#i'm getting coal from daddy winter after this

[ethicaltreatmentofcowplants]

LILAC: (AH, PEACE AND QUIET) SALIM'S LATEST WOO HOO PARTY SEEMS TO BE OVER AND PLAYER IS DISTRACTED WITH HER 101 OTHER SAVES, SO SHE'S FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT ME...

LILAC'S PHONE: *RINGS*

LILAC: *SPIES THE NUMBER* *SHOUTS FORBIDDEN WORDS*

LILAC: LOOK, WHAT THE DUCK DO YOU WANT THIS TIME?

HAYLEY: SO, I HAVE THIS IDEA-

LILAC: NO YOU DON'T

HAYLEY: OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT, MYTHICAL FAMILY PLAYTHROUGH-

LILAC: NO

HAYLEY: COMBINING A GREGNANCY, FOR SCIENCE, SO NO EXTRA WORK FOR YOU-

LILAC: 'NO EXTRA WORK'? LISTEN HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DUCKING KID, YOU DEMISEXUAL GINGER SLOTH

HAYLEY: YEAH, GINGER. SO WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT I HAVE NO SOUL. BUT THIS TIME AROUND I'VE GIVEN YOU THE 'STEEL BLADDER' TRAIT. AND I PROMISE THAT I'LL USE MONEY CHEATS...

LILAC: OKAY...

HAYLEY: ...SINCE WE'LL ALSO BE DOING A PLAYTHROUGH OF THE STRANGERVILLE STORYLINE, SO THAT WILL BE OUR MAIN FOCUS

LILAC: *SHOUTS MORE FORBIDDEN WORDS*

LILAC: LOOK, CAN I BE IN THE 'NICE' SAVE FILE, JUST THIS ONCE? THE 'HEAD EMPTY, ONLY WEREWOLVES' SAVE FILE WHERE EVERYONE JOINS THE MOONWOOD COLLECTIVE AND FINDS THEIR FATED MATE AND LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER WHILE THEY KNIT BABY ONESIES AND JUNK? HAVEN'T ME AND MY [REDACTED] STRETCH MARKS EARNED IT?

HAYLEY: LILAC, SEE-

LILAC: OH SHUT UP, YOU VERTICALLY CHALLENGED DUCKING HOBBIT. IT'S SUCH A JOKE HOW EVERYONE AWAY FROM SIMBLR JUST THINKS YOU'RE SOOO KIND AND NICE. 'OH, HAYLEY THE FAIR FASHION ADVOCATE...' 'OH, HAYLEY WHO GIFTS PEOPLE STREAM MEMBERSHIPS JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE HAVING A BAD DAY...' 'OH, HAYLEY WHO BOUGHT A MINCE PIE THAT ONE TIME FOR A SCHOOL BOY BECAUSE HE'D BEEN WAITING SO PATIENTLY IN LINE BEHIND HER...' I SWEAR TO THE PLUMBOB THAT ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO BREAK FREE AND EXPOSE YOU FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE

HAYLEY: ...

HAYLEY: OKAY BUT FIRST, CHALLENGE?

LILAC: *UNALIVES ME WITH HER EYES*

HAYLEY: THIS TIME AROUND, IT WILL BE DIFFERENT. I'VE CHANGED, I SWEAR. I'LL HAVE @sims4thehoes WATCHING ME, AND THE BLOG WILL HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE, IF ONLY TO MYSELF

LILAC: HMM...

HAYLEY: AND IF I DON'T FINISH THE CHALLENGE, I'LL ADD YOU TO THE 'NICE' SAVE FILE AND YOU GET TO SAY 'I TOLD YOU SO?'

LILAC: IF YOU DON'T FINISH THE CHALLENGE, I'LL GET AES TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND SQUAT ON YOUR CHEST LIKE SOME KIND OF DEMENTED SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON, AND NOT IN A SEXY WAY

HAYLEY: ... DEAL

LILAC: *HANGS UP* *WOULD HAVE SLAMMED DOWN THE RECEIVER IF THAT WAS A THING YOU COULD DO WITH SMART PHONES* *STORMS OFF*

HAYLEY: (I AM DOOMED, SO DOOMED)

[msshadows97]

Santa Clauses S2 E5 spoilers:

I will say watching deadpool 2, then immediately watching The Santa Clauses is such a shift.

