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#i've been resisting birth control for SEVEN YEARS!
heirloommtomatoes · 2 years
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i think i’m gonna give birth control three months and then say byeee!! i miss myself! i miss myself so much! 
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vivwritesfics · 5 months
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Hold Me Close
okay so i've been in this situation, but it played out very differently. I just want to in some way experience it in a nicer way than i actually did.
She doesn't want a baby. Spencer comforts her through a pregnancy scare
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When he was younger, Spencer Reid hadn't wanted kids. His own childhood hadn't been the best (not through the faults of his mother, Spencer loved her more than anything in the world), and he wasn't confident in his ability to look after a child.
But then JJ had Henry. Spencer had been, admittedly, freaked out by her pregnancy. But then he met Henry, the sweetest little bundle of flesh out there.
And then JJ had Michael and Morgan had his child. Spencer really could see himself coming around to the idea.
The only problem was finding somebody, somebody he loved, somebody he wanted to have a child with.
Spencer never expected to meet her after his stint in prison. He was damn near forty. And she was significantly younger, only in her twenties. Spencer had resisted. for the longest time he had resisted. But she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.
It didn't take long for them to collide, lips and tongue and teeth clashing together in a way the others didn't expect from their resident genius.
Spencer was full of regret after the first time. He remembered being her age, remembered all of the things he'd gone through at that age. And, to him, that was a lifetime ago. He'd completed countless cases, saved countless lives.
But she was patient with him. She stayed by his side, she took care of him in a way Spencer hadn't expected. It was hard not to fall in love.
Spencer knew she was young, knew that, where he might have been ready for a child, there was a chance she wasn't after a year together, after a year of being careful when they had sex, a year of wearing condoms and taking birth control, they had their first pregnancy scare.
She hadn't felt right for weeks, tried to convince herself it was just a stomach bug. But there was that feeling in the back of her mind, the one that told her she needed to take a test.
So, while she was cuddled up against Spencer, hands clutching her stomach as he read, she looked up at him. "Spence," she squeaked, and he tightened his arm around her.
The way she asked him to walk to the store with her, he'd never heard her sound so vulnerable before. Spencer couldn't say no to her if he tried. He held her hand the entire time, as they picked up the box of tests, as he paid for them.
And as soon took one, as she peed on the stick and set it down, he waited with her. She sat on the closed toilet lid and Spencer sat on the edge of the bathtub.
He couldn't help but watch the way she she hugged herself, eyes cast downwards as she waited for the results.
"C'mere," Spencer whispered and opened his arms.
Immediately she sat beside him and tucked herself into his side. "I'm sorry," she said as fat tears rolled down her cheeks.
Spencer kissed the top of her head. "You have nothing to he sorry about," he whispered, lips still against her hair. "What... what do you want to do if it's positive?"
It wasn't something they'd discussed before. Spencer knew he was ready for children, but she was so much younger, and she hadn't spoken to him about it before.
She shook her head, eyes squeezed shut as she buried her face against his chest. "I can't, Spencer," she cried. "I can't keep it."
"Okay," he said and rubbed her back soothingly.
After the seven minutes they checked the test. Negative. She was so happy she could have cried. "Thank God," she whispered and threw the negative test away.
It had taken it all out of her. With a hand on the small of her back, Spencer guided her back to the bed. He held her until she fell asleep, reading to her.
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solohux · 6 years
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Do you have a list of famous/must read fic, since I'm knew to the Fandom I'm just overwhelmed buy the amount of fics lmao. (I've already read Honeycomb, loved it)
Ahhwelcome to the fandom! Gladly! I’ll just clarify my list first, though. If youwant famous, then I suggest just starting at the top of the Most Hits filter of theAO3 tag.
Personally, what I consider famous and what Iconsider a must read are different so I hope that’s okay! This will be alist of my favourite must read fics though it’s by no means exclusiveand it’s just my own personal opinion. Enjoy! (•⊙ω⊙•)
(and apologies to mobile users! I know the Read More function doesn’t always work on mobile and this is a long post!!)
