#i'll probably never finish that damn AU but maybe i can turn that part into a working oneshot

[apfelhalm]

did not think i'd be excited for the new episode but now i'm legit writing on a dusty old piece from the mafia au

[junhui-png]

puppy love ⌦ .｡.:*♡

mingyu x reader x scoups? (Still figuring it out LOL)

pt. 2

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summary: first year of college, you literally knew no one and you planned for it to stay that way but damn were you wrong

notes: part 2!!! I hope y’all like this, I read back on pt 1 and realized I made some grammar errors and it was lowkey just ass in general…So I hope part 2 is a lot more enjoyable as I put a little more thought into it ! 💕

genre: seventeen college au, love triangle between scoups and Mingyu, Mingyu being on a football team, financial major scoups, angst??, fluff, cute friend ships, Hoshi, Joshua, Seungkwan, Minghao, and Wonwoo r your besties, Also besties with Yunjin (Le Sserafim) and Minnie (G-IDLE), other seventeen members are mentioned?? Childhood friends, cursing, drinking

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"its been awhile" the man chuckles. Choi Seungcheol. You're first every friend. You had met him on the first day of 2nd grade and had stayed friends till middle school until he moved away. You tried looking up his name on insta but nothing every came up, So you just gave up in finding him. "This is crazy" you let out an airy laugh "its been like what, 10 years?" Seungcheol asks, taking a seat next to you "Yea maybe" you felt awkward but so relieved at the same time, it really was nice seeing him after so long "sooo how do you to know each other again? Soonyoung ask "Childhood friends" Seungcheol responds, taking a bite from one of appetizers that were brought up "Wahh~ what a coincidence" Seungkwan says in awe and you both nod "Are you folks ready to order?" the waitress comes around "Yeah I think so?" Wonwoo tells the waiter.

Everyone's food had arrived and we were all eating peacfully, talking about school drama and whatever. But you were defiantly talking to Seungcheol the most, I mean how couldn't you? You had just met your childhood best friend after 10 years. Your phone lights up on your lap and you see a text message from Joshua "Don't you think Mingyu's been awfully quiet" read the text from Joshua. You shot your head up from your phone to look up at Mingyu, who was across from you. He was in fact a lot quieter than he normally is and he even looked a little pissed? You look over at Joshua and he simply gives you a shrug "He looks mad, right?" you whisper to Joshua "He does..." Joshua whispers back. "Can i get these plates out of your way?" the waiter asks and Soonyoung and Wonwoo help collect the plates to hand them over to the waiter "I'll be back with the bill" the waiter smiles before vanishing into the swarm of people.

"That was good, right nini?" Seungcheol pats his stomach a bit and you giggle. Nini was a random nickname Seungcheol had given you when you were both about 7. The whole backstory behind it was that, Seungcheol could never get your name right, but he did remember you by one of you favorite snacks, called "NINI" and eventually, even after he learned and memorized your name, he still preferred calling you nini “Nicknames? Really?” Mingyu scoffs, stuffing in hands into the pockets of this jeans “What’s up with him today?” Seungcheol asks but no one has the answer “maybe he didn’t like his food” Soonyoung suggests. You all stop once you’ve reached the parking lot of the restaurant “We’ll go first, see you guys tomorrow” Soonyoung and Seungkwan both bid there goodbyes, then shortly after Wonwoo and Joshua also left for there dorms, leaving you, Seungcheol, and Mingyu by yourselves. “Do you have a ride nini?” Seungcheol asks you and you shake your head “There’s probably no Ubers around at this time, it’s like a 10 minute walk anyways” you state “I can-“ before Seungcheol can finish his sentence he’s interrupted by Mingyu “I can walk her back to her dorm, you can go home it’s late anyways” Mingyu finishes Seungcheol’s sentence. “Alright if you say so, I’ll text you later y/n” The man scoffs before turning his attention to you “get home safely” he waves goodbye and both you and Mingyu begin to walk towards your dorm.

“I didn’t know you were so close to coups” Mingyu says, so quietly you can barley hear him “I mean I guess we’re good friends” you shrug “ just good friends?” Mingyu says, he’s tone filled with sarcasm. “Yes, just good friends” you say, returning the sarcastic tone. There’s awkward silence but the silence doesn’t last very long “ let’s play 20 questions” Mingyu says suddenly, breaking the silence “So suddenly?” You chuckle but he ignores you “I’ll go first. Favorite artist right now?” He asks “Wave to Earth” “ok ok, now you go” “uhm I don’t know.. favoritee~ video game?” “Call of duty” “cool cool” “Why does coups call you nini?”. You were taken aback just a bit by his question, you thought it was just some stupid Q&A game Mingyu wanted to play to pass the time “he also had trouble memorizing my name, so he started calling me “Nini” because I was always eating those Nini snacks at school” you still answer his question. Mingyu nods but doesn’t seem very satisfied by your question “how long have you been playing football?” “5 years” “dam ok” “What do you like about coups?. Once again, Mingyu brings up Seungcheol and you just didn’t understand why, I mean you didn’t really mind but it was just werid. “Uhm he’s nice??? And he really thoughtful and pays attention when I talk and is just really sweet” you answer Mingyu’s werid question anyways and yet he still looks unsatisfied “Favorite class your taking?” “Photography.” “I didn’t expect that from you” you mumble and Mingyu nods “ a lot of people say that”. “Do you not think I’m nice?” Mingyu suddenly stops in his track and turns to you “what??” You turn and stop to face him “I mean you said you liked coups because he’s nice right?? So am I not nice??” You couldn’t tell if this kid was pulling at your leg or was being dead serious “I mean I barley know you” you stutter out “I mean you said you hadn’t seen him in 10 years! How do you know he hasn’t changed?” Mingyu lowers his head slightly, watching his feet as he kicks a few tiny pebbles lying on the floor “Mingyu. You realized YOU are the one that invited him, I think you would know if he wasn’t a good person” you continue walking up the side walk and Mingyu follows you “so what do you think of me?” Mingyu asks “not your turn, it’s my turn to ask questions” you correct him “why are you asking so many questions about Seungcheol?” You ask “I’m just curious” he shrugs “about what?” You try and ask but Mingyu stops you “Not your turn” he smirks and you just scoff at him. At this point you were both in front of your dorm building complex “Do you think I’m hot?” Oh my god this kid and his fucking questions were gonna be the end of you “I mean.. yeah” you simply state, slowly going up the stairs with Mingyu trailing behind you “Your skincare routine?” “Don’t got one” he shrugs. You give him a dirty look because you know dam well there ain’t not way his skin that clear without at least a cleanser. You know we’re standing in front of your door “go out with me.” Your mind went completely blank “what.” “You heard me”. You did in fact hear him but the words definitely were not processing “you said it yourself, you said I’m nice and hot so why don’t we go on a date?” You were trying your best to avoid eye contact but that man was making it basically impossible, staring right at you without even blinking “well I mean I don’t know” you try and push him away, realizing he was basically pining you up against the wall because of how close you two were “text me then.” He said, backing up just the slightest so you would breathe “ok. I’m going now. Goodnight get back safely” you quickly enter your apartment before even letting the poor boy respond “what the actual fuck..” you mumbled to yourself. “DING” you phone screen lights up and you see a text message from the one and only Mingyu “postist art museum, 3:30 tomorrow” reads the text he sent you with a wink emoji “this kid” you sigh. Though you though he was ridiculous you caught yourself smiling at his text message.

The blaring sound of you alarm pierced through the morning silence of your dorm. You let at a groan as you shifted around in your bed before grabbing your phone "2:01" read the time on your phone "SHIT" you immediately rise from your bed and rush towards the bathroom where you brush your teeth and wash your face. Even though your "Date" with Mingyu was at 3:30, you normally took 2 hours to get ready. As you rummaged through your closet, trying to settle on an outfit to wear, Minnie strolls in "You got a date?" Minnie smirks "Actually, yes I do" you dont bother to look up at Minnie but you have already pictured her shocked face "Damn really? Who?" Minnie leans on the door frame, getting comfortable as you begin to speak "Remember that guy that dropped me off when I was drunk?" You stop looking through your closet and take a seat on your bed "The super hot one?" Minnie asks and you nod "Well, last night he asked me out on a date and I dont even know what I was thinking but I said yes" You sigh, getting back up to continue looking for an outfit "When'd ya'll meet" Minnie asks "Soonyoung's party, so like almost a week ago?" You shrug "You just met this guy and your about to spend a whole day with him?" Minnie questions. I mean she was right, you'd only known this man for less than a week "He wouldn't hurt a fly, I think" You pull out a pair of washed jeans and throw them on the bed "Great! just dont let him kidnap you" Minnie says, sarcastically "Thanks for being such a protective roommate" You give her a fake smile before turning back to look for a top "When are you leaving?" Minnie asks picking up her phone "I wanna get out at 3:00 so id better hurry" you pull out a white square neckline top with a cute lace bow on the neckline "you got like 45 minutes you better hurry" Minnie taps at your door frame, signaling shes going back to her room "have funn!" she calls out "thanks!" You reply, wasting no time to quickly change, put your shoes on and run out of the house.

You do your makeup on the way there and you reach the art museum at exactly 3:30. As you walk off the bus, you almost immediately spotted Mingyu. He was sitting down on the staircase leading up to the museum with a small pink bouquet in his hands. He was wearing a button down loosely with a pair of grey washed jeans and a black leather jacket. You couldn't deny that man was fine, and looked even finer today, especially in that outfit. "Mingyu!" Mingyu shots his head up and looks around before finally locking eyes on your figure. He starts to stand up as you approach him "You look beautiful" He smiles, handing you the pink bouquet "Thank you, you looks nice as well" you take the flowers, examining them carefully "Just nice?" Mingyu cocks his eyebrow up and you scoff at his sarcasms "What did you want me to say?" you and Mingyu start to walk up the stairs, leading to the art museum "I dont know maybe, breath-taking? Ravishing? Stunning? Out of this world?" Mingyu shrugs, you roll your eyes in response "Thats too much" You chuckle.

You and Mingyu begin to walk around the art museum, admiring the art hanged along the walls. "You know, a lot of girls at campus would be jealous of you right now, Going on a date with Mr. Campus crush" Mingyu teases, his lips forming into a cheeky smirk "Dont let you ego get the best of you, Kim Mingyu" You teased back. As the two of you strolled through the museum, admiring the beautiful pieces of art on the wall, Mingyu unexpectedly shifted from his usual playful banter to a more serious note. With a curious glint in his eyes, he turned around to face you and asks "So, what exactly are you looking for in a guy?" The question catches you off guard in the mist of you admiring one of the paintings on the wall, and after a brief pause you begin to state some "Someone who's genuine, I guess? Who's nice, good sense of humor, respects himself and others, and can cook" Mingyu, with a sly smirk, retorted "So basically me?" His comment sent you into laughter, though you weren't necessarily laughing because you thought what he had said was funny, but to try and hide you face that had probably turned as bright as a tomato and heart that was going at 200 BPM. "Well," you replied, finally calming your heart beat down by the slightest bit "Maybe minus the cockiness" You chuckle.

