#i want to do like. an actual nice photoshoot with it and biscuit

[release-the-hound]

When kennel clubs say Havanese are toy-sized, they really mean it.

[jicklet]

Ted Lasso 2.03 Thoughts

I watched it once last night, these are my idle thoughts after that first impression.

First off: I can see why they meant for this to be the end of a 3-parter!

WE FINALLY MEET NORA. ♥ Of course this is the child someone like Sassy would raise. And of course she's still horribly embarrassed by her mother,  despite how cool everyone else thinks Sassy is.

Fascinated by the duality of Sassy, we see her in her off hours, but professionally she's off giving brilliant child psychologist talks at conferences.

(What must it be like to grow up with a child psychologist as a mother? Pros and cons, I imagine.)

QUESTIONS: Rebecca knows Ted and Sassy slept together, everyone present seems to know that she knows. How did this go down.

My favorite scenario:  After Rebecca apologized to Ted for hiring him to fail, the next morning over biscuits he blurts it out, not wanting to hide anything from her after she was honest with him. And she cuts him off with "Ted, I already know, Sassy texted me pretty much immediately the morning after." "Oh! Cool. Coolcool." "Yeah she said she had a very nice breakfast." "Oh good!" [super awkward pause] [Ted jumps out of his chair like it's on fire] "ANYWAYS" "YEP GOOD TALK"

(Yes I like this both for Keeley/Roy parallels and because it sounds hilarious)

REBECCA AND ROY, YESSS. They just have such a a great similar vibe, glad we're getting more of them. Nice mutual respect there. Liked the distinction that No, she didn't break up with John just because Roy said she should, but because what he pointed out was right.

We spend so much time with them just being people that I forget that all our characters are technically celebrities, so Nora coming in was really fun in that respect. Her just 0__0 over Sam. Girl same.

Jamie coming in to talk to Keeley because she's the only one (besides Ted, who he's putting on a brave face for) who's ever listened to him...... and her just, dragging him silently across the entire club and depositing him on Dr. Sharon. 😂 Yeahhh Keeley set up boundaries! Similar to her pointing him towards Ted last ep.

She does care about him but she is Not going to be his personal therapist, especially when there is a perfectly fantastic one in the house. If they're going to be friends, be friends, but don't just seek her out when you want something. If anyone is still afraid they'd put these two back together, I'm pretty damn sure they're not. Jamie currently doesn't have anything to offer her.

Keeley has her own office now!! (even though she crashes Rebecca's sometimes.) Shoutout to the giant Roy decal on the wall across from her desk. Love it.

Brief but beautiful check in with Roy confirming he's continued with the pundit job. "Tell us how you really feel, Roy!" "Okay, you're a shit manager." "Not about me!" hahahahahaaaa suck it.

And Sam............ God, this was SUCH a knockout episode for Sam. You know what I appreciate? How they let him be annoyed at Jamie. Sam got a little petty on the pitch! That's not a side of him we've seen before. He's not just sweet Sam who doesn't push back, he's tired of that dude's shit.

Especially with the rest of the team having his back.

They've all bonded! Oof, the contrast between everyone lovingly razzing him over his photoshoot, and Jamie jumping in like Oh I know this game! But he doesn't. You haven't earned the right to play yet.

Oh man when Sam got so excited to share with his parents that he did something great for them... Only for him to run into his dad's disappointment instead! ouch. That hurt.

The insidiousness of how DubaiAir SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED SAM... They knew what they were doing. And when Sam brought up that he wanted to drop out.... I think Keeley and Rebecca were realizing that, they look so horrified. Both of them had just been so excited Sam was getting recognition...

Anyways. Sam with the press, how amazing was he? Immediately taking charge of the narrative. I hope how nice he's been to the press in the past (like at the gala) helps him out here.

And of course Jamie: It had to be something this big to actually get Sam on the road to being cool with him. Not only did he step up to take on the risk alongside Sam, it was him finally saying "I'm not better than you, we're on the same team."

Speaking of what they know they're risking... Rebecca and the rest were just talking about the finances of the club have dropped after relegation, and now they've essentially told their main sponsor to take a hike. I don't want to lose any of our boys, but we'll see what happens with that.

oh man i completely forgot about Led Tasso. I'm sorry I know a lot of you loved it but I was peeking out from behind my blanket with something in the neighborhood of stress and secondhand embarrassment. Just not my cup of tea! The dark glasses were a very nice touch though, as a change from Ted's regular orange ones.

Next week... IT CRISMAS. YESSSS

Look I just rewatched You've Got Mail...... The setup for Ted and Rebecca to unknowingly meet on that dating app is so perfect, please. I wonder how they'd make it a curveball though... I'm thinkin.

OH. HOW THE TEAM WAS CELEBRATING BECAUSE THEY BROKE THEIR STRING OF TIES (WITH.... A LOSS.) I just love them.

I feel like that tumblr post where people are like "IT'S HALLOWEEN" "IT'S JULY"

[blu-joons]

Pregnancy with Namjoon ~ BTS Headcanon

Finding Out You’re Pregnant

Namjoon was thrilled to find out the two of you were going to have a baby

He had spent years looking after the boys building up to this very moment

It was a rare occasion as tears streamed down his cheeks, unable to contain his emotions which he usually did so well

He was completely overwhelmed with pure joy looking ahead to the next nine months

“I’m so glad we finally get to have the family we’ve dreamed of for so long.”

His parents and sister were thrilled too, booking the first flight to come and visit you both with lots of cuddles

From the start his protective instincts kicked in, you were not to do anything strenuous or lift anything

He decided not to tell the fans until you were both at a safe point in your pregnancy, he was very aware that the first few weeks were critical

The boys were ecstatic, although jealous their father figure was going to replace them with an actual baby

“I can’t believe I’m getting pushed aside for your own child, the cheek of it!”

