#i'll probs switch to docs at some point

[dreamerfms]

[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed { YASMIN DUBOIS } walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who { SHE/HER } is ? they kind of look like { SAVANNAH LEE SMITH } and i could be wrong but i think that they might be { 26 } years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last { THREE YEARS }. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of { MARISSA COOPER } from { THE OC }. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at { HEIGHTS COMMUNITY CENTER } as a { COMMUNITY OUTREACH LEADER }. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the { EVOLVED IT GIRL } of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty { COMPLEX } at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty { EMPATHETIC } to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that { TWO ROOM } apartment beside me over in { SPRING STREET }.

full name : yasmin dubois. birthplace : scarsdale, new york. date of birth : march 30th. parentage : vanessa dubois ( nee brooks, adoptive ) & malcom dubois ( adoptive ) imani brooks ( biological mother ) sibling(s) : everett dubois. technically two others. occupation : community outreach leader ( runs a foodbank, organizes charity drives, provides financial aid for people in need, etc. ) relationship status : single. gender identity : cis female ( she/her ) sexual orientation : bisexual. faceclaim : savannah lee smith.

BACKGROUND

triggers include : infertility, adoption, teen pregnancy, borderline drug & alcohol abuse / addiction.

yasmin was born in scarsdale, new york, to a teenage mother with her whole life ahead of her. unable to provide the life she wanted for her daughter ( and still craving life for herself ) , the young mother agreed to let yasmin be adopted by her older sister, who had struggled with infertility for several years despite desperately wanting to start a family. yasmin’s adoptive parents were rising stars in the tech world, innovators and leaders who gave her a privileged childhood. for the first eight years of her life, yasmin was the centre of their universe. though her parents were busy, they spent every spare moment with her. traveling the world, encouraging her multiple interests, enrolling her in every club she showed even the slightest curiosity in. she was happy, loved. felt safe and secure. given room to flourish. then a miracle happened, and her adoptive mother fell pregnant after years of endless negatives and being told the chances were slim. even before the birth of her brother, yasmin could feel the shift. moved into the smaller room because her brother would need more space, achievements met with a shrug as if nothing to be excited about. affection dwindling by the day. the moment her brother was born, yasmin became a ghost in her own home. practically invisible. she did everything she could to be seen. excelled in school, played the role of the perfect daughter. but nothing was ever enough. she'd never be everett. she'd never really be theirs. at the age of eighteen, while packing for college, yasmin discovered adoption papers hidden in her mother's office. the truth was finally revealed. her parents were not her parents; her aunt had given birth to her and then given her up. that realization, combined with the growing negativity in their home, sent yasmin into a downward spiral. her lifestyle became reckless. she embraced the chaos with nightly parties, substance abuse, and a reputation as the troubled it girl. college was supposed to be the best time of her life, and instead she was fostering bad habits and barley making it through. it wasn’t until she hit rock bottom that she began to revaluate her life. knew she wanted to be better, do something that would make a change. at twenty-three, searching for purpose, yasmin moved to palmview, florida, a place filled with childhood memories from family vacations spent at their vacation home by the beach. using part of her trust fund, she founded a community outreach program at the local community centre. she set up a food bank, organized regular charity drives and provided financial aid to people facing medical hardships. despite having found a sense or purpose and a way to give back, yasmin still struggles with trust and her sense of belonging. every now and then, the wild child resurfaces, never really gone. one bad day away from slipping up. but she's trying. oh god, she's really trying. upon first meeting, yasmin can appear rather cold and guarded. over the course of her life, there's been many betrayals, starting with her family but also in the form of fake friends. she's fiercely independent, and wants to use her privilege to make a real change. some people still question her, but it only fuels her further to prove people wrong.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

the reluctant confidant - someone she's reluctantly let in, who knows about some of her struggles. maybe they caught her on a bad day, or maybe she revelled herself during a drunken night out. either way, they seem persistent in being there. - taken by archie. the reoccurring summer fling - she summered in palmview every year, this is someone she met in her late teens, and in some ways could be considered her first real romance. a whirlwind, but being so young and unsure of who they really were, it was also toxic. yet, each summer, they'd come back together. breaking their hearts each and every summers end. - taken by emma. the frenemy with underlaying attraction ( f ) - they like to think they're so different, but they have a lot more in common than they realize. a spark from the moment they met, and while most assume it to be competitiveness, there might be more to it than that. judging a book - they've never quite taken to her, and maybe it's because they have always seemed worlds apart. they assume her to be some kind of way because of her background and reputation that won't let her be. maybe they figure it out along the way, or maybe some people just aren't meant to mix. fuels the wild side - during her most reckless years, this friend was both an enabler and a mirror to wild side. they thrived on the chaos together. many late-night parties and blurred boundaries. their bond was intense and intoxicating, and in a lot of ways, bad for them both. their friendship is strained now, but it's a reminder of a past she ( or both ) can't fully let go of. a moth to a flame - an instant connection, bred from a single glance. sometimes you meet someone and something just feels right. except the timing is all wrong. every glance lasts a second too long, every touch feels like a secret. they avoid each other because it’s safer that way. because getting close feels like a risk neither can afford. and yet, something always pulls them together. anything and everything. friends from college, friends ( or enemies ) she made during summers, a past fwb when she first came to live here full time, soon fizzling out because she was in such fragile time of her life. people who help with the community work would be great also !! someone she met at an addict on meeting, only to never return, convincing herself there was no problem.

