#i’m sorry that your qb has to get carried by his defense

[j-herb]

just recieved intel that “thag” is mainly used by joey b stans i am sick 💔💔

[abigailpoe]

Senior Night (Chris x MC)

Summary: It’s Senior night for football, and Chris is nervous about impressing Jerry (MC) and some NFL scouts.

Rating: PG

Requested by @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid

Senior night. The biggest game of the year besides homecoming. Chris wasn’t looking forward to this being the last home game that he would ever get to play at Hartfeld. To be perfectly honest, he was nervous as hell. He had a lot riding on this game, including scouts from many of the country’s best NFL teams. He had heard rumors in the past few weeks that they were going to be there for him, but they weren’t who he was trying to impress. He was trying to impress Jerry.

While Jerry had always said that he didn’t need to work so hard to impress her, he wanted to do it. He wanted to get drafted into the NFL so he could provide the best life possible for her. He wanted her to have anything she ever dreamed of, and for him, he dreamed of her. He loved her so much more than he had ever loved anyone else, and he didn’t ever want her to forget that.

Zig came up behind Chris and put his hand on Chris’s shoulder. “You ready, Cap?” he asked.

Chris let out a sigh and ran his hands across his face. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” Chris took a breath, standing up to face Zig. “Zig, can I tell you something?”

Zig nodded. “Of course, you always can.”

Chris took a breath. “That day, when we met in the coffee shop, I never thanked you. You stood up for Jerry, and I can never thank you enough. Then, you and her started getting close, and I got a little jealous.”

Zig laughed a little. “Why?”

Chris looked down at the floor. He let out a sigh. “Because, well, I knew how busy I was going to get, and then things got rough there for a bit. I wasn’t giving her enough attention.” Chris looked back up at his best friend. “And look at you.”

Zig laughed and slapped Chris on the back. “She loved you, and she still does. You had no reason to be jealous.”

Chris laughed. “I actually needed to talk to you about something else, too. I’ve been Captain for three years now, and next year, I need someone I trust to step up and take my place. I want that to be you.”

Zig’s mouth dropped. “Are you serious!?!” Zig scooped Chris up into a hug.

When Zig let go of Chris, he stepped back awkwardly. “I take it that’s a yes.”

“It’s a hell yes.” Zig smiled.

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang had gotten special clearance to sit on the sidelines. Kaitlyn had already sung the National Anthem, Jerry was there for the news, and others snuck in with them. James, working at Hartfeld now, was allowed down there already.

Abbie shivered, and Tyler wrapped a blanket around them for them to share. “Do you think Chris is ready for this?” Abbie asked.

Jerry shrugged. “He wants to go pro so bad, and there’s a lot of scouts here tonight. I really hope it works out well for him.”

“I think it’s more of him trying to impress you.” Zack states. He took a drink of his soda. “He wants the best for you, and if going pro means that, then he’ll do it at any cost.”

“I really don’t want him to sell out and get hurt.” Jerry sighed. She knew in the back of her mind that Zack was right. Chris would do anything for her. It was a wonderful trait, but a terrifying one at that. While it was nice he’d do anything, she feared for his safety.

James spoke up. “Chris will be careful.” Jerry slowly nodded. I hope so.

A little while later, the team took the field, and Chris jogged over to where the group was sitting. Jerry stood up and wrapped Chris into a big hug. He kissed the top of her head.

“You ready for this?” she asked him. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

He nodded. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

She stood on her toes and kissed his soft lips. Jerry pulled back with a smirk and lowered her voice. “Either way, you’re going to be winner at some point tonight.”

Chris smirked. “I like the sound of that.”

“Now, go get them, Cap.” She smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He smiled. He kissed her on the forehead and ran over to the team.

Jerry sat down between Abbie and Kaitlyn, letting out a big sigh. Kaitlyn put her arm Jerry, knowing something was wrong. “Are you okay, bud?”

Jerry looked up at Kaitlyn, tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to loose him.” her voice cracked.

Kaitlyn stroked Jerry’s arms. “You’re not going to loose him. What’s gotten into you?”

Jerry took a breath, trying to calm herself and stop the tears. “A guy I dated in high school, we dated for about a year. He was a year older than me, and he got a college scholarship to a local school. He was the starting QB as a freshman. The last game of the season, he got hit pretty hard. He broke part of his neck, bruised a few ribs, and got a concussion. He...” she took a breath, and the tears fell. “He didn’t remember who I was. I showed him pictures, I told him stories. Nothing worked.”

Abbie pulled Jerry into a tight hug from one side, and Kaitlyn from the other. “Awe, Jerry... I’m so sorry.” Abbie whispered. “Does Chris know?”

The hug broke and Jerry shook her head no. “How could I tell him? Say ‘Hey Chris, I know how much you love football and you’ve dreamed of going pro, but I don’t want you to do that because I don’t want you to forget who I am. I love you and thanks for understanding.’“

Kaitlyn rolled her eyes. “Chris would understand that you’re scared for him.”

Jerry sighed and wiped her tears away. “Can we just focus on the game right now?”

It was now nearing the end of the game, five seconds left, and Hartfield had the ball. Two yards. Down by one point after the last touchdown. Chris had a plan, and he needed Zig for it. The team huddled up.

“Zig, I’m going to need you to get the ball in.”

Zig nodded. “Sure thing, Cap.”

The huddle broke, and Chris gave the signal to go. He faked the ball off to one of the teammates, and then passed it behind his back to Zig. Zig leaped over the other team's defense and into the end zone. Out of the corner of his eye, Chris saw one of the linemen for the other team come barreling at him. Time seemed to slow as he braced himself for the tackle.

Meanwhile, Jerry watched the whole thing unfold from the sidelines. She saw Chris go down, but she didn’t see him get back up. Paramedics ran onto the field to where his lifeless body lay. 

“Chris!” she yelled. She stood up and started to run, but James and Becca held her back.

Tears rose up in her eyes. “That’s not going to help.” Becca said, trying to calm her down.

“Let go of me!” Jerry yells. James pulls Jerry into a hug and she pulls them onto the ground as she cries into his chest. While not looking, the medics place Chris onto a stretcher and carry him off the field.

Zig came running over to where the group is. “Jerry!” he yells.

She looks up, mascara down her cheeks and her eyes bloodshot. “What happened?” Jerry said between breaths.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to go find him,” Zig said, helping her to her feet.

The two of them took off running across the field, ignoring all the others on the field. They ran by the press and the other members of the team. They ran down the same tunnel they had taken Chris. Zig took a left, and there was a group of people outside a door. Above the door, a sign read ‘Medic’.

The two slowed, and one of the men looked up at the two of them. “I’m sorry Zig, but there are no visitors right now.”

“Please, sir, please let me see him...” Jerry begs, tears rolling down her cheeks.

The man inspects Jerry, unsure of how to react to the mess standing in front of him. “Who are you?”

“I’m Jerry. I’ve been dating Chris for almost four years now. Please, may I see him?” She asked kindly, even though she wanted to scream.

The man nodded. “Chris has told me a lot about you. He says you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

Jerry interjected the man. “To be frank right now, and I mean no disrespect, but I just really need to see him.”

“Why do you need to see him so badly, besides the fact that he’s your boyfriend?” He asked.

Jerry glanced at Zig. “Zig, please don’t tell anyone, but I’m pregnant...”

The man and Zig both gasped, and the man moved to the side to allow Jerry into the room. She went in alone, and she found Chris on a cot, his leg covered in ice. He wasn’t unconscious, which seemed like a good sign to Jerry.

He looked up from his phone at her. “Well, we won...”

She went and sat down by him, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped one arm around her and rubbed his thumb in tiny circles on her arm. ��Chris, I thought I lost you. I was scared.”

“I’m tougher than I look.” He joked. She looked up at him.

He had never seen her so vulnerable in their time together, and in all honesty, it scared him. Jerry had never been one to be weak, let alone cry. The last time he had seen her like this was right after the car accident. He knew that she was truly scared of loosing him.

“Why were you crying?” He asked, rubbing some of the mascara stains off of her face. Jerry, then, explained the whole ordeal that happened to her high school, and he understood.

“I can’t play anymore...” Chris said.

Jerry looked up at him. “Is it me? Chris, I don’t want to be why you can’t play.”

Chris shook his head no. “You see, Jerry, the dream I always had when I was a kid was to play pro football, and it was for a long time. Now, my leg is so screwed up, I can't even finish this season. A part of me will always want that, but there’s a safer way to do it, like coaching.”

“Why are you talking past tense?” Jerry asked.

Chris smiled, kissing her forehead. “Because you’re my dream now.”

Jerry couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I guess both of us will have to be your dream...”

“Both?” Chris asked.

Jerry smiled. “Yeah, you know, me and this little guy or girl.” She points to her stomach.

Chris let’s out a big whoop and scoops Jerry onto his lap. He kisses Jerry’s lips, and then he kisses her stomach. “I’m going to be a dad...”

Jerry laughed. “Yeah, and an amazing one at that.”

“Well... Jerry, I was going to wait until tomorrow, but in my bag, there’s a box with your ring in it.” Chris states, pointing to the corner.

“I love you.” Jerry smiles.

Chris leaned forward kissing her cheek. “I love you more.”

“I love you most.” She replies.

“Impossible.” Chris smiles. He then kisses Jerry’s stomach again. “That goes for you too, little guy or girl.”

[junker-town]

8 players I’m watching this NFL season

You owe it to yourself to pay attention to these guys.

By this point you’ve probably locked your Week 1 rosters for fantasy football, and that’s a good thing. Truth be told, I’m really pretty terrible at fantasy football. It’s a world that demands a very different mind to that of just appreciating NFL games. It’s like watching someone good play Madden, someone really good, who has an innate understanding of what breaks the A.I. and will always pick up a big gain on offense.

Instead I want to talk about the players I just can’t stop thinking about. The guys who I know will do something incredible every week, and who I cannot wait to see back on the field.

Justin Jefferson

God, I’m such a sucker for LSU wide receivers. I have no idea what’s in that Baton Rouge water but the Tigers need to bottle it and give it to every pass catcher around the nation. It feels like it’s been such a long time since we’ve truly seen a receiver so good he makes up for his quarterback, but that’s exactly what Jefferson did for the Vikings in his rookie season.

I’m not here to litigate the skills of Kirk Cousins, because Kirk Cousins is too boring to even warrant time on the court docket. Instead we should focus on a dude who caught 88 passes for 1,400 yards in his friggin’ rookie season. Know the last time that’s happened in the modern era? How about never.

Anquan Boldin: 1,377 yards

Odell Beckham Jr.: 1,305 yards

The GOAT himself, Randy-freaking-Moss: 1,313 yards

I want nothing more in this world that to see Jefferson dominate again, because frankly it’s been too damn long since the league had a must-watch receiver. Hell, it’s probably been since OBJ was making stupid one-handed catches and flexing on the entire league, and go figure, he was from LSU too.

I’m a sucker for feeling like I’m a part of history, and the possibility of seeing the emergence of one of the greatest receivers of all time is enough of an allure that I’ll actually subject myself to watching Kirk Cousins play football.

Derrick Henry

I’ve been trying to limit my red meat consumption under the assumption that reducing my carbon footprint will help the world, so Derrick Henry is my giant weekly helping of beef.

Everything about football is time and place. Go back a decade and Henry would be in the mix with a lot of stellar, league-defining running backs. Now, he’s an iconoclast in a league that keeps pushing more and more towards passing, and ignoring the sweet science of mashing a dude into the turf with a stiff arm and a steely grin.

The season, perhaps more than any other, I cannot wait to see what Henry does in Tennessee. With Julio Jones in the mix it’s going to be a fascinating weekly drama of “who’s defending who?” with Henry more than likely getting a chance to do his own thing and obliterate people, because that’s favorable to giving up 20+ in the air.

Derrick Henry's tired of the helmet on a stick...he needs live bodies to stiff arm pic.twitter.com/A5QcDKIhny

— Buck Reising (@BuckReising) September 6, 2021

If Derrick Henry turns his own teammates into sacrificial lambs, then what the hell is he going to do to his opponents?

Every single poor sap on the Texans

Okay look, I know this breaks my conventions a little because “58 players I’m watching this NFL season” doesn’t have the SEO-friendly ring to it, but I’m lumping the entire Texans team into this scenario as one sorry player.

I truly did not believe things could get worse for Houston than last season, but by gawd they found a way, didn’t they? You know David Johnson? The running back they traded DeAndre Hopkins for? He’s their backup running back to a 31-year-old Mark Ingram now.

I honestly feel slightly bad for the individual players on the Texans, because there are a ton of genuinely delightful individuals on this team. Collectively their depth chart looks like Santa’s workshop if all the elves decided to run off and become dentists, so dolls were pieces together by unskilled labor.

The elves really should have unionized.

Daniel Jones

Let it be known that above all else I am a petty, petty bitch — and while Daniel Jones is, by all accounts, a nice gentleman, he does represent something I love to hate on with the fury of 1,000 suns: Dave Gettleman.

I watched firsthand while Gettleman systematically destroyed my beloved Carolina Panthers are turned away team legends like Steve Smith with a bedside manner best described as “imagine if Jason Vorhees was your orthopedic surgeon.”

Jones represents his biggest roll of the dice. The guy Gettleman took and told the world to “trust him.” He passed on Josh Allen, gave Jones the rope to let Justin Herbert fly by a year later, now he’s getting one more year to prove he’s the guy, following a draft where New York could have selected Justin Fields.

