#i wanna rage and cry but i literally have no more strength to even shed a tear

[b-rainlet]

Totally Crazy AU Idea feat. Time Travel Shenanigans

TUA AU where they prevent the apocalypse by tinkering around in the past and then come back to the Future

BUT of course it’s not that easy because they come back to the Future….changed

Last time Five time travelled and ended up in his 13 year old body with a 58 year old consciousness

This time around it’s worse

Everyone - except Diego - has just gone completely wild. Different ages everywhere.

And not only are they stuck being a younger/older version of themselves, their minds actually adapted to that change

Highlights include (going from oldest to youngest):

A 70? 80? Old Five, who spends most of his time sitting in a chair by the window and sleeping

The only person who could potentially know how to fix this mess fucking. sleeping. the whole day

Diego tries to talk to him in the rare moments when Five’s awake but there’s nothing even remotely useful coming out of his mouth

“Five, I need you to help me change you back to your old bodies.” - “Is there going to be cake? I like cake. My wife used to back a delicious cherry pie...I wonder where she is…..” - “Five you’ve never been married.” - “You remind me of my youngest son….He is an architect. He never visits, that ungrateful idiot. But you’ll visit me, right?” - “....Sure I’ll visit you.”

It’s a fucking nightmare and that’s not even counting the awful times Diego had to give Five a bath

(He tried to ignore that but at some point the smell just got bad. Diego hopes that as soon as Five changes back he’s gonna be on his knees, praising Diego’s kindness)

(He also hopes they never ever talk about this)

Sometimes Five will get up and walk around the house looking for Delores and Diego actually found him napping on the floor in the attic

Most of the time he sleeps though and Diego is quite grateful for that because he’s actually the least of his problems

There’s also 17 year old Vanya being in her rebellious phase, going out to party and cracking the music just that teeny bit higher when Diego tells her it’s too loud

“Is that a hickey?! Who did this?” - “I dunno.” - “You don’t remember???” - “There were multiple people.” - “Multiple People?!”

The cliche “You’re not my real Dad!” but it’s mostly “As your big brother…” - “You’re not my brother! We’re just adopted siblings!”

Vanya - as the only one old enough to have any kind of responsibility in this situation - just not giving a fuck about the age problem

“We need to come up with a plan!” - “I don’t give a fu-” - “Language! Think of the fucking children!”

Also emo Vanya and Diego tries to explain how all of this happened and that he believes that maybe the commission knows how to help

“Wait I destroyed the world?”  “...Yes.” - “Good.”

He doesn’t elaborate how she destroyed the world though but with the current rage she’s constantly carrying around with her…..she really doesn’t need to use her powers

Also: Diego still having to do his whole vigilante gig and Vanya not really feeling the whole Babysitting thing

“That’s your baby brother!” - “I didn’t choose to have one though.” “I fucking didn’t choose this either Vanya, are you fucking kidding me-”

Catch Vanya coming down to - slightly burned - breakfast in black eyeliner and leather pants, wearing Reggie’s monocle even though she can’t see shit with it

“Aren’t you supposed to practise the violin?” - “Aren’t you supposed to grow up and get an actual job?”

Diego doing some good old depression drinking when it’s all getting too much and Vanya just swooping in to drink with him

“This is all getting wayyy over my head, I have no idea what to do.” - “Uh-huh.” - “That’s why you need to help a bit more…-wait, are you drinking Vodka? You’re underage!” - “Don’t derail the conversation now, big bro. We were just making progress!”

There’s at least one instance where Diego says. “Young Lady!” in a really stern voice and then immediately has Reginald’s face flashing in front of his eyes and a impromptu crisis about becoming like him

13 year old Luther who is obsessed with becoming a vet and starts a secret animal shelter in the house that’s not at all secret

“Luther, why’s your jacket moving?” - “I...don’t know?”

“Luther, did your backpack just bark?” - “Nooooo, I-uh, I sneezed.”

(He’s a really bad liar)

Diego frequently stumbles over animals just, fucking, laying in the middle of the hallway

He once nearly stepped on a tortoise

He did step on a caterpillar

Luther’s still looking for it

One time, Luther managed to smuggle a pinguin into the academy

A real life pinguin

Out of the zoo

(Diego is convinced Vanya helped Luther just to fuck with him)

He’s also obsessed with space and convinced that he’s gonna develop the ability to fly next to his super strength

They’ve been in the ER for several hours because Klaus convinced Luther that maybe he could trigger his ‘second super power’ by jumping of the shed

(It didn’t work)

“Who on earth would jump down the shed without at least something soft to land on? Have you ever heard of safety regulations?” - “I had a parachute in case things went wrong!” - “You had an umbrella. It had holes.”

Luther slips up once and calls Diego ‘Dad’ and then panics so hard he forgets to breathe

He nearly faints and Vanya laughing at the whole situation really doesn’t make things better

“You do realize that I am not your Father, right? I’m your big brother.” - “Yeah, of course, sure, youß My Dad? Ridiculous, I’m gonna head to my room now, bye Dad-Diego! Diego! Not Dad!”

