#i wanna see them at the fillmore again

[rainbow-arrow]

well, i hope the spotify presale isn't as big of a shitshow as the email one

[langdxn]

Meeting Punk!Duncan at a club and having him eat you out in the back of his car because he couldn’t wait to get you home and he’s that good you end up squirting all over him.

Can I just run away with punk!Duncan now? Thank you for the request anon, this made my semi-punk heart very happy! ❤️❤️❤️

The stage was set.

Fugazi reunited for a one-off hometown show at the Fillmore Silver Spring. You finally finished studding the 10-pound leather jacket of your dreams. And you bumped into an intriguing man in the smoking area.

The way his smoke swirled around his head like an ironic halo made your knees weak. The streams danced between his brunette spikes like a spectral obstacle course. The way he inhaled like his life depended on this toke, leaning against the venue wall like he was part of the furniture. The way he grinned as he watched you watching him savour his cigarette.

Wait. He was watching you watching him.

“You okay there, baby girl?” He drawled, shrugging his eyebrows as you snapped back into the real world with a shake of your head. “Need a drag?”

Hell, he even spun his cigarette around in his fingers to proffer it towards you in such a slick manner, he’d put Danny Zuko to shame.

“Sure, thanks dude,” you muttered, purposefully swiping his palm with your soft fingertips as you plucked the cigarette from his hand. Inhaling deeply, more deeply than usual at least, your tongue darted out to find the lingering taste of his lips that rubbed off onto yours.

He tasted like vanilla. Punks don’t taste like vanilla. Punks never taste like vanilla.

“Duncan Shepherd,” he declared as he took back his smoke.

“The Duncan Shepherd?”

He nodded, nervously twirling his lip piercing. “Unfortunately, yeah.”

“Your family’s high up in politics and you’re out here standing in spilled beer and cigs with me?”

He straightened up, towering over you with a menacing grin spread across his cheeks. Snaking an arm around your waist, he cinched you in until his plump lips hovered over yours.  

“No place I’d rather be, doll.”

You blushed like a teenager, gazing at his Doc Martens in an attempt to break his Medusa-like stare.

“Does that one work often?”

“Zero percent success rate,” he sighed, leaning back against the wall ever so slightly defeated. “But then again the name is usually a dealbreaker so you’re already bucking the trend.”

“Glad to hear it,” you chuckled.

“So you know all about me already, but I don’t know a damn thing about this beautiful stranger whose lips taste like vanilla.”

Your eyes darted to the cigarette, then back up to his baby blues, a devious grin sneaking across his lips.

“What do you wanna know then, Mr Shepherd?”

“Nothing too sordid. Just your name, where you live and exactly how long it’ll take me to get you out of that bondage belt.”

He leaned in again, this time chasing your lips with intent as you stuttered a response, his hot breaths fanning your hair from your face.

“Y/N, the other side of DC and the buckle’s at the back.”

“I love a straightforward girl,” he cooed, pressing his lips against yours fervently, taking your breath away.

His kiss was so commanding, so deep, the rest of the world around you disappeared into a murmur of indistinguishable voices. Your heartbeat thundered in your ears as you clasped a hand behind his neck and pulled him closer, triggering a broad smile against your lips. His hands rested respectfully on your hips, drinking in every curve and exploring your existence.

“My place?” He hummed against your lips between thrashes of his tongue against yours. “We can make it back for Fugazi, I’m only a couple blocks away.”

“Fucking deal,” you panted, taking his hand as he led you out to the parking lot.

Before you knew it, you were bundling into the passenger seat of a vintage Camaro SS, slipping out of your heavy jacket while Duncan frantically fumbled with his keys in the dark, a metallic cacophony that suggested your driver was a little too impatient. He shot you a nervous smile as he cursed under his breath, trying every key in the ignition to no avail.

“Fucking piece of retro shit,” he fumed before chucking the entire collection of keys in the air and planting his hand on your thighs. “Fuck this. Get in the back seat for me, babe.”

“Damn, Mr Shepherd, someone’s needy,” you giggled, hooking a leg over the stick shift as Duncan skilfully unbuckled your belt while you manoeuvred in the least attractive way possible. Duncan followed suit while shedding his black jacket and parting your knees to crouch between them.

“If you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d see why I can’t wait to get you home.”

Hitching your skirt around your waist, Duncan moaned greedily as he came face-to-face with your panties and the only obstacle between him and your throbbing cunt were your fishnets.

“May I?” His eyes roved up to yours as he carefully pinched a clump of your tights in both hands until you nodded breathlessly and a curt rip echoed around the car, followed by a victorious moan as Duncan deftly slipped your panties to one side.

“Fuck,” he panted as he greeted your already glistening folds, eyes wide and glassy with lust. He dipped a curious finger into the arousal pooling at your entrance and slicked it on his tongue. “Your pussy tastes like vanilla too!”

“Shepherd, put that silver tongue to work,” you purred, cupping his head in your hands and throwing yours back against the leather headrest.

Duncan’s impatience prevailed as he sank his head between your thighs, latching his lips onto your clit and sucking ever so gently. The tip of his tongue traced lazy circles around your sensitive spot, his stubble burning at your entrance. Your hips bucked into his jaw, back arching as he shifted to slick your entrance.

Humming hungrily against your folds, vibrations sending chills up your spine, Duncan lapped at your cunt filling the car with obscene wet sounds in between your desperate moans.

“You’re so wet for me baby doll,” he murmured, fingers wandering to part your folds and offer his tongue entrance to your heat. “This pussy is all mine, right baby?”

“Yea—yes daddy,” you stuttered between shallow pants as his breaths ghosted over your cunt, spread wide open before him.

Duncan turned his attentions to dipping his tongue between your folds. Stroking your walls in languid motions, he groaned with every thrust as a hand pressured your abdomen to hold down your keening hips.

“Stay still for daddy,” he purred as he trailed a finger between your folds, slipping inside with ease and curling against your walls while his tongue swirled over your swollen clit. Edging you closer to your climax, he added one more finger with a gentle gasp as his digits buried inside you. Sliding yet another finger deep into your heat, Duncan growled as he stroked eager motions that sent shakes down your thighs. Your breaths laboured, blissful and overwhelmed, you balled your hand nestled in his hair and mewled desperately.

“Duncan, I’m gonna—“

“That’s a good girl, cum for me,” he beckoned breathlessly, tongue racing through your folds as your walls constricted tightly.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head while an overwhelming spasm spread through your legs, a strong wave of pleasure racing to your cunt as you lost control and sprayed all over Duncan’s face. He didn’t flinch, his eyes simply widened and watched you quiver through your orgasm, back arching and hips jittering uncontrollably while the front of his painstakingly styled hair slowly dipped forward after being soaked. Duncan chuckled under his breath, wiping his forehead as clear droplets brimmed on his brows, trails of your arousal streaming down his cheeks as he grinned greedily.

“Fucking hell babe, you didn’t tell me you could…”

“I—I… I didn’t know,” you panted through sharp, shallow breaths, chest heaving frantically as Duncan grabbed his jacket to dry himself down. You fumbled through your pocket for a post-head smoke, discovering your phone that alerted you to the time you’d spent fooling around in the back of Duncan’s car.

“Dunc, Fugazi’s about to start,” you tapped his shoulders and attempted to close your knees together, only for his large hands to firmly hold your thighs apart and dive right between them again.

“Fuck Fugazi, babe, I need to make you squirt all over me again.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

read part two here

[rejjiashowarchive]

Happy Black History Month Day 16:

Today I would love to celebrate the band: The Internet.With members comprising of Syd the Kyd, Steve Lacy, Matt Martians, Patrick Paige II and  Christopher Smith, these talented black musicians bring my feelings to the surface when I need some "Ego Death" (definitely still resonates too)Releasing their first official album, Naked Purple Ladies, in 2010, I didn't come to know this bad officially until the debut of their music video for their hit song "Girl" on MTV. I didn't like the song at first because MTV made hearing the song so annoying playing it over and over again. But when they released their music video for "Special Affair/Curse", I was caught in the soul trap of their music collective hive mind. Just the passion of watching Syd sing and the band revolving to also echo and resonate was enough for me to want to dive in deeper. When they released their "Hive Mind" album in 2018, I was so excited to actually be able to see them tour. I first saw them perform at the Trillectro festival in 2018 amongst a lot of other artists. And then I got see to "meet them personally" when they came to the Fillmore in Silver Spring, MD. I have pictures that are still currently being developed but I got to hug each one of the members and then watch Moonchild open for them! It was honestly the best time of my life. The fact that this band was able to come together like this and collaborate and make music for the joy of it, for black people to be unapologetic and just vibe, is all about #blackjoy and why #blackhistory is important in recognizing always!But beware, listening to their music while driving is dangerous. I got into a car accident twice while listening to their music! ITS THAT GOOD! When I came home today from work, I found that their poster, with their individual autographs, had fallen on the floor. I took that as a sign to listen to their music. And I'm really feeling the messages in these songs again! I'm still hearing: choose love but also choose yourself!! Examples:"I think you need a real love/You gotta love something" - Humble Pie"I can't be sure/Not anymore/Today or tomorrow/What we gon' do" - come together "Listen to your heart/What's it sayin'?" - Roll (Burbank funk)"Puppy love/Butterflies/Made you blush/You made me smile/What you want/Baby you decide/Why we grown/Wasting time" - Come Over"I'm a hard act to follow/keep up your autumn/Move your feet/enjoy my sweet soirée" - La Di Da"Seeing things in a new light/I know you've been through stuff, but/I wonder if you're too righteous/'Cause lately people going crazy/I think you should stay/'Cause I just want you safe - Stay the Night"Thought that you had changed/I found out it's just a role you play/Well bravo, baby/Bravo, baby oh" - Bravo"And I think it's arrogant to make plans in advance/One day at a time/I burn the sage for all the negative, pay it no mind" - Gets Better With Time"Girl, you got me wondering/If we should be more than friends" - Wanna Be"I’ll show you what I know/You’ll give me what I need/Not saying I’m a pro/But you could learn from me" - Hold OnThank you Internet for taking the time to make the rhyme and share your tithes with us. Thanks for being you!

[jethomme]

What does the Bernie Sanders phenomenon ultimately mean?

Poem found in the “Clusterfuck Nation” blog:

A Poem for Bernie by Peter A. Golden

I remember you, Bernie Sanders, before you fled north to that Eden where skis and Birkenstocks blossom on the trees.

We had left the Fillmore that New Year’s Eve, heads full of noise and smoke, still dancing in the icy moonlight on Second Avenue, where old Jews, broken from the sweatshops, had once crowded into Yiddish theaters.

Steam fogged the bright windows of the deli, and inside the fragrance of pickles and smoked meats was as thick as perfume in a bordello.

How crowded it was! Hash-heads devouring Danish with corned beef, while lovers, brains tinted pink and blue with acid, counted the holes in the matzoh balls.

But you, Bernie, were not among them. You were in the back room, a starry-eyed Menshevik debating a Bolshevik with big yellow teeth and jellied calves feet in his mouth, and I prayed for you Bernie, prayed that Stalin wouldn’t emerge from the grave to plant an ice axe in your head.

And now here you are again, shining like a lava lamp in the Trumpian darkness, a white-haired, arm-waving sage, singing old songs to youngsters who never heard them, songs without meaning or music, offering up sugar-spun wishes like cotton candy.

Oh, the beauty, you say, when we are wrapped in the loving arms of government. Who could doubt a faceless bureaucrat would love you less than the silent God? So I am listening to you Bernie, remembering seaside summers and ice skating on a Norman Rockwell pond, because I also love the dream of an America that never was and never will be.

Comment:  The poem serves as an instruction on the valid beginnings and endings of a political career--Bernie Sanders is an ardent believer in a social and political NECESSITY: S O C I A L I S M.  Contrarily lies this fact:  deep, wealthy elites:  the 1% who own 40% of the country do not want socialism--which is to say, do not want relief for more than 100 million people because it means diminished wealth for themselves.  Additionally, these plutocrats and wanna be plutocrats will try, usually succeed, in persuading common Americans that socialism is equivalent to Bolshevik Communism.  Only the uneducated will believe this falsehood.

Millenials (the younger variety) and Generation Z are not buying it, right?!  Finally, whatever occurs, whoever, whatever of the two parties (really one in effect) shall win, the country will have (said with hopefulness) begun the exercise toward a valid 3rd Party and people like Barry Commoner, Ralph Nader, and Dr. Jill Stein, profound leaders/truth tellers will have their day. More importantly, the country will have its day and future. Yes, am saying the Democratic and Republican Parties as they now stand are moribund, particularly the Democratic Party which before the Clinton phenomenon and its compromised policies once defended common Americans, now a derelict social class.