ESTABLISHED

tba.

[studentbyday]

hello, i drafted an aesthetic studyblr post for today, but didn't feel like posting it bc today is an ugly rant kind of day. (more kermits under the cut)

AAAAHHHHHH STUPID FREAKING WINDOWS- 😩😫😭🤬🤬🤬 so i was working on my laptop for these past few days which uses a different ms office version from the computer i switched to today and all my work was LOST!! 😭😭 all the notes i took on OneNote (at least it was just the psyc notes i had done on the laptop - idk what i would do if biochem or mol bio notes were lost. i'd probably cry for real) and all the work i did on that biochem paper? GONE!! my brother uses LibreOffice so i finally switched to that (altho their UI isn't that nice). at this point, i might as well switch to linux (unless that would cause unforeseen problems if i still sometimes do work on windows? idk) 😅 any recs for free notes apps that have a small learning curve and are OneNote-like?

the STRANGEST part is, some of the notes and lost files came back as i was working?? i didn't do anything and i *swear* i wasn't seeing things, so like, WTF??? not that i'm complaining. i hope the entire week of psyc notes i lost comes back. if not, i'll probs rewrite them if i have time. i hope i have time. i really hate this.

also, good thing i didn't like the way i wrote the biochem paper so far. i rewrote the thing in a google doc instead just to be safe and i like the way it flows much better now. AND!!! it's super annoying that i had to do this, but my handwritten notes on the main article i'm basing my paper on were confusing me. like, in terms of the flow of the biochemistry. so i basically rewrote those notes, doing this huge web in paint and idk if i could've done that on the first read instead of the way i did it. i hate feeling like i've done double work.

after rewriting the paper (i'm not even done yet - there are several things i wanna add yet and some facts i wanna clarify) and my notes on the article for said paper, i was exhausted. i tried to switch gears by reading the instructions/background for the biochem discussion post due tmr (that i was supposed to write today 😒) but i don't get it. it's like i didn't cover lipoproteins at all! i don't remember anything! what am i here* for if i can't remember anything?!

update: i answered 1 question for the discussion post. i still have to answer 1 more but i need to finish reading the background info first.

ALSO! i was supposed to study for 6+ hours today. i have no idea how long i actually studied bc i kept stopping and starting the study with me video and i worked through the breaks anyway, so the dinging timers were just annoying.

*"here" as in at uni, studying, although if in the right mood, it could also expand to my entire existence 🙂 (luckily i'm too angry rn to feel philosophical 😒)

okay, let's try not to end so sour. good things that happened today:

physio exercises ✅

skincare ✅ (i have added lip balm to the list asides from lotion bc the chapped state hurts 🙁)

mol bio quiz ✅

journal ✅

tomorrow will be better. and if it doesn't start out right, imma fight it until it is and i won't be defeated 😠

[heartfucksmouth]

So, I've been up since 530 this morning and everything is weird today. Might have had too much coffee but I just got up from the kitchen table and I got a sharp pain in my chest that I've never experienced before - it definitely felt like my heart?

It was to the left in a spot I've never felt. It went away pretty quick, but I stood there for a minute with my hand over the spot. My heart rate is in the 70s, which is actually pretty low?? for me??

Idk. Was just strange enough to note somewhere. I never know when to take anything seriously anymore with my EDS diagnosis and none of my doctors want to be my "home base" so to speak. My PCP obv wouldnt mind, she is helpful, but she is by no means an expert on EDS at all and I dont have a lot of energy to be doing research for her (she is at a community health center so they are jammed with low income/no income patients, I imagine my load of health issues is NOT ideal for her). I specifically switched to the rheum I'm seeing bc another EDSer referred me and said she was great, but uh, so far the rheum has been pretty low contact and my last appointment she seemed to not know what to do with me either. Which, at some point I do get bc rheum is a specialty and doesnt encompass a whole disease but wtf, there is NOTHING like that! There is one EDS specialty doc that I know of, in fucking Maryland. I cannot afford that. Not even once.

I just really have trouble keeping all my symptoms/comorbidities tracked and where I am in treatment, and which doctor I've called and which test I need to call for pre approval, which test the doc will call me about and which test results o have to call THEM about. Like. What the fuck.

For instance - I just found out, I was supposed to call my rheumatologist for my hip MRI results. They werent gonna call me. That shit was done like a week before Thanksgiving. Thanks for that. Guess I'll call tomorrow to find out what the fuck they saw, since my ortho didn't see much with his short glance at the images.

Like, I'm having severe memory issues??? That I prob need to mention to a doctor. And they expect me to be able to manage all of this on my own. Right. Thanks.