He loved to spend as much time with you as possible, not wanting to miss any moment of your pregnancy

Being Pregnant

When, and only when things were given the all clear you felt comfortable enough to share the news with Army

He wasn’t the best with a camera, so with Jungkook’s help he was able to do adorable photoshoots as your bump grew

“I think I’ll wake up soon and this will be a dream, I still can’t believe we are having a baby.”

“Try carrying one, then see how dream like it is.”

He very quickly adjusted to your mood swings, just sitting back and letting you grump before cuddling you again

The fans were all so excited, trying to predict the baby’s gender, weight, and anything else

Namjoon was present always, any scan or appointment he was right there beside you

He carried a little notepad around to take note of all the things you were told to do

Joon swore by the doctor’s words, following them always

Your house was filled with pregnancy books, Namjoon had read every single one of them

He always had suggestions to make life easier, or surprise you with techniques to help your pain

Above all else, he was there to reassure you that pregnancy looked amazing on you and he was completely in love with you

Namjoon coped well with morning sickness, rubbing your back and moving your hair out of the way

Your labour bag was packed three months early, as Namjoon told you to expect anything

He had plenty of lists written with lots of notes for what was going to happen when

“I don’t think you can ever be too organised when it comes to having a baby.”

“Joon, I love you, but planning the route to the hospital when we are only three months in is a bit excessive, what’s to say I go into labour here?”

You decided to find out the gender to make life easier for you both, a little boy was what you were expecting

He was super excited to be expecting his own mini me

He couldn’t wait to get started on the nursery, although you definitely were needed to oversee things

You were forever calling out to him to watch where he was stepping before he hurt himself

Namjoon loved to speak to the baby bump and tell your son about your day

“I read that talking to babies, even before they come out, helps stimulate the mind.”

He would always offer his old shirts and jumpers for you to wear, dressing you in them especially as you slept

You always felt more comfortable in baggy clothes as your bump was a little less noticeable

But, Namjoon disagreed, you were pregnant, and all of this was completely natural

He loved to get the boys to take photos of you both, the more candid the better

They were always hanging around to spend time with you and help you prepare for the birth

Gifts were forever being brought round; your son ended up getting two nurseries just to make room for all of his presents

If you were at the studio, they always helped you out, listening to their leader’s instructions

He decided to nickname your bump, sarcastically referring to him as ‘bruiser,’ for all the times he’d kicked you

You were always around him so he could give his son a talking to when he got a little bit active and excited

“Give mummy a break bruiser, otherwise there will be trouble.”

He practiced early when it came to be strict, but fair, with his kids

Namjoon was always on hand for a cuddle, especially when you were having trouble sleeping and getting comfortable late at night

The first time your son kicked was huge, Namjoon couldn’t stop giggling as he placed his hand over your bump

You always made sure to grab his hand when he did to show Namjoon

He even created little raps to the beat of the kicks, sneaking them into BTS songs

Yet, he still sang to you most nights, even if it did nearly break your ear, trying to soothe the baby

“I don’t know what Jimin was talking about, I’ve got an excellent voice, even our boy agrees.”

“I don’t think that’s him agreeing with you Joon.”

You had major cravings for biscuits and cakes, Namjoon was always going on biscuit runs when you got hungry

Namjoon ended up filling a whole cupboard in your kitchen of all your favourite biscuits

As the birth grew nearer, Namjoon had practically put you on bedrest

He was desperate to make sure nothing happened to you, and if you were barely moving, he knew you’d be fine

Of course, you were both anxious, but you were both talking regularly trying to reassure each other

Namjoon was texting you every five minutes on the off chance you’d gone into labour

You had to keep calming him down when he got too excited that his son was soon going to be here

“Can you stop jumping up and down for thirty seconds and just remember to breathe.”

“I can’t, I’m just so excited.”

He continued to practice your lessons from antenatal so that you were nice and calm

Honestly, he knew he was going to hate seeing you in so much pain, but it was going to be worth it

Labour 

Your waters broke whilst you walked around the house, completely unexpected

Namjoon was at the studio leaving you all alone trying to get your phone

He was due to check up on you any minute, so as he called you quickly begged him to come home

Jin drove him back to yours, taking you both to the hospital rather than getting a taxi

“Try to not get any bloody or yucky stuff on the back seats of my car Y/N.”

“That is the least of my concerns right now Jinnie.”

You were taken down to your suite, resting on the bed whilst Joon sat beside you

The contractions began pretty small, yet soon picked up causing you a tremendous deal of pain

Namjoon struggled from the start to see you in so much pain

You chose to just rely on gas and air, the thought of the needles involved in an epidural terrified you

The midwives were amazing in supporting you

Namjoon was forever asking questions, panicking whenever anything happened

He was probably more frightened then you were

The final moments of your labour were brutal when the midwife arrived to tell you that it was time to push

“Just remember everything you’ve been taught so far, and you’ll be fine, and I will be right by your side the entire time.”

Namjoon continued to hold your hand, lightly running his hands through your hair

Beside you he breathed with, inhaling and exhaling

As soon as the head appeared, tears brimmed Namjoon’s eyes, there was something so beautiful that made him so emotional

Once your son was delivered, you couldn’t quite believe it, collapsing in Namjoon’s arms

All the pain had most definitely been worth it

Namjoon encouraged you to hold him first, sitting back and just lightly touching him

“I read it’s important to put the baby with mother as soon as possible.”