- allthat you love will be carried away by @ceruleancynicHux, sent to retrieve Kylo Ren from the dying Starkiller Base,has lost almost everything, and has little patience or tolerance left foranyone or anything–particularly not Snoke’s pet pseudo-Sith and his amateurtheatrics. But you do the job that is in front of you, to the best of yourability, and you hold on as long as you can.
- WakeUp, Sleeper by @penpenhoorayIt would seem odd that the Resistance should always seem to get theirinformation just a bit faster than the First Order. Of course, General LeiaOrgana knows the risks her mole is taking by sending her life savinginformation. Luke was confident in his padawan’s ability to infiltrate theFirst Order to destroy it from the inside, and he trusted his pupil’sinstincts. And Hux? Well, he’s spent over a decade as a sleeper agent withinthe bowels of the First Order when he feels an awakening in the Force, and he’sdecided it’s time to begin the destruction of the First Order. And he’s goingto bring Ben back to the Light if it’s the last thing he does.
- Reconditioningby @jinxedambitionsBen Solois one of the FBI’s most promising young agents. While he’s had a fewdisciplinary hiccups, he’s intelligent and not afraid to do what needs to bedone. His personal life is a mess, and he may not look like your typicalfederal agent, but he might be the only man for this job. Ben’s looking for apromotion and something like the glory his parents always talked about beforehe was born. The FBI is looking to take down one of the country’s most elusiveprostitution rings, specializing in the types of sex that Ben’s boss has onlyread about in the novel his wife hides under the bed. Ben is going undercoveras a “slave” in order to gather information on the ring’s leaders,purchasing a premium package from the agency. 30 days as a slave to aprofessional Master, and a guaranteed sexual experience of a lifetime.  Hegets chosen by Hux, or the General as he insists Ben call him, and he quickly realizesthat no training could have prepared him for this experience. Every day, Ben,or Kylo as he is known at the club, finds out more and more about theorganization, but the more he learns the less he wants to destroy them.
- Tothe Pure by @kdazraelDear siror madam, I am General Hux of the Resurgent-class Star Destroyer Finalizer. Iwas recently strong-armed by a colleague into joining an order of mysticknight-warriors and now they want me take part in their team-building orgies.Please advise.
- Bodies,Can’t You See? by sual When Hux sees the positive result on the pregnancy test scanner, he comes toseveral alarming realizations all at once. One: that his birth control has beentampered with. Two: that the baby is Kylo’s. Three: that this is his truepunishment for Starkiller’s failure. And quietly, in a weak, tiny voice in theback of his mind, the unsettling conclusion that he wants to keep it. He’ll diebefore he lets anyone near his child. He’ll tear apart anyone that tries to getin his way. Even Kylo.             
- FollowingOrders by @redcoleSnoke decides that Kylo needs to produce an heir so they can continue hisline and Hux finds himself lined up as the other father.  
- Sevento One by @anorlostHux is trying to keep everything under control as he suddenly has seven Rens tocontend with.  As he tries to keep them from destroying his ship, he failsto notice that the Knights of Ren have other plans.  Plans thatinvolve…cuddling.
- Flickerin the Void by @mothdustmouthHux watched in silence as the light swept over his body. The power stunned him,as did the bright jet of flame as it licked its color into his eyes. This wasnot the calm brightness of last night in the presence of Kylo Ren. This was adifferent sort of light altogether, massive and deadly. It overwhelmed him. Fora moment Hux felt an aching regret deep within himself, the sob of someone heused to be, bubbling up from the cold.          
- Progenyby @geishacombGeneralHux has not allowed the Supreme Leader back into his bed since the events ofTLJ. But when he does, the consequences are far graver than either he or Rencould have ever imagined.
-  ASong of Crows by Ficlet-Machine (Wordsmith) (WIP)WarchiefHux has just buried his trusted Crow, and, if the Gods still favour him, a newone will find their way to his lands. Hux may be young, but he is a good leaderfor his people. He is ready for the commitment, the responsibility, the changesthat come with a new child of the Gods at his command. The clan needs it, needsit spiritual leader if they are ever to claim ownership of all the lands fromhere to the Core Kingdoms. Raised a warrior, he is more than ready to paint theworld red in honor of his gods. He may, however, not be entirely ready for whathe will feel the first time he meets the haunted and tormented eyes of theyoung Crow called Kylo Ren.