As you and Mingyu continue to walk around, making small comments about some to the paintings on display, you had noticed that Mingyu's banter had changed once again to quite a tense one, almost like he was dying to ask you somthing "You and Coups. You two seem basically inseparable" He asks, his casual tone barely concealing an undercurrent of tension. Suprised by the sudden focus of you childhood friend once again, you nodded "Yeah, Seungcheol. We're close. Why?" Mingyu's gaze lingered on a painting, his questions become more pointed. "What makes him you like him so much? I mean, did you guys share secrets and stuff when you were little or was it just the usual camaraderie?" Mingyu's eyes glancing towards you but stay glued on the painting in front of the two of you "We had a crazy strong bond when we were little, shared a lot of memories. Why are you suddenly curious about him anyways? You were like this yesterday." Mingyu was the one who invited him, he probably knew Seungcheol better than you and longer than you, so you were confused at the mans sudden interrogation. Mingyu's respone was a vague shrug, which left you in an even more confused state "Wanna get out of here?" Mingyu slightly signals towards the door and you nod "Sure, I'm hungry anyways" You both start to walk towards the exit, Mingyu looking through his phone looking for a place to grab dinner at.

You guys walk down the street to a nearby Italian restaurant that Mingyu said he's been wanting to try "I'll trust you judgment" You laugh, walking into the restaurant. You two are seated and begin to pick up you conversation. As Mingyu took a sip from the glass of water left on the table for the two of you, he turns to you with a sudden hopeful gleam in his eyes, almost like a puppy. "You know, you should come to my football games. Its a blast, and I think I'd really love to have you there cheering for me." You chuckle, "Im not really a sports person. The only thing I'd cheer for is not spilling my popcorn all over the bleachers." He grinned, undeterred, "Come on, Its not about the game. Its about the experience. You might enjoy it, I mean who wouldnt if I'm playing in it" You raised an eyebrow "First of all, not everyone goes to watch you" "And second are you trying to recruit me for the team or something?" Mingyu grinned "Well, maybe. But mostly, I just think you'd enjoy it, Plus, you'd get to witness my incredible skill firsthand." Before you could come up with a comeback, the waitress arrived to take our orders, in which we gave and the waitress simply nodded before taking the menus from in front of us.

"Like i was saying" Mingyu begins but realizes your not fully paying attention, but the person to your left. You Ex. There he was sitting right across from you on his friend "Do you know him" Mingyu speaks up, knocking you out of your trances "Yeah, sorry what were you saying?" You tried to get back on track "Who is that?" Mingyu asks "My Ex." "Oh. sorry." "Its fine, it sure is a small world" You chuckle, trying to lighten the mood "We can go somewhere else if you want" Mingyu suggests but you turn the offer down "its fine, we already ordered, and he hasn't even noticed me anyways" Well he didnt notice you 10 seconds ago but he defiantly has now. "Y/N" The family voice sends chills down you spine. Mingyu watches you, waiting for your response but you dont move. Your ex-boyfriend, Jaemin, seized the opportunity while there was silence to approach your table. "Hey" he greeted, a unreadable look in his eyes "Its been a while. I've missed you" Before you could come up with a response, Mingyu, sensing the discomfort, stepped in "We're having a private dinner here. I think its best you leave us be," he states, a subtle intensity in his tone.

Jaemin, now growing upset "I just wanted to talk, catch up. Is that too much to ask?" You look up at him in disgust. How can you try and "catch up" after what he had done to you. he cheated. gaslight you. and now he wants to "talk?". Mingyu catches the look you gave him and returns to Jaemin, his gaze hardening. "Look, she's moved on. Maybe you should to instead of being a dick. Respect her boundaries" Mingyu spits and you can see Jaemin getting progressively angrier. The tension escalated quickly, creating an uncomfortable silence. You apperciated Mingyu stepping in, but it might have made the conflict worst. "Jaemin. Just go." You try and say sternly but you end up sounding like a 6 year old "Why? I know you miss me" you scoff "Me? Miss you? Never. Nobody wants you here so leave." You say sternly, keeping eye contact with him "Whatever, you're gonna come back crawling in a month anyways" Jaemin rushes out of the restaurant leaving you and Mingyu together once again "Sorry.." you mumble "Dont be. He's the one who should apologize for causing such a scene" Mingyu tsks, leaning back in his seat.

The waiter brings you your food, which you both enjoy while talking about all sorts of thinks, and at the end of the day you ended up agreeing to going to Mingyu's next football game "I'll save you the best seats, where you'll get to see the best view of me" Mingyu smirks "Thanks, want me to bring anything?" you walk up the stair of your dorm "Like?" Mingyu asks and you shrug "flowers? somthing to celebrate your win?" You suggest and Mingyu lets out a little laugh "What?" You turn to face him now that you've reached your door "You're so sure I'm gonna win, huh?" Mingyu teases and your face gets a little hot "What? are you not gonna win for me" You tease back "Oh trust me I'll make sure I win" You'd never truly noticed how amazing Mingyu was. Spending the whole day with him really changed how you saw him, he was caring, protective, defiantly a flirt, but you knew that even before you got to know each other, and funny. "Thanks for today, really" Mingyu smiles warmly "Me too, How about we plan something again sooner?" he asks "I'd like that" You smile up at him. "Get some sleep, i'll see you tomorrow" Mingyu backs away from the door and begins going down the stairs "Goodnight" you call out "goodnight, my love". You're left standing there, feeling all warm and fluffy on the inside because of this new nickname. You quietly enter your dorm, removing your shoes and going to get read for bed. Once you had changed into you pajama's you flopped onto the bed and opened your phone to see your lockscreen full of notifications from one person "Na Jaemin." The warmth Mingyu had left you with suddenly disappeared as you read the texts he had left you "Baby, I'm sorry I got mad." "How are you feeling? Do you want me to drop off some food for you?" "Who was that guy you were with?" "Baby??" "Honey?" "answer me" The text trail went on and on "I still have your stuff, you should come by and get it" "I miss you baby please dont be stubborn with me" This man had the audacity to text you such things and try and call you. You take a deep breath, now frustrated by the whole situation "I'll just deal with this tomorrow" You mumble, pushing away your problems like you normally do. You take one more deep sigh before turning off your lights and going to sleep. You thought you ex was just acting up. Kind of just stuck in his feels or whatever, but you had no idea the lengths this man would do to get you back.

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previous / next

next chapter coming out 2/3/24 or 2/4/24 😸😸

[mari-lair]

Good point, but he also made friends with the ants before he knew Kite was dead. But geez, Gon desperately trying to get Killua to remember him mixed with Killua's now very skittish personality...although I do wonder when this would have happened? I guess the first thought that comes to mind would be when Killua almost bleeds to death, but there's several places in the arc you could potentially make it. No matter what though, this is so heartbreaking. Trying to get Kite AND Killua back and feeling so alone...part of me wants to explore it further and the other part wants it as far away from me as possible.

As for the Zoldycks, Alluka was locked up when she was pretty young and they were scared of her because they couldn't control her. They spent years with Killua, and although I don't like the Zoldycks, they would be absolutely heartbroken to realize that Killua was dead. Illumi is rather obsessive about Killua so I think that would seriously affect him (he'd still probably try to control Killua), but I don't see them casting him out. But Gon would fight like hell so they wouldn't take him away. He's not letting them hurt him again, not ever.

What hurts more is that while I imagine Killua does his best in the Ant Gon AU to accept him as a new person (Apo), I feel like Gon wouldn't be able to handle that. His name IS Killua, they used to be best friends, why can't he remember?! He tries to be patient, but he's just so hurt and overwhelmed by everything that's happened. No matter what though, he's not leaving Killua's side again. He won't fail him again, and he'll get his memories back at any cost. There has to be a way, and he won't stop until he's whole again. Or maybe if he changes like Killua did, they can be together again...(oh god, imagining them both as ants together...)

...damn, this hurts. Why would you do this to us? XD

Gon did befriend Meleon before learning Kite is dead but I still can't personally see him targeting ants as a whole cause he always treated them as individuals, being angry when they treated their friends as trash even before Kite's death and choosing to trust Meleon when he was already full of rage from seeing Kite's broken body. I think (?) Melon even mentioned that when he saw Gon, he saw a 'beast' in him.

He also never blames the king/queen or another ant when Kite did die, it's just Pitou, (which split to himself too since Pitou shows compassion and stop being an 'easy' target for gon's hate) from start to finish (sorry for the side track I know it was a minimal thing of your ask but I get too excited when I talk about CA Gon, I will yap about my boy!! yufgytfdyt)

I'll admit I didn't have a specific timeline in mind of when Killua was turned (again the lore is not in my hands) but your idea of him being transformed during the cave breaks my heart. It would have to be an au where the queen somehow didn't die (maybe the king wasn't born prematurily? idk), since only she can birth chimera ants from what I remember, but AUs are all about bending canon and the mental image of Gon never getting the phone call from Killua and slowly realizing people are acting as if he is already dead so he explodes and goes to search for him make me sad... (So i am sharing cause i must spread my pain)

man... I don't even want to think about Gon's mental state, it makes me too sad... I will lose my whimsy and get too focused on this au..

Yes, I agree about the zoldycks! I don't think they would lock up, disown, or ignore ant!killua, they are very tuned to family and indeed love him lots (twisted as said love is), I just don't think they would still want to make him the heir, cause even outside the whole 'non human' thing, Killua is irreparably anxious now. This is not a ploy to try to control him and make him leave Gon to die and become an assassin, is just who he is, and someone that get anxious in the face of power/the unknown is a weakness even to an assassin in big doses. But mentioning Illumi and the family heartbreak does make me realize something! The zolfyck would also want to bring his memory back, and considering the needle, if anyone would be able to get his memories back it would be Illumi. Gon love can make him remember flashes and vague memories (I adore how love make nen do incredible feats in this manga) but getting his whole life forcefully and violently back from start to finish? Illumi is the answer. And he will try to control him too, likely better since he now have both manipulation nen and Killua's memories to use against Ant!Killua.

I really like the idea Gon can't adapt to 'Killua' no longer being Killua. Cause for as sweet as he can be Gon is self-centered as hell so is very on brand, and to make things even worse than the Killua with Apo scenario, ant!Killua (who I don't have a name for so you can come up with one Edit: his name is Lua) is quick to give up, he doesn't want to get into a big argument and make Gon upset and Gon is already very sad (note: Ant!Killua just assumed saying gon is wrong about this would lead to an argument, so in practice they barely reach the talking stage, which just make gon fully confident Killua also wants to be Killua again, so he is more reckless about it and make killua hate it more but gon is doing it for him, and is an endless circle someone pls help them-)

[marjansmarwani]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤ (—maddie/reyesstrand 💗)

Thank you, Maddie, I always appreciate the opportunity to self-promote (which is something I think we should all do more often)!

It took me a while to pick mostly because I have 130 Lone Star fics alone, but I tried to go with the ones I really, truly love. Which was hard because I loving a fic a requirement for it being posted at all. But I managed to select 5, eventually.

would've loved you for a lifetime

Prompt: Characters are secretly married and one of them is hurt at work ----- The story of how TK and Carlos came together, and how they almost missed out on their future before it even got a chance to start.

This is a favorite because I really think that some of the descriptions are closer to poetry than any actual poetry that I've ever tried to write. It was also the first time I ever worked with a non-linear narrative, which is a technique I love. The story of TK and Carlos secretly getting married was fun to piece together and reveal in pieces. When it comes to the actual language used this is still probably my favorite thing I have ever written.

