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stephhannes · 5 years

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212.

one year ago, we left new york.

a week before we moved out of our apartment, i started cleaning. our kitchen was a straight-up disaster zone. when we first moved in, the AC unit in the kitchen was leaking underneath the tiles so everything was just….moist for awhile. for whatever reason, nathan refused to call maintenance whenever something was broken in the apartment so we lived with a wet floor for months until it started leaking in the apartment below us and they fixed it one day when i was at work.

because of that, there were weird remnants of amazon boxes that had melted and become a frankentile with the flooring. and we put off cleaning that for….the entire time we lived there. nathan’s whole concept of cleaning was “we can put it off until right before we move, it’ll be fine, we’ll still get our security deposit back.” i, however, could not live in a scum palace, so i would clean up once a week, but a lot of it slipped through the cracks. so the week before we left, there i was, cleaning all the cracks in the kitchen. i sat and scrubbed the kitchen floor for hours, painstakingly scraping up weird sticky spots and cardboard. there was a drawer that just had loose rice in it from a broken bag, and cleaning that was surprisingly tricky. i lysol’d the chicken shelf. i completely dismembered our stove to scrub underneath the burners. i swept up all of the onion skin and coffee grounds that had fallen in the crevice between the counters and the fridge. and then i moved onto the bathroom. while i wish i could have taken a match to the room, i just poured fabuloso all over the entire space, which is basically the same thing. my favorite part was when nathan came home one day and was like “wow, the bathroom looks so nice….why did you clean it?” and i was just like…..because, you idiot, we’re moving in a week and i’m trying to get a security deposit back. the only thing worse than having to clean all of the hair out of the sink was the period of time that our bathtub wouldn’t drain and i had to take a bath with every shower i took.

i’m a person who likes to be over-prepared. especially when it comes to things like traveling, or moving. i make lists, i get all my ducks in a row ahead of time and count them twice. nathan is the exact opposite. we left nyc on the morning of may 23rd, and i couldn’t quit work until may 21st, because i couldn’t afford to take any more days than that off. in my head, i anticipated that on the 22nd we would have been doing the final touches on cleaning and packing. we would have all our furniture out, all of the floors swept, everything we were taking back to texas in suitcases. the only thing we’d have out is the mattress so that we could go to bed at a decent time and be well-rested for our flight the next morning, the only thing we’d have to do in the morning is toss our mattress on the streets and leave.

but of course, that’s not how it panned out. the week leading up to moving, nathan did absolutely nothing in regards to packing. the only thing that got done was the prior cleaning i had accomplished. on may 21st, i got very drunk at my going-away party at work, came home at some stupid hour and fell asleep. i woke up at like 2pm on the 22nd, and nathan still hadn’t started anything. i had to go run an errand downtown, so i picked up the halal guys on my way back uptown. when i got back, we ate and then he went to the gym and then i was like uhhh ok i guess i should start getting shit together. so while he was at the gym i packed up all of my clothes. then, when i moved onto packing up the kitchen, i realized there was a lot of alcohol still left, and me, being a certified poor person, didn’t want to waste the money i had spent on it, so i started drinking while cleaning. when he got back from the gym, we accomplished my favorite part of moving- we slam dunked his nasty basketball shoes right into the dumpster.

we took turns throwing trash out into the hall, and leaving furniture down in the lobby. and eventually, around 4am, we had most of our garbage cleaned out of the apartment. also by this point, i had sobered up from drinking earlier in the night and was feeling dehydrated and terrible. all i wanted to do was sleep, but we still had so much to get done. by this point, i was getting stressed because we definitely were not close to finishing on time.

my breaking point was when we were trying to re-assemble our smoke detector. we disassembled it at some point early in our time living there because it would go off even if we were just boiling water. nathan struggled to put it back together for like 10 minutes and called me into the hallway to advise. me, being a person who’s done this before suggested, “oh so you have to flip that latch and then put the battery on top of it, then screw on the top,” and of course, immediately, nathan was like “no, that’s not right that doesn’t make any sense,” and after struggling for five more minutes i pushed him out of the way and was like, “oh my god let me do this” and i re-assembled it on my first try. because i was right.

we watched the sun rise over the GWB one last time.

our flight was leaving in 3 hours. we still had a couch, and a bed, and a table in the apartment. i had a headache. we hadn’t eaten in hours. so while nathan ran out to get bagels i cried for a solid 15 minutes out of exhaustion and stress.

i moved to new york with two suitcases. one for all my clothes/shoes, and one for towels, linens and pillows. somehow i thought i’d be able to leave new york with two suitcases, despite having accumulating even more stuff. i was shocked when i was actually able to fit everything that i owned and wanted to keep into one suitcase, my second one was basically just dedicated to nathan’s shoes and winter clothes.

when we were leaving for the airport i remember mentioning, “hey we should probably call an uber because i doubt all of our suitcases are going to fit into a taxi,” but nathan refused, so we walked two blocks to get a taxi and then had to spend a stupid amount of time playing jenga to get our suitcases into aforementioned taxi. two fit in the trunk, one was in the front seat, one was in my lap.

my suitcase was 10lbs overweight and southwest charges $75 for an overweight bag. so of course i lost my god damn mind and started crying and flung myself to the floor and started throwing things out of my bag and trying to shuffle things around to get it underweight. i was an airport goblin. here’s the thing: i’m actually very good at traveling. i’ve gotten my personal travel down to a science and i love flying and am usually very collected. but i was so stressed, i hadn’t slept in a day, and it truly brought out the worst in me.