I know Giants fans have reached the same point Panthers fans did with Gettleman. He made us all chuckle with his old man phraseology to start his tenure, then it became abundantly apparent he was still looking at football as if it was being played during the Reagan administration with no appreciation for what was happening in the modern game.

I don’t think this story is going to end well, and while I’m sorry for Giants fans, I promise it’ll be worth it to get rid of Gettleman.

Justin Herbert

Hey, it’s the guy I just talked about the Giants passing on. Cool.

Anyway, I love watching Justin Herbert play ... a lot. He looks like a 12-year-old and plays like a 40-year-old veteran. In fact, I’m not 100 percent sure Herbert really is entering his second year, and he’s not some wily veteran like Peyton Manning aging backwards like Benjamin Button.

I’d really like Herbert to succeed because dammit, I want the Chargers to succeed. I don’t know if there’s a more historically likable team than this one, but who never, ever seems to catch a break. Philip Rivers was a really nice guy, LaDanian Tomlinson was also a delightful fellow — I want Herbert to succeed where they didn’t and finally, FINALLY pull the Chargers out of the doldrums.

Also, it would be fun as hell if we get another elite quarterback in the AFC West for the next decade next to Patrick Mahomes.

Brian Burns

Here’s a guy who nobody outside of the Carolinas really talks about, but totally should. Sure, Burns doesn’t have a double-digit sack season to his name ... yet, but I think it’s about to happen.

The reason I just want to see him play is baked entirely within that sentence: I just want to see Brian Burns play. Last season he registered 9.0 sacks, but these weren’t effort, fight his way into the pocket type sacks. Burns flies off the line with unnatural speed and even without a tremendous array of pass rushing moves, he’s able to overwhelm defenses with his first step.

Burns ranked Top 10 in the NFL in total QB pressures last season, and I think that will jump ahead again. This could be a breakout season, and it’s just fun to see how this guy plays football.

Trevor Lawrence

I’ve just gotta know. I have to know if all these years of watching, and waiting for the best college QB since Andrew Luck actually materializes in Jacksonville and FINALLY gets that team over the hump.

The Jaguars got so monumentally lucky to have this situation fall in their laps and get to take Lawrence, and this was a franchise in dire need of luck. Oh god, that’s three mentions of “luck” in two paragraphs, my editor is going to hate me (sorry Ricky). Shit, now it’s four. Better quit while I’m ahead.

I just want Jaguars fans to be happy in a way that doesn’t require copious amounts of pre-game liquor and vandalism. Is that so much to ask?

Kyle Pitts

In a similar vein to Lawrence I’m just fascinated by seeing what Kyle Pitts does this season. The rookie tight end is being asked to fill some tremendously large cleats with Julio Jones being traded away, but thankfully he is a large man who I presume has feet to match.

Before I get too carried away with feet references and y’all start rumors about me on the internet, let me just say that I think Pitts can be one of those iconic, league-defining players that makes us totally re-think the tight end position. I believe he’s that damn good.

Now, I know there’s also a learning curve here and that transitioning to tight end in the NFL is damn, damn difficult (I mean hell, no rookie TE has broken 1,000 yards since Mike Ditka), but there’s just something transcendent about how Pitts plays football. I need to watch him play and develop this season to satiate my own curiosity.

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 12 Extravapalooza

I thought it was fitting, if not downright poetic, that the Lions and Cowboys were dispassionately brutalized in front of the nation on Thanksgiving Day. This was a Thanksgiving that saw all of our traditions sadly, yet appropriately, put aside, so of course these Turkey Day stalwarts found themselves summarily flushed down the toilet along with extended family card games, giant tables covered in desserts, and hours-long gossip sessions with folks you don’t see as often as you’d like. Hopefully, next year we can all enjoy the Lions and Cowboys failing spectacularly while in the company of all of our friends and loved ones, while we point and laugh as God intended.

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.

EARLY GAMES

Los Angeles Chargers at Buffalo Bills (-4.5)

Oh yeah, this is the good stuff. These two teams rank very highly in my own personal Watchability Index, and I fully expect this to be a ton of fun. In my mind there isn’t a lot of separation between these teams, despite the fact that the Bills have a much better record and have beaten several good teams, whereas the Chargers’ three wins (only 2 with QB Justin Herbert at the helm) have come against bottom-feeders. I have no idea what I’m talking about, is what you should take away from this.

Las Vegas Raiders (-3) at Atlanta Falcons

Oh boy. We have the Raiders, a team who always burns me when I pick against them, and the Falcons, a team who always burns me when I pick them to cover. Something’s gotta give! Or maybe the power of these two opposing forces will rip the fabric of the universe asunder and mercifully send us all into the vast, peaceful void of eternal slumber. Or, I could just pick the Raiders and avoid that whole possibility. You’re welcome, or I’m sorry, depending on where your head’s at these days.

New York Giants (-6) at Cincinnati Bengals

The devastating, season-ending knee injury to Bengals QB Joe Burrow bums me right the hell out. Cincinnati will be starting Brandon Allen under center, and they will be officially unwatchable for the remainder of the year. The Giants have won 2 in a row and have been looking feisty, which annoys me because I really wanted horribly-chafed penis and Giants HC Joe Judge to flame out with lightning speed.

Miami Dolphins (-7) at New York Jets

Tua will be sitting this one out and I was gonna make a “Ryan Fitzpatrick Revenge Game”-joke, but then I realized that practically every game could be a revenge game for Fitzpatrick at this point. Jets QB Sam Darnold will be making his return to the lineup, and I still have absolutely no idea how good he is. His career has been absolutely tragicomic up to this point. I hope he leaves the Jets and spends a couple of seasons enrolled in Andy Reid QB School backing up Patrick Mahomes or something. Ooh, or maybe he can go to Indy and take over for Phillip Rivers.

Tennessee Titans at Indianapolis Colts (-3)

A battle for divisional supremacy between a pair of teams each coming off of thrilling overtime wins over good teams? Don’t mind if I do! These two squads just played each other two weeks ago, with Indy winning 34-17. Titans QB Ryan Tannehill was hot garbage in that game, and RB Derrick Henry “only” touched the ball 19 times. I don’t expect Tannehill to be THAT bad again, and I DO expect Henry to get the ball more often, especially since Indy will be without 2 starting D-lineman (DT DeForest Buckner and DE Denico Autry). Mostly, I’m picking the Titans because I think these two teams are very evenly matched and therefore splitting their season series fits into a nice, neat little logic box in my brain. This is not the kind of logic one should follow when gambling.

Carolina Panthers at Minnesota Vikings (-3)

Panthers QB Teddy Bridgewater makes his glorious return after a one-game absence for this one, and I think he and WRs DJ Moore, Robby Anderson, and Curtis Samuel are going to conspire to ruin the days of the entire terrible Minnesota secondary. The Vikes look like they’ll be without the services of NFL TD reception-leader Adam Thielen, so they’re going to be a bit compromised on offense. I smell a Bad Kurt Cousins game. Could just be a turkey drumstick that fell underneath my couch, though.

Arizona Cardinals (-2) at New England Patriots

New England does not have the defensive speed to contain QB Kyler Murray. I have visions of many demoralizing drive-extending 3rd down runs dancing in my head, and it’s upsetting. The only way the Pats have a chance is if QB Cam Newton and RB Damien Harris combine for like 40 effective carries and keep Calimari on the sideline as much as possible. 

Cleveland Browns (-7) at Jacksonville Jaguars

Holy shit, Mike Glennon is starting at QB for the Jags. Oh, and he’ll be without WRs D.J. Chark and Chris Conley. I feel bad for RB James Robinson, because he’s quietly been one of the best players in the league this season, and he doesn’t deserve the indignity of participating in this game. He’s gonna get a chance to eat in this one for sure, but no man can overcome the Glennon factor. The Browns have to take care of business here.

LATE GAMES

San Francisco 49ers at Los Angeles Rams (-6.5)

Since losing TE George Kittle and QB Jimmy Garoppolo (for the 2nd time), the Niners have dropped three-straight games, all by double-digits. That’s not good! They’re getting RB Raheem Mostert and WR Deebo Samuel back today (Yay!), but studly rookie WR Brandon Aiyuk is out and Santa Clara County just booted them the hell out of their stadium and practice facilities for the foreseeable future (Boo!). They’ve got a lot of shit going on right now, is what I’m saying. The Rams are comin’ in hot off of wins against Seattle and Tampa Bay, and I think they keep it rolling.

New Orleans Saints (-15.5) at Denver Broncos

Well, this game is set to be a total goat rodeo. Denver’s entire quarterback depth chart has been ruled out due to exposure to COVID-19, so they’re starting current practice-squad WR and former Wake Forest QB Kendall Hinton. I would love nothing more than for Hinton to shock the world and light it up, but the Saints defense has made both Tom Brady and Matt Ryan look like complete trash in the last 3 weeks, so I don’t like young Mr. Hinton’s odds, I’m afraid. The NFL is really boning Denver by not moving this game to Tuesday. The horse whisperer in charge of calming John Elway down is really gonna have their work cut out for them this week.

Kansas City Chiefs (-3.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

It’s terrifying to pick against Kansas City, but this is merely a bet that the good version of the Bucs shows up today. You won’t find this kind of in-depth analysis on any of those subscription sites! I will say that if I’m wrong and Tom Brady sucks once again resulting in another week of passive-aggressive Bruce Arians, I won’t be that upset. 

SNF: Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (-9.5)

MNF: Seattle Seahawks (-6) at Philadelphia Eagles

Apparently, Eagles HC Doug Pederson “wouldn’t be totally unhappy if he were fired,” and rookie QB Jalen Hurts was getting 1st team reps during practice this week, so things may be dangerously close to going completely off the rails in Philly. Fun!

TNF(?): Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers (-9.5)

The NFL is a fucking clown show for forcing these teams to play this week.

Last Week’s Record: 4-9

Season Record: 69-77-5

[auburnfamilynews]

Jeff Blake-USA TODAY Sports

So uh... Now what? After a last-second win against Arkansas last week, Auburn had hoped to settle in and pick up another win against an inferior opponent this week. Being 3-1 with a loss to Georgia is respectable when the rest of the college football world is on fire would have been just fine, right?

Not so fast my friend! After jumping out to an early lead, Auburn got into a midgame rut, and never recovered. Now we’re 2-2, and morale is at an all-time low in the Gus Malzahn era. Let’s see what the staff has to say about that:

- Josh Black

Thank goodness we don’t play Vanderbilt in 2020. that would be embarrassing.

- Josh Dub

I felt like going short on the recap, so I left this out. Developing a major college football program relies on doing three things, acquiring talent (i.e. recruiting), developing talent, and deploying talent (i.e. playcalling, play design, and your depth chart). The good coaches are really good at one of them. The great ones are good at two of them. For example, Nick Saban is elite at acquiring and developing talent, so he doesn’t have to be great at deploying talent.

When Gus Malzahn was hired, he put together a staff that was pretty good acquiring talent. He was not seen as a major developer of talent, but hopefully his position coaches could help in that area. He was seen as an elite deployer of talent though. He’d won a national championship with all of three draft picks. He nearly won another in his first season as Auburn’s head coach with a former Georgia cornerback playing quarterback. But the game has passed him by. Where are we now in those three phases?

- Talent Acquisition - This team has elite talent in certain areas, but other areas are not up to SEC standards. There have been major misses in either talent evaluation or recruiting that have led to a below average offensive line and an incredibly thin defensive line. Play along the line of scrimmage is the lifeblood of an SEC program, and Auburn is currently failing in that area.

- Talent Development - What little development of players has occured under Malzahn has stopped. Despite recruiting consistent blue chip talent at wide receiver, Auburn has just produced just one NFL-caliber receiver to this point (and to be honest, Darius Slayton’s NFL career has surprised most of us, considering his play in 2018 up until the bowl game). Bo Nix has not progressed since his first snap against Oregon. Sean White and Jeremy Johnson were both blue chip talents that went nowhere. Jarrett Stidham regressed in his second season. The defensive side has consistently developed quality talent for the NFL, but that’s not really Malzahn’s purview. I suppose he deserves some credit for getting out of the way of Kevin Steele, Travis Williams, and Wesley McGriff.

- Talent Deployment - The game has passed Gus Malzahn by. What was innovative in 2010 and 2013 is no longer novel. He supposedly gave up play-calling in 2016, only to still keep control of it as the season nosedived due to injuries. He gave it up again after hiring Chip Lindsey, but there were obviously still his fingerprints all over the 2018 offense. He took it back while hiring Kenny Dillingham in a move I supported, because [scroll up] he was elite at deploying talent when he was hired! This is your program! You got this job because of your skills as a play-caller and ability to manipulate defenses with motions and misdirection! Go down with the ship!

Instead, he hired Chad Morris, fresh off a complete failure at Arkansas, and handed him the keys to an offense filled with underclassmen behind an offensive line that was not capable of winning the SEC. What has resulted is an offense that is only consistent in being inconsistent, a defense that has lost two generational talents and wasn’t quite ready to just reload, and a fanbase that has completely lost faith in him.Auburn may win another game in 2020. They might even win 2 or 3 more. It doesn’t matter in the end, because we are on the downside of Gus Malzahn’s tenure. Recruiting will continue to fall off, and whether a change is made this year or next, a change will have to be made.Thank you Gus, but it’s time we parted ways.