I am not what you planned

Dr. Carlos Reyes can’t stand the newest paramedic at the 126. He’s cocky, impulsive, abrasive, and — while admittedly very good at his job — a thorn in his side. Paramedic TK Strand feels the same: he can’t seem to go anywhere in this damn city without someone singing the praises of the young, talented local-boy-turned-doctor. But as time passes some of the bravado fades and their true natures are revealed. Slowly they each start to realize that maybe the other isn’t as bad as they once thought and that maybe — just maybe — there is much more to them than meets the eye.  ---- aka the Dr. Reyes/Paramedic Strand Enemies to Lovers AU

Each of my AUs has a special place in my heart (especially the teacher AU, which I almost picked instead) but writing this one was such an experience, and writing the enemies part of this fic was probably some of the most fun I've ever had while writing. I don't think I'll ever be over this fic, truly.

the truth is stranger than all my dreams

Marjan likes to think that she’s confident, that she can take on anything. But things are showing her that she may not know herself as well as she thinks and that the future can be a scary thing. ----- A Marjan centric 2x04 Coda

Outside of tarlos and Owen, my favorite character to write about is Marjan. Because she is my absolute favorite, after all. But this one always sticks out to me because after the whole thing with Salim what struck me most was the unexpected uncertain future she was suddenly faced with, which I would imagine would feel both liberating and absolutely terrifying. So I wanted to explore that and I am pleased with how it came out.

why can't I hold on?

There is nothing in the world Gwyn Morgan loves more than her children. Loving them has never been hard, but having to stand aside as life took its toll? That was something else entirely—especially when it came to her oldest.  Or, 5 times Gwyn feared for her oldest son, and the one time she knew he would be okay 

My Gwyn fic, aka one of only two fics that have ever made me cry while writing. I love Gwyn so much, and I started writing this fic as soon as she was mentioned in the show. I originally paused on it to wait until we had a better feel for her as a character and ultimately didn't finish it until they killed her, which added a whole other dimension to the writing of this. I vividly remember working on this fic while sitting at my neighborhood coffee shop as Amen came on my shuffle. I had to leave because I started crying. But, regardless of the emotional devastation, I really enjoyed filling in some blanks and accidentally creating an origin story for the coma cookies. And I love her even more after writing this (I'm still not over what they did to her, btw)

the stain you can't wash out

In Owen’s experience, guilt went hand in hand with grief. — An(other) Owen character study that wouldn’t leave me alone after 3x16

The Owen grief fic (or one of them, at least). One of the reasons I like this one is the title, which came from a poem I attempted to write and failed. But mostly it's because Owen Strand is a mess and I love digging around inside his mind. I can't quite explain why I am so fascinated by writing fics by him but I think it has something to do with the fact that I see him as an actually fascinating character that they just don't use to his full potential. There could be some great stories told with the things they have already given the character, but they consistently make the stupidest choices when it comes to him. So I love this fic because I enjoyed reexamining his character in the light of learning about his dead brother and extrapolating how that effected him and informed everything he did from that point forward and how he masks his grief with his job, and how his work is what keeps him from going insane as it feels like penance that he is still paying all these years later. I enjoyed looking at all the parts of his life (and sketching out my idea for his first meeting with Gwyn) even if writing about his experience on 9/11 was intense.

Honorable mentions (because I can't help myself):

Stars Will Guide You Home - aka the carjacking fic, as affectionately named by @terramous

you can't hide from time - because I love the 252 crew as I imagined them here and would love to revisit them at some point in the future

[catzula]

(Don't) Let me be the judge of that

a/n: enemies to lovers w Osamu. Nothing more to say.

genre: mostly fluff, enemies to lovers au, fem!reader

warnings: Osamu being an ass in the beginning, swearing, mentions of social anxiety, 5.6k

《Synopsis: Osamu Miya is too judgemental for his own good, never accepting he's simply wrong. You're here to change that.》

Osamu Miya had a habit of judging people. It would take him one look and a few seconds to decide whether he liked someone or not, the answer often being the latter. But the worst part was just how stubborn and maybe a bit self-centered Osamu was. He trusted himself a little too much, and it was impossible to change his opinion of someone after he had made up his mind, and if he didn't like someone, that was it, he would never grow to like them.

Or so everyone -including Osamu himself- thought until you entered his life.

~

You weren't surprised to feel the brown pair of eyes looking your way when your professor announced the project was in pairs. "Decide on your partners until the end of the hour and give me a list of the groups." He told the class and leaned back in his chair.

"Y/N!" You heard him before you saw him, a mop of bleached blond hair coming into your view right after. "Hi, Atsumu." You offered him a smile as you pocketed your phone, tilting your head when he frowned in response. "I already told you, Y/N, it's 'Tsumu to you!"

"Why?" You sighed annoyedly. Having had the conversation once before, you knew damn well he wouldn't stop until you did what he wanted, but you still chose to resist.

"Because," the boy whined, "it's a sign of our friendship. Only my friends and 'Samu call me that, and I want you to call me by my nickname, too." You chose not to talk about how he excluded his twin from his friends, knowing that would only lead to another argument. 

"Who even came up with this stupid name? It doesn't make any sense, it's only one syllable shorter, and it's even harder to say!" Atsumu's warm-brown eyes narrowed. "It's not stupid!" He protested, pouting until you gave up.

"Okay, okay, whatever. 'Tsumu-kun. There, happy?"

"Tsumu." The blond corrected with a grin.

"Kun." You added (to rile him up)

"Only Tsumu, goddammit! We're close enough."

"Are we, though? We only know each other for... what? A week?"

"A month!" Atsumu gasped as he corrected you. "And it doesn't matter how long we know each other, okay? It's a matter of how well we connect." His frown got deeper when you made a face, muttering something about him being cheesy, so he decided to switch strategies.

"But you always call me by my name when we're alone, Y/N-chan." Words spoken as flirtatiously as possible, Atsumu never missed the chance to tease you.

"A-atsumu, what the fuck, don't make it sound weird!" You exclaimed, already aware of the murmurs starting to spread around the room and the eyes turning on you both.

"There we go," Atsumu grinned when he heard his name falling from your lips, "wasn't that hard, was it?"

"You just had to be a little shit." You sighed, and his grin only spread wider. "I am a little shit, aren't I? Thank god I'm handsome. Anyway, I'm writing our names down." 

"It feels like we're getting married, seeing our names standing next to each other like this." He sighed, wiping the nonexistent tears from the corner of his eyes as he handed the paper to the person sitting behind you. You heard someone gasp at his words, and you never wanted to hit someone with a chair this much in your life.

"Shut the hell up!" You whisper-yelled, only feeling your anger growing when he sent you an innocent look. "What? I'm just saying-"

"I swear to god," You flared, "I'll tell everyone that one time you ran out of the library screaming when you saw a cockroach if you don't shut up." His grin disappeared as soon as you spoke the words, eyes widening and mouth shutting.

"You promised to never talk about it!" You had to admit that it did feel powerful to see him so panicked, face flushed, the sleazy look that was almost always in his eyes nonexistent and replaced with something similar to fear.

"It's up to you wether I talk about it or not." You shrugged.

~~~

"Woah, you look tired." You heard a familiar voice say as he plopped right next to you on the bench, holding a homemade bento in his hands, wrapped too neatly to be made by him.

"And whose fault is that?" You muttered, trying to conceal your murderous intent towards him. Even just thinking about your day gave you headaches. You groaned when he shrugged, focusing on unwrapping the bento box. "Yours, idiot!" 

"What did I d-" You winced when he spoke after taking a big spoon of rice and showing you everything that was in his mouth. 

"Your fans wont let me be! Ever since we started hanging out, it's almost like I'm being harassed."

"That's not necesarrily my fault." Atsumu shrugged, proceeding with another bite of his food. 

"It is, actually. I know you like to tease me, but if you keep saying shit like 'oh look our names together, feels like we're getting married' or that fucking 'you call me by my name when we're alone' you make it worse! You know how many people came up to me and asked if we were sleeping? One even asked me if we were engaged! We've known each other for two weeks, for god's sake!"

"A month." Atsumu corrected, shutting up when you sent him a look. "That's not even the worst part. Whenever I don't give an answer, or the answer they want to hear from me, people start to-" 

They started to get mean. Some even insulted you without batting an eye, speaking of how you weren't even pretty, that you had to be sleeping with Atsumu to be near him, and many fucking more.

"What?" He asked. "People started to what?" You knew he could sense how tense you were starting to get, but you always started to fight with him whenever he asked if people were bothering you, never answering his question, despite the answer being obvious. 

"Nothing, its just frustrating." You shrugged, taking a bite out of your meal to stop yourself from talking -or crying-. 

"Look, I can guess what's going on." Atsumu sighed, "and the only reason I can think of of you not telling me what's happening is that you don't want me to interfere, but you should tell them to piss off, already." He advised you the same stupid sentence he had been advising the past few days, ever since he noticed how his fans acted towards you. 

"Yeah, thanks for the advice, jackass. It would be easier if you stopped being so extra." You muttered into your cup full of coffee, feeling a tinge of guilt, putting the whole blame on him and not admitting you probably should tell people to mind their business already.

But you just weren't the type of person that was comfortable with talking to people you didn't know or know well enough, and you certainly weren't going to tell people to 'piss off' so comfortably.

You gulped when he sighed. "Okay, sorry, you're right, and I went overboard. But I gotta go to training now. It'll end around 5 p.m, so come to my place at 6?" He raised to his feet as he took one last sip of his drink when he finished his food.

"And if anyone asks you if we're married again, you have my permission to say yes." He grinned, patting your hair twice before you rolled your eyes, but couldn't stop a giggle from escaping your lips. "Oh, thank you, gracious lord." You cried out dramatically, scoffing when he pinched your cheek. "Exactly."

~~~

"I'm going into shower." Atsumu announced as Osamu shuffled through the fridge. 

"And?" The grey-haired twin asked from the fridge without pulling back, locating the eggs, and taking some out. "Do you want my help or something?

He expected an equally sarcastic comment from his brother, lifting his head as he closed the door of the fridge. "Cook for 3 today, a friend's coming over." He heard him say instead.

"A friend?" Osamu quirked his brow, ready to laugh given the punchline, but it never came.

"Yep." His twin answered instead, popping the p like some idiot middle schooler. "She's nice, you'll like her." He grinned, and Samu was already sure that wouldn't be the case. "Is this the girl ya can't stop talking about?"

Osamu couldn't say he wasn't interested since it was rare to see his brother drawn to anything but himself and volleyball, especially not to a girl. And judging by how Atsumu spoke about you, it was evident he had a particular liking to you.

The smug grin on Atsumu's face gave Osamu his answer, to which he grimaced. "don't wanna hear a fucking sound."

"She's coming over to study, you pervert! We have a project together."

