#i tried to make it somewhat humorous bc the young ones is a comedy after all yadda yadda

[irenic-raccoon]

My first proper attempt at writing a genuine fanfic instead of the joke fics I've written in the past. Idk what the title is and I'm definitely not that great of a writer so there might be typos or grammar mistakes so ermmmmm go easy on me.

It's Vyvyan x Neil. There's only one fic of these two and I gotta stick up for the less popular ships bc that's just how I am.

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Yelling, violence, and filth. An average day in the life of The Young Ones. Mike sat at the kitchen table, casually reading the daily newspaper. Vyvyan and Rick bickered about some bullocks next to the telly. And then there was poor ol' Neil. Neil, Neil, orange peel, standing there sulking and making the tea, since he practically did everything around here. All of the cleaning and all of the cooking. He was practically a 1950s house wife!

Vyvyan and Rick's banter turned violent, per usual, as the spikey haired ginger began throwing punches. He then grabbed the nearest object to whack the spotty bastard with. His weapon of choice just so happened to be Neil's rustic acoustic guitar. Before Neil was threatened to make the god-awful lentil tea they consumed every day, he was sat by the couch, playing a crappy tune. The sound of Vyvyan bashing Rick's head in with the already busted up guitar filled the room. Damn thing can barely play a note as it was poorly put back together with cheap ducktape, done by Neil himself in a futile effort to repair it. The guitar practically crumpled in his arms everytime he played a note. It's not like he'd be able to get new one anyways. None of them could even afford to use clean water. Hope you're happy, Thatcher!

The gloomy hippie turned his head at the sight, wearing his trademark frown. "Awh man, that's really heavy, Vyv. I've been, like, making a concept album for about two months now, and I was finally coming around to one of the songs. Not like any of you care, since you all hate me so much-" He was cut off with a shared "SHUT UP, NEIL!" From both the punk and the poet. Mike just nodded, agreeing with the statement as he continued to read his paper, wearing his sunglasses indoors. Neil sighed heavily as he began pouring the lentil nightmare that they considered "tea". He'd have to tape up his guitar some more, if there's even any tape left, that is.

Neil served them the lentil slop before getting assaulted with whatever item Vyvyan chose to use, then he sulked up the stairs to his bedroom, dragging the broken guitar behind him. As Vyvyan saw him do so, a peculiar thought came to to his mind, "I could fix that easily." It's true, he could, but he didn't want to be nice, especially to Neil of all people! On the other hand, Vyvyan was extremely bored. Even the violence was getting somewhat tedious. Not like he'd stop anytime soon, but Vyvyan hasn't partook in any of his actual hobbies in a long while. Like combining random chemicals to make some sort of "medical breakthrough", only for it to end up being explosive. Or tinkering his beloved car. Hell, Vyvyan even played guitar as well, he just wasn't able to play since he broke his beyond repair. In comparison, Neil's guitar would be a breeze.

Vyvyan decided that he was going to snag that guitar from Neil real quick and get working at it in the toolshed... Not like that, you pervy! He was definitely not doing it to be nice to Neil. Of course not! It's not like he held some sort of miniscule soft spot for him. He also didn't deep-down admire how much Neil did for them all, even if he moped about it constantly. Vyvyan ESPECIALLY did not like how Neil looked in that dress that apparently belonged to Rick. Nope, that image definitely didn't come to mind every once in a while when he's having a good wa- *BANG!*

Loud construction noises came from the dinghy tool shed Vyvyan put up months ago. Okay, he wasn't the best handy man. Bugger off, he's doing his best!

"Vyayan." Rick called out, standing outside said tool shed, hands on his hips, ready to yell at him for whatever he did this time. Vyvyan ignored him.

"Vyvyan!" He called out louder. Vyvyan ignored him again.

"VYVYA-" Rick screamed before the door cracked open, only for Vyvyan to hit him over the head with a hammer. That'll shut him up for a bit. He needed to concentrate, for once. He actually wanted to make sure he did a good job on fixing Neil's guitar.

When any of the housemates came along to ask what he was doing in there, he'd respond with something outlandish like "A time machine to prevent Rick from being born". Mike only asked once before going about his own business. Rick tried to be nosy, but it'd only come back to hit him over the head. Literally. It didn't take long for Rick to get a headache and a shiner from it all. Neil didn't bother to ask, likely based off the results from Rick. Instead, he only came by the tool shed to ask for the watering can, in which Vyvyan tossed at him from inside the shed. It nearly hit him but instead it hit the ground next to him. He thought it was strange, but Neil didn't feel like getting a shovel to the groin like Rick, so he just went about his gardening, even if his plants are past their death. They were so shriveled up and dark you couldn't make out what he even planted in the first place.

Vyvyan would take breaks throughout the day, causing the usual chaos around the house, but he made sure to return to the toolshed to finish up that guitar. He did this for the past two days until he was finished. He honestly felt proud with his handy work here, even if it didn't look the best. A few dents and scratches were permanent on its body, but it was a major improvement overall. Vyvyan decided to test it out, tuning the strings by ear and playing an a simple A chord. Bloody brilliant! He was lucky that his uncle Eddie taught him a thing or two about tools, even if he was a total tool himself. He was pretty sure him and Rick's uncle were going out. He cringed at that thought. Rick's uncle was as much of a pratt as Rick himself was. Must be genetic, similar to how alcoholism runs in Vyv's family tree.

It was dark out and Neil was still awake in his room, insomia keeping him up as he painted out his astrological chart. Some of that hippie bullocks he likes. He heard foot steps outside the door, but paid no attention to it, that's until he heard the door crack open. As soon the tall brunette turned his attention to the door, it was shut immediately, leaving only his guitar leaning against the wall. Neil's eyebrows raised, perplexed. It was like his guitar came back from the dead. Was he being haunted by the ghost of his guitar? He didn't even think that they had souls. He slowly made his way to the door, looking to see if anyone was out there. No one was in the hallway, but in the corner of his eye he saw Vyvyan peeking his head out his door like a meerkat, before quickly closing the door behind him. Suddenly, Neil felt like his stomach was full of butterflies... That might just be the lentils acting up again. Time to continue that song on the toilet, hopefully without being hassled this time.