#i was like. resistant to it bc i felt like i was projecting but theres wwwwwway too much that starts to make sense

[dennisboobs]

i was a different person in march

[overmore]

i love the things you write with all my heart and it makes me want to write my own so bad.. theres nothing stopping me, and im not particularly worried about skill or anything, im just lazy as fuck and everytime i imagine something and then swoon and go "wow i should write this 💞" i just continue to lay in bed and go on with my day without doing anything haha. maybe one day!!

anyways im not the best with using words to describe how i feel but , my first works of yours i read were the hangover/blindspot ones and they permanently changed my brain chemistry. i think about them daily, and i am not exaggerating that. i eventually read your dmspot things too, i put them off for a while because im not too big a fan of dm and t&i in general at all, but theyve done a very good job at softening me up to them a bit, to the point i (for the most point) dont actively avoid reading things about dm anymore lol

and the cinnaseph one !!! i adore that skin i wasnt expecting to see anyone write with it especially not in a setting like that, and its so cute :( i felt so bad for aesop the whole time bc i resonated w him soo bad and hrgrhgdghf the whole thing just melted my heart in all honesty.. i wonder if joseph will ever know just how much aesop is going to think about that event and him afterwards, sweet thing

Took me a while to think of how to respond because HDGSHSGAHGA KYAAAA. I never get asks here at all and much less so detailed thoughts of people about my fics 😭

I'm so happy every time someone says they like any of my Blindspot fics, regardless of what Joseph I use in it. Hangoverspot seems to be a hit with everyone though hahahahah. I hope you do read the dmspot ones, since I consider a lot if them to be my favorites (especially ma petit fleur. I consider it my best written thing up to date). They're my go to to write for joscarl when I use Blindspot.

Yes the cinnaseph one. I tend to project onto Blindspot from time to time so a lot of things written about him are definitely easier to relate to sometimes. The cinna skin was also just so cute I couldn't resist not writing something with it! (that fic was written for someone I don't talk to anymore and I'm glad other people love it too, does make me feel better about it hsgsgsgsgs)

And on writing: it is actually a task to sit down and do it the first time. I've been writing since I was 11 and actively doing this in fandom spaces since I was 12, so I've been here and doing it for a very long time. Getting that first push can be a lot sometimes whether you're doing it for the first time or you're going into a new fandom and getting the hang of the characters for the first time. It might seem scary, but once you break that ice the first time, it becomes easier, even when there are bumps on the road.

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

[strawberryjun]

highschool!jeno part 2 !!

o k so where did we leave off

so its Monday and hes back in history class, and hes as smiley as he used to be YAYYAYAAAYYYYY

but u notice that there's a little bit of regret or is it guilt ? in his eyes, u cant tell

ur teacher announces a work period so u and jeno r sitting side by side, shoulders brushing

"I broke up with her"

"wow, ,, jeno , are u ok ?"

"yeah I didnt really like her anyway, the dreamies pushed me into it and I kinda think i like someone else anyway"

now this is interesting

lee jeno likes someone else ??? who could it be ???? ;))

but ur not gonna push him so u dont ask

"oh, ok, well, u wanna do our project?"

and u do, u work on it til ur almost done

but theres still some more to go, so u meet up after school again, but this time at his house

he said he wanted u to come over bc his laptop was out of battery and u couldnt Just use yours (I'm not buying it)

anyway ur at his house

and u notice that his laptop is fully charged ???? ??

but u dont say anything and u guys work on ur project

and u finish !!!!! so early too !!

jeno is so happy that he asks u to celebrate !!!

"theres a really cool ice cream place nearby, let's go to celebrate!!!"

how can u resist that beautiful eye smile

u go to the ice cream place and order ur ice cream but before u can get ur wallet out, hes already paying at the cashier

"jeno!!! I could've paid, here lemme pay u bac-"

"no !!!! dont !!! it's my treat !!!! you did give me such good advice after all :))"

literally ur heart just burst

so u sit down and eat your ice cream and talk about everything

about politics, the big bang, clouds and music

"so, u like kanye?"