"Yeah, whatever, I said what I said." Osamu shrugged, turning his back to Atsumu and started to chop the vegetables, unable to shake off the unlucky feeling pooling in his stomach.

~~~

"Oi, shit-head, does yer friend have any allergies or somethin'?" Osamu knocked on the bathroom door that had steam coming from the gap beneath it. He waited as Atsumu closed the water. "Eh, I'm not sure." 

"Yer not sure? How long do you even know her?"

"A month." Atsumu answered, turning the water back on. A month? It wasn't like Atsumu didn't get close to a girl he knew for such a short time, but Osamu had never, ever seen Atsumu bring a girl home.

"Hurry up, already, what the hell are you even doing in there?!" Osamu shouted, knocking on the bathroom door and holding back an urge to kick down the door when he heard the happy humms of his brothers.

"Oi, idiot, I'm telling you- goddammit." He clenched his teeth when he heard the doorbell. 

"Hurry up or you're not eating." Osamu knocked one last time before he rushed to the door to let you in. 

He opened the door without thinking of opening the lights as well, and since it was well after the sun had set, he couldn't see what you looked like, but he knew he wasn't expecting- well, you.

You were bent forward, trying to undo the messy knot your shoelaces had formed when the door opened. Sending a glance at the silhouette standing at the door, you turned your attention back to untying the mess your shoes were. 

"Hey, Atsumu." You muttered without taking another look, assuming it was Atsumu who had greeted you. You didn't see how Osamu's face soured, dark-grey eyes narrowing at your form with some hostility he couldn't help.

In your defense, the light wasn't on, and you hadn't taken a good look at the boy standing before you, so it wasn't exactly your fault for not realizing it was Osamu, right?

No.

Strike one.

Osamu hated when people mixed him with Atsumu. Did they not see the bright platinum gray hair, clearly different from his twins piss colored one? Osamu hadn't dyed his hair for the sake of looking nice, and he certainly hadn't sat in the hairdresser for hours long just to get mixed up with his twin again.

You had noticed your mistake as soon as you stood up and looked at the tall figure staring at you, leaning on the door frame and his arms tied on his chest almost defensively. "O-oh," Osamu heard you mutter softly, not sure as to why your voice sent goosebumps down his arms. "You're not Atsumu."

The somewhat disappointed tone of your voice made him furrow his brows. The smile you had on your lips dropped as soon as you locked eyes with the grey ones, familiar yet strange, and Osamu could feel himself getting more irked by the second.

The truth was, you weren't exactly disappointed, mostly embarrassed and a little surprised, although the unsatisfied look his eyes held kept making you even more nervous. He waited as your eyes wandered over his face, over the scowl resting on his lips, looking so mean and hostile, you found yourself taking a defensive step away from him.

"I- uh," Osamu's scowl didn't move an inch when you forced a smile at him, and you checked the time on your phone to break the eye contact. "Atsumu told me to come by at 6, and... is he- is he home?"

"Yeah," The boy talked for the first time, and you noticed how his voice was deeper than his twin's. It was nicer, too, you thought. "He's in the shower, though he should be-"

"Y/N, you're here!" You heard the twin you were familiar with speak your name, standing in the entrance, hair still wet and dripping with excess water. 

"Don't get cocky, I'm here for the project." You rolled your eyes with fake annoyance, unsuccessful at hiding your smile. Osamu felt something in him shift as he watched the change in your demeanor, feeling- what, jealous? 

"You met 'Samu?" Atsumu approached you, not missing the tension hanging in the air. "Y/N, this is the inferior twin, 'Samu, as you can also tell. And 'Samu, this' Y/N." He introduced you, making you laugh awkwardly, but Osamu kept his glower. 

"Don't mind him, he can be an asshole sometimes." Atsumu whispered at you, which anyone even passing by outside the house could hear. "Look at who's talking." You told him with a snarky quirk of a brow, making Atsumu frown. "Mean."

The blond pulled you towards the living room, making you settle on the couch and plopping next to you. Osamu caught the glance you sent his way when he didn't sit, leaning against the wall that was across you, instead, and you found he still had that frown that seemed to be imprinted on his face.

Osamu's frown was deepening on his lips at how comfortable you looked next to Atsumu, the friendly banter you had the exact opposite of how uncomfortable you looked next to Osamu. Maybe it was the natural competitiveness that came with having a twin, but Osamu hated this feeling. Why couldn't you smile at him like that, too? Yeah, maybe he was acting like a dick, but wasn't Atsumu also?

"Go dry your hair, idiot, you'll get sick!" Osamu heard you tell his twin, watching you hit him with the nearest pillow. "Hm?" Atsumu turned to you with a grin, leaning towards you for easy access to his hair. "I thought ya could do it for me?"

Osamu watched you with interest as you glared at his twin with annoyance. "I hope you get sick." You narrowed your eyes at him. "If you keep this attitude around other people, I'll kick you."

"Alright, alright, I won't flirt with ya when other people are around." Atsumu grinned, and Osamu felt his appetite vanishing. "I'll just leave." He muttered to himself, closing the door behind him just after hearing your answer to his twin.

"Don't flirt with me, ever?" 

You had spoken it with such genuine annoyance that if you had listened closely, you could hear Osamu laughing from the other side of the door.

~

So, the meeting with his twin was anything but successful.

Osamu was very blunt with how much he hadn't liked you, his glare reminding you of the ones Atsumu had whenever his fans approached him, cold and cruel.

Grey was clearly the superior choice, though, that you found yourself thinking as you gazed at the blond. "What? Lost in my handsomeness?" Atsumu teased you when he noticed you weren't paying attention to the project. You had to hold yourself back physically before you said something along the lines of how his twin was hotter, but you knew he wouldn't talk to you ever again, so you shut your mouth and took the teasing. 

Luckily, Osamu was barging through the door before Atsumu could continue, bored-looking eyes finding you two where he had left you. "Dinner's ready." He told you and left the room.

"Food," Atsumu salivated, jumping on his feet the moment he heard his brother, ready to sprint to the kitchen. You shuffled awkwardly in your place when you felt his warm-brown gaze on you, expecting you to stand up, as well, and eat.

"I- uh," you muttered. "I'm not really hungry, and I ate before I came here." Lies. "Can't we just finish this project instead?"

Strike two.

Just as he started to think you weren't horrible, Osamu gasped from the other side of the wall when he heard you (the walls were thin), his teeth clenching in annoyance. Really? Did you prefer doing a fucking project over his food? The food he had cooked?

Osamu was never a forgiving person, but this- this was something he could never forgive, he decided on the spot.

"Oh, come on, stop bein' a baby." Atsumu told you, pulling you by your hand on your legs, he knew you well to understand you were hesitating to go there because of his brother. Or more as he was making you nervous and you would rather not eat than go in his presence. "Osamu's the best cook around, you'll see." He joked so you could relax a little, making you giggle nervously.

Strikeout.

Osamu flinched at the words, eyes narrowing on you as you entered the kitchen. Did you doubt his abilities? 

You thanked the boy as he placed your plate in front of you, steaming hot food, smelling so good that you wanted to bury your face in it, but the grey gaze hovering over you was making you so nervous that it made it impossible for you to take even a small bite.

"Do ya like it?" Atsumu asked you, noticing how you were nudging the food with your fork without eating. You flinched in your place, your friends' voice pulling you out of your thoughts and back to reality, to which you mustered a smile and nodded. "Yeah! Yeah, it's- it's delicious. Thank you." You turned back to Osamu, who scoffed at your words, causing you to frown. 

You could tell he didn't like you one bit, even though you weren't sure as to why, but you discarded the thought. He was free to like or dislike you, which, in this case, was the latter, though it stung a little since you thought he seemed nice when- well, when he didn't frown at you.

He seemed like the type you would either get along or hate mutually.

He had obviously chosen the latter, and both Atsumu and you could feel the almost hateful air coming from Osamu as he glanced at you with a disinterested, blank face. "Did ya have a bad day or something, 'Samu?" Atsumu broke the silence, and you felt like you could finally take a breath. "You look like someone kicked ya in the nuts."

"Fuck off, 'Tsumu." 

"Nah, you've been acting like a dick all day. What's with ya today?"

"I said fuck off!" Osamu warned his twin another time, this time successfully silencing the blonde. 

"Thank you," You broke the awful silence that followed Osamu's voice. "The food was delicious." You told him after you finished your food. You could still feel his gaze over you as you placed your plate in the sink and retreated to the living room. 

"Your brother didn't like me very much, did he?" Osamu heard you mutter to his brother after he had left, too, feeling a fracture of guilt in his chest as he caught the disappointment in your voice.

"It's just... 'Samu. Don't worry about it." Atsumu told you, closing the door behind you.

~

Osamu was hesitant to knock on the living room door.

It had been about two hours since you had gone in, and knowing his brother- he couldn't be sure as of what's to happening.

"Oi, 'Tsumu!" He barged in the room, discarding the thoughts before he gave up. 

"Shut up." Atsumu whispered, eyes lifting from his phone screen for a second and glancing at you. You, who was lying on the sofa and- sleeping?

"She fell asleep." Atsumu grinned at his brother's questioning gaze. "I'll carry her back to the car. Can you drive her home?"

Osamu didn't hold back his snicker when Atsumu's voice dropped volume as he asked the favor from his brother, still not able to admit to himself the defeat.

"Your hair is still wet, idiot," Osamu mumbled, his eyes wandering over your figure. "And I will not take care of you if you go out and get sick."

"What?" Atsumu grinned mockingly. "Are you gonna carry her then? Be a hero for the girl you've been acting like an ass all day? What the fuck was up with you today?"

"I don't like her." Osamu shrugged.

"She's not the kind of girl you think of her as." Atsumu quickly responded, already aware of what his twin had decided about you. Atsumu knew Osamu too well, his stubbornness even more, so he wasn't exactly surprised when he shrugged. 

"Let me be the judge of that, and I don't have to like her."

"Whatever, you do you. But you know, you don't have to dislike her just because she's my friend, too."

Osamu stood silent, eyes falling back on you. He knew Atsumu was partly right, but he had his reasons not to like you, right? Osamu pocketed his car keys, nodding at his twin and lifting you off the couch.

Atsumu grinned at the audible gulp his twin took when you shifted uncomfortably in Osamu's arms, snuggling your body closer to him, your hand fisting his shirt unconsciously. 

You woke up with Osamu hovering over you, and it took you a second or two to notice you were in a car and he was tying your seatbelt. He was so close, yet so careful not to touch you, his smell -a different perfume than his brother's- filling your newly awakened senses with him, him, him. Your eyes met his when he tied it and pulled back, a brow quirking up as his frown settled on his lips. 

"Did I wake you up?" He muttered as he retreated to his seat, running his fingers through his hair as he fixed his mirror, pushing back the few stray strands back from his face. Osamu turned back to you when you stood quiet, a sarcastic smile quirking his lips upwards, but it fell as soon as you talked.

"Wh- uh, where's Atsumu?"

Osamu clenched his teeth, not knowing why it angered it so much that his twin was the first thing that came to your mind as soon as you woke up.

"Home." Osamu gritted through his teeth. "I'm dropping you home, 'Tsumu gave me the address."

He glanced at you when you stood silent. "He doesn't have a license." Osamu couldn't help but add, a feeling stirring in him when you laughed at that. "So he failed the exam and you passed? That must've been a blow on his ego."

"Oh, you have no idea." Osamu found himself laughing with you.

Silence. He could feel your growing anxiety, and you could tell he was nervous as well, the taps of his fingers on the stirring wheel echoing in the car. His hair reflecting the colors coming from the road, yellow, red, and green, the features of his face illuminated, you thought he looked too handsome to be true.

"Why are you friends with him?" Osamu blurted out after a few seconds of silence, but the question didn't seem to surprise you. "Why is anyone friends with anyone?" You teased.

"Atsumu isn't exactly the type people wanna be friends with." 

"Hm," he heard you humm thoughtfully, not answering the question. "If we're asking questions, well, here's one. Why don't you like me?"

He could feel your light gaze on him as he kept his eyes on the road. It wasn't if he liked you or not, but you asked him why. He found himself wondering where that annoying meak girl he had met inside went. "And you don't like me."

"No," you answered honestly, which he found amusing. "You're mean."

"And 'Tsumu isn't?"

He turned to you when you shrugged. "Well, Atsumu is, too. But there is a difference, you know."

"And what is that?"