once we made it onto the plane nathan told me that he never wanted to travel with me again because i am a disaster, and i promised that i’m not usually like that, but he definitely didn’t believe me- i’m so glad i made a good first impression. whenever we got to our parents’ houses back in texas i sent him a very nice text apologizing for being the human equivalent of a hurricane and he was just like, “it’s fine, you’re lucky i love you and also that i know exactly who you are.” which is true, i’m lucky that he knew and accepted exactly what kind of gremlin he was about to spend the rest of his life with.

despite paying a disgusting amount of money in rent, that was a dope little apartment. we had more space than we knew what to do with, literally half of our furniture in the living room was just a pile of nathan’s clothes because we needed something to take up some space. it was nice to have a doorman, even though there were a handful of times when i got stopped on my way into the building. my favorite time was when i rolled in at 3am after drinking with coworkers, and i had left my columbia ID in the apartment. usually this wasn’t an issue, but the person at the front desk stopped me for once and wouldn’t let me go upstairs without it. when you’re an actual columbia student, it’s not an issue because you can just give your student ID number to get in, but i was like “uhhhhh i don’t have one, i don’t go here, my husband does, please just let me into my home i want to be in my bed i am so drunk” and they were like “ok well he can bring your ID or he can sign you in,” and i was like “I PAY SO MUCH MONEY IN RENT HERE. MY ID IS UPSTAIRS, IN THE APARTMENT THAT I PAY RENT FOR, I CAN GO UPSTAIRS, TO THE APARTMENT I LIVE IN, AND BRING MY ID AND SHOW IT TO YOU” at this point, the doorman was DONE with me and was like, “well if i let you upstairs to get your ID, i’d still be letting you into the building without an ID and i can’t do that,” and i stood corrected, yeah ok touché, and then i had to call nathan to bring down my ID. luckily he was still awake, and since i was very drunk and love drama when i get stressed i started crying in the lobby while i was waiting for nathan to come downstairs. i would say this was my NYC rock bottom, but my NYC rock bottom was obviously the night i threw up in a mcdonald’s and 3 subway stations and lost my phone.

even though i was constantly stressed living in NYC, it was nice being able to come home to an apartment that wasn’t tiny, had a ton of natural light, and never had a rat (or carpenter bee) problem. i’m also so glad we got to avoid having roommates. we never really “moved into” our apartment- all of our furniture was trash we collected off of the streets, i never decorated anything, or even hung up all of my clothes. we knew we were going to be leaving new york after that year, so we tried to invest as little money as possible into the apartment. in fact, we invested so little money in the apartment that i didn’t have a mirror the entire time we lived there- we also had no overhead lighting. we found one lamp, so our bedroom got a lamp. if we wanted light in the living room, instead of just buying two lamps, we’d have to decide which room needed the light more and move the lamp accordingly.

when we moved to philly, even though all of our furniture was the cheapest we could find at walmart, we still actually spent money on buying matching furniture. pretty much all of our decor came from my old apartment in austin, but at least we tried to do some decorating. even though we put effort into having a kind of put-together home, it still felt less like home than 60 haven avenue did.

here’s a few pictures of our old apartment. first, the living room- where you can see “the pile” in its full glory. instead of folding and putting clothes away, nathan just dumped all of his clothing in a pile in the living room, partially because he didn’t care about organization and partially to just fill up some dead space. second, a corner of our bedroom- we fit a full mattress and still had a ton of space in the room. the window looked out at the GWB, which was my favorite part of the apartment. third, the bathroom- the only reason the shower curtain and bath mat look coordinated is because i brought them with me from my austin apartment. (the only reason we have a shower curtain is because i brought it. nathan didn’t think we needed one, and literally didn’t have one for a few weeks before i moved in). finally, the kitchen- it was pretty small but it did the job. this is a terrible picture of it, but you can see the amazon boxes that got fused to the floor when the floor started to leak. also pictured is a broom and dustpan, two items that sat in plain sight in the kitchen the entire time we lived there, but that nathan was still shocked to learn that we owned the first time he saw me sweeping the floors.

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ebellwood-blog · 7 years

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Concrete Jungle...

A mere few hours from landing back from New York I have showered, half unpacked, eaten some bacon and caught up on some Netflix but with this banging jet lag I thought I must quickly write down some of my favourite memories from this unique exploration.

1) The Brooklyn Bridge- I have been lucky enough to have visited New York in the past, but I haven't had the opportunity to investigate Brooklyn Bridge. Nevertheless, my friends and I took a real time searching the area for quirky vintage shops, fun food restaurants, and unique street art. After hopping on the subway, we found ourselves at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge looking up at the large vast structure which gives Brooklyn's commuters a beautiful view while they travel to and from work in the Big Apple. The inner geographer in me loved the man made the structure which not only looked astonishing on its own, it really brought the area to life. I loved how it brought the commercial side of New York to the individual and up and coming side of Brooklyn which I truly believe will be 'the' place to live within the next 10 years.

