#i'm lonely all the time. my dorm roommates don't give a shit about me. my brothers don't care either. everything's difficult in my family

[humbleanger]

wishing it was all different but also not having the means or the bravery to change anything

[futurequibblerjournalist]

I mean this in like,,,,,, such a good way but wtAf is crownest?? Lol agggghhh you're so creative!!!!!!!! You've put SO much thought into like,, everyone lol it's so cool!!! I really really really really don't wanna spamm but I can't get enough of your hcs!!! Um um ummmm yea I'd really like to hear about crownest and emof@gg0t lol uh censoring just in case ykkk um but I loved Avery!!!!!!!! He's so silly/pos

Idk the way you describe everyone makes them feel like actual characters yk and like,,,,,,,, idk I've never heard of these but I would be really interested in like how u think like all these characters and ships n stuff work Aggghh I just love ur interpretations!!

SUPER long anon, sosososo sorry

-🍃

Oh my god I've been trying to answer this for so long my beloved weed anon but idk what's happened, my inbox has exploded jngjbngjb (I am beyond thankful, love love love all the questions vjfnbjg)

Crownest is Severus and Igor! I talked a bit about those two being stupid exes and Igor running around following Severus in Goblet of Fire (he's both trying to confide in him because Severus is one of the few people Igor trusts but also cause he's trying to get his dick wet). Severus gets assigned as Igor's roommate and general aid when he spends his last year abroad at Hogwarts and Severus hates it because Igor is clingy and yet he's a complete dorm dweller and he's clever but at the same time he's so fucking stupid. Igor struggles because of the language barrier and he's refusing to use the translator he's been made to bring along from Durmstrang. They're sort of friends who wouldn't really be friends under many other circumstances but losers gotta stick together I guess

Idk where in the timeline this happens but they start fucking around at some point. I don't think they're ever boyfriends or anything labelled, they're just conveniently fucking whenever they both need to get off. They're just,, in no way good for each other but the sex is good and they're both messy and kinda lonely and they like that it's no strings attached because it genuinely is

Tw: mentions of alcoholism

Then there's emofaggot vjgnbjgnbjg I am actually screaming at the fact that you used that name for them cause it really was just my stupid placeholder name for them. I played around with a few ship names for them but I think I've settled on wiseprince (wise comes from barn owls which is the animal that represents the Avery family like how peacocks represent the Malfoy family)

I'm so glad you liked Edmund,, he really is just,, my silly piece of shit (I know /pos means positive but I just keep reading it as piece of shit and honestly he is a silly piece of shit so it fits vjnfbjgnb)

These two are way more complicated than crownest imo. They've always been close, they've found comfort in each other and in softness they didn't have with other people (I think they got closer each time Severus drifted further away from Lily (I also think it's so funny that Lily canonically references that she's got less of a problem with Edmund than the rest of the group he hangs around with cause like,, yeah he's your ex besties stupid little homophobic boyfriend of course you like him just a smidge more). They've both got parents who struggle with alcohol abuse in varying degrees and with varying outcomes, but at the end of the day they share that feeling of cold running down one's back after smelling alcohol on someone's breath.

Edmund tries to step into Lucius's shoes when he graduates, he gives Severus extra clothes or hand-me-downs, he tries to get him to use the nice shampoos and conditioners he picked out with his mother in Diagon Alley. They bathe together for years just so they can chat more and see no problem with it. They cuddle up on the couch together in front of the fire and that's just what they do. They used to share a dorm along with Mulciber until Severus gets put in charge of, in Edmund's eyes, babysitting Igor. They spent way too many nights in each other's beds, cuddling and reading together, studying, yapping about whatever. Edmund puts curlers in at night and does a way too intricate moisturising routine and Severus just stands behind him, watching him through the mirror and keeping him company.