- TheEmperor’s New Consort by @redcoleThe First Order is in control of the Galaxy, in a last ditch effort to savethose who are left, they request negotiations. Only to find that for theResistance to survive they only need to give up one thing small thing - the angry Senator Ben Organa.
- herecomes the first day by @inguThe moment Hux threw himself in front of the blaster shot meant for Kylo Renwas the moment he realised that he had well and truly gone out of his mind.(Or, the one where Hux tries to save the life of Kylo Ren and accidentally saveshimself in the process.)
- volitionby @bygoneboy“Kylo Ren,” Hux says, feeling humiliated as the words leave his mouth, “is notinfatuated with me—”  “My apprentice is easily led,” Snoke continues, as if Hux hasn’t spoken. “He isdriven by impulse, emotion. These fixations are distractions to his true path,and they are things I will break in him, when he is ready. In the meantime…” Hewaves a knotted, spider-veined hand toward Hux, as if in dismissal. “You willassist me, in sating his desires.”pre-tfa. hux is issued orders to seduce kylo ren. chaos ensues.  
- WeHang Side By Side by @reserveBefore Kylo Ren can complete his training, he must retrieve a Sith artifactfrom the Bothan System. Hux goes along with.
- ExMachina by sualAn AUinspired by Ex Machina where Ben Solo never became Kylo Ren, General Hux is adroid that used to be human, and they might just be what the other needs.Warning for a whole lot of robophilia and cruel and unusual uses for droids.
- FriendsWith Renefits by @moonwalkingcrabThe Rules:1. Just sex, no feelings2. The arrangement lasts as long as is beneficial3. Either party can choose to end the arrangement, no questions asked4. No kissing
- Starfuckerby @agent-nemesisKylo Renfollows a suspicious noise and finds a secret room. When he makes it inside, hecan’t quite believe his eyes.
- AnAlpha’s Pride by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleofHux hasgotten Kylo pregnant, and is infatuated with his changing body. He is sodistracted by the way Kylo’s belly is rounding out beneath his robes and hispectorals are swelling in anticipation of nursing that it takes everything inhim to keep from fucking him right on the bridge.
- Babe,I’m Here Again by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof (WIP)It’s 2008 and graduate student Armitage Hux has no idea why hes still hangingout with that nerd of a second year Ben Solo. Surely he had better things to dothat sit around planning Dungeons & Dragons adventures with this not-at-all-attractiveAlpha who he definitely doesn’t think about constantly. A tale of illness,heartbreak, unexpected gifts, new beginnings, and rediscovery. Featuring twoidiots who don’t realise how much they love each other until its almost toolate.
- Bittersweetand Strange by @obsessions-and-dreamsIn a castle surrounded by a forest, lived a prince who became a monster.In aquiet village on the other side of the woods lived an unhappy young man withbig dreams.A Kylux Beauty and the Beast AU.
- Sunstrokeby @ballvvasherSupreme Leader Snoke gives Kylo Ren a mission to strengthen the Knights’ of Renhold on the First Order. Set several years before the events of Episode VII.Story contains mpreg, medical torture, and sexual assault.
- TheGuilty Bystander by @cthene  “You like this story, don’t you Ren? It’s awfully romantic. Let’s pretend it’strue. Let’s pretend we conspired together to overthrow him.”  Hux gets inover his head.
- Psychomachiaby @longstoryshortikilledhimBy thetime the events of SW:TFA unfold, Armitage Hux and Kylo Ren are bitter exes.This is what happened before.
- TheFall by @rosensilenceWhen Resistance smuggler Kylo Ren is captured and brought aboard the Finalizer,General Hux gets more than he was expecting.  It isn’t long before thingsare spiraling out of Hux’s usually tight control.     
- Unexpectedby @gonna-pop (WIP)After twenty years together, Ben and Armitage have gotten comfortable. Thereare no surprises left in their marriage, and nothing new to learn about eachother. That is, until Armitage unexpectedly goes into heat while they’revacationing on a resort world — and a few days of renewed passion changes thecourse of their lives.
