day 299
cha boy is starting on a cpap machine for the first time tonight
it turns out, that when i sleep, my cringe-ass larynx blocks itself up, and i STRAIGHT UP STOP BREATHING for up to 20 seconds at a time! of course i have always managed to start back up again, but as u might imagine this doesn't lead to great sleep quality
so wish me luck on getting that Good Sleep for once. god gives his toughest battles to his sleepiest warriors and all that.
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i want to write this fic that's like — cowboy bakugou, late 1800's style LOL
with him as a leeeeetle bit older, spent his life in cattle drives, wanted to be a marshal at some point, but his health and injuries from his younger days made it hard 🥺 he doesn't settle down, doesn't have any kids though he's in his mid-30's, and — one day he gets a letter that toshinori dies.
it's really supposed to be deku's responsibility, but only god knows where he is. probably got the news and can't accept it, too chicken-shit to face it. yeah, it tears katsuki up inside, too, but someone has to stick around in musutafu and help figure out his estate, the ranch.
help figure out you.
toshinori married in his late age, an ad he put out on the paper. bought you, as katsuki has always said, though the older man would always just smile wryly at the comment, look around at his extensive acreage, his horses and cattle, and he'd say,
"i only want someone to share this with, young man, do you understand?"
and he didn't. he really, really didn't. especially because you were younger than even bakugou, fresh-faced, hardly knew how to cook anything decent or how to ride a horse. waste of money, in katsuki's eyes.
but when he arranges his feelings right, he meets you on the ranch and — you're scared, because you're now a widowed woman and everyone and their mama wants a piece. you have the money, now, to upkeep the place but you've never done it by yourself. have learned more in the few years you've been married but it's a big place, a big responsibility.
and when katsuki hears that the bank wants to take it all from you, he's all, "over my dead fuckin' body."
it's really all deku's responsibility, since he and toshinori were closer, but you need someone now. and if bakugou has to stay in the house with you and help with the ranch, make sure no one comes to bother you—
then he'll do it. because that's what the old man would've wanted.
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I’m sorry your story got cancelled that SUCKS. Is there any way you will be able to share it otherwise?
yeah so basically they're refusing to air it because it was too controversial and dangerous, but my producer told me that to story was so well done and was so perfect that he told me i should submit it into video and journalism competitions that my local community does. like, he said it was PERFECT- he showed it to every single producer up the food chain and they said it was fantastic, but just too "controversial", so they refused to air it. they didn't like that i didn't have the perspective of "the other side", they didn't like that i wore arabic on my shirt, they didn't like that the protesters were using posters that condemned zionism, so they just told me it's not airing. despite that, it was genuinely so perfect that my producer told me i HAVE to put it on my portfolio and submit it to different events and competitions to make it get recognized. so i guess i'll be doing that instead. it's just not airing for my studio.
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While I was reading your slider oneshot for the third time (sooooo good btw, i cant say enough how much i love your writing), I kept thinking about Ice and Sliders conversation about Carole-[“Me and Carole?” Ice said, thinking it over. He smiled his bitter, bashful smile— “Yeah, we might’ve worked out, once. I won’t get into the details. We tried it out. But I don’t think the timing was right.”]-What is Ice referencing here?? Is he referring to when Carole kissed him? Or did I miss something (entirely possible tbh)? I really felt like Mav when I read that scene ["What do Admiral Kazansky and Carole Bradshaw get up to when he doesn’t know about it?"]
The parallel of Mav being [redacted] with Goose and Carole liking/loving/pining for Ice. Wow! So deliciously complex. What an interesting little love square they have going on. Bradley and his four parents.
But man...Carole really is such a tragic figure in both canon and your fic. But I really really love the depth of emotion that you give her in the glimpses that we get. Her relationships with both Mav and Ice are so interesting and layered. They just feel very real. I really really loved the gimpse of her point of view you gave us in the Dad!Ice fic (the half empty box of cigarettes!! I still think about that)
this is such a sweet ask. thank you. yes he was referring to her kissing him (not really “trying it out,” to be fair, but he’s also trying to “prove” to slider that he’s still interested in women, so he’s using even the most tangential of evidence and holding it up like “see? See? not gonna give you all the details but Trust Me bro we tried it out😎”)
& also here’s from my notes in my printed-out copy of my fics from last OCTOBER (whoa). Referring to the scene in the hospital when Carole gives ice & maverick the instructions to pull Bradley’s USNA app & suggests she & ice have discussed it previously (they haven’t).
Carole is pretty much the only person who is around both Ice & mav enough to know the truth of who they are. (Slider also recognizes this— “ice let Carole Bradshaw see his happiness but not slider… :( que cruel”. And the whole “she is literally the only camera capturing icemav’s happiness on film for the historical record” section of slider
.) And Carole therefore is the only person to whom ice quite literally cannot deny that he & maverick are together, because she… has eyes. And is their best friend. and they’re raising her kid with her. So that sets her up as like a confessional character, in that ice HAS to be truthful with her in a way he isn’t with anyone else, including… his literal boyfriend maverick. so it’s a pretty easy leap for Maverick to be like, It’s a given that ice does not honestly want to be with me, a man -> but he is honest about his feelings with Carole, a woman who has expressed interest in him, behind my back (“what do admiral Kazansky & Carole Bradshaw get up to when he doesn’t know about it?”) -> Omg they’re having a heterosexual emotional affair. Which, like, they totally might be? which is why i keep going back to the *possibility* that they might have worked out once, had it not been for the simultaneous timing of ice falling in love with maverick, since ice is also Bradley’s no. 1 dad figure in my story. Which slider points out.
From a heterosexual family planning perspective, ice & Carole together just kinda makes sense. In a way that everyone in the story recognizes, for better or worse.
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