"He's a naturally mean person." You explained as if it made perfect sense. "He's just mean, he doesn't try to be meaner or nicer. You, on the other hand," you looked at him. "I don't think you're naturally mean, not as much as him, at least. I think you're purposefully being mean, and thats why I don't like you."

You met his eyes when Osamu turned his eyes from the road to you when the car stopped at the red light, grey eyes glistening with reds and yellows from the road. Your eyes followed the small smile that appeared on his lips, and you couldn't help yourself from thinking how soft they looked. How much more handsome he looked with a smile, even with one as cruel as he had now.

"I just don't like you." He told you with as much spite as possible, not sure why he was deliberately trying to hurt you. His brows furrowed when you laughed at his answer, instead.

"You certainly aren't the first." 

"What does that mean?" He asked without missing a beat, the tension now almost solidifying in the air. His heart was hammering in his chest, eyes watching your smiling lips as he waited for your next words, your chest heaving in sync with his, and you were so close, so close that if he leaned even just a little-

"You only met me today, Osamu-kun." He felt goosebumps climbing his back as he heard his name from your lips for the first time. "You know me for what, a few hours at most, and here you are telling me you just don't like me." The cynical tone of your voice made him send you a glare, his hands working over the gear when the red illuminating the car turned green.

"People like you do this a lot, you know. Judge people by one or two mistakes they do, not even anything major, but things you don't like, and deem them unworthy of your time. And how much I hate it when they boast about it, too. What, do you think you're so perfect? Don't you ever make any mistake?"

"People like me?" Osamu repeated, uncharasterically silent after all those words you had spat. "Yeah, shallow people." You answered, but you weren't looking at him anymore as you tapped the window instead. "We're here." 

You were silent as he stopped the car, pulling to the side, and watched you open the door. "You know," he finally spoke, rolling down his window before you were too far. "You say I judge people so quickly, but you did a full-blown analysis just now, and you say I'm the one to judge quick?"

"Tell me, Osamu." You bent forward a little, leveling your face with his. "If you can promise me that you didn't think, ah, I know this type of girl, even once tonight, I'll take it all back and apologize to you."

You smiled when he stood quiet. 

"Goodnight, Osamu. Thank you for the ride." You told him before walking back to your house.

~

"Ya know, with the amount of time you spend here, you may as well move in." Osamu told you gruffly, eyeing you from his side of the couch. Your eyes followed him as he took a bite out of his food, adam's apple bobbing up and down.  

"I'll move in as soon as you leave." You answered with a fake smile, turning your eyes away from his as soon as you realized you were staring, hoping he hadn't noticed, but he had. 

"Yer sure ya want me to leave?" He quirked a brow at you, making you grimace. "Never been more sure." 

It had been about a month since you met Osamu, and it was like this ever since. Osamu never missed the chance to take a jab at you, or he couldn't sleep. You never backed down from it either, the fights going back and forth until either Atsumu got bored and pulled you away or one of their friends called you out.

You didn't enjoy it like they thought you did. In fact, it was getting tiring and annoying, but you couldn't stop yourself from taking a jab at Osamu whenever he shot you a remark.

He looked at you when you sighed, brows quirking up in a silent question. "When's Atsumu gonna be here?"

Atsumu had told you to come to his place that day, telling you he would be there in a few minutes after you and he had something to do, but as always, he was late at least an hour, and you were now stuck with his brother. 

"I'll just go home and meet you up later." You had told the blonde, but he had insisted you stay. 

"Have you ever seen 'Tsumu come somewhere not at least two hours late? I bet he won't be here for at least an hour more." Osamu chuckled. "I'm hungry." He added right after, eyes finding yours.

"And? You need me to cook?" You snickered, not expecting him to stay silent, looking at you for a few more seconds and rolling his eyes as he turned around and went to the kitchen. 

Your brows furrowed in confusion at the antic. Surely Osamu wasn't- he wasn't asking you if you wanted something, was he?

"At least open a movie or something as we wait." Osamu muttered from the kitchen. 

"Do you have something on mind?" You asked, feeling weird at how soft he suddenly was acting. "No, pick one."

"Okay," you muttered to yourself, emphasizing the 'o'. You thought of opening a volleyball match, Atsumu always liked it when you did, and maybe he would- no, why were you even thinking of what he would like? He told you to open whatever, hadn't he?

Still, despite reasoning with yourself, you were jittery as you opened a random comedy show from Netflix. Trying to focus your thoughts on the show playing, you did your best not to think about the silver-haired boy inside, failing miserably by how your mind wandered to him and the odd way he was acting today.

"Say, ya never gave me an answer as to why yer friends with 'Tsumu." He entered the room, carrying a tray with two plates and forks inside. The crooked smile on his lips was making your heart beat twice as fast, even though you didn't want to admit it, and the way he focused on holding the tray on balance, the slight crease between his furrowed brows. Osamu Miya was too handsome for his own good.

"Thanks," you muttered half-heartedly as you took the plate from him, not even aware it was an olive branch he was sticking out. Osamu's face fell when you didn't spare him or his food another look. "You never gave me an answer of why you don't like me, so I guess we're even." You laughed, smile wavering when he didn't laugh along.

He sighed, eyes glancing at you and then back at his hands. It made you antsy, making you feel like something was wrong.

"You chose this to watch?" He turned back to the not answering you. He shifted in his place when you hummed, "I can change it i fyou want." The way he hadn't made fun of your choice of the movie yet, was too uncharacteristic of him.

"No, its okay." He answered instead, ending the conversation -if you could even call this one. You ate in silence, tv playing in the background, though neither of you cared of it, your gaze meeting now and then until you couldn't take it.

"What is wrong with you?" You couldn't help but blurt out, turning the TV off and facing him. You watched him as he quirked his brow up, looking at you questioningly even though he knew what you meant.

"What is wrong with me?" He repeated.

"Why are you being nice?"

He turned back to face the tv after a beat of silence, looking somewhat... shy? What the-

"Wh-what was that?" You asked when he mumbled something, the answer so silent that it was inaudible. "I said," Osamu repeated, eyes still focused on his plate. "You told me you didn't like me because I- uh, I was rude."

His voice was still uncharacteristically quiet, but this time you heard him loud and clear. That didn't mean you understood it, though.

"What do you mean?" He heard you ask, your voice laced with something resembling suspicion, you scoffed when he stood quiet, standing up to your legs and picking your plate off from the table. "If you're trying to tell me you want me to like you, I'm not buying it."

"You're not buying it?" He repeated, mirroring your movements and standing up, making you realize how much taller he was than you. The way he was looking at you- what was it, hurt? No, it couldn't be. Anger would be more like it. 

"Is there no way of winning with you?" He asked, following you to the kitchen and placing his plate a little too roughly on the counter. "You say you don't like me because I'm rude. I try to be nice and you fucking ask me what's wrong with me? What do you want me to do, disappear?"

Now, there was no denying that Osamu was, indeed, hurt, as his face soured when you stood quiet, staring at him blankly at his question. "So you hate me this much." He muttered to himself, running his fingers through his hair. 

"I don't know why you expected me to like someone who has been nothing but rude to me since the moment we met." You shrugged, but a part of you wanted to tell him it was a lie, and despite everything that you- well, you liked him. 

The glare he sent your way was enough to make you choke on the breath you took, taking a step forward to you, close enough for you to feel dizzy with his scent.

"Well, that concludes it, I guess. This was stupid, anyway." Osamu muttered, but he was so close- so close that you could almost feel the heat radiating from him, your eyes fixated on his lips, and if you just leaned forward- a few millimeters was all there was.

"What was- what was stupid?" You whispered, noticing his gaze was also wandering on your lips. Your heart suddenly started thundering in your chest, and you couldn't even ask yourself what's happening? What are you doing?

"This," Osamu breathed against your lips, his gaze so intense over you that it sent chills down your spine. He finally leaned forward, doing what you wanted but couldn't do, the word "apologizing," being the last thing you hear before you felt his lips on yours.

It was a soft kiss, nothing similar to how you thought Osamu would kiss -not that you had thought on it, or so you told yourself-, this kiss was deeper, irrational, amazing. 

"Do you always apologize to people by kissing them?" You asked when he pulled back, smirking at the way your chest heave, feeling a tinge of pride at how breathless he had left you.

"Hm?" He hummed, not wiping that damn smirk off of his face, it even grew wider when he noticed you pressing your fingers on your lips, still in shock, "I don't apologize to people." 

It was true. 

No one had ever seen Osamu Miya change his opinion about something, about someone. He would never admit he was wrong yet apologize.

But here he was, standing before you -just as breathless as you were- apologizing. 

"Maybe you should apologize more." You told him with a sly smile, to which he happily complied.

~

"I wanted to make peace." He told you, sitting on the couch right beside you, refusing to look at you, though. "I've been trying to act nice for a while now, but you seem to- you don't like that."

"A while?" You repeat. "You were never nice to me!"

"I was trying." His brows furrowed at your protest. "But you always had something snarky to say, and I couldn't just stay silent, could I now?"

"But- what? You were always the one who started them!" 

"Was I?" He asked, giving you the time to think, watching your face in disbelief fall into a look of 'fuck, he's right.'

It was you who started the fights, despite thinking it was him all this time. Upon recognizing that, you started to see the times he actually was nice to you, which you had always discarded or turned a blind eye.

Biting your lip guiltily, your turned to him. "I might... owe you an apology." You muttered, very aware of how his eyes glinted, gaze falling back on your lips. "Well," he told you, smiling. "I can't disagree."

[prettyboybuckley]

2021 FIC YEAR IN REVIEW

tagged by @zainclaw & @adventuresofprettyboyandthekid 💕

Total Number Of Completed Works: 58

Total Word Count: 215,078

Fandoms I’ve Written In

I started off with some fic for Shameless and then I went almost exclusively for 9-1-1, with two Teen Wolf fics in October.

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected?

Well, the expected amount was none at all. I've been writing fiction since I was 13, but I got into writing fanfiction this year after becoming obsessed with Shameless while I was also doing a creative writing class in hopes of getting out of my two-year-long writer's block. As you can see by the word count, I've succeeded.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year?

Considering the number of fics I've written, this is a really hard question. There are just so many to pick from! I suppose I'll give the same top 3 as in my other year review: what a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you, all the reasons i'm not good enough, traces of the life i've lived

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year?

Kinktober felt like one big risk, to be honest. There were a lot of days when I was like... I'm not sure anyone is going to like this. The Buddietaylor series was also a risk, considering how most of this fandom feels about Taylor. It all worked out fine, though, and especially the threesome fics got a lot more love than I expected!

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?

So, I might be slightly insane. I have written 225k since September 1st (this includes my WIP's) and have decided that next year I'm going for 500k over the whole year. Achievable? Probably, but it's going to be a challenge! A fun challenge though! I'm hoping to have at least 50k of it be original fiction since I want to try getting back into that.

Most Popular Story Of The Year?

Definitely parents always yelling (telling us to get our acts together), which is funny because it was definitely my most impromptu story. I just came across a post, was inspired and wrote it in the span of about twelve hours. It just kind of blew up!

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion

what a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you, which I will explain more about in the biggest disappointment question.

Most Fun Story To Write

I'm going to cheat a little here, since the story that I had the most fun with was the one I worked on all of November for nanowrimo, but it won't be up for another month or two: the College AU, which is my pride and joy and still about 20k from being finished.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story

welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind, maybe? A lot of Buck's insecurities are similar to my own, and to what I feel like my insecurities might be if I ever become a parent.