Through all of this, Edmund is fiercely homophobic and also engaged to an even more fiercely homophobic lesbian who's clocked him since day one. He's in denial and then he's not and then he is again and it's all a mess. Edmund really chose the ugliest fucker out there and was like "yes that's the one I wanna lose my mind over". Honestly, I can't blame his poor fiancé for low-key bullying him

I'm so beyond flattered you love them so much!! I really do try to give them both flaws and more positive sides even if they're a "good"/"bad" person, you know? I'm not a fan of excusing behaviour, most of these characters are shitty people in one way or another but that doesn't mean they've always been like that or that they stay like that or that they're 110% like that all the time!! Most of these are just based off of my own silly little thoughts though I can't take all the credit cause at least some of these were bounced off of a friend vnfjnbjgb

[tropiyas]

now that it's valentine's day, it's time for me to spend 30 minutes writing down my thoughts on love because it's not like i have anyone to spend this time with LOLMAO

how i feel right now? physically: a little unsatisfied with my body/health right now -- which i normally NEVER am. but then again I never let myself go as much as during the initial quarantine/lockdown. + also I just ate so much fried and cheesy food with my roommates yesterday during the superbowl so I feel like shit

BESIDES THAT i am actually feeling pretty okay in terms of my feelings or state of mind compared to how I felt on Valentine's Day 2 years ago:

I watched the Sonic Movie by myself (fun watch ofc) so I came back to my dorm feeling REALLY lonely because I didn't even have friends to invite to see it lol. And so I think I misattribued that to wanting a gf/bf and got tinder/bumble (was on it for a few months, with a tiny amount of likes and even fewer matches) but eventually decided it just wasn't for me. Went on net 2 dates from 2020-2022 and both of them were alright (friendly and polite but nothing really came of them)

BUT ALL THAT TO SAY I didn't/don't really want a partner right now I think I was just lonely as fuck in early college, and now I'm not because I have friends to hang out and spend time with! also I'm working on mingling and socializing more just to meet new people -- this is corny and romantic but I recently realized that i just do like meeting new ppl in general!

what I'm still trying to figure out is whether that's ^ just an inherent life approach I have where being friendly to people makes me feel better abt the world, or if it's subconsciously some sociopathic optimization i'm trying to do like "if i know more people, i'll increase the odds of me finding someone who i love & loves me" which seems selfish and ingenuine so I try not to think about it too much :/

last bit, focusing more on my thoughts on "love" (beyond friend/familial love, I'm fortunate enough to have that in my life)

3 bullets to discuss, on 1) not really feeling Loved/Wanted 2) my reaction to that and 3) how I feel abt loving other people

- growing up I had a decent sense that everyone liked me but nobody LIKE liked me or was interested in me beyond being a friend/acquaintance. i never made any enemies and most people were super nice to me bc I'm polite to them, BUT no one's ever had a crush on me or asked me out and that felt (still feels) kind of abnormal of me looking around at my peers/friends. I guess i'm not conventionally attractive, or something about my personality is just that uninteresting 😔. so somewhere down the line of late high school (after having told 3 ppl i liked them and getting a no each time) I basically came to the conclusion "i'm just nobody's type, I'm fine with being single forever as long as I got friends/family" and I definitely still hold that mentality which is lame and stupid, now that I'm re-reading what i just typed

- despite no one loving me, i've never felt entitled to it and I still don't get how guys get redpilled about it (shoutouts to having a decent family/high school friend group that kept me grounded)

- it's kind of unpredictable when I fall for someone it's happened like 2-3 times BUT despite that i LOVE loving people. Literally when i have a crush on someone, food tastes better, days seem brighter, and everything seems better when I'm around them or thinking abt them and it's honestly a really cool and fun way to enjoy life. it's been a minute since i've last felt that way, maybe the next time it happens in my life it actually lines up and the feelings are mutual (fantasy land)

In conclusion: happy valentine's day to me (i will always love myself) and also everyone who decides to read this (parasocial thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this). maybe next year i'll have someone to give flowers to :P