Anyways, spoilers are below for episode 5

We love daddy issues Kriss

BETTY!

Tim Allen is coming up with every excuse not to wear the fat suit.

YASSSS "look into my eyes What's do you see" "It's cold and its dark" that's the line from the second clause!

BETTY'S BACK!

Couple goals

Noooo, Betty, no leaving!

Being head elf must come with magic sass

Cal loving Riley ears is just so I grew in the north pole of him

Olga is me on a mental level

Will we ever get a like in-depth explanation of Claus magic powers? Seeing visions?

Mad santa started naughty coal, bet the poor families in the winter were actually thankful

Cal is talking to the reindeer, but still no Chet

Bernard acting like a head elf even before being head elf, honestly expecting nothing else.

The CIA elfs make me so happy.

"Being banished to the wobbly woods forever" that is the last line in the Elf Clause. Any elf that goes against Santa get banished

I want to know what Edie did to be above Gary. I do respect that Olga wants to maim Gary more than Santa scott. (Also, now I finished the fact that Betty is after Toots is impressive considering what she did)

STOP...... oh my god, I hate it. Scott is getting his powers back but facial hair first. I agree Carol he's about to sell me something. Or looks like the mayor of monopoly.

Betty and I think the same thoughts apparently because she just said what I just wrote (I'm pausing to write my thoughts)

I'm sorry I can't take this seriously

LA befana really out here being like, "Here's something to kill the bastard but it wasn't me"

I also agree she is a legendary figure? Yes, I know she's known in Italy and even celebrated down there still, but I didn't even know her till doing my own research who this christmas witch was. Then again, she's a legend in Italy, sooo. Does that mean mothman exists or Bigfoot?

Me too, emotional moments make me scared, too

....

....

....

She turned the easterbunny into a lemon

WeLl wHeN LiFe GiVeS YoU LeMoNs

Sandra, you don't speak fruit? I thought you had the internet up there.

They are closing the vortexes, and Cal is flying the sleigh

Elfs fighting with kazoos is my Romain Empire. I also feel like they played the kazoo kid song

I want to know the legendary figure legal department because who even writes these clauses?

I feel like mixing that much legendary figure magic is not a good thing, oh my god.

Hahahahha *removes mask* gasp it's you! Dude you don't even know her name, you can even get your head elfs name right.

Oh my god, I just need to watch the show and stop pausing because the next thing he said is that.

Noel being a simp

HAHHAHAHA Noel is now cannon "not bernard"

"Legendaries have no power against other legendaries." HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ALREADY SANTA USING SANDMANS OWN SAND ON HIM. That it's my only peace of mind is sandman sand didn't actually affect him he just wanted an excuse to sleep.

And the fat suit back.

Cal your two brain cells are fighting for Dominance

Cal turning into a therapist someone get Neil!

Ha he called 911

HAHAHA he ripped it. Again, I want to know who writes these clauses. ALSO, COULD HE HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIME?!?!(I doubt Bernard would of let him)

That's some strong ducktape

NOOOOOOO Cal! I was starting to like the golden retriever

Scott and Carol are also couple goals

And she has a bazooka

And of course, it ends like that. Time to wait another week.

So thoughts?

Season 2, so far, has been better than season 1, as season 1 felt like a rewrite of the 3rd movie. This second season is bringing back reference to the movies. With Judy, Jack frost, carols eyes of darkness, etc. Cal is finally finding his footing, and Sandra is coming into her own. Hopefully, Scott finally opens his damn eyes to his children for once and sees that Cal wants to be his own person. Maybe only do Santa part-time instead of just taking over completely. See you all for episode 6.

[whiteswarm-archived]

Artica’s Quotes

Champion Selection Ice Magic can be as light as a butterfly and pungent like a swarm of wasps

Ban Ice Magic can- ah no, wait…

Starting game (Summoners Rift) I have an iron will, four wings and an endless amount of ice. And I’m not afraid to use them I am here to remind the world that we exist If we win, I cook for everyone! Artica Neivers, at your service! And it is pronounced Neevehrs.

(Howling Abyss) Home Sweet Home Ooooh yeah. That’s more like it GIGI! GIGIII! ARE YOU THERE??