He allowed you to hold him for a few hours, he wasn’t entirely sure how much skin to skin contact was too much

His eyes were glued to his son, continually smiling at every little thing he did

There were a lot of tears, not even mostly from the baby, when you were left alone

Your son quickly tried to grab Namjoon’s finger, his tiny fingers clutching to it for dear life

The boys had already sent you lots of gifts that they dropped in during your labour

You had decided on a name after a great deal of debate a couple of months ago, it was about the only thing you could both agree on

Namjoon’s very gift for your son was a pair of sunglasses that Hobi had bought him to match Namjoon’s

The First Few Hours

Namjoon was terrified to hold your son for the first time, you had to force him to do it

“I don’t want to drop him, you know what I’m like, this is dangerous.”

“Love, you’ll be fine, just breathe and sit, it will all come natural, I promise.”

He was soon sending photos to both of your families to let you know of the safe arrival

When your son finally landed in Namjoon’s arms, the tears finally fell for you

You could see how close the two of them were going to be

You took a photo of them and put it in your group chat with the boys to let them know their baby newphew was here

Your phone soon erupted with notifications from all, excited to him

Surprisingly, your son was very well behaved, minimal tears were shed in the first few hours

Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for you two

Every time you tried to stop, you’d both look at him again, feeling a wave of pride overwhelm you again

“I keep trying to stop crying, but then I see that smile, and I just cry all over again.”

Namjoon didn’t let you move for ages, not until you felt completely pain free

He was happy to do all the early chores to give you time to relax, he was so excited to change nappies

Although, Namjoon had not realised it was such a fiddly job

“Why are there so many sticky strips, I just don’t understand.”

He couldn’t wait to take your little one home and introduce him to all his family, and most of all, all his uncles

The First Few Days

You went home two days later, to see his parents already sat in the front room with his sister

They’d used the spare key to tidy your home and make sure everything was perfect

Plus, they couldn’t wait any longer to meet your baby and smother him with affection

Namjoon was just as excited to have his family around to help adjust to life with a baby

“Someone else can hold him for a bit, someone with a bit of confidence that the baby is safe.”

It took some time for Namjoon to relax around your son, fearful he’d do something wrong

He was always present for feeds and naps, intrigued by it all

The two of you had a smooth system when it came to nights, alternating who went each time

He took a few days off from work, apprehensively leaving Jin in charge

The fans were told a couple of weeks later, using a photo his sister had taken candidly of the three of you

Namjoon had perfected lullabies, cuddling your son in his rocking chair

As a team, anything was possible, and you knew it

Meeting The Boys

You took him to the boys just a couple of days after you got home

Honestly, you were sick and tired of the calls and texts for them to visit you

There was a lot of screams when you walked in, Namjoon shutting them all up quickly

Jungkook was there with his camera to film the moments everyone met your son for a Bangtan Bomb

Yoongi was surprisingly the first for cuddles, he knew how long Namjoon had wanted a baby, it was something they’d spoken about nearly a decade ago, and now it had finally happened

Jin had a collection of cuddly toys he presented, the bigger the better

Hobi held your son, dancing around the studio with him, tightly holding him, waltzing around trying to make him smile

“Be careful Hobi, he’s only a few days old!”

Taehyung changed him into one of the baby grows he had bought for him

Jimin was just in awe, finally someone in the group who was smaller than him, not that a baby would be teased for it

None of them ever wanted you to leave the studio, begging you to just move in so they were always around him

They were back the next day at your house to enjoy more time with your son

The Future

Namjoon loved the baby bubble you lived in, embracing it for as long as possible

Initially, he found it hard balancing parenthood and BTS, but with your help he found a way to do it, making everyone happy

He loved you more and more everyday as he watched you blossom into the most beautiful mum in the world

“I definitely want our family to grow at some point in the future.”

In his head, his future was planned, a big family, and lots of uncles for all of your offspring

Namjoon was the luckiest man in the world, with the best people in his life

---

Masterlist

[1800pizzagirl]

Keeping up with the Kardashians, Season 17, Recap #5

I can picture all the times Kim Kardashian was slumped down on a wide-seat, plush couch with shoes on complaining that she is so tired. I feel that so hard to the core right now as I’m dealing with a cold that makes me feel like I was hit with a dump truck filled with DASH overstock. I am struggling to power through this episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians.

Every year, I slurp the Met Gala up, refreshing my Instagram feed like an overcooked vegetable just wanting to get that dopamine hit - what is Celine wearing this year? Oh BOOORING Ezra Miller is wearing a dress. Anyway, I was excited to see the lead up to Kim’s 2019 Met Gala look. I was shocked to see that Kim and Khloe actually saw what Kris was wearing to the Met Gala and didn’t stop her, this seems like sabotage to me. Somebody call the police.

It’s fitting that I started this recap talking about how Kim complains that she’s tired all the time. I get it, she seems really busy. She has to get in full glam, do a photoshoot, study for law school be a mom, sit in meetings, squeeze herself into a corset and latex dress and repeat it all again and again and again. Seeing her waist in that corset was mind-boggling - her body looked completely insane. Although, I get the “campy” vision that they were going for now; they were exaggerating her body to an extreme. 

This whirlwind week also happens to be the due date of Kim’s fourth baby is due; so she decides to have a CBD baby shower that looked like the Calabasas version of Midsommar. 

It was nice to see an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians where Kim was praising Paris Hilton and the influence that she had on her life. It is true, Paris looks just like she did in 2003 and it’s blowing my mind. As she put it, she has “reverse Benjamin Button syndrome, that’s hot”. I’d like to think that they have had this supportive friendship and mutual respect for each other but I’m sure that there was some drama over the last 15 years. 

