#i think the only thing i need that i don't have is a rotary tool bit that looks like a tiny tiny spiked ball mace

[krawdad]

Did some work trying to make my first wood ocarina. I think if I stick to power tools I can manage this without further repetitive motion injury.

[thisisqueso]

Where do I start with my souless endeavor? Staring blankly into the spaces of my mind until a thought succombs to a memory.

This memory is not something.

It is a feeling.

Some days it comes off as a dread like sticky honey left over from a cap not closed tight enough. Even if you try to drip it into your honey or on toast right, the damn thing stays sticky.

It's sometimes a oversensitivity to touch.

The rememberance of the last time I've ever eaten a peach is far too long.

What is it? A feeling of an uncomfortable nature looking for someone that won't be there.

Or the fear that someone will.

What is it? I still smile and gaze through different vectors of my personality. Drawing closer to my creative spin until I let a distraction settle in.

Am I happy? Am I okay? Do I care about others? Do I still feel the need to make friends?

Has romance left a bad taste in my mouth?

Do I run or do I stay?

The feeling comes back to being fine as long as my Spotify playlist is on point.

Thinking about how this life is too short yet not long enough in one breath. So we eat, move, explore, and embrace everything that is possible.

There is some pain in soul on a certain side that knows a name.

It'll never be a person to blame.

There are just many things that I hate and one thing is to remember how hurt became a name.

With these conflicting feelings I still wish to smile and be at peace

I love corny jokes and working with my hands, learning new things until my heart's content.

Trying not to look up to expect anything at best, to no avail I still become disappointed.

A feeling of 'I knew it!' cloaks my super ego with a brand new twist; I'll just keep moving forward.

How selfish.

Where is the integrity of only helping those you see fit, even if you do try checking in with mindless small talk.

Just trying to grow but not enough.

Am I disappointed in my self?

Then why does my pain feel good as long as I design?

What is this feeling when insults arise even thought my body is mine to love, whether I share it or not.

Why does it fuel me to try to better myself until I crash to thinking and believing I forgot something.

Nutritional values and other demands that simulators couldn't mimic. So where is this feeling of sanity that I should keep doing this?

Its just another feeling of deceit to say I'm okay when I've cried so many nights that it feels like the right thing to say now.

That even though I feel blessed for the love and care that has been shown, I don't trust many but love with what I can.

So this feeling of independent love and genuine chatter isn't to implement being selfish, I am honestly regretting not putting myself out there more by just doing everything I could back in the day. From walking to hitch hiking was a life that became a real hazy since trusting strangers than the people I've ever dated, befriended, made acquaintance, and even worked with to where most things said about me I let run at this point.

So why is it that I found peace but still dissatisfied?

My creations have collected dust, calling out to me in my dreams and developing words to corner me into submission. In a disray of restlessness due to stress and honestly working out gave me some leftover energy. After roughly 45minutes I found my rotary tool I've been thining about for two days.

So this feeling of suffocation wasn't just the nicotine cravinga, alcohol overconsuming, self-indulgent media binging queen was just a cry to find it so I can get back to what I love.

Love.

There it is.

This feeling of consistent rises and fall is my love towards knowing this feeling is true. How I am described doesn't matter as long as this love is near, I will remain sincere.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Mmmmmmmmm I can't after the starscream and dreadwing interaction-

I- 😳🥺

I need to know how the date goes between dreadwing and this "lil orange and white bot" 👀

I don't exactly have a direction to give you, I kinda wanna know how you'd write it (lemon or not uwu)

And plz don't feel pressure to do it I was just curious hehe

Aaaaye I got you king 👍 let's see how this goes.

"I can't do this."

"Yes you CAN. The real question is if HE can do this."

Starscream and Dreadwing had been getting along as of late, for one reason, and one reason only; getting Dreadwing that date he wanted. Years of casual conversation FINALLY pushed thanks to Starscream's surprising way with words. Now, Dreadwing had an actual date. Tonight. He was letting himself get prepped by Starscream (he wasn't as good as Knockout, but he was SUCH a gossip hound), in order to look his very best.

"What does that mean?"

"Means you're ugly, and I feel bad putting him through this. At least you don't look like someone threw you off a cliff."