I like the poem except for the final stanza which reflects the poet’s dark feelings about our time.  Instead, this 75 year old sees the Bernie Sanders phenomenon as a) a clear lens to the emerging, maturing political convictions of many young Americans (a few older) moving away from self-oriented, monopoly, financial capitalism toward using a political system (regulated capitalism) to integrate society thru an equity not possible with unfettered capitalism--our present system.  This said, I am not arguing against relative wealth accumulation and a reasonable division of social classes. That is to say: reward genius, ambition, and industrious labors commensurately.  My threshold is $1 billion dollars total net worth possible. b) A fact: Monopoly Capitalism cannot ignore the need for authentic socialist programs to heal deep wounds:  formerly middle class Americans out of work or working two or more jobs, and/or increasingly homeless Americans.  Nor can Monopoly Capitalism ignore the current, failed “foreign policy strategy (since WW2 certainly): “endless wars for endless peace.” That is to say:  the war economy.  There exists presently an emerging recognition that the US imperial project must be stopped).  Go Bernie!

[douxreviews]

iZombie - ‘Thug Death’ Review

"Time's nearly up for zombies."

This was a strange episode, for me.

All of iZombie’s four season premieres up until this point have made very clear mission statements. Notably, season four’s ‘Are You Ready for Some Zombies’ had the grand task of setting up a completely new version of Seattle that had been walled off from the rest of the world, and it did it well. ‘Thug Death’, the start of iZombie’s final season, feels more like a continuation of what came before it. Nothing felt all that different, and we spend a lot of the hour dancing around elements we had grown to understand last season. On top of that, the episode doesn’t spend enough time with its more impactful moments to let them truly resonate. A shaky start isn’t something iZombie has ever had before, and it’s a little concerning heading in to what should be the show’s last opportunity to show us what it does so well.

Several months after the events of the fourth season, this episode starts with all of the characters pretty much where we left them. Major is now the commander of Fillmore Graves, and struggling to maintain order; Clive is still holding down the fort at Seattle PD, but still enjoying what he can of his married bliss with the now expecting Bozzio; Blaine is a king amongst zombies and men, as he has control over the main channel of brains into the city; Peyton is still Chief of Staff for the former Mayor, but as far as Johnny Frost is concerned, she is the Mayor of New Seattle; Ravi’s “monthly” zombie outbursts are still a thing, as is his stagnated research into the cure he found in Isobel’s brain; and Liv is still Renegade, and is reviewing all of the applications that are pouring in to find asylum in New Seattle.

The latter’s actions this week are probably the strangest of the hour, mostly because they were all completely Liv. No brain and no visions factor into her investigation into the disappearance of a human girl, supposedly at the hands of a group of zombies. It’s nice to see the show rely completely on Liv herself and not a gimmicky trait to sell the episode, but with Ravi taking on the brain-of-the-week it forced Liv to take somewhat of a backseat. The writers do ensure that this investigation is laced with the tensions of the human/zombie inner war, though a decision to extend the case beyond this episode meant we didn’t really get into something concrete at any point during the episode.

Ravi, suffering from his monthly zombie outbreak, takes what was meant to be Liv’s last taste of “Thumb Breaker” brain. After that, we spend most of the episode watching Rahul Kohli having a lot of fun with something very close to home for him, but not necessarily very integral to the plot at hand. It did lend itself to some hilarious problems for Johnny Frost, who got a little handsy and weird with Peyton during a televised broadcast with our new least favourite Seattle resident, Dolly Durkins, leader of an anti-zombie organization known as Concerned Humans Imposing Common Sense.

The actions of CHICS lead to some serious problems for Major, after they stage a bombing on a Fillmore Graves hot spot. We don’t see much of said explosion – those pesky budget constraints rearing their ugly head again – but we also don’t see a whole lot of the aftermath either. Like with the investigation Liv and Clive are embroiled in, this feels like a second casualty of a decision to split the story over more than one episode.

We do get some resolution where the cure is concerned. As we discovered last season, Isobel’s unique brain provided a full cure for the zombie virus. A new doctor working for the CDC, Charli Collier, comes to the same conclusion. With Ravi on a pretty impersonal and insensitive brain, he doesn’t help matters when Collier tries to bring up this discovery with her fellow CDC colleagues. Ravi convinces her of the ramifications of doing so before it’s too late, though. It makes sense to introduce someone like Collier at this point in the game. With a handful of episodes left until the end, we need to get a viable cure on the table, and it seems like Ravi has exhausted most of his resources at this point, and Collier seems like a natural ally, despite what Ravi might have done on “Thumb Breaker” brain to harm that potential alliance.

Plus

Liv's reaction to Ravi's attempts to overcome "Thumb Breaker" brain was hilarious: " I feel like I just watched the Gollum-Smeagol scene from Two Towers."

Thumb Breaker brain wasn't happy with Aly Michalka's new haircut, but I sure as hell am digging it.

Justin is still a part of Fillmore Graves, and is second hand to Commander Lilywhite.

Liv decided to help a foster kid get into Seattle, but the kid in question chose to bring his foster sisters with him and they were caught before they could get into the city. Maybe we'll see more of this plot play out next week, which would be great since Francis Capra played a big part in it, and I relish any chance to see a former Veronica Mars alum in action.

He Said, She Said

Ravi: "Liv, it's happening. I should've known last night when I was more interested in eating the pizza guy than the pizza itself. My monthlies."

Blaine: "I wanna keep my hands clean. It's taken me so long to get them this way."

I was hoping for a bigger and better start to iZombie's final season than this, but it did throw a curve ball by closing on a "to be continued" screen, essentially cutting of the stories mid-stream. Next week should give us a clearer idea of what this season is trying to accomplish.

6 out of 10 fish and chips trucks.

Panda

[goodproofingwater]

Wildfire Records: Breaking America - Chapter Seven

word count: 1621

Three weeks passed since that night and each day got better. Andy and Victoria no longer had the air of tension between them and Josh could feel it too, relieved that he no longer had to worry about Andy making a move as he had done before. Danny and Juliet could feel the group becoming more relaxed, and it was nice that for once they weren’t stuck in the middle of something. For once, there were weeks where there was no drama, just gig after gig of pure fun and messing around, of after parties and new revelations of just how fun Andy was when he wasn’t on coke.

The hardest evening had been when his dealer had shown up to one of their parties, and although he had struggled with the temptation he ultimately told the guy to leave. Josh and Danny pat him down and searched him after for good measure, but it seemed that the groups were working.

He was making such a successful recovery that his addiction specialist even signed off on a tour, although Victoria and Juliet had called a meeting to give them the details so he hadn’t been able to offer his doctor any more information than that he may have to remotely access the meetings.

The girls sat at the dining table as the boys moved from the studio, Victoria almost bouncing she was so excited by the news that they were about to share. Josh grinned at her and moved around the table, kissing her forehead softly before he sat down beside her, grabbing a crisp from the bowl in the middle of the table and eyeing Danny and Andy who sat on opposite ends of the table, Juliet’s fingers slipping into his friend’s hand automatically.

“So…” Andy started, leaning back on the chair as his fingers tapped softly on the table, “what’s this big news then?”

“Yeah why’d you call an official meeting when you could have just told us..” Josh grinned, leaning forward, his eyes narrowing as he looked between his girlfriend and Juliet, their behaviour unlike anything he had seen before.

“Well…” Juliet started, “i know we mentioned we booked a tour…”

“King, I don’t mean to rush you but Vic looks like she’s gonna vibrate of her chair if you don’t—“

“America!” Victoria extolled, her voice louder than she had intended and the boys looked at her with a mixture of amusement and confusion, Juliet’s eyes rolling back as she shook her head. “We booked you an American tour!”

The boys looked between the three of them, smiles growing as the idea settled in their minds.

“Are you kidding?” Danny was the first to speak, excitement radiating from him in waves

“Where are we touring?” Josh took Victoria’s hand as he spoke, kissing the back of it absentmindedly and it caused butterflies in her already excited mind.

“We’re gonna tour the entire west coast. We’ll start in Washington and make our way down stopping in Oregon, Nevada, Arizona and of course Cali..”

“Are we gonna do a homecoming show?!” Andy gushed, “where are we playing—“

“The Fillmore auditorium” Andy and Victoria spoke at the same time and he got so excited he had to stand up, throwing his hands up and then behind his head.

“Oh my GOD, girls this is so sick, I’ve wanted to play there since we saw Linkin Park there when we were like 10 years old, this is crazy!”

“Oh my god we’re going to be performing on the same stage as Chester…” Danny’s eyes kind of glossed over for a moment before Juliet squeezed his hand, and Josh had chosen to show his excitement instead by locking lips with VIctoria once more.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers, kissing her nose once before he joined the conversation, Danny, Andy and himself talking about the Linkin Park show and what they wanted to do for the US tour.

It was lucky the girls had already sorted out the logistics because there was no way of getting sense from the boys. They had already started planning who they were going to invite to which show when it hit Josh that they needed much more information.

“How are we affording this?” He asked, slipping his fingers into his girlfriends’ again and she chuckled as the other settled at Josh’s question, as if they too hadn’t even considered it. “Flights to the west coast are like $600 each”

“We had a generous donation to our company last week, and while Juliet and I were talking about investing it in getting some vinyl printed..” she looked at Josh and shook her head as he went to talk, knowing he was going to suggest they get vinyl printed anyway, “we thought it best that we try and take you guys stateside.”

“A generous donation?” Danny’s brow furrowed and Juliet nodded,

“From an anonymous person on the gofundme page we set up when Andy left The Dangers..”

“The only identifying information was a weird mix of letters, RdEM.”

Andy couldn’t help the small smile that washed over his features, his heart fluttering a little. “That’s my dad..”

Victoria’s features softened as she saw the look on Andys face, but in a moment it was gone, as if he didn’t want anyone to see the weakness that came from his relationship with his father. She wondered if anyone but her really knew how far it went, if their relationship had gotten to a level so quickly because he had opened up to her in a way he had never with anyone else.

“Good. I’m glad he’s paying for us to go over there. I wanna smash out a huge show at The Fillmore and show him that he’s an asshole for the bullshit he tried before.”

Josh placed a hand on Andy’s shoulder, smiling and before long the boys were back in the studio practicing even harder.

—

A month later they were on the plane, Victoria desperately gripping at Josh’s hand as her fear of flying manifested during both take off and landing. It didn’t make it easier that Andy kept making jokes about the plane crashing. Danny and Juliet almost immediately fell asleep in each other’s arms, and they slept the entire 10 hour flight.

Once they arrived in Seattle, the group immediately made their way to the hotel, Juliet and Danny the only spritely ones out of the group as the other three had spent the 10 hours watching movies and drinking in a deadly cycle which saw Andy make a joke about crashing, Victoria freaking out he might have something there and Josh ordering another 6 beers for the three of them.

It was lucky that they had thought to arrive the day before they picked up the bus, the schedule being otherwise so tightly packed that there would just be no time for hangovers or falling asleep in hotel rooms which is exactly what happened with all three of those who had not slept during the flight. Danny and Juliet took the time to take in the sights of Seattle, visiting museums and galleries but saving the space needle for a time when they were all back together.

The following morning, Victoria awoke entangled in bedsheets she didn’t remember falling into, with Josh on one side and Andy on the other, a situation she had never thought she would find herself in and one which made her chuckle so much that it woke both of them up.

Andy, ever grumpy in the mornings even when he was on uppers, immediately shoved her to shut her up, and climbed from the bed to move to his own room, Josh and Victoria showering and dressing together in a routine that took them an hour longer than usual.

“What the hell took you so long?” Juliet spoke as Josh and Victoria joined her, Danny and Andy in the lobby of the hotel, although the love bites on Josh’s neck should have been enough of an answer. “Oh Jesus…”

Uber got them to the office of the tour vehicle company they were using, and because Josh had expected them to be picking up a transit van which had some extra leg room for them to sleep in, the bus that turned the corner after Victoria had spoken to the man on reception was mind blowing.

The red and white bus was bigger than an average school bus, and looked similar to the bus that the band had caught a glimpse of when they had tried to meet Linkin Park when they were younger.

“V..” Josh spoke, shaking his head, completely lost for words. Andy swallowed thickly as the man from reception threw him the keys, and they opened the door to one of the most surreal experiences of their lives.

The bus had three sets of bunk beds, two opposite each other and one opposite the stairs to the bathroom, a kitchen, a dining room area and a living area at the back which had a tv, a playstation and games. It was much more luxurious than the girls had expected it to be, and it was a shock even to them what they had afforded. Although they had used the anonymous donation to pay for flights, the cost of the bus was taken from the money that Wildfire had already earned from royalties, merch sales and gig fees. Any concern that Victoria had that they would overspend was now washed away, especially when their driver pulled in to the first petrol station and gas was at least half the price of petrol in England.

