#i’ve been caught up in fnaf and doing math work i’ve been doing like no writing recently

[m1d-45]

Pari!Creator takes place in an imposter AU, right? What happens if Zhongli finds out Pari!Creator is the real thing? Pari can talk, and all I can imagine is something like this:

Zhongli: *insert some bullshit apology*

Pari!Creator: Leave me alone and stop harming people who look like your stupid God! Also go **** yourself!

Zhongli go cries in a corner somewhere because LBR, it's what he deserves.

(akdnenfnt of course pari can talk—)

if you want to see pari’s exact wording, then check here! tldr though: yes, it is post hunt, and yes, this is perfect actually

i imagine you’ve been consistently hiding from zhongli, solely because you could not live through a repeat of last time, not after all the progress you’ve made and how badly xiao grieved afterwards. no, you’re content to stay as is, as your life is now, for…

well, you don’t know how long, and in the end you suppose it doesn’t even matter.

doesn’t matter, because zhongli is already on his knees in xiao’s room, who’s curling his hands around you cautiously, aware of your preference for isolation. whatever plans you have don’t matter, they’re all thrown out, because suddenly titles are being thrown your way, confusion is seeping into the air around xiao, the shield of his hands slipping slightly as the pieces click into place.

you can tell he’s realizing, that the small little life you’ve built for yourself is breaking, and so for the first time since you’ve adopted this form, you speak.

it’s quiet, cracked with disuse, but you know your words carry when you say “i don’t forgive you.”

zhongli’s head lowers further, if possible, but you’re honestly not in the mood to talk. you can feel the hesitance in how xiao holds you, now, his hands stilling on your ‘wings,’ and sigh. this was what you wanted to avoid. this delicacy. you were fine before, but now that would be permanently changed.

you tug on his necklace with a chirp, a signal established between the both of you long ago that meant you wanted out, and he obliges on instinct. the familiar black smoke envelops you, the inn quickly replaced with one of liyue’s many stone spires.

he has questions. you know he does. but you can answer them later, when you’re ready to face them.

[pontsalin]

Au masterpost

With summaries and links for each! 

There may be aus that I’ve never talked about before, so if you’re interested in hearing more about them, shoot me an ask about it (you can also ask me if you want to hear more about an au I’ve posted about)!

Quirk au (crossover with BNHA)

@ask-vigilante-virgil

Summary: Virgil is a vigilante, fighting the crime at night with his best friend Remy. Everything is fine until Virgil gets caught in something much bigger than he thought.

Info about their quirks:

Virgil, Logan, Patton and Roman

Remy

Deceit and Emile

General info about them (desktop only)

Read from the start (desktop only)

Ships: Eventual LAMP, established remile, eventual RED, past sleepxiety

Tw: Morally grey Patton, unsympathetic Remus, sympathetic Deceit

Monster au

Summary: In a world where monsters exist, but are feared by humans, Logan and Patton create a school for fantastic creatures, to make a safe space where they can learn to control their powers and get a proper education.

Design of the main sides

General infos about them

More lore infos about them

Tag: monster au

Ships: Eventual LAMP, originally analogical and royality, but has been built to be more prinxiety + logicality

Tw: Morally grey Roman, Morally grey Deceit

Shugo Chara au (crossover)

Summary: Thomas wakes up with three eggs in this bed, each one representing an hidden desire. Then a fourth egg. Then a fifth egg? What?

Their design + the backstory

Tag: Shugo Chara au

Ships: None

Somewhat swapped au

Summary: Swap au + Highschool au where the sides are swapped but still keep a part of their canon character. 

Who’s swapped: 

Virgil/ Patton

Logan/ Roman

Remy/ Emile

Deceit/ Remus

Their designs

Tag: Somewhat swapped au

Ships: Slow burn LAMP, eventual remile, platonic demus

Tw: Sympathetic Deceit and Remus

Gem au (crossover with Steven Universe)

Summary: Roman, Logan, Patton and Thomas form the Crystal Gems, defending the Earth against the odd.

Their designs

Tag: gem au

Ships: Eventual LAMP

WlW au (genderbend au)

Summary: Human au where the sides are girls.