"it's a bunny on a skateboard !!!" "n o o it's santa eating chicken !!!"

and u just go on and on like that until u realize it's dark out and Oh No

u have to get home before curfew

so u tell him thanks for the ice cream, but youve gotta go

and he says oh !!! of course !!! lemme walk u home !!!!

and so u guys are walking and talking

and u get so caught up in him and his thoughts that u almost miss your house

"isnt this yours ???"

"o-oh yeah haha a H a"

and u get to ur doorstep and ur a little bit Sad bc :((( u wanna keep talking to him :((

"thanks for today, jeno"

"oh, you're welcome, y/n :)) it was my pleasure"

"well I should go in now"

"haha probably"

but as u turn to go in, he grabs your wrist

and it's the first time hes really touched u

and it's weird but it's also amazing

like sparks going off in your wrist and heart

and he turns u around and kisses u

lightly, like the softest touch similar to how a toddler would hold your hand

but it felt like a wave collapsing over both of you, swallowing u up and rocking u around

in the best way possible

he blushes and u blush, and it's hard to look into each others eyes

and he starts to open his mouth, as if hes trying to say something, but u cut him off, putting your lips back on his

and its longer now, and harsher

but not too long or too harsh, perfect

and you're happy

and so is jeno

and hes smiling into the kiss and it makes u giggly

so u end up breaking the kiss because you're both giggling

and he finally looks into your eyes, still tomato red

"that was fun"

and u nod, not saying anything because you're smiling too hard

"its late, get some sleep, ill see you tomorrow" he says, eyes crescent moons

and then you're in your bed, still red and giggly over what just happened

then it's the morning

and you're nervous about what to wear, how to act

because u like him, you like lee jeno

and he kissed you !!!

so u go to school, and hes in history, just like you expected

and he locks eyes with you once u walk in

and immediately goes red, as do you

but he walks over to you and smiles and waves and says a shy hi

"how are you" , , ,, , giggles

"how did you sleep", , , ,,,,, giggles

yall r just the cutest omg

once he gets his composure he takes u out of the classroom (he has a free pass bc his teacher loves him so much)

and into a janitors closet so he can tell you "y/n, I like you . a lot ."

and you're just standing there in shock because he does like you, and you like him and what's gonna happen now and

but you're quiet for so long jeno gets nervous

"oh, , do u not like me ? Its ok if u dont I mean I just kinda assumed bc you kissed me back but if u dont that's totally fine I mean i dont want to force u into anything it's fine I'm f i n-"

and u cut him off, throwing your arms around his waist with an "I like you too lee jeno"

and now it's his turn to be Shook

but before anything else happens, the janitor walks in

"oh, u kids, get out of here !!!"

you guys leave the closet, but before u go back to class jeno asks if u wanna skip and just be with him

and u agree (of course)

so u two are just sitting on the bleachers continuing the conversation from last night before u hear a "oi !!! who's this !!!" and see a pack of 6 ??? boys coming over to u two

ur a little confused before you realize that Ohh it's the dreamies

and jeno introduces u to all of them, mark, the oldest, about to off to college, renjun, a savage (u learn to understand soon enough), haechan, the sassy one (not mean, just sassy), jaemin, the pretty boy, chenle, really loud exchange student and jisung, youngest, always trying his Best

they're a fun group who seem to be misunderstood by your school

you like them and they seem to like you

and you and jeno continue to go out on these lil dates, until a week later he finally asks you to be his officially

to which you say yes !!!

and you're both so happy

he picks u up in the morning so u can walk to school together, you walk to history together, you eat lunch with him and the dreamies

"you're officially a part of the dreamies, y/n" - jaemin "yes please keep the boys in line while I'm gone" - mark "Y/N WILL NEVER TAME US WILDCATS" - haechan

you guys r the schools #1 couple, everyone is jealous of u two

nd you guys r always doing cute shit and having deep conversations where u talk abt ur hopes and dreams and jeno tells u all about how he wants to marry you one day :')

you two are the world's cutest and bestest couple (at least in your and jenos eyes)

and you're both so happy :)))

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them ) 

hllo this is my second child i think theyre p grand n i love them a lot. as always pls like if u’d like to plot i’d lov to interact with everybody

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

mbti & temperament: esfp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: homosexual.

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances. 

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay! 

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years. 

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe. 

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost. 

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.