At least Luther is kinda a normal kid, not at all like Klaus

10 year old Klaus who still can see ghosts and is fucking terrified of them

They’re everywhere

And Diego honestly has no idea what to do with him or how to help

Klaus is afraid that the ghosts will hurt him when he doesn’t watch them constantly, so he tries not to sleep

By 6 pm, Klaus has already downed three coffees and several cheap energy drinks

Diego tried to limit his supply by taking away his stash under the bed but that only made Klaus more creative with his hiding spots

They’re behind the bookshelf in the living room, in the dusty cookie jar in the kitchen, under a loose floor panel under the table, under Diego’s bed, hidden in the ventilation system…..

Soon as Diego finds one spot, Klaus has another one at the ready

“Maybe they won’t spook you anymore if you just..stand up to them.” - “How?” - “Just, you know, scream at them. Go all out, scream ‘Go away’ at the top of your lungs, show them you’re the one in charge.”

But Klaus is too shy for that

He has braces and due to that, he has a slight lisp

He doesn’t really like talking

He does like making trouble with his brother though when the ghosts aren’t as close

They once stuck a magnet to Klaus braces and then couldn’t get it off again

Diego’s second visit in the ER

Klaus managed to somehow rip out part of it and the wires got stuck in his cheek and slashed it open

Third Visit

There was also that brief stint where Vanya pierced Klaus’ ear. Herself. Because Diego really is the only responsible person around here

Fourth Visit

‘That’s a lot of work!’ you say? Apparently the universe thinks it’s not enough because there are still the two youngest left! Please someone save Diego from this suffering, he never wanted to be a single Dad

There is sweet and cute 5 year old Allison…..

…..who is a brat when she doesn’t get her way

“I want ice cream.” - “All shops are closed now, you should’ve said something sooner.” - “I want ice cream!” - “Well you’re not getting any. And that’s ‘please’ and ‘I would like some ice cream’ not ‘I want ice cream’.” - “I. Want. ICE CREAM.”

Cue a screaming fit, complete with throwing herself down and banging her little fists against the floor

And occasionally looking up to see whether Diego is still watching all the hard work Allison is putting into this. He gets why she’s an actress now

(He may have ended up buying her some goddamn ice cream at the overpriced petrol station one town over. She nibbled at it and the gave it back to him because she ‘wasn’t hungry’)

Diego’s gonna fucking lose it if he has to do this any longer

But she can also be really sweet, playing calmy with her dolls or drawing him pictures

“Look!” - “Oh wow! You drew a….an elephant! Beautiful!” - “That’s not an elephant silly, that’s you!” - “Oh. Of course. How could I not see that?”

He may have cried a little when she gave him a picture of their family, sorted from oldest to youngest, all of them holding hands

”Why am I wearing a cape?” - “Because you’re our hero.”

It’s a good thing that Allison never uses her powers in arguments - the only thing Diego is glad Reginald drilled into her at a young age already - but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t use it at all

She uses it, alright

“Allison, for the love of god, stop constantly changing your hair colour. I like your hair just as it is.”

“Allison! Stop making the cat fly! And Luther, stop letting stray cats inside the house!”

“Allison! Stop turning your Oatmeal into chocolate! No, you can’t turn Klaus’ Oatmeal into chocolate either! Don’t turn anyone’s Oatmeal into chocolate!”

“Allison, stop turning yourself invisible when you’re playing tag. You know it freaks Luther out and you don’t wanna make him cry again, do you?”

But the greatest challenge of them all may be Ben

(It’s definitely Ben)

See, taking care of a Baby is already hard enough when it’s just a Baby, but a Baby with literal tentacles coming out of their body?

Ben is a quiet kid, let him sleep and - much like Five - he’ll spend his days like that

When he’s awake, play a bit with him, talk to him not at all in baby voices, Diego would never do that, no matter what Vanya claims to have seen

Try not to worry too much about the Tentacles that are constantly out (Is that normal? Were they constantly out the first time Ben had been a Baby? Should Diego like, try to stuff them back in? Would that be a good idea? Probably not)

Ben has killed people with them for fuck’s sake, but they mostly seem interested in wrapping themselves around Diego’s hand and holding on while Ben sucks on his pacifier

(The wiggly boys are kinda cute, in a weird, disturbing way)

Well, as long as they don’t-

“Luther! Get the cat before the tentacles get her! And stop letting stray cats in!”

There are only two rules concerning Ben and his...Bentacles:

Don’t scare or startle him

Diego found this out the hard way when he played peek-a-boo with Ben and was rewarded by having ink splashed into his face

Smelly Ink

Glowing Smelly Ink

Green Glowing Smelly Ink

(He spent two hours in the bathroom. In the meantime, Klaus nearly set the Kitchen on Fire and Vanya sneaked out despite being grounded to dramatically drive away with her girlfriend of the week)

So, don’t startle Ben if you don’t wanna be covered in gross stuff, noted

All is well

Then, Ben gets a cold

Which means he is more whiny than usual and barely sleeps, keeping Diego up all night

But cool, Diego could live with that

If it wouldn’t mean that Ben sneezes

A lot

And the Bentacles sneeze too

The walls of Ben’s room are soaking in ink, it’s dripping from the fucking ceiling and Diego can’t even leave because he’s afraid Ben’s gonna think he left him at the worst time of his life, but he also can’t take Ben into another room because he’d only ruin that one too…..