- AU Jonesy

Bettiol returns to the Ronde van Vlaandren (tour of Flanders) as the reigning champion, but I really don’t think he stands much chance. As much as EF Pro Cycling would love to see him repeat, I think most people would call Mathieu Van Der Poel or Wout Van Aert the heavy favorites. The cobblestoned climbs, the beers, the frites, and the horrible weather—it’s one of, if not my favorite races of the calendar and I’m extremely excited to use it tomorrow morning to wash the stench of this American football game off my body.

- Son of Crow

Last week I said: Mom always told me if I didn’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all. So for the following: I’m sorry Mom.The end of the Gus Malzahn era is coming, it’s just a matter of when at this point. The when honestly might be happening sooner than we all had hoped for, especially from a financial perspective but can we really sit here and do this another 13 months? The defense has taken a step back which was to be expected but I will not sit here and go off on a defense that basically carried us the last 4 seasons while the offense was stuck in purgatory from a play-calling and strategy perspective.When your QB is quick to blame others when things go wrong when they can’t throw a screen, they constantly throw behind receivers and can’t hit the fastest guy in college on a deep ball, it’s time to look in the mirror and be accountable for your actions and stop living off being a legacy kid and that Oregon game which was 16 games ago!!! Yes, the receivers had drops today but the blame game should go both ways. The thing this year is who are you going to throw out there instead? The drop off between QB1 and QB2 is bigger than its ever been in the Malzahn era.And QB development has been non-existent in the Gus era from guys who have stepped on campus from the beginning.

And your best on offense is a true freshmen running back who needs more than 16 carries, and for the love of humanity, needs touches in the Red Zone!!! Tank Bigsby deserves better.Kicking Field Goals when you get in the Red Zone, especially inside the 10 very rarely end well for you and we kicked 3 today when we got inside the 20. This is a constant theme in Auburn losses the last several years.One of the most poignant lines in one of my favorite movies, Remember the Titans is this:“Attitude Reflects Leadership”I saw a lot of undisciplined plays, some jawing on the sidelines and deciding to wait until after the whistle to begin fighting.Ultimately, all of this falls back onto the coaching staff. The offensive line wasn’t bad today, but there was way too much Happy Feet going on. It’s time for some major changes and it probably needs to happen sooner rather than later.

- Will McLaughlin

- AU Chief

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/10/17/21521281/snap-judgments-15-auburn-22-south-carolina-30

[diyirononstickerus]

In Jon Gruden's NFL logo iron on transfer chaotic auction, Derek Carr isn't safe

The most recent settlement specific came across the actual mobile phones associated with Oakland Raiders participants being a cell public auction up-date. Another cornerstone hawked. Another write select received. Another gavel dropped within this Jon Gruden-inspired roster auction, in which simply no player remains safe and secure and subsequently item up with regard to bid is the once-presumed franchise qb. Derek Carr, board upwards. All others about the list, keep individuals mobile phones handy regarding improvements. To recap, this is where we have been in the right now completely indisputable roster-gutting which is occurring in the Raiders: Two 3 largest pillars in the earlier rebuild are gone. Defensive goliath Khalil Mack was dealt out to the Chicago Bears in a shift which players learned all about mainly on their telephones. And also Monday, once-promising No. one wideout Amari Cooper is gone ¡§C moving that once again was unceremoniously broken to the roster by way of social media as well as texting, carrying out a apply where gamers observed Cooper pulled off the sector without purpose provided by the instruction staff. In the rate Gruden is certainly going with this particular whole thing, Carr will likely be from eBay and possess no idea unless an individual tells him. So, yeah, permit this to serve as a memo for the staying Raiders season-ticket holders: Getting something done ahead of the group exits Oakland ?- that is done. Unless yourrrre still prepared to choose the spin the actual operation will probably be promoting the subsequent fifteen months. Something such as, "Hey! Draft selections!" If you're truly in to seeing the silver-lining and don't care about the actual Raiders basically robbing funds through ticket-buyers the subsequent 2 periods, there's always in which entire "Let's accomplish that write!" position. 5 first-round picks within the next a couple of years is one thing to look to. Especially if you're a Vegas realtor looking to un-load 5 multimillion-dollar attributes in 2020. There could be a lot more selections to come, as well. The particular business timeline is not until Oct. 30 and also the Raiders are open for enterprise. Possibly even for Carr, the ones won't be from another location secure any longer. There's tiny reason to hold any middling $25 million for each season quarterback in 2019 should there be simply no desire associated with winning some thing tangible. You will find less cause whenever Carr might be well worth something in trade to Chicago White Sox iron on logo patches a different group appear February (See: Gambling, Denver Broncos, Gambling) and also scrapes a lot of money off of the 2020 wage cap through the particular $7.5 million dead money struck this offseason. Regardless of the motivation, it's remove the Raiders Custom jersey letter number and Gruden are certainly not concerned with in fact giving Carr a lot more to work with. That isn't such a team has in your mind in the event it trades the No. 1 wideout. A person that ¡§C although undoubtedly discouraging of late ¡§C remains twenty four years old and has far more skill to do business with than some other skill placement piece around the list. Yet let us be genuine, you'll find nothing shocking about this. Cooper was not safe because Mack has been dealt. And now Carr will not be risk-free after seeing Cooper venture out the entranceway. This is the concept inside Oakland now, in which no one is absolutely risk-free beyond Gruden and also team owner Mark Davis. As a possible apart, I'm fairly good Gruden has no less than examined to see if they can trade Davis aside. Probably over and over again. What's terrifying now is which Gruden really has several impetus to consider it right down to the actual men simply because fans need to be finely conscious of Oakland is incorporated in the center of a complete rebuild, leaving behind Gruden together with tiny pressure to make anything of material in 2018. This really is stunning for a staff that travelled 12-4 in 2016 and also had been bellying as much as the actual table for a few steak championship seasons. 2 yrs later on? The particular cafe may be cleansed as well as Gruden is actually lighting the spot on fire just like it is a picture in "Goodfellas.Inches There is no much more faking after the Cooper trade. Forget about non-denial returns, like the one Gruden drawn a little on the 7 days in the past ¡§C whenever Cooper was apparently around the trade block. Keep in mind that one? On Oct. 14, after the Seattle Seahawks butchered the particular Raiders in London? Asked about a study Cooper has been about the industry obstruct, Gruden responded with this particular unforgettable fastball: "I do not know. No, I've not noticed which," he said. "You know, I'm not really, I'm not, you understand, I am simply, uh, sorry to have to deal with these reviews. However, uh, I just desire Amari's Okay [from any concussion experienced which gameday]. Such as My partner and i said, he will be a large a part of our pass offense." Eh, ok. Pass criminal offense, previous offense ?- it is sort of exactly the same thing, proper? At the minimum, in which quote brings a critical query concerning the most Gruden's tenure: Why might any person feel any kind of refusal from his mouth today? Khalil Mack wasn't getting dealt till he did. Amari T shirt designs Cooper would be part of the near future until this individual had not been. General manager Reggie McKenzie are a wide part of each one of these choices, except if he is isn't (no, vacant). All of it appears like lots of T shirt iron on patches is through a company which considers the fanbase is actually stupid, doesn't have capacity to bear in mind issues or does not learn how to search on the internet. Possibly which, or even the Raiders realize they Chicago White Sox logo iron on transfers are headed for Las Vegas in 2020 and they are generally merely finding a boost on that horizon. However, help you on the ground next Sunday, proper Oakland followers? Buy a waitress or plus a ale, as well as let's accomplish that set up! 

[maritalblitz-blog]

Week 1 Postgame Analysis & Owner Interviews

The Fighting Maria Chanders v. Father of Dragons:

I'm sure at some point Stephanie Haltiwanger has been on the receiving end of

Maria's belt, but this week it was Russell who tasted her leather as he laid

across MC's knee. After only one week, the "Father of Dragons" might consider

changing his name to "Christian Grey" because it's as if he was BEGGING to

feel the sting of punishment just one more time.

Make no mistake, this game started on shaky ground for the MC's after their

#1 and #2 picks (Mike Evans & Jay Ajayi) were sidelined by hurricane Irma.

But their shoes were easily filled by Ty Montgomery (GB, 18 pts) and DeAndre

Hopkins (Hou, 18 pts). Capped-off with surprising production from a 7th-round

replacement WR, Stefon Diggs (Min, 28 pts), and a HUGE game by The Jaguar

Defense (29 pts).

Father of Dragons simply failed to reap the reward of the owner's risky

line-up. For instance, it was a bold move to start Odell Beckham Jr.(0 pts)

when he was reportedly out for week one's match-up against Dallas. Also,

starting rookie Joe Mixon (4 pts) at the RB2 position when he is listed as

the #3 RB in Cinci below Jeremy Hill and Giovani Bernard.

After the game, The Fighting Maria Chandler's owner Beau Bailey was asked

about his teams performance without his first or second round draft picks.

Bailey commented, "Yeah, I'm really proud of this team. It shows their

'next-man-up' mentality going into this season, and now we'll start preparing

for the Whitley's."

Final Score The Fighting Maria Chandlers-126, Father of Dragons-78

===================

Jack in the Cox v. Little Red Fournette:

In Game #2, experts are saying that Little Red Fournette didn't have the

horse-power to catch up to the lead Jack in the Cox established in the very

first game of the NFL Season, and simply ran out of gas after Sunday's early

games.

Jack in the Cox jumped out to a HUGE lead when rookie RB and 4th-round draft

pick Kareem Hunt (KC) exposed the Patriot defense scoring 46 points. Turns

out, JC's owners literally slept on this sleeper telling our insiders they

didn't even find out about his performance until the next morning. Well sleep

no more on Kareem Hunt, this rookie from the University of Toledo has

officially rocketed up the ranks of RBs in the NFL.

But Hunt wasn't the only rookie RB to go off in week one of this match-up.

The namesake of Little Red Fournette, Leonard Fournette (Jax), pounced on the

board scoring 21 points against a very stout Houston defense. But the

rookie's first career TD was the only one scored by LRF's position players.

Our reporters spoke to the owners after the game. When asked about his team's

week 1, one of JC's owners tempered their expectations moving forward saying,

"It's only week one, but it's a good start." It seems as if they feel like

they have more to prove this year, and it's going to take more than one good

week to achieve their goals.

We asked one of the LRF's owners what they thought about the week and their

team going into week 2?

She simply responded, "Crapola."

Final Score: Jack in the Cox-131, Little Red Fournette-93 ===================

Team Swinderman v. Team Nichols

In the battle of First Overall Draft Pick vs. Second Overall Autodraft Pick,

the owner of Team Swinderman's frustrations have nearly reached a feverpitch.

The first pick in a draft is very valuable. A few years ago, then

commissioner Caroline Glazebrook parlayed that pick into a championship. So

to see Le'Veon Bell (Pit, RB), who has more apostrophes in his first name

than TDs this season, only score 7 points left at least one of the owners

from Team Swinderman rather frustrated. Add that to their second and third

round picks (Lamar Miller, RB, Hou & Tom Brady, QB, NE) and the top three

picks of this promising team only scored a combined 30 points.

We asked one of the owners if she had anything to say about her team's week 1

showing. She did. She said, "Yeah, they sucked. I want to redraft. This is

bulls__."

We overheard her later as she took a go the Marital Blitz commissioner

saying, "I've never had a team score that low. Even my bench sucks. This is

your fault!"

Our league insiders tell us they don't think any fines will be handed down

following the confrontation. As a matter of fact, they said the commish

simply smiled, winked at her, then slowly reeled up his middle finger as if

it were a Sunday morning fishing trip. Then coyly mouthed, "O-S-U blows" as

the crazed owner was carried away crying, "I play to win!"

If there is any silver-lining to Team Swinderman's year it comes at a cost to

Team Nichols: at least Team Swinderman's first round pick will survive to

play another week.

While this game is a big win for Team Nichols to start the season, it comes

at the cost of the second overall draft pick, David Johnson (RB, Ari).

Johnson was drafted with extremely high expectations of productivity, but

after suffering a wrist injury in the third quarter, he did not return. Team

Nichols was later informed Johnson dislocated his left wrist which will

require surgery and will be forced to miss the next 8-12 weeks of action.

After the game, the ownership of Team Nichols had an optimistic perspective

of their team simply saying, "Auto-draft. 1st round pick gets hurt. Still

drops 100."

Final Score: Team Swinderman-70, Team Nichols-100 ===================

Team Whitley v. Game of Jones

In the closest match-up of the week, Game of Jones was able to fend off a

late surge from Team Whitley in Monday Night's late game to secure a victory

in a very well fought match.

Our insiders reported one of the owners of Team Whitley was looking to make

some roster moves in the coming weeks after witnessing the poor performance

in their early games, specifically when asked if they were going to carry

three QBs into week 1, saying, "As of now...[the] struggle is real this

week."

But Team Whitley's optimism was palpable heading into the last game of the

week. Their ownership sent out a press release saying, "We like to start at

rock bottom Week 1, but we're still waiting on a Melvin Gordon Miracle

tonight."

It is that type of confidence in their players that led first round draft

pick, Melvin Gorden (RB, LAC), to such a strong week scoring 18 points.

Unfortunately, Demaryius Thomas (WR, Den) wasn't able to keep up his side of

the offense only scoring 11 points.

It was obvious that Game of Jones had a better line-up than Team Whitley, but

moving forward, depth could haunt the two owners of Game of Jones.