2) The Modern Museum of Art (MoMA)- When I was younger, I had visited this museum however I was too young to appreciate some of the artists and collections this famous museum holds. From Van Gogh to Matisse, Picasso and Warhol and then also Dali and Mondrian. It was incredible to see some of these famous pieces of work in the flesh. I feel that the 'Starry Night' by Van Gogh was one of the most beautiful pieces of art I have ever seen. From the dark and deep textures and tones from the thick paint which is engraved by the thick bristle on the dense brush Gogh used is magical in real life. This makes you realise why paintings and artists can be so well respected as you can see and feel emotions within each brush strokes. Having studied Graphics at A-Level, I was also really excited to see some of the Warhol pieces that are currently exhibited at the MoMA. I loved seeing the details within each layer through his screen printing and the texture that was left behind from the screens, his work also varied scale vastly which was refreshing to see as many keep to similar sized canvases. If anyone were to visit New York, I would highly recommend this Museum as its very rare to see so many high-quality pieces of work in one viewing.

May I just add I am very annoyed at myself that I didn't get around to having any New York cheesecake. It's like going to Italy and not having a pizza!

3) Dover Street Market (DSM)- Luckily while I was in New York, DSM shut its store to renew its visual merchandise. This is where they change the layout of the store, designers and collections. DSM reopened the morning we were leaving, so we spent the morning snopping around the new store. What is so incredible and unique about DSM is that every floor there is a different story, tone and mood. There are different storage and displays for the clothes and different colour palettes this makes the shopping experience so unique as the displays really highlight and encourage sales of clothes. I feel this store was my favourite out of all the saw in my short stay in New York. I have visited the London one numerous times, and it would be great to see both to compare on different visuals they used and if it's displayed or presented differently because of different markets etc.

4) Wonderlust Girls- On the garment tour we were lucky enough to receive a presentation from two of New York's 'it' girls or better known the 'Wonderlust Girls' who started out having a fun fashion blog which led them to now being very successful fashion stylists, bloggers and public figures. They gave some very valuable advice on how to create successful and innovative blogs and how to get your name out there in the fashion world to start building up strong connects with the right people. It was just interesting as well seeing their vibe, how they dressed, presented themselves and how they carried themselves with such grace and confidence. They commented on personal branding, and how it important it is to create yourself as an approachable and attractive brand which made me think about maybe changing my blog name to something that is more relatable than my name. Also one of the biggest lessons I learnt from the girls is that fashion isn't everything there are so many other connects I can make in lifestyle, sports, food, etc. which could lead me to bigger and better things rather than trying to compete with all the other thousands of fashion girls out their, as it is such a tough industry.

In addition, it was very useful going to New York to help support my summative brief. I was able to look at different colour palettes and brands, research different artists in the MoMA museum who were around during the same time period and see some interior displays which linked well with the retro theme. I will develop this all in further blogs and within my sketchbook.

There are numerous other things I could waffle on about; the famous upper east side and their fancy doormen, the breathtaking view from the top of the Empire State Building at night, the MET museum and its costume exhibition looking at old pieces from the likes of Tom Ford, Chanel and Dior, the crazy breakfasts that are the equivalent of desserts in the UK, the gorgeous but bizarre decor of our hotel, the poor (?) customer service and the xoxo gossip girl steps. I will attach some photos, but I promise they don't do they wonderful city much justice.

I did also have my film camera with me, and I took numerous photos. I will attach them and discuss the quality and other details of my new camera when I get around to developing the film.

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captainignatiuspigheart · 4 years

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I’m now three days into a mostly well-earned week off and have no real knowledge of what came before… We’ve been trying to do more things, or at least more things that involve the outside world. It’s been a fortnight of new firsts. I’ve finally been into Nottingham city centre for the first time since mid-March. It was very strange to wheel back in – I only visited for an eye test – and see what seemed like millions of people. In retrospect it was probably the equivalent of a disappointing Tuesday morning. I went back in a week later to pick up my new glasses and it was certainly a lot busier. I cycled around for a bit, and there’s just nothing there I need any more. My desire to wander round a shop is at a new low (unless it’s a charity shop, bookshop, or LEGO shop. And there were none of those available), and I find it hard to imagine that changing much. I guess I’m not gonna be the shot in the arm our economy needs… We’ve also finally been to a pub, for a spot of birthday lunch with my mum. It was great to see her, because it has been ages, but the weirdness of being back in the Victoria was overwhelming. Not just having to wait to be seated, and leaving my name and phone number, but its gaping emptiness. We were the only people dining inside on a Saturday lunchtime, except for the group that briefly ate directly behind us (there was so much other space!) and perhaps fifteen people in the beer garden. I didn’t feel unsafe, just a little weirded out with thinking “what’s the point of this place?” I imagine some of this feeling will fade as these places become normal again with more activities being arranged in them.