- Convivial Society by @vadiannaLeia doesn’t know what to think when she sees the report about two First Order prisoners taken by surprise. They are suspected First Order officers, but the field can’t verify this.She understands better when General Hux is brought before her, obviously caught in the middle of some rather intense sexual intercourse. She has to ask.
- KnockedUp by @agent-nemesis“Areyou ready?” Kylo asks Hux stupidly, realising the question is moredirected at himself.Hux answers with a cry, and then his panic rises again.Kylo hunches over him, cocooning him protectively. “You can do this,” he whispers. “I know you can do this.”“I can’t,” Hux whimpers, shaking his head. “They’re too big. Ican’t.”“You’re a general of the First Order,” Kylo says softly in his ear. “TheGeneral. The strongest man I know. You can do this.”
- GameOver by limit_breakerLate one night in the officer’s lounge, Kylo Ren challenges General Hux to agame of billiards. That might have been a mistake.
- Pillarsof Salt by @francisthegreatIn whicha young priest learns the meaning of temptation.
- AcademyStyle by @eralkfang“It’s nota question of desire, it’s a question of logistics.”
- SoSoft (And So Terrible) by @theearlgreyalphaGeneral Hux realizes that maybe he’s capable of being a little compassionateafter all, when Kylo Ren winds up in his doorway in the middle of the night.
- Don’tBe Shy (You’ve Been Here Before) by @cut-off-the-grainThe call of the Light, the call of the Dark, have never been so tempting asHux’s hands in his hair as Hux wrangles him this way and that with only thegentlest of touches against his scalp. Hux moves him, moulds him, guides him,in the same exacting manner he does battle plans and blueprints, but with alanguidness which has no place in warfare. Instead of harsh words and reprimandsfor failure there is only Hux whispering “shh, darling, calm down, norush" until Ren is trembling and desperate, his hands and his mind full ofHux, Hux, Hux.
- bodiesagainst by @brawliteGeneral Hux buys himself a present. He ends up sharing said present with theKnights of Ren, who shamelessly barge in on his personal leave time.
- Pasiphaeby @vadiannaWhile depressed one night, Kylo Ren decides to jerk out his sorrows to hisfavorite holoporn vids, starring Major Fuxx and his parade of alien partners. Major Fuxx bears a striking resemblance to General Hux, which is part ofthe appeal, but he suddenly realizes that they may have more in common thantheir looks…
- ForgetHow to Feel by @onewhositswiththeturtlesHux grewup being told that feeling emotions was weak and shameful. If he ever wanted tobe successful he would need to dispel them or use Sinaffec, a drug that mutesemotions. Now Hux has been appointed General of the First Order and relocatedto Starkiller Base. It has been years since he needed Sinaffec to control hisemotions but that changes when Snoke’s apprentice, Kylo Ren, arrives.Ren seemscapable of invoking every emotion in Hux - first irritation but then other,deeper emotions Hux refuses to acknowledge. But when Ren starts talking aboutsoul mates and force bonds, Hux can only deny his feelings for so long untilhis must make a choice: take Sinaffec indefinitely or surrender to his emotionsand see where they lead him.
- MeetMe Halfway by @callmelyss“I don’tdo that,” Hux responds in an undertone before he realizes. He flushes—hard—andscowls. “If that will be all, Supreme Leader…” He turns on his heel withoutwaiting to be dismissed and starts to stalk back the way he came, grateful, asever, for the wide sweep of his greatcoat, the padded shoulders making him feelless—small.He’s halfway out of the room (and what a waste of space) when what he said mustcatch up with Ren: “You mean you…never?”He freezes, every muscle in his body tensing. Won’t say it out loud. No, heemphasizes, clear as he can. Knowing Ren will hear, knowing he will see itregardless, terrible nosy busybody that he is. I haven’t.
- Bombshellby @cosleia        Departmentstore employee Ben Organa learns something new about the gorgeous redhead whoalways requests his help selecting lingerie.
- Touchby @kyluxtrashpit         When Huxfinds himself falling into bed with Kylo Ren, he wants nothing more than tocompletely take Ren apart. He finds a way to do just that.
- Carpetburns by @ellstra   Hux’sfascination with Imperial officers is not only professional. Kylo decides Huxdeserves to relieve the pressure of command for once, and buys an Imperialuniform from Space ebay™.
