#i'll come back around to this and do i proper edit of them... someday...

[flowerakatsuka]

[ messy ass sprite edit ] youkai au, but if it was cooler & sexier ( aka they let these losers have anything besides their fuck ass bowl cuts. )

[hugmeimtouchdeprived]

Ghost!Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x fem!reader - Prologue

A little prologue, I guess? I do want to make this into a proper fic, just a bit busy now so I'm not sure how often I'll be able to write.

English isn't my first language and this is my first fic, so please bare with me!

Inspired by @ghouljams's ghost!Ghost fics!

(Yes I did write something for this previously on a different account but ended up deleting it for reasons)

Content warning: MW3 (2023) major spoilers, major character death right at the beginning, not edited because it's 1am and I'm feeling lazy but really want to post this, please let me know if I need to add more, I'm still new to this!

Soap x reader, this one is from Johnny's POV but the next part will be reader's POV.

Original drabble | Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

It’s odd, really, how quick it all happened. From defusing a bomb to saving his captain to getting shot. He hadn’t even realized he was dead at first, although it should have been obvious in hindsight. No one could survive being shot in the head from point-blank range like that, not even an elite soldier.

Truly understanding what had happened took a while. Sure, he could see his own limp body on the ground as his teammates stood around him, when it was delicately put in a body bag and carried away, but it didn’t hit him until way later. It was more confusing than anything when he tried to tell them he was alright, that he was right there, and nobody would listen. Nobody would even look at him.

He watched as people came in and out of the tunnel for the next few days, doing their investigations and cleaning up the corpses and the blood, until everything went back to normal. Trains ran by as scheduled, workers hustling about.

Johnny was deep in denial for a long, long time. He can’t be dead, absolutely not. Look, he’s right here! Just- just look at him. Please look at him, say something to him. Why the fuck is everyone ignoring him?

No, actually, it’s just a bad dream. That’s what it is. He’s having a very vivid nightmare, one that feels like it just won’t end. But it will. Definitely. He’s going to wake up at base, or maybe back at his apartment in the city, and he’ll go to work and tell everyone about the weirdly realistic nightmare he just had, and they’ll all have a laugh about it.

But days turn into weeks, and he’s still there. It catches up slowly that this is no dream. He’s not going to simply wake up, not this time. He keeps going between absolute hopelessness and uncontainable rage. How could this happen? Sure he knew the risks of his job, that his life could end with little to no warning at any moment. Still, it’s almost impossible to actually comprehend once it has happened. What will his family think when they get the news? How will his poor mother handle it, if at all?

What about his team? They’re trained soldiers, best of the best. They’ve all lost friends, loved ones, teammates. They’ve seen it all before, surely this is no different. Just another Tuesday. No, they’re a family. At least in Johnny’s eyes. They must miss him, grief in their own ways.

And then there’s Makarov. Johnny can’t help but wonder where he is, what he’s doing. The 141 must still be on his tail, if they haven’t caught him already.

Johnny hopes they give him hell. For everything he’s done, and selfishly, Johnny hopes they make sure to avenge him while they’re at it.

Acceptance of this new reality comes agonizingly slow. Johnny tries to force it, tries to convince himself that it’s okay, it was bound to happen eventually. It just happened sooner than he had dared to hope. But that’s how it goes, people die, the world moves on.

He does eventually move around the underground tunnels. He could leave. At least he’s pretty sure he could if he tried, but he doesn’t want to. Maybe someday, but what good would it do now? Watching his loved ones grieve his passing, wondering how the hell they can go on. Johnny knows he was loved. He is loved. And he is full of love, even if he didn’t always show it in a traditional way. But the people around him definitely knew it, Johnny always made sure of it.

And now he’s alone.

He wanders the underground tunnels, watching the trains rush by. Makes sure to step aside when they do, still afraid of being hit. Refuses to even test it if he’d just pass right through them or other solid objects and surfaces (or maybe he does pass his hand or entire arm through some worker in a bright vest, just to see if he can. It’s not like the man will ever know anyway, despite the cold shiver that seems to go up his spine.)