Their designs + their body types here

Tag: wlw au

Ships: Prinxiety, loreceit, remile

Tw: Sympathetic Deceit and Remus

Sun and Moon au 

Summary: Au where the sides are spirits of a specific thing, and Thomas is a kid curious about them.

Their designs

Tag: Sun and moon au

Ships: LAMPD, remile, eventual Remy/ Emile/ Remus

Tw: Sympathetic Deceit, morally grey Remus

Fnaf au (crossover)

Summary: Each sides are animatronics living in a circus and entertaining kids.

Their designs + a bit of their story

Tag: fnaf au

Ships: None

Tw: Morally grey everyone

The Greatest Showman au (crossover)

Summary: 

Roman:  P.T Barnum

Patton: Charity Barnum

Logan:  Phillip Carlyle

Virgil:  Anne Wheeler

Deceit: Jenny Lind

Ships: Royality, Analogical

Tw: unsympathetic Deceit

Ghostbusters au

Summary: Logan and Patton are two ghosbusters, catching the troubling ghosts.

Their designs + backstory/ plot

Ships: Eventual moxiety, eventual logince, past anxceit

Spider Virgil au

Summary: Deceit being a snake, and Remus an octopus, so Virgil being a spider (more precisely a chilean rose hair tarantula) would be fitting, right?

Art

Ships: Undecided

Gaming au

Summary: Logan is twitch streamer, Patton has a gaming channel and Virgil and Roman owns together a gmaing channel too. Damien is their editor.

Details of their channels

Ships: Slow burn DLAMP

Tw: Sympathetic Deceit

Witch au

Summary: Logan enters a school for witchcraft and gets to meet other witches, and learns that science and magic are one and the same.

Ships: Undecided

Angel/ Demon au

Summary: Virgil tries to summon a demon, but an angel tries to prevent him from doing it. He’s now roomate with the two of them.

Art

Ships: Prinxiety, eventual moxiety, undecided

Golden soul au

Summary:  Soulmate where your dreams are linked to your soulmate(s). You can't remember their face or name, but when you wake you got golden dust where your soulmate touched you. (Original post)

Roman and Logan are soulmates, except Roman lives in Europe while Logan lives in America. They barely get sleep at the same time, and for the longest time thought the two of them didn’t have soulmates, until Patton (Logan’s friend) shows Roman’s youtube channel to him.

Ships: Logince, moxiety, RED

Unconventional pets au

Summary: Virgil likes pets that aren’t universally loved. He likes spiders, frogs, snakes, mantis etc.

His dads (Logan and Patton) try their best to support him, but Patton’s fear of most of those pets isn’t ideal. Virgil gets to meet another snake lover, Dee.

Logan and Patton are also trying to fix their gay crisis, since they’re both crushing hard on that cute genderfluid baker down the street (Roman).

Ships: Anxceit, established Logicality, future morolo

Tw: Sympathetic Deceit and Remus

Secret Identity au

Summary: Heroes need to hide their faces to preserve their identity. Shenanigans insues.

Powers: 

Logan: Can create portals on flat surfaces

Patton: None. Masters white weapons.

Roman: Invisibility

Virgil: Can control the weather, and has a small orb that changes shape depending on his mood (sad= rainy etc.)

Deceit: Animal shapeshifter

Remus: None. Is the voice that co ordinates them in the mic.

Emile: Blood bending

Remy: Can go into other’s people dreams

Ships: Logicality, Remus x Deceit x Virgil, Roman x Remy x Emile

- Hero! Logan and Hero! Patton make out after the fights, but Logan can’t stand Patton irl.

- Deceit and Remus are dating, and Virgil is very jealous of Remus. Though he really likes the voice that talks to them during fights.

Tw: Sympathetic Deceit and Remus

Creepy au

Summary: Logan is a curious kid. Patton is always smiling. Roman has many friends. Virgil will never leave his brother’s side. Four outcasts dealing with supernatural stuff.

Logan is a young scientist with a lot of motivation.

Patton is a new demon.

Roman sees dead people.

Virgil has a plush possessed by a demon.