And Diego spending so much time with Baby Ben is making Allison jealous and Vanya hates being forced to stay around and watch over her little siblings because Diego has his hands full with the Bentacles and it only makes both of them more moody and snappy towards each other…….

It’s a long week for everyone involved

Rule Number Two, maybe the most important one:

Never. Ever. Take his Blankie

And he means never

(Thank fuck that he had pushed Allison out of the way, he still has a massive bruise on his shoulder from being thrown against the cupboard)

Basically, give me this family drama movie about Diego somehow becoming a single Dad to super children

With guest appearances such as:

Eudora, who is actually never physically there

But Diego phones her all the time because he’s freaking out

She categorically refuses to go play happy family with him, there’s no way she’s gonna get involved with that….mess

“Dora, could you come over to-” - “No.”

“Patch, there’s an emergency I need to-” - “No.”

“Could you maybe watch over Ben? Just for an hour?” - “I don’t know how to handle kids. I’m an only child.” - “I met your two brothers??”

Diego phones her and gets send to voice message and it’s just Eudora saying “Whatever it is Diego, the answer is no.”

Diego also keeps calling her to ask her really ridiculous questions about children

“Hypothetically….a kid wouldn’t actually die from swallowing a bunch of buttons, right?” - “A bunch? How does that kinda accident happen?” - “....Maybe it wasn’t an accident…..”

“Do you think it’s okay to curse in front of Babies? They don’t actually understand you, right?” - “Diego, I swear to God, it’s three am. I will kick your ass.”

Grace, who is somehow conveniently malfunctioning right when Diego would need her the most and who just….forgot how to take care of children

And how to not endanger them

Diego catched her giving Klaus tips on how to properly light things up (“Because you wanna make a big fire, honey, don’t you?”)

She basically does what the kids ask her to without any kind of regulation

They had cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner for one week straight before Diego forbid her to cook and took over that task himself

(Now, stuff may be slightly burned but at least healthy)

She helped Luther when he hid from Diego because he refused to take a bath, lying to Diego’s face - to his face - that she had no idea where Luther could be

She actually disfigures her arm so the Bentacles can play with it (!)

She gave Allison scissors because she wanted to cut her hair (!!!)

And she uses swear words in the weirdest situations because someone - Diego suspects Luther or Klaus but it’s actually Vanya - keeps teaching them to her

“Mom, have you seen Allison?” - “I have no idea where that hoe is, Asshole.”

“Diego, sweetheart, would you hand me the fucking bowl?” - “The what?”

She also does breakdance with Klaus to pretty inappropriate music

“My neck, my back, lick my-” - “JOY TO THE WORLD, THE LORD HAS COME”

She also keeps malfunctioning further because she doesn’t seem to get the concept of liquids being bad for robots

(She plays tea party with Allison a lot. Pogo has to try and fix her after every time)

Speaking of Pogo

He’s not around a lot because he spends all his time going through Reginald’s documents to either find a way to fix Grace or find some clues about Time Travel Shenanigans

(Klaus also cries every time he sees her and Allison refuses to talk to him, so it’s better if he’s not around that much)

He spends a lot of time with Vanya though under the guise of helping him with his research

(She really just likes jamming out in the same room as him because he doesn’t mind how loud her music is and he doesn’t annoy her as much as the others)

When the appropriate amount of time has passed for all the weirdest scenarios to play out and them to grow closer as a family in-between visits to the ER and mental breakdowns on Diego’s part and just general chaos all around, with some super elements thrown in

Diego has a lead about how all of this is actually the commissions fault

(Because of course it is)

So I am begging you to imagine Diego, storming into the commission headquarters, in full on Vigilante Mode, with the appropriate amount of Leather on his body and a broody look on his face

Basically ready to kick some ass

With Baby Ben strapped to his chest, in one of those Baby Carriers

Babbling and giggling, clutching his Blankie while Diego takes out all his knives

And he fights the bad guys in badass showdowns but still manages to cover Ben’s ears when they throw insults at him because “There’s a kid present! Show some class!” - “Sorry.”

Also one of them (maybe the big bad?) dares to take away Ben’s Blankie (because of course) and Ben handing his ass to him without as much as blinking

Proud big bro baby talking Ben like “Who’s my little Tentacle Boy? You are! I’m so proud of my murderous baby bro, yes I am!”

