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#i wld ramble a lot in my tags n vent sometimes yeah
noxtivagus · 2 years
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bruh
#🌙 rambles#i keep on rambling sm on tumblr ohmy god#anyways rn i just#😭😭#goddamn i really want to socialize and interact more but it drains me so much#going on my twt gives me anxiety so#i'm thinking about making a priv but#i've also been planning to make another account for ffxiv hhhh#wld 4 accounts be too much to handle ? 💀#on instagram i do want to post on my main but i'm too shy too#i feel safe in my dump priv over there but i lowkey want other ppl to see my posts as well hhhh#i love my 3 best friends but i want my other friends to see more of me as well 😭#+ i have an ffxiv account over there as well that i want to start using more#on tumblr i want to get back into writing !#maybe it's the familiarity of this app or the uh trauma i've alrdy experienced before that's made me immune to further stress idk but#i'm thankful that i'm not too stressed abt tumblr#i mean i mostly just post and ramble abt this and that atm so yeah nothing worth stressing abt rn over here but#admittedly i'm anxious that i may ramble too much...?#i wld ramble a lot in my tags n vent sometimes yeah#hmm god i'm so lost and confused rn#i've been trying to be more open but it's still hard for me to do so#old habits die hard i suppose#even though i want to open up more to others i subconsciously always keep a high wall up#eh maybe i'm just bored rn ?#i woke up at 6pm again hhhh perhaps that's the reason for all this#i really need to fix my sleep schedule and take better care of myself#ow i'll just continue rambling in my notes sob i'll be productive later#tag later
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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i'll just ramble a bit again in tags ><
#🌙.rambles#🌙.vents#YEAH I DON'T THINK I SLEPT VERY WELL 💀#i rlly do hate being negative like this here i'll fix it sometime during the break but i'll cope rq by doing this before i do yeah#i'm v aware of how being negative affects others 😭 but like oh man it rlly isn't good to bottle things up either but#i don't really have anyone that i can vent to? i mean. i don't want to when i know that others have their own struggles too#i'd much rather listen to them. i'm fine on my own i just need to write it i think. so tumblr tags ily i'll fix my spam account soon fr#i write a lot to myself i talk to myself yeah i barely talk to others as much as i talk to myself. dumping someway somehow in#a place that only. those who rlly want to or seek to read this in some way wld know of the things i write. an interesting thought#i guess one way of putting it as well is i'm like the ocean. or the sky; which is. quite like an ocean too. with its depth#i mean i really just want to be authentic n myself but some experiences that hurt me stuck this sort of.. idk smth in me still that#subconsciously there's always this barrier there's always this. yeah. so one of my idk one of the things i struggle with is#do you know the real me? the me that you know that you like /p is it idealized? is it just the things i've done for you or#the image you have of me that you.. yeah? i hate that doubt bcs i do want to believe n when i do i. cry bcs that means a lot to me#I'M RAMBLING. hdfjaslkdfj :c i mean i'm human too n i'm not immune to doubt sob ffxiv has that one quote w minfilia that. rlly gives me hop#i grew up feeling lonely often despite still having friends. acceptance.. i relate to hermes a lot fr :c#i think i'm more honest here on tumblr than directly w others. yeah definitely. i'm more of a listener w others#oh god fr i think i feel especially helpless inside bcs there's sm things that just feel so similar to a certain time in my life i've#buried a bit. i genuinely don't remember the last few months of 2020 n early 2021 well at all i distracted myself from. certain stuff#listening to vg osts is such a comfort rn oh man. living legacy. don't think twice. radical dreamers. kiss me good-bye 🥹#i was gna write smth but i forgot. oh well i shld finish this article critique anyways so i'll work on that now
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