Looking to get DeVante Parker (WR, Mia) back from a hurricane-induced bye-

week, and waiting on Doug Martin (RB, TB) to fulfill his three-game

suspension, Game of Jones will be looking to bolster their bench with some

roster moves over the next few weeks.

For example, they had three players (McFadden, Dal RB, Rawls, Sea RB, and

Henry, Lac TE) on their bench who combined scored less points than their

kicker, Adam Vinatieri (2 pts).

As the week of games came to a close, our beat-writer in the field got a

chance to speak with Alicia Walters, one of the owners of Game of Jones,

about their week against Team Whitley and moving forward. She said, "We are

pleased with our Week 1 performance. We dropped a few balls that we wish 

we could get back, but it was like we were playing the Jets this weekend, so 

we didn't have to be our best. We need to continue to get better and trust the

process."

Final Score: Team Whitley-77, Game of Jones-101 ===================

***WEEK ONE GAME OF THE WEEK*** Sleeping w/the Commissioner v. That's What She Said aka "The Battle of the Bedroom"

By far the most intriguing match-up of Week 1 was a subway series between 

two owners who are married to one another. The past three seasons we have 

had to wait until Week 2 to get this game, but this year our appetites were 

spared and these two went head-2-head to kick off the 2017 season.

TWSS won their first ever meeting back in 2014 by the score of 106-94, but

was blown away in 2015 when SwtC avenged their embarassment 92-58. In 

2016, SwtC retained the title Bedroom Belt in a bloody shootout 142-127.

We have become so accustomed to this great rivalry game, but this year,

That's What She Said had too many weapons for Sleeping w/the 

Commissioner to ward off.

After witnessing the superiority of TWSS's first round draft pick, Antonio

Brown (WR, Pit)(29 pts), and QB Matt Ryan (Atl)(23 pts), and SwtC's inability

to respond, there wasn't much left ponder "what ifs..."

SwtC's TE, Jimmy Graham (Sea), opened the season looking to regain his

production since leaving New Orleans, but failed only scoring 3 points.

Marshawn Lynch was believed to be healthy and able to rebrand himself as the

premiere RB in Oakland, but failed only scoring 9 points. Even his own

favorite team's defense (Atl) could not help their owner overcome a loss only

scoring 5 points against a very poor Chicago team. Which left SwtC's Stephan

Glazebrook handing over the Battle of the Bedroom Belt late Monday night.

After the game, our reporters were in the press conference and got to hear

from the owner of SwtCs, Stephan Glazebrook. Disappointment surrounded the

young executive as he took responsibility for his teams lack of production.

However, he promised change was-a-comin', saying, "I would say that, as their

coach, I've failed. However, if they don't perform better this week, I'll be

handing out pink slips to their sorry asses."

As one defeated Glazebrook left the press room and one elated Glazebrook

entered, they exchanged fist bumps and the owner of TWSS patted S 

Glazebrook on the butt and told him to keep his head up.

Once TWSS owner Caroline Glazebrook took to the podium, her assistants told

the press she would only be taking one question so she could return to

celebrate with her team. A Fox Sports One reporter asked what she thought of 

her team's victory. 

She spoke confidently, "No surprise here." And she dropped the mic and 

kicked through the doors to a raucous locker room celebration.

Final Score Sleeping w/the Commissioner-105, That's What She Said-135

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 7 Extravapalooza

With the way the COVID-19 situation in America (and lots of other places around the world) is rapidly heading in the wrong direction, I’m beginning to genuinely wonder if the NFL is going to have to pause the season for a few weeks as some states potentially decide that the gatherings that come with staging a football game are less than necessary. 

Once the league decided to start the season as scheduled, I figured there was no way they’d stop the train once it began lurching forward, even if some unlucky teams were forced to start someone like Brian Hoyer at QB instead of their normal guy. Ahem. But, I also didn’t think things would deteriorate virus-spread wise quite to this degree. I was really giving us as a society way too much credit, it would appear. Given the resistance to the first round of shutdown measures, I think there’s a real possibility that shit could hit the fan in a way few of us have seen before if another batch were implemented, but it seems like the only option going forward for some places if they don’t get their shit together. Our choices in the very near future appear to be: court massive civil unrest spurred on by the very worst among us, or do nothing and let many of those same people carry disease to every corner of the country as hospitals become overwhelmed and people die alone and miserable. Hooray for letting the dumbest assholes dictate the courses of everyone else’s lives. 

Now for some football picks!!!

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.

EARLY GAMES

Detroit Lions at Atlanta Falcons (-2)

Ah, a team who recently fired their terrible head coach against a team who desperately needs to. I’m glad it finally appears to be dawning on Detroit’s offensive braintrust that D’Andre Swift is the best RB on the team and thus should get the bulk of the touches. You could even say he deserves the LION’S SHARE. Sorry. 

I was ready to declare Matt Ryan officially washed heading into last week’s games, but then he went out and threw for 371 and 4 TDs against the (admittedly trash-ass) Vikings defense, and now I just don’t know. Does having Julio Jones in the lineup really make that much of a difference for him? Maybe! This game should be enjoyable slop and I don’t have any strong leanings one way or another. I’ll pick the Falcons just because a Lions loss gets them one step closer to freedom from their dipshit Goomba-from-Mario-Bros-lookin’ motherfucker of a head coach.

Cleveland Browns (-3.5) at Cincinnati Bengals

I like to make fun of the Browns just like everyone else, but I’d prefer to see less digital ink spilled on QB Baker Mayfield’s crappy play and more celebration of DE Myles Garrett instead. Garrett is AWESOME. Through 6 games he has 7 sacks (2nd in the NFL) and 3 forced fumbles (also 2nd in the league), and those numbers don’t fully capture how disruptive and nightmarish he is for opposing offenses most weeks. Sure, he maybe tried to kill a guy with his helmet last year, but c’mon. That was just a harmless little goof. No reason to hold it against him, in my opinion. Like, have you seen what Mason Rudolph looks like? He had it coming.

I feel bad every time I pick against Joe Burrow because I want he and I to be friends, but *points to previous paragraph about how Myles Garrett swallows planets whole*.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Tennessee Titans (-1.5)

Last week I wrote a whole big thing (with stats to back it up!) in the Titans blurb about how Derrick Henry wasn’t playing well and was potentially wearing down, and then he proceeded to rush for over 200 yards and 2 TDs, including an unreal 94-yarder. I concede that I may have been misguided, and that attempting to use research is for lameass nerds. That said, I HIGHLY doubt he’ll have a huge day against the Steelers defense, but the combo of Henry and the Ryan Tannehill-led passing game should be able to put up enough points to win. 

These teams are both very good and very evenly matched, but I don’t want to pick Pittsburgh because I actively dislike them. You won’t find that kind of analysis on Football Outsiders, friends.

Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints (-7)

New Orleans will be without WRs Michael Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders for this one, and I think QB Drew Brees is too far over-the-hill to make chicken salad out of the chicken shit that remains in their group of pass catchers. RB Alvin Kamara is great, but he can’t do it by himself. Oh, and speaking of Michael Thomas, a report came out yesterday that the Saints are open to dealing him. This report came from Mike Florio, so grain of salt and all, but it did lead to me reading a rumor that Thomas’ teammates hate him and secretly call him “Can’t Stand Mike,” a play on his “Can’t Guard Mike” Twitter handle. I found this hilarious and very much want it to be true.

Let’s raise a glass to Panthers backup RB and fantasy football savior Mike Davis, as his gravy train likely comes to a halt after today with the impending return of Christian McCaffery. The New Orleans rush defense is very good, so I don’t see him going out in a blaze of glory, but his out-of-nowhere statistical bonanza deserves to be celebrated.

Buffalo Bills (-10) at New York Jets

LOL Jets Head Coach Adam Gase still hasn’t been fired despite losing 24-0 to Miami last week. What’s it gonna take, I wonder? A second consecutive shutout may do it, but the Bills defense has been terrible, so it’ll take a real commitment to ineptitude for the Jets to put up their second squadoosh in a row. NY QB Sam Darnold is returning to the lineup, but he’s going to be without his best weapon, WR Jamison Crowder. I honestly feel terrible for poor Sam, as he was drafted into the worst situation I can remember. At least David Carr was hit enough that he likely doesn’t remember ALL of the bad stuff. 

Nearly all of the Bills’ TEs are in the COVID-19 protocol, so I’m not sure how they’re gonna address that. BRING BACK JAY RIEMERSMA!

Dallas Cowboys at Washington Football Team (-1)

The Cowboys being underdogs against Washington is hilarious, even more so because it’s justified. I thought QB Andy Dalton would do a decent job leading the Cowboys offense last week against Arizona, and I was very, very wrong. I still think he can get his shit together somewhat, but the ceiling for this team has been lowered to “Darren Sproles might have to duck a bit” height. I can only condone watching this game for schadenfreude purposes, but even that’s stretching it. Any more than a quarter is just straight-up masochism.

Green Bay Packers (-3.5) at Houston Texans

I’m simultaneously excited to watch this game and struggling to come up with anything novel to say about it. I’m interested to see how Green Bay deploys their awesome CB Jaire Alexander, as whichever Texans WR avoids him is likely to be peppered with targets. Shoutout to Will Fuller’s hamstrings for holding up so far and allowing him to kick ass. 

As of right now it looks like Green Bay will be without studly RB Aaron Jones and sexy touchdown beast TE Robert Tonyan, which isn’t great. But, if there’s one opponent where you should still be ok using a backup RB, it’s the Houston Texans and their atrocious rush defense. Wait, why am I picking Houston? Whatever, fuck it, the heart wants what the heart wants.

LATE GAMES

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-5) at Las Vegas Raiders

A couple of days ago, it looked like the entire Las Vegas offensive line might miss this game due to being placed on the COVID-19/Reserve list. As of this writing, all those beefy boys are cleared to play, which is good news since they’re going against Tampa Bay’s top-shelf defense (ranked #1 in defensive DVOA). Even with their full compliment of offensive personnel, I still predict many hilarious angry and frustrated faces from Jon Gruden.

Tampa Bay has decided to sign WR Antonio Brown, despite already having two Pro Bowl-caliber receivers in Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. It’s pretty clear this signing was done entirely because QB Tom Brady wanted it, as Brady has been pushing for his team to sign Brown going back to last year in New England. It’s so weird, Tom Brady doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would advocate for an emotionally unstable and supremely narcissistic accused rapist who’s left multiple organizations in disarray upon his unceremonious departure.  

Kansas City Chiefs (-7.5) at Denver Broncos

Fuck yeah, our first potential snow game of the year! The gametime forecast as of right now calls for 5-degree windchill temps with a 35-40 percent chance of flakes throughout. That sounds horrible to play in, but glorious to watch. If we don’t get at least one shot of steam rising off of an offensive lineman’s head I’m gonna be pissed. I’m curious to see what Kansas City does with newly acquired RB Le’Veon Bell in this game. He’s definitely played in more winter-weather games than my boy Clyde Edwards-Helaire, so do they give him more carries this week than they would normally? I hope not, but I can definitely see the argument for it.

San Francisco 49ers at New England Patriots (-3)

I’m a little shaken (relatively, I’m not a complete lunatic) by how shitty New England, and Cam Newton in particular, looked against Denver last week. The lack of practice time due to multiple COVID-related outbreaks is a valid reason for it, but still. I think the Niners are the much better team when healthy, but they’re gonna be missing their best RB Raheem Mostert for this game (and the next few), which does impede their power-run game somewhat. Backup Jerick McKinnon is still very good, he just has a different, less-demoralizing style. Handsome Jimmy will have to make some plays, and I think he can do just enough. The overall talent gap will be too much for NE to overcome, I fear.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Los Angeles Chargers (-7.5)

The Jags have lost five straight games coming into this one, while the Chargers have dropped four in a row. Something’s gotta give! I will say that the Jacksonville losses seem more depressing (3 of them were by double-digits), while even though L.A. is losing, they at least feel exciting. A shiny rookie QB who looks decent will do that, I guess. Still, I’m riding with my man Minshew to cover one last time here. If he fails, well, I think it’ll be time for us to go our separate ways. “Separate Ways” by Journey is also what plays in Gardiner Minshew’s helmet speaker instead of play calls, coincidentally. 

SNF: Seattle Seahawks (-3.5) at Arizona Cardinals

Seattle’s already abysmal secondary is going to be down Pro Bowl safety Jamal Adams for this one, so Cards QB Kyler Murray should be able to sling it around with relative ease. His best weapon, WR Deandre Hopkins is Questionable with a lingering ankle injury, but he’s been playing through it so far and it hasn’t seemed to slow him much. I think this is the week the magic runs out for the Seahawks, and they take their first L of the season. Russell Wilson can’t bail them out EVERY time. Probably. This game is likely to be the stylistic opposite of the Monday nighter, because...

MNF: Chicago Bears at Los Angeles Rams (-6)

...all signs point to this being a butt-ugly game. I like good defense, don’t get me wrong, but nobody should purposely watch Nick Foles and Jared Goff play QB against competent defenses. I suppose I can see some entertainment value in getting to see both Aaron Donald and Khalil Mack torment quarterbacks in the same game, but I think I’m gonna pass for the same reason that I don’t really like to watch animals get eaten in nature shows. I get that it’s the way things are meant to happen, but damn. I’m a real wimp, by the way.

