#i've always been a “wouldn't marry me either pathological people pleaser line is something that was used against her” truther

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

OK so trying to articulate pt. 2 what's been sitting with me re: You're Losing Me especially in light of the track list dropping:

When You're Losing Me came out, I got the feeling that "I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her," came from a place not of desperation/resignation, but spite, at least the portion I bolded. In that, to me it sounded like the words once lobbed at her being spat back at the person who first uttered them -- even if only in her mind. There's an anger an intensity when she sings that part (in contrast to the "see her" part), especially as it comes to the peak of the bridge.

With the information that's slowly trickling out, from the way puzzle pieces are starting to fit together with the background, the references to works of art like The Little Mermaid, Clara Bow, even perhaps Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, etc., I'm feeling more and more confident that that's likely the case. If we're taking into consideration context clues from these like the idea of having to give up what makes you sing (metaphorically and literally) to attain the life you think you want, to keep the love you think you've earned, to let bitterness fester and eat the relationship from within, there's an undercurrent of resentment in those lines about the things that make one person soar and the other recoil.

If I were to make an educated guess about these circumstances, I would think the line isn't about marriage writ large, it's about someone who is fuelled by desires -- in this case, to live out in the open, to embrace her world, to drop the shroud from her shoulders ---- and having those desires shunned by a partner who sees that external validation as debasing. A mirrorball to the whims of the public, as it were. But she is saying, this is who I am and this is what I want, and want you to love me not in spite of these but because of these. It's like she's saying, I wouldn't marry the version of me you think I am (that you disdain). She's trying to say, all these things you don't like about me and my life are what make me me.

In other words, it sounds like the realization that the person who is supposed to be your greatest champion thinks of you completely differently (and unkindly) from the person you are. And perhaps the crux of it is, what am I willing to give up to be the version of me this person wants? How many inches must I give before the miles they take become a runway?

In retrospect, the "Me" she wants him to choose at the end of the song may not just be an imploring to make a commitment full stop, but choosing the person she is vs. the person he thinks he wants, because she's sick of twisting herself into knots trying to cater to him when the goalposts keep moving. Their love comes at a cost to both, and it's one that may erase everything she holds dear.

We're in for a wild ride in April.

[taylortruther]

The bridge of You're Losing Me really hits me like a Metra train every single time I hear it still...like it feels like she is pleading her case to get him to love her back..."I gave you my best mes and my endless empathy I was your bravest soldier I'm in the frontlines fighting for you I'M THE BEST THING AT THIS PARTY!!" like she's giving him reasons to appreciate her, she's making herself look as desirable and compromising as possible, she's trying to please him and he doesn't care...and then the heartbreaking, jawdropping retraction of her words "I wouldn't marry me either a pathological people pleaser" like she's given up the act, she's tired and just being honest and trying to sprinkle in some self deprecating humour to mask her hurt...and then "who only wanted you to see her" feels as bitter and scathing as it does a pathetic confession.

She's telling him that she didn't want much and he couldn't even give her THAT (the bar is on the ground and he dug a hole) but it also feels like a last ditch attempt at her telling him "THERE'S STILL TIME, you can still appreciate me".

It's like the bridge starts off with Taylor at the prime of her rage, frustration and confidence that she could convince him to save their relationship...and with every passing lyric her facade slips and she becomes more hauntingly honest...finally accumulating in the outro where she's just straight up laying out her demands to him and begging him to DO SOMETHING about it.

It feels like the last line "I've got nothing to believe unless you're choosing me...you're losing me" is more of an honest confession to herself than to him. It feels like she finally realised that if he's not willing to give her what she needs, she's also willing to leave him.

The whole song is literally so OOTW paranoia coded...the "stop, stop, stop" and "you don't know what you've got until it's gone" feel like ultimatums to HIM...because she's done all she could have and now she wants him to reciprocate. I think the last line is her realising what needs to be done and the fact that this was written in 2022 ALLEGEDLY is sooo terrifying.

YES the pacing of that song, the way her voice rises and falls, tells a story on its own. all her rage and despair, and all her hope, fading out like a dying thing.

the frontlines stanza really hits me because she's literally like... i did all of these things for you!!! i was your best friend and your biggest ally!! i did EVERYTHING, how can you not SEE how good i've been here??? and it always brings to mind this visual of a woman desperately scratching and banging at a closed door.