In the spirit of friendship, Paris asked Kim to be in her new music video. Kayne said that her song was “bomb” and that she should ask French to have a verse on it. Honestly, I am suspicious of his opinion. 

This is a very Kim-focused episode, so to sprinkle in some additional storylines, they showed Kourtney being robbed by one of her employees. She seemed pretty relaxed to be hacked and having thousands of dollars stolen from her but I guess that’s the privilege of being filthy rich, just sage your problems away. 

On the night before the Met Gala, during Kim’s final fitting, Kanye decides to tell her that he’s not into how she’s showing off her body and that he’s not into the corset because he’s on a different journey now. Honestly, I could barely make sense of what he was saying, but I was proud of Kim for standing up for herself and telling him that she can do her own thing too. I can see how Kanye’s energy has probably influenced a lot of what she’s done over the years and he probably has a hissy fit everytime she disagrees with him. 

As this episode is airing approximately 5 months after the Met Gala, we all know what everyone looked like. Kris wore this terrible blonde wig and I have no idea who let her out of the house, Kendall and Kylie looked like the evil stepsisters in Cinderella and Kim was dripping in latex and urine? Listen, I love comfort so much so it’s completely unfathomable for me that I would spend an entire evening with my organs squeezed into a Pillsbury biscuit can, not being able to pee and being OK with peeing on my legs if necessary. This is a commitment to fashion that my raggedy ass will never understand. 

Despite the hectic week, Kim is able to make it back to LA before her surrogate gives birth. Unfortunately, her baby is breech and needs an aversion? These are all terms I just learned and I don’t exactly understand how this works, but seems like it’s not good. Ultimately, we know that the baby was born and let’s hope that the surrogate was OK too. Anyway I need to put myself in a Nyquil induced coma now, until next week my five faithful readers. XOXO.  

[maddielivesinbooks]

Well folks I’m back, and I have something to say: I am a flop, and this reading blog is proof of that. For Spring Break, I challenged myself to read six books in week. It did not go well. So, without any further ado, here is my Week In Reading #2.

Monday, April 1

Happy April Fool’s! Today I read a whole book! Just kidding! April Fool’s. I forgot to take note of anything I read today. Mainly because I barely read anything. Let’s recap the day.

11:00 AM: I sleep in because I have no plans for the day. When I get out of bed, I begin to look for food and decided that for breakfast I need to make cheesy pasta dish. Maybe I’ll turn on the audiobook I have, Bowlaway by Elizabeth McCracken. Ha! Why would I do that? It’s not like it’s one of my most anticipated books of the year! I listen to podcasts, despite the fact that this book is due in four days and there are nine people waiting for it.

12:00 PM: My food wasn’t that good and I kind of feel sick. Naturally, I nap and sort of listen to Bowlaway. What’s it about, you ask? To that I say, um I don’t know, bowling? I like it, and the writing is super nice and pretty but the plot is kind of lost on me.

3:00 PM: After hours of doing nothing, I finally pick up a book, The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater. You know one, the book I have been working on for two weeks, even though I’ve already read it twice. That good news is, it’s very good and I think I’ll finish it. The bad news is, I don’t think that’ll happen now because my cat has appeared on my lap and is munching on the pages and getting hair all over it.

5:00 PM: I did it! I finished the book. I loved it. Just like I did when I read it April of 2017, and February of 2018. Now I should probably read something new, like one of the seven library books I brought home with me for spring break.

6:00 PM: I listen to Bowlaway while on the treadmill. I still don’t get what’s happening.

Bedtime PM: What the heck did I do all night? I don’t know. Eat, probably. Listen to podcasts, probably.  Bother my cat, probably. Not listen to Bowlaway, probably.

  Tuesday April 2

10:AM: Good morning fans and haters! Today I am going to be productive. I am going to read, I am going to exercise, I am going to cook, I am going read. I start the day scrambling eggs, and you guessed it, listening to podcasts. Bowlaway? I don’t know her.

I also go to my grandma’s to do some cleaning. While there, I listen to my audiobook for about five minutes, before deciding it would be better to listen to a podcast. Whose surprised? Not me.

1:00 PM: Once home, I start another book, We Set The Dark On Fire by. I’ve been anticipating this book for a while, so I’m actually excited to read it. I’m hooked immediately. The story is action packed, and the world is compelling. I pretty much figure out who the love interest is right when they first appear, and I’m super into this f/f romance.

2:00 PM: I turn on Bowlaway and fall asleep.

4:00 PM: I read more of We Set the Dark, and actually get through a big chunk of it. It’s not my favorite thing, but it’s quick and easy.

5:00 PM: Its dinner time, and I volunteer to cook. My family is big into healthy eating, so I make a Shepherd’s Pie with ground turkey and mashed cauliflower. I don’t know why I’m including this, maybe just to brag, because I can assure you that all I did while cooking was listen to podcasts.

Bedtime PM: Once again, I do not know what I did all night. I read a lot of my book, and listened to Bowlaway. I really need to hurry up with this audiobook because its due on Friday and I am only four hours in. Despite not knowing what’s happening, I actually dig it. I mean, there’s a character named Louetta Mood! Incredible.

Wednesday April 3

8:AM-9:PM: I wake up, feeling like death warmed over. Apparently, my body is weak and lets in whatever germs it wants. Unfortunately, I have dedicated myself to spending the day with my grandmother. We shop and get lunch, and after I almost lay down and take nap on the floor of Kohl’s, we go to the walk-in.