- In myveins by @ellstra           Hux hadbeen hiding his Force-sensitivity for years, using it sparsely and with greatcaution, but it only takes one mission gone wrong and all his carefully builtdefences shatter to protect Kylo. Snoke is always eager to use up all power hecan get.
- Understandingby @onewhositswiththeturtles       Throughthe Force Rey accidentally witnesses an intimate moment between her twogreatest enemies, Kylo Ren and General Hux. Despite her hatred towards the twomen for what they’ve done to the Resistance, Rey is forced to learn andunderstand that everyone is fighting for something.
- LifeThrough Glass by @moonwalkingcrab     Hux’s life is fairly simple, he has his work, he has his cat, and he has hisflat. Now it seems he has a new neighbour. With windows so close together it’seasy to fall into the world of Kylo Ren.      
-and lead us not into temptation by @liesmythHux looks him up and down, this Resistance golden boy, gangly and ungraceful and so appallingly soft. Takes a drag of his cigarette. “You’re weak,” he says.Solo looks up at him. “Please.” He draws in a long, broken breath. “Please.” Or: General Hux thinks about Ben Solo a lot more than he probably should.
- The Interrogation Game by @jinxedambitions    Kylo Ren finds himself strapped to his own interrogation table, getting a lesson from General Hux.  Pain isn’t the only interrogation technique, perhaps not even the most effective.  Strapped down with nowhere to go, Kylo is at Hux’s mercy.  If he just tells Hux what he wants to hear, he might find relief from this overwhelming pleasure…but it isn’t that simple.
- Forceless by @sinningsquire  Ren has lost the one thing that defined him from before he was even born. Somehow this results in a mad dash through the Galaxy, with more bloodshed that two men should be able to bring on, and with one happy ending under a starry canopy of a summer night.     
- Like a Vicious Dove by @thevulcanpresidentIt has been a year since Hux destroyed Snoke and took the galaxy for his own, a year since Kylo Ren pledged his service to the new emperor. When Hux gets kidnapped, he trusts his knight to rescue him. 
- Rule by @thez1337After the events on the rebel base, and the escape of some of the highest commanding rebel leaders, Kylo Ren takes Snokes place as head of the First Order. General Hux seeths, and his own secret ambition at ruling the Galaxy isn’t quite so secret.      
- All’s Fair… by @nonsensicalsoliloquy    "You missed me.“  Hux frowned, “I did not miss you, Ren. I didn’t miss your arrogance, petulance, or destruction of my ship anymore than you missed me and my refusal to cow to your whims.“  Ren only leaned in closer, his frustratingly large body nearly flush with Hux’s slender one. "What makes you think I didn’t miss you?”OR: The tension’s been building and building seemingly every day since the moment they met, and it appeared as if Ren had decided it was time it ended.  
- Take Me or Leave Me by kyluxicle (LadyCamillus), oorsprong    When Kylo Ren returns from training with Leader Snoke, he comes back more collected and focused. While Hux appreciates this newfound control, he misses the passion that Ren used to have—especially towards him. In attempt to get Ren back into his bed, Hux sets his sights on a lesser officer in order to bring out Ren’s jealousy. Either Ren will snap out of this cold persona and take him back, or Hux will have to settle for less.  
- Politics by @sithofrenHux has an unusual request for his birthday. He wants to ‘capture’ Senator Organa-Solo. Kylo Ren agrees.
- Game Over by @onewhositswiththeturtlesHux has a combat simulation program developed for all First Order personnel and has a sim of himself as the final boss. He congratulates himself when the program becomes a massive success, unaware of the fact that hackers have changed the coding to dress his sim in increasingly scandalous outfits. When Hux finds out that Ren is spending a large amount of time in the sim he gets suspicious and pulls up the video logs of Ren’s sessions, only to realize that Ren is seeking much more than combat training from Hux’s sim. After some thought and planning, Hux decides to give Ren the real thing.
- The Lingerie Incident by @thesunandoceanblue  Hux doesn’t want to be thinking of Leia while he’s tugging down his pants. Instead he thinks of Kylo, and how he’d react to this. He’d be terribly jealous. His secret revealed. To his mother of all people. Hux grimaces in amusement as he shimmies his pants down with one hand, the other holding his coat.    