While all of that goes down, the others are told to wait in the car

Well, Vanya, Luther and Allison are supposed to wait in the car

Klaus got the huge responsibility of staying home and watching over Five because he’s in no state to be near any dangerous situations, not with his lack of sleep and his jumpiness

(Vanya, Luther and Allison were also supposed to stay at home, but both Luther and Allison refused to let Diego go alone - full on flinging themselves around his legs - and Vanya was already sitting in the car when the other three got there, not even saying anything)

But Diego is stubborn so he doesn’t let them go in with him (he has this whole speech about how Ben needs to be there because it’s the only place where Diego can properly protect him... but Diego is just really soft for Ben and doesn’t want to possibly lose sight of him)

Ben may possibly be Diego’s fave but don’t tell the others

Anyway, Vanya, Luther and Allison don’t make it more than three minutes before leaving the car

If asked, accusations would go wild, everyone blaming someone else, but fact is, Luther got out of the car first

(He saw a kitty)

Allison then got out of the car because Luthe got out and what he can do, she can do double

(Also...Kitty)

Vanya is the teenager stereotype who doesn’t even notice that they go because she’s listening to music on her walkman like an emo and trying to scope out the place as best as she can from her position

And then turns back to the others after a while

“Do you think everything’s alright back t-SHIT!”

So, they end up going to a whole other section of the evil headquarters and kick ass there

First Luther and Allison kick ass together, deciding to go find Diego if they’re already out of the car anyway

Followed by Vanya, who still believes she’s powerless and takes out guards sneaky style, hitting them over the head with a desk lamp or whatever else she can find

UNTIL

Luther and Allison are cornered by the bad guys and they don’t care whether they hurt children or not and it seems like L and A have lost

The guards are closing in and Luther positions himself in front of his sister to at least try and protect her while Allison hides behind him and both of them are crying…..

They close their eyes…..

And then there’s a loud clash and screaming and the sound of bodies hitting the floor and when they look up again there’s Vanya standing in the middle of the room, eyes white, guards laying dead to her feet

She doesn’t stay WV though, she comes back to herself to rush over to her siblings and check whether they are okay

Cue a short cuddle pile

“You have powers! Awesome!” - “Yeah, I….I guess so.”

Somehow, they reunite with Diego and manage to threaten the Handler enough she rights time, making them grown ups again and promising Five and Klaus are adults again too and that Grace should be functioning now

(Let’s just pretend she can do that and we can trust her for the sake of this AU. The important part is the whole de-aging anyway)

So, they come back home, slightly bruised but mostly okay and Vanya and Diego definitely have a heart to heart in the car about her powers while Allison, Luther and Ben are asleep in the backseat (a leftover gift from being children in stress situations)

“Thanks Diego. For all that you did.” - “I was a terrible surrogate Dad though.” - “You were a thousand times better than our real Father.”

Bonus: They come back home and just find Klaus and Five sleeping on the floor, looking like they’ve been through the apocalypse all over

Because watching over Five was supposed to be easy and even boring

But with Five sleeping - as usual - and Grace shutdown for the night already (and Pogo locked in his studies to figure out a solution) there’s nothing standing between Klaus and the ghosts

So Klaus mixes himself a drink containing three different Energy Drinks and a bunch of sugar

And sets it on the table to down it as soon as he’s peed

He comes back, prepared to drink that stuff and not think to hard about the taste

But the Glass is empty

And Five’s gone

Five + accidentally drinking something strong enough to kill someone? A disaster

He’s on the loose

And he somehow thinks someone has abducted Delores?

Wtf?

Klaus has to spend the rest of his night chasing Five, who keeps glitching around the house like a maniac, yelling and rambling and…..fighting the air? With a sword?

Where the F did he get a sword???

And it’s impossible to get Five to sit down - or at least get off the table

orthechandelierhowdidhegetonthechandelier

He’s so high on sugar he is vibrating

(Klaus is fearing for his life)

And then there’s also the fucking ghosts, who keep lurking in the shadows and reaching out for him, moaning and cursing his name…..

But Klaus doesn’t have time for this right now and he is fed up of having his life controlled by a bunch of dead people

He wants to be able to sleep again

He wants his life again

So he thinks of Diego, of his advice, and he takes a deep breath and just screams at them

“GO AWAY!!”

And it actually works

The ghosts recoil, shocked when Klaus doesn’t cower before them like usual

And they disappear

Just….disappear in a dust of smoke

And then he’s an adult again

And Five - who took the time to strip to his boxers and use lipstick like war paint - is too

Klaus rides out Five’s sugar high as best as he can, sighing in relief when he finally falls asleep, crashing down on top of him and taking a nap with him right there, on the living room floor

Where the others find them

That’s all I got tbh, but it’s already a lot askjkaj

Bls Hollywood, make it happen

[rainforestgeek]

If you lose your strength to stand (I’m gonna reach for your hand) pt. 11 “I’m Always on Your Side”

Part 10

AO3 link

--

Krolia sat down and gestured for Keith to do the same. He couldn’t begin to decipher all the thoughts and emotions whirling around his head. They almost became white noise, leaving a strange, painful numbness. He tried to look Krolia in the eyes, but if human eye contact was difficult, it had nothing on the sharp and glowing gaze of a galra.

She folded her hands. “Twenty decaphoebes ago, I was under cover in a scouting team searching for the missing Voltron lions. We picked up a matching signature on Earth. I could not allow another Lion to fall into the hands of the Empire. The Red one had long since been found.”