We head home late in the afternoon, and I’m armed with tissues, nasal spray and a venti green tea. Even though I just want to sleep, I try to read my book, and listen to Bowlaway. Only *spoiler alert* when you are feeling feverish, a book about bowling and the Great Molasses Flood isn’t actually ideal. I watch Bob’s Burgers instead.

Thursday April 4

10:00 AM: After a good night’s sleep, several doses of nasal spray and enough Dayquil to make me forget what happened on last night’s Survivor, I am feeling a little better. In fact, I finish We Set The Dark On Fire in the morning. And I’m super conflicted. It follows our main character, Dani, after she graduates a school that trains women to be wives and marries a power-hungry military man. She becomes a spy for a resistance group, and the story continues from there. I liked a lot of it, mainly the fast pace, the parallels to our modern border crisis, and especially the incredible hate-to-love lesbian romance. That being said, I didn’t find this super memorable, and thought the characters were one dimensional. Its a solid three star read.

1:00 PM: I am now confronted with the fact that Bowlaway is due tomorrow and I am just over halfway through it. I try to buckle down. I turn it on 2x speed and listen to it while I do chores, eat lunch and hang out with my cat. The thing is, it’s not keeping my interest. The two characters I like best, Louetta Mood and Joe Ware are being featured less and less. I’m having trouble following the plot lines and family connections. Still, I like it enough, and I’ve gotten this far.

3:00 PM: I give up on the audiobook. I know, I’m a loser, but I vow to get back to it, and all of my two fans must hold me accountable. I reach for Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno instead, and though I am only one chapter in, I adore it. It follows twins Georgina and Mary, who come from a line of magical women. They’re family runs an inn on the island of By-the-Sea, also home to Annabel, a rare bird.

6:00 PM: Summer of Salt might be my favorite read of the year.

7:00 PM: Summer of Salt has a cute lesbian romance and an adorable, socially awkward boy who loves birds.

9:00 PM: Summer of Salt discusses rape culture in a smart and beautiful way. Please read Summer of Salt, even though I am not even finished with it yet.

Friday April 5

10:00 AM-3:00 PM: Here’s the thing: I don’t really know what I do all morning and afternoon. I read, but I don’t keep track. I mourn the loss of Bowlaway, which has been returned. My Brother, My Brother, and Me plays all day long.

3:00 PM: My evening plans are thrilling. My cousins and I are ordering Cracker Barrel take-out (we can’t go in because one of us has beef with our local old country store). We’re going to eat and play games. I am genuinely excited.

We get the largest take-out bag I have ever seen, and feast on biscuits and hashbrown casserole and Coca-Cola cake. I don’t read, so this is all irrelevant. Just wanted to remind everyone that Cracker Barrel really hits the spot sometimes (sponsor me).

10:00 PM: This is around the time I get home, and I don’t read before bed. Just sleep. Bye.

Saturday April 6

9:00 AM: Today, I have a lot of plans that don’t include reading. I have to get some groceries to take back to school with me, meet up with some friends to get our nails done, and then we’re getting lunch. So, no reading.

4:00 PM: It’s almost time to read! First I decided to take some pictures for Instagram and for this blog. I get out my whole Raven Boys collection and my current read and throw them on the nice, fluffy rug in my parents house. The pictures are looking okay, but they’re nothing special. Guess who shows up to save the photoshoot? That’s right, its Tickles the cat!

She loves to read! These pictures are proof that my cat read more than me this week. Also, her favorite Raven Cycle character is Ronan. She wishes she was as tough as him.

5:30 PM: I’m reading now! Y’all, Summer of Salt is wonderful. I’m putting off finishing it because I am not ready to leave these characters and their island and their bird. Also, I am in love with Harrison. Deeply.

6:30 PM: Okay I stopped reading but for good reason. This book inspired to just pick up my laptop and start a play about a boy whose baked goods are magical. Yay!

7:30 PM: My laptop freezes. I’m not sure my work is saved. Its annoying, but I still have my ideas saved away in my head. Also, I need to pack to go back to school tomorrow.

9:00 PM: Packing is quicker than expected, but the bad news is, I am a trash person who decided to turn on American freakin Idol instead of reading. Sorry, I have a weakness for cute, singing boys (looking at you, Walker. Vote for him and Jeremiah!).

10:30 PM: Its bedtime. My book is not finished, but I sure am. Boy is it draining to get your nails done and eat enchiladas and cry at boys on American Idol.

Sunday April 7

I don’t read a single thing today because I was too busy at church. I love the Lord. Christ has died. Christ has risen. Christ will come again, and so will my interest in reading.

I also head back to school and do not read because it makes me carsick. Tragic.

The end

I am a flop. Sure, I finished two books, but I was already like ¾ of the way through one of them. Also, I let Bowlaway go without even putting up a fight. But let’s focus on the positives.

I recovered from my 55th cold of 2019

I ate enchiladas

I ate everything from Cracker Barrel

My cat is cute

Thanks for reading! Add me on Goodreads, follow me on Instagram and Twitter!

P.S I finished Summer of Salt on Monday and loved it. Also this is incredibly late because COLLEGE GETS BUSY SOMETIMES.

Breaking: Local Idiot Fails Her Own Challenge|Reading Blog #2 Well folks I’m back, and I have something to say: I am a flop, and this reading blog is proof of that.

[3one3]

The Sequel - 884

The End Is Near

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Run faster!” Christina and Tom shouted in unison.

“I’m trying!” Stefanie shouted back, struggling to drag a large Hanoverian behind her.

“What does that look like to you? I can’t even tell.”

“In the shoulder maybe.”

“You think? I was going to say something high up behind, like maybe even in the spine.”