Oh yeah, and I’ve been swimming! My beloved Lenton Centre is open again, and I am delighted. I’m not a huge fan of evening swims, since I’m normally well into wind-down and the sleeping drugs are kicking in, but I couldn’t miss the opportunity. They’ve done what they can for safety: super-wide swimming lanes, restricted numbers, widely spaced changing rooms, and (alas) no showers. Mind you, can you be safer than when immersed in a giant tank of coronavirus-murdering chlorinated water? I did the full hour, taxing muscles which have been utterly forgotten for four months. The next day I felt like I’d been crudely hewn from wood. It was a joy to be in water again. So much so that I’m getting up before midday on my birthday to do it again! Plus, we’re going to the cinema this week – The Empire Strikes Back is available on my birthday, and that’s the kind of normal I can’t resist. I’m even contemplating a trip to a real live LEGO store this week, though I may not if I don’t have my AFOL flag added to my card for the VIP day next Saturday. Who knows! It’s not like I’m short of LEGO at home…

LEGO: Merging Hidden Side Sets

I’ve been really happy with LEGO’s Hidden Side line, even though I’ve little interest in its augmented reality play features – the sets are just really cool! I was very taken with the Shrimp Shack Attack and Wrecked Shrimp Boat, which were both a delight to build with nifty techniques and great colour scheme. They seemed to have that same nice subdued sand-green/blue vibe as the stunning LEGO Ideas Old Fishing Store, so why not combine them… Originally, I wasn’t going to change very much at all. I wanted to retain the fantastic shrimp shack sign and the generally grungy vibe of the shrimp shack, plus the whole shrimp boat. As you can see, it did get a little more complicated. I ended up curving the shack round so it could fit in a corner of the baseplate and leave room for the boat, but it didn’t leave enough room, so… the boat became part of the shack, and into a nice little cafe. Making a floor I could tile around the three sections of the restaurant was challenging, but I like how it turned out. Inevitably, including the boat meant taking it apart and rebuilding the underside with different elements. There’s an awful lot of junk under the pier which was a nice chance to use my many crates and lobsters. I had a little fun making an ice-cream stand too, with a rather nice LEGO Friends sticker. I’ve hidden many things in the build and intensely enjoyed its construction. I reckon it looks pretty sweet next to the Old Fishing Store too. Hurray.

Watching: Snowpiercer

I expected to have a lot to say about this TV show, but I… don’t. It’s a good, more detailed, and fuller version of the movie that came out a few years ago, but it doesn’t really add anything. It’s equally bonkers – the conceit being that a super-train 1001 cars long that continuously circles the ice-choked globe – but has more detail, like seeing more of the engineering and a slightly better sense of this ten mile-long train as an environment. The story is much the same too (I guess that’s not surprising), it’s one of social revolution as the tailies (the “freeloaders” who jumped on the train without a billion-dollar ticket) seek to escape their appalling conditions and democratise the train by uniting with third class (who keep the train going – wait, that might be second class… doesn’t really matter) against the total wanker rich class who live in luxury in first. It’s fun, violent, fast-paced, and has many things to make you shake your head at the excesses of the wealthy. Jennifer Connelly is excellent, as is Daveed Diggs in the two (mostly) opposing leads, and the rest of the cast is well chosen. It works! I assume we’ll watch season two, even though we got confused about whether we’d actually finished season one.

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Reading: Djinn City by Saad Z Hossain

I’ve continued to struggle with reading, and I think this was a change in pace that really worked for me. Djinn City has a familiar setup: Indelbed is a sad lonely kid living with his alcoholic father, who discovers that his dad’s actually a magician deeply involved with the djinn we’ve shared our world with for millennia. He only finds this out when his dad ends up in a coma and he’s kidnapped by bad guys and dumped in a magical oubliette filled with horrifying flesh-eating dragons and an utterly sociopathic djinn who kinda befriends him… This is profoundly weird reading, both funny and very grim at the same time. There are lovely splashes of Bangladeshi society alongside the wildly arrogant and powerful djinn cultures, against the really awful things that happen to Indelbed (experimented on and then burned alive…), and the fantastical worlds and creations of the djinn themselves. Super-dark, full of intrigue and deep dark conspiracies, there is a huge amount to love and get into here. I am… perplexed that this isn’t book one of a series (or isn’t yet) as the ending feels an awful lot like it needs to continue. Read it, even if there isn’t a book two!

We Are What We Overcome

We met up again for our last fortnightly webchat. Much sadface for me as this has been one my anchoring events through lockdown. However, it’s quite a time commitment for those of us with exciting new jobs, so we talked about how we feel about the future. Not just our post-COVID future, but how we look forward in general. It turns out we somewhat suck at it. I’ve always been bad at imagining the future – I just can’t see myself in it. Still, interesting to ponder on, and I found it both thought-provoking and reassuring to hear the others’ attitudes. We’re planning to meet up in person late in August and get back on track with the regular podcast. Speaking of which, I keep forgetting to mention that new episodes are going quite regularly. Check ’em all out here: https://anchor.fm/we-are-what-we-overcome.

Workstuff

It’s been a busy couple of weeks, especially running up to a week off (to continue being at home, without work to do…). Much finalising of cover art, preparing books for print, for very soon our first books will be published! September sees the first two – Wrath of N’kai and Tales from the Crucible: A KeyForge Anthology, but we sorted those out months ago, before the whole pandemic thing flipped the world upside down. It’s October I’ve been working on, and will hit November’s books the second I return! In the last week we’ve finally been able to show off the first two Marvel novel covers we’ve been working on: Domino: Strays and The Head of Mimir – check ’em out at Marvel.com. Full credit to the wonderful Joey Hi-Fi and Grant Griffin for the two covers.