Ships: None

Cryptid au

Summary: Roman has a youtube channel where he does urbex with Virgil (bfu style), and make rant videos about how cryptid are beautiful and he’d love to date one. 

Plot twist. Virgil is mothman, and sticks with Roman to protect him since he has a very bad luck and attracts every bad spirits.

Logan has a youtube channel where he debunks myth (from the flat earth to supernatural stuff). He does not believe in anything supernatural, except that his best friend Patton is a fae that has claimed him.

Ships: Prinxiety, Logicality

Mermaid au

Summary: Roman is a human who has always been fascinated by the ocean. Little does the know that his mother was the same.

Roman: Human

Remus: Octomaid

Deceit: Human

Logan: Octomaid

Virgil: Shark mermaid

Patton: Seal mermaid

French Highschool au

Summary: Highschool au happening in France because I’m tired to see every highschool au being in the US.

Logan: S, overworks himself to the point of doing burnouts because he needs to be the best.

Virgil: S,  is ahead of pretty much all classes due to his anxiety. Often beats Logan during tests.

Roman: S, pressured by his parents to go in the scientific course, doesn’t work but still gets good grades. He hates himself each time his executive dysfunction makes him not working.

Patton: ES, tries his best, works a lot but still struggles to get more than average grades.

Deceit: L, average. He gets average grades and work an average ammount of time. He’s the stereotypical L that smokes and is bad at math.

Remus: Redoublant, gets the new school system, struggles to work.

Emile: Biology / science and life of the Earth teacher

Remy: Math teacher

Thomas: French Teacher

Ships: Analogical, roceit, intruality, remile

Patton’s design

Doodles (second and third pics)

Ships: Logince, moxiety, demus

Steampunk au

Summary: The high and middle class live on a floating island, unknowingly (or not) abusing on the people living on the ground.

Deceit: Originally from the lower city, he’s one of the few that knows how to travel down (or up).

Remus: Son of the King, does not know anything about what’s happening bellow. Deceit conviced him to go to the lower city.

Roman: Son of the King, knew what was happening in the lower city, and escaped many years ago. Presumed dead. Patton’s fiancé.

Patton: Comes from the lower city, managed to go on the island as a courtesan. Went back down with Roman when he escaped.

Virgil: From the lower city, one of the greatest engineer of the Kingdom. Made Patton’s prothesis, Deceit’s monocle and his own fake eyes.

Logan: Middle class, works as a cop chasing people escaping the island. Constantly running after Deceit.

Ship: Dukexiety, Royality, Loceit

Sudden Monsters au

Summary: The sides gets transformed one after the other as monsters. A great excuse to talk about feelings and overcome fears.

Virgil: Drider (half spider)

Deceit: Naga

Remus: Octomaid

Roman: Mermaid

Logan: Centaur (but half unicorn)

Patton: Werewolf (is always an humanoid canid, but gets violent during the full moon)

Ships: Moxiety, undecided

Eldritch au

Summary: Virgil meets the monster under his bed. He is actually really sweet.

More talk there

Ship: Dukexiety, eventual Logince

Lost kids au

Summary: Virgil and Remus run away from the orphanage they were in, and decides to sleep in an abandoned house. The creature (Deceit) living there decides to take care of them.

Rpg au

Summary: The sides meet on a mmorpg and creates a team.

Roman: Tank, werewolf 

Logan: Long range dps, elf

Patton: Summoner/ necromancian, human

Virgil: Healer, spider specie

Deceit: Rogue, snake specie

Remus: Short range dps, human

Ships: Established moxiety, slow burn lomus, roceit

Alien Runaway au

Summary: Logan is a scientist working in a space station. An alien arrives, badly injuried. The crew saves him, and keep him safe until he gets better. His name is Roman, and he’s willing to talk (with ASL) only to Logan.

Roman, Remus, Emile and Deceit are aliens.

Logan, Virgil, Patton and Remy are human scientists.

Marvel au

Virgil is Natasha 

Patton is Cap 

Logan is Bruce 

Roman is Thor

Deceit is Loki

Remy is Tony

Ships: Undecided

Overwatch au

May be a crack au. Idk I was just in a ovw mood when I made it.