Biggest Disappointment

By now it's got a decent amount of kudos (317 to be exact, but it took a few months to get there) but I was mildly dissappointed by how what a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you, the stripper fic, was received. It came right after my most popular fics so to see it flop that bad didn't make me feel

Biggest Surprise

you could call me babe for christmas ('tis the damn season), the Christmas fake dating fic that was not supposed to be that long. It turned out almost double the word count it was supposed to be, and it's the longest thing I've written and finished.

My Favorite Part Of Fandom This Year

becoming a part of it! I haven't been active in a fandom since 2015, and never before while posting fanfiction and making gifs. I'm so grateful for all the friends I've made and the people supporting me ❤️❤️

I'm not tagging anyone cause it took me way too long to do this so everyone's probably been tagged 🙈feel free to do it if you want to

[ghost-nabbers-imagines]

A family: Larry x Fem! Reader Part 1.

A/n Small warning of mentions of sex and a couple sexual scenes will take place but I don't know if I'll do full lemons or not, they're won't be a dull lemon in this. As always theres definitely cussing. Takes place in high school. An au where the apartments have ghosts and the cult exists but the red eyed demon doesn't. Anyways enjoy this little story hope it's good.

I woke up with the weight of someone's arm around bare waist. Looking down I see everything was still bare from the night before. The arm wrapped around me belongs to none other than my very best friend Larry. Yep you read that right best friend not boyfriend. Considering how lonely and well horny we had both been lately we decided a friends with benefits relationship would be a good idea.

With a small stretch I carefully pulled Larry's arm off of my body and pulled myself from the bed. I let out a small giggle as Larry readjusted to where he was cuddling a pillow. "Goofball." I scoffed grabbing my underwear and sliding them on as well one of Larry's many Sanitys Fall shirts. I made my way out into his bathroom brushing my teeth and making my hair look like I hadn't just spent the night having sex.

I also made sure to slip on my skinny jeans from last night. I frowned feeling the way I struggled to get them on. "Damn it. How the hell did I shrink my jeans?!" I huffed looking into the mirror. I lifted the shirt that was way too big on me. I had noticed my stomach was sticking out a tiny bit more but not a lot. On the plus size it looked like my tits had also gotten bigger.

When I exited the bathroom Larry's mom Lisa was leaning against the counter sipping coffee. "Morning (y/n). I didn't know you were staying last night." She said flashing me her warm smile. "Morning Lisa. I wasn't planning on it but by the time we finished with our art project it was so late I didn't want to wake you or my parents so I just stayed." I shrugged. I felt kind of guilty lying to Lisa since she was more like a mom to me than my own mother. I also didn't want to risk her finding out and not letting me sleep over anymore.

She finished her coffee and set the cup in the sink. "Well you know you're always welcome here. Will I see you for family dinner tonight?" She asked collecting her things for work. She seemed to pause reaching around her pockets while looking around the room. I grabbed her keys from couch and handed them to her making her smile. "Wouldn't miss it!" I beamed. "See you kids tonight then. Give Larry a kiss goodbye for me." She joked hugging me goodbye.

Once she left I went ahead and poured two cups of coffee. As I was making two plates of the eggs and toast Lisa had prepared I heard the bedroom door creak open. Larry stumbled out still tired. "Morning sleepy head." I smirked. "Morning." He yawned making his way over to the table. I placed a kiss on his cheek handing him his coffee. "What was that for?"

"Its from your mom."

"I don't get one from you?"

"No way you have morning breath."

He grabbed my arm pulling me into his lap so I was straddling him. One of hands moved to my hips the other to the back of my neck. He pulled me into a heated kiss sliding his tongue in my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss and pulled me closer. We stayed like that until we had to pull away for air. "Hurry up and get ready Johnson." I breathed getting up and eating my breakfast.

Once the two of us had eaten and he had gotten dressed we grabbed our bags and headed out to meet up with Sal. "You look good in my shirt by the way." He whispered as you approached your friends door. I smirked quickly tapping the door. Soon after Sal exited the apartment and the three of us left for school.

Sal and Larry had their first period together but I had it with our friend Ashley. The two of us were in the gym locker room changing into our Knockfell High uniforms.

"So then I told my mom i had important plans tonight and she actually told me that my brother was more important and to cancel. Can you believe that? So I told her you and I were studying for some exam."

I was laughing at Ashley's excuse when one of the other girls sprayed on her perfume and even though she didn't spray much it was like the smell surrounded me. My stomach bubbled and suddenly I could feel the eggs from that morning in the back of my throat. Nausea overcame me I couldn't help it so I ran into the biggest stall and collapsed onto my knees puking immediately into the bowl.

Ashley came over and knocked on the stall door. "You ok babes?" She asked concern lacing her voice. I finished puking and flushed the toilet. "Yeah I think so." I said confused. "Are you sure? You got sick this time yesterday too." She pointed out. I thought for a moment realizing she was right. Eveyday about this time I got sick. What the hell was wrong with me? I shakily stood up to leave the bathroom when a health poster taped to the door caught my attention. It was one of the new Planned Parenthood posters with information on pregnancy and STDs. My eyes grew at a sudden theory popped into my head.

"H-hey Ashes what's the date today?" I asked exiting the bathroom. "Its the fifteenth. Ohh Is it that time of the month that's bothering you?" She asked placing a comforting hand on my bag. I thought for a moment doing the math in my head. "I-I Ha-have to go." I stuttered grabbing my bag and running from the room. As I ran to town I silently prayed I was wrong that I had miscounted.

I ran straight to the store probably looking like a crazy person that passed by. But I got to the pharmacy quickly not even remembering most of my way there from how quickly I was going. The bell jingles as I make my way inside abruptly causing several shoppers and a couple employees to stop and stare. Ignoring their looks I made my way to the isle and started searching. I never knew how many types of tests there could be. I grabbed one I thought would work and made my way to the counter. The cashier was an older woman who started at me with a judging look on her face the whole time. I did my best to ignore her shoving the money onto the counter. The minute she handed me the bag I took off heading to the apartments.

I could feel warm tears falling down my cheeks and was breathing rapidly as I ran home. I ran straight into the building and into the elevator pressing my back up against the wall as it moved. Luckily my parents wouldn't be home at least I'd have privacy for my whole world ending. The second the doors open I bolted right into my apartment dropping my bag on the couch before running to my room. I went into the bathroom taking the test before sitting on the floor.

2 long minutes later the test read positive. I felt my whole world come crashing down around me when those little lines appeared. "How could this happen?" I mumble out loud. I was completely shocked, Larry and I were careful plus I had birth control. That's when a light bulb went off in my head. Struggling to pull myself off the floor I ran into my room. I didnt find what I was looking for in my bags or in my bathroom. I fished around in my dresser still not finding what I was searching for. That's when I remembered were I was last night and most nights.

"Shit shit shit!" I mumbled grabbingmy purse and my keys as well as hiding the test in my pocket before exiting my apartment. I made my way down to the basement hoping that Lisa wasn't home. Unfortunately as I opened the door she was in the kitchen making a fried balogna sandwich. As soon as I walked through that door the smell filled my nose and the nausea returned. I tried to swallow down walking farther into the apartment.

"(Y/n) dear why are you not in school what happened? Are you sick? You don't look like you're feeling too well?" She asked in her motherly voice. "Li-lisa I-" before I could finish my sentence I felt what was left of my food coming back up. I ran straight into the bathroom not bothering to close the door. As I threw up I could feel Lisa pulling my hair back. She held my hair back in one hand and soothed my back with the other.

When I finished throwing up I flushed the toilet and Lisa put my hair up into a ponytail. I learned up against the bathroom wall feeling tears spill down my cheeks again. Silent tears cascaded to the floor. Lisa filled up a dixie cup with water and dampened a wash cloth handing the cup to me and wiping my face with the cloth. "There there dear its alright. Why don't you and I go sit on the sofa and talk?" She suggested as I swallowed a majority of the water.

The two of us made our way into the living room sitting on the couch. Lisa left a comforting hand on my back as I struggled to breath. I let it all come out spilling every detail like more vomit coming out as words. Lisa continued to comfort me with a shocked expression on her face. "Are you sure did you take a test?" She asked handing me a tissue. I handed her the test before wiping my nose.

"Does Larry know yet?" She asked. I shook my head in response. "I just figured it out and got the test today." Lisa nodded her head for a moment clearly in thought. "Wait right here." She said grabbing her phone from the coffee table. She came back in probably ten minutes later purse in hand and changed into casual clothes. "Come on were gonna meet a friend of mine at planned parenthood. Just to double check. And they'll give you information on your choices." She informed me. The two of us made our way out to Lisa's pickup truck silently.

"Are you mad?" I asked breaking the silence as we turned off the road. She sighed stopping at a red light and putting her hand on my shoulder. "A little disappointed maybe but never mad." She smiled. It didn't take very long for us to get there. There was a handful of protesters outside the building as well as a few people passing by who stared at me with the same look as the cashier earlier. Lisa wrapped her arm around me glaring at the others.

About an hour later I was exiting the clinic with a handful of pamphlets and brochures and my head spinning. "Do you have any thoughts on what to do?" Lisa asked me as we climbed into the car. "I think I should talk to Larry before I make any decision." I sighed leaning back into the seat. Lisa nodded and we drove back home.

"You should call your parents over for family dinner tonight. Once the other kids leave we can all sit down and talk." Lisa suggested. She was always so smart and caring. I knew she would be mentally freaking out so it meant a lot that she was being comforting. "I just hope they're as nice as you're being. Thank you so much Lisa." I said with a small smile. She smiled back as we pulled back to the apartments.

Once we got back to her apartment I hid the test and pamphlets in my bag. "Larry should be home any minute now if you wanna wait in the treehouse to talk to him. Just promise me you'll be careful climbing up there." She said softly. I nodded giving her a hug which she returned tightly. When we pulled apart she handed me a water bottle. "Drink this while you're waiting. After throwing up you need to make sure you stay hydrated. Especially with my grandbaby in your tummy." She smiled winking. I smiled grabbing the water before making my way out to the treehouse to wait for Larry.

I walked around the small treehouse admiring some of the polaroids and pictures that Larry painted. I smiled seeing one of Larry and I. Sal had taken just a month ago. Larry had his arms around me as we painted something. He was trying to teach me how he paints but really it came out as a mess on the canvas. "That's a good picture of us." A voice said from behind me. I turned to see Larry standing there smiling at me. "Sure is. Look Larry I need to talk to you about something serious. Can we sit down?" I asked gesturing towards two beanbag seats he kept up here. He looked confused but nodded.

The two of us took a seat and I was suddenly nervous. We were only 16 we couldn't be parents. "Hey what's wrong (nickname)?" He asked grabbing my hand. I took a deep breath squeezing his hand before grabbing the test from my pocket. "I'm pregnant." I said simply despite the fear in my chest. Larry's eyes got wide and he grabbed the test from my hands. "Dude if this is a joke it's not funny." He said jumping up. By now the tears were starting to fall. "Its not a joke Larry." I sniffed standing up with him. "B-but how?" He asked running his hand through his messy long hair.

"I must've missed a pill or something."

"You missed a pill? How could you have missed a pill and not tell me!" He asked upset. "It happens Larry I don't know. But this isn't just my fault we did this."

"You're right sorry. What do you want to do have you made a decision on keeping it?"

"I don't know I wanted to talk to you."

"We're sixteen (Y/n) were too young."

"I know I know. But I don't think I want to abort it, it just sounds wrong. I believe women should have the right to choose but I don't want to abort our baby."

"Of course you don't I mean I wouldnt either if I was you. I don't know how I feel about adoption. I mean I love my mom and she did a great job but not knowing my dad and not knowing that part of myself was hard. I don't think I could do that to my kid. I always told myself I'd be there for my kid unlike him."