Finding himself at a platform with people passing by at almost all hours of the day feels like a relief. Nobody will still acknowledge him, but the hustle and bustle fills his days with something, and that’s definitely better than nothing. It’s boring and mundane but feels less lonely. He watches as people rush to work, complain about the weather and how the train is late again, teenagers loitering around and kids playing at their parents’ feet as they wait. Occasionally he’ll see some dramatic show of goodbyes and breakups and arguments and heartbreaks of all kinds. He’ll see reunions, online friends meeting for the first time. Even watched some poor bloke propose to his girlfriend. She had awkwardly declined and quickly hopped on the next train, leaving her boyfriend on the platform. Johnny would have felt bad for the young man, if the couple hadn’t looked like they were on their first date.

He makes stories about people, especially ones who take this route often. Wondering where they’re coming from, where they’re going and why. What the lives of these seemingly regular civilians must be like. The single mom who gets on the train almost every day with two screaming toddlers in tow. The young man always smoking, ignoring the glares and the security telling him off. The old woman who comes by alone, often not even getting on a train and opting to sit near the stairs for a couple hours, a few days a week, just people watching. Just like Johnny, he supposes.

That’s how the first months go by. Johnny isn’t sure how long, there’s no point in keeping count of the days, weeks, months. He’s dead, what’s he going to do with that information? Well, he does keep some track of the days, reading headlines of newspapers and articles over people’s shoulders as they wait, just to keep some track of what’s going on in the world outside the tube network.

Yeah, it’s still boring as hell. Faces passing by, day by day.

Johnny is tempted to leave, or at least see if he can. There’s only so many things to see at a train station until it starts to numb his mind. He could probably see the world. Other than war zones and safehouses and such, that is. Do ghosts go on vacations? Can they go on vacations? Johnny doesn’t know much about what ghosts – at least he thinks he’s a ghost, or a spirit of some kind – like him are capable of. Too many movies and stories about the subject, all so similar but oh so different from one another. Guess there’s no better time than the present to find out, huh?

Those plans of leaving for good are quickly forgotten when something – someone – catches his eye one day. Not even sure why, he feels drawn to her, like a magnet. And after just a few days of seeing her almost daily as she gets on a train in the morning and returns later in the evening, it just doesn’t feel enough for poor lil’ Johnny. Whatever this is, he can't just let her be. Especially when, for a brief moment, he believes she looked at him. Actually looked straight at him.

Well, maybe he will try and leave this tunnel, after all.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! 🌷This was a fairly quick thing, just because I wanted to get this little fic started, and starting a new project is always the hardest part in my experience. Just wanted to get the ball rolling, ya know? Just getting those brainworms out.

Original drabble | Chapter 1

[forerussake]

hello eru!!!!!!!!!!!! 11, 17, 24 for the fic writer asks? ✨

hiiiiiiiiiiiii <333333

11. a WIP you'd like to finish someday

omg hidey there are SO MANY how can i pick just one????? okay okay i'll limit myself to fics i haven't actually worked on in the past year:

first and foremost: first gradually, and then all at once. I wrote all of it that's posted in about a week as a halloween challenge, and then i fell down the rabbit hole of different fandoms and i never got around to giving it a proper ending. I would like to do that someday.

as for not yet posted at all, there's also many, but I definitely still dream of one day writing my MDZS murder mystery fic. I've got a lot of it plotted out, but again, never got around to writing it.

also lastly (because i can never not talk about it): triptych, or my YYM Metaphorical Serpent Modern!AU, will forever have a special place in my heart. If i could get that story down onto paper one day I would become unstoppable.