Last Week’s Record: 7-7

Season Record: 44-38-4

[junker-town]

So, who’s going to be the first team to beat the 49ers?

Photo by Michael Zagaris/San Francisco 49ers/Getty Images

Is a loss right around the corner, or will San Francisco remain undefeated for a few more weeks? The SB Nation NFL crew discusses.

The San Francisco 49ers are an unstoppable juggernaut who will surely go undefeated, and this intro was definitely not written by a 49ers fan.* But on the off-chance they don’t go 16-0, who will have the honor of handing them their first loss of the season?

Looking at their schedule, the back half is much tougher than the first. They still have two games against Russell Wilson and the Seahawks, including one on Monday Night Football in Week 10. There’s a stretch after that which includes consecutive games against the Packers, Ravens and Saints, plus their second meeting against the Rams.

In other words, there is plenty of room for losses. But where will they happen? Which team has the right stuff to handle not just Jimmy Garoppolo and Kyle Shanahan’s offense, but the stifling defense led by Richard Sherman and Nick Bosa? Let’s talk it through.

*it was definitely written by a 49ers fan

Christian D’Andrea: Seattle Seahawks

I’m sorry, Niners. I really do believe in your postseason seaworthiness. All the talent San Francisco has amassed across its defensive front is paying dividends — seriously, who do you focus on stopping when Dee Ford, Nick Bosa, Arik Armstead, and DeForest Buckner are all rotating in and out of the trenches? The team’s running game has been nigh unstoppable, even after a handful of injuries. The 49ers are a well-rounded contender who can win football games a hundred different ways.

But there’s still a lot to prove in Santa Clara. These are the quarterbacks San Francisco has beaten en route to 8-0:

Jameis Winston

Andy Dalton

Mason Rudolph

Baker Mayfield

Jared Goff

Case Keenum

Kyle Allen

Kyler Murray

The top two names on that list, Mayfield and Goff, are each going through massive regressions in 2019. The rest are roughly replacement-level performers (with apologies to Murray, who will be much more as he grows into his role in Arizona, and Dalton/Keenum, whose supporting casts are butt).

On Monday night, that unit will be tasked with stopping NFL MVP frontrunner Russell Wilson. Seattle’s not invincible — it needed overtime to handle 2-6 Tampa Bay — but the Seahawks have the chops to force Shanahan’s team out of its comfort zone and into a boat race.

Wilson has taken his always-efficient game to a new level this fall thanks to the most powerful supporting cast of skill players Seattle’s seen since its Super Bowl days. Chris Carson looks like a reliable Marshawn Lynch stand-in (as much as any player can be), while Tyler Lockett and DK Metcalf may be the most powerful 1-2 punch at wideout Wilson’s ever had (although I’d hear arguments for Doug Baldwin/Golden Tate).

As a result, the eighth-year pro is leading the NFL in touchdown rate (7.5 percent), interception rate (one in 293 passes), and passer rating (118.2). He’s still a nightmare to bring down behind the line of scrimmage, and if you leave him even a sliver of opportunity he’ll do stuff like this to you:

I have no doubt the Niners can find daylight against an unintimidating Seattle defense. I do doubt whether the San Francisco offense can keep up with Wilson and company.

Morgan Moriarty: Baltimore Ravens

It’s been a few days, and I still really can’t believe what I saw when I witnessed the Ravens completely annihilate the New England Patriots, 37-20. The Pats hadn’t lost a game since December 2018 before that game, too, mind you. While I agree with Christian that Seattle won’t exactly be a cakewalk for the 49ers, if they’re still unbeaten by the time they travel to Baltimore, the Ravens will be the ones to change that.

No disrespect to the QBs San Fran has faced so far this season, but I doubt any of them made any plays remotely close to this run Lamar Jackson had:

These are video game moves by @Lj_Era8. pic.twitter.com/d3SzMKv0k2

— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) November 4, 2019

Perhaps one of the most surprising statistics from Sunday was just how dominant the Ravens’ offense was on the ground. Baltimore finished with 213 total rushing yards on 38 attempts for a high 5.6 yards per carry; coming into that game, the Pats were allowing just 85 yards on the ground per game.

While the 49ers’ defense has looked good so far, it’s giving up 103 rush yards per game. To stop the Ravens, you need to stop the run. I don’t feel half as confident in San Francisco’s defense as I did New England’s, so Baltimore can easily find success on the ground.

Adam Stites: Green Bay Packers

This would’ve been a more popular choice if we were asking the question after Week 8. But then the Packers had a bad loss to the Chargers, and Green Bay looks much less intimidating.

The Packers are still 7-2, though. Aaron Rodgers is still, ya know, Aaron Rodgers. He has 17 touchdowns with two interceptions in 2019 and a 104.4 passer rating. You shouldn’t expect to see any more teams hold Green Bay under 200 yards of offense like the Chargers did.

San Francisco has thrived on forcing mistakes, but those are hard to come by with Rodgers. So far in 2019, he’s thrown four touchdowns and no interceptions when he’s been under pressure. He also has a 102.0 passer rating when he gets the ball out of his hands in less than 2.5 seconds.

The 49ers’ defense is terrifying — especially the defensive line — but Rodgers is the one who could give it problems. The bigger question is if the Green Bay defense can stop the San Francisco rushing attack. If it can just do that enough to force Jimmy Garoppolo into a mistake or two, the Packers could easily be the team that hands the 49ers a blemish on their record.

James Brady: New Orleans Saints

Drew Brees is 6-3 against the 49ers as a starter with the Saints. They own some quality wins against him, including one in the Divisional Round during the 2011 season, but he’s been shredding complete defenses his entire career. He has great pocket presence, a lightning-quick release, and isn’t easily rattled. He can make huge plays in the face of even the toughest pressure.

What the 49ers need to do is rattle him. Jimmy Garoppolo has been impressive this season, but it’s unlikely the 49ers can compete with Brees on the scoreboard, provided the Saints are able to handle San Francisco’s defense.

Prior to Baltimore’s win over New England, I considered the Ravens the biggest threat to the 49ers’ undefeated streak. While I still have some concerns about the Seahawks (read as: Russell Wilson), the New England game likely gave the 49ers a whole lot to work with when it comes to gameplanning for what the Ravens will try and do to stop San Francisco’s defense.

Even if the 49ers survive the Ravens, they have to travel to New Orleans the next week. The Saints are a complete team, winning on the back of a conservative offense under Teddy Bridgewater while Brees was injured, and one of the league’s top defenses. That defense ranks fifth in the league in weighted DVOA (a stat that measures a team’s efficiency) by Football Outsiders, and they allow the fourth-fewest rushing yards per game at 84.3 — which could hinder the 49ers’ second-ranked rushing offense.

With Brees back, my guess is the Saints will be picking up their offensive stride to join their defense right as they enter the playoffs. They have some easier games before the 49ers in which they can build momentum. You know, more momentum than a 7-1 start already provides.

[junker-town]

The 13 NFL teams at 2-2, grouped by their playoff chances

Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images

After the first month, there’s a logjam in the middle of the NFL standings. Here’s who Geoff Schwartz thinks is a contender and a pretender.

Fans of every league wish for parity in their favorite sport. Parity allows for hope of a glorious run to the championship and your childhood team raising the banner. The NFL sells hope better than anyone else, and it’s even more evident this season.

While New England and Kansas City seem like the clear favorites to win the Super Bowl, we know just getting into the dance is the first step, and there are 22 other teams still in the hunt! There are 24 teams — including the Patriots and Chiefs — that are .500 or better, and 13 of them are sitting at 2-2. I’m going to focus on those teams because their seasons could go in any direction after the first quarter of the season.

Let’s start with looking at their efficiency rankings heading into Week 5, as graded by Football Outsiders:

5. Baltimore Ravens 6. Philadelphia Eagles 7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 13. Carolina Panthers 14. Cleveland Browns 15. Minnesota Vikings 16. Tennessee Titans 17. Houston Texans 18. Jacksonville Jaguars 19. Los Angeles Chargers 22. New York Giants 25. Oakland Raiders 26. Indianapolis Colts

If y’all follow my writing, you know I don’t like to rank things, but I do love to put teams in tiers. So let’s tier up these teams and see who’s got a chance for actual playoff success.

Teams with new starting QBs (that probably won’t make the playoffs)

Backup quarterbacks are awesome. We all love them when they are winning. And they are doing some winning now — but sorry, I don’t think these teams are getting to the postseason.

New York Giants

The Daniel Jones era has begun, and he’s off to an excellent start. The Giants had a big comeback win against the Bucs and then beat a punchless Washington team that saw Jones regress back to the mean. Now the Giants get the Vikings and Patriots, plus have three games against the Eagles and Cowboys still on the schedule.

Jones will have his rookie bumps and bruises, and the defense will continue to be poor. That combination will cost them a chance at the playoffs. At least the Giants are exciting again. They have hope — a new franchise quarterback.

Indianapolis Colts

I understand that Jacoby Brissett is the starter now, but he entered the preseason as the backup before Andrew Luck retired. He’s played better than most expected, which isn’t a surprise to me. He’s been efficient in the offense and the Colts have rushed the ball well.

However, their defense has been less than ideal — 31st by Football Outsiders — and the injuries are piling up. I think they get to eight wins, but that’s not enough to take the division.

Carolina Panthers

Kyle Allen is a great story, but I think the fairy tale is ending soon. He got the win over Houston, but fumbled three times and didn’t complete passes with the same energy as his first start. Their offense is ranked in the bottom third.

One reason for optimism is the defense. It’s taken off under Ron Rivera, who’s calling plays on defense again. Rookie Brian Burns has been everything they’d hoped for as a pass rusher. That all being said, I think Allen struggles against Jacksonville, Tampa, and San Francisco in his next three games. Cam Newton will be back under center at some point, but can we trust him? I’m not sure.

Jacksonville Jaguars

This is the one team in this group I can see having a chance to make the playoffs, because the Jaguars’ division is so bad and their defense is so good. Their defense can carry them. Gardner Minshew, the rookie from Washington State, has been a breath of fresh air this season. His play so far seems like it can stick, so they are dialing up easy throws for him. If he can win a few more games before Nick Foles comes back, or if Minshew continues his torrid start, they have a playoff chance.

Are we sure they are any good?

It’s hard to know what to make about these teams right now.

Oakland Raiders

If the playoffs were to start today, the Raiders are in via tiebreaker! Yes, you read that correctly. But I think it’s smoke and mirrors. As you can see by their efficiency ratings, it’s not been pretty. They beat a bad Broncos team and upset the Colts last weekend. That was a shocker and now they head to London to face the Bears. The Bears’ defense is about to eat.

My question with the Raiders is this: Is there anything they do well? What can they hang their hat on? That’s my concern. Don’t count on them making the playoffs.

Houston Texans and Tennessee Titans

Someone has to win the AFC South, but these two teams aren’t trustworthy. The Titans have beaten the Browns and Falcons on the road, while losing to the Jaguars and Colts. I don’t know what to expect from them in any given week.

The Texans, including Deshaun Watson, have looked awesome at times, while other times looking like poop. I think their coaching staff is subpar and it’s holding them back. Their offensive line isn’t the best, but Watson doesn’t help by holding the ball forever. I don’t trust either of these teams, but one might make the playoffs anyway.

Minnesota Vikings

This is an indictment on Kirk Cousins, who’s not been worth that $84 million he received. He’s got multiple wide receivers upset with him as the offense hasn’t been able to throw the ball at all. He’s ranked 30th by Football Outsiders, and that will only improve if they change the offense to something that’s more aggressive. More play-action pass. More Cousins moving outside the pocket.

But, I don’t think Mike Zimmer will allow his offensive staff to be more aggressive. Nothing in the past has shown I can believe this change will be made.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I was shocked to see Tampa Bay this high on the efficiency list, with its defense leading the way at No. 6. They aren’t a talented bunch, but defensive coordinator Todd Bowles has elevated the play of the entire unit, starting with Shaquil Barrett, who leads the NFL with nine sacks through four weeks. Good start for them.

On the offensive side, I thought the pairing of Bruce Arians with Jameis Winston would be fruitful. And it seems like it’s moving in that direction. Winston has cut down on turnovers, with only two interceptions in the last three games. However, do we trust this is the new Winston? I certainly don’t. I need more games to determine if the Bucs are real or not.

Los Angeles Chargers

They are just beat up. I believe in Philip Rivers, and playmakers like Derwin James, Melvin Ingram, and Hunter Henry should eventually return this season. They are in this group because of those injuries solely. I think the Chargers will make the playoffs if they can get some of those players back.

These teams are likely in the dance

Whether it’s by winning their division or as a wild card, I expect these teams to make the playoffs.

Philadelphia Eagles

They’re so well coached and have an elite quarterback in Carson Wentz. They are 2-2, but ranked at sixth because they are a well-balanced team. The Eagles know how to win and I think their victory in Green Bay with some key parts back in the lineup will fire them up. The Eagles are in the playoffs.

Cleveland Browns

I know some think I “hate” the Browns, yet I believe they’re making the playoffs. Their offense finally came alive last weekend against the Ravens. That’s the offense everyone expected. Their defense is still legit and they are 1-0 against their main competition in the division. I trust their talent, but I’m still not sure about their coaching yet. Still, they most likely will win the AFC North.