Roman: D.Va

Logan: Symmetra

Patton: Mercy

Virgil: Reaper (following the theory that Reaper is infiltrated in Talon)

Deceit: Moira or Roadhog

Remus: Junkrat

Fusion au

Summary: Fusion au where the fusions are piece of chess

Doodles

Souleater au

I do not know yet, but it’s somewhere in my mind

Sherlock au

sherlock - virgil

watson - remus

moriarty - roman

irene - patton

mycroft - dee 

lestrade - logan

[brayinghorses]

Shit said in my AP Calculus class

T: “There it is.”

“Jump disc.”

“Your life is an asymptote.”

“What does that mean?” “Your mom.” “Thank you.”

“Is there a hole?!”

“Stop fisting each other!”

“The David Copperfield Theorem.“

“Oh my Goddd. I’m saying oh my god because I just realized that parallel lines have the same slope.”

“🎵Operator pleeease🎵”

“Nicholas where do I go from here?”

“Confetti.”

“This is like Math Debate 101”

“Consult yourself before asking me!”

“That’s a 2.” “Oh my God, I’m an idiot.” “We all knew that.”

“Lo d'hi less hi d'lo o lo squared🎵”

“Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak students smarter.”

“I’m gonna cry.”

“Wait, did I do something stupid?”

“I thought I was on a roll. Oh wait, I’m on a roll again.”

“It’s 7!”

“Es como una cebolla.”

“C E B O L L A”

“Ughh, this one is giving me diarrhea.” “Me too … which one?” “G(x) of that.” “Saaame.”

“Just like onions, composite functions make me cry.”

“Nooo, but the second one is different!”

“Waiii, Ms Raaayymoss!!!”

T: “This *rapid hand shaking* means anxiety

“I would’ve been right, but I did it wrong.”

T: “I hate everyone in this room.”

“That’s gonna be my senior quote: ‘This, parenthesis school parenthesis, kills the man.’”

T: “Close my door! … Thank you!”

“Did you know that you can stop it (the announcements)? You just throw a hammer at it.”

*scattered depressed yays*

T: “I’m gonna start teaching now, thanks.”

“Sin minus what in the hell ”

“Is it that y minus crap?”

T: “Cool, someone left their eraser, it’s mine now.”

“Ms, if I give you a quote, you’ll say it’s cheesy.” T: “Oh my god, are you still sensitive about that??” “Yes I’m still sensitive about that!”

“I did that once, she didn’t notice.” “Wait, do what?” “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you dying, more like, are you deading?”

T: *writing the answer on the board, which is -2cot(sinθ)csc^2(sinθ)cosθ* “That’s the alphabet.”

“That looks easy. Probably isn’t, but the illusion of easy is still there.”

“I don’t think it’s that hot. You’re all ugly. ... Are you gonna quote me?”

T: “Let’s try a more complicated problem.” “FNAF Sister Location.”

“WAII, IS THAT THE ANSWER? IS THE ANSWER THE QUESTION??” “We did it! THIS IS THE ULTIMATE ONION!”

“I dunno, I farted I guess”

T: “But you have no 3x here.” “...” “BOY, U THOT!” “Yeah, I thought.”

T: “If I could find your derivative, then I could be the one over you” (1/u)

“Well, what do you suck?” “Oh, the usual normal stuff. Nipples, obviously. Cortina’s penis. Oh wait, it doesn’t exist!”

“Wow, that looks, that looks, that looks like something I’d regret doing.”

“I’m Valery, of course I was gonna be born in October!”

“Nick got the opening gates of Heaven.” *aaHHH* T: “Yeah, that’s what it’s supposed to look like.”

“I don’t regret.”

“It’s not my fault, it’s *in unison* the problem’s fault.”

T: “du du du, oh who cares?” “I learn so much in math.”

T: *quiet cry of why*

“I would’ve gotten the points -- if I wasn’t such an idiot!”