This was going to be even better than they had imagined.

[welcometoteamz]

verse.    »    canon

Blaine as presented in the iZombie canon. Willing to write him at any point in time during any season. open to all.

verse.    »    i don’t think he’s faking

So there was a year long hiatus between seasons 2 and 3 where I wrote Blaine’s amnesia as being a legit and lasting thing, and he forged new dynamics and relationships with folk. i didn’t want to throw all that out so. he has Blaine’s history, but basically he becomes a new character with the same name/face . selectively open to mutuals.

verse.    »    new and improved version

Blaine tells Peyton when his memories return, and he makes a genuine effort to turn his life around. In her words, his memories come back, but he stays this new and improved version of Blaine. who is honest and doesn’t let his own fears and insecurities and accountability skirting fuck things up for himself. selectively open to mutuals.

verse.    »   bye bitch Blaine never feeds Angus and he’s left to turn Romero and eventually decompose at the bottom of the well.

open to all

verse.    »    untitled DuBeers verse

Rita survived getting shot in the head, and due to having no where else to turn went to Blaine. The two struck up a partnership/kinship/cute yet mischievous little dynamic. pretty much exclusive to @fairisfair, but if anyone wants threads set in that verse they can let me know.

verse.    »    teenage dirtbag

Blaine prior to the iXombie series, where he is a high school/uni student who eventually turns to selling underage kids beer which turns to him pushing drugs which leads to works for Boss after Angus cuts him off. open selectively to mutuals.

verse.    »    untitled au where blaine never started up meat cute

Yeah by this point he had turned Angus and carelessly turned Jackie but in this verse liv confronts him after seeing him with Dougie and Hutch. in this verse blaine didn’t know he could turn someone via sex, but after the confrontation at the morgue and being unable to get drunk he needed to feel something and turning jackie was an accident. so now liv is keeping a close eye on him which means no criminal activities. exclusive to certain mutuals.

verses under cuts bc their descriptions are too long. 

»    the blaine didn’t steal the cures au/rob thomas is inconsistent

» the latter half of s3 and all of s4 were lackluster imo and i wanna ignore it them

verse    »    the blaine didn’t steal the cures au/rob thomas is inconsistent

bc i’m bitter. Blaine tries to turn his life around, but get caught in a lie and fuck it up for himself due to his own insecurities and fear of rejection. it’s more tragic if he still tried to behave himself even after his lie was exposed, and it was the hit from Angus that dragged him back into his old life after he got his retribution. like he was all angry but also defeated when don e showed up and told him they were taking his clients. he was just resigned to his miserableness. he was that devastated over losing his new life, nothing mattered to him anymore. and yeah. the fact he was with Peyton while lying is no doubt problematic and i’m mad at them for getting me on board with that and then pulling the rug out from under me…

But in my mind, he was still going to try and start anew even if she chose Ravi. even after his lie was exposed, and he knew he wouldn’t change how they saw him…he knew he was capable of doing good, and would have kept doing it. imo. He stopped caring about the business when he was in his depressed funk. Candy had to get on him about the orders. He wouldn’t have stolen the cures, because in that state, he didn’t care. he was so apathetic about everything. it took nearly getting killed for him to have a sense of what to do with himself. and yeah, they showed him with the blue juice recipe. that’s what i mean by inconsistent. one episode he’s all “well at least i have this and i can be dastardly” and the next he’s drunkenly singing love songs and moping and neglecting the business. You’re telling me that Blaine stole the cures, went shopping for the blue juice ingredients, and then went to get drunk and sing his set? nah son.

Which goes into the whole “i think there was more to the Natalie situation than we got, but they changed it bc she left the show for a new one and they were reduced back to 13 eps.”

Not just the inconsistency of her having money, and of Oates not finding her like she said he would. esp. when she was amnesiac…but they had the bodyguard see Ravi’s ID, and note where he worked. There had to have been a reason for that.If she told him about the cure and used it to barter her freedom.If she sold the information to them or something…because if she said she got it from Major, and his friend Ravi, then they’d know to ransack the morgue. For that matter, when she escaped, you don’t think they’d go looking for her with the guys who tried to save her from them? but like. if Ravi hadn’t slept with Katty Kupps and if pavi had sailed in s3. Blaine would have kept working as a lounge singer while also doing shady plots stuff, and he would have been content.

Which goes to ways Blaine could have gotten out of his lie, that someone like Blaine would have thought about. Like.

Why not just get out of his lie with another lie? It would have been in character. Lie and say Ravi’s memory serum works. Major is injected with both at the same time, no one thinks anything of it when his memories come back. then do the same thing when a cure is able to be mass produced. Blaine gets to be happy and be with Peyton. Yes he loses the brain business, but I think he’d be willing to give that up for a fresh start and someone who loves him. Even if he gains it through bad and shifty/dishonest means.

Let’s not forget that was the episode where he had to sign the millions in inheritance back to Angus. if he that had not happened and he had all that money to fall back on? my trashy lil dude is set. so yeah. that was inconsistent and Lazy and this verse ignores that. open to all.

open to all.

verse.    »   the s4 was lackluster and i wanna ignore it au

S4 was all over the place and Not Good imo. idk if that is due to the episode count or if they changed things when they realized they had promoted a predator... but you have the Renegade stuff, the FG stuff, and the angus stuff.

Which wound up being all filler. like. why not tie it all together and have Angus as the ultimate big bad? not that i wanted fuckface to get more screentime. but like. how about Angus’ cult his plan to team up with FG from S3? if Blaine or don e tell them?

IT DOESN’T EVEN COME INTO PLAY AT ALL IN S4 WHEN FUCKFACE RETURNS. NO ONE CALLS HIM OUT ON HATING FILLMORE-GRAVES, REMINDING HIM OF HIS PLAN. HOW AWESOME WOULD IT HAVE BEEN IF THIS WAS EXPOSED TO HIS CHURCH AND THEY TORE HIM APART LIKE THE HYENAS DID SCAR IN THE LION KING?

And they never mention Blaine killing chase’s brother/Vivian’s husband Harrison. Now there are two tangents I could go into here. the first is how Blaine storyline in the back half of S3 may have suffered due to Andrea Savage leaving the show for her own series, I’m Sorry.

It’s possible we would have seen her and Blaine face off if she learned he presumably killed her husband Harrison.  but like. they still could have done that with chase. chase is Harrison brother. he worked with Blaine. he is smart enough and would easily be able to figure out that Blaine was the OG brain supplier and would have been the one to kill his brother.

Once he no longer needed Blaine, i.e. was done with his blackmail? He would have but him in the guillotine. I expected this. I expected Blaine to pull the same card he pulled on Liv in S1. That without him, they have a zombie apocalypse on their hands. There was a brain shortage prior to the outbreak when Blaine approached him in the S3 finale. In S4 it’s even worse. There’s even a plot about Major tracking down watered down brain tube dealers.

Chase is a proud man, he wouldn’t have gone back to Blaine automatically… but after the US Government cuts off the brain supply in the finale, Major enlists Blaine to increase his operations.You don’t think that in the middle of the brain shortage crisis, Chase would have bitten the bullet and remembered Blaine’s proposal?

Ok, at this point, you’re probably asking yourself. “Mmhm, okay, so maybe that’s a better plot for Blaine… but then who did steal the cures?”

Again, see the last verse. Osborn Oates. Don’t remember him? Yeah, neither do any of the characters, apparently. He was the guy who was Natalie’s captor. Who apparently had the the influence to bribe Max Rager guards under Vaughn Du Clark’s nose. He was described by Ravi as being like a Bond villain. Natalie warns Major that wherever he goes, he’ll find her, but then… he doesn’t.

She travels the world. He doesn’t track her down. Even when she herself would have been vulnerable and amnesiac.

He doesn’t even try to track down Major and find out what he knows… if he was responsible for her escape. We know he is aware of Major. Major and Ravi followed he and his body guard.His body guard even checked Ravi’s morgue ID, and would have known where the cures were kept had he known about the cures.

Which… I think, Natalie might have told him about, in an effort to barter her freedom. Remember when we first met her? She said that since she was paid in brains by Blaine, who had become her pimp after turning her, that she ran through her savings and was broke. Yet… when she returns in S3, she tells Major that she traveled the world and had a place in Italy that she got thanks to her savings earned as sex worker.So… what is the truth?

I don’t want to speculate about a villainous Natalie. I actually liked her character, and she was certainly victimized and I don’t want to take away from that at all. Given her desperate situation though, might she have made some choices out of self preservation? Her own best interest?

I think there was more to the Natalie situation than we got. I think it suffered because they went from 19 episodes in season 2 back to a 13 episode order. I don’t know if her exit had more to do with propelling Major’s character’s decisions, or if because Natalie’s actress Brooke Lyons had gotten work as a series regular on the show Life Sentence. Maybe a bit of both? Maybe they did plan to kill her at the end of the arc, but the arc happened sooner than anticipated due to the shortened season? Knowing that they’d be losing her, they couldn’t carry that thread over to S4?

So instead they just dropped Osborn Oates, and over the summer Rob Thomas decided to change it to Blaine in S4 because no one would question it? Sorry Rob, I question it. You said in post S3 interviews that you planned to reveal who stole the cures in the finale, but there was no time so you’d get to it in S4.Really? That’s why? No time? If you had the time, how would it have come into play? The way it did come into play was Blaine seeking out Mama Leone, because Chase was blackmailing him. Are you telling me Chase would have done that in the S3 finale? That you would have seeded Renegade as a plotline even then?

I’m calling bullshit .I think it’s far more likely that plans fell through, and you needed the time to do a rewrite.

Even if Natalie had nothing to do with the cures being stolen, if it was planned to be Blaine all along…

You kill her off, and she doesn’t even get to confront Blaine? They never have a scene together? He’s responsible for her being a zombie, which led to her being kidnapped, and then held hostage.Yet he helped Major find her when he could have pleaded ignorance. He gave him Oates’ address and let him know when he was back in town. He didn’t have to do that. He could have said that it’s not the address on record, and Major wouldn’t have questioned him.

He could have elected not to tip Major off that he was back in town, and he wouldn’t have been able to find Natalie and give her the cure when he did.I’m not saying this excuses Blaine of what he did to her at all, or that the two would have been “even” or made peace. Not at all. There is no retribution for what he did to her.It does however, go back to my belief he was legit trying to change. open to those who are interested.

[musicalravencreates]

EgoBang Prompt: Arin and Dan used to be a couple in high school. They broke up sometime before graduation and never saw each other again. Many years later, at a high school reunion, they spot each other from across the room. (I'm so sorry I just love stuff like this *wheeze*)

This quickly spiraled into something much longer than intended. Oopsies. Also, a lot more angsty than expected. Thank you for sending in the prompt! A note: Arin and Dan graduated the same year and are both in their late twenties here.

Dan had a lot of regrets in his life. He regrets not pursuing his music like he really wanted growing up, listening to his parents’ advice instead and getting a job at a firm. He regrets drifting apart from them, only connecting with them during the holidays anymore. He regrets all the stupid shit he did while doing pot, mostly losing his job with said big firm, which stuck him in a dead-end, low-paying office job he hated. But his biggest regret, the one that has caused him the most pain throughout his lifetime, was standing just across the gymnasium, holding a cup of fruit punch.

Dan’s mouth was dry, and he quickly downed his own punch as he attempted to get past the sick feeling in his stomach. He didn’t want to talk to Arin. Hell, he didn’t even want to look at him. He tossed his cup into the nearest trash can and quickly searched for an exit. Since the refreshments table was right near the doors, it figured he had to be blocking the main exit. His only other choices were the fire exit or the bathroom window. Neither were the greatest of options, but he figured the bathroom window would be the quieter, and less douche-y, option.

Having made up his mind, Dan started making his way through the crowd of his former classmates. He gave a few nods to the ones he had already spoken to and some he hadn’t. He was so close, feet away from the restroom, when he heard a voice call out his name.

“Danny!” Ross called and Dan stopped, instinctively glancing towards Arin. His head had perked up, eyes searching the room. Dan quickly ducked behind a large inflatable palm tree, actually grateful at the moment for the stupid tropical theme. He leaned against the wall, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Dude, what’re you doing?” Dan turned his head to see Ross standing off to the side, staring at him with an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed. Dan shrugged.

“Enjoying the festivities?” He offered, gesturing vaguely in front of him. Ross scoffed.

“Sure. Did Jenny Fillmore get hands-y with you again? Is that why you’re trying to hide by the men’s room?” He asked, peering around the palm tree. “Cause she’s pretty distracted right now. No worries.”

“No, I-” He shook his head. "I just… I saw someone I didn’t want to talk to, is all.”

Ross blinked. “Wait, who? I mean, I know Jenny’s a handful, but I thought you got along with everyone in our year. That was literally your thing.”

