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#i used to be one of the top in exams. tbf that'd be for every subject that's not in filipino
noxtivagus · 2 years
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JUST SAW THIS NOW AAAA MY FAVS 🥺🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#[ octopath. ]#i love them !!!!#gna. try. to do. a lot. today. hdfalksdjfsd#guys i love them so much though temenos n throné r my favs#sorry. for the tags. i'm. not part of the semestral honor awardees bcs my grade in filipino was just barely out of the cut#sorry it just. hurts. i cried a lot about it in november it made me really numb n i isolated so much n a lot kinda broke for me then#it's weird yk haha i've always been a part of these ppl#n my grades in ever other subject is just but filipino just.#it hurts. it hurts so much#i mean my average is yk still the best grade there is but#stupid school n it having this awarding system of only semestral awardee if each qtr tou have the highest grade#bro i had a full identity crisis n#i just. don't want to think abt it#i don't want to think abt it at all haha this is one of my biggest regrets#but what i regret more is how i just can't be kind to myself abt it#but it's just so. disappointing yk?#i used to be one of the top in exams. tbf that'd be for every subject that's not in filipino#n i'm not bad at filipino but it's just my weakest point compared to stuff like english or maths n sciences n wtvr the fuck#it hurts. this#i'm sorry it hurts even more than i'm even hurt by it but i just want to move on get it out of my head but it just hurts so much#i was gna rant abt it last night but apollo n i ended up talking abt stuff n i went to sleep without it being the first thought on my mind#this hurts bcs it's just one fucking subject bringing me down#but my worth isn't defined by this. i know that i know so much more. but. what if i'm not? what if#goddamn bcs growing up acads was rlly. yk. to me. i wrote n played piano as my hobbies n even i liked some sports honestly but#i rmb thinking then how much it hurt how. yk back then i thought acads was what i was best at. but i. was. inferior. even to#one of my old best friends. tbf she's like rlly rlly smart n she's my third cousin too actually but yh#i know that i know better n i'm above this pain but.. it still hurts n i just curse my humanity#SORRY I'M FINE JUST TIRED RN. yk i'm just.. happy at least that. i'm moving past my disappointment yeah? striving to do better.#n i am. i'm taking care of myself better n that's what matters most to me. still it hurts but i'm more than it yk
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