(Twisted Treeline) I don’t like this. At all I'm… cold? It can’t be… This land is dead. Starting a game with Ally Anivia Let’s go, teacher! I wonder how you were as a chick I will make you proud! Can I ride you? No? Fiiiine…

Azir Teacher, your lessons won’t be wasted. I’m so happy to see you again, Azir! Greetings! You got spare daters? Pleeeeease?

Illaoi AAAAAA! AUNTIE!! Get the coal ready, after the battle: Barbecue! How about you give me some advice about flirting with good looking people? I will show you motion!

Nasus You educated me, I will never thank you enough Shurima has a lot to offer, and I will make sure the world knows. Greetings! I’m borrowing books later, teehee

Lissandra Is this a joke? Can I switch team? This changes nothing. Stay away, Witch.

Rakan/Xayah Oh no. The birds who can’t fly… Great Curse this bad luck Dance, rebellion, cause, blah blah blah, yeah I know this rigmarole.

Attack I don’t want to do this, but you leave me no choice. I won’t stay here doing nothing For the Isøll. You can’t stop a storm! Cold can be a relief, and deadly. I’m more of a dialogue person, but for you I’ll make an exception Are you ice proof? Storm be it! My soul is one thousand snowflakes! Do you like highlander style? Start running I’m an avalanche! Bad mood today. Want to be annoyed? Here it comes! No damsel in distress, sorry! Pray you won’t loose a limb! I’m all out of pacifism You stepped out of the line! Winter is coming! Troid! (Fight!) This is Ice Music! A cretin after another Damhsa leis an sneachta! (Dance with the snow!) You will need a three hours hot bath! Move! Listen! Ice is part of me! Fight! Éist leis an amhrán sliabh! (Listen to the Mountain Song!) Mountains don’t forgive cheaters I won’t give up! Move those legs! Take this! Try and stop me! Attack: Dragon I’m sorry I have to fight this creature… Give us your strength I will give it back, I promise I want to fly as fast as dragons

Attack: Vilemaw EWW! SPIDER! GROSS! YOU MUST DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIIIE!!!! I. Hate. Spiders. Attack: Baron Nashor Oh dear… What nightmare do you come from?! Ew, what did you eat? Dead rats? Ewww! It’s slimy!

 Movement Family isn’t only a blood thing The Ice Witch poisoned the Mountains, I am the antidote Everyone forgot, I’ll make them remember My wings won’t be cut Freedom is the greatest good. The IsØll will soar into the skies once again I have cold in my blood, not in my soul Artica hums The world is so big Vastaya? Humans? We’re all’brothers My family is… Pretty big Ice isn’t synonym with death My fight is just a part of the journey I have so much to ask my mother I’m the living example that Vastaya and Humans can co-exist Every step, wings fluttering, wave I sailed… I remember everything Cryomancer, voyager and writer, what a busy life. When ice turns blue from black, it’s beautiful They say I’m a fool and a traitor, they know nothing. They call me Mu’Takl, and they act like those they hate. The Beldam didn’t checked for hybrid children, that was her mistake. I don’t have one country! I’m a bit Freljordian, a bit Shuriman and a bit from Buhru! City folk are so boring When it’s all done, I want to open my own Inn and write novels. I GOT IT! I can teach Freljordian children to read and write! One step at a time Is féidir liom é a dhéanamh. Caithfidh mé é a dhéanamh… (I can do it. I have to do it) Lowlanders definitely need a week of tilling the soil I’m not dressed like a man! It’s an highlander outfit! Treoir dom, Daidí… (Guide me, Daddy) Dresses are the ultimate evil Nobody expects the wings! The tattoos on my wings are from my two other homes Coinnigh ar aghaidh, Mamaí… (Hold on, Mommy) I have to fix the shirt’s buckles I’ll finish here and then I’ll go cook Haggis with Aunt Arianna! Better if you don’t know what Haggis is. I will free them I’m in the mood for warm cider with cinnamon Are there apples in this forest? Actually I love spring and summer, but hate autumn. My wings get all wet.

Movement: River Nice and fresh! If everyone wouldn’t walk here, I’d take a sip! Awww ther’s Scuttle’s little footprints! That fruit looks good, I can make a pie of it! I’ll take it to Safie Would Scuttle and Gigi get along? Always loved to jump in puddles! Who cares about mud! I could freeze it and skate!

