#i was reading thru all my old notes id written smiling and loving it they said gross stuff

[hauntedotherworld]

WTF . so i went back to sleep for a few hours(?) cuz i woke up earlu and then i took the d**** tht made me sleepy. anwyay. I HAD THE MOST DISTURBING DREAM/NIGHTMARE. so in the dream i was in this huge mansion-like? place, and there was a c+*pse. in my cupboard, along with tons of notes that dream-me had wrote at 11 which were extremely disturbing (abt c**pses n m*rder n all sorts of weird things and id talked abt how much i love it etc etc. anyway, so now dream-me,who is an adult now, needed to get rid of thr disgusting c*rpse woman with a sl/: th***t id apparently been GIVEN as a kid from some sicko or ordered online or found? IDK or smthn - for some reason it was hardly decomposed at all (dream logic) but it STUNK n it was all gross , anyway, dream me was very distressed of what to do with it as people were everywhere. i wanted to come clean about it but i was so scared of what’d happen, i almost told my mther but of course cpuldnt. then i called the police who kinda were psychologists? and i was talking to them abt how i love crime shows and mysteries n creepy stuff,just trying to come up with a convincing story so when i would lead them to the LITERAL C**PSE IM MY CUPBOARDthey wouldnt arrest me , but again, i was so terrified (because secretly it was all just because i was some sicko who enjoyed having c***ses around and all my disturbing notes were there that were very creepy and stuff). so i lead them through alot of rooms which somehow ended up in this building of this really rich or succesful guy, they kinda disapeared as i said nothing was wrong, but some spy kindof doctor guy? mightve known a bit more abt why i was there nd he led me througg dark rooks with books and rep silk curtains to help etc but people were everywhere in each room (so we had to keep going because there was nowhere secret) everytime i tried to somehow bring it up in a normal waytheir were bugged rooms ao i couldnt. anyway, i ended up saying nothings the matter and the whole time im super stressed abt someone finding it so i dont know what to do with it (also at one point , at the start of the dream i remember calling the c***se girl so ‘pretty’ and i found her even better as a c***se with a s**** thr**t .. DREAM ME WAS LEGIT FUCKED UP) so i was secretly sad abt having to get rid of her. i ended up brainstorming many idea i thought of in detail and ended up carrying the stinky,grey body to this hole id dug prior, that turned into a water-hole, threw her in there (as i walked to it i swear i talked to someone but i forgot some of the dream now) and i was so nervous, i started throwing bricks in the pond to cover her up, but of course i needed to drain the pond and cement it-that part was kinda blurry-anyway it endes up filled with bricks so i needed to take the top layer of bricks that stuck out the ground away and then i covered it with dirt to blend into the existing ground. because i was paranoid asf somebody would dig there and find it… that kinda ended the dream. WTF it was a nightmare

[anotherbeingsworld]

Letters from the Past

Pairing: Bryce x  F!MC (Casey Valentine)

Book: Open Heart

Word Count: 1929

Summary: Casey stumbles to her past letters whilst cleaning especially a particular one. (The letter will be in italic form)

Rating/Warning: FLUFF/None

Link to my MASTERLIST.

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Casey Valentine is starting her daily routine by finishing up house chores on her day off. As a doctor, she rarely has off days. But, when one occurred she would take the chance to finish up her duties. Both, Casey and Bryce, managed to score the same off days which giving them a chance to catch up on lost time with their son, Louis who is already 5 years old.

The three of them would work together to complete the chores, even Louis would insist on holding the broom as Casey sweeps on the floor. Bryce would take on the heavy stuff such as wiping the windows. But, for the day a major task Casey wanted to tackle was to finally clear up the attic of their home. Casey and Bryce managed to get themselves a house with 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms  before Louis was born. It has been their home ever since.

Casey takes a deep breath as she made her way to the attic, which is quite dusty. She recalled the last time she was here is to store some of Louis’s baby stuff which is either two or three years ago. Casey tries to find her way to the nearest light switch but failed miserably as she felt a strong pair of arms were wrapped around her, making her scream in fear.

‘Got you!’ Bryce cheered as Casey glared at her.

‘That is not funny Bryce!’ She crossed her arms at him.

‘Aw, I’m sorry.’ Bryce pleads with his puppy dog eyes which managed to make her smile.