“I’m so hurt.” “Matthew, this is HELL”

“How long does it take to render it?” “Uh.” “9 million years.” “Yeah, I’d estimate that”

*twins in unison* “Double the cream, double the fun. The new Oreos double stuffed”

“It’s Valery’s D”

“Look man, I don’t chose my socks”

“The way I wrote it, it says yey.” “YEY!”

“I got it, but I didn’t.” “What was it?” “The y. It’s not yey, it’s ey.”

*me and a friend singing Bet on It*

“Everything in math matters.”

“I don’t care anymore.” “Damn, Nigel doesn’t care anymore.”

“Man, I miss my gummy bears.” T: “At what rate did I eat those gummy bears?”

“You gotta draw the lake (leak).” T: ??? *draws squiggly* “No, the leak!” T: “Oh, leak? I thought you said lake!”

T: *draws a house* “Yo, that’s a face!” “That’s Squidward’s house!” “It’s a totem!”

That time I fooled a classmate

“I thought you said that my sexuality gives you the fractions.” “Obviously.”

“Stop reminding me that I forget basic math relations.” “What did you forget?” “4th grade math.”

“Can’t you just do that?” “No, you plebeian!”

“You have to multiply eveRYTHING”

“It concaves up.” T: “It concaves up.” “yOOOO” Class: “OHHHHHH” “We’re geniuses!”

T: “She (J) gets so excited when she understands something!” *class starts laughing* T: “No, I’m serious, it’s a good thing!” Student to J: “Is that why you’re never excited?” *class oohhhs*

“The only blue pen I have.” “It’s not even blue, it’s black!” “Well shit”

“You’re so squoosh!” “I’m just a skeleton with a layer of donuts”

*Psycho music plays* *class laughs* “The impending doom of the math that approaches!”

“What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A π-thon!”

T: “Who has the (unit) circle?” “I like lowkey know it.” T: “Really lowkey.”

“Great. Now back to my regularly scheduled gay shit.”

“Nick the dick.”

“Nick the brick licks slick dick sticks.” “Nick the thick brick.” “Nick the sick thick chick brick licks slick dick sticks.”

T: “I’ve actually taken out the batteries of my remote control to put in my calculator.”

“Fuck yeah!” T: “Are you frustrated?” “No, I said ‘fuck yeah’!”

“I didn’t know why everyone was screaming POI until it finally hit me.” “Man, her mind was on POT.”

“She’s Jesus!”

“Look at this net, that I just found!” “I was thinking the exact same thing!” “NO STOP”

*me pointing at i* “BALD BALD BALD BALD”

“Do we use a calculator for this?” “No calculators, we die like men.”

“Error. Good job.”

T: “No me de esa cara.”

T: “Let’s see, what did I call it here ... nothing.”

“What in equation? What in optimization?”

T: “I was doing this in a rush. Never do things in a rush, guys.”

“You could get caught!” “I don’t give a shit.” “You’d lose $60!” “Oh shit, maybe 2 shits.”

T: “I’ll multiply everything by 3r^2.” “Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute -- is that legal?” T: “Yes.”

“My numbers are 50!”

“Not gonna lie, I said the word “coefficient”and I was surprised.”

“The naked F.”

“That could be there.”

“Ln is foolishproof, right?”

“What in approximation?”

“Is it fair?” T: “What is?” “Is it fair to flip them?” T: “Yeah!” “Is it legal?”

T: “1 2 3 4 5 6 7 oh whatever.”

“Why are you so extra?” “I’m not extra, you’re just not enough.”

“Will Patty get 2 tickets? *flips the eraser* Matthew.”

T: “You can move out the 3 if it bothers you so much, look at him, probrecito.”

“I thought it was some weird trendy calculus thing.”

“Darth Vader?”

“The answer is divide. The album. Buy it now.”

“YOU’RE a capital F!”

“Nigel, we’re not doing the quiz -- we’re doing the TEST!”

T: “I don’t, I’m sorry.” “No, I’m sorry.” “We’re all sorry.”

*about Nicholas* “He’s already failing, he’s a leftie.”

“With all this work, I’m gonna pull a Kelli.” “What do you mean?” “Cry for no reason.”

T: “It’s integrated in your integration work, haha.”