We followed that up with a little chat about how they came together on Facebook Live:

Watching: Preacher, season three

I’m not sure I know how to summarise Preacher. Ex-man of the cloth / career criminal Jesse has the voice of God (the power to command anyone to do anything) but dark super-Catholic religious corporation, Grail, wants that power so they can invest it in the actual descendent of Jesus – a heavily inbred idiot. In this exciting season of insane and hilariously grim adventures, Jesse and his best friend, the vampire Cassidy, bring the recently killed Tulip to Angelville, the hell hole where he grew up because his grandmother can save people’s lives, by eating their souls… It’s a very over the top show, with great fight scenes, lots of swearing, blasphemy and gore. All the good stuff. I’ve given up trying to understand what’s really going on and am just here for the ride. The return to Angelville explains a great deal of why Jesse is such a mess, while Cassidy’s adventures in New Orleans both delightfully mock The Vampire Letsat etc and subvert it. A lot of what I like is the largely British cast having an absolute whale of a time. Also, Hitler working at Subway and using that to restart the third reich is kinda special…

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MissImp: Making Monologues Work for You with Jon Nguyen

We still can’t do proper in-person drop-ins and it looks like there won’t be much in the way of live shows this year, so we’re continuing with our video series inviting great improv humans to share their brilliance with us. These are now fortnightly so we can do a live online Gorilla Burger on alternate weeks! Jon is splendid.

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Last Week: Preacher, Snowpiercer, Djinn City, LEGO Hidden Side, Aconyte Books, “leaving the house”, LEGO building, more MissImp improv and y’know the usual ramblings. #TV #books #LEGO #podcast @aconytebooks @missimp_notts https://wp.me/pbprdx-8HZ I’m now three days into a mostly well-earned week off and have no real knowledge of what came before… We’ve been trying to

#Aconyte Books #cover art #Djinn City #Jon Nguyen #lego #LEGO Hidden Side #Marvel novels #MissImp: Improv Comedy Theatre Nottingham #Preacher #Saad Z Hossain #Snowpiercer #We Are What We Overcome

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followmeeastward · 5 years

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One night in Bangkok...

(11/12/18) Okay so it was more than one night! But anyways! This past month I was lucky enough to get to travel to Thailand with a large group of my fellow volunteers! We all took to gathering in Bangkok for the beginning of the week, to indulge ourselves in western civilization, then for the last four days of the week, took to an AirBnB on one of the many islands off the coast of Thailand. While I could go on for days with every little detail I’ll give you the highlight reel of the city in this post!

Day Zero (Saturday 10/20) Stepping out of one world into another….

I’ve now been living in Myanmar for nine months, and have grown very accustomed to their version of what a city is, and what western style foods they provide. Nothing was more of a shock on the whole of our Thailand trip than that first drive into downtown Bangkok from the airport. Once again seeing buildings that rise more than twenty floors into the air, and a Starbucks on every corner. I had to consciously remind myself to keep my mouth closed because for the first time in so long I was seeing names of establishments like McDonalds and Subway and I could not contain my girlish excitement. It was like stepping back into any major American city. And it was in seeing this, that it truly felt like vacation had begun, it was a whole new world and a whole new mindset. Couldn’t have made me more excited!

Day 1 (Sunday 10/21) A Day of Shopping:

We woke up from our first night’s sleep and decided that we would go to Chatuchak Weekend Market. It is the largest outdoor market in all of Thailand, definitely a big tourist destination, but at the same time something you do not want to miss. They have everything you could want, from Thai coffee, to mangos and sticky rice, to clothes, food items, pet items, and even pets themselves! Anything you could want you could easily find at this market. It was like an artsy farmers market on steroids. My favorite part about it was how easily a person could get lost, so many different twists and turns, you could be walking for only 10 minutes and find yourself in a whole new section having no clue how you got there! We spent the better part of the day there, trying to hide from the constant on and off showers, splitting our group of 10 into smaller groups, and then randomly running into each other, until we all came to the decision it was time to go back to the hostel.

That night we took ourselves to a place called Best Beef. Which for a price you could get all the meat and veggies you can eat in two hours. Each table had their own grills on them which you would then cook the food yourself at the table! Needless to say our large group got their moneys worth! After that, as we wobbled and rolled ourselves out the restaurant we went to Khao San Road. This is a road that is blocked off, so no cars can go up and down, and is instead lined with bars and clubs. There are also street vendors trying to sell you fried scorpions on a stick and the wonderful ping pong show. No we did not see a ping pong show, if you don’t know what that is, good. It was at a place like this that our group had a killer time! They got me to get up and sing karaoke, where passerby took my video. Then we all danced in the streets to loud techno music with what seemed like hundreds of our new close friends (wouldn’t be the only time this week)! Next thing we knew it was past three in the morning. Definitely time to go back and sleep for a few hours before facing the next day!

Day 2 (Monday 10/22) A Cinematic Cure:

We all woke full day number two not feeling our tip top. But we all gathered and rallied and went to this cool breakfast spot located in the floor above a bar. Inside it looked like a cute coffee shop had been set up at someone’s kitchen table. But the bar downstairs looked like you were walking through the hospital wing at an insane asylum. 50% scary, 50% intriguing. Later that day, my girls Shannon and Maia and myself decided that we would treat ourselves to a movie. A Star is Born with Lady Gaga had just come out, and we thought what better time to go! The movie theater we found had a lobby that looked nicer than some of the top hotels in the states. It was absolutely gorgeous and each theater was HUGE, with recliner comfy chairs, and unlike the theaters in Myanmar, there was FRESH popcorn. It was the perfect hangover cure! That night we went back to the insane asylum looking bar because as it turns out was a craft beer bar! They had beers and ciders of all varieties from all over the world. Even my lovely Ballast Point! We also met the owner who was from Canada but had been in the craft beer business for quite sometime. It was definitely a contrast to the night before, but we were the only people in the bar, so it was nice to get out and have good quality beer in a more low key setting.