Baltimore Ravens

It’s no surprise the Ravens’ defense has taken a nosedive after losing four starters to free agency. If their defense isn’t good, it shut downs their offense. Their offense is best when playing ahead, as we’ve seen in the limited time Lamar Jackson has been at quarterback. The Ravens’ signal caller is outstanding against terrible opponents, but is now 1-4 in his five games against strong competition. I didn’t like the Ravens coming into the season for these two reasons, and if they get left out of the playoffs, it’s because of that.

[junker-town]

These are the plays the Eagles need to run to win the Super Bowl

Retired NFL lineman Geoff Schwartz opens the playbook to show us how the Eagles could pull off the upset this weekend.

It’s here! On Sunday we will get to watch Super Bowl 52 in Minneapolis between the New England Patriots — who are looking for their sixth title for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady — and the Philadelphia Eagles, looking for their first title in their franchise’s third Super Bowl appearance. On paper, this Super Bowl sets up to be a fantastic matchup.

This won’t be your usual game preview, where we break down position by position. I actually think this matchup is pretty simple.

The Eagles are more talented than the Patriots. They have the better lines. But — and this is a big but — the the Patriots have Tom Brady and the Eagles have Nick Foles.

That’s where the Patriots will always have the edge. No matter the deficit, whether New England is down 28-3 (sorry Atlanta) or down 10 in the fourth quarter (sorry again, Atlanta) they are never out of the game. So I can’t pick against the Patriots. But if the Eagles get their usual from their team, plus average from Foles with no turnovers, the game will be close.

Remember, the Belichick-era Patriots have won Super Bowls by six points, four points, and three points three times, while losing two Super Bowls by three and four. The game will be close.

In this preview, I’m going to focus on adjustments we might see in this game.

We know the general thought process when facing Tom Brady, and I’m sure the Jim Schwartz-led Eagles defense will try doing it: Get pressure up the middle and force Brady into seeing ghosts (pressure from players he assumes are coming), like he does in the GIF below. If you notice, there isn’t much pressure to start the down, yet you can still see Brady looking around to see if there are guys coming to hit him.

So the Eagles will attack the Patriots’ protection, and they have to stay aggressive. They will use man coverage, because that tends to make routes be a tad longer, and also because Brady eats up zone coverage. I think that matchup is fairly straightforward.

A more intriguing matchup is the one between the Patriots defense and the Eagles offense. Eagles head coach Doug Pederson has done an outstanding job with formations, personnel and finding ways to make plays with Nick Foles, who stepped into the QB job when Carson Wentz went down with an injury earlier this season. That will have to continue this Sunday against Bill Belichick.

Complicating things for Pederson, however, is the fact that Bill Belichick has had two weeks to prepare, and they know the Patriots’ will have something up their sleeves to counter the Eagles’ high powered offense.

Despite an extremely slow start, since Week 5 the Patriots defense has been excellent. Since then, they lead all NFL defenses in PPG and sacks, and are tenth in passer rating, and they will attack some of the tendencies of the Eagles.

The Eagles offensive line has been outstanding this season, and they were again last Sunday. Two of their strengths are getting free up to the second level and executing blocks, which you can all find here in my Eagles Xs and Os run game video. Notice the center Kelce and right guard Brooks.

One of the Eagles favorite concepts is pin/pull because it “cuts” the defense, which gives the running back defined reads. It also takes away the work of a double team fighting through a down lineman to the linebacker, and puts the Eagles OL into favorable positions to block linebackers.

And here’s more of a traditional pin/pull concept vs the Giants.

How does New England stop all this? Well, they cover up the interior lineman with bodies.

When the center is covered, he’s not pulling. Covering the interior lineman with defensive tackles also eliminates some run schemes. The Eagles would be forced to run zone, or a pin/pull concept without the center pulling. In either of these schemes, getting Kelce up to the second level would be tougher. He’d have to fight through a zero nose, and then the backside blocks would be difficult.

It would make sense the Patriots would play a bear front (5 DL covering up the OL), because it would typically lead to man coverage, which is something the Patriots would do. The Patriots aren’t going to fear the Eagles WRs, and they will try shutting down the Eagles run game. Lastly, man coverage can disrupt the timing of their pass routes. I like it as an option for the Patriots.

Modest gains on run plays turn into monster gains when wide receivers block well. And the Eagles have rookie Mack Hollins, who’s an excellent run blocker. On Blount’s touchdown against the Vikings, notice how Mack, #10, blocks the down safety in the hole. If Hollins gives a half effort or whiffs, this play is a no gain. Instead, it’s a touchdown.

And here’s another example where Hollins is being used as a blocker.

Here’s the only thing: If I know this, then the Patriots know this. So I LOVE the idea of the Eagles using these concepts as set-ups for play action passing. They can use the first block to get the Patriots’ defense to bite, which could be an easy way to score points in the red zone. That’s not an easy thing to do, either: Since Week 5, the Patriots are third in the league in TDs allowed in the red zone.

The Eagles can also use that fly sweep action for this concept. They just have to make sure that Hollins runs his route near the numbers to stay away from the free safety.

Lastly, we have all seen how Nick Foles has succeeded with the run-pass option (RPO) concept, which is something I suggested they use because Foles had great success with that concept under Chip Kelly. That success has carried over to this season. In an RPO, the quarterback is either reading a defensive end, a linebacker or a box count. If there’s too many in the box, throw the ball behind the defender.

In this example, it’s a box count, which is mostly what the Eagles do. The Vikings safety Harrison Smith is down, so Foles throws the slant behind him.

If you’re a Patriots fan, you’re probably hoping this paragraph is me explaining how they’re going to stop is. But here’s the problem: I don’t know how New England will stop this scheme. The only way to try to stop it is to stop the run game first. If there’s no threat of the run game, there’s no threat of the “play action” off the run action. I’m excited to see how this goes down.

So, with all that being said… My final score prediction is NE 24-PHI 23, and a sixth Super Bowl for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. If the Eagles won, it wouldn’t surprise me at all, but I can’t pick against Tom Brady when he’s playing against Nick Foles. I hope the Eagles prove me wrong. I’ve enjoyed watching them play this season.

[auburnfamilynews]

See if some of us are superstitious enough to go with the reverse jinx...

Well, tomorrow is the Iron Bowl. It’s the big one, and this year things may be in doubt more than they’ve been in any year in quite some time. Alabama’s a slim favorite, but without their starting quarterback and a shaky, injured defense, Auburn’s offensive woes may not matter as much as they have in other games this season.

When it comes to this game, many of us get a little stitious and may not want to show our true feelings. Do we all think Auburn is going to win this game? Maybe. Will us saying that Auburn is going to win affect this game’s outcome? IT COULD, YOU DON’T KNOW. That said, here are our opinions.

AUBURN vs ALABAMA (-4) (O/U 49.5)

Marlon Davidson has gained a One Honor lead over Derrick Brown in the Race for the Most SEC Player of the Week Honors (TM). It sounds like they are very serious about this internal competition. In other words, I would not want to be the backup quarterback these gentleman are both trying to tackle on every snap.

Folks, Auburn can beat this team. This isn’t the offense that put 40 on LSU. This isn’t the defense Saban typically has. But Bo has to rise above his standard level Saturday. He has to be a super star. His arm needs to quickly (and accurately) get the ball to his receivers. Here I am, placing my trust in this team once again.

Auburn 24, alabama 22

-Josh Dub

I wish I believed but I have nothing that shows me the offense will score more than 16 points on a defense with half a pulse. Our defense will keep us in it but that will make it hurt that much more.

uat scores a late garbage TD because I hate football and its basketball season and soon to be baseball season.

uat 24-16

-Drew Mac

My oh my how the result of this game will change perceptions. A win puts us at 9-3 with a win over Alabama, which would for sure knock them out of the Playoffs. A loss puts us at 8-4 with losses to the four best teams on the schedule, and 4-4 in conference. Gus won’t be gone either way short of a 49-0 bloodletting, but still, how this game plays out will write the script for this offseason’s debates.

If Auburn is going to succeed in this game, it’s going to come down to if we can run the ball. Alabama’s rush defense is 41st in explosiveness rate and 48th in success rate, while Auburn’s ground game is 42nd in explosiveness rate and 34th in success rate. That’s also with a limited/out Boobee Whitlow for half the season, who looked back to form against Samford last week. I think if Auburn can establish the ground game early, Bo has shown he’s confident enough in JHS to get some things done in the passing game.

On the other side of the ball, I’m fully confident in our defense. Alabama’s game this year has been to pound the ball for 3-5 yards a pop consistently, then take the top off the defense with elite QB and WR play down the field. But without Tua, we’ll see how the passing game responds. Najee Harris and the ground game haven’t been great at busting big plays, even if he’s been one of the best in the country at getting consistent yardage. That actually mirrors Auburn’s rush defense, who specialize in stuffing you at the line but may let you bust a few big gains each game. My money’s on Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson, but there’s going to be a ton of NFL talent on both sides of the ball in this matchup.

Just like the UGA game, this one’s a toss up. I think Auburn pulls it off with a familiar 28-24 score.

-Ryan Sterritt

It’s cliche to say this, but it remains true…this game being played in Auburn matters more for who we are than the outcome. That’s not to say it isn’t wildly important to win this game, but for those that were there and understand the significance of what happened 30 years ago on December 2, 1989, you understand that who we are today is not possible without us dictating where we play this game.

In essence that is what Alabama is to us. It’s the measuring stick every 365 days of whether or not Auburn is living up to who we say we are and who we aspire to be. Are we the program that is unafraid of going up against the best in America, competing our hearts out, and coming away with our share? Or are we a program that cowers back into exactly what someone else wants to dictate we are. It’s all one big identity crisis that we play out each and every day here in this state, but you already knew that. So let’s get down to it…

These bastards can be beaten. The field doesn’t tilt in their direction the way it used to, primarily due to not being as talented as they are accustomed to being, but also because they’ve got maybe the weakest coaching staff they’ve had in over a decade. They’re a shell of their former self defensively; not really being sure of what their identity is. They’ve had their best offensive weapon taken out due to injury, and now must throw back there a kid who has never seen anything like what he’s about to walk into trying to throw to 4 NFL-caliber wideouts and handoff to another great running back.

I have a ton of respect for that football team in Tuscaloosa and for Nick Saban. What they’ve done is unprecedented and will never be seen again in our lifetimes. I love my good friend Bo Hicks and Druid City Brewing Company. I get along well with our Roll Bama Roll brethren here on this network of sites. The issue I have is not even the arrogance and complete identity being wrapped up in winning, but the idea that we aren’t allowed to be who we are in the same space without them feeling threatened by us, or them actively trying to cause us harm or damage.

Those fans outside of SEC Nation the weekend of the Alabama/LSU game cheering Harvey Updyke when he called into Finebaum’s show represent the worst of what is a large portion of the Alabama fanbase the simply wants us to never have any joy. Those people can go to hell. Those people don’t deserve the success they have. And those people are the reason why winning this game is always so sweet.

But those people aren’t why Saturday matters. Saturday matters because it’s a day for us to get back on the same page as a group of people. If we’re honest we’re all divided as to how we feel about the “state of Auburn” and the direction of our football program. Some reasons are totally valid. Some are so batshit insane that it makes me question how the folks throwing out their grievances are able to normal, everyday life. But we should all be able to agree that the negativity, the students leaving early against Ole Miss, the backlash to the students leaving early against Ole Miss, the wanting to spend an immoral amount of money for the unknown, the anger at a 19 year old quarterback who was in high school 6 months ago, and the general toxin we all are carrying is unhealthy. For us, and for Auburn. Saturday matters because it’s a chance to get right. Come before the altar and release all of your burdens and get behind this football team. Get behind these coaches. And get back to who we are, which is a fiercely loyal group of people who are completely, totally, and undeniably unified by the desire to beat Alabama’s ass.

Keys to victory:

Throw downfield to Schwartz (beyond 25 yards) 4+ times. Make the Alabama defense respect the pass.

Let DJ Williams touch the ball 15-20 times. This is not a game where Boobee is going to win it for you. We need the best running back on the team to carry the load.

Run pace. Let Bo Nix flourish in the system he’s most comfortable with. It’s also the system the head coach is most comfortable calling.

Play straight up defensively. No 3-1-7 look will beat their receivers. Line your men up and make Mac Jones beat you through the air.

Do NOT kick FGs outside 40 yards.

Knock Mac Jones’ ass into the dirt. Hit him. Make him associate the breath of Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson with pain.

To hell with Alabama. Let’s beat their ass. Auburn 23 Alabama 21

-Josh Black

Who says the Iron Bowl doesn’t matter? Both of these teams can be 0-11 and guess what folks, THE IRON BOWL MATTERS! EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

Here’s the reality folks: Auburn very well could be America’s team this Saturday. Why? Because I truly believe that if Alabama wins this game, they’re gonna back their way into the playoffs..... again.

We all know the powers that be are gonna do everything in their power to make sure that happens. So how do you stop them? You protect your house unlike 2 weeks ago and shut em all up.

Auburn won’t be feeling sorry for Alabama starting Mac Jones instead of Tua at QB but Mac has done well so far since taking over full-time after Tua’s injury. It’s the last time we’ll see Derrick Brown, Marlon Davidson and others play in Jordan-Hare Stadium. They can’t lose to both Georgia and Bama at home this year. It simply can’t happen. I’ve felt pretty good all week about this game and I truly hope my good feeling holds true on gameday and throughout the game. War Damn Eagle ya’ll!

