinating to me that the compilers of the Narrative Lectionary had the wisdom to pair these two passages, Exodus 19 and 20. How many times in recent years has there been some kind of public controversy over the display of the 10 Commandments in public places?  In terms of our relationship with God, what happens in Exodus 19 is more important than the 10 Commandments of Exodus 20, because Exodus 19 tells us that what ought to be on display in public is our transformed lives.

God establishes a relationship with these people based on three significant points:

The first is an act of grace:  I bore you on eagles’ wings.  When God found the people, they were fundamentally broken. If you keep that in mind as you read about their travels described in Exodus, their whining and complaining and rebelling starts to make sense.  A friend of mine adopted a child out of foster care; this child is a testament to how quickly parental dysfunction can damage a child.  This young boy has numerous behavior issues based on the things that happened to him in the womb, and in the first six to nine months of his life.  He continually acts out of this brokenness.  Every parental response that my friends take toward their child is an act of grace.  It’s hard work.  But it is grace.

The thing we are inclined to forget is that this is how we came to faith: not as whole people, but as broken people.  We like to think we can pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, but it is a lie.  We are each broken people, and our brokenness impacts our relationships with one another in so many ways. We try to hold it all together and put on a good show and hide our brokenness behind a mask, or a neatly manicured lawn and brightly painted front door. Being exposed is the worst thing that could happen to us.

In times when our brokenness gets in the way of our grace, I wish we viewed the church in the same way that sick persons viewed a trip to the doctor’s office: that the church would be the first place we turn to find forgiveness and acceptance.

Of course, it turns out that sometimes people will choose to be sick because it seems better than what they fear will happen if they go to the doctor.  Some of you know Emily Shonk Edwards.  She’s a medical doctor, and I asked her this week about the reasons people give for not coming to the doctor when they know something is wrong.  Here’s what she said:

Don’t have health insurance.

Work in jobs where they don’t have time off to take for appointments.

The doctor won’t listen to me.

Too busy taking care of other people.

Want to believe that they are healthy and the doctor will discover they are not.

Afraid that they will be given bad news.

Afraid of being sent to the hospital.

Afraid that their independence will be compromised.

It’s interesting to notice how many of these reflect on the fact that a cruelty of being broken is that we become fearful of the thing that can bring healing.  But this need not be an obstacle in our relationship with God. Our brokenness is not the defining issue.

There second are some expectations in this relationship. If you obey my voice… Grace is the foundation of this relationship.  Law would come, because in our brokenness we need some boundaries.  The 10 commandments are important, they’re just not the only important thing. No one thinks it’s cruel to tell a young child to keep some distance from a fireplace or the street in front of their house.  Boundaries give us more freedom than we often admit.

This expectation would prove to be a huge problem for the people. By the time we’ve read through to the end of the Old Testament and heard the words of the prophets (which we’ll get to later this Fall) we will see that the prophetic critique of the people was that they had not stayed within the boundaries; they had not extended to others the same grace that God had extended to them.

In the Old Testament we see the seriousness of this described in “blessings and curses” passages, like one we see in Exodus 20:4-6:

“You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.”

It is interesting to note how quickly we see the harshness of God in the passages about judgement.  Some rabbis did the math on this verse, noting that while God’s punishment might extend to the fourth generation, God’s love would extend to the thousandth generation.  They calculated that God’s love was 250x stronger than God’s anger.  

Who of us could say that about ourselves?  I wonder how many times I’ve heard some express—either in fear or in jest—that God would zap them with a lightening bolt for a misdeed? I feel certain I’ve heard that more frequently than God would pursue them and love them so much they’d never want to leave again.

But if all this isn’t enough, we come to the third point: You shall be for me a priestly kingdom and a holy nation.

Grace and law; acceptance and boundaries have a purpose.  Think about this. These people will be a priestly kingdom—it means they will be for other people what God was for them—the means to a right relationship with God.  That’s a big idea.  Let that sink in for a bit.  Think about when this story fits on a timeline: it was the third new moon after they left Egypt.  Three months ago. Think about what you were doing on July 7 and how much (or probably how little) has changed in your life since then. Three months was all it took for God to say to them: “You will be the people through whom I will bless the world.”  Think about who they are. Think about how little they know about God.   People attend church for years and don’t feel they are capable of serving God.  Clearly, our abilities aren’t what God is interested in. Our availability is what matters, because this isn’t a relationship based solely on how we perform; it is a relationship based on grace.

We don’t need to live in fear of God or fear of our past or fear of what we can’t do.  We just need to come.

In his book The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning includes a story of former New York City mayor Fiorello LaGuardia.  Odds are that this story is not true. But the story remains instructive as an illustration of grace:

In the middle of the Great Depression, New York City mayor Fiorello LaGuardia strived to live with the people. It was not unusual for him to ride with the firefighters, raid with the police, or take field trips with orphans. On a bitterly cold night in January of 1935, the mayor turned up at a night court that served the poorest ward of the city. LaGuardia dismissed the judge for the evening and took over the bench himself. Within a few minutes, a tattered old woman was brought before him, charged with stealing a loaf of bread. She told the mayor that her daughter’s husband had left, her daughter was sick, and her two grandchildren were starving. However, the shopkeeper, from whom the bread was stolen, refused to drop the charges. “It’s a real bad neighborhood, your Honor,” the man told the mayor. “She’s got to be punished to teach other people around here a lesson.”

LaGuardia sighed. He turned to the woman and said, “I’ve got to punish you. The law makes no exceptions. Ten dollars or ten days in jail.” But even as he pronounced sentence, the mayor was already reaching into his pocket. He extracted a bill and tossed it into his famous hat, saying, “Here is the ten dollar fine which I now remit; and furthermore I am going to fine everyone in this courtroom fifty cents for living in a town where a person has to steal bread so that her grandchildren can eat. Mr. Baliff, collect the fines and give them to the defendant.”

The following day, New York City newspapers reported that $47.50 was turned over to a bewildered woman who had stolen a loaf of bread to feed her starving grandchildren. Fifty cents of that amount was contributed by the grocery store owner himself, while some seventy petty criminals, people with traffic violations, and New York City policemen, each of whom had just paid fifty cents for the privilege of doing so, gave the mayor a standing ovation.