Day 3 (Tuesday 10/23) Off to Chinatown:

On our last full day in the city, Paul had a great idea of taking a traditional thai motor boat from downtown where we were staying to where the famous palace is. So me and him, along with Maia and Connor, set off in the morning, after getting our Starbucks on an adventure! It was a whirl wind taking that boat! You sit down in the boat, and its in the water instead of on top of. So when you look over the edge of the boat, you almost at level with the water. Now the waves on the river were very choppy that day and getting on and off you didn’t have much help, so it was a constant game of hoping that you wouldn't stand up and fall in the water. But my favorite part of the ride was getting to see the skyline of the city from a new point of view. We saw buildings of all shapes and sizes, Chinatown, pagodas and other ferry type boat cruises passing by.

We didn’t actually go inside any of the major temples or the palace, because we were trying to save money, instead we walk the length around them before finding ourselves in a nice gated park trying to beat the heat. It was there we decided to go into Chinatown for lunch and just to have a look. Upon entering Chinatown it looked very similar to that of the one in San Francisco, just flat. Each establishment was hanging red lanterns, all around you were Chinese symbols advertising different things on different store fronts. After a wild ride getting there watching our driver dodge traffic we found ourselves in the middle of another rain storm.We decided there to turn down what looked like a covered road that was also lined with everything from food stands, to snack shops, to trinket shops. It was down this road that we found the best food I had had in a long time. We got gyoza, pork buns, fried rice, ramen noodles, and all of us got drinks besides water, all for the equivalent of around ten American dollars. It was a tiny hole in the wall place, that if you asked me to find it again I would never be able to. It was truly the best. Everything so fresh and no tourists, that’s how you know it’s good, when it’s all locals.

By the end of the day when the four of us had reached our hostel once more, we had taken four different modes of transportation throughout the course of the day, Paul had broken his shoes, and we were soaked in rain water. Perfect way to say thank you and goodbye to Bangkok. Because the next morning we’d be off to the island!

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datingadviceonreddit · 7 years