“Whichever end of the horse is the problem, it looks very bad, and there isn’t any heat or swelling anywhere at all.”

“Put him away and call Dr. Todd, I guess. Don’t give him anything in case he can come today still.”

Nick was lame again. There was no obvious reason, for a change. The fetlock with the bone chip wasn’t the problem. The other fetlock that occasionally swelled after work was tight. His knees looked fine, and he didn’t react to the hoof testers. His gait was badly wrong, but in a confusing and ambiguous way. The two most experienced people on the property couldn’t decide if they thought it was a problem with the front half of him or the rear. He pinned his ears and resisted as much as possible as Stefanie tried to jog him down the concrete patio at the back of the barn, past his stablemates’ open Dutch doors. Trotting on a hard surface helps exacerbate the pain from an injury, because it’s harsher on just about everything that could be injured than the nice soft footing in the ring, or even grass. It’s supposed to make it easier to see the source of the pain. Christina and Tom were flummoxed. And Christina’s worry about the situation wasn’t just because Nick was getting old and his ouchies were happening more often, or that he looked ready to kick someone in the face. He was supposed to be in a photoshoot with her in an hour.

The president of the Global Champions Tour personally asked her to be the cover star of the new luxury style magazine that would accompany the show series around the globe and feature articles and interviews and tons of advertising by the Tour’s sponsors, brand partners, and boutique sellers. There was going to be a big launch party at the Final, and then it would come out quarterly the following year. The defending champion wanted to use Nick since she was going to be posing by his head and modeling a diamond necklace. He had the handsomest head in her stable, and was very patient about photoshooting.

“He can still pose for a camera,” Tom countered, as if to read her mind. “It doesn’t hurt to stand still.” His point was well made. They only spotted the problem in the first place because he put him on the lunge line to give him a chance to get out any hijinks before the crew showed up. It wasn’t as if the stallion had been lying down in his stall, moaning in agony. He walked fine.

“Can I stop now?” Stefanie called from the end of the covered walk.

“Yeah,” the other two called back simultaneously. Rider was still getting used to groom being as “in charge” as he was. Isandro was more subordinate in that role, most of the time.

“Okay. Spiff him up, I guess,” she shrugged reluctantly. “But call the vet first.”

“Duuuuuh.” He mocked the way she always retorted to people who stated or asked the obvious. And she appreciated his candor and nonchalance, because it told her he wasn’t overly concerned about Nick.

“Let’s go sneak another coffee before the stylists get here and put whitening strips on my teeth,” Christina told her two very obedient Toy Fox Terriers, who were waiting by her feet. They followed her into the barn and up the central aisle toward the indoor, and she texted André to tell him about the horse. He was at training, as he should have been. His being back on the normal schedule, doing full training with his teammates and spending the bulk of each day at Brackel, required an adjustment for her that she really didn’t want to make. His girl had gotten used to him having more flexibility during his injury and rehab. He had a lot of time off, and his individual sessions took less time, and could move around. He had plenty of time to spend with her.

I want a hug, she grumbled inside while trudging up the stairs to her lounge for that coffee. The dogs raced ahead and flew through the flap in the door at the top. Her facility had a lot of cold weather considerations. It wouldn’t have occurred to her to put so many doors between the barn aisle, the bathroom, the bleachers, and the pass-through into the indoor. The architects knew better. It would stay nice and toasty warm in the lounge in the dead of winter, and also in the bathroom, while the J-shaped hallway and the stairs would be flooded with cold air every time someone opened the door to sit on the bleachers. Spencer and Lucky had beds upstairs by the couch so that they could be somewhere cozy whenever they wanted. There was a doggy-door into the tack room as well, but the door it was installed in would be opened and closed constantly throughout the day and it wouldn’t stay that warm since Christina was wary of pumping extreme amounts of artificial heat in there, on the basis that it was drying for the leather goods. She liked her tack room to be comfortable for humans in one less layer than they wore outside, and without hats or gloves. Her dogs liked sauna temperatures everywhere, all the time. They also liked the fun of hopping through three doggy doors to get to the lounge when unaccompanied by a human. They both sat like good boys by the espresso machine while she made her drink, knowing that they might get a biscuit from the metal tin next to the sink.

“I hope this shoot doesn’t take forever,” their mom told them. “I need to ride Sexy Socks and Dirk and Rio and the Iceman still, and Schü and I are going out for dinner tonight. Do you think it’s foolish of me to take Socks to Doha? He thinks it’s a bad idea, since Socks was such an assface in Barcelona. I kind of have to now anyway. I’m already bringing Rio, I clearly can’t take Nick now, Kimi isn’t ready for that, and Calvin doesn’t do long distance flights that well. Dirk isn’t ready. I could do Cartagena, maybe, but why do that when I have Socks? He did so many rounds of this championship anyway. What do you- Oh. You’re waiting for treats.” Christina cocked her head at the black and white and black and white and brown little creatures looking up at her inquisitively. At first she thought they were listening intently to her dilemma. They always made that face when someone asked them a question. But their focus and stare were too intense for that. They were silently begging her for crunchy peanut butter bones. She poured the two little espresso cups into her big, colorful Anthropologie mug and then selected two treats from the tin. The pups hopped up, excited, but hurried back to their haunches to receive them. Spencer immediately started eating his, and Lucky trotted off toward the couch with his. They were both finished devouring their biscuits by the time their human added her steamed milk and was ready to go back into the barn.

“When are you gonna get a job?” she asked Stefanie, who was sitting on the bench across from the grooming stall where Nick was getting polished and combed. There was no real reason for her to be there yet. Her horses were on the board for the afternoon.