Dan bit his lip, fingers automatically reaching up to toy with the ends of his hair. “I guess. Look, it’s no big deal. I don’t feel well, anyways. I’ll just go home and-”

“What?” Ross took a step forward, shaking his head. “No, you can’t leave. You just got here.” He narrowed his eyes, looking Dan up and down. “You were fine a minute ago. Who was it? Did they just get here?” Ross started to peer around the palm tree again and Dan grabbed at him.

“No, Ross, just-”

“Oh,” Ross said and Dan slumped back. Dammit. He glanced back at Dan, smirking slightly now. Fucking dammit. “It’s Hanson, isn’t it?”

“No,” Dan snapped, face heating up. Ross’ smirk only widened.

“Oh really? So you won’t mind if I called him over here, then?” Ross made a move to step towards the crowd and Dan’s hand shot out, grabbing onto his arm.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Dan growled.

“Yeesh, calm down.” Ross peeled his hand off his arm, fixing his jacket. “I wasn’t actually going to do it. I’m not that much of a dick.”

Dan frowned, slumping back against the wall and closing his eyes. “Yeah, sorry. I just-” He sighed and rubbed his face. “It’s been ten years since we last spoke. And the last time we spoke…” He trailed off, nausea back to clawing at his insides. He swallowed hard, shaking his head. “I just wanna go home, man.”

“You can’t avoid him forever, Dan,” Ross said, voice soft. Dan opened his eyes to find Ross’ smirk gone, replaced with a look of pity. Dan looked away, fingers tugging at a curl by his ear.

“I can’t talk to him, Ross. He won’t want me too, anyway,” Dan said, giving a half-hearted shrug. “It’s not worth it.”

“You were in love with the guy. Sounds pretty worth it to me.”

“Yeah well, things change.” Dan stood up and gave Ross a hard look. “Excuse me. I need to use the bathroom.”

“Dan,” Ross started but he shoved past him, pushing the door to the men’s room open and letting it slam behind him with a satisfying boom.

The only other man in there, some long-haired dude with a crop top on he’d never seen before, gave him a frightened look before hurrying out the door. Dan glanced after him, unsure if he had just frightened someone into running away.

Shrugging it off, he walked over to the sink. He leaned against the white marble, leather jacket crackling as he leaned forward. His eyes looked tired. Frankly, that’s all he felt these days. Tired of his job. Tired of the same dates with the same kinds of people. Tired of the dismal mess his life has become. He’s so fucking tired.

He rubbed his face again, his forehead pressed against the glass. He really could just leave. Slip out the bathroom window and make up with Ross later. He would forgive him. He knew he would. Their friendship had survived worse. But, he knew/ if he left now, he’d regret it. And as tired as he was of his life, he was more tired of having regrets.

With strength he didn’t think he had, Dan stood up straight and stepped back up to the door. He closed his hand around the door handle, fingers digging painfully into the metal as he took a deep breath. He could do this. He had to. He went to pull the handle, when the door was suddenly pushed open from the other side, smacking him in the face.

He stumbled back, hand flying up to grab at his nose. He screwed his eyes shut, the pain flaring through his whole face as he felt blood start dripping on his hands. Shit, he really hoped it wasn’t broken.

“Oh fuck!” A voice said, obviously startled. “Oh shit, dude, are you okay?” He managed to force his eyes open slightly, squinting at the slightly blurry form in front of him. When he finally managed to grasp who it was, however, his eyes shot open fully, a curse ready on his lips.

Arin didn’t seem to catch on as fast. He stepped forward, making an aborted moment to reach for Dan’s face, before turning to the paper towel dispenser. “I’m so, so sorry. Is your nose alright? It’s bleeding pretty badly.” He snatched up a paper towel and held it out towards Dan, eyes scanning over his face for any other wounds. Dan swallowed hard, carefully taking the paper towel from Arin’s hand so as not to touch him, before switching it with his hand.

“I- Yeah, I’m alright,” Dan said, grimacing when a bit of blood fell on his bottom lip. “Could I get another?”

“Oh! Yeah, I got it.” He quickly swiped his hand back in front of the paper towel dispenser, grabbing at the towel impatiently. “Here. Really, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize someone was right there.” He shifted his weight, wringing his hands nervously as Dan awkwardly attempted to wipe his other hand off.

“It’s fine. No worries.” Dan was honestly impressed that he managed to keep his voice even, even as he felt the sudden need to throw up. He swallowed again, refusing to up end his lunch over this.

“So,” Arin said, watching Dan toss the bloodied paper towel in the trash. “I don’t remember you. Were you in the senior class? Or are you someone’s date?” He smiled warmly at Dan, which only made him feel worse. He glanced down, pressing the other paper towel tighter against his nose. More pain shot like a wave through his face and he grimaced.

“Yeah, I was in your year.” He said slowly. If he could drop dead now, it would be awesome. Anything to avoid talking to the boy who broke his heart so many years ago. Who didn’t even remember/ him? Boy, was that an indicator.

“Oh, you must have looked way different,” Arin said, chuckling as he gestured at him. “I don’t remember anyone as hot as you in my year.”

Dan yelped as his grip inadvertently tightened around his nose. His eyes watered from the pain, and he forced his hand to relax. Arin was flirting with him. Why the fuck was the universe so cruel.

He cleared his throat, waving away the obvious concern on Arin’s face. “I’m alright. Just touch the wrong part.”

“Should you go to the hospital?” Arin asked, stepping closer. “It looks pretty bad.”

Dan immediately took a step back, shaking his head. “No, it’s fine, Arin. I’m fine. It just feels bruised is all.”

Arin frowned, the worry in his eyes not abating. “Well, I still think you should get checked out. You could just not be able to tell.”

“Why don’t you let me decide that?” Dan snapped, instantly regretting it when Arin’s face dropped.

“I- you’re right, I’m sorry.” He swallowed, eyes flickering towards a stall before glancing back at Dan. “I’ll just-” He gestured back at the door instead, taking a step back. Dan quickly held up a hand, unable to stop himself.

“Arin, wait.” He licked his lips, trying to ignore the copper on his tongue as he spoke again. “You- You really don’t remember me?”

“Should I?” Arin asked, looking Dan up and down again. Dan felt his face start to heat up again. “What’s your name, again?”

Dan stared at him a moment, hand dropping to his side. He could barely form the words. Barely wanted to. “Dan. Dan Avidan.”

The moment Arin realized, Dan wanted to fall to his knees in relief. His eyes went wide, mouth dropping open just a little as his gaze swept over him yet again. This time, however, his gaze lingered on his face, tracing over his features with such careful precision it was if Arin was comparing them side by side. The giggly, carefree teenager versus the haggard, depressed young adult. He must look so different now, he realized. Not just his appearance, but his personality seemed to have done a complete 180. No wonder Arin hadn’t recognized him.

“Dan,” Arin said, voice full of this disbelieving wonder Dan wasn’t sure what to make of. He made a step back towards him, but Dan stepped back again. Arin’s frown came back quickly.

“Long time, no see,” Dan said, giving Arin a hesitant smile. Arin just stared at him again, as if he’d appeared out of nowhere. Dan cleared his throat, unable to hold Arin’s gaze for long. “So, you remember me now, I see?”

“You’re not someone I could forget,” Arin said, and Dan closed his eyes. This was exactly what he wanted, and that’s what made it so painful. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to open his eyes again and meet Arin’s.

“It sure seemed that way before.” He said like he knew he needed to. The wound of that night had left had never really properly healed. Even ten years couldn’t erase the look on Arin’s face as he told him they needed to break up. That they needed to focus on their own lives and not try to make this work.

“It’s not worth it.” Arin had said, eyes cold. “We need to live our lives. We can’t pretend this’ll still work while we’re off at college.”

“I don’t care!” Dan had yelled, voice breaking as the tears started to fall. “I love you, you idiot! It doesn’t matter to me if we were on opposite sides of the world! I want you.”

Dan could still feel the way his heart shattered in his chest when Arin had walked away from him. He half expected him to just turn around now. Abandon him like he had all those years ago. But Arin didn’t budge, his body seeming to sag with the weight of what he’d done to them. He swallowed, staring at Dan as if the words wouldn’t come to him. He swallowed again, fists clenching at his sides.

“I never forgot you,” Arin said, his voice rough. He shook his head. “I never could. You know how many times I wanted to call you? How desperately I wanted to ask you to take me back? My heart broke the day I left you.”

Dan dropped his hand from his nose, tossing the soaked paper towel in the trash. He turned back to Arin, fingers itching to hold onto him in some way. He shoved them in his pants pockets instead. “Then why did you?” His voice sounded small, even to him. He wasn’t bothering to hide his feelings anymore. The hurt and the pain was just falling out of him now. He was pretty sure he was going to start crying soon if this kept up.

“I thought,” Arin gestured absently at him. “You wouldn’t want to deal with it all. The pain of long distance. I thought it was better for us not to have to.” He took another step forward, but this time, Dan didn’t move. “I was wrong, Daniel.” Arin breathed, eyes wide and pleading. “I was so, so wrong. You can’t imagine how sorry I am I did this to us.”

“You’re not the only one who let it go, Arin,” Dan said with a sigh. “I ignored your calls. Pushed you away. I didn’t even give you the time of day after.”

“And I don’t blame you,” Arin said. “You didn’t deserve to have my stupid ass begging for your hand. It was pathetic.”

“A little bit, yeah,” Dan said, smiling slightly. Arin smiled back and Dan felt his stomach relax a little. “I- I missed you, you know.”

“I missed you too,” Arin said, pausing before gesturing at Dan’s face. “Well, I didn’t miss you earlier.”

Dan blinked, taking a moment for him to catch on. He snorted a laugh, grimacing when the pain hit again. “Shit, ow. Yeah, you hit me pretty good.”

“You sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” Arin asked, and Dan sighed.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ve had worse.” He leaned back against the wall. “If you were attempting to knock me out, you suck at door fu, though.”

Arin’s smile widened. He held a hand over his heart. “You wound me, Avidan.”

“You started it, Hanson,” Dan shot back, giggling.

“Touché.” Arin bit his lip, glancing away for a moment. “Would you… I know you’re probably with someone and I don’t really want to try to immediately jump back into things with you cause that’d be really stupid and-”

“Arin,” Dan interrupted, catching Arin’s eye again. “I’d love to get to know you again. If you’d let me.”

Arin relaxed instantly, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d love that.”

Dan smiled, something nicer filling his chest this time. ��Me too.”

[starsandsquids]

Transient Boy

This is the most recent story I wrote for my fiction class about Logan and his family. I’ve had this idea in my head for a while, since the girlfriend was writing a story about Logan for one of her classes, and since I got stuck I decided to finally put words down. I love Logan a lot.

This was what the last piece of art on my OC Blog was written for

Transient Boy

          “Hey, Logan? You awake yet?”

          He never knocked before. That first year when I was sixteen he just came in here and woke me up by picking me up like a goddamn princess. He could still do that if he wanted, he’s strong enough, but he doesn’t. I’m pretty sure it’s partially because now that my boyfriend lives with us he’s afraid I might be naked, and if said boyfriend now asleep on my shoulder had his way I would’ve been. But I’m not.

          “Yeah, Dad, we’re both up!”

          And part of it is because he knows I’m still getting used to calling him Dad again since he came back from the dead.

—

          Tyler and Danica Kang were dead. She slipped on the icy curb, he tried to catch her, and together they fell to the ground, into the wheels of an overworked truck driver who’d already run a red light and didn’t see them in their dark winter coats. So Ty and Dani were dead and their four-year-old son, Logan, was at home with a babysitter waiting for parents he’d never see again. Neither of them had any siblings, his parents were too old to take on a rambunctious four-year-old, her father had passed and her mother turned a recluse who wouldn’t take the boy, and Logan’s godfather had died two months prior. Ty and Dani thought they would’ve had time to update their will. When Logan grew up he wouldn’t remember any of them.

          Darien and Priscilla Lemont were good people. Good enough people to take in a recently orphaned four year old with a head of floppy hair and only a cherished stuffed penguin with too-big eyes to remember his family by.

          It’s not to say that Logan wasn’t a good kid, but at that point the boy could still remember his young parents who’d had the energy to chase him around the house in a game of tag and hoist him onto their shoulders. It was energy these retirees just didn’t have, and it wasn’t fair to the poor kid.

          “I love you, Logan,” Priscilla told him on the night before the social worker came to retrieve him. “And someone else is going to love you just as much. Don’t forget to button your coat when you go outside in the winter, you’re always so eager to play in the snow.”

          Even after the conversation faded from his memory he never forgot to button his coat.