"I don't appreciate how at every turn you-"

Starscream motioned to the clock, and Dreadwing scrambled to gather his things.

"Right, right, I'm gone."

"Remember, you have to actually SHOW you're interested!"

Dreadwing gave some grunt of acknowledgement, before he was out of there. Starscream was about ready to return Knockout's tools, when Skyquake poked his helm in.

"Hey, where was Dreadwing of to in such a hurry?"

"Oh some stupid mission or other."

"Weird. He looked...nervous."

"Maybe the mission was to try to woo a fem, who knows?"

Skyquake snorted. It was pretty obvious to them both that Dreadwing and the ladies didn't really mix. Skyquake walked in, letting his chin rest on Starscream's helm.

"Hey, we're all alone now. You know what we should do?"

"I think I know what you mean~"

Starscream dragged his claw against the side of his face, damn near making him purr. Skyquake grinned.

"Funny monkey videos?"

"Funny monkey videos."

---------------------------

The moon was bright, the night air was crisp, and the area was secluded. It was all perfect. So...why was he hating this? Hating the nerves. He had been in battles millions of times, yet, he wanted to escape. He didn't want to ruin this. He was just so cute, so excitable. Hell, even his name was-

"Blades?"

"Dreadwing?"

He was so small, he hadn't even heard him landing. He was just as orange and clean cut as he recalled, but twice as adorable. They looked at each other, a bit at a loss, before Blades adjusted his little bow tie (how precious).

"I didn't think you'd be so...big. Not like, big as in fat or anything you're just. Built like a fortress."

Dreadwing chuckled. Most would find that insulting, but Dreadwing took it as quite a compliment.

"And I didn't expect you to be so small. Why, put a leash on you, and someone could confuse you for a spark puppy."

He sat there, just realizing what the frag he just said. Blade's face exploded, and his orange optics looked around, as if expecting some kind of joke. Sure they had been flirting here and there, but saying it like that, watching Blade's little rotary blades spin a bit due to his nerves.

"Uhm...thank you. I kinda am the smallest of my team. Doesn't mean I'm not strong though, I tell you the time I did a push up to save a beach from a crashing boat?"

"Was that at the lobster festival?"

"No the dolphin one."

"So many human animals."

That seemed to bring Blades a bit out of his comfort zone, and he was suddenly at his side, jumping on the tips of his pedes.

"You have no idea! Oh my favorite animal is MAYBE dogs? They're so cute and small and..."

Dreadwing listened as he rambled on and on about various earth animals. It would've been annoying for some, but the poor thing was so jumpy, Dreadwing didn't mind letting him go. He recalled Starscream's words of wisdom 'be bold, but not borish'. He lifted his arm up to wrap it around Blade's shoulder, temporarily silencing him.

"You don't mind me guiding you like this, do you? I don't wish to interupt you with directions."

"Uhm...n-no. Fine. Totally fine."

"Good. Go on then, I haven't stopped listening."

Dreadwing could do this. He was just possibly the cutest mech he's ever seen. No big deal, as they say.

--------------------------

He was fucked. So honestly fucked. Dreadwing was not only sweet, not only a BIT flirty, but he was HUGE. His bicep was bigger than his entire head, and Blades was SWOONING. He just. Wished he could shut the fuck up. Dreadwing had been walking him, letting him ramble like a gentlemech- Blades felt just so annoying.

"And that's how I learned how to speak dolphin. Crazy, I know."

Ugh, he was giving him that killer grin again. He was a handsome devil.

"It's quite the story. I enjoyed listening to it. I hope you're ready though, for that surprise I mentioned?"

Dreadwing pushed past some foliage, revealing a large, natural hot spring. Woah. Talk about a steamy surprise. Dreadwing let go of Blades, going over to sit down, and help himself. Watching that big body sink into the bubbling water, listening as he sighed-oh Blades just wanted him BAD. Dreadwing offered his hand, motioning to the water.

"It's quite lovely. If you'd like a hand."

"I...yeah. yep. Definitely. Absolutely."

Blades tried not to trip on the rock on the way to join him. He grabbed his hand, and helped himself in, slowly. He held onto his hand even as he got inside the water. To like. Make sure he didn't drown or whatever. Dreadwing took his hand away unfortunately, seeming to remember something.

"Oh, this reminds me. Did you bring what you said you would?"