“Hopefully never,” the younger rider shrugged. She was eating instant oatmeal in the plastic container it came in. The plumbing offered water hot enough for oatmeal making. That was one of Christina’s favorite things about the property. They could get properly hot water from any spigot, hose, or tap. The hotter the soaking water, the softer the beet pulp the horses ate in bulk with their grain.

“Dr. Todd will come this evening,” Tom mentioned from the crossties.

“Like when this evening?”

“6, 7.”

“Ugh. Okay.”

“Plans?” Stefanie asked knowingly.

“Reservations.”

“You don’t need to be here,” the groom and stable manager reminded.

“Yeah I do. It’s fine. It just means I can’t give Luke his dinner.” Actually, Christina realized, if he comes at 6, it gets in the way of my getting ready time. If he comes at 7, it gets in the way of Munchkin dinner. We have to leave at 8. Ugh, whatever. She plopped heavily on the bench and gulped her cortado. “I wish the photoshoot was later. Then my hair and makeup would be all done and everything. As it is, they’e gonna make me all pretty and stuff in a little while, then I have to wipe it all off, ride and get sweaty, and then shower and start over. Bleh.”

“Where are you having dinner?” the blonde girl inquired.

“Some American-style steakhouse I haven’t been to yet. It’s faaaancy, or so I’m told.”

“Are you wearing something sexy?”

“Of course.”

“Such as?”

“This is when I question my decision to work here,” Tom commented, speaking exclusively to Nick. “Kyle likes to talk sexy dinner outfits as much as these women. I’m surrounded by this nonsense here. In my old position, we spoke about how long our morning shits take, and seasonal beers. In this stable, there is a silver box of tampons under the granite counter in the bathroom. I don’t know how Isandro deals with these women for so long, Nick. How do you do it?”

“Okay, macho man,” Christina snorted with an eye roll. “Nicky loves us. Isa loves us. And I’m wearing this high-neck black cocktail dress with gold studded cap sleeves. I’ve had it forever- like since before I got married- and it’s one of my favorite things but I never wear it because- Well, I dunno.” Because Jill helped me pick it out. “Anyway, I have something sexier for after dinner.”

“Oooooh.” Stefanie’s eyebrows wiggled and Tom’s eyes rolled. Nick didn’t seem to have any strong feelings either way.

“Where is Isa?”

“Setting up the jump course you wrote down for the grass field.”

“Aww, I would have helped. I was going to do it tomorrow.”

“It’s not that much work. Kyle is with him.”

“Does this mean we’re doing lessons on the big course?” Stefanie’s voice and face were brimming with hope and expectation. The girls had been talking about building a grand prix style course on the grass for about a week. They wanted one with a lot of options for different tracks, in whole or in pieces. Both of them took the same special joy from the sensation of riding and jumping on grass. The sound of hooves on the ground does something to a rider. It’s almost like a primal thing, and one doesn’t get it from riding in sand or synthetic footing. A horse has to be more aware of the going, because it’s more slippery. They need their instincts to help. It makes it all more exciting. The girls hacked on the grass fairly often, and sometimes had a handful of fences out there. They wanted the competition-type jumps from the shed- the Red Bull can standards, the Chelsea planks, the faux castle, and the tall gates- all the bells and whistles. Christina sat down at her desk and drew a very exact diagram of what type of jump she wanted and where, down to the color of the poles. It took about an hour to map it out and plan challenges and questions. Contrary to Tom’s dismissive shrug, lugging those fences out of the storage shed or moving them from the dirt ring to the grass and then setting everything up was a lot of work, and it would only be worth it if they got a lot of use out of them and in different ways, so that they wouldn’t overuse the grass on one track, or kill the takeoff and landing zones at every fence. They could spread it out and keep it interesting. And they were all feeling in need of “interesting”. Stefanie was doing a lot of top-level classes, and Kyle was moving up as scheduled with both Calvin and Cartagena. Christina had been fighting boredom for a long time. They all needed to spice up their training, and that was true for some of the horses too.

“Yeah,” coach told student. “I hope we have lots of Magic Cushion.”

“Always,” Tom affirmed from behind the big dark bay horse. He was combing his tail, and talking about the hoof-packing product that helped prevent soreness from working on the hard ground.

“Are you currying Nicky’s butt or is he begging for coffee? He’s got that “aww yeah baby” face, and his lips are out of control,” Christina laughed.

“I’m scratching his dock while I brush out the tail. This tail is a triumph. It better be in the photographs.”

“My horses all have nicer, healthier tails than I have hair,” she pouted, end of her ponytail in hand. Nick, Dirk, and Calvin in particular had really thick, long, lusciously shiny black tails. Rio’s was a bit thin by comparison, Socks’ was recovering from an evidently long history of breakage, and Kimi’s was naturally almost bushy, like his mane and forelock, so it appeared less soft. Navarra constantly tried to rub the top of hers on fences and walls, and that took a toll. She was still catching up on the beauty standards in the barn. At Holger’s she was allowed to be dirty and unkempt. Isandro really liked her personality and made cleaning her up his pet project. Getting the kind of shine customary in Christina’s stable was not the work of just a few groomings.

“That’s because they don’t get shampooed every day,” Stefanie remarked.

“Neither does mine! I try to only wash it every other day. When I can. Usually.”

“Did you wash it this morning?”

“Yes, but I had to! Photoshoot!”

“And you’re going to wash it again tonight before your pre-sex steak, right?”

“Shut up.”

“I have Michael so well trained,” she bragged, almost facetiously. “He uses his fingers to comb the dry shampoo through my hair each night while we watch television. He doesn’t have to hang out with a girl with smelly, oily hair, and I get a massage and a really good brushing. I shampoo once per 5 days.”