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A long story...but worth the read if you're willing to!I met the guy I called my bf 10 days after my last bf left me. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life. I couldn’t believe the guy that walked in to the coffeeshop to sit down across the way from me. I am an engineer, a degree in physics a nerd among nerds among nerds and this guy, a Master’s Degree in sports management, a degree in communications we can call him Mr. Cool. He is Swiss and Indian, so you know just speaks 3 languages fluently, dad works for the UN…I mean come on now. For whatever reason, the dating gods graced me with perfection that day, I was witty, I was charming, I was having a non-bushy hair day. He kissed me outside the subway on the wall at the end of the date and I felt this flutter in my heart that made me let go of all the doubt I had about myself in my last relationships. He was it for me and I thought I had actually nailed it. It turns out he just thought it was hilarious and somewhat adorable that I had spinach (literally) in my teeth our first date.The day I fell for my bf was like a scene out of Pride and Prejudice. We spent the whole day at the Met Museum, me spouting off all my nerdy talk about medieval art, showing him my favorite pieces (yes I know that museum a bit too well). We had planned to grab dinner and a movie on the other side of the park that night. Of course, the second we walked out of the Met it started to downpour. It was like and Indian Monsoon he said. We found a guy selling large umbrellas (which btw where the hell do these umbrella sales peeps come from out of nowhere when it start to rain) and bought one. We walked through the park in the muddy paths all the while stopping to kiss and listen to the rain. And we got soaked… But really come on how could you not fall for someone so patient so sweet so handsome so unbelievably everything I’ve ever wanted in my life. I melted into his warmth in the theater that night while trying not to shiver from my wet feet. The rest as they say is history.The day he told me he loved me was weird. We had gone out that night for his best friends birthday. I had run into a friend on the streets (male) who worked at a wine bar in west village and offered us free champagne for Mr. Cool’s friends bday. Somehow everyone was really against accepting free champagne (they all thought it was like they were getting hustled as they did in Switzerland). We headed over to a club one of my friends was at The Jane which btw is always a horrible plan…there’s literally no air conditioning. At this point I was a little drunk…and when I get drunk I just talk…slurred but yes I talk a lot. I spoke to the bouncer going in and out of the club. Chatted with Mr.Cools friends or so I thought. When we got back to my place, suddenly Mr. Cool was pissed off at me. He started yelling at me and asking me “is this how you always act, just flirt with everyone?” Now just a little background…I am from the west coast. I think talking to everyone is normal, not flirtatious but friendly. And I seriously didn’t believe I was trying to be flirtatious at all that night..even a little (with the bouncer? Like really?) Anyway he made me cry because I didn’t understand what I did wrong. He kept saying he was going to leave me which…flash back a few months before, this same problem happened with my ex who got mad that my ex bfs sent me text messages (even after I showed him the messages). So I panicked started to cry, kept thinking what the hell am I doing wrong and Mr. Cool stop and said…look its cause I love you….RED FLAG #1 The next month I was in his home town in Switzerland. I was in Paris for work that week and wanted to do a weekend trip, had never been to Switzerland but had always wanted to see it. It was incredible. The town was so quaint, the country so beautiful, it was out of a dream. He had connected me to one of his best friends who offered to take me out to some very Euro clubs. Kept asking what I did (as in drugs)to which I responded literally nothing. I just wanted to drink and have fun with one of Mr.Cool’s best friends. We ended staying out until 4:00 am. So I’m a female alone in a foreign city, not that it is a bad city but one of the friends of Mr.Cools friends offered to walk me back to my hotel. We got back to my hotel he said goodbye and I went up to sleep. I wanted to wake up early the next day to check out the sites and play tourist. I woke up to angry texts and phone calls from Mr. Cool who was mad I didn’t text him when I got home…In Switzerland while he was in NY…Mind you I am a 26 year old adult who’s traveled by herself on numerous occasions. I’m not used to checking in with my bf…he yelled at me told me I had ruined his reputation in Switzerland ect ect. I honestly don’t remember how he calmed down eventually but I believe he eventually did.RED FLAG #2 We went out on a date to a burger joint, skipped ahead of the entire line and sat down at a booth. The waiter someone gave us a little grief for doing this but gave us the Ok to stay. So I did what I’ve always done with my wait staff, strike up a convo (I used to be a waitress myself and really loved to talk to my tables.. therefore I assume all people like to talk to tables whoops). I complemented his glasses saying I really like his style, aske a few questions about the signatures on the bricks in the restaurant to see if they were in fact real (yes Dr.Dre had in fact eaten there) ect ect. Suddenly Mr.Cool just falls silent. Won’t respond to me at all. We sit and eat in silence. I wrote (as I literally do at every restaurant) thank you on the receipt with a ❤ heart. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??? Mr. Cool absolutely freaked out that I would ever act like that in front of him. He kept saying how would you feel if I told some girl like nice tits? (maybe not the equivalent of nice glasses?) But I responded, look I am not a jealous person. If you want to hit on girls and get there numbers then don’t be in a relationship but I wasn’t hitting on the waiter…at the burger joint…wearing glasses.RED FLAG #3 I have a really nice apartment in NY. I had recently transition jobs which required me to have a remote desk (working for a company in SF) so had to have a real normal sized room (gasp they exist in NY). Because of this nice apartment and my remote working, I had offered have Mr.Cool leave some stuff at my place every now and again. The reason being, he still had to live with his parents. (Visa problems/going to school and you can’t have an income it was his only solution, not a problem for me at all I really do support it). So the logical thing when you’re in a relationship would be to slowly transition into your gfs place. He left a toothbrush. After 9 months of us dating (6 months formal) that was all he would leave. He would go so far as to spend the night and go home at 7 in the morning because he got tired of bringing his stuff here. I offered time and time again to just keep 2-3 shirts 1 pair of pants and maybe a pair of shoes at my place (btw we live 10-15 min apart at most) and he refused. We’re 27 now…it seemed a bit bizarre. He also never ever wanted to shower with me. I mean each to his own but it really made me feel like he just wasn’t comfortable with me…that I wasn’t sexy enough for him.RED FLAG #4 Mr. Cool is always late…not 10-20-30 min late. 2-3 HOURS late. Every time I invited him out with my friends, he would show up 2-3 hours late, make an excuse that he had to walk the dog, or had to shower, or had to clean or had to blah blah blah. Everytime. In the 9 months (at this point) we had been together he had met my friends twice….He kept saying he hates going out and clubbing and partying. But just before me he was dating a model and did that with here nearly everynight. I understand being burned out…I do but twice is a really bad statistic.RED FLAG #5 When we were together I was always on my phone…It is a bad habit I picked up from dating my high school sweetheart long distance for 7ish years. It’s a problem I have. But when I was with him, he was constantly looking at sport scores, constantly reading articles constantly on Instagram constantly disconnected with me. I think I have a lot of fault in that too but it made it hard for me to break that habit.Ok so now we get into the part where I really fucked up. Yes people I fucked this relationship up, my man among men, I ruined it.I mentioned