#i'm feeling the ~ vibes ~ 2day ok

[apcthetics]

closed starter for GISELLE ( @overwhlcmed​​ ) location: jackson’s apartment… night time… chilly outside 🙂

˖ ✧ ★ ────────────   IT WAS DIFFICULT TO RECONCILE WITH THE IDEA THAT GISELLE HAD BEEN BACK IN HIS LIFE FOR A LITTLE OVER A YEAR NOW. it simultaneously felt like he had never left, and yet like it had only been a few weeks since she’d approached him in the corridors of her office building and he’d left more scars on her heart. things had changed, drastically, since last christmas, but they also felt exactly the same. the boundary line had shifted– away from the shy glances and soft touches that had constituted an uncertain something before, and instead towards the witty quips and easygoing closeness that defined a comfortable something now– but it was still there. despite the cracks that had formed, allowing them both to see between the bricks of the walls around his heart, they were still standing. the ghosts of the past still haunted them– from stanford to their reconciliation to the apology text message lighting up his phone on his birthday. the guilt stayed firm, keeping him from letting go entirely. it reminded him that no matter how perfect the moments seemed, HE wasn’t. his jagged edges could be covered with cloth for the time being, but it was only a matter of time before he mishandled them and accidentally cut her open in the process. 

        his resolve was crumbling, though ; the comfort with his solitude was like a long dead civilization. the longer they lived in this blissful false reality they had created, the easier it was for jackson to believe that the ghosts clinging to his shoulders could be shaken off. his past didn’t matter. the person he was, the people they were, didn’t matter. what mattered was this moment– watching giselle as she worked at stringing up a single strand of christmas lights around his kitchen window, his chin resting against his knuckles and the untouched tea now cold on the table in front of him. she hadn’t done much, just the lights and a stocking for dutchess hanging up behind the door ( something giselle insisted on for her, not him ), but it was more than jackson might have relented for anybody else. despite his complaints, looking at it now, they looked nice– though it was more than just the aesthetics. it was a reminder that he wasn’t entirely alone this year, that while last year she had only been comfortable decorating her space, this year things were better. maybe time did heal old wounds. his gaze only shifted away from giselle when duchess came barreling into the room, skittering across the fake tiles after the end of the wires that were dangling around giselle’s legs. it was then that he pulled himself from his half-asleep, dreamy daze and made any effort to move. 

       shifting from his seat, he picked her up from the floor, before dropping the little white cat onto the kitchen table. she offered him only a meow of protest, before her attention shifted towards hunting a pencil that was hiding in between the piles of books and screws and half-finished coffee mugs. jackson turned his own towards giselle. trying to stifle a yawn, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hindering her movement entirely ; then he rested his chin against the crown of her head, and squinted at the new decoration ( probably the first new thing to enter the apartment since he had moved in. ) “ what is it about the sparkly little lights that say ‘ christ ‘ for people ? “ he questioned suddenly, raising one of his hands to gesture towards the lights. there was a sureness now in the way he crossed into her personal space ; although he was still poised to run like a startled animal, it was leaps and bounds from where they had been at this point a year ago : afraid that eyes lingering too long was crossing a boundary that they hadn’t discussed. now the way she leaned back into him felt comfortable, natural. in the quiet of his own apartment, there was no need for warning sirens. he was content to just be with her– no complications needed. “ granted– i’ve never read the bible, but i have a feeling that john, peter, mark and paul would not have included these on their list of birthday decorations for babies. sheep, though ? that was a necessity. “

[mcschnuggles]

Idk if itll help (saw u were feelin anxious/sad) but! Hugs! *Gives u mint chocolate muffin I made yesterday* Am feelin kinda anxious myself rn, have a overnight sleep study 2day & am Not lookin forward 2 it, sensory wise. Lotta stuff gonna b stuck 2 me. :( But Im gonna read sum of ur fics 4 a bedtime story probly! :) Also have 2 watch smth scary 2morrow cuz I might have cataplexy & I need 2 b startled so they can tell, & I do Not do scary v well, but! Hope u feel ok! <3 -MoominsAnon

!!! that sounds so good! I've never had a mint chocolate muffin before but now i really wanna try one :0

I hope everything goes well with your sleep study!! that sounds scary so i'm sending you good vibes! let me know how everything goes, okay? <333