“Eww.”

“My hair isn’t as oily as yours! And I still shower!”

“I shampoo and condition every day,” Tom shrugged on his way back to the front of the horse to give his mane and forelock one last onceover. “My hair is pretty okay, I think.”

“Boy hair is different,” Christina tutted. Then she turned back to the rider beside her. “Are you getting finger-combed at your place or are you hanging at Michael’s all the time?”

“Both. Kyle goes out a lot lately with some people who live one floor down. He’s trying to figure out how to date with limited German.”

“Girls or boys?”

“I think he’s beginning with girls.”

“He should go out drinking with Isa. Isa will get him a girl,” she sniggered. “Where is this photographer? She’s supposed to be here by now.”

“I thought photographers always want the first or last light?” Stefanie posited before scooping out the last spoonful of oatmeal. The cinnamon smell was making her trainer hungry.

“We’re shooting inside.” Said trainer slid back all the way against the bench and lifted the front of her layered waffle shirts up to scratch at her tummy. Knowing the cover shoot would involve a stylist bringing her outfits, she couldn’t be bothered changing out of the clothes she donned after her workout to play with Lukas. Her comfy sweatpants hung very low on her hips to begin with, so her shirts didn’t have far to go to make her stomach feel very cold. There was a mostly-healed scratch right under her belly button- an accident, from her son- that itched like crazy as the tiny scabs prepared to fall off on their own. “Should I call her and see if they’re lost or something?”

“Wouldn’t they call if they were lost?” Tom pointed out.

“Maybe they don’t know they’re lost.”

“Well how would you know if you called them?”

“I dunno.”

“It’s amazing that you two travel the world together, honestly.” Stefanie shook her head ruefully and got up to put the plastic container in the trashcan in the other grooming stall. She stopped to rub Nick’s forehead on the way back, and he nudged at her stomach just to let her know that he was interested in anything she might have for him, like whatever that sweet smell on her breath was. “Can’t feed the models,” she told him. “I guess you’re not mad at me for making you jog on your...whatever hurts.”

“He clearly isn’t in any discomfort right now at least,” Christina chuckled while she watched her stallion thoroughly investigate the other girl for food. Her horses all acted like nobody fed them, and she liked that, because it meant they had personalities. A lot of their kind don’t. Her band of characters brought so much life and entertainment to the day in, day out tedium of the stable routine. Keeping their training interesting and varied was one thing. The chores and care at the barn were the opposite. Everyone who worked there agreed that consistency was key for keeping the horses healthy and ensuring the place functioned safely, professionally, and efficiently. It made for a lot of monotony for the guys. An affectionate, curious, or even mischievous equine could give them moments of entertainment or enjoyment to break it up. The canine workers did too. One of them sprang into Christina’s lap to see if he was missing anything. “Hi Spence.” She stroked his mostly black little head, and he licked her fingers.

“You look like you’re at home on the sofa,” Tom commented. He wore a small, lopsided grin and was using Nick’s neck to support his left arm. “This is a horse stable.”

“I don’t wear sneakers in the house. Are you going to put him away and let him get dirty again or make him wait on the crossties?”

“Call the photographer and find out how far they are.”

Christina switched hands with her giant mug to reach into the deep pocket of her sweats for her phone. André hadn’t replied yet, which was expected. He was training. She hoped for a message from Juan though, even thought he was also training, presumably. He wrote to her in the middle of the night to ask when she was returning home. “Home” was a charged word. He could have meant London, or he could have meant himself, because she told him he was home for her, many times. Her text back to him asked if he was okay or if he was just being sweet, or if he couldn’t sleep and just wanted to see if she was magically up at that hour. She knew the Spaniard would have seen the message by then. He would have had plenty of time to read it before even getting to Cobham given how early she woke up.

“They’re about 10 minutes out,” she reported to everyone after speaking with the photographer. “You might as well put him back in his stall. It’s going to take them some time to get me dressed and blown out and made up and stuff. He doesn’t need to be spotless if they want to use him to do test shots or something. You’ll have a chance to wipe him off again before I’m ready. You could even tie him in the stall if you want.”

“Yeah, I think I will do, as long as Stef is going to be around?”

“I’ll keep an eye on him. Or ear.” Stefanie nodded and got back up from the bench to stretch and yawn. Her vigilance was necessary because Christina didn’t really like tying the horses in their stalls. There was always the risk that they could freak out about being tethered in a place they usually had freedom, they could somehow get a leg caught over the lead even though it was deliberately tied quite short, or they could manage to get it caught on a bucket or something and dump it out and make a mess. The only reason to do it was to keep them from rolling in their bedding and getting dirty, or if they needed to wait while tacked up and not get into trouble with all the equipment on. Her rule was that horses couldn’t be tied anywhere or left on the crossties unattended, and Tom was going to go do other work until he was needed to assist on the shoot. Nick’s rider gave him a nose smooch and promised him the vet would come later to make whatever was hurting him go away, and his groom took him back to his stall.

“I hope I got paid for this up front,” she yawned before moving to get a broom to sweep up the hair and dirt left behind on the rubber mat where the horse had been and then realizing she couldn’t sweep without putting her coffee down, and that it wasn’t worth it. Tom would undoubtedly be right back to do the tidying up before moving on to other chores. “I would so much rather be shopping for pumpkins with Lukas right now, or helping him with his bike. He’s really good with the training wheels. Did I tell you?”

“Yes. Like 9 times. Can I go pumpkin shopping whenever you do get to do it? I want to make one for Michael, for his desk.”

“Yeuck you’re so in love. It’s gross.”