Keith’s heart clenched. He hated thinking about Red’s time under Zarkon’s thumb. His beloved Lion had spent so many long years trapped, and it filled him with hand-trembling rage.

Lance’s Lion, he reminded himself firmly. He may have a lingering connection to Red, but he wasn’t her pilot anymore.

“So I attacked the other scouts, destroyed them, and crash landed onto the planet’s surface. As all Blades are, I was fully prepared to die for my mission. But instead I woke up in your father’s house,” Krolia’s voice quieted, “in pain but alive. He cared for me while I was at my weakest.”

She paused. Keith dared a glance back at her face to find her gaze was still firmly locked on his. He looked away again.

“It took a long while to trust him. But I sensed the fellow spirit of a warrior. He was kind and righteous and he vowed to protect the Blue Lion by my side, once we’d found her. I said I’d stay out of devotion to my mission. Truthfully, I stayed because I already loved him. A Blade’s life is lonely and hard. I believed I’d paid my dues and earned a peaceful life. And then we had you.”

Keith gritted his teeth. “But you left. If you were so done with the war then why did you leave?”

“Keith.” He looked up at her. “More scouts found the Blue Lion. They attacked and your father nearly died. As long as the Empire suspected a Lion of Voltron was on Earth, you both would have always been a target. I left to divert their attention from your solar system. I left to protect my family and the one I love most in the entire universe: you.

“The pain of being apart from you was second only to the thought of putting your life in danger.”

Keith unsheathed his knife. “Is that why you left me this? Did you know I’d find myself in the war? Or did you expect me to find you?”

“I knew,” she said softly, “if you grew to be anything like your father, you would be a fighter.”

“Dad died ten years ago.” The words rushed out of Keith like a dam breaking. “I was alone until Shiro found me and now I’ve lost him again! But I found you and now you’re the only family I’ve got left and I’m so goddamn sick of being angry at you!” He’d accidentally yelled, his voice echoing in the room. Krolia moved her chair closer to where he was rocking back and forth in his and held out her hand. He grabbed it with both of his and started crying the moment her other hand clutched them. She let him cry and scream it out, all the tornado of everything he’d been through ripping from his throat. She stayed and held his hands as tightly as he gripped hers, anchoring him without pushing him.

Once his eyes had nothing left to shed, he calmed himself one shuddering gulp of air at a time. Keith wiped away the tears from his cheeks. He was surprised to find that he felt a little lighter, not unlike stepping onto a slightly less massive planet than Earth.

“I’d hoped, for so many decaphoebes,” Krolia said, voice low, “that I would see you again once you were old enough and strong enough. We can’t get that lost time back, but Keith.” She gripped his shoulder and the touch revived something warm and powerful in him. With a shock, Keith realized he felt safe with his mother. “I’m here now. And I know a warrior when I see one.”

The words made Keith feel strong. Like the day he’d first flown the Red Lion, a sensation of controlled power. He understood what had drawn his righteous and bullheaded dad to Krolia. Honestly, leave it to him to fall in love with an alien spy wielding a knife.

“Nothing was more important to Dad than saving lives. He was trying to drag two people out of a burning building when a gas line exploded under him.”

The day he’d died was the worst of Keith’s life. It began a pattern of losing the only family member he had. Dad, then Shiro. But Keith had been the one to walk away from Krolia, her words ringing in his ears, “I’ll never leave you again.”

“I left my team,” he said. “I need to go back to them.”

Kolivan chose that moment to stride back into the room. “Keith, Krolia. The Red Paladin has just arrived.”

--

[several vargas earlier]

“I knew it.”

Lance stood in his armor in the Black Lion’s hangar, where there was – shocker – no Black Lion. He put on his helmet and commed Allura. “Princess, Keith ran away.”

There was a long pause before he heard “…quiznak.”

He did an about face and stalked past Matt, who was staring blankly at the empty hangar, and made a beeline for the Red Lion. “He took Black with him, so do you think you could magic-find the Black Lion like you did when we first showed up?”

“Yes, I’m on my way to the bridge now. I can’t believe he did this.”

Because he was a mature adult, Lance bit his tongue against an I told you so. “As long as you can get me his location I’m gonna drag Keith back here by his ears.”

“Good.”

“Because you were right, we need everyone right now.” Red’s eyes lit up as Lance approached her and she smoothly leaned down to let him board. He settled into the pilot’s seat of the scarlet-bathed cockpit. “Hey. Uh. I’m really sorry for yelling earlier.”

Allura didn’t even pause with her response. “So am I. Give me a moment to find him.”

Lance was sure there was more that needed to be said between him and the princess, but they had to focus. He booted up the console, feeling the metal walls around him hum with power and magic. The viewscreen blinked to life and quickly enough he was ready to take off.

Except that Red refused to close her mouth.

“Girl, come on, we’ve gotta go get Keith.” She stubbornly kept her jaw to the floor. “What is your deal?”

Then he spotted a figure jogging toward him on the screen. Matt disappeared as he boarded then reappeared behind him. Red finally shut her maw and stood up with a self-satisfied rumble.