—

          Now, Jamie didn’t actually die. The man knocking on my bedroom door to wake me up isn’t a zombie. I just spent two years thinking he was dead because that’s what his husband—my other dad, Preston—told me. Dad just knew that if I found out how much the two of them were fighting before Jamie left, how mean Jamie got at the end it would hurt me more than telling me he died. I don’t think he ever expected to see Jamie again after that anyway.

          Imagine my surprise when I got home from the grocery store one day and my dead father was standing in the kitchen.

          “Dude, move, you’re drooling.” I shove Santiago off my shoulder as Jamie comes in. He doesn’t try to princess carry me, just stands awkwardly in the door frame like he doesn’t feel he belongs anymore.

          “’Sup Mr. Williams,” Santiago says, still half asleep. “Wait, shit, De Witt-Williams now.” Jamie took Dad’s last name when they got back together and had a vow renewal a few months back.

          “What’s up?” I ask. “Is breakfast ready?”

          “No,” Jamie says. “Not yet, but it’s Logan Day. The first one since…yeah.”

—

          Mrs. Amelie Fillmore should never have been allowed near children. How her own children turned out anything remotely close to well-adjusted was a mystery, but with them rightfully avoiding her she found herself awfully lonely after her husband died. She thought fostering a floppy haired six-year-old might bring a little life back into the house.

Mistakes were made.

          “You will sit still during dinner, Logan,” she told him. “Stop bouncing your leg. You’ll shake the table and spill your milk and I’ll make you clean it up.”

          “’snot even chocolate milk,” Logan whined. “I wanna go outside.”

          “You talk back again and I’ll hit you with a shoe. Drink your milk.”

          High heeled shoes made Logan nervous for years to come.

—

          Logan Day, aka June tenth, is what we call the day Jamie brought me home, the date I got tattooed on my bicep after he supposedly died. We didn’t really celebrate these past two years because Jamie was the driving force behind it and Dad was always on call. Dad’s an analyst but not the kind you see in spy movies. When people on cop shows shout, “We need to get a bulletin out, stat!” Dad is the guy who does that, meaning even when he’s home he’ll still have to answer emails and distribute information. Even then, we always did something on the tenth, even if it was just ice cream and a movie on the couch with his computer in his lap.

          Dad’s making breakfast when we all get downstairs. He’s a skinny guy with glasses who barely comes up to Jamie’s chin and Jamie always said he looks like the human equivalent of a Beanie Baby.

          “Sweet, bacon!” Apparently Santiago’s fully awake now.

          “I made breakfast!” Dad says cheerfully. Jamie goes to steal a piece, kissing Dad on the cheek as fare. “And I called in sick today, so we can properly celebrate Logan Day without my phone constantly going off.”

          “Are you going to get in trouble?” I ask.

          “I’m the top analyst they have, they can’t exactly fire me,” he says.

          “What do you want to do today?” Jamie asks like nothing’s changed.

—

          Clarisse Wilde was his favorite. She was young, close in age to the now vague memories of his parents and she always smelled like flowers from working with them every day. She’d let Logan help her pick ribbons for bouquets and taught him how to tie a proper bow around the flowers. Her best friend was the man who lived across the hall named Tim who aside from being white reminded Logan just a little bit of his dad. He was the one who took Logan to the park to burn off his excess energy when Clarisse couldn’t make herself get out of bed.

          “She was just feeling sad today,” he said.

          “She was sad yesterday too,” Logan said, dropping down from the monkey bars. “What’s she got to be sad about? It’s pretty outside. Coming outside might make her happy!”

          “That’s just not how it works, kiddo,” said Tim. “Brains sometimes get sad is all.”

          Logan had seen her crying into Tim’s arms once when she didn’t think he was there, mumbling something into Tim’s shoulders about how she couldn’t be the foster mother she should when some days she couldn’t even get up.

          There were some days after Jamie had left when Preston stayed in bed like he was sick, days when Logan could hear him trying to cry softly, and on these days Logan remembered Clarisse and hoped she and Tim were happy.

—

          He tried to do that when he first got back, act like nothing had changed between us, and at first it made me hate him. That was after he first showed up in our kitchen again after two years and Dad looked about to cry as he told me not to hug him, and when I overheard why he’d left when Dad didn’t think I was still in the room.

          “You told him I was dead?”

          “I thought you were dead and I didn’t correct him when I found out otherwise because finding out how cruel you’d turned would’ve killed him. He worshipped you, Jamison!”

          I knew it was bad because he called Jamie by his full name.

          That’s why I told Jamie I hated him, that Dad may be a hopeless romantic who forgave him but I wouldn’t, that I was here for the days when Dad stayed in bed mumbling “my husband doesn’t love me anymore” when he thought I couldn’t hear, and if Jamie ever hurt him like that again I’d kill him. This huge, ex-military wall of muscle who could rip me in half with one arm and I told him I’d kill him and he said he’d let me. Hell he told me to punch him in the face if it would make me feel better and I really wanted to.

          But I wanted my Dad back even more.

          And now both my Dads are standing in the kitchen, leaning up against each other while dishing up bacon and it’s easy to pretend nothing’s changed except for the grey in their hair.

          “Oh shit, yeah, this is a family thing. Do you want me out of your hair today?” Santiago asks through a mouthful of bacon to remind us all that he’s here too. Yeah, I guess a lot had changed in two years.

          “Nah,” I say, ruffling his hair in a way that makes it stick up like a hedgehog. “You’re family now. You count.”

—

          Greg Giovanni was an elementary school gym teacher. It’s a saying that gym teachers are mad they’re not good enough at a sport to be playing it and they’re mad they’re not teaching a real subject. Whether that was true or not it was good at first for a ten-year-old boy with too much energy to have someone who’d take him running.

          Living with your elementary school gym teacher sounds like a nightmare for many people who had to endure the class’ wrath and eventually Logan was no different. That eventually came when the man realized the damn kid still had energy to burn after running however many laps, and that being told to stop bouncing his leg and just sit still for Christ’s sake kid made Logan practically burst into tears.

          At least this one didn’t hit him with a shoe.

          The social worker was called after a neighbor got concerned by screaming match. It was the same social worker who’d been with Logan since he was four and who every time hoped this home would stick.

          “What happened?” she asked in the car.

          “He told me to stop bouncing my leg.”

          “And you screamed at him?”

          “No.”

          “Logan.”

          “He screamed first. He told me to go do wall sits and got mad when I kept moving.”

          He never liked gym teachers much after that.

—

          We end up going to a movie, some action flick where the one character was supposedly an analyst but he was out in the field shooting people and jumping out of the way of explosions. That always drives Dad crazy and I can see Jamie with his hand on Dad’s knee because he’s heard this rant before.

          My family is a pieced-together sort of mess. At first glance, Dad looks like the one who doesn’t belong considering that—out of the four of us—he’s the only one who’s white. It’s surprising how many people think Jamie’s my actual Dad and Preston’s my stepdad, not realizing they’re married to each other. These same people don’t bother to look close enough to see that I’m Asian and Jamie’s clearly not. I can’t remember if his mom is from Pakistan or Palestine, but the point is we don’t look that much alike. Jamie says he found Dad hiding in a sweater like a turtle and thought he was so cute he decided to keep him. Me, he literally found and brought home like a stray. Hell, he used to call me a stray, but he hasn’t since he came back. I don’t even know how I’d feel if he did. Then technically I found Santiago, dude’s been my best friend since I was sixteen. When his uptight religious parents didn’t like that he wanted to kiss me—apparently back before Jamie left they’d been talking shit about what a bad influence my Dads’ “lifestyle” was on their son—I asked if he could stay with us. It was Jamie who stormed over to his house and had what Dad called a “very stern conversation” with his parents.

          So I guess we’re kind of all here now because of Jamie, which is what made it so much harder when I found out he left. After all, he was the first one who actually wanted me.

—

          Elise Gellard was eight years old with very little understanding of how biology worked, and so she went to her parents and told them she wanted a big brother.

          “You mean a little brother?” said her father.

          “No, I want a big brother. I want piggyback rides.”

          The big brother she got was a twelve-year-old boy with floppy hair who was beginning to realize that people didn’t want him for very long. A boy who now had a little sister with almost as much energy as he had, who’d pick her up like a princess when she wanted and indulge her imagination. Logan taught her how to ride a bike and the whole family lost count of the number of times they found the two of them asleep on the living room floor, crashed hard after a day of adventure. Logan celebrated two birthdays with the Gellards and, for the first time in his life, he had enough friends to invite to a party. They would’ve kept him, they wanted to keep him, and had a snowy day in January gone differently Logan would’ve been adopted by Valentine’s Day.

          It was a snow day when the kids went sledding and the accident occurred. Everything had frozen overnight and slipping down the ice, the sleds went farther, faster. Logan told Elise not to be scared, that he’d be right there beside her. Nobody thought with both of them on it the sled would go that far, that fast, would skid into the parking lot beside the hill. Rolling off into the snow was something Logan never would’ve expected and he sat up in time to see her skid into a tree and flip in what felt like slow motion. Her crying he heard in real time.

          With her broken leg and stitches in her forehead, her parents worried she’d get hurt trying to be just like her big brother. Logan didn’t argue when they sent him back.

          A year later when the guilt had eaten at them, the Gellards knew their mistake. They called his social worker, wanting him back, only to be met with the unfortunate news that Logan had run away.

—

          That first year, when I was sixteen and Jamie woke me up with a princess carry, was back when I worshipped the ground he walked on. Back before he and Dad started fighting and trying to hide it from me and everything went to shit.

I hadn’t had a dad, a real dad who actually wanted me around and didn’t care if I got fidgety since I was twelve. Now I had two. That’s why I started crying when Jamie said they wanted to adopt me, I thought they were gonna send me back. I told him nobody wanted me, that the longest I’d lasted anywhere was a little over two years before something happened. Jamie couldn’t fathom that. I said it was because I had too much energy and if it didn’t have somewhere to go, I got cranky, and he thought that was a bullshit reason for giving me up.

          “So go running. Take a jog around the block, hit a punching bag, throw a cinderblock, hell if I know what kids these days do for fun. If it works, it works.”

          We didn’t do much that day, we went running and he said if that’s what I wanted to do on a day where I could have anything, I was gonna be an easy kid to please. We also got ice cream and he bought me new headphones since my old ones had a short in them. Just the idea that we could do whatever I wanted that day blew my mind and I didn’t even know what to ask for. He told me to start planning for next year, then, because I better get used to it.

—

          Bobby Nielson was evil. That’s what Logan tried to convince the boy’s parents the first time his new foster brother hid under Logan’s bed and grabbed him by the ankles. Before Logan got there, Bobby’s little sister, Carissa, took the brunt of his bullying. The logic was that a boy close to Bobby’s age would give him someone to roughhouse with and leave little Carissa free of the emotional scars that came from your older brother pretending to be the boogeyman. Fifteen-year-old Bobby took roughhousing as psychological torture.

          Maybe it was because Carissa reminded him of Elise that Logan wanted to keep her safe.

          “Logan?” she asked one night.

          “Yeah?”

          “Could you sleep in my room tonight? There’s something under my bed. It hasn’t tried anything in a while but I’m scared.” He thought about telling her that the thing under her bed was now laughing his ass off hiding under his, but he didn’t. Instead he brought a sleeping bag and a pillow and camped out on her floor.

          When he got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, Bobby jumped out of a hall closet. Logan punched him in the mouth and watched as he tumbled down the stairs after losing his balance. He was fine, nothing more than a few bruises, but the Neilsons couldn’t believe the boy they’d been nice enough to take in would push their son down the stairs. All Bobby had done was get up to get some water in the middle of the night and Logan had attacked him. Such was the story they were told and Logan never got a chance to tell them otherwise.

To this day he slept with boxes under his bed, leaving no room for anyone to hide.

—

          After the movie, Santiago insists on trying to win a rubber duck out of the claw machine in the lobby. For someone who does nothing but play video games, I thought he would have better hand-eye coordination, but he keeps missing the duck and trying not to swear because there are kids two feet away. Jamie’s in the bathroom, so for a few minutes it’s just Dad and me.

          “I’m not crashing your party, am I?” he asks. He looks tired. He always looks tired.

          “No, of course not.”

          “Thank you, Lo.” I can tell he’s thanking me for more than just that but I don’t know what else.

          “What’s up?”

          “I know it’s hard for you, since he came back,” Dad says. He starts cleaning his glasses on the end of his shirt. “I know you were mad at him and you hated him for a while there, so thank you for giving him the chance to be your dad again.” I don’t really know what to say to that.

          “Can I ask you something?” I ask instead. Dad stops cleaning his glasses.

          “Shoot.”

          “What made you take him back?” I ask. “He was so awful to you at the end there, I know he really hurt you…” We’ve both pretended that I didn’t hear him crying some days because he didn’t want me to know. I don’t bring that up, I don’t want to make him feel bad. I’ve asked him before and I’m not sure I ever got a straight answer beyond just that he’s a sap. He sighs.