"That only leaves one option Larry."

He sighed looking at me for a moment before coming over and wrapping his arms around me. "Looks like we're gonna have this baby. If you're sure that is." He whispered holding me close. "I'm sure I want us to keep our baby." I replied. Larry pulled away a bit wiping away my tears. "Your mom went with me to the clinic and everything but we should go tell her we're keeping it." I told him looking up to meet his eyes. He honestly looked kind of happy. "Guess so much for strings attached huh." He joked laughing his melodic laugh. I laughed and we made our way out and back to the treehouse.

Ok that was it for the first chapter let me know what you think if you'd like but I'm definitely making it a series.

~Lex💛

[odinsonsobsessed]

Talk Loki To Me  • Part Five

Businessman by day, someone else entirely by night… An AU where Tom Hiddleston isn’t a famous film actor. He’s just a normal guy, your roommate of two years. The two of you are really close and you think you know everything about him, until you discover his secret… He’s a popular erotic audio star, taking on the persona of Loki, a god hellbent on making you cum. And when you accidentally discover this secret of his, everything begins to change.

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston/Reader  || Word Count: 1.1k || Rated M (18+)

Series Masterlist

You were sure Tom could tell how nervous and hesitant you were, but he kept you pretty calm and relaxed. He carried on like normal, telling you about his day, the shenanigans that went on in the office. He asked about your day, too. It wasn't long after you sat down at the table that your worries faded away. The two glasses of wine you had helped, too.

Dinner was absolutely amazing, as always. After the two of you had cleaned up, you went to get changed into something more comfortable. Tom had asked you to meet him in his room, so you lingered in the doorway, hesitant.

“So I… I'm not going to listen to this on my own?” You played with the hem of your top nervously. You honestly thought you’d be able to listen to it in the comfort of your own room, without him, but apparently he had other plans.

Tom looked at up at you from his laptop and laughed, getting up to come and stand in front of you at the door. “Nope. We’re doing this together. It'll be easier that way. Would you rather go to your room?”

You shook your head, “Why can’t we just do this in the living room?” You mumbled, causing Tom to smirk.

“You're uncomfortable. Do you want to back out?”

“N-No!... I mean…” You huffed in embarrassment, “I'll be fine. I'm a big girl. I keep my promises.”

“Come on, then.” He grabbed your hand and tugged you over to the bed. “You can use the headphones if you need to.” He stifled a laugh and you glared at him as you got comfortable on the bed, resting next to him against the headboard.

“Look, this is a little awkward for me, okay? It's not every day you have to listen to your roommate do… this.” You gestured to the audio equipment he had scattered around his room.

He dropped his smile, a hint of it still lingering. “Okay, you're right.” A laugh he was holding back escaped and he covered his mouth until he could compose myself. “I'm sorry… Please, by all means, use the headphones.” He teased, handed them to you. You stuck out your tongue at him before you put them on, plugging them into the jack.

“Ready?” His muffled voice asked you and you took a couple of deep breaths before nodding.

He pressed play and Loki's confident voice flooded into your ears. Your cheeks heated as he spoke and you refused to look at Tom while you listened. “Well well well, what do we have here?” He chuckled. “My most loyal pet, sitting here on your knees all pretty for me. So well behaved… However, I still have to punish you, for what you did earlier...” His tone turned harsh, and you couldn't help how aroused it made you feel. The more you listened, the wetter you became.

God, you were getting so turned on by this audio and you wished desperately that you were alone and not sitting exactly two inches from him. You were embarrassed, you were horny, and you just wanted to get off by the end of it. It didn't help that sometimes your arms would brush together when one of you shifted, or that his hand rested on the bed close to your knee. God, you wouldn't be able to get to your room and away from him fast enough.

You tugged the headphones off when it stopped and Tom looked at you expectantly, “Well?”

“It um… It was great.” You flashed him a nervous smile and looked away.

His face dropped, “That's it? Just ‘it was great’? Was there anything you'd change? Was it too much?”

“Well…” You looked down a the headphones, playing with the foam around the piece that goes over your ear.

You looked up when Tom suddenly put his hand on your knee. He was so eager for you to continue, “Yes? Go on!” God, how was this so easy for him? You could probably fry up some pancakes on your face right now!

You swallowed, clenching your fists as you tried to ignore the heat of his touch that shot up your leg. He was counting on you, so you tried to push your nervousness aside and go for it. “It was really good. I don't think I'd really change anything, but maybe… erm… There was this one part that I'd probably add something to it, maybe? Nothing too major. It's about a minute and a half in…” You tore your gaze away from him and pointed at the screen, at the timeline of the audio file. “Right there.”

You handed him the headphones and thankfully, he took his hand off of your knee so he could put them on to listen to it. You talked it over with him afterward, going over a couple of ideas that he had. It was really awkward at first, but you pushed it aside to help him, and it got easier. He didn't tease you or make a big deal out of it like you thought he might. Tom seemed really appreciative of your feedback and thanked you for it as he typed in some notes in a document for later. He was so serious about it… dedicated. Somehow that made him even more attractive to you. You found yourself staring at him as he focused on his computer screen as he made his notes and when he listened intently when you explained what you thought.

Sometimes he'd rest his hand really close or start to smirk when something sounded good, you were starting to think he smelled really good and… You really needed to leave.

When the two of you were finished, you said your good nights. Just when you got off of the bed, he called for you. When you turned around, to look at him, there a smirk planted on his face. “Try not to be too loud in there.” He said with a wink.

Your cheeks reddened and you picked up one of his pillows and threw it at him. He caught it, laughing loudly as you quickly left the room.

As the weeks drew on, you felt yourself more and more captivated by Tom. You were beginning to notice little things about him that drove you nuts. His constant adjusting of glasses, his fidgeting habits where he'd touch his thighs or his chest, the way he'd run his hand through his hair, how tight his pants always seemed to fit, how long those damn fingers were… the list went on. God, how had you never noticed these things before? You felt this undeniable tension building and you weren't sure what to do about it. What could you do about it? You were best friends and didn't want to make things weird if you initiated something that he had absolutely no interest in. You were beginning to want him, you wanted to know what it was like to touch him, to be touched by him. More than just a platonic cuddle in your bed. You wanted more. And it was driving you crazy.

@fandom-and-feminism @fadingcoast @igotloki @mrshiddleston-uk @nikkalia @manager-of-mischief @spidey-bites @kcd15 @dangertoozmanykids101 @xxloki81xx @starletah @msunnsstuff @hiddlesbatchsworld @redfoxwritesstuff @just-the-hiddles @heart-shaped-hell @thatweirdwalangpake @loki-and-hiddles @kitsuneharo12 @thathedonistgirl @littlefrogstuff @maximeshepard-beavakarian @iris-suoh @devilbat @furstinnajoelle @exbandragirl @hiddlestonstansworld @sabine-leo @fire-in-her-veinz @sinder3llaizzy @midnight-queen-1 @bananasbreadd @lady-loki-ren @melsmontanabear @blatantly-lokean

If your tag is in bold, it means I could not tag you for some reason!

Taglist is OPEN!

[deadimagineblog]

Trouble Comes In Threes (Triplet!AU) (2/?)

Modern!AU, College!AU. This is my first triplet AU post but I'm gonna give it my best! Fem!S/O just so you know! There will be smut NSFW, but not in this part. So lets start!

Tag List: @secretlyshycomputer

Part Two!

° You see good old Ben standing against your car, looking at his phone and typing away on it. His face seemed frustrated, but when you walked up to him, he smiled warmly. "You ready?" He asked. You looked at him with a skeptical eyebrow raised. "Kylo still not answering you?" You asked and his smile fell a small amount. You could tell Ben was really trying.

° "No he answered, but said he was busy. I told him it was just one dinner with family, but he says we are here permanently, and he'll catch us next time," Ben stated, frustrated again. He seemed to be thinking when he suddenly lit up. "Here, take a picture with me," he asked, and you leaned into him and both of you stuck your tongues out and made funny faces and he snapped a photo and turned it around so both of you could see. "That one is cute, Ben, send it to me," you stated smiling at him but he was busy sending it to his brother.

°Ben: Got a cute friend with me who wants to meet you. [Picture Attachment]

Kylo: She's just your friend, Ben?

Ben: Yeah! She really wanted to meet my brothers, Crylo. You're ruining the fun.

Kylo: ...Fine. But I can't stay out long, I've got to finish these class packets before Monday.

Ben: Oh so when its just me and Matt its no, but a cute girl there and you're all about it. >:O

Kylo: Shut up, Ben.

° "He sounds like me," you say with a laugh as he pockets his phone with a triumphant smile on his face. You both hopped into the car, you making Ben drive now because your legs were still tight from that morning. You both smiled and laughed at one another as he let the GPS led him to the spot that Matt had suggested to him on the phone the day before. When you yawned loudly, he pushed your knee with his big hand, "No none of that, I'm planning on keeping you out all night," Ben teased, squeezing your knee as you whined loudly about how he should have waited till tomorrow before dragging you out and about. As if to drown you out, he turned up the radio to be blasting as he drove, grinning at you. You shook you head and instead of whining, you merely sang with the radio obnoxiously with him. The drive wasn't too long, about 15 minutes to the other side of the small town the university was located in. When you seemed to be approaching the location, he turned the radio back to a normal level. "I think you'll like this place, Matt took me here when I came out to visit for New Years."

° "Is it pizza?" You asked hopefully and he laughed, "It has pizza. And loud music," and you smiled widely. "Ah, yes my two favorite things." He pulled the car into a parking spot, and when he turned off the car, you could tell he wasn't kidding about the loud music, hearing the bass thump through the very foundation itself. You got out of the car, running a hand through your hair, ruffling it. You wore just a simple outfit, an oversized black t-shirt with a band logo on the front of it and jean shorts because it was still pretty hot outside. You walked with him to the front door, seeing a large man standing by the door. At first you thought it was some sort of bouncer and you were momentarily worried about what kind of place this was. It wouldn't surprise you if this was a damn strip club in some joke Ben that would be funny. As you got closer though, you realized it may have been the last brother just by the way looked. He was like Matt with no facial hair covering his strong chin, and his hair was that jet black that Ben had. He was dressed in a black shirt and black jeans that fit his frame almost perfectly. His hair was longer than Ben's, full wavy locks touching his chin. You smiled at the man but full lips stayed planted in a straight expression.

° "Crylo!" Ben stated with excitement and his brother looked away from you. Kylo reached out a hand to shake his brother's hand in greeting but Ben instead pulled his brother into a tight hug as he had done with Matt and you put your hand over your mouth to keep from laughing at Kylo's exasperated expression as he was squeezed tightly by his brother. When Ben released his brother from his tight hold, Kylo stepped back, rolling his eyes at brother's affection but this time he at least had the beginnings of a smile on his face. "Kylo this is my best friend Y/N, Y/N this is the little brother Kylo," he introduced as you put your hand out to shake Kylo's hand, his large hand covering yours almost completely. "Nice to meet you, Kylo. I've heard a lot about you from Ben."

° "All bad things I'm sure," Kylo stated, deep voice rumbling as he turned his gaze back down to you. You smiled widely and answered, "Mostly, yeah." This made Kylo chuckle gently as they heard a voice come up behind them.

°"Y-you actually did it, Ben. I never thought you'd pull him out of his cave," Matt's soft teasing making Kylo scowl at his brother as Matt walked up and stood beside you. Ben seemed to light up suddenly. You couldn't help but smile at his reaction to having his brothers all around him like he wanted. He opened the door and let everyone walk ahead of him before he rushed to the counter to beat Kylo there. You stayed beside Matt, who made pleasant conversation with you. He was wearing a warm colored orange polo, and dark jeans. When he tried to move forward to pay for his part of everything, you hooked your arm with his and held him back with you. He turned to look at you with confusion, cheeks dusting with pink as you smiled at him.

° "For science reasons, stay with me just for a second so I can see them interact to see how bad it is," you asked him, and he laughed but nodded. "Its almost like they try to outdo one another all the time," Matt answered and almost on cue you heard Ben laugh a hearty laugh. It almost sounded fake.