“What are you doing?” Lance demanded.

“I’m coming with you to get Keith. I’m worried about him, too, and besides, you might need backup.”

Lance wanted to argue, not least because spending a bunch of time alone in outer space with Pidge’s older brother made him kind of fear for his life. But both his Lion and Matt seemed to have their minds made up. In the back of his head, he felt Red anxiously growling and whipping her tail back and forth. She wanted to find her old paladin. Envy flashed through Lance and he grit his teeth against it.

The console lit up with a comm from Allura. “I found them. Keith went to the Blade of Marmora Headquarters.”

Huh? “So he’s not out looking for Shiro?” Lance puzzled as they launched out of the Castle and blazed through the atmosphere. He glanced at Matt, who was holding tight to the back of his chair to steady himself from the sudden momentum. He didn’t look surprised by the news.

“Apparently not. I want an explanation once you’ve brought him back. Allura out.”

Keeping his eyes on his flight path, Lance asked, “You know something about this?”

“Yeah,” Matt replied. “I think so.”

When he failed to elaborate, Lance sighed harshly through his nose. “Fine. Keep your secrets.”

“It’s not my secret, it’s Keith’s. And if he hasn’t told anyone else about it, I won’t do it for him.”

“No, I get it, some things stay between you and your boyfriend. Speaking of which, one of those things that stays private is definitely bedroom stuff and my bunk is right next to Keith’s, so please for the love of God keep it down next time.” It was difficult to tell with the red light of the cockpit, but Lance noted with some satisfaction that Matt’s face looked unnaturally flushed.

It was a long, awkward flight, them sitting in silence. If he didn’t have piloting to concentrate on Lance would probably have broken out in nervous rambling a long time ago. They were coming close to the HQ and out of the corner of his eye Lance saw his passenger was messing with some gadget or whatever. He worked with the same unblinking, owl-eyed stare that Pidge did on her projects. It made Lance’s stomach twist uncomfortably. He hardly knew this guy outside the context of a battle or when Pidge talked about her brother like he’d hung the moon. Other than that…Matt had this outward appearance of being perfect or something. He was a genius and, apparently, universally likable. He even got prickly Keith to open up.

Lance finally gathered his nerve and broke the silence. “By the way. I don’t want to know about the ins and outs of your relationship with Keith – and I mean that literally, too – but he’s had super rough go in life and if you hurt him I’ll shoot you in the face.”

Matt immediately burst into laughter. Lance frowned. “Hey! Seriously, I’ll do it!”

“Oh, I believe you. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve known Keith for several years. I know what buttons not to push. This just isn’t the shovel talk I pictured us having.”

The back of Lance’s neck felt hot. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really?”

“Look, me and Keith might fight a lot but that doesn’t mean I wanna find him someday angry and heartbroken and fighting the gladiator at level fifty.”

“I won’t break up with him,” Matt said tightly.

“Like, so far you seem pretty good to him, but I’m just saying – ”

“Is this what you meant by staying out of our relationship?” Matt demanded. He didn’t shout, but his tone was like icicles threatening to fall from the ceiling and skewer you to the ground. “I…I get that you care about Keith, and you and I don’t know each other.”

Lance snorted. “That’s an understatement.”

“Keith was right, you are annoying.”

“Please tell me I’m not a part of your pillow talk, ‘cause that’s just disturbing.”

Matt resolutely moved himself into Lance’s line of vision. His arms were crossed over his armored chest. “But, he told me you wouldn’t play with my sister’s feelings. And I’d prefer to trust his word.”

Every trace of sarcasm melted off Lance like an ice cube on the hood of a hot car. He stubbornly fixed his eyes on the stars flashing by them as he flew. “Yeah, well, you don’t have to worry about that. Pidge doesn’t have feelings for me in the first place.”

“Oh.”

“She’s too…” Lance debated on the best word to explain how unfathomably out of his league Pidge is. “…special.”

Even just out of the corner of his eye, he saw Matt glaring at him. Holy hell, what did I say to piss him off? The rebel pinched the bridge of his nose and took three deep breaths.

“Two things. First, no matter how unusual she might seem to you, Pidge is still a person who can feel the entire spectrum of human emotion. Quite powerfully, in fact. Second, you can shove that bullshit ‘special’ euphemism right up your ass, autism is not a cuss word.”

Lance jerked the controls in surprise, making Red jolt and list violently. She wrenched control from him and steadied herself, growling irritably. He stroked the console apologetically then turned wide-eyed to Matt. “Pidge is autistic?”

Matt kept glaring and raised one eyebrow, and he looked too much like Pidge right now and it was distracting. Still kind of reeling, enough of Lance’s brain calmed down to sift through what he’d said that was so offensive.