          “I’ll tell you the same thing I told him when he asked the same question,” he says. “He’s my lobster. I know it’s actually a myth that lobsters mate for life but my family is from Maine, we liked the lobster sentiment and the phrase stuck. He’s my lobster, and when the guy whose nickname in the military was Scary McFuckface practically broke down crying because he didn’t know how to show me how sorry he was, when I saw that he kept his wedding ring these two years, that’s when I remembered why he was my lobster in the first place.” That gets me to smile. Dad loves lobsters. He even has a pair of lobster slippers.

          “You are a sap.”

          “I know,” he says. “And I know it’s hard when he tries to act like everything is the same as it was and that those two years never happened, but I promise he really does love you.”

          Dad always knows what to say. Always has.

—

          Gabriella Bresier thought taking in a teenager would be easy. No diapers to change, no elementary school Mother’s Day breakfasts to attend, no wandering hands smearing fingerprints and craft glue all over the glass panes of her cabinets, this was how she sold her husband on the idea. Surely a fifteen-year-old would know what “don’t touch that” and “you’re not allowed in there” meant and, unlike a toddler, would actually listen when told such things. She didn’t count on getting a fifteen-year-old with too much energy and a habit of being returned.

          “Logan,” she hissed one day, pulling him into the kitchen with fingernails digging into his shoulder. “You are fifteen years old. Your shaky foot and bouncing in place aren’t cute anymore. It’s just distracting, especially when we have company over. Do I need to get you tested? Is there something wrong in your head?”

          “Too much energy,” Logan muttered. That’s what the others before her had said. “Can I go running?”

          “At this hour?” she said. “You’re a child. If you get abducted by some molester what am I going to tell the social worker? That I just let you wander off when it’ll be dark soon? I don’t know what kind of unfit families you’ve had before but—” He’d stopped listening by that point, thinking her hypocrisy was astounding.

          The piano was the final straw. The closest Logan had ever come to playing the piano was little Carissa showing him the opening notes of ‘Joy to the World’ one day while she practiced for a recital. Logan hadn’t thought about that in months, but one day when Gabriella was upstairs, he wondered if he still remembered. It wasn’t like anyone else was playing the piano that sat collecting dust in the living room.

          Apparently, collect dust was all it was meant to do. That’s what Gabriella screamed at him when she slammed the piano case down on his fingers, reminding him how he’d been told countless times he wasn’t allowed to touch anything of value.

          He heard her on the phone with the social worker that night, saying how she “Couldn’t stand his attitude problem” and how “the boy isn’t right in the head, no wonder no one wants him.” He didn’t give her the chance to return him. He threw his penguin and the few other things he owned in a duffle bag and ran away while she was in the shower.

—

          We go to dinner that night at this buffet place where I can stuff my face with mac and cheese. Between me and Santiago we go through a lot of mac and cheese. In fact, I’m in the middle of stuffing my face when Jamie fumbles for something in his pocket.

          “So you know we’ve talked about moving,” Dad says, “since fitting the four of us in that tiny townhouse is something of a mess. We’ve started cleaning out closets and drawers and things, just to get the process started…”

          “And I found this,” Jamie says, sliding an envelope across the table. “It was shoved in a book. I meant to get it framed back when we first took it but someonetook it for a bookmark and I lost track of it.” Dad tries to put on an innocent face. It’s not hard when he really does look like the human equivalent of a Beanie Baby.

          “We thought you’d want it,” he says. “Since it’s Logan day.”

          Inside the envelope is a picture. Not just any picture, but one of the three of us right after Jamie told me they were keeping me. We all went out to dinner and Dad told the waiter we were celebrating and asked him to take a picture of the three of us. I’d completely forgotten until now.

          I can’t believe I ever looked like that, with floppy black hair falling in my eyes. I shaved half my head and dyed what was left green in some weird grieving ritual after Jamie left, and now a full head of my natural hair color looks so foreign in the picture, as does how young I look. This is how I looked the day that Jamie found me. He was right, I did look twelve. I don’t know how I ever thought I could pass for a legal adult.

          The changes in my dads are less obvious, but they’re there. They both look younger, with less grey in their hair. The scar Jamie got in those two years away from us doesn’t cut his left cheekbone in half. As much as things have changed, there’s a lot that’s still the same: Dad’s wearing a sweater in the picture—he claimed the restaurant was freezing, I remember now—and that same sweater’s still in his closet. Jamie has his hand on Dad’s knee just like he did during the movie today. The smiles are all the same.

          “Dude, you look so weird with normal hair,” Santiago says, leaning over my shoulder to get a better look. “I keep forgetting you didn’t always look like emo lettuce—Logan, are you crying?”

          And I guess I am. I didn’t even realize it. This is my family. We’re a pieced-together mess who’ve been through hell and back and grown since that last picture was taken. I don’t know how we found each other, but we did. I remember thinking I’d never have this, that people never wanted me because I must be broken and that maybe I should run away and stop trying.

          Turns out running away from that cranky woman with the piano that wasn’t meant to be played was the best thing I could’ve ever done.

          “Yeah, I think I am. I’m fine, I promise.” I wipe my eyes and pull out my phone before flagging down the waitress. “Excuse me, could you take a picture of me and my family?”

—

          Timothy Gellard was the name on the forged documents he’d bought with the money he took from Gabriella Brieser’s wallet. He didn’t like stealing, he felt it proved her right about him, but his hand still smarted from the piano cover. Gellard was for the family he’d almost been a part of, Timothy like the kind neighbor who’d taught him how to ride a bike. According to the fake documents, he was old enough to be joining the military. He’d practiced saying “I’m older than I look.” He was truthfully shocked that things had gone so well up until Scary McFuckface.

          Scary McFuckface was what everyone called the high-ranking man called in to assess the new recruits straight off the bus. His real name was something a lot more human but as soon as he walked in the room Logan promptly forgot it. Murmuring under his breath that he was older than he looked, the second Scary McFuckface saw him he ordered him up to his office.

          That was where Logan found himself now, trying to look eighteen and failing as the man glared at him from behind a desk. According to a metal placard sitting between them, Scary McFuckface’s real name was Jamie Williams.

          “You’re not eighteen, are you?” he asked.

          “I’m older than I look.”

          “I would hope so considering you look twelve. That hair doesn’t help. How old are you, kid?”

          “Eighteen.”

          “No, you’re not. Because Timothy Gellard as listed on your papers isn’t a real person. Who are you?”

          “Timothy Gellard.”

          “Kid—” He rubbed his face wearily. “You know this is a serious crime, right? Faking these papers? The fine alone is worth more than you are.”

          “Did you try checking again?” His confidence in this charade was waning.

          “Why are you so eager to die?” Mr. Williams asked. “How old are you, fourteen? Fifteen? What’s got a high school freshman so eager to join the military and race off to die? What’s happened to you to give you such a death wish?” Logan had sworn he wasn’t going to cry, but his eyes hadn’t gotten the memo.

          “I’ll just run away again,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

          “What?”

          “I’ll just run away again,” Logan repeated. “You can send me back, that’s what my last foster mom was gonna do anyway, but I’ll just run away again. Do people still run away and join the circus? Because that’s what I’ll do if you send me back.”

For a moment Scary McFuckface looked genuinely shocked. Then he picked up the phone.

          “Love?” Logan could hear a voice on the other end but couldn’t make out what they were saying. “No, nothing’s wrong, I just found a dumbass kid who’s obviously not eighteen who’s hell bent on dying, apparently. Did you still want kids? I know we talked about that before—” The man on the other end was yelling now. Logan could tell it was a man. “I know this is sudden but I don’t know what else to do with him! Preston please—I know, I know, Love, that’s why I’m asking—Did  you?—Well the guest room obviously, no one’s been in there since your mother came down from Maine that week you got sick. Okay? Okay. Let me ask him now. I figured I should—alright, Love I’ll see you tonight!” He hung up with the other man still yelling.

          “What was that all about?” Logan asked.

          “That was my husband,” said Mr. Williams. “He’s sweet, always wanted kids, and he’s on board so if you want, I’ll make you a deal. You can stay with us, sleep in our guest room until we figure out what to do with you and you won’t get in any trouble. But when you’re actually eighteen you have to do something to actually make yourself useful around here, got it?”

It didn’t seem real. People didn’t want him. Mr. Williams and his husband would get sick of him within a week.

          “…Okay.”

Mr. Williams actually smiled.

          “What’s your name, kid? Your real name.”

          The desk calendar read June 10th.

          “Logan. Logan Kang.”

[filosofablogger]

Good Monday morning, friends!  Come in out of the cold heat!  So, how was your weekend?  In most parts of the U.S., it’s been putrid hot with little rain, and in most parts of the UK it’s been rainy and chilly.  If only we could blend the two, then we’d all have perfect weather!  Well, it’s the start of a new week, so let’s get this show on the road and start the week with some fun things, shall we?  But first, Joyful is back in the kitchen today, whipping up a few treats, so grab a snack and the beverage of your choice! (Sorry, guys … only one plate of bacon … you’ll have to share this week!  Larry … I’m watching you!  You too, David!)

Benjamin’s juice boxes — but he’ll share if you ask nicely!

                Every now and then, I like to take a look at the ‘Amazing Fact Generator’ on the Mental Floss website, so let’s start with a few fun facts:

The annual number of worldwide shark bites is 10 times less than the number of people bitten by other people in New York. Seriously???  I’ve lived in New York and never once been bitten by either a shark or another person!

Ironically, the only member of ZZ Top without a beard has the last name Beard.

The 1967 Outer Space Treaty forbids any nation from trying to own the Moon. I’m biting my tongue here …

Alexander Graham Bell, who invented the telephone in 1876, suggested answering calls with “ahoy.” A wanna-be pirate, perhaps?

The Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships are held in Finland. A recent winner said he prepared for the event by “mainly drinking.” Who knew?

See, now you’ve learned some new things!  Jolly Monday can be educational, as well as fun!

Define “emergency” please …

I’ve written before about people calling the emergency number (911 in the US, 999 in the UK) for things that … well, just weren’t real emergencies.  Here’s another one …

The West Yorkshire Police Contact Management Center said a call came in recently to the 999 emergency number to report their new appliance had been delivered to the wrong address!  Now what thinking person calls the police for this?  Why not call the store, or the delivery service?  And just what did they suppose the police could do?  I can picture it now … a bobby is putting the handcuffs on a man he just caught robbing a woman in a convenience store when the call comes through …

“Officer Holmes … do you read?  Drop everything and get to 11420 Sycamore Street … we have a missing freezer case!”

My favourite, though, was the one I wrote about back in April, of the  person, again in the UK, who called 999 to report her neighbor was snoring too loudly!

Now here’s a new one that I bet is a first! 

Wynn Hall, a farmer in Exeter, Nebraska, started the process of draining a pond on his property, which is used for pumping waters off his fields.  When he checked on it the following morning, he noticed a rather large object stuck in the mud.  He assumed it to be a some sort household appliance.

“I thought who would throw a refrigerator or a stove and put it in the pond, in fact, the deepest part of the pond in fact…why would that be down there? I took a picture and zoomed in on it and thought, ‘That looks like an ATM!'”

And indeed, it was.  The farmer said he doesn’t know how long the ATM was in his pond, since he didn’t drain it last year, but it didn’t appear to have been in the water for more than a few weeks. Hall contacted the Fillmore County Sheriff’s Office, which sent a team to haul the ATM away. He said deputies told him an ATM had recently been stolen in the area.

Are you in the mood for some ‘toons?

Now, I’ve got two animal videos for you today, ‘cause one is super-short, but this ticklish chicken is guaranteed to make you laugh!

And here are some of the most adorable polar bear cubs you’ll ever see!

Well, folks, I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you this morning, but sadly … my laundry awaits, as do your daily duties, so I leave you with one last thought … share those smiles, spread them around for others to enjoy.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa ‘n Jolly ‘n Joyful!

A Jolly & Joyful Monday! Good Monday morning, friends!  Come in out of the cold heat!  So, how was your weekend?  In most parts of the U.S., it’s been putrid hot with little rain, and in most parts of the UK it’s been rainy and chilly. 

[evilfairytales]

List of Stories

For those who can’t (or just don’t wanna) look at my blog in a regular browser and/or off the dashboard, here’s a list of all the stories I had posted here prior to that most discourteous annihilation tumblr decided to wreak on me. 

Note the lack of tags in the description for each story here in the post...be careful! They’re all NSFW. But also note that when you click on a link, you’ll see that particular story’s tags right up at the top of the page.

86 Those Thoughts!- Codename: Kids Next Door: Every kid needs a sick day now and then, just to unwind. But being left alone with her fantasies for too long might just make Numbuh 86 more wound up than ever!