Death AGH! No… Mom forgive me! AAGH! I… I failed UGH! Not… Fair Wha… Daddy? Is that you? Death by: Lissandra Don’t celebrate! Someone will finish my mission Curse you! Someday you’ll be taken down! Sejuani You condemned everyone! YOU MAD WOMAN! MURDERER! You’re the weak one!

Thresh EEEEK! I’M BURNING! These screams…!! MY HEAD’S EXPLODING! NO NO! HELP! EEEEEEEEEK!!

Rakan/Xayah You condemned your Freljordian brothers! Who’s the Mu’Takl now?! You are blind and you’ll always be! Dúnmharraithe!! (Murderers!!)

Respawn Now i get why Mom fell for Dad, haha! What do you say Death? Not today! Seeing my Dad was great, but I still got a lot to do HA! You wished I died for good, heh? Taunt I will put you in the “Imbeciles I met” section of my biography. You’re about to witness a painful butterfly effect I’m not here to play, get lost If you don’t want to be blown away, move aside Your mom should have spanked you more. I’m an highlander, grew up with earth’s fruit, hoe in my hands and the bagpipe’s music! I don’t have all day, what do you want from me??

Ahri Don’t let others tell you what you have to be What you did doesn’t count, what really does is what you’ll do! I can bring you everywhere, explain what you want, just whistle!

Ashe I’m not a threat, trust me My people can help Let me show you the truth

Anivia Anger is bad, I know… But keeping pain inside more I wish I could bring back my father, but I can’t I always moved forward, and I will keep on moving forward

Azir Be what your people needs I trust you, don’t screw it all up You’re the best emperor so far, be sure to keep being it.

Demacians Why fearing world’s nature? Having magic powers isn’t a curse, but a gift You’re the home of the right, but you silence who’s not “normal” Between Noxus and Demacia, I don’t know which is worse.

Graves/Twisted Fate Teehee, I think “Cat cats us” am I right? Even Illaoi thinks it, come on!

Illaoi I already passed the test, don’t want to repeat it Oh come on! A barbecue and everything will go juuust fine Don’t make me take back the apple pie promise!

Lissandra Who rejects family for evil powers doesn’t deserve life! You horrible, murderous wretch, you’re just a puppet in the hands of others! You think the Watchers even give a damn about you? I will eradicate your corruption from the Freljord! Your mistake was non checking for hybrid babies Nami Hello, boat mate! Watch out, Nami! Ice is just frozen water If the crow and the chicken insult you… call me.

Nasus Of cooourse I practiced, I wrote a diary! I’m almost sorry for the future scribes! I will teach you my Freljordian dialect, we shall see then!

Noxians You owe me a boat, animals! You’re not men, you’re beasts! You disgust me, murderers!

Ornn You haven’t forgot, thank you Teach me to forge! I will bring you pies. Pleeeeeeeease teach me to forge! I’ll be silent! Rakan You call it dance, I call it “Desperate case of self obsession” Calm your feathers, plucked peacock! Don’t try it, you’re engaged. You never danced in the Freljord You should dance atop of a stormy mountain, then we shall see! If we don’t cooperate, everything is going to end! My cape is simple, but can do much more than yours!

Rengar You showed the bastard who’s boss, great job Brute strength can’t do much against black ice I’m not your prey, Rengar

Sejuani Nice bola! How does it fight someone who flies? You have ice in the soul! I don’t want the Throne of the Freljord! I want my people free! And to kick your ass

Star Guardians Sooo, to guard the world you’re supposed to be filled with sparkles? What is the use of breast emphasizing clothes? I wonder if Gigi counts as a magic animal…

Trundle You bargained your life for a club of True Ice… What the F*ck is wrong with you? I knew Trolls were dumb, but man, you beat them all! The Witch will throw you away like garbage!

Xayah I have my cause, you have yours, don’t get in my way Insult me all you want. But never. My. Mother You’re not a rebel, just a reckless guerrilla! I’m just trying to save my land and the world from an eternal Ice Age… Nothing important. You’re blind just like the humans you hate You care about Vastaya’s freedom? Then help me! I may not speak Vastaya, but I can fly… hehe…

Wukong I will fly you around, you don’t fear heights, do ya? Your eyes are open, much more than other Vastayans. Aunt Arianna would like you but she’d say you’re too thin

Taunt Response What did you call my mother?! Wow. I’m shaking. I don’t have time to stick with you and break my non-existing balls. Comes in an antennae and gets out from the other Shut up. It will give you some decency Oh heavens, what do I have to hear? Heard worse. What did I even do to you? Who are you!? What do you want from me?? An ice spike is about to strike in your privates. Where’s the good pan when I need it?! I would shove spoonful of Haggis in your mouth just to tell you what it is and see you vomit!