Oh. He waved his hands between them in a time-out, clear-the-air kind of motion. “Dude, dude, dude, I did not mean it like that. Pidge is special. Like one in a billion, way too smart and tough and pretty to look twice at a guy like me. And also – Pidge is autistic? I mean, I kinda figured Keith is, he’s so awkward and confused all the time and you’ve seen his resting bitch face but Pidge – well, I guess that does explain the babbling and the sensory weirdness – not that Pidge is weird – ”

“Lance, you’re rambling.” Matt rubbed the back of his neck, murderous expression thankfully gone. “I just thought you’d put two and two together. She’s…something. Truthfully, we don’t actually know for sure. My parents got her tested for autism and later ADHD but nobody would diagnose a smart girl who looked them in the eyes. I had to watch my little sister struggle in school with almost no friends and no help, so now that she has you guys, I’d rather none of you die or leave or hurt her in any way.”

He gave Lance a very pointed look. The dude apparently didn’t blink an eye at his fifteen (sixteen?) year old sister flying a giant war machine and killing bad guys, but the minute any kind of relationships got involved he went full mama bear. Go figure. Lance knew better than anyone that explosions hurt less than broken hearts. He spun his chair so he was facing the view screen instead of Matt.

“Don’t worry. Pidge is my friend, and I’ve always got her back. I wouldn’t do anything to mess that up.”

There was a pause. “You know I’m not, like, forbidding you from dating her, right?”

Lance huffed in frustration. “Doesn’t matter, it’s not a thing.”

“So you don’t like her? When I ran into you the other night, it seemed – ”

“I do, it’s just – urgh!” Lance stood abruptly and paced to the back of the cockpit, leaving Red to autopilot for a while, and grabbing furiously at his hair. “It’s so confusing! I was just starting to get over Allura and then – then Pidge almost died and – what the hell is wrong with me?”

“I’m not following.”

“There’s a word for suddenly getting feelings for another girl right after getting your heart broken, and I’m pretty freaking sure it’s REBOUND.” Lance slumped against the wall and dropped his head in his hands. “Pidge deserves better than that.”

Matt hummed thoughtfully. “You’re right. But what I’m hearing is that you respect her a lot.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m keeping my mouth shut about this BS.”

“So are you sure the feelings are new?”

Lance side-eyed him. “Have you been listening?”

“Yeah, yeah, the whole princess thing. I’m just saying, maybe you’ve had feelings for Pidge for a long time and you’re just now realizing it. It’s possible to like more than one girl at once, you know.”

The words struck a chord in Lance and it made his stomach turn over. Loving two girls at once? Didn’t matter that he wasn’t dating either of them, the very possibility felt slimy. He jumped back to his feet and got in the chair. Sensing his distress, Red purred at him in his mind. “It doesn’t even matter, okay? Pidge doesn’t look at me like that and I won’t stop being her friend. End of discussion.”

He shrugged. “Okay. Fine.”

“I was serious though. Be good to Keith or I will shoot you.”

--

Keith startled when the doors burst open and a very red-faced Lance stalked inside, Matt hot on his heels. Both Keith and Krolia stood up.

“What the hell, Keith? We thought you’d jetted off on a half-cocked rescue mission in the middle of empty space! The least you could do is tell somebody what you’re doing!”

“Lance, shut up, please,” Matt begged.

“You shut up!”

“Lance. Shut. Up.” Keith agreed. He got a long, brown finger too close to his face for his trouble.

“Keith, one of these days you’re going to give me a stroke.” With that said, Lance looked around, realized who else was there, stood up straight, and cleared his throat. “Oh, hi, Kolivan. Sorry for barging in like that. Did we interrupt something?”

“Not from my end,” the old galra said wryly.

Keith awkwardly cleared his throat and addressed Krolia. “The annoying one is Lance, the Red Paladin of Voltron. And this is Matt Holt.” Keith halted, not sure if he should announce their personal relationship. Probably not. “He’s a leader in the rebel forces.

“Guys, this is Krolia. She’s my mother.”

“Your what? You’re his – ” Lance turned to Matt, mouth gaping open like a fish. “Did you know Keith found his galra mom?”

“Yes.”

“Lance,” Keith said, “I’m sorry for leaving without notice. I didn’t mean to worry you guys.”

Lance had his face buried in his hands. “Dude, you can’t just vanish then drop a bomb like your galra mom popping up and then just move on. You are giving me gray hair. I’m too young for that.” He turned and walked off to lean his head against the wall. Krolia watched him with an eyebrow disappearing beneath her hair.

“He needs a minute,” Keith explained. “Lance’s brain can’t process more than one surprise each day.”

Matt snickered. Lance groaned a little and came back. “I’m sorry for intruding, Kolivan, but could the three of us stay here for the night?  We should get back to the Castle of Lions soon but it’s been a very long day.”

“Certainly. Have you made any progress with General Ezor?” Kolivan asked.

“Annoying progress, but yeah, she’s been talking. Apparently the assassination attempt wasn’t an assassination attempt, but Haggar wanted to kidnap Allura and that’s not even the bad news.

“The Princess and the Emperor were searching for a place that’s like, the ultimate source of all Altean magic. Long story short, we found it in something called a white hole, Allura’s super powerful now, and we’re pretty sure Haggar found it too so the enemy just might be a thousand times more powerful than she was before.”