Afterparty Pressure- Gravity Falls: Pacifica’s trying to unwind after the events of Northwest Mansion Mystery, when a latecomer to the party wants to get things started again. But when Wendy learns what Pacifica had been getting up to with Dipper, her reaction definitely takes Miss Northwest by surprise!

Attack of the Perilous Pumpkin Patch Girls!- Kick Buttowski: On Halloween night, Kick is unwillingly dragged along to a family outing at a Pumpkin farm. But when he and Brianna find a mysterious black pumpkin, it seems to have a strange effect on Kendall and Jackie. It’s tricks and treats for the two young Buttowski siblings as they find themselves hunted by two girls who aren’t interested in taking no for an answer!

Ashley’s Secret- Recess: *GRIMDARK* Spinelli sees the Ashleys bullying Corn Chip Girl in a way she never imagined, and she slowly finds herself in way over her head with no way out.

Band of Sisters- The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy: *unfinished* Mandy’s trademark hair band breaks, and the replacement she gets from Grim proves to have a peculiar effect on other girls. But is it worth it?     Chapter One: Mother-Daughter Bonding     Chapter Two: Extracurricular Activities

The Cindy-Trixie Power Hour!- Crossover, Fairly Oddparents, Jimmy Neutron: An appearance by Trixie Tang ruins the fun that Cindy Vortex had planned to have with Jimmy and Timmy. Now the blonde bombshell’s on the warpath, and Trixie needs to work very hard to make it up to her!

A Fairy for Gloomsville- Ruby Gloom: Ruby tries something a little different for her Halloween costume, and it actually makes her feel like a whole new person. One that can’t wait to share her new outlook with all her friends!

Ice Cream Special, KND Style!- Codename: Kids Next Door: Trying to cope with Numbuh One’s disappearance and her own upcoming birthday, Numbuh 362 holds a one-girl ice cream party. But when the prettiest operative in the KND crashes it, the two end up bonding over more than sweets.

Jazmine Gets Fearsome- The Boondocks: An almost-accident catches Cindy McPhearson’s eye, and now innocent little Jazmine has to figure out how to deal with the aggressive girl’s attentions. But who’s really trying to tempt who?

Miss Pataki’s Program for Special Girls- Hey Arnold!: Helga’s older sister Olga is tutoring gifted students. Lila quickly becomes her star pupil, and teacher and student soon find themselves exploring a new curriculum.

Necessary Roughness- All Grown Up!: Angelica sees Lil indulging in a very self-destructive habit. This unleashes a dominant, sadistic streak in the older girl and she quickly uses it to bring Lil under her complete control. Soon she begins to add other kids to her harem, using their forbidden fantasies against them.     Chapter One     Chapter Two: Collection     Chapter Three: Happy New Year!

The New Girls- Crossover, Inspector Gadget, The Fairly Oddparents, The Weekenders: *unfinished* A couple of girls transfer to Dimmsdale Middle School at the same time. Somehow, they manage to catch the attention of the school’s Queen Bee…but nobody could guess how far that chance meeting will take them…     Chapter One: Penny Settles In     Chapter Two: Living for the Weekend

Operation: T.R.I.C.K.- Codename: Kids Next Door: An ancient evil awakens on Halloween night, and it’s got a taste for candy. The KND assemble to fight it back, but run into trouble when they learn that its sweet tooth extends to sugar, spice and everything nice as well.

A Possible Pony- Kim Possible: Little Joss is having a new identity crisis, and Kim quickly finds things are worse than she could imagine. Joss needs help, and Kim knows what to do. It might be tough love, but in the end its the love that matters.     Part One     Part Two

Red Robins Don’t Fly: The Secret Files- Fillmore!: An undercover mission turns into much, much more for Safety Officer Ingrid Third. What can she do when the girl she’s supposed to bring down is the one she’s come to care for more than anyone?     Part One     Part Two

Riley’s Replacement- The Replacements: *GRIMDARK* With the daring boys gone for the weekend, Riley’s looking forward to the slumber party she’s planned. But she’s been forced to forget that Agent K and Tasumi have plans of their own…

Strawberry’s Berry Special Summer- Strawberry Shortcake (2003): *unfinished* Strawberry’s berry special friend Blueberry will be gone all summer and Strawberry already misses her. But Strawberryland still has problems to solve and adventures to enjoy, so Strawberry might have a berry fun (and sexy) summer after all!     Chapter One: Sweet Treats & Sneak Peeks

The Surrender of the Princess- Teen Titans: Captured and sold into slavery, Princess Koriand'r fearfully awaits her fate and her new owner.

Sweet Dreams, Lana Loud- The Loud House: A particularly nasty nightmare drives Lana into Lori’s bed for comfort, drawing the sisters into a closer bond than ever.

[sueboohscorner]

#iZombie Season 3 Epsiode 11 “Conspiracy Weary”

Harley is a zombie and Liv’s secret becomes front page news! Also, is Tom Cruise a zombie?

Last week left us on the edge of our seats as Blaine stopped by Liv’s and asked the best question ever:

“You wanna go kick some ass?”

YES!

This week drops in right at the moment Ravi is threatened to be killed by Harley and his roving band of idiots. He asks Ravi is he really thinks zombies feel pain and have emotions and Ravi comes clean. Instead of shooting him he simply pistol whips him and gets back to the matter at hand, torturing Don E for the world to see.

Suddenly, an unexpected knock at the door! I have been waiting a week to see Liv and Blaine do the ass kicking they hinted at and it doesn’t disappoint. Full on zombie Liv tries to knock down the door and Blaine, not to be outdone, comes through the ceiling. Finally, some awesome action on the show!

Liv finally breaks through, as a scared Racheal manages her escape, and promptly gets shot in the chest. She will be fine! But Blaine almost manages to get one in the head when Harley luckily runs out of bullets. The whole thing is finally brought down by the zombie army including Major and Justin.

I will ask again, WHY IS MAJOR STILL IN THE ARMY??? My theory is that he will get hurt bad enough that someone has to turn him into a zombie again. We shall see!

Most of Harley’s crew is killed except Harley makes a clean get away, of course.

“It’s been a hell of a day, you might tell your friends to quit pointing those guns at me.” -Liv

Chace Graves chats up Liv and Blaine. Blaine tries get all pally with him and doesn’t seem to take the bait but I am sure we will see more of these two. Mostly because I think Chace is shady as hell. Chace asks Liv is she can help with the police to find Harley’s compound outside the city when Justin interrupts with some evidence. Same models found in Harley’s truck were used in the Baracus assassination attempt and the Wally murders-seems like case closed although that also just seems to easy. Liv agrees to take the guns and get Clive to help her with the other stuff. She then goes to the aid of Don E who seems to be fine as he and Blaine eat raw brains out of Harley’s brother’s head. YUM! Liv joins in the feast as she thinks the brains will help her find Harley’s compound.

“This is a surprise! I thought you might have ethics or some such nonsense…”-Don E

Over at Ravi and Major’s, Ravi is rather curious about Major’s “sex fort” in the living room. You might recall Ravi has been with the zombie truthers as Major was having his fun with “Shady Shawna,” as I call her.

“It’s not just sex…she has many other qualities and I can’t wait to find out what those are as well.” -Major

Rachel arrives freaked out and nearly shares a kiss with Ravi before leaves even more freaked out when she finds out he lives with the Chaos Killer.

Shawna and Major are still in the bedroom as she tries to get him out in public. Major doesn’t much feel like going out until Shawna sex talks him into it right before she pulls out a friggin selfie stick to take yet another photo. I see these going all over the internet soon. She is certainly up to no good.

Meanwhile at Peyton and Liv’s, the brains have kicked in full time and Liv is waiting to talk to Peyton in the dark. Seems as though Harley’s brother, Bo John’s, brains are full of paranoia and conspiracy theories.

But, she does tell update her on the Wexler case which I am having a hard time keeping up with, seems like a constant for me with this show.

The next day at the lab, Liv brings in the guns to show Clive and Ravi. Her paranoia is in full swing, as she explains all the connections of the guns to recent incidents to Clive.

Clive says he can run the guns off books and also has information on a possible location for Harley. I don’t see that ending well. Ravi suggest they also swing by the Scratching Post to help kick in some visions.

So, at The Scratching Post-Don E and Blain, who also ate the same brains, are debating whether Tupac might be a zombie now. It’s a plausible theory in my book.

Clive suggest they all head over to Wham-Bams to trigger some more helpful information.

Meanwhile at Peyton’s office someone gives her Weckler’s personal effects from prison. The bag includes a picture of his daughter, Tatum the kid we saw eating brain paste last week. It also includes a key to a safe deposit box.

Over at Fillmore Graves, Logan, I mean Chace is being briefed while getting a spray tan. He gets information on where Harley might be hiding and enforces a decision to go after him sans police.

“It’s our turn now...” -Chace Graves

Back at Peyton’s office she talks Tatum Weckler into going with her to the safe deposit box where she thinks the missing memory card might be. They do find it and Tatum hands it over but before she leaves Peyton observes her having a vision. I guess she eats regular brains too and not just the brain paste.

Over at Wham Bams, the gang is trying to trigger a vision whilst debating whether Tom Cruise might be a zombie.

“I bet he doesn’t eat the brains of anyone under twenty-five.” -Liv

They have a three-way vision of different parts of Bo John’s brains but nothing comes of it so Clive sends Blaine and Don E downstairs. Liv has another vision that shows Harley knew he was being bugged in his truck and he was going to use it against them.

Which leads us to the battle field where Harley possibly has set a trap for the zombie army. Major finds out too late that it’s a trap and a soldier gets killed.

The next morning, Liv waits in the dark to talk to Ravi, who is sleeping on the couch so he doesn’t have to hear Shawna’s over enthusiastic sex with Major. She has some theories about the mine field incident to share and also decides to dig up dirt on Shawna-thank god! Of course, as I predicted, Shawna has a webpage showing all her stupid selfie’s with Major and also some juicy texts. I knew it! Liv has some crazy theories on her but…

“I’m going to stick with she’s crazy and she’s using me to gain some weird notoriety.” -Major

Rachel turns up at the lab, much calmer than before and wants to know all the information on zombies which Ravi happily provides her with beginning with the boat party massacre. I believe this is probably a mistake as I trust no one on this show.

Over at the police station, Liv and Clive get a visit from the ballistics guy which shows a match to the crime scenes.

Meanwhile, Major confronts Shawna and she tries to tell him she was just trying to show the world he was just a normal guy.

“I don’t want to be any story. I just want to go back to when no one knew who I was.” -Major

He dumps her anyway-no love lost there on my end.

The next day at Fillmore Graves, the boys are heartbroken about the death of their fellow soldier and Major discovers T-shirts are being sold with picture of him and Shady Shawna on them. Poor Major, (I feel like I say that often).

Liv goes to visit Peyton to discuss the Weckler case and watch the video off the memory card. The video shows him in the middle of a call to someone right after he killed the dominatrix. Peyton also let’s Liv know about the zombie daughter. They both figure out that Baracus must be involved but not before Baracus wins the race for Mayor.

Meanwhile, over at a local newspaper, some reporters are pitching story ideas when Rachel arrives with news that zombies are real. See? I don’t trust any of these bitches!

“You might want to make some room on the front page.” -Rachel

OH NO!

Clive and Liv head over to Harley’s compound after Clive gets word of a noise complaint at the address. They discover a weird outhouse with no toilet but there are no signs of life there until they make their way down a secret well. There is a body covered up on the couch and as Clive yells at it-Liv gets a vision wherein Harley proves not to be the killer.

Clive ends up shooting him but it doesn’t matter-Harley is a zombie now!

“I just killed an innocent man?” -Clive

No, Clive you didn’t! You simply shot a semi-innocent new zombie.

On his way to Fillmore Graves, Major listens to the fact he is back in the news after word got out he was selling t-shirts of himself for profit. I can definitely see it happening in this day and age but we all know Major is innocent of this smut. It’s Shady Shawna’s fault…or Skanky Shawna now. I have too many names for that bitch.

Major comforts himself by getting pissed and signing Irish Pub songs with the army boys. It’s the only place he feels he belongs.

Question, why do all these random zombies know the words to Irish Pub songs?

Finally, Ravi is walking down the street and discovers the local newspaper has written an article about zombies with Liv’s full on zombie face on the cover.

Things are about to get crazy!

Episode Rating: 10/10 There was nothing much better than seeing Liv and Blaine in action together! The final teaser gets major bonus points as well!

[goodproofingwater]

Wildfire Records: Breaking America - Chapter Seven

Word count: 1621

Three weeks passed since that night and each day got better. Andy and Victoria no longer had the air of tension between them and Josh could feel it too, relieved that he no longer had to worry about Andy making a move as he had done before. Danny and Juliet could feel the group becoming more relaxed, and it was nice that for once they weren't stuck in the middle of something. For once, there were weeks where there was no drama, just gig after gig of pure fun and messing around, of after parties and new revelations of just how fun Andy was when he wasn’t on coke.