Auburn 24 Alabama 17

-Will McLaughlin

I don’t have much in the way of preview for this game. It’s pretty simple. If Auburn can run the football and Nix converts on the available big play opportunities then the Tigers win and possibly comfortably. If they don’t, it will unfold as it did in Baton Rouge, Gainesville and two weeks ago in Jordan-Hare. Give us a Happy Thanksgiving Gus

Auburn 31 Alabama 23

-AU Nerd

I have alternating really good and really bad feelings about this. So it’s honestly a normal Iron Bowl. I hate this game so much. I hate losing to these assholes so damn much. There’s no way I can stomach picking them. As far as game analysis, Auburn has to have explosive plays on offense. Auburn’s best chance to win this game is to have at least 1 touchdown from more than 30 yards out. I feel comfortable with the defense getting enough stops to keep us in the game. It’s just a matter of making the plays on the other side.

Auburn 24, Alabama 19

-James Jones

I’m honestly not seeing what Vegas is seeing. Sure Auburn has blown it against some teams this year, but I’m not sure any of those teams are worse than Bama without Tua. Feels like the degenerates are just seeing that mullet A and going with it.

Anyway, I think the best defense in the country does their job, and Auburn manages to score just a little bit more than they need to. I expect us to see Gus throw everything at them, like we’ve seen before, and give this worse than their average Bama defense all sorts of trouble. We are at home. We will be loud. These defenders that came back to win something only have one left thing to win: this game. War Damn Eagle.

Auburn 30, Alabama 17

-AU Chief

A long time ago I worked as a student assistant in the auburn athletics department of media relations. My job was a lot of data entry and also wrangling players for interviews. It remains one of the most fun jobs I’ve ever had, to be honest. At least once a week Athletics Director Emeritus David Housel would poke his head in the office where all the student workers were, and ask one question, “What are y’all doing today to help beat Alabama?”We all play a part. If you’re in the stadium, be loud. Play your part.If you’re on the couch at home, be loud and be quasi positive on Twitter please, recruits read that. Play your part.If you’re on the field, hit them in the mouth and don’t stop until the clock hits triple 0. Play your part.Auburn is going to do enough to beat this Alabama team. And no one will be able to take anything away from it. Tigers 35, Tide 25.

-Son of Crow

I haven’t lived in the state of Alabama for nine football seasons. I left on the heels of a winged Heisman winner named Cam Newton, and my last memory of experiencing football in Alabama was of winning a national championship. Some of us on this site have stronger negative feelings toward Georgia, but to me, the Iron Bowl never had that brotherly quality.

The first football game I ever really remember watching and understanding was the 1995 Iron Bowl (YES, YES, YES AUBURN, YES!). It was only the third Iron Bowl played at Jordan-Hare Stadium, and when the two teams came onto the field, Auburn ran out of the tunnel while Alabama walked. My dad told me that the team that runs onto the field wins the game, and my small mind took that as gospel. It’s not true, but it was that day.

Since then, I’ve watched Auburn football run the gamut from complete joy and jubilation to total failure. The final game of the season has run that string of emotion as well. 2002 — the unexpected dominance; 2003 — a cathartic experience in the face of disappointment; 2004 — the capper on a perfect season, 11-0 eleven years after 11-0; 2005 — a complete joke and the least pressure I’ve ever had watching an Iron Bowl; 2006 — the feeling that we may never lose the game again; 2007 — not even their god-king can take down Jordan-Hare at night; 2010 — throwing it back in their faces; 2013 — setting Alabama on the wrong side of college football history forever; 2017 — just beating their asses. Those are just the wins.

It’s been equally wild on the other side. Blowouts in 2001, 2008, 2012, 2012... close and tough loss in 2009, the frustrating ones where you play hard and just get out-gunned in 2014, 2015, 2016... but you get the sense that these wins mean less and less to the Tide. Their students are increasingly from areas outside of the state. The focus comes more and more into the national picture, and anything less than a title is a down year. You have to wonder if the same mindset leaks into the team as well. A bunch of these guys have no scope when it comes to thinking about the Iron Bowl as the heated rivalry it’s always been. With their shot at a national championship hinging on this game, but still out of their control, will we see a team that doesn’t quite have the gas in the tank?

For Auburn, we saw what Jordan-Hare Stadium can become. Against Georgia, it was back to the November levels we experienced two years ago. Tomorrow, it’ll be the same if the game is close. Our defense will feed off of that and will have an impact when it comes to affecting Mac Jones and his ability to move the ball. Now, I don’t think the drop off from Tua to Jones is as big as everyone thinks. Tua wasn’t the key to that offense, it was the ability of the receivers to get open and make big plays out of slants and screens. Jones can still have success if he can just get the ball to the weapons on the outside. However, he’ll have to deal with the defensive front of Auburn while trying to make that happen.

Auburn hasn’t allowed more than 24 points all season long. LSU scored 23 at home against us. They scored 46 in Tuscaloosa. It’s not a stretch to say that our defense can clamp down and keep the Tide in a rhythmic rut. I’m not worried about that side of the ball. They’ll do their part.

Offensively, Auburn has to get the best game of the year from Bo Nix. We have to be able to find our receivers in good one-on-one matchups, and we have to try to hit this defense up the middle on the ground. They don’t have the beef in the middle, nor the experience. They’re still fast, and we likely won’t be able to beat them to the edges as much as we’d like. We need the ground game, and the slants, and the running ability of Bo Nix. I think we get just enough.

It won’t be a field goal return, or a fourth down conversion that wins this one. It’ll be the defense standing tall and holding Alabama when we need them most. Backed up into the students, we’ll get the clinching turnover and Bo Nix will have the distinct honor of kneeling down as the clock ticks to zeroes, scoreboard reading Auburn 27, Alabama 24.

-Jack Condon

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/11/29/20987520/staff-picks-15-auburn-vs-5-alabama

[auburnfamilynews]

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

The Tigers look to polish up at home before a huge road trip!

Auburn’s 4-0, with a chance for another big win ahead of a huge road trip. Take the next two, and all bets are off for how good this season could be. First, however, we need to beat the Bulldogs. Too bad it’s at home and Ryan Sterritt doesn’t get to take his favorite SEC road trip to Starkville.

#7 Auburn (-10.5) vs Mississippi State (O/U 47.5)

SP+ would tell you this will be about a 6-7 point game, but that’s taking into account the State offense before Tommy Stevens went down. While the State offense isn’t inept with new QB Garrett Shrader, they are much more dependent on being able to run down your throats, something nobody has really done on Auburn this season. Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson have been as good as advertised, and with Tyrone Truesdell breaking out in a big way, this defensive line is monstrous against the run. If Moorhead leans into trying to establish the run with Shrader and SEC leading rusher Kylin Hill, it will be a long day against the Auburn front seven. On the flip side, if the CLANGA offense gets cute and tries to beat Auburn by throwing the ball, they’ll have to focus on winning 50/50 balls to Osirus Mitchell (6’5”, 220 lb). Shrader isn’t ever going to be confused with Kellen Mond in hitting those tight windows on intermediate routes, so I expect the Auburn secondary to win that battle.

So what does the Auburn offense need to do to win this one? I can see both offenses trying to keep the ball on the ground, so there probably won’t be a ton of overall possessions in the game. That means Bo needs to keep playing turnover-free football. The State defensive line is ranked 88th in stuff rate and 89th in sack rate, so hopefully we’ll see another performance from the offensive line similar to last weeks - not perfect by any means, but good enough that I wasn’t complaining about it.

Boobee puts up another hundred yards and a score. Nix hits at least one deep ball. JHS celebrates the best basketball team Auburn has ever produced. It’s a party. 34-14 Tigers.

-Ryan Sterritt

Auburn enters what outsiders might call a “trap game”, wedged firmly between top-10 road matchups. The notion that this would be a “trap game” didn’t really occur to me this week, though a win did feel like a foregone conclusion. Then Gus Malzahn’s Tuesday press conference happened. If there was ever a presser to listen to, it was Tuesday as Gus laid out how hyper-focused our team is, and absolutely should be after getting embarrassed in Starkville last season. And after it was over I was ready to suit up myself to kick State’s ass.

For the 5th straight week, a win or loss will be dictated by Auburn. We’re the better overall team here, with State rebuilding their defensive line and having a bit of a quarterback issue due to injury/quality of play. State’s biggest area of advantage is in the matchup of running backs, as Kylin Hill is the best back in the SEC that no one seems to be talking much about. He’s capable of punishing this defense.

Keys to victory:

Make sure defensive alignments are correct early in this game and trust your linebackers. Alignment was one of the primary reasons we got embarrassed last year in Starkville. Another was having a middle linebacker who didn’t have the lateral movement of his backup. Well now that backup is the starter, and is showing we can actually improve in the middle with a quickness that’s going to be needed in this game.

Win the turnover battle - duh. Wait, no. NO. YOU KNOW WHAT? DON’T EVEN COME CLOSE TO FUMBLING THE BALL AND GIVING THE OFFICIALS THE CHANCE TO MAKE THE WRONG CALL IN A SITUATION LIKE AROUND, SAY, THE GOALLINE. NOT THAT I’M SCREAMING FROM EXPERIENCE OF ANYTHING!

Rush for 150 yards. It sure would be nice if a vast majority of those yards came from our running backs between the tackles so I could feel a little better about the ground game outside of a big Schwartz play. It’s going to have to get better if we’re going to get to November with a chance.

For the first third of the season, it’s been ok that Bo Nix has played like a freshman. For the second third of the season we need Bo to play like a sophomore. Getting timing down with receivers this week needs to show on Saturday. We need to show that this team is getting better through the air. No better time than in the comfort of your own home at night. Find the open man, Bo. And then hit that target.

Tempting as it may be to blitz early and rattle a quarterback, trust your line to hurry throws and get to the quarterback. Let those linebackers play in space and force them off their script quickly.

I’m confident in an Auburn victory. This team embarrassed us a year ago, and we remember it. It’s time for a group of Bulldogs to enter Jordan-Hare Stadium on a Saturday night and be reminded of why losing to them is considered an embarrassment. Auburn 38 Mississippi State 16

-Josh Black

It’s a big weekend for Auburn, the Final Four basketball team is being honored, and Auburn Basketball is hosting the 3rd Ranked Recruit in America. Sorry my excitement for basketball got me carried away, back to football.

Last week was huge for Auburn and while it’s easy to look ahead to Auburn’s first trip to the Swamp in 12 years next Saturday, it’s quite evident there is none of that from the Auburn players and coaching staff. I went to the game in Starkville last year. And the nicest thing I can say about that game was.... It was bad. Really really bad.

Auburn has a little bit of payback to dish out this week and with Mississippi State still figuring out their QB situation, I look for Auburn’s defense to rise to the occasion. Auburn’s offense looked better last week at A&M and look for Bo Nix to hit a deep ball or two as he starts getting more comfortable. It’s the last home game until November and I think Auburn will take care of business and move to 5-0 on the season. Auburn 34 Mississippi State 14.

-Will McLaughlin

Big time win last Saturday. Home crowd under the lights Saturday night. Cowbells coming to town. The talking heads on the tube might say something about a hangover game. They might say something about a quarterback who hasn’t quite put it all together yet. They might say something about a dangerous Mississippi State team. But those talking heads aren’t paying attention to the right things. Auburn got embarrassed in 2018 by a Mississippi State team that wasn’t nearly as good as Auburn made them look. I don’t think that sat well with Gus Malzahn.

The key to the game will be slowing down the State rushing attack. Kylin Hill is one of the SEC’s best running backs. If Auburn can force passing situations early, the defensive line will punish whichever quarterback ends up playing. Derrick Brown is having himself a season so far. I wouldn’t be surprised with another multi-sack, multi-TFL performance from the future first round draft pick.

On the flip side, Auburn must rely on more than just big plays to its star receivers. Whitlow, Shivers, and Co. need to have another successful outing. The more Auburn carries for 8 yards on first down, the more comfortable our freshman quarterback will get running the offense.

Final note: I’m not sure when exactly the basketball team is getting honored, but I’d wager Auburn gets a big play right after it happens. That place is going to be juiced up. Auburn 35, Mississippi State 13.

-Josh Dub

Some might think I’m too confident in thinking Auburn is gonna wax Mississippi State, but I have not even begun to barn. We have a really good football team. We can’t get preoccupied on “can this team beat Georgia and Alabama?” Because we can’t beat them until November anyway. We can only beat the team we play THIS WEEK and for the last for weeks, Auburn has done just that. Auburn has won and covered. Now, Auburn looks at the first potential revenge tour victim. The Tigers can’t play Tennessee this year in order to avenge the most embarrassing loss of 2018, but they do play State. Auburn is going to grind the offensive line of the bulldogs into dust by the middle of the second quarter. This one will not be close at halftime you guys. Tigers 45 Clangs 18.

-Son of Crow

I think Auburn might have a pretty special team this year. This group is far from perfect and MUST get better if they wanna have a shot at some magic in November but so far this season, they have risen to every challenge. Mississippi State last season is the only time I can remember Kevin Steele being out schemed as Auburn’s defensive coordinator. There have been tough losses before & games where the opposing offenses had more success than you like to see but often it’s either because the opponent literally has more talent or they make some absolutely insane plays on 3rd & long. Rushing for 300+ yards using some of the same concepts Gus Malzahn has demolished defenses in the past with a QB incapable of completing a downfield pass was something entirely different.

But that’s honestly why I feel good about this game as the week has gone on. Some talking heads might call this a “trap game” but I don’t think the players see it as so. The defense especially wants redemption.