‘You are lucky that I am your wife.’

‘Yep, I am glad you are mine.’ Bryce placed his arms around her waist and placed a small kiss on her cheek as she blushed from the action.

‘Okay, okay. As much as I love your display of affection towards me, we have a huge task in front of us.’ Casey gestures the room around her.

‘Cleaning the attic. Goodness, I never realized we have so much stuff in here.’ Bryce commented in disbelief as he took the surroundings.

‘I think most of the stuff was from Louis’s early days. Either that or it is the stuff from your apartment.’ Her eyes scanned the room towards the boxes that were stacked on top of one another.

Bryce and Casey decide to divide and conquer, as he was working on the right side of the room whilst Casey works on the opposite. She was digging through the boxes, feeling fascinated by each item she founds which includes, some of Louis’s early baby rompers which made her squeal in delight, some old knickknacks from their trips together, a box filled with holiday decorations that are needed to be set somewhere they can see for future use. After a long moment of examining every found item, Casey felt herself let out a gasp as she found a familiar box, which is sealed perfectly. She felt herself staring at it in disbelief, her hands shaking as she started to open it. There it was, the letters. Her letters from the past, some of the important events had taken place when she wrote each of the letters’. She felt herself staring at the letters, after all these years.

‘Cas? Should we throw out the old costumes from years ago?’ Bryce shouted from the other side of the room, but he didn’t get a response. He stands up from his spot and makes her way to Casey. She was seen sitting down on the floor still clutching those letters in her hands.

‘Hey Cas, you okay?’ Bryce took a seat beside her, as his eyes fall on her.

‘Yeah, I found these, and… it’s been a while since I have seen them.’ Casey gestures towards the letters that she uncovers.

‘These are the letters you mentioned before right? The one and I quote, you write during ‘special occasions’.’ Bryce added a quoted gesture as he took one of the letters from the box.

‘First Day at Edenbrook’ Bryce reads the words written on top of it, as Casey felt herself redden remembering her first kiss with Bryce at Donahue’s during her first day at the job.

‘That is one of the ‘special occasions’ I’m talking about, it’s the first day of me being a doctor; a special day for me. A start of something special.’ Casey said as her gaze falls towards Bryce who smiles at her, as he placed a kiss on her knuckles.

Casey tears the letter off and started to read it. As those words were rolled on her tongue, the memories flooded back in her mind as Bryce is listening to her every word.

Feb 29, 2019.

It is here, my first day working at Edenbrook! I am super excited that I couldn’t help myself smiling as I walk through the hospital halls after getting my ID. The doctor who was in charge named Dr. Ines Delorasa was super nice, and it helps me on easing my nerves a little. But, something unexpected occurred. There was an emergency happening in the lobby as a woman was suddenly unconscious. I felt the need to help, and one thing that flew through my mind is, the fact that my moment is happening. It’s right now, as I checked the woman’s vitals feeling a strike of nerve inside of me. I felt a presence and saw a male doctor who is looking a bit tense. I took a deep breath, before figuring out the situation which is a hemothorax after a few blank slate which I am not proud off.  After all the commotion, my adrenaline was still pumping as the woman was brought into surgery. Honestly, I would never get tired of doing this for a career. Despite my heroic save, I managed to end up getting chewed by Dr. Ethan Ramsey and my scrubs were ruined on the first day.

‘And that’s how Casey Valentine meets the legendary Bryce Lahela in the locker room.’ Bryce winks at her interrupting her reading.

‘You still remember it?’ Casey questioned him, as the details from that day were crystal clear.

‘Of course, I was displaying this magnificent bod when we first meet and that’s where you fall in love with this…’ Bryce stood up and gestured his figure as she just shook her head with a light chuckle escaping her lips.

‘Whatever you say Bryce.’ She replied as she continues reading it.

It’s a good start for the day, sarcastically speaking. After changing into a pair of clean digs, I finally got a chance to meet my first patient, Annie! She was the sweetest, and somehow I am glad I got to keep her company for the day since somehow I felt alone in the job at the moment. We were talking but, the worst had happened; she falls unconscious. CODE BLUE. I felt myself getting anxious as I never expected it to happen, but honestly; the medicine world is full of mysteries. I panicked, and fortunately, Jackie was there able to help me recover Annie, which unfortunately lead me to be chewed again by Dr. Ramsey for the second time. Goodness at that moment, I wanted to quit so bad.