The hardest evening had been when his dealer had shown up to one of their parties, and although he had struggled with the temptation he ultimately told the guy to leave. Josh and Danny pat him down and searched him after for good measure, but it seemed that the groups were working.

He was making such a successful recovery that his addiction specialist even signed off on a tour, although Victoria and Juliet had called a meeting to give them the details so he hadn’t been able to offer his doctor any more information than that he may have to remotely access the meetings.

The girls sat at the dining table as the boys moved from the studio, Victoria almost bouncing she was so excited by the news that they were about to share. Josh grinned at her and moved around the table, kissing her forehead softly before he sat down beside her, grabbing a crisp from the bowl in the middle of the table and eyeing Danny and Andy who sat on opposite ends of the table, Juliet’s fingers slipping into his friend’s hand automatically.

“So…” Andy started, leaning back on the chair as his fingers tapped softly on the table, “what’s this big news then?”

“Yeah, why’d you call an official meeting when you could have just told us..” Josh grinned, leaning forward, his eyes narrowing as he looked between his girlfriend and Juliet, their behaviour unlike anything he had seen before.

“Well…” Juliet started, “I know we mentioned we booked a tour…”

“King, I don’t mean to rush you but Vic looks like she’s gonna vibrate of her chair if you don’t—“

“America!” Victoria extolled, her voice louder than she had intended and the boys looked at her with a mixture of amusement and confusion, Juliet’s eyes rolling back as she shook her head. “We booked you an American tour!”

The boys looked between the three of them, smiles growing as the idea settled in their minds.

“Are you kidding?” Danny was the first to speak, excitement radiating from him in waves

“Where are we touring?” Josh took Victoria’s hand as he spoke, kissing the back of it absentmindedly and it caused butterflies in her already excited mind.

“We’re gonna tour the entire west coast. We’ll start in Washington and make our way down stopping in Oregon, Nevada, Arizona and of course Cali..”

“Are we gonna do a homecoming show?!” Andy gushed, “where are we playing—“

“The Fillmore auditorium” Andy and Victoria spoke at the same time and he got so excited he had to stand up, throwing his hands up and then behind his head.

“Oh my GOD, girls this is so sick, I’ve wanted to play there since we saw Linkin Park there when we were like 10 years old, this is crazy!”

“Oh my God we’re going to be performing on the same stage as Chester…” Danny’s eyes kind of glossed over for a moment before Juliet squeezed his hand and Josh had chosen to show his excitement instead by locking lips with Victoria once more.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers, kissing her nose once before he joined the conversation, Danny, Andy and himself talking about the Linkin Park show and what they wanted to do for the US tour.

It was lucky the girls had already sorted out the logistics because there was no way of getting sense from the boys. They had already started planning who they were going to invite to which show when it hit Josh that they needed much more information.

“How are we affording this?” He asked, slipping his fingers into his girlfriends’ again and she chuckled as the other settled at Josh’s question, as if they too hadn’t even considered it. “Flights to the west coast are like $600 each”

“We had a generous donation to our company last week, and while Juliet and I were talking about investing it in getting some vinyl printed..” she looked at Josh and shook her head as he went to talk, knowing he was going to suggest they get vinyl printed anyway, “we thought it best that we try and take you guys stateside.”

“A generous donation?” Danny’s brow furrowed and Juliet nodded,

“From an anonymous person on the gofundme page we set up when Andy left The Dangers..”

“The only identifying information was a weird mix of letters, RdEM.”

Andy couldn’t help the small smile that washed over his features, his heart fluttering a little. “That’s my dad..”

Victoria’s features softened as she saw the look on Andy's face, but in a moment it was gone, as if he didn’t want anyone to see the weakness that came from his relationship with his father. She wondered if anyone but her really knew how far it went, if their relationship had gotten to a level so quickly because he had opened up to her in a way he had never with anyone else.

“Good. I’m glad he’s paying for us to go over there. I wanna smash out a huge show at The Fillmore and show him that he’s an asshole for the bullshit he tried before.”

Josh placed a hand on Andy's shoulder, smiling and before long the boys were back in the studio practicing even harder.

A month later they were on the plane, Victoria desperately gripping at Josh’s hand as her fear of flying manifested during both take-off and landing. It didn’t make it easier that Andy kept making jokes about the plane crashing. Danny and Juliet almost immediately fell asleep in each other’s arms, and they slept the entire 10-hour flight.

Once they arrived in Seattle, the group immediately made their way to the hotel, Juliet and Danny the only spritely ones out of the group as the other three had spent the 10 hours watching movies and drinking in a deadly cycle which saw Andy make a joke about crashing, Victoria freaking out he might have something there and Josh ordering another 6 beers for the three of them.

It was lucky that they had thought to arrive the day before they picked up the bus, the schedule being otherwise so tightly packed that there would just be no time for hangovers or falling asleep in hotel rooms which is exactly what happened with all three of those who had not slept during the flight. Danny and Juliet took the time to take in the sights of Seattle, visiting museums and galleries but saving the space needle for a time when they were all back together.

The following morning, Victoria awoke entangled in bedsheets she didn’t remember falling into, with Josh on one side and Andy on the other, a situation she had never thought she would find herself in and one which made her chuckle so much that it woke both of them up.

Andy, ever grumpy in the mornings even when he was on uppers, immediately shoved her to shut her up, and climbed from the bed to move to his own room, Josh and Victoria showering and dressing together in a routine that took them an hour longer than usual.

“What the hell took you so long?” Juliet spoke as Josh and Victoria joined her, Danny and Andy in the lobby of the hotel, although the love bites on Josh’s neck should have been enough of an answer. “Oh Jesus…”

Uber got them to the office of the tour vehicle company they were using, and because Josh had expected them to be picking up a transit van which had some extra legroom for them to sleep in, the bus that turned the corner after Victoria had spoken to the man on reception was mind-blowing.

The red and white bus was bigger than an average school bus, and looked similar to the bus that the band had caught a glimpse of when they had tried to meet Linkin Park when they were younger.

“V...” Josh spoke, shaking his head, completely lost for words. Andy swallowed thickly as the man from reception threw him the keys, and they opened the door to one of the most surreal experiences of their lives.

The bus had three sets of bunk beds, two opposite each other and one opposite the stairs to the bathroom, a kitchen, a dining room area and a living area at the back which had a tv, a PlayStation and games. It was much more luxurious than the girls had expected it to be, and it was a shock even to them what they had afforded. Although they had used the anonymous donation to pay for flights, the cost of the bus was taken from the money that Wildfire had already earned from royalties, merch sales and gig fees. Any concern that Victoria had that they would overspend was now washed away, especially when their driver pulled in to the first petrol station and gas was at least half the price of petrol in England.

This was going to be even better than they had imagined.

[sueboohscorner]

#iZombie Season Three Episode Five “Spanking the Zombie”

Major is on a hard-core combat training mission and bullets are flying everywhere. He sexy jumps from building to building until getting stabbed 35 times. But he’s a zombie so he’s fine…

Ravi and Liv are at the lab discussing what we found out last week that the serum did not work on Blaine so soon major will have to take the cure and forget everything.

Clive has a case from two weeks ago….Roxanne a domanatrix hence, Liv is reluctant to eat her brains. But she cooks it up nice anyway.

Clive and Liv investigate the crime scene at Roxanne’s lair and Liv gets friendly with her whips. She tries to get Clive to play along but he’s not havin’ it. They hit the motherload when they find a camera in the room but the memory card is missing. Clive thinks maybe the killer learned his session was being taped got mad and strangled the victim. No Clive, that would be way to simple for this show!

Liv finds a leather mask and suddenly-VISION!

She gets a good look at the last man who wore the leather mask and what he looks like without it. Apparently, it’s DA Baracus, the zombie running for mayor of Seattle that we found out about a few episodes ago but haven’t heard much about since. Seems even zombie politicians are into the freaky stuff!

Not only that, whatever Ravi soaked the brains of Roxanne it made Liv’s vision stronger and longer. Vision Viagra!

Back at zombie army training, Major is feeling the pain. Fortunately, Ravi has supplied him with the cure to take if things get bad. I will admit it would be interesting to see Major lose his memory the way Blaine did. Or did he?

Clive and Liv are on the hunt to talk to find Baracus and they spot him at his favorite diner.

“The man of the people when he’s no spread eagle on a bondage bed wearing a gimp suit.” -Liv

Liv explains to Clive that the Viagra Vision juice kept her up all night with visions so she is chock full of information on this case. Baracus spills hot sauce on Liv’s boot and she tells him to lick it up. This little scene makes Baracus decide to take their meeting to the back room. He does look like he wants to a little.

Since he is a zombie, Liv doesn’t have to explain how she knows things. She can simply tell him she ate her brain and saw him at the scene. He has an alibi so they move on.

Liv had so many visions she’s keeping the sketch artist quite busy!

“Be a good little sketch bitch and pick up that pad!” -Liv.

While the “sketch bitch” stops for a snack Liv gets yet another vision. They bring the good old Johnny the weatherman, now anchorman, in for questioning! I love him! He too, has an alibi so moving on again…

Clive’s colleague tells him to stay away from the Wally murder case, personal connection or not! Clive realizes they cannot question Harley from the gun range anymore but he does have an idea to get him to talk to their now connections at Fillmore Graves.

Off to FG where Vivian has Liv tell the story of Wally’s murder and Harley’s connection, especially how he likes to preach zombie hate on the internet. She starts to tell her plan and we finally get a look at one of Liv’s long vision just from the people watching her.

Back to the sketch artist…

Where she sees a lawyer in the hallway which prompts another vision of said lawyer getting punished by Roxanne. Lucky for us Veronica Mars fans it’s Ken Marino! She runs after him to get his alibi. Since his alibi seems good, Liv gets bossy with him and they show him all the sketches of clients from Liv’s vision. He mentions a peeping tom giving Roxanne a hard time and is able to pick him out. Good job Vinnie! Or whatever your name is on this show.

We head to Blaine’s dad’s new zombie bar where things seem to be close to being in business. Blaine’s old lackey, baldy (have to call him that don’t remember his name), takes a trip down drug dealing memory lane with a local dealer sliggin’ the U. Baldy brings him back to the bar to party and to of course ask him, “You wanna be a zombie? It’s rad!”

Back at the station, Liv is bored so Johnny shows up to shake things up. Double whammy! Johnny and Vinnie, okay his name is Brandt, the defense attorney have teamed up. Well he arrives as Johnny’s lawyer. Johnny has information. He had been being blackmailed by someone who had video of him and Roxanne’s sessions. They planned to release the tapes unless he paid them 10 grand. He paid but now they want more. This puts Clive in a situation to catch the blackmailer.

Back at FG, Harley the zombie hater arrives for a meeting. Vivian has brought him in under the guise he is receiving a settlement for his brother’s death a Max Rager.  They pepper him with questions about his knowledge of zombies. While he spews his information, and spreads his zombie hate, FG men in berets (I don’t know why but it looks cool) install surveillance equipment in his truck. Now with eyes and ears on his truck they can find out exactly how much he knows and what he plans to do. (Also, if he killed Wally’s family). One important thing they do discover is that Harley knows the Chaos Killer victims are zombies and they need protection.

Meanwhile…at the Johnny blackmail drop, Johnny, Liv and Ravi play their parts. They easily apprehend the suspect and bring him in. Liv begs to interrogate him and Clive has his doubts on her intimidation skills. He forgot she was on dom brains I guess! She easily pulls a confession from the guy.

Back at zombie army training, Major is still looking worse for the wear. But good news for some of us, he does seem to take his shirt off often! He chats with his fellow trainee about a freezer full of heads he saw back at the base. The guy explains that they all have to eat and there aren’t often enough brains to go around. Suddenly, Major gets violently ill but he makes it back to the lab.

Ravi insists on giving him the cure. Liv argues if they give it to him the wounds he received in battle will kill him. Liv puts on her doctor hat immediately and starts treating his stab wounds with hopes to buy some time for his wounds to heal.

Back at the zombie bar aka, The Scratching Post, things are getting lively at the grand opening complete with specialty brains from Bangladesh.

Liv and Ravi keeps vigil by Major’s side until Liv sends Ravi to bed. He wakes up and she has to give him the bad news, the memory serum didn’t work on Blaine. I don’t know if I actually believe that but okay.

“Once I’m new me, will you remind me of what we meant to each other?” -Major to Liv.

Here come the waterworks…they reminiscence as I cry. They make love one last time…I cry.

Morning arrives and Ravi goes in with the syringe and explains what is going to occur. That’s all of the old Major.

Episode grade: 10-One of the best I have ever seen!