Lance paused to catch his breath. “Also, Pidge and I think she might still have Shiro. Alive.”

Keith clenched his fists against the small surge of hope that gave him. He felt Matt take one hand and gently smooth his thumb over his knuckles, until Keith relaxed and slotted their fingers together.

Kolivan said, “The Blade has been pursuing what we think may be a major source of the druids’ power. A place that holds extremely potent quintessence.”

Keith turned to his mother. “The same quintessence that made that superweapon?”

She nodded.

“Superweapon?” Lance demanded.

“Are we looking at another Naxzela type of situation?” Matt asked. Deep wrinkles formed between his eyebrows.

“Nothing to that scale. I know how this sounds, but it can wait until morning,” Krolia assured.

Part 12

[anonymously-complicated]

"Together forever against life as we know it" -grandma

Growing up this saying was programmed in me pretty early. I dont know where my grandma heard it, maybe family before her, but it was our family mantra. I keep saying it a whole lot lately for encouragement to be strong for her. But it’s hard. You can say I’m just mad. Really really mad. At the world. I’m mad that the things that scare me the most are the things in which i cannot change. Things i can not protect my family from. I’m mad at cancer. I never thought something like this would happen to someone so close to me. And i get it now. I get why people line up and recognize this disease. I understand they too are just mad and wanna talk about it. I guess I’m more mad because i know in my heart that there’s a cure for this shit. Yeah I’m one of those “conspiracy philosophers”. I always said under the white house somewhere in all those tunnels is a cure for everything. But at the same hand i say i dont believe in science completely and they could be wrong. And I’m not in denial i just truly believe that. I believe our bodies are all so different to the point where sometimes the same image is different on our insides. I believe our bodies fight differently and alot of that comes from our spiritual connection with our self. What i mean is if u wanna get better, i think alot of the time you will because ur spirit is built to accept only that. Yeah I’m one of those people too. When i first heard the news i felt ambushed. Like what was i gonna say to this thing i cant fix? What was i gonna say to my mom who had clearly been ballin? So i just asked more about it. “Well, what stage? How are they approaching this? It could be something else. I’m calling grandma i love you.” After i hung up i thought it best not to pester my grandma and make her cry more. I was putting together my new bed frame and i just got up and it hit me. Hard. And the first emotion: anger. Anger so bad they call it rage. I wanted to own a bat just to smash all the windows in my new house. As if that’d help. I can’t fight cancer for her so lets self destruct. Clever one. After anger i just broke down. And instead of crying infront of my husband i walked in the kitchen. I wanted to be alone. And strong. Not cry and be vulnerable waiting to snap like that little twig u never seen until it was too late. I wanted to be invisible so i didnt feel pathetic. After i was done i went back into my room, finished my bed frame then made an excuse to leave, sushi was a good one. I left to go get sushi for me and egg rolls for my husband. He never asked. Never asked what was wrong, I’d say it was lack of care but i believe it was just the opposite i think he was scared of how id break and he knew i couldnt take that. I grabbed my dog and we left. On the way into town i said she could use some positivity because i already knew how everyone had taken it. So i called. When i spoke to her it seemed like the nurse or doctor who told her wasnt sure of herself and what she thought she’d found. However the next day when i went to visit and didnt show up puffy eyed like the rest of my aunts and mom they began to reassure me “ i dont know what she told you shey, but its bad.” My aunt chimes in with “ you know there’s only a 47 percent of survival” as she holds back her over dramatic tears. And i looked at her “ well Britt from what she told me theyre not sure what it is and she’ll find out monday.” They all looked at me like i was crazy. “ no shey theyll find out how far along she is. We all know what it is.” She was making me mad. Making a scene, and making it all about her as i look at gma who cant even walk. So i started with my theory “doctors dont know everything ok? We are all so different and science is not 100 percent.” She looked at me hopelessly. So i just walked away. What did they want from me? To walk in puffy eyed and show my grandma lack of strength? Lack of faith that she could do this whatever it was? No. Hell no. She had them for that. I needed to save face because im not the one who cant walk and crying as if im in as much pain was bull shit. As i drove my mom home she made sure to express to me the severity of all of this. And said “i rather think negative shey because everytime i think positive it bites me in the ass. So think positive if you want but everytime i do i end up heart broken.” Yeah i cried then. Like a baby. And it wasnt fair. Its unfair to cry because just imagine her pain. Its selfish. I’d trade places with my grandma. So i didn't have to go through this I’d trade places even though lately heaven has been something i questioned. Id trade places not knowing where I'd be after this so i knew shed be here and okay. I'd trade places even though it scares me. Im mad that a woman who dedicated her life to taking care of old people, who scrapped by in life because she paid everyones bills for them, a woman who just finally bought her house, a nurse, a woman who'd literally give you the shirt off her back was going through this. The irony. The twisted irony. Im just mad. And im scared of what is going to come of me if this doesn't go good. Because i know me. And i remember the feeling i had when my mom went into the mental institution. That no hope, numb, dead feeling. That angry feeling. I know what would come next and im scared. And i am so so mad. So i just keep telling myself together forever against life as we know it.