° "I dragged you out Kylo, I'll take care of it!" Ben teased about to slide his credit card to the clerk but Kylo took his card instead and handed it to the clerk. "Its gonna be four of us," Kylo stated to the clerk.

° "How many tokens, sir?" The clerk asked boredly, looking at the triplets with some interest, probably because of how attractive each was. Ben smiled at the clerk, "Lets do 40 first," before looking at Kylo with the same smile. "How about I get the tokens and skates and you can get the pizza?" Ben tried to offer as a compromise. Kylo looked at Ben before he sighed almost in irritation, putting his hand out to the clerk who handed his card back to him and Ben handed his card over with a smile, but he seemed almost exhausted now. You let go of Matt's arm with a pat and moved over to Ben and wrapped his arm into yours and grinned up at him. He seemed to perk up immediately and he moved his arm up and wrapped it around your shoulders.

° As you both walked in, you saw why Ben thought you would like this place. It was, firstly, gigantic. There was a full roller rink in the back of the place and an arcade and concession stand at the front by the door and chairs and tables where college students were gathered and eating huge pizzas. Ben, Matt, and you moved over to pick up your rented skates and Kylo moved over to order the pizza. "That wasn't so bad, Ben," Matt stated hopefully to which Ben stopped smiling for a moment before shaking his head and looking back at his brother. "No, it wasn't so bad. I told him I would cover everything though..." He trailed off but soon the person behind the counter handed his skates to him and he smiled at the employee and led him and Matt over to the table they were planning on sitting and beginning to put on their skates. You waited for your skates patiently as you felt someone stand next to you. You looked up to see Kylo standing next to you and you smiled up at him.

°"So I heard you got a job as a teaching assistant. What subject?" You asked curiously and he answered.

° "Psychology," he answered with a simple straight word. You nodded at the answer before adding, "Yeah you seem like the kind of guy that wants to get into people's heads," teasing him gently, and he didn't answer. You grabbed your skates from the employee, thanked them, and moved over to Ben and Matt, Matt standing shakily on his skates. Jesus they were even taller in skates. You began to unlace your shoes and stated gently so it was just them who could hear you. "Not much of a talker is he," to which Ben nodded with a roll of his eyes.

° "M-more of a brooding kind of guy," Matt agreed, "He's a good guy, just obsessed with work and school and isn't much for idle conversation." Ben quickly cut in, "Come on Matty, lets get out there and show these people how its done. Maybe find a girl you can skate your way into," Ben nudged Matt's shoulder and you looked at Matt's face.

° "You're disgusting and w-we should wait for Y/N," Matt said bluntly. However you waved them away, "Go ahead guys, these are boots so its gonna take a while," you assured Matt who was suddenly under the arm of Ben who was leading them to the rink. You smiled after them and kept unlacing your boots as Kylo sat down next to you and began putting on his own skates as well. There was silence for a moment, you assuming he wasn't interested in talking. You pulled off both your boots and began to lace up your skates on your feet. He spoke coolly.

° "So, you and Ben?" He asked calmly, looking at you as he tied a small bow on his skate. You laughed and shook your head, "He wishes but no. I don't want to be another notch in his bed post. We are good friends though, I adore him to pieces," you spoke honestly, "If he ever wanted to calm down, I'd probably consider it. But I'd never ask him to stop doing what he wants. I'd go so far as to say that is just part of who he is. And I love him for it. What about you, anybody in your life?"

° You watch him shake his head, his hair moving with the motion, "I had a pretty bad break up at the end of the last year, I haven't really been looking to go through that again." You nodded as you stood up from your spot, skates securely on your feet. "I feel that, man. My ex broke up with me over a text because I didn't get into the school he wanted me to get into," as he finished tying up his skates, you held out your hand to help him up which he surprisingly took and you had to brace yourself to pull the tall man up, "But hey, new year, new job, new opportunities. Maybe we can find someone worth our time." You finished, smiling at Kylo before releasing his hand and Kylo nodded, "Maybe."

° You left his side then, skating over to Matt, looking at the scene before them. Ben had found someone to talk to, of course. What else would he be doing. You smirk and roll your eyes as you skate next to Matt nonchalantly as you both look at Ben as you skate by. The girl was pretty cute, you supposed you couldn't really blame him. "W-wasn't this supposed to be like a bonding thing?" Matt's soft voice reached your ears and you turned and shrugged. "I'm only here as a referee, otherwise I'm clueless," you stated with a laugh. You figured you'll enjoy the company you had, "So what's your major, Matt?" His eyebrows furrowed together for a moment, looking genuinely surprised that you asked him something to get to know him but he recovered quickly and answered.

° "T-theoritical Physics, I also plan in minoring in Technology. What about you?" He asked curiously, giving you a smile. You answered his question and you happily continued a conversation with him. He was a nice personality, still a little timid but he seemed to warm up to people quickly. You had been chatting him up basically, being just a little bit flirty but making sure only to keep his blushing to a minimum. "So Matt, is it true that blondes really have more fun?" You asked teasingly and were happy to see you making him laugh a little bit. He was about to respond when his smile suddenly disappeared as someone rushed past him, the speed made a wind kick past both of you and right behind it was another blast of wind. Both of you watched as two out of three Solos were racing around the rink. Ben had a look of pure determination, probably because he was losing, meanwhile Kylo was rolling up his sleeves as he speed skated backwards around the ring. You could feel Matt get nervous next to you, but he also almost hissed.

° "S-showboats just like our Grandfather always was," Matt stated bitterly as you both watched the two dark haired men speed around the rink. But suddenly Ben had grin as he suddenly slid towards Kylo, since he was skating backwards he couldn't keep up the speed he had at first so Ben zoomed past him pretending to pass the finish line, arms up in the air as he past you and Matt once again, the most smug look on his strong features. Matt rolled his eyes but suddenly his side was empty as you skated up to Ben to be next to him. "Benny boy, play nice," you stated with a smirk and he smirked as well as he turned around to skate backwards and look at you. "He started it, I swear," Ben stated, lifting his hand up to show he meant it.

° "Sure he did," you stated, faking that you didn't believe him. "Whatever, kid." You both stuck your tongues out at each other before he leaned forward pretending to try and put his tongue on yours before he suddenly had to catch you. You almost fell because you were trying to avoid his tongue but he caught you in his arms before you both started laughing. You skated together. Ben occasionally looking over to his brothers who were talking to each other and staring at the two of you.

° You finally sit down when your pizza is brought out. And the thing really is freaking huge, with these 3 giants and yourself, you guys barely finish the half of the damn thing. After eating, you, Ben, and Matt take off your skates, but don't bother putting on your shoes because you all knew you'd be going back on the rink. Kylo however put his shoes on. He did say he didn't plan on staying long, maybe he planned on leaving soon. Ben pulled you and Matt over to the arcade as you both held and enormous amount of tokens in your pockets. Matt immediately went for the old school games, Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Cinepede, the classics. Meanwhile Ben had moved over to the more physical ones, basketball, whack-a-mole, things like this. Lastly, you had sat down at a Jurassic Park game, the one where you sat down in something that looked like the Jeep from the movie and there were spots for two people, and two plastic guns, one red one blue. You set your tokens on the plastic "dashboard" and started filling in coin after coin. You pressed the start button and began.

° These games were something you just couldn't resist. Plus it had freaking dinosaurs. Who could honestly resist dinosaurs? You began, and it started out easy enough. But soon you were overwhelmed. "Ben!" You called to the side, filling in more coins and pressing the start button so you didn't lose your place. "Busy!" Ben called over to you as he shot basketballs into a moving hoop. "Matt Matt Matt!" you called over to the other side but you got no answer. You dared to look over to see Matt with his eyes two inches away from the screen and was obviously deep in concentration. You weren't sure if Kylo came over to the arcade at all but you were gonna try anyway. "Kyl--" Knock knock, you looked over to see a man move to sit next to you. You chanced to look over and saw Kylo himself, "--Oh. Quick quick, start button!" but he was already two steps ahead of you. He grabbed the red gun and slammed his fist on the start button. You immediately felt the stress of the game lift off your shoulders as Kylo began to help out. You both cleared the level no problem but soon the next one began and you two stayed at the ready. It was... Intense. Both of you were so focused, neither really noticed that Ben and Matt had moved to be next to the game, peeking over your shoulders to see the game. You didn't really notice until when you both finished the next level and Ben cheered for you loudly and you almost jumped out of your skin. You laugh at your reaction as does he but when you suddenly become serious again and gun points at the screen, he laughs even louder.

° You were getting close to the end, you and Kylo had blasted through most of the last level, but now here you both were, face to face with the mighty, the powerful, god of dinosaur world, the T-Rex. Ben had his hand on your shoulder while Matt cheered on Kylo with quiet cheers. "Left Left Left!" You stated loudly and Kylo pointed his gun and shot. That was it. The machine rattled and roared as the T-Rex fell and the credits began to roll. Ben and Matt cheered loudly as you and Kylo kept watching the screen. As the high scores came up, your score traveled up the screen and a small tune played through the speakers as you and Kylo took the lead! "Oh wait quick quick!" You pulled out your phone as Kylo put your first initial, and "&" symbol, and then a K to finish it off. You pulled the man close to you by his shoulder and smiled brightly. Kylo didn't really give a full smile, but a little half one as you snapped the photo. You pulled it back and showed it to him.

° "Very nice, you look cute," Kylo spoke simply before taking your phone from your fingers delicately and you watched over his shoulder as you sent the photo to what you could assume was his phone number before he handed your phone back. You usually would have said atleast something to the fact that he just grabbed your phone without asking, but you were honestly a little confused. He just called you cute, right? Or at least, that you looked cute? Weird. You showed the picture to Ben and he said that you did look pretty cute but that was pretty much par for Ben. "Send it to me so I can send it to mom!" Ben said and you looked a little offended.

° "Excuse me, Ben, I can send it to Miss Organa my damn self. She gave me her number before we left!" You teased, but you still sent it to him anyway. Ben had a thing for pictures. Capturing a moment to have forever. You climbed out of the jeep, Kylo doing the same before he turned to his brothers and pulled them over. You assumed it was to say goodbye for the night. You waved goodbye to Kylo as he turned to leave and he gave a small goodbye as well. Matt smiled and explained he better get heading out too, before asking if he could have half of the half of pizza you had left. You grabbed him a box and packed it for him while he put on his shoes. "Oh, Matt let me get your number, we can go get coffee or something soon," you stated with a smile as you saw that pink blush spread across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose once again.

°"O-okay," he stated, smiling back and he said his number to you before waving goodbye to you and Ben and heading out with his pizza in tow. As soon as he walked out the door, Ben leaned over and rested his head on top of yours, sighing softly.

° "That went pretty well," you stated gently, raising your hand and scratching his head before running fingers through his hair gently before feeling him nod. "They like you. Kylo just told me not to scare you away," he laughed, standing up straight and moving over to your table. "Want to go back on the rink one more time before we go?" He asked and smiled as you nodded happily. Both of you pulled on your skates and headed back to the rink. You two had your pinky fingers linked as you skated around the rink, talking warmly before Ben came in for a hug. These weren't exactly a rare occurrence, Ben was a touchy-feely kind of guy and loved physical contact. But sometimes when he went in for those long hugs, those that meant something to him. And after getting a few of them by this time in your friendship, you took them seriously and always hugged him tightly back. He rested his face into your hair, just purely relaxed. "Thank you for coming tonight, Y/N. I really appreciate it." He stated sincerely. You smiled against him and nodded happily warm in his embrace.