"I did! Me first or you?"

"Hmmm...I do like letting my partners go first, afterall."

Don't think kinky don't think kinky-

"R-right! Right! Go first with the. With the- anyway here!"

Blades reached into his sub space, pulling out the snack box he agreed to bring. Autobots and decepticons tended to have different flavored snacks, so they agreed to do a swap of different flavors of rust sticks. Blades got him mercury, while Dreadwing got him red energon. Real fancy stuff. They swapped boxes, and Blades was about to help himself, when he damn near choked at Dreadwing's words.

"Are you intimidated by me?"

"I mean. Kinda? Why am I acting weird? I don't mean to-"

"It's just that you're sitting so far away from me. You DID say you wanted an embrace upon my arrival."

Dreadwing lifted his arm up a bit, and Blades tried not squeal. Truth be told, he could stay under that arm forever. He tried to play it cool by just treading over to him, only to lose his balance, and fall right into his chest. As in, full on face plant.

"Oh no-"

"Are you alright? Let me see your face, I think you might of scuffed it."

Dreadwing lifted him up to his chest, and held onto his face, inspecting it in his hands. Dreadwing's claws felt so sharp, he was sure he could tear him to ribbons. His strength was so much, he could bend him in half. And with a face that handsome, he'd let him. So bold, his optics so imposing...

"Uh...I did. Something hurts."

"Where? I don't see it."

"On my lips. Look close!"

Dreadwing squinted, bringing his face ever closer to his, studying it curiously.

"Where is..."

Oh he wasn't just big and handsome and scary. He was STUPID. He wasn't getting the hint. Blades jumped for it, wrapping his arms around his neck, and pressing his lips against his. Dreadwing's arms were up in the air, unsure of what to do with them. Blades pulled away after a second, staring up at his surprised date. His optics were wide, steam was coming out of audials, and his mouth hung open. Oh no. Oh no he ruined it, he knew he did.

"I-im sorry! I was just trying to be cute and-"

"I need to warn you. Decepticons do not play nicely. Tell me, little autobot,"

Suddenly Dreadwing wasn't so bashful. He put his hands up on the rock wall behind them, giving Blades a view of his hot, wet frame. So huge, so imposing.

"Is this a game you truly want to play?"

Oh this decepticon was going to MURDER him.

And Primus he was so ready.

----------------------

"You're home late."

Dreadwing jumped once he heard that tone. Starscream was waiting in his room, magazine in his hands.

"Primus sake- Starscream why are you in my room?"

"I wanted to check up on you and your dumb little date. Get in here, let me get a good look at you."

Dreadwing wished it wasn't his business, but he DID help his date be set into motion to begin with, so he was more less obligated to. He sighed, walked inside, and lifted his arms up a bit. Starscream got off the berth, and circled him like a vulture, laughing.

"How did you make it BACK like this? You got paint scuffs, an energon stick in your mouth- and where did you get the bow tie?"

Dreadwing rubbed the back of his head, clearing his throat.

"Uh...he was wearing it. Look, some things happened, and I'd like to rest-"

"DID HE BITE YOUR WINGS?! OH YOU W H O R E."

Dreadwing huffed, keeping his wings tucked to his frame defensively.

"Will you just- go bother Skyquake or something."

"Oh you want me to hang out with him now? Primus what kinky stuff DID you guys do?"

"If I name ONE thing, will you leave me alone?"

"Only if it's honest. Preferably detailed."

Dreadwing fidgeted with the bow tie, taking a minute to smell it. Smelled like him still.

"Alright. I ate out his valve. Happy?"

"Are you?"

"...yes. Not for the overload, nice as it was. It was just...nice. Having a date. Feeling that same charming uncertainty. He was so nervous...he made me feel like a young mech again. I didn't...even mean for it to happen so fast. I was expecting just a small date. Then he got flustered, I lost my head, and it just. Did and-"

He just realized what he was doing. Fawning over the memory and gushing all over it. Starscream rolled his optics.

"Ew, you're a romantic whore. Alright, I'm out."

"Er...Starscream?"

"What?"

"I...thank you."

Starscream offered him just the smallest smile, before he scoffed.

"We're still not friends."

"Oh absolutely not."

[cristianeqwc363-blog]

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