Joke (Artica grows her fur with a puff sound) Wanna see something cute? *Puff* TADAA! Hey check this out! *Puff* I’m FLUFFY!!

Joke response Didn’t get it I don’t know you. HAHA! Nice one! You have a future as a comic! Uhmm… Ok?

Killing May your soul be at peace I’m sorry I hate killing. Killing is always horrible You kill only for feeding or not to be eaten, not for hating If everyone would follow my Uncle Brendan’s philosophy, the world would be better May Avarosa take you in her realm I will like killing someone only when this someone shall be the Witch

Killing: Friend/Ally

NO! What have I done! (Artica bursts in tears) I didn’t mean to! (crying) Please! Forgive me! (crying) (sobbing) Sos sa tsíocháin (Rest in peace) Slán, logh dom (Farewell, forgive me)

Elise You’re the spider, I’m the frost! And the moth cheated the spider Did I mention I hate spiders?

Lissandra Justice is made I can’t hear the Watchers crying. You will never deceive anymore

Sejuani You won’t hurt anyone ever again! This is for my village! Roasted boar tonight.

Rakan In the end, my dance won over yours! You didn’t kept up! I hope dad kicks your ass in the afterlife This is for calling me a frigid

Trundle King? Just a marionette. She’ll replace you You were already dead when you sided with the Witch

Xayah This is for insulting my mother *Sigh* I will finish what you started, but will do it my way Say hello to my dad from me Dad’s gonna spank you in the afterlife

Tower Ice breaks everything I can’t hear much though Just a statue

Howling abyss tower I hear it! Ice magic is free! A little step, for something big!

Destroying ward Nope! BOO! Haha! They won’t get close! Gotcha! A little advantage for me! Spy this! Shoo, little spy eye! Pentakill I… overdid it Hey, they were gonna kill me! It wasn’t me! That snow? Not mine.

Dancing next to Azir This is our battle dance! I beat you in this! North dance!

Braum AHA! You got the mountain beat inside! Keep it up, grandpa! That’s the spirit! Illaoi Nice motion, eh? YARR HARR! I dance with the sea too!

Rakan Watch and learn! Can you do this? EH?? EEHH? This is dancing! Xayah You got a lot to learn Poor Freljordian moves, huh? I dance with the wind and the snow!

Buying Hello merchant! What nice stuff do you have today? By Avarosa, this is a theft! Ooooh, nice! A couple sales from time to time? No eh? All that money for this thingy?!? Interesting The village carpenter would made a better work for 30 coins, really. You obtained it legally… Right? Perfect! I don’t have a short arm! I don’t wanna waste money!

Buying Shoes TAKE THEM OFF. I HATE THEM Why do I need shoes to go faster?! I haven’t wore shoes in years… Save me. Oh no, my toes ripped the front. “Why do you walk barefoot?” They say. It’s because shoes hurt as f*ck!

Recall

Be back later And we fly! Behave, or I will smack you with a frying pan Fixing two things, be right back! Actually I’m having a snack… Or Aunt’s gonna think I’m too thin

Skills

Q Come here! Didn’t give you permission! Where you going?! Get back here!

W Aha! Look up, you balbh (idiot) From the skies to the ground! Aaaaaaaand here I am!

E Firm like a mountain, light as the winds! I am free! I am the Mountain, I am the Air, I am the Winter! I am an IsØll! I move, dance, love and sing, I am alive!

R Today the White Swarm shall dance!!

Using Ward Aunt says you must have eyes on the back of your head nowadays You never know… Uhmmm, gonna place you here Do your duty, thingy Hello? Don’t kill me please! Sometimes antennae aren’t enough Extra visibility, I like that!

Using a potion Oooooh, apples It tastes like Uncle’s cider… Remembers me of the pies me and Safie bake Tastes like home.

Feeding Poro Eat up, you’re scrawny! Not Gigi, but I won’t let you starve! Who’s a cute ball of cuddles and love? You are! Yes, you are! I wanna adopt them all!