I had started a new job. I was a remote worker, very disconnected and isolated from social environments and getting worse since my bf never wanted to spend time with my friends and I only wanted to spend time with him. We had these great weeks called strategy weeks where my entire company would go out to SF and we would be in meetings for 12 hours and then dinners and drinks. The whole time my bf would call me and freak out if I didn’t text him when I was home…he kept saying “im just worried about you.” But it felt like he was being possessive and trying to control me. When I was out at work, I needed to focus on learning everything I could from my colleagues and learning what resources I had available should something come up that I don’t know the answer to. See I had moved from being a flood resiliency engineer to working in series reactor/ series capacitor technology…a field dominated by EE Phds. I am a civil engineer….I had a lot a lot a lot a lot to learn. So we would go out to dinners as a group. My colleagues and I. But one time…my colleague invited me to a solo dinner. He had invited other colleagues on solo dinners such as these. My boss who I was closest to in particular suggested I go out to dinner with this guy for traditional Lebanese food. Now I am a young 26 year old at this time, he is a 41 year old well established engineering colleague. I was an absolute naïve idiot to think that he would respect the boundaries of professionalism. So at this dinner I thought everything was good! We talked about my career as and as engineer and that he felt I should really pursue my PE ect ect. It seemed very non-threatening. Plus he was our project engineer so someone I needed to know his skillset to help me in the future as I’m helping progress our projects. He gave me some of his homemade Lebanese drink (kind of like greek ouzo) then I took a car home. Everything was professional and perfect and nothing seemed off.I got laid of January. I was working for a startup and these things happen. I got laid off in a slaughterhouse style where 15 of us were in a room…while the rest of our company was in the other room (of course all my crap happened to be in the nonslaughterhouse room). My 41 year old colleague had a car, I did not. He rescued my stuff, and grabbed me out of the crowd of sympathetic former colleagues. I have never felt so awful in my entire life. I have never felt so rejected and low and miserable in my entire life. He was a saving grace. He told me I have a lot of edible weed and wine. And that was literally all I wanted. Now I will tell you he did try to kiss me once. And I told him time and time again I had a bf and it was inappropriate. We were colleagues nothing more. But I made the STUPID MISTAKE to go with him. I called my bf from the car and he was sympathetic and sweet. I think all I wanted was for him to say come home come back to me I’ll help you, we’ll figure this out, its going to be ok. But he just said “I’m really sorry.” I proceeded to get absolutely blackedout that night. Woke up in a hotel with colleague and freaked out….I didn’t know what had happened I didn’t know how to deal with being laid off. I just wanted to go home.Flash forward to me driving home. My supportive bf tells me to not be too complacent in searching for jobs. I get home…and there’s a laptop on my doorstep. I’m thinking its from my bf, what a sweet and insanely kind thing to do….nope….it was from the 41 year old….then I get flowers…not from my bf but from the 41 year old. At this point I started to feel a bit threatened. I didn’t think this guy had malicious intent but I was wrong. I started seeing this weird doting pattern from him. Now I wanted to tell my bf about it but lets think back to all of the instances when literally nothing was going on and my bf freaked out…and nothing I said or did could assuage his anger. I started thinking this 41 year old…did something to me. He was sending me gifts. He was 100% prepared for when I got laid off…did he get me fired so he could have a shot? He kept saying you’re not engaged, you’re not married, a boyfriend basically means you’re single “girls use that as a defense in the bay all the time.” I mean are you f***ing kidding me? You pursue women who clearly don’t want your attention by justifying it’s just a defense. I don’t know what happened that night…but I started feeling like I was getting hush money. That he had gotten me fired, that he had something over me and he was trying to win me over my bf. I cheated on my bf. The man I loved more than I ever thought I could. I cheated on him with this 41 year old. I saw him when I went to the bay and I cheated on him.Now 41 year old starts to facebook friend request my sisters…and showed up to dinners I had in the bay with my little sister (UNINVITED). I felt so threatened and uncomfortable and I thought…He’s going to tell Mr. Cool I did something with him….he has photos of that night, the night I don’t remember and he’s going to destroy my relationship with him. So I slept with him...More than once. I don't know if it was because I was scared, because I wanted to, because I figured things are over with Mr. Cool, because it seemed right...I dont knowI wanted to tell Mr. Cool. I really did but I didn’t know how to explain or justify what had happened. I knew he would get angry...I just didn't know how muchSo Mr. Cool is graduating…and he gets a guerilla email from someone saying “Hope you’re having fun on you special day, did you know your “girl” has been seeing someone since December?” 41 year old….sent him that message.Now, Mr.Cool confronted me. We talked about everything I told him everything and he decide I needed to work to earn his trust back, that I needed to bend over backwards to be with him again.And I said ok. I signed myself up to go to a counselor (another one from the one I had been seeing since this event happened, new job, new insurance, new counselor). I have busied myself with new volunteer efforts, gone to the climbing gym made plans with gfs worked to be happy by myself with out relying on him to make me happy…worked on just being ok with what happened and trying everyday to earn his trust back. Being forward with him about conversations with other men. Telling him if something had changed from what I previously told him. He assumed I was constantly lying and I ACTUALLY WASNT.So its been a month. I have told him everyday where I’m going who I’m seeing what I’m doing and sometimes things change, we're in a fight so I tell him new facts after. For example, a guy friend of mine who he is insanely jealous of since he is an ex of mine from 5 years ago wasn't going to a wedding I'm attending but is now going to a wedding I'm attending. This all came to light while we were fighting...it wasn't my top priority to tell him. But I did tell him with in 3-4 days of me finding this out for myself.He has called me a whore, he has told me he is going to kill himself because of this break up, he told me I had to have sucked a guys dick off in order to get my new job, he has told all of his friends and family I cheated on him and has isolated me from everyone else. He has accused me of wanting to sleep with all of my guy friends. He got mad at me for deleting photos when I tried to break up with him for the 100 time because I can’t take it anymore. He accused me of deleting photos so I could sleep with whoever I wanted when I had to travel for work… Who actually does that and like photographic evidence stops men from hitting on someone???I am at my lowest low. I don’t know what to do. I went out last night with old friends from my undergrad, males and females and he got so mad at me….He was out with his friends who didn’t want me to come because of what I did to him… I need some advise. I love him…I want to work though this but I really need the guy to meet me like 10% of the way there and I will carry the other 90%. He’s absolutely allowed to be hurt and angry but at what point is it too much?! There have been so many problems in this relationship and I’ve stood by thinking its just a phase, eventually he’ll leave stuff here, eventually he’ll want to hang out with my friends, eventually he’ll prioritize me over walking his dog…these were problems long before the 41 year old happened.I MESSED UP…I KNOW I DID I CHEATED ON HIM. But how do I move forward in this if he’s not willing to work to forgive me? via /r/dating_advice

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