‘If you ever quit, us would never happen. That thought is mind-blowing.’ Bryce mimes a meme he saw online, where everything goes boom; mindblown.

‘Well, one almost felt like quitting after getting chewed by your medical hero. Not once, but twice.’ Casey sighed remembering her old days before, but she didn’t regret being called out. She learned from it and honestly, she wouldn’t be a good doctor without it. She quickly makes a mental note to thank Dr. Ramsey for it soon as she continues.  

At that moment, the words from Dr. Ramsey sting as I make my way to the empty supply closet. I thought the myth of crying on your first day of work was something that only happens in tv shows but this is real. I sobbed my way through the moment when the door creaked open, it was one of the moments where I wished I could cast a spell and become invisible but nope, I had to face him. He sat beside me, as I wipe the tears away. We sat silently, as he started to ask. I told him everything because, at that moment, it felt right. And, he listened. One thing he said, had stuck to me today is ‘If you don’t give a chance to make mistakes to get better, nobody else will.’ It stuck with me until now, and it somehow helps. We ended up hugging, and well… one thing leads into another as I started to kissed him, and we ended up getting interrupted by Dr. Mirani, which is not my finest moment, unfortunately. But, it somehow felt like the start of something special, and that day where I start to trust magical beginnings or perhaps. Just magic, in the way life works. 

Love,

Casey.

Bryce lets out a laugh as she finishes,

‘You sign your name for a letter that you won’t send?’

‘I am a classy lady, and signing a letter with my name makes it feel a bit more special.’ Casey sticks her tongue out at him.

‘Alright Mr.s Lahela, you know I never regret kissing you in the supply closet before…’ Bryce said with a smirk on his face.

‘I’m glad you don’t, after that moment… I somehow feel myself falling for you and let’s just say, I was silently waiting for more.’ Casey felt a blush crept on her face over her statement.

‘Don’t worry Cas, you got me for life. I can’t wait to tell Louis about how an incident brought his parents together. It would be one hell of a story.’ Bryce stated with a proud expression on his face.

‘It’s not an incident, I happened to face a lot of unfortunate events that day and somehow a miracle came thru and later become my very own husband.’ Casey places her arms around his waist pulling him into her embrace.

‘Here’s to all the unfortunate events that brought us together. That day, I somehow feel like you are something special and I am glad to be yours now, forever and always.’ He said as their foreheads were touching.

‘I am glad to be yours as well.’ They stood that way for a while as they remember how far they have come from their first encounter until an ecstatic shout brought them back to real life.

They heard footsteps coming up the stairs, as they glanced and saw Louis looking excitedly at both of them followed by an exasperated Keiki who is smiling as she is catching up with the energetic Louis Keili Lahela who resembles his mother, but at the same time inherit both Bryce’s beautiful brown eyes and smile.

‘Mom, dad! Aunt Keiki and I made a huge Lego tower! ’ His voice chimed through the attic leaving an echo.

‘I did most of the part, but the little guy is getting the hang of it.’ Keiki said with a wink as Louis ended up running away once more making her race towards him in a playful manor. 

Casey and Bryce smile at the sight, as he pulled her into an embrace as they get back to work. 

‘Duty calls.’ He said before going back to his position in the attic as Casey placed the letter back and smile at how far their journey had grown and honestly, it’s one of the best adventures in her life.

THE END. 

A/N: Hi! I have a new fic, and I am pretty excited about this one! Its one of my favorite, and I really enjoy the concept. I think writing letters is a favorite aesthetic, I should call it? This idea has been flying in my mind for a while, so why not.Honestly, whilst writing this; i feel much better now and I guess I am feeling a bit happy too since my last fic (which is a few days ago, lol but it feels good now.)  I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for reading it! - A

Tags: @soederberg​ ; @choicessa​ ; @mvalentine​ ; @storyofmychoices​ ; @dcbbw​ ; @bitchloveskcbaseball​ ; @n-whas​ ; @annekebbphotography​ ; @mrsbhandari​ ; @princess-geek​ ; @aylamwrites​ 

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life