- Fractured by @kyluxtrashpitWhen Kylo returns from a meeting with his master broken and wrong, it becomes clear that Snoke has gone too far. Hux is left to not only pick up the pieces, but to put them back together again while considering the past and the future.
- Generosity by  orphan_account                Dressed down to his undershirt – which had become far too crinkled for his taste – Hux sported his uniform pants, minus the boots, however, left in his warm, black bed socks (He doesn’t like cold, okay?). And he also had his tongue buried in Kylo Ren’s ass.
- Sweet Redolence by @jakathineWhat happens when the desire to best your opponent turns into a desire to bed them instead…and then fate pushes you together rather Forcefully.
- A Vulpine by any other Name by levitheking & @omega-hux   Hux wasn’t fully Human, his Vulpine Heritage plain as day with his ears and tail. His new co-commander turns out to be a Vulpine as well. Tensions are high and compromises must be made. Until Hux comes up with his most devious plan yet.
- My Own Breath by @saltandlimesHux has only ever caught glimpses of Kylo Ren’s face, short moments when the knight’s helmet is off. After an incident in the hangar, he realizes he needs to see more.
- Matches to Paper Dolls  by @ctheneOn a mission from Supreme Leader Snoke to recover a lost Jedi artifact from the Smuggler’s Moon of Nar Shaddaa, Kylo Ren and General Hux are accidentally drugged.  In addition to spice, it seems, the Hutt crime lord Grakkus was also a purveyor of powerful black market aphrodisiacs. With no choice but to copulate immediately, Hux must talk a terrified virgin Ren through the whole unpleasant, humiliating process.  Upon returning to the Finalizer, Hux is ready to pretend nothing happened.  Ren, however, deeply affected by Hux’s kindness to him throughout the ordeal, can’t put the experience behind him so easily.
- Who’s Your Master? by @groffictionHux murmured softly, “You don’t need punishment tonight, Ren. You need rest.”“But, I want… I want this… need this,” Kylo protested weakly, reaching around to nuzzle at Hux’s boots.
- tender is the night lying by your side by @thethespacecoyote    Emperor Hux misses his mate dearly, even when he’s away clinching their reign. Thankfully, an alpha as powerful as Kylo Ren can overcome even the furthest reaches of the galaxy to tend to his omega’s desires.      
- Forced Perspective by @gamebird   Kylo Ren and Hux are stranded on a jungle world after negotiations go bad. Kylo is badly wounded, his life resting in Hux’s treacherous hands. His take on the reasons for his survival are very different from Hux’s. 
- Chosen Ones by @babbushkaIn the middle of the night memories come rushing back, thankfully Hux and Kylo have each other to hold when they do.  
- Zip it by @centurytwitch   Hux feels that his contributions to the First Order are worthy of an award. He’s not expecting a new rank, though that would be nice. What he really wants is a new uniform to acknowledge the mental wear and tear he endures, the duty he fulfills every cycle.Kylo thinks otherwise.    
- Putting you Back Together but Betterby @techiehuxThere is value to Hux yet, besides being a minor nuisance and occasional source of entertainment. With a few… improvements, he could be ferocious on the battlefield, commanding respect and demanding it in turn.
- No Rest for the Wicked by @embershx​Kylo sees Hux sleeping in their bed and can’t help himself.
- The Escape of the Fox by @theweddingofthefoxes       After the First Order is defeated and Rey becomes Leia’s heir, Kylo Ren and General Hux are both fugitives, and they haven’t seen one another in years. Ren settles into a hermetic existence selling kyber, but when he learns Hux is still alive, he goes to find him under the pretense of staging a coup. But there’s another reason he wants to see Hux again….
I’m going to leave it there! I’ve been at this list on-and-off for about 2 hours, looking through my bookmarks and favourites, and there are still a tonne more but this felt enough to satiate you, anon! Remember, this list is just my personal recommendation of what I believe are must-read fics for a newcomer! They’re fun, they’re all written brilliantly and all amazingly represent the two space nerds that we love!
I’ll make a part 2 if anyone is interested but for now, happy reading!!! ❤️
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