State had the best defense in the nation last year but gone are the leaders of that group (Jeffery Simmons, Montez Sweat & Jonathan Abrahm) plus State must sit two of their best defensive players (Lee Autry & Willie Gay) for 4 games this season due to a tutor scandal. It’s no guarantee either play this week. The Bulldog defense also has a tackling problem especially in open space. They have gone from a defense that provides some of the most pressure on QBs to one of the least havoc creating defense in the SEC. They do, however, force turnovers & get off the field on 3rd down.

Offensively, I think chances are good Auburn sees both QBs. When Tommy Stevens was healthy he gave the Bulldogs a legitimate passing threat and as a result SP+ ranked this offense #1 after the first 2 weeks. But he’s dealt with a multitude of upper body injuries resulting in the debut of freshman Garrett Shrader. Shrader is more in the Nick Fitzgerald mold where he’s not necessarily an elite passer but is a big bodied runner. He rushed 125 yards on 11 carries last week against Kentucky. Moorehead seemed optimistic that Stevens might be back this week and I doubt he wants Shrader’s first road start to be a night game in Jordan-Hare. Either way, staff must prepare for both. But the leader of this offense is Kylin Hill who leads the SEC in rushing but is also #2 in yards per carry. He’s not just getting yards because he gets lots of touches. He’s picking up chunk plays on those touches. Auburn must continue to tackle well.

For Auburn, if there were ever a time for the offense to really click this is the week. State does not have the same type of interior talent as Oregon or A&M (maybe even Tulane) which should give this OL a chance to open up some running lanes inside. But this weekend is when Bo Nix needs to prove he can hit some deep shots. For Gus’s offense to truly be great it needs that very real threat of PA pass going over your head for 50+ yards at any time. If Nix can start consistently connecting on those, this team becomes a legitimate elite calibre team.

I think heading into half this game is closer than we would like, something in the 17-7 area but an explosive 3rd quarter that includes Nix hitting a deep shot blows this game open and Auburn gets their sweet revenge. Auburn 41 State 10.

-AU Nerd

Everyone seems to think that Alpha Wolf Gus is back and that after his presser, Gus is going full John Woo on State for last year’s embarrassment of a football game. Well, I knew it would be this way after the A&M game, during the Auburn Football Review. Sure, he is only on that show for around 4 and a half minutes but when Andy brought up the State game, the look of disgust on Gus’s face was evident. State has not been tested in 3 of its games and when they were tested, against K State, they folded like a cheap suit. Auburn on the other hand has been tested against 2.75 good ball clubs and 2 of those away from home. The Tigers are now playing at home. Gimme Auburn and will set up the biggest Auburn-Florida matchup since 2006 and the biggest game at Florida in the series since 1994.

Auburn and the OVER. Auburn 42-13.

-Drew Mac

Ever been both confident and worried? Well I’m worried about how confident I am. If you only look at the surface, you see a tough MSU team that has moved the ball well facing an Auburn team with a great defense but an inconsistent offense. That would lean towards a low scoring game where the cover is made late (either a “backdoor” score by MSU to make it look closer or a “frontdoor” score by Auburn to put the game away).

That said, there are so many reasons to be confident. Auburn has played tougher defensive lines and covered. Auburn has played more dynamic offenses and covered. State may be starting a true freshman QB at night in Jordan-Hare. In State’s last trip over, they committed about 12 false start penalties in route to a 49-10 mauling. While I don’t think it will be that bad, I think Auburn controls this game at the line of scrimmage, and begins to pull away in the 3rd quarter. Don’t be surprised if we have to settle for a few FG tries, but I still think there will be enough scoring opportunities to turn this into a cover.

Auburn 37, MSU 17 (Auburn covers, OVER)

-James Jones

The last time that Auburn started 4-0 and lost the fifth game was 1988. I don’t think the Tigers are losing this one, so that streak will go on a little longer. What do we know about this team? They run the ball, but not particularly well against good defenses, and they have trouble stopping the run. When Auburn is able to move the ball on the ground, Bo Nix has been more efficient. It’s pretty simple in my eyes, and I think after a solid (and not dramatic) win over the Aggies on the road, we’re not going to get a letdown at home tomorrow night.

This Auburn team is focused since we got the stuffing knocked out of us last year in Starkville, and now it’s time to return the favor. I don’t quite envision the fast start like Arkansas 2016, but it could be close. I think we hit the ground running, and everyone feels good heading to Gainesville next week. Auburn 41, Mississippi State 14.

-Jack Condon

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/9/27/20886442/staff-picks-7-auburn-vs-mississippi-state

[junker-town]

9 surprises from NFL Week 6 that we never saw coming

Not even Tony Romo could predict everything that happened this week.

Tony Romo has reinvented himself this year as our favorite NFL analyst on TV. When he’s not predicting plays, he’s making corny dad jokes or looking like he’s auditioning for the Dave Seville role in a new Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoon. It’s the perfect second career for him.

But even for all his clairvoyance, not even Romo could have seen everything that happened in Week 6 coming. It was a doozy of a Sunday, for reasons to celebrate, lament, and scratch our heads.

Deshaun Watson is currently the NFL’s leader in TD passes

OK, so Deshaun Watson being an absolute dream to watch in the NFL isn’t surprising to anyone who even half paid attention to college football for the last few years. And Watson already throwing for more touchdown passes than Brock Osweiler did all last season for the Texans isn’t surprising, either. But leading the NFL in touchdowns? Yeah, wasn’t expecting that one after the first six weeks of the season.

After a three-touchdown game against the Browns, Watson’s total is now more than Tom Brady. More than Drew Brees. More than Alex Smith. He tops the league with 15 passing touchdowns (and for good measure, he’s got two more on the ground).

This is probably the time we remind you that the Browns, who have scored 12 touchdown as a team this year, had the chance to draft Watson. Instead, they traded the pick to the Texans.

Aaron Rodgers is probably done for the season

Sometimes, the unpredictability nature of sports is our favorite thing about it. Other times, there are injuries, like a bucket of ice water poured over our souls.

Aaron Rodgers, fresh off ripping the still-beating hearts out of the chest of every Cowboys faithful, took a hard (but legal) hit in the first quarter of the Packers’ game against the Vikings. Anyone who saw the play instinctively knew the bad news that would soon be coming: broken collarbone, could be out for the season.

Rodgers is one of the NFL’s most important players. He’s every superlative you could say about a quarterback. His injury doesn’t just affect the Packers or the NFC North race. It has major implications for the rest of the NFL.

And in true 2017 fashion, it’s something we’ve seen way too much this year:

the 2017 NFL all-injury team has a STACKED OFFENSE: RB: David Johnson WR: Odell Beckham WR: Julian Edelman QB: Aaron Rodgers :(

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) October 15, 2017

That list doesn’t even include three-time Defensive Player of the Year J.J. Watt and his underrated teammate Whitney Mercilus, who were both lost for the season a week ago.

Injuries are unavoidable in a sport where large men collide, but man, it sucks royally every time it happens.

Sunday’s biggest underdogs came to play

Whether you gamble on sports or not, well that’s your business. But this week was a reminder why some stay far, far away from putting down any money on NFL games:

There were 3 double-digit underdogs in the NFL this weekend. All were on the road, all covered & 2 won outright (Giants & Dolphins).

— Rick Gosselin (@RickGosselin9) October 16, 2017

The 49ers were the only double-digit road underdogs to lose, but it wasn’t without a fight. Keeping up with their streak of losing by agonizingly close margins — they’ve lost their last five games by a total of 13 points — the 49ers lost 26-24 to Washington.

The weekend’s other big long shots both pulled off major upsets. The Giants looked like a totally different team in their first win of the season, effortlessly taking down the Broncos Sunday night. And the Dolphins came back from a 17-0 deficit to shock the Falcons (and revive the 28-3 jokes just in time for the Falcons’ Week 7 rematch against the Patriots).

The NFL’s final unbeaten team also lost this week at home. The Chiefs fell to 5-1 with a 19-13 loss to the Steelers at Arrowhead Stadium, but that’s hardly a shocker considering the Steelers’ recent history against the Chiefs.

Drew Brees only threw for 186 yards — and the Saints still scored 52 points

Drew Brees is one of the NFL’s most prolific passers ever. He’s closing in on 70,000 career passing yards and only trails Peyton Manning and Brett Favre on the all-time list. He hadn’t thrown for fewer than 200 yards in a game since a date with the Legion of Boom four years ago. Until Sunday against the Lions, that is.

If you saw Brees’ stat line — 186 yards, two touchdowns, two interceptions — it’d be fair to assume the Saints lost. Or maybe even won with a score of, like, 20-17. Instead, they won what was the NFL’s highest-scoring since Brees’ 52-49 duel with Eli Manning two years ago:

From @ESPNStatsInfo -- Saints, Lions combined for most points in any NFL game since Saints' 52-49 win over Giants in 2015.

— Mike Triplett (@MikeTriplett) October 16, 2017

So how did the Saints put up so many points in a ho-hum performance from Brees? Thank the defense (really!), which scored three touchdowns of its own in a game that was off the rails for all the right reasons.

The Chargers won on a field goal

Earlier this season, the Los Angeles Chargers picked up right where the San Diego Chargers left off: losing heartbreaking games seemingly every week. In the first two weeks of the season, missed field goals were to blame.

Rookie Younghoe Koo missed a game-tying field goal at the end of regulation against the Broncos in Week 1. The next week, his potentially game-winning try sailed wide right against the Dolphins.

Unsurprisingly but still disappointedly, Koo was waived and replaced with Nick Novak.

Fast forward 10 days and the Chargers got another shot to win a game on the leg of their kicker. This time, Novak nailed it for a 17-16 win over the Raiders:

Sorry, Koo. We still love you, but I’m afraid we jinxed you.

Adrian Peterson looked damn good for the Cardinals

If you thought Adrian Peterson was washed up, you weren’t alone. He averaged just 1.9 yards per carry last season when healthy, and he was barely a factor in his first four games with the Saints. Then Peterson was traded to Arizona. He took the field with the Cardinals for the first time on Sunday and he looked like the same guy who rushed for 1,485 yards and 11 touchdowns in 2015.

Peterson had 26 carries for 134 yards and two touchdowns in Arizona’s win over the Buccaneers. In four games with the Saints, he had 27 carries for 81 yards. Peterson had more rushing yards in the first half than the Cardinals had managed in any full game this season.

Peterson should keep getting most of Arizona’s carries, at least until David Johnson returns. And the 32-year-old is exactly what the league’s 32nd-ranked rushing attack needed.

Bad rushing attacks were actually good on Sunday

The Falcons have the 11th-ranked backfield in the league, with Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman averaging over 120 yards per game. Jay Ajayi out-rushed them both by himself in the Dolphins’ win over Atlanta.

Miami was ranked 27th in the league coming into Sunday’s matchup with just 87.4 yards per game. It didn’t matter, not against the Falcons. And it wasn’t just the Dolphins.

The Giants not only won a game for the first time this season, but also actually got a ground game going. Orleans Darkwa had 122 yards through the Giants’ first five games. He finished with a career-high 117 yards against the Broncos, which nearly matched his total to that point of the season.

And Adrian Peterson was a revelation for the Cardinals. He looked like vintage AD as opposed to the guy who barely got any carries over four games with the Saints. Need more proof? Watch him juke a Tampa Bay defender out of his shoes.

Oh, and the Cardinals, Dolphins, and Giants all won games they were expected to lose. It’s not a coincidence.

Ryan Fitzpatrick and Cameron Brate made Harvard-to-Harvard history

If Ryan Fitzpatrick is on the field in an NFL game, you know one thing for certain: The announcers will mention that his alma mater is Harvard University. Cameron Brate, Fitzpatrick’s teammate in Tampa Bay, also went to Harvard. And on Sunday, Fitzpatrick and Brate made some history when Fitz hit Brate for a touchdown against the Cardinals.

Fitzpatrick had to enter the game when Jameis Winston was pulled with a shoulder injury. He made a little Fitzmagic when he hit Brate in the end zone for six despite throwing directly into double coverage, which is a very Ryan Fitzpatrick thing to do.

Fitzpatrick also hit his fellow Harvard alumnus on a 21-yard pass to convert a fourth-and-4.

Winston has a sprained AC joint and may be able to play through it. If not, we’re sure to see some more Harvard-to-Harvard action between Fitzpatrick and Brate.

Mitchell Trubisky got his first NFL win in a weird-ass game

Joe Flacco was far from elite Sunday against the Bears. Flacco put up 180 passing yards, no touchdowns, and two interceptions and tried to throw a touchdown even when he knew he was a few miles past the line of scrimmage

Yet the Bears still managed to blow an 11-point lead. It took a 96-yard kick return touchdown from Bobby Rainey and a 77-yard punt return score from Michael Campanaro to keep the Ravens in the game. But that was enough to do it, and the game went to overtime.

Mitchell Trubisky, in his first win as a pro, completed just half of his 16 passes for 113 yards and a touchdown. But the combination of Trubisky doing just enough after regulation, Jordan Howard going off for 167 yards, and the Ravens’ offense generally being putrid led the Bears to a 27-24 win.

That’s not a phenomenal stat line. Trubisky still managed to become the first rookie quarterback to get a win in Baltimore since Jake Plummer in 1997, according to NFL Research. And he may have saved John Fox’s job in the process.