17. talk about your writing and editing process

yay! so normally my process is quite straightforward. i get an idea, i make a document for it, i write down any notes about scenes and turns of phrase and dialogue that I've already thought of with initial idea, and then i just sit down over as many days as i need and write it from start to finish. i do a lot of editing as i go. back-reading to get in the mood and immediately fixing what needs fixing. i don't really do any jumping forward or skipping bits like [add xyz later] and move on, though I should maybe learn to do that. then once i have it done, i go over it all once more to take out remaining spelling mistakes and edit in any character bits or bits of additional foreshadowing that I think it needs. then, if i don't have one already, i come up with a title, either by taking an important phrase from the fic itself (i do a lot of thematical repitition so sometimes that works out) or going through my hoard of poetry to pick something that fits. and then i post. (and i try to keep track of any tags and possible bits for the summary as i go so i don't get bogged down in the posting phase.)

i didn't actually use to do much editing for a loooong time. really mostly just spelling and the additional phrase here and there. recently though i've been hitting a bit of a roadblock where i feel like my writing is too repetitive and my characterization not accurate enough, so i've been doing a LOT of editing (moving around entire sections of description, getting rid of whole pages that weren't flowing as I wanted them to), and i haven't managed to finish anything in a while because of it. i hope to get back in the groove of just. writing. soon :)))

24. how do you recharge when you're not feeling creative?

i think that goes a bit hand in hand with my last answer, in that i haven't really figured that out yet? being creative is like my main thing. my hobbies are almost all creating in some way, so when i don't feel it that can be very disheartening.

a thing i like to do though is just reading other people's work. sometimes reading all the beautiful words someone else comes up with gives me ideas for my own writing, or at least puts the longing for creation back in my heart. when the weather is nice, taking a walk is also good!

thanks for the ask hideyyyyy <333 this was fun!!!

[inkysandwich]

Random unedited thoughts

that I may go back and edit someday because, fuck, this got out of hand :

I like to imagine future Mo buying his moped. He's living in his first place, which he worked so hard to get. It's small, but it's his. He loves his own space, but resents that it's just far enough away from a train station that commuting is a bitch. So he shops around for the best commuter bikes in his price range, and almost settles on one, but then the moped catches his eye. It's way more than he can afford right now, but it looks zippy and clean and like it can hold a lot of groceries. Or even another person.

So Mo works every part time job manageable, picking up every late night shift because he can do that now--he lives alone and decides his own life. He gets in fights with drunks at the bar sometimes, but he never lets them take his money. He makes sure to work at as many restaurants as possible to save money on food but still ensure he gets to cook himself a proper meal.

He's so close to saving enough when He Tian comes back to town for a weekend, which he does rarely. Mo is conflicted because he hasn't seen HT for the better part of a year, but he's got 4 shifts in the next 3 days, and it's the last bit that will get him over his goal. So he refuses to see HT, who of course waits for a very tired Mo to get off work. After some convincing--but not too much because Mo is exhausted--HT gives Mo a ride home. On the drive, Mo declares he'll never need a ride again once he buys his own. HT wants to ask how much so he can just have Mo for the weekend, but he doesn't; he's learned. He just says next time Mo will have to take him home.

HT insists on staying the rest of the night (or morning it's probably already 4am) because it's the only time he's going to see Mo. Mo reluctantly agrees. Things get good, but not too good because both of them only have expired condoms (this isn't how I would actually want to take this in my mind or even for story sake, but I want this to come full circle now)

HT keeps his promise (mostly) of leaving Mo alone except to pester him on the ride home. About a week after HT leaves again, he gets a text from Mo. It's a picture of him sitting on a white moped, hair poking out of the bright yellow helmet. Of course he's scowling because he hates having his picture taken, but behind it, he looks so proud and excited.

HT - Did you get two helmets?

DCM - Get your own.

And then HT is gone for several months until Christmas. Cue 224 and 271:

This was supposed to be much shorter, but oh well. I started thinking about the holiday chapters and got carried away. Since I accidentally did most of the leg work on this one, I should probably just write it for real... I'll get to it. Probably.